From: Jim Lazar [EVA][Fanfic][VeryLime] Garden of EVA 0:9 - Love Bites! ======================================================================= Garden of EVA 0:9 - Love Bites! Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998-1999 by Jim Lazar A biting series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion "Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese." E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at: http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime ======================================================================= As soon as I come up with another cute and funny warning about all the sex, nudity, language, plot twists, and other general naughty stuff that is in this story, I'll put it here. This one may cross the Lime/Lemon line once or twice, but isn't fully lemon. Probably. ======================================================================= A few elements from the End of Evangelion movie are evident in this part, but nothing that should spoil your enjoyment (or revulsion) of the movie once you see it (if you haven't already). ======================================================================= "No! This can't be... I'm nothing like you!" Rei insisted, but deep down she felt the truth behind Ritsuko's words. Her grandmother, who Rei had thought was her adoptive mother, was always worried about appearances. No matter what Rei did, her grandmother had always scolded Rei about how it reflected on her family. She huffed and glared at the woman whom she once called a sister. Now she didn't know how to think of her birth mother, Ritsuko. "Unfortunately, you are all too much like me. I've tried to be a mother to you and keep you from making the same mistakes that I did, but you always resisted." Rei jumped to her feet and shouted. "How could you both lie to me for my whole life?! I hate you!" She ran from her room and down the hall. "Rei, wait!" "Bite me!" Rei called back. Ritsuko started to go after her, but then decided that there wasn't anything she could say right now that would help. The chance to make things right with her daughter had passed years ago when a then eight-year-old Rei asked who her real mother was. "I'm sorry, Rei. I should have told you back then. I only went along with my mom's plan because I love you." She slunk to her knees and started to cry. The front door slammed shut. -E- -V- -A- Asuka, who was dressed in a pretty dress with her face made up, stood in front of her apartment. She fidgeted and looked at her watch again. "Where is Shinji?" -E- -V- -A- At that moment, one Shinji was lying unconscious in a pile of garbage. In the theater, the other Shinji was staring vacantly into nothingness. He trembled as he saw his perfect world start to rot, like a pile of garbage left in the sun too long. Rei was at his side and held his hand to comfort him. Asuka was laughing her head off. -E- -V- -A- Rei rushed out of her apartment building and ran. It didn't matter where, she just ran. She stopped running when she heard a rotting pile of garbage groan, which garbage usually doesn't do in Tokyo-3. Well, maybe if it's left out in the sun too long down by the nuclear power plant. She looked into the pile and gasped. "Shinji?" She dug through the bags and helped Shinji out. "What were you doing in there?" Shinji stood up, rubbed his head, and brushed the garbage off his clothes. "I... sort of fell off your ledge when I heard your sister say she was your mother." "Oh, you heard that?" Rei asked, lowering her head awkwardly. Shinji nodded. "I don't know what to do... everything I know is a lie." Tears started to flow from her eyes again. "What's wrong with me?" "Nothing. This isn't your fault, no one chooses their parents. Trust me, I'd trade my father for a new one in a second. Ummm... I don't know what... err..." Shinji lost his train of thought after an impressive start. He looked nervously at her. "Damn, I'm no good at this stuff!" Rei smiled at Shinji's uneasiness and snuggled up to his arm. "That's okay, just hold me. That's all I need right now." Shinji wrapped his arm around Rei and they started walking through the streets without any real destination in mind. -E- -V- -A- Dawn. A simple word that is used to describe one of the most glorious events known to mankind. This particular dawn shone its light over the streets of Tokyo-3, casting long shadows across the ground. For some reason, the shadows seemed to look like naked women. In a small park, Shinji shielded his eyes from the sudden light that flared in his eyes. As his eyes adjusted to the glare, he looked down and saw Rei sleeping with her head in his lap. He smiled. To hear Touji talk, girls were only good for having sex with. Spending the night wandering the streets holding hands with Rei and just talking was more pleasurable that anything he had ever done or could imagine. They had stumbled across this small park and then cuddled together before sleep claimed them. Somehow, the thought of finding someplace to have sex hadn't even occurred to him last night. It was occurring to him at that moment because of the erection he had. He tried to ignore it as he remained still and gently stroked Rei's hair. "Morning," he said, when she finally stirred. Rei looked up at Shinji and smiled. "Good morning. Is that an erection in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Shinji laughed. "Both." Rei rose and gave Shinji a deep kiss. "So what do we do now?" "I don't know." "I'm not going back to my place." "I understand. Err... do you want to go to school?" "Not really, I don't even have my uniform," Rei said. Shinji suspected that her uniform wasn't only reason she didn't want to go to school. "Let's just find someplace to have breakfast and then see what happens." "Okay." -E- -V- -A- Misato sat on top of Kensuke's lap and bounced up and down. "Yeeeeeee ha! Ride 'em... cowboy!" she cried out between pants. Kensuke's face was strained as he watched Mistao's breasts bounce up and down. Misato screamed in ecstasy as she felt something fill her up. Misato screamed in terror and sat upright suddenly. She looked around and noticed she was in her apartment and lying in a pool of her own vomit. "When did I get home?" she muttered, and dragged herself to her bathroom, stripping off her clothes on the way. She slid the door open to the bathroom and then gasped as she saw Kensuke sitting in her tub. Misato lurched backwards and screamed in terror. "Oh, you're awake." Misato started at hearing the voice. She shook her head to clear it. After her eyes managed to focus, she saw it was Kaji in her tub. "Kaji? What the hell are you doing here?" "I came to see the most beautiful woman in the world, of course," Kaji said and stood up. In the theater, Asuka