From: mew3point14@doramail.com (Daniel Snyder) "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful bride. She knew love, and she knew what it was to be loved. But she was proud, too, and resolved not to give herself to anyone. "On day of her wedding, she was dressed in her most beautiful gown and surrounded by everyone she loved. But she frowned, because she was proud and she had only half-chosen her husband-to-be. Although she knew him by the word of others, she had never seen his face. "'Smile and love your husband,' they all shouted, 'smile and love your husband.' And the longer she did not smile, the louder they shouted, and the more impatient everyone became. "Finally, she swallowed her pride and smiled weakly. In that moment, her bridegroom came to her. She saw him for the first time. "He was beautiful to look upon, and charming in his bearing. Willingly, she smiled then. Willingly, she married him. "What was the name of the bride?" -- It was the day of the fulcrum. It opened bright and hot under a red rising sun. Ikari Shinji emerged from Akumafune dragging with him the reins of his dreams, and he gazed in mute wonder at the dawn for several minutes before he could focus on his stretching. When the relaxing burn was filling his body like sunlight across his skin, he drew his swords out from his bag. He looked at the bokken in his hand. Shinji had thought before about the sword as a phallus. He had felt humiliated by the comparison, as if he were compensating for some deficiency, physical or otherwise. On the morning of the fulcrum, Shinji first saw the phallus as something to be proud of. "If I'm not trying to compete," he said aloud, "and the sword is nothing more than something I control by the mind and soul, then I balance out the elements of aggression and inadequacy. They just disappear. Regardless of how someone else sees it...I choose my own context. I need to make and to know what my own truth is." Nagisa Kaworu patted him on the back. "A man who practices with his sword becomes a man who can control his own desires," he said with a smile. "What a beautiful thing is balance." Shinji felt the fingers on his shoulder. This was the hand of Rei's lover now. Shinji tightened his grip on his sword and began to practice. He had not been practicing his overhead swings for long when he stopped. "I can't focus," he said to Kaworu and Rei. "I'm sorry. Actually, what am I apologizing for? Oh, I don't know." He sat down on the edge of the roof with his head in his hands and the bokken resting at his feet. "Tiferet," Kaworu said gently. "Tiphares?" "Tiferet, friend Shinji. We must discuss balance today. The balance that is compassion, the balance of beauty. And from this point on, our discussion must change slightly. Talk now, if you do not practice with your sword. What is the difference between a quality, say, a kingdom or a foundation, versus a quality like Beauty or Wisdom?" "I don't know that I'd call a foundation a quality," Shinji answered. "It's a tangible thing. On the other hand, Beauty is really flexible. I find the Bolero beautiful, but one of my old teachers couldn't stand it." "You answer confidently and well. Beauty is more difficult to define." Kaworu crossed one leg over the other, changing the shape of his shadow, and went on. "So as we progress, what and how we investigate must be understood to evolve. Things will become more and more abstract. We will no longer, after a point, be able to probe essences. Today...I cannot say. All will be as it will be. "Let us now contemplate Tiferet. It is also known as Rahamim, or Compassion." Shinji stiffened, but said nothing. "The human soul descends to Earth when Tiferet unites with Malkhut, the Kingdom, through Yesod. If I had the chance to teach you Hebrew properly, you would fathom this to a greater degree. Be that as it may, let me expound. Beauty or Compassion, Tiferet or Rahamim, is the bridegroom of the Kingdom or the Presence, Malkhut or Shekhinah. The means by which they are united is the Foundation, or the Righteous." Shinji's eyes narrowed. "What exactly are you talking about?" "I am talking about the psychology of God, Shinji, nothing less." Kaworu gave a sharp nod as he said it, for emphasis. "Mind you, that's an anthropomorphism, but a useful one. It is better perhaps to say, I am talking about how what _is_ comes about. We have digressed. And it is important that we never lose sight of the goal: to become one with the Holy One, blessed be He. It is written, 'For the Lord your God is God of gods, and Lord of lords, a great God, a mighty, and a terrible, which regardeth not persons, nor taketh reward: He doth execute the judgement