From: Jim Lazar <jimlazar@earthlink.net>

[EVA][Fanfic][Lime] Garden of EVA 0:6 - EVA Bites EVA!
=======================================================================
Garden of EVA 0:6 - EVA Bites EVA!

Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright
by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission

Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998 by Jim Lazar

A biting series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion

<Speech text in angle brackets is thought by character.>
"Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese."

E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net

Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at:
http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
=======================================================================
Short general warning: This fanfic contains spoilers, sex, various
sexual organs, bad language, 14-year-old hormones (actually... hormones
from a wide range of age groups), naked people, and various silly
warnings. You have been warned, repeatedly, and I really wish you'd get
it through your heads that this is a naughty fanfic! How many times do I
have to warn you anyway?
=======================================================================
Just a reminder: Garden of EVA takes place within episode 26 of the
original Neon Genesis Evangelion TV series. The events and continuity of
the Eva movies are not part of the Garden of EVA 'universe'.
=======================================================================

     The red Eva Unit 02 bit into the neck of the purple EVA Unit 01.
Blood spurted everywhere as Asuka gorged on her hated enemy. After the
Eva was rendered immobile, Asuka used her progressive knife to slice the
head of the purple Eva off. Just to make sure it was dead, mind you.

     "Ha! That'll teach you to grab my ass, you little bastard!" Asuka
called out. She pivoted her Eva out of the way just in time to avoid
being hit by an Angel that had been thrown at her by another Eva. "You
jackass!!"

     The thrown Angel impacted against the side of a building and
exploded in a gush of dark red blood.

     Asuka's Eva did a roll to the side and came up holding a large
rifle that had been lying on the ground. She sent a stream of bullets at
the Eva that had flung the Angel at her. The Eva withstood the volley of
bullets and used its jump jets to leap to the top of a building in a
single bound. Its purple cape fluttered in the wind as it took up a
mocking posture, revealing a fancy pattern on it's chest that looked
like a large 'S'. Since her bullets weren't getting through the enemy's
AT field, and actually seemed to be bouncing off, Asuka toggled her
rifle to launch mortar shells and lobbed a steady stream of shells at
the base of the building.

     The enemy Eva couldn't respond fast enough and crashed to the
ground amid the rubble of the building it had been standing on.

     Asuka grinned, but her grin was cut short as an Eva came up behind
her and sliced her Eva in half vertically. "Fuck. No fair!" she
bellowed, as her screen showed the two halves of her Eva falling apart
into a bloody mess. What was worse, she saw that the Eva that fell from
the building was still intact.

     Hikari was having more luck with the swarm of Angels she was
hacking apart. She used her progressive sword to cut into the core of
one of the attacking Angels and before it could explode, she spun around
and flung the Angel at a group of Angels that were attacking Touji. The
damaged Angel crashed into the group and bowled them over.

     "Strike!" Hikari exclaimed. The ten Angels went up in smoke as the
ball-shaped Angel exploded.

     "Thanks, sugar-muffin!" Touji called over the intercom.

     "No problem, slick! You owe me for that one!" Hikari called back,
having her Eva Unit 05 wink at her boyfriend.

     "Anything you... Hikari! Enemy at four o'clock!" Touji screamed
out.

     "Darn!" Hikari exclaimed, then jumped backwards and held up her two
progressive swords. They impacted against the purple Eva that attacked
her, but didn't cause any damage. Hikari's Eva fell to the ground.

     The purple Eva grinned, then thrust its arm down and drove its
progressive knife all the way through the stomach of Hikari's  Eva.

     Hikari kicked her attacker savagely, then pulled her Eva off the
ground. Since the knife that stabbed her was still embedded in the
ground, she had to pry herself off the blade. Various organs were left
behind after she managed to stagger to her feet. She glanced at her
damage display. "Not good," she muttered. She glanced around the
battlefield; grinning as she saw three purple Eva's, including the one
who had just stabbed her, in close proximity to each other. She slapped
her armor release control.

     The armor on her Eva fell off and revealed the naked female body
underneath. The wound in her Eva's stomach could now be seen clearly and
was bleeding profusely. What might have been her Eva's stomach was
hanging out of the wound. She ran towards the two Evas. Then to draw the
third nearer, she switched her intercom to general broadcast. "Come and
get this fine piece of ass if you can, boys!" she called out.

     "Hikari, what are you doing!" Touji called out and started to move
his Eva towards her.

     Hikari switched to the private channel again. "Just taking a few of
the enemy with me."

     Touji stopped in his tracks. "Now I owe you big time!" he said,
just as the three Eva's surrounded Hikari's Eva.