was trying to look around the Misato in the bathroom to get a look at the naked Kaji. "Dammit, get out of the way!" Not for the first time, she wished the viewpoint had multiple angles. "Oh, sit down and enjoy the show. If that Misato is anything like me, she'll be beating him up in no time!" Misato said from her nest of torn-up Kaji pictures. "Nope, they are going at it like squirrels in heat," Asuka mentioned. "What!" Misato screamed and raced over to look at the viewpoint that Asuka was watching. "They are not!" she screamed when she saw that Misato and Kaji were just standing close and talking. Well, Kaji was talking and Misato was screaming. "Made you look!" Misato glared at Asuka. "Damn, I should never have put you in Unit Two before Third Impact. Then I wouldn't have to put up with you now." Back in the bathroom, Kaji just grinned and smiled charmingly while Misato scolded him. When Misato finished her tirade, Kaji spoke. "I'm sorry, but I had to get you out of my house before Maya could find out that I really love only you. If I lose her father's support I can kiss the election goodbye." "Why didn't you ever tell me all this before?!" "Because I have to be careful. Ever since that scandal with that American President back before Second Impact, the public will forgive an affair while in office, but not before," Kaji explained, taking a step closer toward Misato. Misato had to think about Kaji's statement for a while before she thought she understood. "I guess that makes sense," she said softly, but was uncertain exactly why it made sense. Then she suddenly recalled some details of that affair. "But am I going to be your wife or the mistress with the bad fashion sense?" "You will be my wife, of course. Maya is only there for the political benefits. Once I'm in office, she's history." "Kaji, I never knew you were so devious," Misato commented, then closed the final gap between her and Kaji. She slipped into his waiting arms and leaned up for a kiss. He obliged her. Misato sat on the floor of the theater and sniffled. "I knew that Kaji really loved me," she said, wiping her eyes. Asuka glanced back at Misato's nest of torn-up Kaji pictures and smirked. "Yeah, I know you trusted him all along." Then she started to stare at the viewpoint as Misato and Kaji took advantage of their being naked and in the bathroom. "Hmmm, I guess Shinji is a little longer," she commented as she hit the freeze frame on the remote. "Told you so," Misato said, smiling at the happy couple enjoying their bath in front of her. Not that they were really taking a bath, mind you. "Hit slow motion, will ya?" Asuka gladly complied and then hit the record button as well. Purely for archival purposes, mind you. -E- -V- -A- Ritsuko wandered the streets looking for Rei. Her mascara was running from the tears she'd been shedding since Rei had run out the night before. -E- -V- -A- Asuka was standing in the Ikari apartment's entryway wearing her school uniform and holding her book bag. "So he didn't come home last night?" "No, I'm afraid not. My husband said he was going to look for him before work," Yui said, looking very worried. Asuka frowned. "I wonder where he is. It's not like him to stand me up." "Oh, are you two dating?" Asuka blushed. "Err... sort of. Last night would have been our first date. I hope he's okay." "How nice. Everyone says that you two would make a cute couple," Yui said, pulling Asuka into a hug. In the theater, Asuka smirked and looked over at Rei. "Ha!" Rei ignored the redhead. "Well, if he doesn't show up for school, I'll get the gang to look for him afterwards," Asuka said as she left the apartment. "Thank you, Dear. And welcome to the family," Yui said as the door closed. Asuka frowned. She walked towards school, trying to keep a lookout for Shinji on the way. -E- -V- -A- That afternoon, Shinji and Rei were sitting in a cafe, nursing a couple of bottomless cups of tea. The waitress strolled up. "Is there anything I can get you to eat... YET?" she asked, curtly. "Um... no thank you," Rei said quietly. After the waitress left, Shinji leaned over to Rei. "I don't think that waitress is going to let us stay too much longer. Maybe we should decide what to do now. " Rei sighed. "I know. I'm not going back to my place. Err... can I spend the night at your place?" Shinji gulped. "Well, err... my parents are home." Rei smiled knowingly. "I know. I just need someplace that I can think. You know, away from my sis... mother." Shinji blushed at realizing he had jumped to the wrong conclusion. "I guess I can tell my mom that you're having problems at home. She's pretty good about stuff like this." "That's the truth. I'm not even sure I know what a home is anymore," Rei commented. She slid out of the booth and stood up. Shinji put some coins down and took her hand as they walked out of the restaurant together. A while later they were headed towards Shinji's home when Rei glanced down a side street and noticed some neon signs in the distance. She stopped suddenly and grinned. Shinji looked back at Rei. "What's wrong?" "How much money do you have on you?" Rei asked. "A few thousand Yen, why?" "I think maybe... I like your original thought about tonight better," Rei said, smiling devilishly. She then pulled Shinji down the side street towards a row of hotels. "What?" Shinji asked, then realized where Rei was pulling him. "Err... a love hotel?" Rei blushed and nodded. "Is it okay?" Shinji gulped and nodded, causing Rei to smile broadly. "I think... that I..." Shinji was interrupted by a shrill voice from behind them. "Shinji! What the hell are you doing!" the voice cried out. Shinji tripped over a crack in the sidewalk when he recognized the voice. When he looked up from the ground, he saw Asuka running up to them. "Err... hi, Asuka." "Hi? Hi?! The gang and I have been looking all over for you, you piece of garbage!" Asuka shouted. "Why?" Shinji asked, wondering if Asuka smelled the garbage from last night. "Why?! You little dork! Your mom is worried sick about you not coming home last night and you skip school, apparently with Rei, and you ask why?" Asuka said, or screamed, in this case. "Damn, I should have called my mom. Asuka, I..." Shinji said, but Rei interrupted him. "Good afternoon, Asuka," Rei said calmly, not looking up from the sidewalk. Asuka wasn't sure how to respond to the calm greeting, so she just returned it. "Good afternoon, Rei. Err... Shinji can I talk to you?" She nodded her head away from Rei. "Err... sure." Shinji followed Asuka a short way down the street while Rei calmly waited. Keeping her voice down, Asuka leaned over to Shinji. "Why did you stand me up last night, you bastard?!" Shinji looked confused, but then he remembered their date. "Oh no! I'm