of the fatherless and widow, and loveth the stranger, in giving him food and rainment. Love ye therefore the stranger: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt. Thou shalt fear the Lord thy God; him thou shalt serve, and to him shalt thou cleave, and swear by his name. He is thy praise, and he is thy God, that hath done for these great and terrible things, which thine eyes have seen.' Never doubt, Shinji, that it is God that has done everything you have seen, great and terrible alike. Do you wish to understand the world around you?" "I do," he said simply. "Then we must learn how it is that God comes to be in this world, and we must strive earnestly to cleave to God, to unlearn. It may not be possible," Kaworu admitted. "But it is better by far to gain even a fraction of an insight than never to have tried at all. And it is through unlearning that we cleave, that we draw closer." Shinji's unease had been stilled, but he was too interested by Kaworu's teaching to continue with his practice. The albino boy went on. "Now we study the act of unlearning itself. What I tell you is so, like all else we have studied. It is an article of faith, neither testable through science nor mutable through government. Compassion, as we shall see but which you can appreciate now, bridges the gap between Judgement and Love. Compassion longs to be united with his bride the Kingdom--Israel, the 'Striver with God'--as she longs to be united with him. The foundation that makes this possible is Righteousness. It is written, 'As the whirlwind passeth, so is the wicked no more: but the Righteous is an everlasting foundation.' But 'Ve-tsaddiq yesod olam', the latter clause, can also mean 'the righteous is the world's foundation.' "So by bringing the Kingdom, the Communion of the World, and Beauty, the Holy One, blessed be He, together through the Foundation, righteous behavior, we can draw closer to God. This is one of the many paths available to us in our journey to know God. When we study and when we unlearn, then Yesod is strengthened and Tiferet and Malkhut move together. In this action, God and the people are moved closer. If--God forbid!--people neglect their studies and indulge themselves in wanton self-gratification, then God draws into Himself, and the world draws away from God." Kaworu fell silent. Shinji was thinking about something, trying to come to terms with something, like how the Moon adores a volcano as it erupts. He glanced at his swords, within reach, and announced, "I'm having trouble with this. It's taking me a while to accept. I'd always thought of God as, you know, a god. Like one of the gods you read about. It's just that, instead of one for every animal and rock and mountain, there was just one who did it all. But that's not what you're talking about, is it? You're talking about something fundamentally different." "You are correct, Shinji. The concept of mystical monotheism isn't easy for someone who's been raised as an animist to accept. God isn't in the rose friend Rei waters. God _is_ the rose, the water, the force of gravity, even the intent within her mind to water and the vegetable thirst. If God were to somehow be separated from the rose, it could not exist for even an instant. Neither you nor I, nor Rei, could even conceive of a rose's existence." For the first time in as long as Shinji could remember, Nagisa Kaworu looked solemn, almost sad. "It is time now, Shinji, to face the first great test of your studies. For it is from Tiferet that ha-Shatan, the Adversary, descends." "'Hantai'? The Adversary?" "There is a concept called 'Sitra Ahra', which means 'The Other Side', and it is with compassion that it enters the picture. Humans yearn for the balance between Love and Power. We shall see more of this in time. But once again, I think that you know this to be true. "As humans seek to perform righteous behavior, day in and day out, they seek to find Beauty--the balanced solution. That which brings them closer to God. 