From: Jim Lazar [EVA][Fanfic][Lime] Garden of EVA 0:3 - Kaji Bites Misato! ======================================================================= Garden of EVA 0:3 - Kaji Bites Misato! Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission Garden of EVA series created, written, and Copyright 1998 by Jim Lazar A biting series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion ======================================================================= Short general warning: This fanfic contains spoilers, sex, bad language, 14-year-old hormones, naked people, and various warnings. You have been warned. ======================================================================= "Give me a thousand on black and red," a boy said to Takma before class started. He handed over a thousand yen bill. "Okay, which is black?" Takma replied and entered the bet into his palmtop. "Um....Misato is black, Rei's red." "You're all set." Later in class, the three stooges were huddled in together. "So what color today?" Touji asked. "I don't know. I didn't see them today. Maybe at lunch she'll flash me," Shinji replied. "Oh no, looks like the new girl doesn't like Shinji anymore," Touji quipped. "Guess it wasn't meant to be. Sorry, Shinji," Kensuke added sadly, patting Shinji on the back. "Don't worry, I'll see them today," Shinji insisted, glancing at Rei. Rei just continued looking forward. Misato stood at the front of the class and finished her lecture, then asked, "Okay, can anyone tell me the biggest change in humanity since Second Impact?" No one volunteered, so Misato scanned the room and picked someone. "Shinji?" "Um...the human population decreased?" Shinji replied uncertainly. "Yes, no kidding. By about three billion people, but what was the impact on human society?" Misato asked, sitting down at her desk. "Alright! Black!" a boy exclaimed from the back of the room. Misato bit back a smile. she thought. "Well, it's less crowded," Shinji offered. "Meaning?" "Less drain of resources?" "Very good. This event also brought all the world's people together to rebuild after the devastation of the Second Impact. Now, since you were all born after Second Impact, you might not realize this, but the world was..." Misato stopped, as Rei's hand went up. "Yes, Rei?" "May I be excused?" Rei asked, looking troubled. "Of course." Rei stood up and left the room. -E- -V- -A- "Hey, what's the matter?" "Nothing." "You left class sort of fast." "What do you care? You just like to look at my panties." "Yes, but you're more than a pair of panties to me." "Pervert." "Tomboy!" Shinji stared at the television screen and muttered to himself, "This 'Shin Seiki Ranma' show sure seems familiar somehow." "Shinji! Take your bath, the water should be hot by now," Yui called out. "Okay, Mom," Shinji replied, then watched the end of the show anyway. Akane smashed Ranma with an asteroid. "Ouch," Shinji said, feeling sorry for the poor guy. At the same time, though, he envied him, too. That Akane had quite a rack on her. He never understood the flat-chested jokes in that show since she was pretty well built in his opinion. -E- -V- -A- Shinji stared up at the ceiling and soaked in the hot bath. "I wonder why Rei didn't flash me today? She's shown me her panties every day since she started school," he muttered. "But not for the last few days! Damn!" Shinji exclaimed. "I wonder why Rei left class today? Hmmmm, probably just her time of the month." He returned to his meditation, "Rei, Asuka, Misato, Ami, Akane, Hanaki, or Yukiko today?" He pondered on his choices, then pictured Rei naked. "Ahhhh, such a naughty girl." After his meditation was finished, he made sure to drain, clean, and then re-fill the tub. -E- -V- -A- The next day during lunch, Shinji approached Rei. "Hi, Rei. What's up?" Rei looked up and smiled. "Hi, Shinji. You are at the moment." "Huh?" Shinji replied, confused. Rei smiled, then asked, "So ready for the game tonight? I'm going to play without any of the cheats. Should be a good match." "Well, it's been more fun playing Eva with you since you stopped dismembering me," Shinji said. Rei smiled. "Well, I can only get off on chopping you to tiny pieces for so long. I'll just have to find some more interesting ways to have fun," Rei said and winked. She got up and made her way indoors for the afternoon classes. Totally missing Rei's meaning, Shinji cursed silently, "Damn, she didn't even