sorry, Asuka!" "You will be! Standing me up and then sleeping with that dirty little lesbian!" Asuka ignored the fact that if Shinji did sleep with Rei, then she wouldn't be a lesbian. Bi maybe, but not a lesbian. "I didn't sleep with her!!" Shinji insisted, loudly. After blushing and looking around at the passing pedestrians, he spoke in a soft tone. "It's complicated. Rei found out last night that she wasn't really adopted and that the woman she thought was her sister, was really her mother." Asuka gasped and recoiled in shock. "That's terrible. No wonder she's so screwed up." Shinji wanted to correct her, but a part of him knew she was right. Rei did have some very serious problems. "I know, but WE are her friends, so I think we should try to make her feel better." "I don't know..." "Asuka, can you just please get over that stupid kiss? It didn't mean anything. She needs her friends now more than ever." "Well... okay. You'll just have to pay me back by taking me to some really great place for our makeup date." Asuka winked, turned around, and walked over to Rei. She didn't notice Shinji get very nervous at the mention of the date. Asuka slipped in beside Rei and wrapped her arm around the girl. "Shinji told me what happened. I'm sorry." She was a little amazed to find that she meant it. Despite her anger at Rei kissing her, Asuka did like Rei as a friend. Probably. Rei sniffled. "Thanks. I can't believe that my sister wo... err... my mother would do this to me." "Yeah, well, parents can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. Sometimes when my mom nags me over the stupidest things, I just want to strangle her." She then started listing examples. "Asuka, pickup your clothes. Asuka, put your books away. Asuka, stop mast... err... but you get the idea." She blushed before finishing. "Cheer up, kiddo, let's go find the gang. We'll just hang out and you can forget your troubles." "I don't know..." Rei glanced awkwardly at Shinji. Shinji was a little surprised at how caring Asuka sounded. "Come on, Rei, we're all your friends. Right, Asuka?" Asuka paused for a second, but then agreed. "Of course, let's go have some fun!" She grabbed Rei's hand and pulled her down the street. Shinji followed after adjusting something in his pants that had become noticeable. -E- -V- -A- "Unit 01, Angel at eight o'clock." "Ahhh, at least I have two hours to prepare for it then," Shinji remarked, just before the Angel sliced his Eva in half. "That sense of humor is never going to win us the championship, Shinji," Asuka said, while she sliced the legs and one other appendage off the anatomically correct Angel standing in front of her. "This was a good idea, Asuka," Shinji remarked, looking over at Rei while his Eva regenerated. She was using Unit 00 to hack apart a bunch of Angels that had taken on Ritsuko's appearance. "Yes, Rei seems to letting her anger out all right. How'd she get the Angels to change into the image of her mother anyway?" Asuka asked. She flinched when she saw Rei slice another Ritsuko in half, starting at the groin and slicing upwards. Shinji had just started to grapple with an enemy Eva drone when he responded. "I don't know, she's always seemed to know all the secrets of this game." He thrust upwards with his progressive knife and gutted his enemy, causing the multicolored guts to ooze out onto the ground. The battle went on. The gang worked on some team movements. Well except for Rei and Kensuke, who had other things on their mind. Rei was preoccupied with killing every Ritsuko on the battlefield, and doing a pretty thorough job of it, while Kensuke was off by himself playing the sex-cheat version of the game. "Kensuke, are you going to train for the championship or just keep screwing those female Angels?" Asuka asked, after spotting Kensuke on the edge of the battlefield. Kensuke's Unit 10 had its unit inserted into the female Angel and was rocking back and forth. He didn't reply to the question. "Damn, what's gotten into Kensuke?" Asuka asked the others. Without thinking, Touji responded. "Looks like he's the one who has gotten into... urk..." He suddenly went silent, realizing he'd almost said something vile and lost his bet with Hikari. Over in her entry plug, Hikari smiled. She switched to a private channel with Touji before speaking. "Close call there, Slick. You almost said something vile." "What and lose out on the prize?" Touji said, winking. Fortunately, Hikari couldn't see the wink. While Hikari was thinking if that was a vile comment or not, she sliced an enemy Eva's head off. "I guess that wasn't vile." "Damn, right it wasn't," Touji agreed, then suddenly yelled out. "Hikari, to your left!" Hikari looked quickly to her left, while jumping backwards. It was lucky she did, since the Angel that had leapt at her flashed through the air in front of her. Hikari managed to raise one of her progressive swords and sliced an arm off the gelatinous Angel. A sparkle appeared in her eye as she realized how to deal with this Angel. Her Eva jumped onto the Angel and bit into its neck. Touji dealt with an enemy Eva unit had blindsided him while he warned Hikari. He then looked over to his girlfriend. "Taste good?" "Not as good as you do," Hikari said, looking up from the Angel's stomach she was finishing devouring. "Ha! Vile comment!" Touji pointed out. "So? You're the one who can't say anything vile," Hikari reminded him. Touji frowned. "Oh, yeah... Hey! You haven't tasted me yet." Hikari chuckled. "You'd be surprised at how tasty your lips are." "I can't wait to taste your lips, hot stuff. Both sets." Hikari went silent and gasped. She was about to scold Touji, when she was gutted by an Angel. It ripped into her Eva's chest cavity and started ripping out various organs, rendered in vivid detail in the game display. Before her screens went dark, she saw Touji's Eva slice her killer into sushi. "Thanks, Touji, but I'm afraid you lost the bet with that last comment." For the rest of the game, Hikari and the others had to mute Touji's comm system to avoid hearing expletives that no human being should ever hear. -E- -V- -A- The gang stood waiting for Shinji to get off the phone. "I'm sorry, Mom. A friend needed my help last night and I forgot to call," Shinji said, and listened some more. "Yes." Another pause. "Yes." He glanced at his friends, then whispered into the phone. "I love you too, Mom." "Awww, Shinji loves his mommy!" Touji chided him. Shinji blushed and Rei trembled. "And what is wrong with that, Suzuhara?" Hikari said, pulling on Touji's ear. Touji gasped. "Owwwww... nothing. I'm sorry, Pumpkin." Hikari released his ear, which Touji promptly rubbed. "At least Shinji has a mother that didn't lie to him all his life," Rei softly commented. Everyone