'Without silence, there is no music; there is only noise.' M. Scott Peck, as I recall, said it. Sometimes, the balanced solution seems to require more of one than the other to restore the balance and allow the Will of God to be done in this world. Yet there are times, many of them, when righteous behavior is not performed. Instead, the will of a person is done. Such a person is acting out the will of The Adversary, and the Will of God is kinked--bent astray to The Other Side. "What is the origin of ha-Shatan? It is, like all things, an aspect of God; but one whose origin lies within the human heart. People are given free will, Shinji. if they were not, God could not grow. But with free will, people can choose to go with or against their Lord. When faced with sadness and the heat of the moment, they can make a selfish choice. "It is sad but true, Shinji...the Adversary lies in you." "Me?" exclaimed the boy. "And anyone else who makes a choice of their own free will." "That--that's nonsense!" Ikari Shinji leapt to his feet, accidentally putting his foot on the flat of his foil, and glowered at Kaworu. "I can think of a hundred times when somebody FORCED me into making a bad choice. Dammit! It isn't always my fault." "Is that your belief?" "And I do NOT," he went on, with a great sweeping gesture, "need you to tell me what I should and should not have done. _You_ weren't there, you don't have any business telling me what I should and shouldn't have been responsible for. Now, LEAVE ME ALONE! I'm going," he announced, and stalked off down the roof to the stairwell. "He didn't take that well," Ayanami Rei observed in his wake. -- For over an hour, Ikari Shinji sat alone in his classroom and stewed. He was slumped at his desk, staring disconsolately at nothing in particular. He was alone, free to spend time in misery. His accidental friendship with Nagisa Kaworu had come grinding to a standstill that morning. The albino boy had blatantly accused him of being his own enemy. All of his problems were of his own making. How could he have said such a thing? What on Earth did this self-righteous interloper, who had spent less than a week in his dorm--HIS dorm--know about what Shinji had been through? Shinji didn't believe for an instant Kaworu had experienced half, a tenth, of the misery he had been through in his time. "Yo! Shinji!" Shinji jolted out of his rainy thoughts to see Aida Kensuke entering the classroom. "What's the matter, Shinji? You're looking down." "It doesn't matter," he replied. "C'mon." Kensuke pulled out a video camera and began tinkering with it. "I want to get a scoop on your candidacy for the paper. I went through the trouble of getting up early, hoofing it to Akumafune, then tracking you all the way back across campus here. Now, I want to get your best side for the camera. What's the story? Can you give us a smile?" Shinji didn't smile, but with great reluctance he answered his friend. "It's that guy Kaworu who's been over at our place. You remember meeting him the other day? When we had the picnic together? He's been staying in Akumafune with Rei and me. Today, this morning he told me that every problem I have in my life is my own fault." "Uh-huh. So what's wrong with that?" Shinji's face appeared in the viewfinder of the camera. His brow was furrowed, and the muscles of his jaw clenched as he spoke. "I told you, just about everybody I knew growing up hit me, or shouted at me, or just abandoned me. And each one of them _chose_ to be my guardian! I didn't do anything to deserve that kind of treatment. It wasn't my fault. I shouldn't be blamed." "No, you're right," Kensuke's voice came from off-screen. "You shouldn't blame yourself." Shinji nodded, and his face grew on the screen. "See? He's wrong. He doesn't understand about me. He just doesn't understand. And I can't be held responsible." The boy stared, half-triumphant, half-pleading, into the camera. Then his face disappeared into the black as Kensuke switched off his camera. "So if I call you a whiny jerk-wad, are you going to beat me up and blame it on someone else?" Kensuke asked. Before Shinji could reply, Kensuke continued. "I got into an argument with Touji this one time about psychology. He said that we're all basically good people inside, but I argued that the subconscious mind takes out its anger and confusion on other people, and we never unconsciously get along with anybody. Whatever. But we both agreed that conscious actions are the defining actions, you know? You can hate somebody all you want subconsciously, but if you lean back and slug him one, you've crossed a line. "Now look at you. You're edgy, and you're irritable. Whether it's that some guy gave you a black eye when you were eight or that some other guy gave you a piece of his mind twenty minutes ago, it all doesn't matter. What matters is that you're taking out what you feel inside on other people, and THAT, amigo, you are responsible for." Reluctantly, Shinji admitted, "I guess I am." "You ever hear the one about the two old priests and the ravishing maiden?" asked Kensuke. "There's these two old priests wandering through the mountains, you know, not talking or nothin'. And they get to this stream in the mountains, and there's this beautiful woman, just standing there. She's all up in this pretty kimono. And she says to the two