From: mew3point14@doramail.com (Daniel Snyder) "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful bride. She knew love, and she knew what it was to be loved. But she was proud, too, and resolved not to give herself to anyone. "On day of her wedding, she was dressed in her most beautiful gown and surrounded by everyone she loved. But she frowned, because she was proud and she had only half-chosen her husband-to-be. Although she knew him by the word of others, she had never seen his face. "'Smile and love your husband,' they all shouted, 'smile and love your husband.' And the longer she did not smile, the louder they shouted, and the more impatient everyone became. "Finally, she swallowed her pride and smiled weakly. In that moment, her bridegroom came to her. She saw him for the first time. "He was beautiful to look upon, and charming in his bearing. Willingly, she smiled then. Willingly, she married him. "What was the name of the bride?" -- That night, Ikari Shinji helped his housemates clean the entire dormitory. They dusted unused rooms, swept the hallways, and scrubbed each and every pot and pan in the kitchen. All remains of the Living Rose's presence in the Dormitory were removed with paint and putty. They made the beds anew. It was very, very late in the evening when they agreed that their work was finished. Even though they were all hungry, so much work and chemicals had made them lose their appetites. Shinji, Rei and Kaworu forced themselves to eat a few mouthfuls of rice, then retired to bed. Shinji did not rest easy that night. For once, it was not nightmares; nocturnal visions of any kind stayed away from him that night. Rather, it was his early rise to the waking world that left him exhausted. Nagisa Kaworu was squatted down by his bedside, staring at the young man with his effortless smile. "Come, Shinji," he said. "It's time to begin today's lesson." Shinji struggled to sit up in bed. He reached over to the clock; in his delirium, he tried flipping it upside down to make sure there was no mistake. A glance outside through the west-facing window confirmed his initial thought. "Kaworu-kun, it isn't even dawn yet." "I know this. Forgive me for interrupting your sleep, Shinji-kun, but we have an incredibly long day ahead of us. I would be amazed if we were done even by midnight tonight. Dress yourself," he said, turning his back, "while I talk to you. Today's lesson will require a bit of an explanation. "Today we study Binah, or Understanding. Yet, as you so rightly foretold yesterday, we have passed beyond a second fulcrum. Shinji, we cannot probe the essence of Understanding. It is impossible, for you or for I. It is only through your intervention, in fact, that I have been able to teach you thus far." "My intervention?" "Yes. Your kendo. For you see, I cannot--without direct human intervention--I cannot know anything that does not pertain to my mission in the material world. Likewise, because I have been created for my purpose, I cannot move closer to my God. Without your assistance. When you teach me, I am transformed from Rahamim Tabris into...another. Another entity." Shinji paused buttoning up his shirt. "Into who? Or what?" he asked. Kaworu smiled. "I do not know. Because you still teach me." His smile became a chuckle and he added, "Perhaps now I _am_ Nagisa Kaworu. Perhaps the name has come to represent something greater than it once did. "I digress," he said, returning to his usual melodious voice. "I wish to tell you that neither I nor friend Rei can ascend any higher than Binah. I can provide you with general instruction, but I cannot fathom my own source. And you...may flirt with insanity, or death, from prying too close." Fully dressed, Shinji stepped around to Kaworu's front side. "Tell me what you can," he said seriously. "What is Binah?" "Binah is many things, Shinji. Binah is Understanding. Binah is a fire that burns in one particular place at a time. Binah is a fire that burns in the human heart. Binah is physical words and spoken thought. Binah is your mother's arms that let you run into the craven, cold world and welcome your return." _Mother..._ Shinji asked, "Where's Rei?" "Rei is outside already, making preparations for today's exercise. We will be in the greenhouse all day today," Kaworu explained, restraining Shinji before he could reach for his backpack. "Leave that here. We will be very busy. But bring three shinai for us." They left Akumafune Dormitory and walked quickly to the greenhouse. It was cool in the hours before dawn, and already a wind was blowing. Shinji looked up to the skies and saw heavy clouds. He said to Kaworu, "We may be in for some rain today." "I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised," the ruby-eyed boy replied, and added, "And to think of all the trouble Rei has been through this morning. We might simply have waited for the rain to fall." "What?" Shinji exclaimed as they entered the courtyard. "You mean Rei's been up all this time?" "Oh, she never went to sleep," answered Kaworu. "She's been preparing the