frowned. Before Shinji could comfort Rei, Asuka slid next to the trembling girl and put an arm around her. Shinji was a bit shocked at how nice Asuka was being to Rei, considering the way she normally acted towards people and Rei in particular. It was a side of her that he had never seen before and he kind of liked it. "Err... sorry, Rei. I didn't mean to bring up a painful subject," Touji said, still under Hikari's glare. Rei smiled slightly. "That's okay. I'm glad to have you all as my friends." She wiped a tear off her eyelid. "Group hug!" Hikari called out. Hikari, Asuka, and Shinji got into the hug right away. Kensuke and Touji glanced at each other and then joined the hug. As the hug continued, Asuka tensed when she felt a hand on her buttocks. At first she thought it was Rei's hand, but then noticed that she could see both of Rei's hands. She tried to decide if she should pound him or flirt with him. Deciding on the later, she winked and smiled at Shinji, who looked confused. Hikari hugged Rei, feeling sorry for her situation. She frowned when she felt a hand on her buttocks, under her skirt no less. She flinched when she felt him tug on the panties a bit. She shifted her position a bit to separate her from the hand. Kensuke tried not to let the enjoyment he was getting from feeling up Asuka and Hikari show on his face. His glasses had fogged up by the time the hug broke up, much to his chagrin. The gang walked down the street, slowly breaking up. Hikari and Touji were first to depart, either to their homes or to find someplace where Hikari could ream Touji a new one for losing the bet. Probably the later. Shinji and Kensuke walked behind the two girls, who were busy making girl talk. Shinji glanced over at Kensuke and was amazed to see that he was checking out the girl's butts. Of course, Shinji liked the view as well, but for Kensuke to do such a thing seemed very out of character for him. "Kensuke, did something happen to you?" Kensuke pushed his glasses back up his nose and looked at Shinji, trying to look casual. "Nope, not really. Why?" "Well, you've seemed so different over the past few days," Shinji remarked. Kensuke shrugged and turned his head away from Shinji. "Well, nothing you won't go through someday." Shinji stopped briefly, then caught up to Kensuke again. Shinji decided he had to do something, unconsciously making a choice between the two girls. "Um, I'd steer clear of Rei if I was you. I don't think she's in any shape to start a relationship." Kensuke let out a loud guffaw. "Don't worry, Shinji, it's not that. Just enjoying the view like any other man." Shinji took a step back, noticed that Asuka and Rei had stopped and were looking back at them. "Oh, of course. I guess I can't blame you, it is a nice view." Kensuke smiled and nodded. Kensuke separated from the group and headed home shortly after. The rest of the gang continued walking, each girl wishing the other would leave her alone with Shinji. Asuka was about to suggest Rei go home and talk things over with her mother, when a voice called out. "Shinji!" Shinji looked towards the source of the voice. "Oh, shit." He looked awkwardly at his friends as his father waved at him next to a row of vending machines. His boss, Professor Fuyutsuki, was with him. Although Shinji was never sure why he was called 'Professor'. "Um... hi, Dad." "Your mother just called me, Shinji. I understand you wanting to help a friend, but please call next time," Gendou said, placing a fatherly hand on his son's shoulder. "Err... yeah. Sorry about that," Shinji said, glancing nervously at his friends. "You know Asuka, right?" Gendou nodded. "Of course I know little Asuka! My, you've grown into quite a young woman." Asuka blushed. "I can remember when you and Shinji used to play and take baths together. You were such close friends." Asuka blushed deeper and looked awkwardly at Rei. She didn't dare look at Shinji, for fear of losing control completely. "Cut it out, Dad! You're embarrassing her" Shinji insisted. Gendou laughed and messed up Shinji's hair, in the way that every boy hates to have his father do. "So who is your other little friend?" Shinji glanced at Rei. "Um... this is Rei. She came to town a couple months ago." "Nice to meet you, Rei," Gendou said. He bowed slightly, which Rei returned. "Yeah, she's the reason we made it into the Eva championships!" Asuka said, patting Rei on the back. Rei looked embarrassed by the praise. "Ah! I knew Shinji couldn't get into the championship without some help." Gendou started to laugh. "Dad!" Shinji shouted. Then he tried to usher his friends away. "Let's go guys." "See you at home, Shinji," Gendou said, then started to work on the chicken soup dispenser machine with Fuyutsuki again. "Pass me a fourteen-B nozzle flange," Fuyutsuki instructed. "Yes, Professor," Gendou said. He pulled out a small tube from his toolkit and handed it to Fuyutsuki. Fuyutsuki stuck the tube in the dispenser, causing a stream of chicken soup to spurt out of the machine and cover his face with chicken bits. He scowled and looked closely at the tube. "Idiot! That was fourteen-F! Are you blind?!" He wiped his face off and then picked a beak out of his hair. Gendou started bowing profusely. "I'm sorry, Professor." He started rummaging through his toolkit again, pulled out another tube, and handed it to Fuyutsuki. The new tube looked identical to the previous one. Shinji had been trying to get Asuka and Rei to leave the area, but Asuka resisted. "Shinji?" Asuka asked, staring back at the two men. "Yes, Asuka?" "I thought your dad was a high-powered executive in a global recycling company," Asuka said. "Err... he is," Shinji insisted. Asuka raised her eyebrow. "Looks like he's a vending machine repairman to me." "Umm... well... he's just helping out today. Yeah, that's the ticket!" Shinji said, perking up at the end. Asuka smirked. "Yeah, right." She finally let Shinji pull her away from the vending machines, but not in time to miss hearing what his father said next. "Hey, Professor? Did I ever tell you about the time that Shinji wet the bed when Asuka came over for a sleepover?" he said, before the teenagers got out of earshot. Shinji blushed deeply and looked at the ground. "Shinji! You always claimed that *I* wet the bed that night!" Asuka glared at Shinji. "Err... well..." Shinji stammered. "Pisse-kopf! How dare you pass your piss off as mine!" Asuka snapped, and stomped off down the street. She was so angry that she forgot that she had wanted to get together alone with Shinji to discuss their missed date. Shinji watched her stomp away and sighed heavily. "I didn't know you had known Asuka for that long," Rei said, a touch of jealously in her voice. Shinji looked around