     The attacking Eva's pawed at the naked flesh. Their sexual fantasy
was interrupted when Hikari's Eva self-destructed and incinerated a
large portion of the battlefield.

     Touji confirmed that two Eva's were destroyed in the explosion. He
followed the third's trajectory through its path across the sky and
chased it down. To avenge his girlfriend's death, he extended his
flexible arms and caught the Eva. He proceeded to repeatedly pound the
Eva against the side of a building. Finally the building collapsed and
crushed the Eva under it. Touji tried to pull his arms back, but they
were trapped. "God damn!" he screamed. The enemy Eva exploded and sent
Touji flying backwards.

      Touji tried to look down at the arms of his Eva and saw that he
didn't have them anymore. "Fuck, how can I fight without arms!" he
cursed. He was so busy looking at his bloody stumps that he missed
seeing the Angel that cut his Eva's head off.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     "Kensuke, enemy to your right," Rei calmly said.

     "Got it!"

     Rei twisted her Eva Unit 00 to the left and went after three purple
Eva's that were surrounding a single red Eva. The Eva's red armor fell
off and revealed the naked female body underneath. <What are you doing,
Hikari?> she thought.

     As she ran towards the group, she grabbed a rifle from an
ammunition building and took aim. Just before she squeezed the trigger,
she was blindsided by an Angel. "Damn, where the fuck did this one come
from," she swore as she double-checked her tactical display. <Invisible
on the display, huh? Clever trick, Mom.>

     The Angel drooled over her Eva's arm, causing the veins to mutate
into a plant like fungus and creep up towards the Eva's body.

     "Shit!" Rei frantically keyed in the command to sever her arm. She
then hopped backwards and raised the gun she was holding in her other
arm. She fired and the Angel was blasted backwards. Rei drew her
progressive knife, jumped on top of the Angel, and then took great joy
in gutting it. After slicing into the Angel's gut, she located the core
and drove the knife through it. The Angel's inhuman scream sent shivers
down Rei's spine. <I'll never forgive my mom for using my snoring for
the screams in this game. Even distorted, it makes me cringe.>
 
     Rei got up from the disemboweled Angel and looked to where she had
seen Hikari seconds earlier. Before she could do anything else, Hikari's
Eva exploded and Rei was thrown backwards by the force of the blast.
Unit 00 got back to its feet and Rei scanned for more enemies. She
glimpsed Shinji in his red Unit 01 across the battlefield just before
his two attackers sliced off his head. The two purple Evas started to
cut into the beheaded corpse's stomach and took turns chewing on the
flesh. <Going after his S2 engine for the extra power. Waste of time,
boys.> Rei started to go after the two cannibals, but then saw Kensuke's
situation.

        Kensuke's Eva was bleeding from multiple stab wounds and
grappling with two purple Evas. One of them aimed a long progressive
sword at Kensuke's neck. Before it could slice Kensuke's head off, Rei
landed a kick and knocked it out of the way.

     Taking advantage of the distraction, Kensuke used his Unit 10 to
bite the neck of the other attacking Eva. The Eva screamed in pain, but
was silenced when Kensuke bit again and this time managed to sever the
head. Kensuke grinned, but quickly checked to see how Rei was.

     Rei lay under the enemy Eva and held back the sword that was aimed
at her head. With only one arm, Rei couldn't get any leverage to throw
her attacker off of her. Her remaining arm started to bleed as the sword
cut into her flesh.

     Kensuke grabbed a gun from a nearby building and fired a volley at
Rei's attacker. It was hit dead on and it disintegrated into tiny pieces
of flesh and metal.

     "Thanks, Kensuke. Any more enemies?" Rei asked.

     "Um, two more are busy eating Shinji's remains. That's all I have
on the scope," Kensuke said, after checking his tactical display.

     "Okay, let's avenge Shinji's death!" Rei declared. <No way can
anyone else eat my Shinji!> she added to herself.

     "Right!"

     Moving in unison the two red Evas swung around to opposite sides
and advanced on the two remaining purple Evas. Rei grabbed a long
progressive sword off her last attacker on the way. It wasn't like he
would need it anymore.

     Rei calmly laid out her plan as the two battered red Evas lumbered
towards the two remaining purple units. "It'll be up to you after they
dismember me. Okay?" she asked after explaining her plan.

     "Okay." Kensuke picked up two fresh rifles and held one in each
hand. "For all my friends that have died, I shall kill you!" he screamed
and let the bullets fly.