show me her thigh." -E- -V- -A- "Unit 01, Angel at eleven o'clock." "But it's only seven o'clock," Shinji quipped. The computer controlled voice didn't find Shinji's joke funny, so the AI program inserted ten Angels around Shinji's Unit 01. It didn't take long for his Eva to be reduced to a pile of scrap metal and flesh. Shinji waited for the few seconds it took for the Eva to regenerate and return to the game. He was then attacked by the same ten Angels that had just destroyed him. "Damn! No fucking way!" he screamed. He quickly reached behind his game chair and pulled the self-destruct switch. His Eva exploded and took the ten Angels with him, along with half the paying field. He waited another few seconds for his Eva to regenerate once again. "Damn it...ten Angels at once is no fucking fair." Shinji sighed as he saw his score take a plunge as the self-destruct penalty was subtracted. What was worse, the stupid AI command staff seemed to be laughing at him. "Hey, Shinji...don't make jokes like that to the AI command staff. The Eva program has some interesting responses to jokes like that," Rei said, while trying to deal with a huge ring like Angel that had appeared above her. Rei thought to herself. Her entry pod shook as the Angel lanced her Eva with a piece of the ring. Rei thought. Suddenly, Rei was released from the Angel's hold. "Huh?" she gasped, then looked around and saw that Shinji had cut the tendril that had speared her. Rei smiled, this guy was actually one of the better Eva pilots she had played with. "Thanks, Shinji. If we attack this Angel with our progressive knives at the same time I think we can take it out." "No problem, Rei!" Shinji replied. Rei was thankful that she didn't have to sacrifice her Eva to destroy the Angel like Shinji had just had to. Rei helped Shinji chop the Angel into tiny pieces. Asuka was running and jumping all over the torn up battlefield, chopping every Angel she saw with the two progressive swords she had appropriated from some sort of mutant-ninja-turtle Angel. "Ha! Take that! And That!" Touji and Hikari were missing for most of the game. They were off in a dark corner experimenting with the 'sex cheat' that Rei had told them about. Turns out the Eva's were anatomically correct without their armor on after all. "Damn, Touji. If only you were this good for real!" Hikari commented over their private intercom channel. The sight of the male Eva on top of her female Eva was quite...stimulating. "What do you mean? If you'd let me go further than just your breasts, you'd see what a stallion I am!" Touji insisted. He maneuvered his Eva over on top of Hikari's and began rocking back and forth. Kensuke spent a lot of time trying to fight off a small humanoid Angel. It had taken control of an unmanned EVA unit and was using it to keep Kensuke from getting close to him. Kensuke used his Eva Unit 10's progressive arm blades to slash at the possessed Eva Unit 16, but the built in progressive armor plates of that Unit had deflected all of Kensuke's swings. Kensuke was very worried; he'd never fought this Angel or this Eva Unit before. He was about to call for help from the others when he noticed the flaw in this Eva. Each Eva and Angel had at least one flaw or weakness that could be exploited. He grinned and then charged the possessed Eva. Instead of attacking he slid his Eva between the legs of his enemy. He thrust his progressive arm blades up and sliced the groin of the Eva. Since the progressive armor plates did not cover that area he was able to slice into the Eva's body. A certain part of the Eva's anatomy fell to the ground and wiggled for a bit before exploding. The possessed Unit 16 howled in rage then collapsed to the ground and held it's bloody groin. It then self-destructed to put itself out of it's misery. Kensuke smiled, then commented, "Must have been a male Eva." He ran after the little floating Angel. With a flying leap, he managed to grab it and squeezed hard. It's head popped off with a squishy sucking sound and he had his Eva swallow the head. "Yum," he said, looking around for his next meal. After the ten minute game time was up, the gang crawled out of their entry pods and made their way to the food court for their usual post mission junk-food-a-thon. Rei was scarfing down a large hot dog. "Nice technique, Rei. Try that on Shinji yet?" Touji asked. Rei blushed. Hikari hit Touji over the head with her