priests, 'I can't possibly cross this stream by myself...would either of you two gentlemen help a lady across?' "So one of the priests steps forward, and even though he's an old geezer he's able to pick her up and carry her across the stream. It's not deep or really fast-moving or anything, so the three of them cross it in nothing flat. Then on the other side, he puts her down, nice and dry. She says thank you to the priests, and they part company. "The priests walk until sundown. They make camp, start a fire, and eat a small meal. They're about to go to sleep when one of the two priests, the other one, not the one who got the girl, finally breaks the silence. He says, 'Why did you pick up that lady back at the creek today? You know we're not supposed to even touch ladies, let alone carry them anywhere. Not to mention that she was so completely full of herself, for imposing on us--a couple of monks--to do whatever it was that she wanted.' So without even rolling over, the other priest says, 'I left that young lady back by the side of the stream. Are you still carrying her with you?'" The classroom had begun to fill with students. Some avoided Shinji, he didn't notice. Some were listening to Kensuke's story; he spoke to his friend. "So if you've been hurt in the past, man, I'm sorry for you and all of that. But if you're still letting it hurt you, that's not good. And taking it out on other people is not called for. _That_ is what you're doing to yourself, Shinji. You've had time to recover and put your childhood into perspective. All Kaworu's saying is you haven't used your time." "I feel stupid," said Shinji, chucking miserably. "Don't," Kensuke replied. "Spend your time feeling happy. Think about all you've got. Friends! Food! Good weather! Nice clothes! A chance to expostulate at lunch about your political aspirations." "I can't do the interview at lunch!" Shinji exclaimed. "I need to go apologize to Kaworu." "You live with the guy, don't you? Wait until the day's over. If he's smart enough to tell you what the heck's wrong with you, then he's patient. 'Sides," said Kensuke as he grabbed his camera, "look who just walked in." Everyone's attention was on the door as Fuyutsuki Kouzou entered, looking pale and wan. He wore a thick green sweater and stiff khaki pants, an overcoat, and a hat, but his skin still looked clammy. In spite of it, he wore a happy smile and nodded to the students who applauded his return. The only bag he carried with him was a small paper bag with the word "Lunch" written on it. "Good morning, class," said Fuyutsuki. "Good morning, sensei!" everyone replied with glowing enthusiasm. "Stand!" said Kensuke. Everyone stood. "Bow!" said Kensuke. Everyone bowed. "Sit!" said Kensuke. Everyone sat. "Are you the new inchou?" asked Fuyutsuki. "No, sir!" he replied with enthusiasm. "I'm an anarchist expropriating the position's authority." "That's very nice, Aida-kun. Thank you." Fuyutsuki took out a folded-up sheet of paper from his overcoat. "I would like to read to you all now an announcement issued by the Board of Directors this morning. It reads as follows. 'We can no longer put out of our minds the fact that only what lies within the boundaries of this Academy is certain to exist. Consequently, we must change our focus to reflect this state of affairs. The Board of Directors, in conjunction with the representatives of the faculty and student bodies, will adopt a new curriculum designed to prepare students for life within Feuervogel Academy. Your feelings and opinions are valuable. We will begin our work in the coming days.'" Putting down the paper, he said, "Speaking personally, it is a tragedy that we have lost valuable members of our student body, lives that are both sacred and irreplaceable in our hearts. You have lost your families and the simply joy of freedom here in our world. I find it saddening that you young men and women have been so suddenly denied the liberties available to you only weeks ago. I do not know how to mourn what we have lost. Rather than mourn, I'd rather give life while I am still living. I am a teacher; I teach. I've come back to teach you for as long as I can because it's the only way I know how to honor the dead." "And we're glad you're back, sensei!" Shinji burst out. Cheers and applause, the relief of children who could not bottle up their anxiety much longer, came from the class. Fuyutsuki smiled, lapping up the amity, before he asked for quiet. "Since we're waiting for the first period to start, I'd like to tell you about when there were three popes who each excommunicated the other two..." -- After History came Physical Science. The subject was optics. The