     Rei smirked at his comment. <Kensuke really gets into on this game.
I wonder...> She let her thought trail off as she neared the enemy.

     The two purple units stopped trying to reach Shinji's S2 engine and
looked up at their attackers. They brought their own weapons to bear on
Kensuke's Eva just as Rei jumped them from behind.

     Rei quickly sliced one of the Evas in two and brought the sword
back to decapitate the other, but her swing was cut short as the
remaining Eva sliced off her last arm with a sweep of one of its
progressive arm blades. Rei winced in pain as she saw the arm fall,
followed by other parts of her Eva's anatomy before her controls went
dead. <What sickos! They didn't need to slice off the boobs on my Eva!!!
>

     Kensuke quickly finished the last purple Eva by blasting it with
his two rifles. "Ha! That's teach you to be more interested in a pair of
boobs than defeating your enemy!"

     Kensuke grinned as his displays went dead. He crawled out of his
entry plug and smiled at the gang. "Yes! Am I good or what!"

     Shinji was the first to high five him. "Nice going, Kensuke!!" 

     He was then slapped and hugged by the rest of his teammates. When
she hugged him, Rei confirmed that Kensuke did in fact get REALLY
excited when he played Eva.

     "Number one Eva team in Tokyo-3!" Touji exclaimed as the triumphant
gang walked out of the game area.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     "Okay, the purple 'Eva Maimers' lost to the red 'Dark Eva Knights',
so the 'Dark Eva Knights' will represent Tokyo-3 in the all-Japan
championship Eva matches!!" a woman declared from the front of the
briefing area. The spectators started cheering and clapping, except for
the losing team of course.

     Shinji and the gang congratulated themselves again.

     "No fair! We want a rematch!" a small geeky boy cried out. Asuka
noticed that he was the same little brat who had grabbed her ass before
the game started.

     "Nope! We won fair and square!" Rei replied.

     Asuka proudly stood up on a chair and yelled back, "If you'd have
been more interested in winning than in slicing off Rei's boobs, you
might have been able to win, buttholes!!"

     "Bitch!"

     That was all Asuka needed to set her off. She leapt at the geek and
kicked him in his groin. Shinji and Touji grabbed Asuka and kept her
from killing the boy. The boy was still clutching his groin in pain when
his friends dragged him away
 
     After the boys had left, Asuka smiled. "Little boys are so
troublesome."

     "Even with eight of them against us six we beat them!" Hikari
exclaimed proudly.

     "Well, the two drones they put on our team helped," Shinji inisted.

     "For the first thirty seconds before they were vaporized, you
mean," Touji remarked.

     "Yeah."

     "You guys are the greatest bunch of Eva pilots I've ever played
with! The idiots I played with down in Osaka-2 were more interesting in
scoring with me than playing the game," Rei said.

     Shinji gulped.

     "Well that last team were just a huge bunch of perverts. They must
play the sex cheat version all the time," Hikari said.

     "You sure used their perversion to beat them," Touji said, putting
his arm around Hikari.

     "Well, what do you expect from hormone driven thirteen-year-olds?"
Hikari quipped.

     Everyone chuckled as they picked up their winner's packages. "This
is going to be great! We get to play the best Eva pilots in Japan in the
championships!" Kensuke said as they left the game center. He pulled out
the small Eva trophy from his package and wiped a smudge off its shiny
surface.

     "Yup, but it's going to be rough. I know a couple of the other
teams and they won't be distracted by a couple of virtual reality
boobs," Rei mentioned.

     "What about real boobs?" Touji suggested. Hikari glared at him so
he quickly shut up.

     "Well, the 'Maidenly Eva Dykes' might be interested," Rei remarked,
grinning broadly. 

     Kensuke continued to look through his winner's package while they
walked to the food court to pig out on junk food. The disk with the
replay of the last match was in there, scoring sheets for the game, a
certificate listing them as the best Tokyo team of 2015, and information
on the championship matches in Osaka-2, including plane tickets and
hotel reservations. <This is going to be a great trip!>

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     After pigging out at the food court, the gang was walking home.
Hikari and Touji were actually holding hands, since Touji hadn't said
anything to piss of Hikari today... yet. Kensuke and Asuka were in the
middle, while Rei and Shinji brought up the rear.

     "Rei. Want to come over? My mom probably isn't home," Shinji
whispered to Rei.

     Rei smiled and whispered back, "That'd be great. I've been hoping
we could get together after the boat fiasco last week."

     "Great! We can watch TV or play a game." This stopped Rei in her
tracks. "What's wrong?" Shinji asked softly.