soil." Before Shinji could ask what Kaworu was talking about, they entered the greenhouse. It was warm inside, despite the absence of daylight. In the middle of the greenhouse, along the central pathway, Ayanami Rei had torn up several of the slate flagstones and stacked them neatly over to one side. The area she had exposed was of untilled dirt, slightly larger than the size of a grown man--just over two meters long and perhaps a meter and a half wide. Tears were streaming down her face. Every few seconds, a small sob escaped her. The teardrops ran across her dirty cheeks and down onto the exposed floor, where they formed into mud. This mud Rei took in her fingers and piled up into a human-shaped mound. The fruit of her labor already was filling up the gap in the floor. She stood as the boys approached her. "It is ready," she declared quietly, and wiped her hands off on her skirt. "Thank you for your hard work, Rei," Kaworu said as he kissed her softly on the cheek. To Shinji, he said, "It is now time to begin. For today's exercise, we will emulate the Creation on the microscale. We will influence the spiritual realm to generate animate life in this homunculus." "'Animate life'?" "Yes, animate life. Not spiritual life--we are emulating, not recapitulating, the Creation." Kaworu took a deep breath and said, "To achieve this feat, we will walk counterclockwise around the figure doing the kendo strokes you have shown us. At the same time, we will first invoke the Seventy-Two Mystical Names of the aspect of God called Shemhamphorae. We will then invoke the 231 Gates of the Name of God YHVH by combining each letter--Y, then H, then V, then H--with each of the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet and with all twenty-five combinations of two vowels." Shinji nodded slowly. "Because our goal is to understand the spoken word, its nature and its sound...we're chanting the prayer. But why Hebrew?" Kaworu shook his head. "I must apologize, Shinji, but I cannot do justice with a good and fair explanation. You see, one of the consequences of putting so much education into so little time is that we must cut corners. This is one of them: I have not equipped you with enough knowledge to provide formal depth to your training. Friend Shinji...please accept this for now, that the Hebrew tongue is simply the easiest tongue for us to work in." He accepted the explanation without further inquiry. From his sword bag, Shinji brought forth the shinai and passed them to Rei and Kaworu. They took their places roughly 120 degrees apart from each other. Each drew and placed right foot before left. "If we can say more than four syllables in one second," Nagisa Kaworu said nervously, "I think that we can finish before the midnight hour. Rei, my beloved? Shinji, my friend? Are you ready to begin?" "Yes," Ayanami Rei replied. "Yes," Ikari Shinji replied. "So we begin." In unison, all three stepped and swung their swords, from above, from the side; they drove forward, and drew back; all in time with hymn, prayer, invocation, chant that led from Kaworu's lips: "Alpha, Omega, Har Megiddon, Alpha, Omega, Har Megiddon, Man in White Linen, the Book of Registration, rise up for end days. "Alpha, Omega, Har Megiddon, Alpha, Omega, Har Megiddon, day of my conception, Ein Sof emanation, written in Domesday. "Ishmael and Hagar through the desert run, Patmos looked upon golden Jerusalem, Joshua held up the course of the moon and sun, angels all afire guard the gates of Eden, "Darkness over Sodom, darkness' burning column, darkness on the landscape, darkness never ending, "Alpha, Omega, Har Megiddon, Alpha, Omega, unsealed Darkness, Vehuiah, Ieliel, Sitael, Elemiah, Lelahel, Mahasiah, Aehaiah, Cahethel, Haziel, Hahiah, Aladiah, Ieiazel, Mebahel, Hariel, Leviah, Lauiah, Caliel, Leuuiah, Nelchael, Melahel, Hakamiah, Pahaliah, Ieiaiel, Hahuiah, Nithhaiah, Haaiah, Ierathel, Seehiah, Rochel, Reiiel, Omael, Lecabel, Iehuiah, Monadel, Vasariah, Lehahiah, Chavakiah, Aniel, Rehael, Haamiah, Hahahel, Michael, Ielahiah, Ariel,Ihiazel, Vevaliah, Sealiah, Asaliah, Mihael, Vehuel, Daniel,Hahaziah, Imamiah, Nanael, Mebahiah, Nithael, Poiel, Nemamaih, Ieilael, Harahel, Mizrael,Umbael, Annauel, Mehekiel, Damabiah, Iahhel, Meniel, Eiael, Iibamiah, Mumiah, Habuiah, Haiaiel, Aaya Aayi Aayu Aaye Aayo Aiya Aiyi Aiyu Aiye Aiyo Auya Auyi Auyu Auye Auyo Aeya Aeyi Aeyu Aeye Aeyo Aoya Aoyi Aoyu Aoye Aoyo Aaha Aahi Aahu Aahe Aaho..." Hours followed hours. Syllables rolled by as the weather changed, and explosive rain fell from the sky. Stepping round the circle, Shinji marked the time with his moaning, droning poem as he chanted line on line. Fire within his muscles fueled the fire within his words, 'til the sounds spun into shapes that sprouted wings and flew like birds. The seraphim flew lyrically, combusting sacred joy. Then a creature born of mud and mind rose up before the boy. It stood no less than three meters tall, and at first glance seemed to be vegetable: rows and rows of crimson rose petals, the color of living flame, were scalloped one