awkwardly. "Um, yeah. We grew up together." "Oh. Do you love her or me more?" Rei asked. Shinji wasn't sure if Rei was being serious or not. "Um, well... until recently she never showed any sign of liking me like that. Um... I feel closer to you. I mean..." Shinji started to stammer, as he couldn't seem to force the words out. Rei placed a finger on his lips to silence him. "That's enough for now. Let's go." She pulled Shinji down the street. "Ummm, to where?" Shinji asked, nervously. "Where we were headed before Asuka found us earlier," Rei said, winking. Shinji gulped loudly, startling some passing nuns. Actually, they were probably startled more by the sight of the erection that was growing in his pants rather than his gulp. -E- -V- -A- Hikari glared at Touji. "Dummy! You were doing so good!" "I'm sorry... but you make me so horny! Especially the way you handle the joystick in the Eva entry plug!" Touji pleaded from his knees and apparently was making up for all the vile comments he hadn't been able to say in the past few days. Hikari shook her head sadly. "I guess you'll never change." "I can! I'm really a sweet guy at heart!" Hikari sighed. After several more minutes of groveling, Hikari knelt down in front of Touji, her buttocks resting on her heels. "You're forgiven, but it's going to be awhile now before you get to see those lips now." "Actually, I can see them right now... your panties have slipped," Touji commented without thinking. He did remember to drool, at least. Hikari snapped her legs shut and stood up from her squatted position. "Pervert! Who do you think pulled on them before anyway?!" She swatted him on the head then stormed off towards her home. A confused Touji starred at her retreating back. "What did I say now?" For once, he was innocent. -E- -V- -A- The bed was filled with naked flesh. Kaji rolled over on top of Misato and kissed her deeply. "I'm glad you suggested getting together again here after work. You are so much better in bed than Maya." "Oh, so you've had sex with her?" Misato said, then crossed her arms over her naked bosom and huffed. "Yes, but it's nothing like the love that we have, my sweet dumpling," Kaji said, giving her one of his most charming smiles. "Oh god, Kaji. Do me now... and always," Misato said, then started to nibble on his ear. She shuddered as she felt his body press closer against hers. A loud bang was heard as the hotel room door was kicked open and a short woman with short brown hair stormed in. "Kaji, you god-dammed mother-fucker!" Kaji looked back and gasped. "Maya! It's not what you think!!" "Oh, I supposed you just tripped and accidentally inserted your penis into that woman? The woman you said meant nothing to you? Who you said was stalking you?" Kaji put on his most charming smile. "Of course, she means nothing to me." "I might believe that if your dick wasn't still inside her!" Maya screamed. Kaji lost some of his usually charming demeanor and slid off, and out of, Misato. "But Maya!" He held out a hand for her. Of course, something else was reaching out to Maya as well. "Jackass! I wouldn't have cared if you wanted to have a hundred sluts on the side-" Maya said, causing Misato to scowl. "-but to do this so close to the election is just plain dangerous. If the press found out, you'd be finished! And I can guarantee you that my father won't be making any more speeches on your behalf. You'll be lucky if he doesn't publicly revoke his support after this." "Maya... Honey... can we talk about this? This marriage means so much to me!" Kaji exclaimed, causing Misato to scowl more. "Oh, I'll still marry you, you bastard! I want... no NEED the prestige of being the wife of Tokyo-3's mayor. Other than that, you are worthless to me with that little dick of yours!" Maya said. With an imagined cry of 'timber', Maya's words chopped Kaji's mighty pine down. Maya smiled at the sight of Kaji's penis going limp. "What? You thought I actually liked having sex with that little twig of yours? Get real." "Maya..." "Shut up. Give her a goodbye fuck now if you want to, but don't leave the hotel together. There are reporters who spend their days and nights looking for sleazy little trysts like these you know. You two can have your fun AFTER the election and our marriage, but until then, if I see that slut within sight of you again, I'll arrange an accident for her." She turned and stormed out of the room, leaving a bewildered Misato and a Kaji, who wasn't half the man he used to pretend he was. -E- -V- -A- In the theater, Misato was swearing and stomping around the theater. Asuka smirked. "Well, who would know that Shinji's version of Maya would be such a scheming and conniving bitch?" Misato paused in her rampage upon hearing this. "Oh, I never trusted Maya in our old world either... it's always the shy quiet types that steal your boyfriends." Asuka smiled and then quoted a statement made awhile ago by Misato. "It's not real, you know." "Shut up!" Misato snapped, then grabbed a handful of Maya pictures from the Xerox machine and began tearing them up. Asuka ignored Misato's latest rants and looked back at the viewpoint. "On top of that, she stole MY line about the twig! The little thief." "I believe you'd need a copyright lawyer to make your case," Rei informed Asuka. Asuka chuckled. "Well... that's about the only good thing about Third Impact: It killed all the lawyers." "Shakespeare would have appreciated that," Rei commented softly. "Why?" Asuka asked. "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers," Rei quoted. "Why? They're already dead," Asuka replied, confused. "No, that was a famous quote by William Shakespeare." "Geeze, that's ancient history!" Asuka said, brushing off her blunder. Misato stopped her cursing long enough to mutter a rhetorical question. "Damn that Kaji. Why can't he just be a simple repairman like Shinji's father?" Asuka giggled. "Kaji a repairman? Oh please, he's not suited for such a common job." "Maybe, but at least then my other self could be happy," Misato said, wistfully. Asuka looked at the viewpoint in front of her. "She looks happy. They are screwing their brains out." Misato laughed out loud. "Ha! Won't fool me again." Asuka smirked as she looked at the viewpoint again, which was showing that Misato and Kaji were engaged in a sex scene that would be banned in most countries. Then a thought struck her and she tapped Shinji on his shoulder. Shinji looked around and was startled to see it was Asuka. "Asuka? Why didn't you pull my penis like you normally do to get my attention?" "Ha! I knew you liked it!" Asuka gloated. Shinji blushed. "No... err... I was just surprised.... I mean... erk!!" His ramblings were interrupted when Asuka grabbed his penis. "Yeah, right. Anyway, did you give