     "Nothing. It'd be fun to spend some time with you alone," Rei said.
She knew that they'd just end up fooling around in his bedroom, but a
part of her got excited at the prospect of doing something alone with
Shinji other than sex.

     "Great, we'll slip away from the gang then," Shinji replied.

     "Hey, Shinji?"

     Startled, Shinji looked forward. "Yes, Asuka?"

     "Your parents are out tonight, right?"

     "Um, yeah."

     "Great! Let's all go over to your place and celebrate our win!!"

     "Well..." Shinji trailed off and avoided looking at Rei.

     Touji and Kensuke started chanting, "PARTY! PARTY!"

     "Got something better to do?" Asuka asked, although she knew the
answer already. She knew that Shinji couldn't possibly have anything
better to do than spend time with her and the rest of the gang. <He's
such a boring little boy sometimes. I wish...> Her thought was cut off
when Shinji answered her.

     "No. I guess that'd be fine," Shinji reluctantly said. Cheers went
up from everyone except Rei and Shinji. Shinji glanced back at Rei and
mouthed 'sorry'.

    Rei just smiled weakly and shrugged her shoulders in resignation.
There was always tomorrow.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

    The party had only started an hour ago and the Ikari apartment was
already a mess. The gang was all kneeling, sitting, and laying around in
a rough circle. Empty pizza boxes, bags of chips, soda cans, and a bra
could be seen lying on the floor.

     "Still can't believe you could take off your bra without removing
your dress, Hikari," Touji muttered.

     "You just wanted to see my breasts," Hikari said, not saying
'again' in front of the gang.

     "Well, duh..."

     "Fine. Come on," Hikari instructed, grabbing her previously
discarded bra and pulling Touji out of the family room. The rest of the
gang all whistled and made catcalls.

     "I wonder if Hikari's finally going to let Touji into her panties?"
Asuka asked.

     "Well, according to Touji, he's already had her several times,"
Kensuke mentioned.

     "Not a chance, Hikari would have told me if she'd been deflowered.
We promised each other we'd tell each other when that happened," Asuka
said.

     "When did you lose yours?" Kensuke asked accidentally.

     Asuka jumped to her feet and glared menacingly at Kensuke.
"Affenschwanz!! I'll have you know I am as pure as the driven snow! My
virginal folds have not been touched by any man!" Asuka proclaimed her
purity at the top of her lungs. Kensuke was in the corner, cowering in
terror.

     "What about a woman?" Rei asked from behind her and then startled
to chuckle.

     Asuka blushed as she realized what she had just yelled out.

     "That was kind of mean, Kensuke," Shinji mentioned.

     "Err...it was an accident. Sometimes I forget that Asuka's a girl,"
Kensuke mumbled, blushing.

     "Just one of the guys, huh?" Rei quipped, chuckling.

     Kensuke was saved from being maimed by Asuka when Touji and Hikari
came back into the family room. Touji was smiling broadly.

     "How much did she show you?" Shinji asked Touji.

     "Shinji! I'd never discuss such things in public!" Touji insisted,
then sat down between Shinji and Kensuke. He quickly whispered,
"Everything." He winked at them.

     Shinji looked briefly at Rei, who was talking with Asuka and
Hikari. <Wish I could talk about Rei and me. Have to get her to tell me
why she's so afraid that the gang will find out about our relationship,>
he thought to himself. Then he started to wonder exactly what their
relationship was. <Girlfriend? She seems more interested in sex, than
being my girlfriend. Not that I'm complaining, but I'd like to think she
likes me for more than my mighty oak.>

     While Shinji was trying to figure out his life and pumping up his
ego (among other things), the others were trying to find a game to play.
"Spin the bottle?" Kensuke suggested, then blushed.

     "No, Poker... a man's game!" Touji insisted. <I'll turn it into
strip poker after a few hands,> he thought, chuckling to himself.

     "Well, how about strip poker?" Rei offered, saving Touji the
trouble of guiding the game in that direction.

     "Hmmmm, That's even better," Touji remarked, as if it never
occurred to him before. No one in the room was fooled.

     "Mein God! Shinji wouldn't last five seconds if he saw this
beautiful body!" Asuka insisted.

     "I doubt you have anything that I haven't seen," Shinji shot back
at Asuka.

     "Those smutty magazines you have aren't as good as the real thing."

     "You're right."

     Asuka had no comeback to Shinji's remark. <Has he seen a real naked
girl? Naw... Shin-boy doesn't have it in him,> she thought, trying to
read his expression.

     "Well, who's game?" Rei asked.