bag. "Pervert! Don't make vile comments like that!" she screamed. Touji rubbed his head, realizing that he'd just screwed up with Hikari again. Time for more roses and groveling. "Yes! I'm back at number one!" Asuka screamed after examining the scorecards closely. "Well, you were like a demon possessed out there, Asuka," Kensuke mentioned. He barely looked up from the thick Eva manual he was examining. It was turned to the Eva Unit 16 specification page. he thought. "Congratulations, Asuka," Rei said. "Thanks, Rei. Where did that ring Angel come from anyway?" Asuka asked. "I don't know. It wasn't in the original Eva program. They might have added it recently," Rei said, then smiled at Shinji and added, "Thanks for your help, Shinji." "No problem, Rei. See...it's more fun to fight by my side than to cut me into little pieces," Shinji said. "Not really, but thanks anyway," Rei said. Shinji stuck his tongue out at Rei. Kensuke finished his examination of the specs for Unit 16 and commented, "The programmer of the Eva game must be one sick puppy to put Unit 16's weakness in it's groin." Rei smirked, then said, "Yes, she is an...interesting person." Kensuke gasped. "You know her? It'd be great to meet her! This game is just so cool!" he exclaimed. "Umm...yeah. Maybe I'll see if I can get her to meet you guys sometime," Rei offered. she worried inwardly. "Cool!" Kensuke exclaimed, then dropped the thick Eva manual on his foot. "Ouch! Damn, why does this thing have to be so god damned big?" he asked, picking up the centimeter think manual. Rei sighed. She was effectively motherless for the years that it took her mother to develop the Eva game. The only good thing about the game is that it has brought her closer to her friends. she let her thoughts trail off. -E- -V- -A- Shinji and Rei were walking home through a nice park after the game. "You really don't need to walk me home," Rei said, although inwardly she was glad he was. "Well, it's later than normal, so..." Shinji trailed off as he saw a familiar car parked in a dark corner. "Hey, that's Misato's car!" "Geez, do all you boys always get an erection when you think about Ms. Kastsuragi?" Rei commented, glancing down at Shinji's pants. Shinji covered his lower regions, blushed, then said, "Well, she's just so fucking hot!" "Well, I guess you're right. Someone is fucking her right now....look," Rei said, pointing at the car. Misato was laying in the back seat and a man was bumping and grinding on top of her. "Damn!" "Guess that means you're out of the running, too bad." "No, I meant the windows are too steamed up and I can't see any details!" Shinji exclaimed softly, craning his neck to try to see Misato's naked body better. "Why are you guys so hung up on her anyway? She's just teasing you boys to keep you interested in class," Rei said. "No she isn't!" Shinji declared. "Last year she had affairs with half the boys in her class." "Yeah, right. How many this year?" Rei asked. "Well, some claims, but none confirmed yet..." "Thought so. You'll notice that the man humping her right now is not a student. He's pretty cute, actually. I wouldn't mind having him inside me," Rei said, trying to see more of the man. "Ah, he's nothing special." "Think you're bigger?" Shinji blushed, then snapped back, "Hey! Don't believe everything Asuka says! She's just a big liar!" "Prove it!" Rei shot back. Shinji recoiled, then leaned closer to Rei. "Don't think that I won't!" he replied. "Pull your pants down and prove it then," Rei said, sounding very serious. Shinji faltered, looked around the park, then stammered, "Um...you first." "Yeah, right. I have nothing to prove. You do." "Me and my mighty oak have nothing to prove," Shinji insisted. "Hmmm...me thinks that Shinji is hiding a little twig in his pants after all," Rei said, smiling. She turned her back to Shinji and looked into the car again. "Damn, with the size of that thing, she's going to be sore tomorrow...not that I wouldn't mind being sore like that." Rei started to turn around. "Hey, Shinji?" Shinji glanced around the park once more, then pulled his pants and underwear down. "There....see? A mighty oak!" Rei finished turning around and blushed at the sight. "Damn. Didn't think you had it in you, Shin-boy." "Shinji! What the hell are you doing out there!" Shinji fell backwards onto his bare ass. He scrambled to pull his pants back up as Misato stared at him from the