your father a demeaning job on purpose?" Asuka asked, then let go of the penis. "No, of course not," Shinji said, succinctly. He turned away, but smiled broadly as he returned to his trance. Asuka noticed his smile. "I knew it! Little Shinji wanted to get back at his father for all the crap he did." "That may be why his perfect world is starting to deteriorate," Rei mentioned. "Gee, you think so?" Asuka remarked, sarcastically. Asuka's tone of voice was lost on Rei. "Yes. If he was harboring any ill will when he first envisioned the..." Realizing Rei was going into one her long boring lectures, Asuka tuned her out and looked back at the viewpoint showing Misato and Kaji in the hotel room. She gasped at what it was currently showing. She picked a small notepad off the floor and began furiously taking notes. -E- -V- -A- Misato screamed in pleasure as beads of sweat dripped off Kaji's body onto hers. "Did you mean it, Kaji?" Misato asked, staring at the ceiling while Kaji did his magic. "Yes. I'm not going to marry her after hearing all that. The wedding is supposed to be after the election, so I'll just dump her after I get elected," Kaji insisted, brushing the hair out of Misato's eyes. "It'll be a bit of a scandal, but the voters won't remember it by the time for re-election comes." "I love you, Kaji." "I love you, Maya," Kaji said, while rocking back and fourth. As he realized what he had said, his eyes went wide. "Err... Misato." In the theater, Asuka smiled. "Damn, that other Misato is so gullible. Or maybe not... ouch!" She cringed at what the viewpoint was showing. "Hey, Misato! You might want to look at this!" "Yeah, right. I'm not falling for that again," Misato said, from a new pile of ripped up Kaji pictures. Asuka smirked and returned to look at the other Misato chasing Kaji around the hotel room with a mallet. "Serves Kaji right for selecting the Shin Seiki Ranma fantasy suite." -E- -V- -A- Maya was walking down the hall towards the hotel exit when she spotted someone kneeling in one of the doorways. She stopped and gasped in surprise. "Ritsuko? What are you doing here?" Ritsuko looked up from the door she had her ear pressed against in an attempt to hear who was inside. So far, she had not been able to identify Rei's voice in any of the panting or groaning she had heard. "Maya? Um... I'm trying to find my sister... err... I guess I might as well start calling her my daughter now." Maya gasped. "Oh my. She found out?" She strolled over and put a comforting hand on the blond woman's shoulder. Ritsuko grasped the hand, desperately needing to latch onto anything for support. "She found out last night and now I can't find her anywhere. I thought maybe she might come to one of these sleazy hotels with that walking cock she calls her boyfriend." Maya giggled suddenly. "Yeah, I know that feeling. I just had to chew out my fiance for seeing his mistress so close to the election." Ritsuko couldn't help smiling. "You still stringing that fool along so you can get into the mayor's mansion?" Maya nodded. "Do you need help looking for your daughter?" Ritsuko smiled and placed a hand on Maya's shoulder. "Thanks, Maya. You're always there when I need you." -E- -V- -A- Shinji nervously handed over some cash through the little window that the hotel clerk peered out of. The clerk handed a key and two towels to Shinji, then shut the window. Shinji relaxed a bit and walked into the entrance with Rei. "That was close. I was afraid he was going to ask for some I.D." Rei smiled. "Nawww... they don't care how old you are at places like this. Anything for a few hundred yen." Shinji gulped as he recalled some of Rei's past. Rei noticed his nervousness. "Come on, Shinji. Don't be nervous. This will be the first time I've ever done it with a boy I really loved." "What about your old boyfriend?" Rei stopped in front of their room and shook her head. "That wasn't love... I may have thought so at the time, but he was just using me to gloat to his friends." "I'm sorry. You deserve better," Shinji said. Rei smiled and stepped on her tip-toes to kiss Shinji. "I love you, Shinji. Everyone else was just for the sex... to try and fill the void left in me by that fuc..." Rei took a deep breath to calm herself. "You're so much more important than any of them." Shinji blushed then opened the door and they stepped inside together. "Shit!" Shinji gasped when he saw that there was already someone in the room and very clearly in the throws of passion. Rei was even more shocked than Shinji because she recognized one of the naked people immediately. "Mother?" Ritsuko looked over at the door. "Rei? What the fuck are you doing here?" she asked, although she knew very well why her daughter would have come to a place like this. "I could ask you the same thing! Why are you fucking another woman?!" Rei screamed, pointing at the woman in bed with her mother. "Well, Maya and I go way back. We ran into each other and..." Ritsuko explained calmly. "So you're... a lesbian?" Rei asked, astonished. "What use could I have for a man?" Ritsuko said, slipping to the edge of the bed and wrapping a sheet around herself. Maya had awkwardly slipped to the other side and was silently getting dressed. "I mean, I've dated some guys, but men are really only good for their dicks." Rei fumed. "I can't believe this! You said you loved me, but instead of being worried about me, you're here satisfying your lust with some dirty lesbian?" "Don't talk about Maya that way! She's been my lover for years. She's better than any man could ever be!" Ritsuko bellowed, then felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked around to see Maya had redressed. Maya looked awkwardly. "Um... I really can't stay. If the press ever found out about us..." Ritsuko nodded. "Sure. I understand." She leaned over and kissed the woman deeply. Maya took a couple of awkward steps towards the door, the turned around and whispered to Ritsuko. Ritsuko blushed, turned around and pulled something out of her. Trying to hide it from Rei and Shinji she handed a long slender object to Maya, who quickly put it into her purse and departed. "No wonder you think all men are scum. You can't pass judgement on every man just because you're gay!" Rei snapped. "That's a laugh. Who was the one the cops busted for prostitution after she solicited an undercover policewoman?!" "That was just for the money!" Rei insisted. "Oh, that's so much better than doing it for love!" "Well, I love Shinji!" Rei said. To prove it she kissed Shinji, who had just been staring in shock at the nearly naked woman in front of him. "You little fool, that's what you said about Hasamoto! Is this one going to get you pregnant and then almost beat you to death as well?" "No, I won't! I'd