     Shinji and Touji agreed right away. Asuka and Hikari huddled
together. "Hikari, how are you at poker?" Asuka whispered.

     "Fair. My dad taught me during one of his attempts to spend some
'quality time' with his daughters."

     "Think we can get these boys buck-naked?"

     "Probably, if we work together," Hikari whispered, then winked.

     Asuka looked up at the gang and said, "Okay, but first one to make
any vile comments loses all their clothes at once."

     "That'll keep Touji quiet," Hikari commented, giggling. Everyone
except Touji joined in the laughter.

     "Um, I'm not sure about this," Kensuke said, looking shyly at the
ground.

     "Hey, Kensuke, don't worry about it! We're all friends here!" Asuka
insisted.

     "It's just an innocent game, Kensuke. Doesn't mean anything," Rei
said softly.

     Touji slapped his friend on the back. "Yeah! Be a man!"

     Not wanting to be left out, Kensuke finally agreed. The gang
started to set the rules for their little 'innocent' game of strip
poker.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Rei was naked. Asuka was naked. Shinji was naked. Misato was naked.
Misato?

     "So what is the horny little bastard doing to Rei now?" Asuka said,
walking across the theater floor towards the group.

     "Playing a game of strip poker with the gang," Misato informed
Asuka as the girl rejoined the group.

     "Really? I used to tease the boys back in Germany by playing it
with them. I always won." Asuka grinned broadly. "I tried to get Kaji to
play with me, but he always put me off." She frowned at the thought.
Misato quickly echoed the frown.

     "It's a very complicated game," Rei mentioned, perplexed.

     "Huh?"

     "The goal is to keep your clothes, but Touji seems to be enjoying
it every time he has to remove a piece."

     Asuka chuckled. "Well, Touji is what we like to call an
exhibitionist. The little pervert flashed me the first time we met."

     "Flashed?"

     "Pulled his pants down."

     "Oh," Rei said softly, paused a second then asked, "Why?"

     "Probably thought I'd get excited over seeing his dick."

     "Dick?"

     "Misato, you want to explain that to her?"

     "Nope, you're doing so well," Misato said, smiling.

     Asuka sighed. "That," she said, pointing at the item in question on
Shinji's body, who was standing naked in front of her.

     "Oh, the male reproductive organ. Is seeing a penis supposed to be
exciting?"

     "Men like to think it's god's gift to women."

     "How can something on a man be a gift to women?"

     "Misato?" Asuka pleaded.

     "Nope. You started this conversation, you can finish it," Misato
said, smirking.

     "Mind you, I am a virgin myself," Asuka said, briefly glancing at
Misato before continuing, "but when a man and a woman want to have a
baby they get together and..."

     "Oh, sexual reproduction. I know all about that."

     "WHAT! Have you and Shinji..." Asuka let her question trail off not
really wanting to know if they did.

     "No."

     "How do you know about it then?" Asuka asked, hoping that it didn't
involve Shinji's dad. That would be very... disturbing.

     "I've read all about it. It sounds like a.... pleasurable
experience."

     "Oh, it is," Misato murmured, lost in a memory. She didn't notice
Asuka's glare.

     "So why doesn't Shinji do it with us?"

     <That's the second time she's expressed interest in that, why?>
Asuka thought, then said, "Well, usually you do it with someone you
love."

     "What is love?"

     Asuka and Misato shook their heads sadly. This was going to take a
while, but it wasn't like they had anything better to do. Third Impact
had effectively put an end to the concept of time.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     After several hands of poker, Shinji and Touji had lost their socks
and shirt. Rei was down to her skirt, bra and panties. Hikari was just
missing her socks. Asuka was down to her bra and panties.

     "I don't think I like this game anymore," Asuka said, arms crossed
across her chest.

     "You're just saying that because you're losing," Touji said,
looking at the crappy cards he had in his hand.

     "You and Shinji are down to two pieces, just like I am!" Asuka
insisted.

     "Yes, but after the next piece we get to see those perky boobs of
yours," Touji said, smirking.

     "Vile comment!"

     Hikari shook her head sadly, she knew from the beginning that he
would eventually say something vile. It was only a matter of when.
"She's right, that was vile."

     "Damn, didn't sound vile to me."

     "It was, Touji. You know the rules," Rei said.

     Hikari looked over at Rei. <Does she want to see my guy naked?>

     Touji jumped to his feet whipped off his pants and underwear. He
started strutting around and making he-man poses. Everyone looked away
in various stages of embarrassment and disgust.