across the other. It towered over him in a shape like a hexagon, with two sides longer than the other four. At the northern apex of the circle, Ikari Shinji froze in apprehension. To his left and right, Nagisa Kaworu and Ayanami Rei froze as well. "Shinji?" Rei said. "What's the matter? Why have you stopped?" "Can't you see it?" Shinji replied. "It's our creation..." And there was no fear, only awe, in his voice. And as he spoke the words, it moved: arms and legs broke free of the body mass. It was animate. Not quite animal, vegetable, or mineral, it stiffly stretched its limbs into its new world...for it was alive. "Shinji, there's nothing there." For the first time since they had met each other, Kaworu sounded anxious. He held his shinai in his right hand and stepped towards the boy. "You're not--" "Don't touch him!" Rei said in as loud a voice as ever she had spoken. "Don't touch him! You might hurt him!" Reluctantly, Kaworu drew back his arm. But Shinji held no fear. As Kaworu and Rei grew afraid and small, Shinji stepped forward into the circumference of their circle and announced, "That is my father." Kaworu barely had the presence of mind to say, "Shinji, open your eyes. There is NOTHING in front of you." "It _is_," he said in a louder voice, and he reached his hand palm up towards the golem. It felt to him as though he had two mouths, one of which had never broken the meter of the chant even as the other prophesied. "I understand, Kaworu. As we draw closer to God, the Material World--Life's Creation, Inochi no Bara, the Living Rose-- becomes weak. And my father--Gen Dou, the Original Way, the way of memory that is in conflict with the way of the living, of the future--my father grows strong. Has he come to fetch me? Has he come to destroy me?" His voice had risen to a shout. Kaworu and Rei had met at the southern apex of the circle and were clasping hands, their bodies shaking with fear. Shinji thrust his hand towards the golem. "Chichiue, show yourself to me!" he commanded. At once, a gust of night wind tore open the closed door to the greenhouse, bringing it with it the megaton rain. The delicate white flower petals were stripped from every plant in the greenhouse. In that same gust, the red flower petals were torn free as well. Stripped of its illusionary armor, the golem was visible to all three. It took the form of dark earth, shaped into a muscular male body. Arms, legs, hands, feet, nose, ears, even genitalia were present; and long tresses of platinum hair, metallic white, streamed and swayed as the wind rushed along its scalp. But the golem's eyes were sealed shut, and had no mouth at all. The only sign on its face to show that it was alive was a sigil embossed upon the creature's forehead. Golden, it throbbed to the pulse of a titanic unseen heart. And the sigil read: IKARI. HATRED It stood feet apart and raised its arms to the very ceiling of the greenhouse. "I can see it!" Rei screamed in terror. "I can see it, it's right there in front of me!" Arm in arm, she and Kaworu fell to their knees. Shinji, fearless, approached the golem. "Father, I understand your pain. I know well the pain of wanting what you are forever separated from. But Rei--the soul of this world I live in--has shown me, simply by being herself, what it is that separates you and I." He leaped up and seized the golem's head, putting his fingertips on its temples and his thumbs up against the sigil. Suddenly helpless, the creature bent double as gravity brought Shinji back once again to the Earth. There were three parts to the word "Ikari". One read "Woman", one read "Again", and one read "Heart". The young man put his right hand thumb on "Mata", the second one, and said, "Because I do not do the same thing again and again, I have earned the love of a woman. My sister. But you, father--by virtue of what nameless sin you have committed--are now forever separated from your wife, and condemned to try over and over to win her favors back. You have lost your heart and soul in the process." He struck away the third particle, "Kokoro", leaving behind two fragments that together read: DO. SLAVE Instantly, the golem shrunk. Still dark-skinned, it took on Shinji's softer features and body language. He stepped back from the homunculus; it also stepped away. He raised a hand, and his doppelganger followed suit. "Father," Ikari Shinji said, "I forgive you for all the pain you have caused me. I understand you now; and to continue to be angry would be a selfish waste of energy. But please...I have put so much energy into my activities today, I can do almost nothing more. Go now, but go in peace." He collapsed. The mud creature, already starting to dry, fell backwards and broke apart into clods and dust. As Nagisa Kaworu and Ayanami Rei struggled to breathe again, and wiped their tears of fear from their faces, the wind ebbed and died. Gently as the ebb tide, the smell of roses petered down from upon high: onto the children, their creation, and the dead and dying rose plants. Outside, no birds sang in the darkness of the night.