never hurt her!" Shinji blurted. "You stay out of this, you little asshole!" Ritsuko snapped at Shinji. Shinji straightened up and looked Ritsuko straight in the eye, instead of her breasts which was where he had been looking. "Shut the fuck up! Just because your life sucks, don't think that you can ruin Rei's life too! She deserves better!" "Who the hell are you to lecture me?" Ritsuko snapped. "I'm the one who loves your daughter! You should try it sometime!" Shinji yelled, then grabbed Rei's wrist. "Come on, Rei, she's never going to change her tune." Rei allowed Shinji to pull her out with him, briefly glancing back at her mother with a mixture of sadness and hatred in her eyes. Ritsuko ran out into the hallway to stop them. In the process, the sheet she had been covering herself with caught the edge of the bed and was left behind. Before she realized the sheet was gone, the door slammed shut behind her. "Oh shit." She tried to open the door again, to no avail. She pressed her breasts against the door and tried to hide herself in the doorframe as a couple walked by. She smiled nonchalantly as the couple looked strangely at her. "What the hell are you looking at? Never seen a naked woman before?" Awkwardly, the man answered. "Yes, but not with a vibrator stuck in her ass." Ritsuko swore and pulled out the second vibrator that she had forgotten about in her shock and anger at seeing Rei and Shinji. Then she tried to jimmy the door lock. "Damn, how did Maya do this before?" -E- -V- -A- Asuka was laughing her head off in the theater. "This is so messed up. I never knew Shinji's mind was so twisted!" Rei looked at the viewpoint sadly. "Well, that does explain why she hates men so much." "I wonder if Ritsuko and Maya were really lovers in our old world?" Asuka asked, not expecting a reply. "I doubt it. Ritsuko was sleeping with Mr. Ikari," Rei said. Asuka smirked. "Really? The way he coddled you, I'd have guessed he was doing you." She had hoped to get a rise out of Rei, but she didn't. Rei shook her head slowly and answered softly. "No. I had to remain a virgin." Asuka couldn't tell if Rei was sorry she couldn't do it with Gendou or was glad. "So why did you accept our bet so you can have sex with Shinji now?" "I am no longer a virgin," Rei declared. Asuka's jaw dropped. She grabbed some popcorn from Shinji's stash and pulled Rei down to the floor. "Come on, girl, spill it. I want details." "It's not what you think." "What is?" "I did not have sexual intercourse to lose my virginity. I lost it when Third Impact was triggered." "So I'm not a virgin anymore either? Damn, I didn't even feel a thing." Asuka pouted. Rei shook her head slowly. "I have no information on your status as a virgin, but if you haven't had a penis in your vagina, you are still a virgin." Asuka smirked. "What textbook did you read that out of?" Rei looked confused and then realized that Asuka must not have understood what she meant, so she tried to say it in a way that she believed Asuka could understand. "Um, I mean if your honey pot hasn't been bopped by a rock hard cock then you are still a virgin." Asuka just stared dumbfounded at the graphic description from Rei. Suddenly, she wasn't that interested in finding out why Rei wasn't a virgin anymore. Rei apparently took Asuka's dumbfounded look as still being confused, so she continued with her explanation. "Let me put it this way... If that-" She pointed at Asuka's folds. "-hasn't had one of those-" She pointed at Shinji's penis. "-in it, then you are still a virgin." "Okay... okay! I understand already," Asuka snapped. She really should have learned not to talk to Rei anymore by now, but it's not like she had many choices to choose from since Third Impact. She glanced at Misato, who was still sulking on her nest of torn-up Kaji and Maya pictures. -E- -V- -A- "Mom? Dad?" Shinji called out as he and Rei stepped into his apartment. He didn't hear a response, so he led Rei in. He checked the message board near the phone. "Hmmm, my mom is going to be late tonight." "Are you sure this is okay? I mean, will your parents really let me stay for a few days?" Rei asked nervously. "I hope so... but if I can convince my mom, my father will fall right into line," Shinji said, smirking at the end. Rei giggled, then blushed when her stomach growled. Shinji smiled and looked through the refrigerator. "Let's see what we have to eat." He tensed as he felt Rei press her body against his back. "Make it something fast," Rei whispered into his ear, letting her hot breath blow across his earlobe. Shinji's voice went high. "O... kay." -E- -V- -A- Yui pushed the door open with her butt and walked into the apartment with her arms full of bags. "Shinji, are you home?" she called out, but received no response. She made her way into the apartment and into the kitchen. After she put the groceries away, she started to walk down the hall to see if Shinji was in his room. She stopped when she heard a knock on the front door. "Yes?" she asked as she opened the door, revealing a young woman. "Excuse me. I'm looking for my daughter and believe that she might be with your son," Ritsuko said, looking into the apartment. She was wearing an odd collection of clothes that were stolen from various hotel guests while they were 'distracted'. "Well, I just got home, but let me see if he's in his room," Yui said, then walked down the hall to check. Ritsuko paused briefly, but then decided she had to follow and see for herself. Yui opened the door to Shinji's room, not noticing Ritsuko sliding in behind her. "Shinji are you..." She trailed off and gasped as she saw Shinji and Rei curled up in bed together. They were both asleep in the bed without any sheets covering their naked bodies. Both women gasped. Yui turned around to see Ritsuko behind her. "Your daughter, I presume?" she asked, calmly. Ritsuko nodded and looked ready to kill. Or at the very least, make Shinji a eunuch. -E- -V- -A- In the theater, Rei smiled slightly and looked over to Asuka. "Looks like I won the bet." Asuka looked away from the smiling girl, not wanting to meet her gaze. Seeing Rei smile like that was disturbing enough, but knowing that it meant that she had lost the bet about which of their alter egos would be the first to make Shinji lose his virginity was the worst part. Not that she would admit that. "So what! Who'd want to fuck Shinji anyway!" she insisted, not convincing either of them. Rei continued smiling at the viewpoint. "Fine, then fuck him already!" Asuka yelled, pointing at Shinji. "When the time is right," Rei said gently. Asuka frowned at the unexpected response. -E- -V- -A- "Rei, get up!!" Ritsuko bellowed. Shinji started at the loud voice and fell to the floor, waking up Rei in the