teacher had set up a wave tank with a series of rods and cones spaced out through the tank. A wave generator would produce different sorts of waves, and the waves would interfere with the physical objects and their own reflections. At one point, a ray of sun fell across the tank, casting a bright reflection off of the wall. Shinji watched the waves, now waves of light; how the simple transfer of energy changed what had been a closed system, describable by simple mathematics, into a sublime phenomenon. English was their last real class of the morning. Shinji was not called upon to speak that day, and followed along as best he could while his mind drifted back to the illusion that had once been Kirishima Mana. _What was she to me?_ Shinji thought. _A distraction? A temptation? A crush? How did she change my life? Did she come from the Other Side, as Kaworu called it?_ Boys and girls separated for PE. Shinji spoke about the subject to Kensuke, and to Shigeru, who was in class with great reluctance. "The thing is, she _was_ Compassion distorted. She was neither Love nor Judgement--those were the two criteria Kaworu mentioned--she was completely focused on her self. It's like Love and Judgement didn't even exist for her." "You've totally lost me," Kensuke stated. "Think about this." Shinji paused as the group of three boys dribbled soccer balls through an obstacle course, and he resumed his thought a few minutes later. "Think about this. There's compassion, and then there's Compassion. There's compassion, when you do a single thing at one instant, that has both love and judgement in it. Its twin is Compassion, which has the element of Eternity within it. That is when you do the right thing and bring people closer to God. Kirishima-sensei, everything was about herself. She was entirely stripped of Eternity, Splendor, a Foundation, and even really a Kingdom. She was all about the world as she herself knew it." "Perceiving the world as it is makes you a great scholar," Shigeru put in. Shinji shrugged aside the remark. "A great scholar isn't the same thing as a great human being." The conversation was set aside during lunch. Kensuke hung upside-down from the monkey bars, almost exactly at eye level with Shinji, while a small crowd watched: Shigeru, Touji, Maya, Shiori, and the three Magi. "Hi," Shinji said into the camera. "I'm Ikari Shinji. As of June 5 this year, I'm 16. I'm in my first year in high school, and my first year here at Feuervogel." "Why do you want to be president of the Student Council?" "Because," he explained, "I don't think that the previous Student Council was in touch with the students or their needs. I'm an example of this. I was challenged to Duels with members of the last Student Council--with one important exception," he added, smiling at Maya. "I think that a student government needs to work with the students as well as the faculty and other educators. It's time that the most important body within student government open up and facilitate life for the students here on campus." "That's very good to know. But why do you want to be president of the Student Council?" "I'll tell you," he went on. "I am the person who brought all of the people together who will be forming the Liberation Party. I'm also the one who's focusing the platform. I have experience dealing with faculty formally and informally, which I plan to use to help make life better for the students. In fact, I was one of the people that the Board consulted before they made their announcement this morning. These qualifications make me the natural choice." "You sound like a fascinating person. So tell me, why do you want to be president of the Student Council?" "You see," he concluded, "the president is the nominal head of the Student Council. In point of fact, all members should cooperate and freely exchange ideas. But it's the president who handles most of the routine matters before the Council, as well as attracts the most attention. I accept responsibility for my own actions and their consequences. Among these actions are, as I mentioned, the platform and organizing. Being the president will allow me to make the most of the powers given to me by the law and the voting students." "Thank you very much for talking to us, Ikari-san. We wish you the best of luck in the following days." Shinji smiled and waved. "It was a pleasure discussing things with you three today." Three seconds later, Kensuke announced, "That's a wrap!" As Shinji climbed the bars to help Kensuke down, Touji said to the assembled crowd, "All right. We'll see you all at 3 this afternoon. We're meeting down in front of Akumafune Dorm, out on the lawn there." They quickly ate lunch and then returned to class. The Civics class was dealing with economic growth from the early 1960's and the corporate capitalism that had emerged from the industrial growth of the 1950's. Ikari Shinji had to force himself to pay attention. The world of money and funding meant little to him. At the same time, a foreign sense of responsibility was creeping over him. _The President of the Student Council,_ he thought, _does not allow himself to fall asleep during class._ Then another thought followed. _If so, why was it permissible just days ago for him to do so, and for him to be distracted earlier in the day?