open window in her car. "It's not what you think! Rei dared me!" "I was just minding my business and this pervert pulled his pants down. I think he's hot for you Ms. Kastsuragi," Rei said, enjoying watching seeing Shinji squirm into his pants. "Well, of course he is!" Misato said, smiling. "But me and Mr. Kaji would like our privacy right now. You two horny kids go somewhere else and fuck each other instead of jerking off while I get mine!" She poked her head back in and closed the window. "Kaji...don't bite so hard...the kids will freak if I have any marks tomorrow." Shinji finished zipping up his pants, leaving a piece of underwear sticking out of the fly and made a hasty retreat. He was followed calmly by Rei. "Damn, I don't believe I let you talk me into that. Now she's going to move me to a different class!" Shinji mumbled as they walked through the park. "Don't worry. I doubt that she'll want to make an issue about it. After all, she was shagging that guy in a public park," Rei said, patting Shinji on the back. "Well, at least I got a good look at her boobs when she poked her head out the window," Shinji said, smiling at the memory. Rei shook her head. "You guys are just a walking bunch of hormones, aren't ya?" she asked. "You're one to talk...always teasing me with your panties and then cutting me off like that," Shinji said, angrily. "Well, you didn't have to keep telling everyone else about it!" Rei insisted. Shinji grinned, although it looked more like a leer. "Well, they need the info for the betting pool." "Oh, for such a noble cause, please take a peek," Rei said, gesturing to her dress. Shinji grinned, moved to grab the hem of Rei's dress and started to pull it up. He was quickly punched into the ground by Rei. "Hey! You told me to do it!" Shinji insisted. "Those hormones you guys have must really lower your IQs. I was kidding, I'm hardly going to show you my panties if you keep telling everyone," Rei said. "Fine, I won't tell them then," Shinji promised. Rei stopped and examined him briefly. "Trust raging hormone-boy? I don't think so," Rei said, then approached her apartment building. "Hey! I'm an honest guy! I never once said I saw your panties when you didn't show them to me!" Shinji said, as if that was a noble thing. Rei chuckled. Without turning around she opened her door, then said, "Asuka's wrong, by the way. It's actually pretty nice." She closed the door behind her. Shinji looked at the door for several moments, then as his ego (among other things) expanded in size, he puffed out his chest (among other things). "Ha! Of course it is!" he said, then turned and headed for home. No question who he was going to 'meditate' with tonight. [End - Garden of EVA 0:3 - Kaji Bites Misato!] ======================================================================= Neon Genesis Evangelion Virtual Reality Experience Simulator (VRES) Evangelion Unit Data Eva Unit 16 - Production Model Color: Orange Design date: March 22, 2015 Eye configuration: Eight (360 degree view when used with Type-II entry plugs) Armor: Quad-polymer titanium (55 metric tons) Built-in weapons: (2) Progressive knifes in shoulder holsters Usable weapons: All type 1, 2, 3, and 4 manual weapons AT field generator power: 135x2 Response time delay: 31 milliseconds Power supply: 600 seconds run time, average usage Special equipment: Progressive armor plates cover 78% of EVA surface to protect against progressive blade weapons and AT blades ======================================================================= Email me at: mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net with comments, criticisms, or if you want to join my pre-reader list. http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime Author's notes/ramblings: How's that for FAN SERVICE? To bad you can't see it for real. Have you figured out my theme for the names for each part yet? The 'progressive arm blades' of Eva Unit 10 are sort of like the Guyver's curved blades. I'm not sure the specs from part 2 made that clear. I'd like to thank various FFML members and my pre-readers: Mark Eymer, Nlson31, Ryan Erik, Jonathan Ng, and Anthony Pardilla. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched characters are my fault. Revision 0.0 - Rough draft (July 18, 1998) Revision 0.1 - Pre-reader draft (July 28, 1998) Revision 0.2 - FFML draft (August 1, 1998) Revision 1.0 - First RAAC posting (August 11, 1998)