     Hikari put her head into her hands. "You don't have to be so happy
about it," she mumbled. <It's not like he hasn't flashed everyone here
at one time or another. Although Rei has never seen it,> she thought,
then glanced at Rei, who was just looking around casually. <Good, she's
not interested in my guy at least. Maybe I should fix her up with
someone? She looked a little lonely when we saw her alone in the park
last week.>

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Back in the theater, Asuka was sitting on the floor with her head
in her hands and sobbing gently.

     "So when two people love each other they fuck each other?" Rei
asked, trying to clarify what Asuka had told her.

     "That's one way to put it. Although you don't have to be in love to
have sex."

     "So what purpose does love serve then?"

     "Misato, you're the so-called ADULT here, why don't you explain
this to Rei?!" Asuka pleaded. 

     "But, Asuka, you're doing such a good job," Misato said, smiling
broadly.

     A thought struck Asuka and she grinned triumphantly. "I don't know,
Rei, I've never really been in love."

     "Oh. How about you, Misato?" Rei turned to the older woman.

     Misato's smile diminished. <Nice move, Asuka.> "Well, Rei. Love and
sex are different things, but when combined they allow two people to get
closer."

     "I see. So to get closer to Shinji, I should have sex with him."

     Asuka and Misato grimaced. "Well, usually it's better to get to
know a person first and find out your feelings before you have sex with
them," Misato explained.

     "And then have sex?"

     "Yes, if you feel you love the person," Misato said, hopping the
conversation would end soon.

     "I see," Rei said, looking downward. She thought for a few seconds,
then looked up at the other women. "So, when Shinji touched my breast
and got all flustered it was because he didn't love me?"

     "In his perfect world? He didn't get that flustered, he seemed to
enjoy it," Asuka mentioned. <The little pervert.>

     "No, in our old world."

     "He touched your breast! That pervert!" Asuka bellowed and whacked
Shinji on the back of his head, who was still standing naked in front of
her.

     "Ouch!" What did you do that for?" Shinji asked, coming out of his
trance and rubbing his head.

     "For molesting Rei!"

     "Huh? She's the one who put my hand on her breast when we took the
boat ride," Shinji explained, confused. "And it's not like I can do
anything during the poker game."

     "Not in your stupid fantasy world... in our old world!"

     "Wha... oh, that was just an accident," Shinji explained, then
blushed at the memory.

     Rei interrupted. "It was. He was delivering my new ID badge and
stumbled onto me after seeing me come out of the shower naked."

     "That sounds like Shinji."

     "Hey!" Shinji snapped.

     "Okay, go back to your little game, Shin-boy," Asuka said,
dismissing him.

     Shinji glared at Asuka, but then turned away from her and stared
off into space, returning to his contemplation of his so-called perfect
world.

     "Come to think of it... the touch of his hand on my breast was....
pleasurable," Rei said, recalling the memory from her second body. "Very
pleasurable."

     "Rei, you really have to get out more. You know... get a boyfriend
and loosen up," Asuka commented, forgetting about Third Impact for a
moment. Being able to forget about it, even briefly, gave her a brief
moment of happiness.

     Unfortunately, Rei brought her back to the reality of their
situation. "I believe Third Impact has removed the chance of me meeting
anyone new," she said softly. She cursed Gendou Ikari for making her his
puppet, but what choice did she have?

     Asuka and Misato frowned. "Good point."

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Asuka was covering her breasts and lap with her arms. The last two
hands had gone badly for her. Very badly. "How am I going to get out of
here naked!" she cried.

     Kensuke, still fully clothed, just sat and avoided looking in
Asuka's direction. He had already seen everything when Asuka had removed
her bra and panties anyway, but the gentleman in him insisted on looking
away now. Occasionally, when the fourteen-year-old boy in him took over,
he would glance at her.

     Hikari was sitting in her skirt, bra, and panties.

     Rei was down to her bra and panties. <Not bad, if she ever decides
to pursue Shinji, she'll give me a run for my money,> she thought,
appraising her competition.

     Shinji was sitting across from Asuka and couldn't pull his eyes
from her naked body. Not that he tried, mind you. <She's a natural
redhead after all,> was all his mind was able to consciously think. His
unconscious mind was busy sending hormones to various parts of his body.

     "If Shinji is done leering at me, can I get dressed?" Asuka asked,
blushing with embarrassment.

     "I'm not leering at you!" Shinji insisted, but didn't bother to
look away.

     <Damn, maybe I shouldn't have suggested this game. He's looking a
little too much at her. I'll have to get him alone soon,> Rei thought,
appraising Shinji's reaction. <Although, I can't blame him. She's got a
beautiful body.> 

     "Okay, that's enough guys. You've seen it all. Let's let her get
dressed now," Hikari said, trying to help her best friend out.