_ He was unable to answer the question; and, complicating its resolution, the question was never far from his mind. It stayed with him into Visual Arts. Their medium of the day was clay. The calm, cool touch of the clay, so greasy between his fingers, gave him an outlet for his nervous energy. "There is no difference," he said to Shigeru under his breath, "between me today and me as an elected official. Not at first...I'll change in the position, just like being at Feuervogel has made me what I am today." "For better or for worse," Shigeru put in. "Yeah, no kidding. So, why is it that I think it's OK to gossip in class now, but I wouldn't be caught dead gossiping in a month's time?" "Well...hand me that sculpting thingamajig, will you? Thanks." The musician began to carve out a long tendril shape on his sculpture, adorned with little projections on the upper surface. "There's gossiping and there's gossiping. I mean, something is clearly bugging you right now, or you wouldn't talk to me about it. So which would you rather have? Someone who can't concentrate all period long, or someone who'll talk for five minutes and then focus in?" Shinji nodded. "You're right. There's the substance. But there's also the dimension of respect, isn't there? What kind of a message is me or you talking going to send to the teacher? We're responsible for allowing her to teach us..." He drifted off, in thought, and then a moment later concluded, "That's what the key is. Righteous behavior is irrespective of one's position. Now that I'm elevated to an office, I can see--everybody can see--the consequences of my actions." He turned to Shigeru. "Say you and I start talking. People are going to look at me, and say, 'Hey, look, the President's slacking off.' They'll either start goofing off themselves, which is bad, or start disrespecting me, which is a sin of pride. It's the same thing with me. I've been studying with Kaworu-kun for the past few days, and I can see the consequences of my own actions now." "So, what are you going to do about it?" asked Shigeru. "Unlearn it," Shinji replied. "Unlearn what I should be doing to be a better person." Both boys fell silent--then, realizing that their silence was a virtue, they chuckled slightly under their breath. The two were in such high spirits that neither realized the convergence of thought that had miraculously taken place in the classroom: although the teacher hadn't specified a subject for their work in clay, all two dozen students had sculpted roses. -- Ikari Shinji was pleasantly surprised by the turnout at the first meeting of the Liberation Party. He and Kensuke, acting as cub reporter, had struggled to move some of Akumafune's furniture outside. Arisugawa Juri and Kaoru Miki were able to move three couches from the social room faster than the two boys had moved one. Juri, Shiori and Maya sat on one couch while Miki and Shinji sat on a second. Touji stayed in his wheelchair between the two couches. A dozen more people were on and around the second pair of couches--Kensuke, Kanae, Miki's twin sister Kozoe, friends and curiosity seekers. The three Magi sat on the grass next to Kanae, taking in the proceedings from behind the masks of their monitors. "Why is everyone listening to me?" Shinji began. There was some hemming and hawing, but no definite answers came forth. "Because you're paying attention!" he answered. There were a few polite chuckles, and Shinji continued. "My point in mentioning this fact is that, in perfect honesty, anyone could be up here talking to you. And yet, only a fraction of you will address this group today. Have you ever thought about why this is so? "Let me not answer that directly, because for every one of you there will be a different reason. But they are all pearls of the same grain of sand; it is a question of who becomes a leader. Can anyone give me the definition of a leader? Juri-san? Do you want to give it a go?" The orange-haired girl put down her hand and raised her voice. "A leader respects her teammates, and listens