     "Well, she has to win a hand to get them back, doesn't she?" Touji
inquired. "I mean that's what I've been trying to do for the last nine
hands." He neglected to mention that he was discarding his good cards so
he could let the girls enjoy him in all his mighty majesty for as long
as possible.

     Hikari looked at her naked friend. "Sorry, Asuka, that is what we
agreed to at the beginning," she said, slipping in front of Asuka to
help hide her.

     "Okay, fine. Deal!" Asuka snapped.

     The cards were dealt. Asuka smiled as she saw the three kings in
her hand. She discarded the other two cards.

     Rei saw Asuka's reaction. <Not much of a poker face. Well, that's
why she's naked now. She appraised the other players and suspected that
Touji wouldn't be winning back any clothes in this hand. She looked at
her cards. A king and a pair of tens were her best cards. She discarded
the other two.

     The others all discarded two or three cards each, while Touji
discarded all five of his. Then the moment of truth came. Rei got
another ten, making three of a kind. She smiled.

     Asuka got a three and a five. No help.

     Touji got a pair of twos and actually smiled in triumph.

      The cards were laid down. Shinji had queen high and lost. He
slipped out of his pants, leaving him with just his shorts. Kensuke won
with a straight.
 
     "Damn, can we please deal again?" Asuka pleaded, holding her arms
across her breasts.

     "Ok, how about one more hand? The loser has to remove all his or
her clothes and kiss the winner," Rei suggested.

     "What about the two who are already naked?" Kensuke asked, taking
another look at Asuka.

     "How about this... we all write down an action on a piece of paper
and the loser has to pick one and do it," Hikari suggested.

     "Seems fair."

     "But they have to get naked first, no matter what," Touji insisted.

     Everyone agreed, some more reluctantly than others. The actions
were written up and placed in a bowl. The cards were dealt.

     Touji lost and Rei won. Touji reached over and picked an action.
"Walk home naked," he read. "Shit. I'll get arrested."

     "Not if you're careful. Have a nice night, Honey," Hikari said,
chuckling.

     "You wrote this one, Hikari?" Touji asked. Hikari just smiled.

     "I wonder if he'll make it home without getting arrested?" Kensuke
wondered, watching Touji make his way to the front door.

     "Well, I guess that's it. My parents will be home soon, we'd better
wrap this up."

     "One more hand," Rei insisted.

     "Okay, one more. Are you okay, Asuka?" Shinji asked.

     "Yes, just freakin' dandy. I've always wanted to sit around naked
with my friends," Asuka said, sarcastically. "Just deal."

     "You have nothing to be embarrassed about," Shinji commented,
taking a lingering look at Asuka.

     "You're spending WAY too much time with Touji, Shinji," Hikari
commented.

     Shinji just grunted and dealt the cards. Rei's face didn't betray
the awful hand she was dealt. Asuka's eyes lit up at the two aces and
two queens she received. The others had varied hands, but Rei couldn't
quite read their expressions. Rei discarded her three lowest cards and
ended up with a pair of jacks. Shinji and Kensuke both ended up with two
pairs, Hikari had three nines, and Asuka pulled another queen, making a
full house.

     Asuka was very happy when she saw that she won and looked around
for her clothes.

     "Shit," Rei muttered as she realized that she lost. She reached
behind her back, undid her bra, and let it fall off her chest. Then she
slipped her panties off.

     Kensuke now had to divide his attention between not looking at
Asuka and not looking at Rei.

     Shinji quickly turned over onto his stomach to avoid something from
peeking out of his shorts.

     "Okay, Wondergirl, pick an action so we can all get dressed."

     "Okay," Rei said, then reached into the bowl. "Kiss the winner."
She glanced over at Asuka.

     "Err, maybe you should pick another one," Asuka said, sliding back
a bit from Rei.

     "Rules are rules," Rei calmly said, then slid next to Asuka.

     "Really, Rei, you don't have to," Asuka said, waving her hands in
front of her.

     "Are you scared?" Rei said and started to slide away.

     Asuka fumed. Scared? Her? Never! It was just a girl. Wouldn't count
as her first kiss. Right? "You asked for it!" she screamed and slid over
to Rei. <She'll chicken out before I will.>

     Kensuke and Shinji just looked on amazed as Asuka neared Rei, who
had stopped backing away.

     "Asuka! You don't have too!" Hikari insisted, knowing that her
friend was just too headstrong for her own good.

     "Never let it be said that Asuka Langley Sohryu backs down from
anything!" Asuka declared, moving closer to Rei, who just remained in
position. Asuka knew that Rei would chicken out before their lips
touched, so she kept slowly advancing on Rei.

     The anticipation of the kiss made Shinji and Kensuke very, shall we
say, aroused?

     Rei finally just shrugged and leaned over and gave Asuka a short
kiss on the lips. Not a peck, but not an extended kiss either. Kensuke
suddenly developed a nosebleed. Shinji gasped in astonishment and
realized that he'd have to clean the floor mat he was laying on.

     After Rei drew back from Asuka, she calmly stood up and slowly
started to redress. Everyone else was speechless.

     After what seemed like an eternity, Asuka jumped up and ran to the
bathroom. Tears could be seen dripping from her eyes. Hikari grabbed her
and Asuka's clothes and ran after the naked girl. She looked around
briefly and glanced at Rei, who was still calmly dressing.

     "Um, I'll see you in school," Kensuke mumbled. He got up and made
his way quickly to the door.

     "Rei? I'm not sure you should have done that," Shinji said.

     Rei pulled her dress on and looked over at Shinji, who still hadn't
moved from his position on the floor. "Why? It was all part of the
game."

     "Well, I don't think Asuka likes women in that way."

     "Neither do I, I was just curious. I enjoying kissing you more,"
Rei said, then leaned over and gave Shinji a long kiss to prove it. "We
really have to get some time alone, Shinji. Shame to waste you on the
floor." She winked and made her exit.

     Shinji blushed and jumped to his feet, covered the spot on the
floor and ran to his room to get some clean underwear.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     In a park near his home, Touji looked up from behind a bush. Not
seeing anyone, he jumped up and made a mad dash towards his next hiding
place. He jumped over the high bush and crashed into a young couple who
was wearing the same thing he was. Nothing.

     "Oops... sorry," Touji gasped. Then his jaw dropped to the ground,
bored through the Earth, and emerged in the United States. "Mis...
saaa... tooo?"

     Misato looked up from underneath her boyfriend. "Touji? What...
err... why are you naked?"

     "I could ask you the same thing." Touji grinned and started to
drool onto Kaji's back.

     Misato drew Kaji on top of herself to hide her ample proportions
from Touji's view. Of course, Kaji was more than pleased to provide this
service. "Misato, would you care to introduce us?" he calmly asked.

     "Err... Kaji, this is one of my students, Touji Suzuhara."

     "First that Shinji kid and now this one. Do your students always
run around naked?"

     <Shinji? When did they see Shinji naked?> Touji thought, trying to
look around Kaji's back.

     "Not in school, they don't. Well... once last year the entire male
student body streaked through my classroom, but not this year. Touji,
please go someplace else. We'd... like to finish without an audience."

     "Um, sure, Misato. See you in school tomorrow," Touji said, getting
up and leaning over to get one last look at Misato.

     Before Touji disappeared into the night, Misato said, "And I'd
appreciate it if you didn't talk about this with anyone."

     "Sure." Touji made his way to the next group of bushes. <I'll have
to call Kensuke and Shinji as soon as I get home,> he thought, a big
grin appearing on his face.

     "Your students have a nasty habit of interrupting us."

     "Yes, and for some reason they always seem to be naked when they
do."

     "Well, what can you expect from horny fourteen-year olds?" Kaji
said, then slid back on top of Misato and resumed his interrupted
activity.


[End - Garden of EVA 0:6 - EVA Bites EVA!]
=======================================================================
Author's notes/ramblings:

Affenschwanz is German for fool, idiot, monkey-dick (at least according
to my German swear words web reference).

I'd like to thank various FFML members and my pre-readers: Arnold
Callwood, Anthony Pardilla, David Johnson, James Mackey, Lonewolf,
Zachary Mullone, Thomas Kinnen, Natsume Atsuko, Chris Jones, Addison
Godel, Rex Yu, Justin Baugh, Zachary Mullone, Jonathan Ng, and James
Grabowski. I'd also like to thank Knight Productions for a MST of Garden
of EVA 0:6 (my first MST). Every little bit of commentary helps make
these stories their best. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched
characters are my fault.


Revision 0.0 - Initial draft (August 19, 1998)
Revision 0.3 - Pre-reader draft (October 13, 1998)
Revision 0.4 - Second pre-reader draft (October 24, 1998)
Revision 0.5 - FFML draft (October 28, 1998)
Revision 1.0 - First RAAC posting (November 16, 1998)