to their concerns as well as the needs of the group. She acts boldly and decisively, yet in a timely fashion. She is willing to put the benefit of the group ahead of her own self-interest." Shinji nodded. "Thank you, Juri-san, those are all good characteristics of a leader. I know I would be proud if I lived up to all of that. But let's go deeper. What, fundamentally, does it mean to be a leader? Guys? Any one of you? Anyone?" They were all silent. "A leader," explained Shinji, "is fundamentally the person entrusted with the responsibility of making decisions for a group. Even though each of us is equal before God and in the eyes of the law, we also possess our own talents and aptitudes. Maya-chan is a fine cook--no, really, I mean that," he said hurriedly as Maya blushed and good-natured laughter broke out. He rescued the situation by joking, "Maya is a good cook, I'm just a poor taster." "I always said you had pretty bad taste," Touji hollered. When the crowd's noise had died down, Shinji returned to the point. "Maya is a good cook, and Miki--to take another example--composes beautiful music. When we want to be fed or entertained, we go to the people with strengths in these areas. When we need a decision made, we get together and we approach a leader. We say, 'We're all too busy cooking and composing to worry about rules and regulations. We trust you to make good policy decisions for us while we all do our own jobs.'" There were nods and murmurs of agreement. Shinji moved on to the next point. "But just like you, who know what a leader should do but have become foggy about what a leader _is_, the people of Feuervogel have become reluctant to approach their leaders. They complain and lose faith. At the same time, the elected feel like their charges are ignorant and short-sighted. They lead more and more by their own opinions, right or wrong. And so a gulf emerges. "The policy of the Liberation Party, from this day on, must be to encourage participation and communication here on this campus. Leaders and electorate must work together. The leaders, of course, must in the end assume responsibility for their decisions, and will individually be held accountable at the ballot box. But between then and now, we must lay a foundation." Miki raised his hand. "Question. You say that our goal is to encourage student participation. Yet we are supposed to be the ones in leadership positions. It seems to me like there's an oxymoron in there, some kind of contradiction in terms. Either that, or we're setting ourselves up to get out of our jobs." "No true," replied Shinji. He shifted around to address Miki and be heard by the crowd. "We must be open to new ideas and opinions, but not necessarily subject to them. Good government is the conscience of its people. We must allow the people as much freedom as is permissible without infringing on the lives and liberties of others. We must find the balance between the rights of society and the rights of the individual. "And this is especially important in the greater context of the new state of affairs here at the Academy. Once upon a time, the members of the Student Council would have been responsible for budgets, for organizing trips, for interscholastic sports. All of that has been stripped away with the end of the world. Now, Feuervogel Academy is responsible for making sense of the past and supporting a society into the future. Right here--right now--" He broke off to glance around the group. He could see, taste, touch the souls of his audience as they hung on the cliff of convergence. Then he spoke once more. "Right here and right now, Student Council is as close to power as any one of us here, anyone in the student body, can be guaranteed to rise. That may change with time, but only if we make it so. We must do better than what we are proscribed to do by the rules. We must do what is right. We must be the conscience of the students of Feuervogel to be the best leaders we can. "Now let us compose a platform, one that will be meaningful to the students and the educators. It will, of necessity, be general; the specifics will tumble from it." They spent the rest of the afternoon discussing the platform: how to meet with their peers for consultation, how to plan activities, what had been issues in the past that a government was responsible for, their own strengths and limitations as they knew them. At long last they all voted to recess, and Miki offered to type up the platform to distribute around campus. The foremost participants pitched in to move the couches back into the dormitory. "I'm looking forward to working with you, Shinji," Miki said. "It's funny, we don't think at all in the same way, but we're moving in accord about what generally should be done." Shiori added, "You've been able to bring together a tremendous variety of people. Not just in one place, but under a common philosophy. That's really impressed me." Shinji spoke carefully, under the pull of unseen forces. "I owe it to you all. I'm grateful to you all for your consideration. Days ago I was an outcast, now I have the respect and friendship of people like yourselves. All I want is for everyone on this campus to have a chance like I've had--a chance to make something of the humanity of others." "You can't legislate that kind of mindset," Juri said, her voice a clarinet. "Maybe not. But we can not get in its way, at worst, and maybe even foster it. Inspire its growth." Maya was the last to leave the dormitory. They sat side by side in a sunbeam on a newly replaced couch. Pen-pen had waddled out to join them, seating himself by Maya's feet. "You said some really profound things today, Shinji-kun. I never knew you thought so much about things." "I didn't used to," he admitted. He looked her in the eyes now, yet she seemed reluctant to meet his. "I've had to do a lot of thinking over the past few days, and Kaworu has been talking to me a lot." "He seems like a wonderful person." "He is. I'm grateful to have known him." "Grateful to who?" "To everyone and everything that's made him who he is," Shinji said. "Everyone, and everything." The girl toyed with her hair. "People have been saying strange things about you for the past few days, Shinji-kun. Some people say you've stood inside a column of fire, and some people say you smell sweet, like rose petals. I didn't know what to think. So I was, I am, glad to see that you're exactly like everyone else and weren't doing miracles today." "I am just like everyone else, Maya-chan. But there was a miracle today." She stared at him, baffled, and so Shinji explained. "Today, eighteen people met and talked about how to form a better government for all. There was no shouting, no hitting. Everyone listened and respected each other. I think we all learned something from one another. That's a miracle." "But Shinji, things like that happen every day." "Then miracles happen every day. Isn't that a wonderful thought?" Maya couldn't stop smiling as she walked the short way home. -- Ikari Shinji walked into his bedroom in the early evening, Pen-pen at his side. The room had been cleaned sometime that day, and the furniture rearranged--the bunk bed was pressed up against the window and the one chest of drawers moved against the near wall. A second had been moved to the foot of the bed. Nagisa Kaworu now had space to call his own. The pale bridegroom was lying in Rei's bed as the two came in, and he sat up to greet them. "Good evening, friends. How has your day been, Shinji-kun?" Kaworu struggled up out of bed, trying to stay covered with the bed sheet, as Shinji stepped forward and embraced him. "Kaworu, I was wrong to shout at you and run away from you this morning. I'm very sorry, and I'm not angry anymore." "Steady, steady, Shinji. I'm glad to hear that you're well, but I should dress myself." The boy made to leave, but Kaworu held him back. "It makes no difference to me whether you're inside or outside, as long as you respect my modesty. Inside is easier to talk. Tell me what you're so excited about." "I realized...I mean, I'd known it before...I just never understood. And this morning, you said that I was responsible for the evil around me. I didn't understand that I'm responsible for the good around me too." "You should take pride in the good you do," Kaworu remarked as he slid a belt around his waist, like a friendly serpent balanced with the tree his body represented. "Not for vanity's sake, God forbid! But so that when you stand before the Holy One, blessed be He, you can say that you have done the most and the best that you can. And maybe that will be enough." "I wish I'd understood this morning. Ah, I can't do anything about it now." Shinji sat at the table across from Kaworu and added, "It's weird, isn't it, what coming in to possession of all the facts does." "Good, evil and confusion. Duality or trichotomy?" "I don't know, I'm still confused." Kaworu laughed. Rei emerged from the shower with a towel wrapped around her and collected some clothes from the closet. Kaworu stood and said, "Friend Rei is about done with her bath. Perhaps we have not talked much today, Shinji, but you have unlearned a great deal. Let us begin dinner preparations, and then you can tell us about the studies we were not present for today." "And the political meeting," Rei added from the bathroom.