process. Rei rubbed her eyes and then saw Ritsuko. "Shit. What are you doing here, old-woman?" Ritsuko flinched. "I was trying to find my precious daughter before she did something stupid! But I can see that I'm too late." "I love Shinji, dammit! It's not wrong!" Rei yelled. A calm voice stopped the argument. "Shinji. Will you and your... friend... please get dressed and join us in the living room? We need to talk," Yui said, then pulled Ritsuko out of the doorway. "Uhhh, sure." Shinji started looking for his clothes, looking nervously at Rei. Rei slipped her panties on. "Sorry, I shouldn't have suggested this." Shinji shook his head. "No, it's my fault for falling asleep." Rei smiled briefly. "Well, you exerted yourself so much that you wore both of us out." Shinji blushed. "I think it was the lack of sleep from last night in the park." Rei finished putting her bra on and reached for her skirt. "No... it wasn't, my stallion," she said, winking at Shinji. She leaned over and gave Shinji a peck on his lips. -E- -V- -A- Shinji and Rei were sitting awkwardly across from their respective mothers. Both were looking down at the floor, afraid to look their mothers in the eyes. "Now then, is this your friend that you spent the night with last night?" Yui asked calmly. Shinji fidgeted. "Err... yeah. But we didn't do anything last night... she really did have some problems with her... mother." He glanced at Ritsuko, a touch of hatred in his gaze. "You shut up, little boy!" Ritsuko shouted. Yui looked at Ritsuko. "Miss, please do not yell. This is my house and we'll discuss this matter calmly." "Fine, then I'll take MY daughter and leave!" Rei cringed and held on tightly to Shinji's arm. "No! I'm never going home with you!" "Rei..." Ritsuko started, then went silent as Yui put a calming hand on her arm. "If you care about your daughter, let's talk to them and find out what's going on." Ritsuko looked ready to argue again, but slowly nodded. Yui smiled slightly. "Now first, I need a little information." -E- -V- -A- A while later, Yui was brought up to speed on how Rei was adopted by Ritsuko's mother and a bit of her past, but no one bothered to talk about her miscarriage or sordid past with boys. And girls, for that matter. Yui nodded. "I see. Well, Rei I can understand why you are so troubled. Finding out all that must have made you latch onto my son for support." "No! It's not just that! I love him!" Rei insisted and gripped Shinji's arm tighter. "I see. Shinji, how do you feel?" Shinji wouldn't meet his mother's gaze. "I really wish you wouldn't treat me like one of your patients, Mom!" "Just tell me, Shinji." "I... I love her. I know it's silly, but I can't stand to see her hurt..." Shinji trailed off, unsure what else to say. Rei had smiled at his admission. "I can see that both of your feelings are very strong. What about Asuka?" Shinji started at the unexpected question. "Asuka? Um... why do you ask?" "I thought she was your girlfriend," Yui calmly stated. Shinji gasped. "Well, no... not really. She's a friend, but we aren't like that." He neglected to mention that he had almost started dating her recently. "Oh." Yui frowned slightly. "So, how often have you been having intercourse with Rei?" "Mom!" Shinji shouted, then blushed. "Never... err... well. That was our first time." "Ha! That's a laugh after how I found you last night!" Ritsuko snapped. "Our first uninterrupted time!" Shinji clarified. "Are you using protection?" Yui asked. Shinji blushed. "Err... yes." "Good. Now then... Shinji, you're too young to be doing that. I understand your feelings, but I can't remain silent on it." Ritsuko was getting very agitated and suddenly spoke out. "Can we stop all this bullshit and get to the part where I get to take my daughter home and away from this little asshole?" Yui shot Ritsuko a stern glare. "Miss! I've asked you nicely to watch your language in my home. If you can't do that, you can leave now! So far, I'm inclined to let Rei stay with us -- separately from Shinji, of course -- until you can calm down. Anger doesn't solve anything." "Who are you to tell me what to do with my own daughter?!" Ritsuko asked. Yui looked Ritsuko straight in the eyes. "It's my understanding that you are legally just her sister, correct?" Ritsuko gulped and nodded. "So until her legal guardian comes, I can't in good conscience let her go with you. I'm sure the police would feel the same way." Ritsuko glared at Yui. "Well, my mom is out of town on business." "I'm not moving out of Tokyo-3!" Rei insisted, knowing that her grandmother was really looking for a new job to avoid confronting Rei's problems directly. "You'll go where we say." "No! She'll stay here with me... as my wife!" Shinji blurted. Rei smiled and gazed into Shinji's eyes. Yui smiled with pride at her son's mature reaction to his girlfriend's plight. Ritsuko exploded. "Like hell she will!" Ritsuko yelled, grabbing Rei's wrist. She pulled hard, causing Rei to wince in pain. Before Shinji could do anything, Yui grabbed Ritsuko's free wrist and twisted. In a flash, Ritsuko was sent flying over Yui's shoulder and crashed into an end table, flattening it. Yui looked down at the prone woman. "First, they aren't even legal age, and second, I think you'd better stop trying to bully her into doing what you want. Violence isn't the answer." Ritsuko staggered to her feet and wiped some blood off her lip. "You're one to talk." "Say what you like, but I won't let you hurt either of them." The awkward standoff was interrupted by the front door opening. "I'm home!" Gendo's voice called out. He walked into the living room and looked confused at the scene that befell his eyes. "Oh, we have guests," he said, wondering why one of the guests was lying on the remains of an end table and bleeding. "Yes, this is Shinji's FRIEND, Rei, and her mother. I'm afraid our son has just proposed to Rei here," Yui explained quickly. Gendou started at the news, but then took on his best fatherly stature and voice. "Now, Son, you're much too young to get married, especially when you have that nice Asuka." Shinji fumed. "Oh, who the hell cares about Asuka! I love Rei!" In the theater, Asuka flinched at the comment. Rei glanced briefly at the redhead, still wearing the same smile as before. Asuka ignored the smile. "Now, Son..." Gendou started to say, but Ritsuko interrupted him. Ritsuko had walked slowly over to Rei and took her hand gently. This calm action startled Rei, so she didn't resist. "Rei. I'm sorry about everything, but you really can't marry Shinji. Now or ever." Rei grew angry again. "Shut up! You sound just like a scratched DVD! I'll marry him... with or without your permission!" "You can't. He's... your half-brother," Ritsuko said. "What?!" everyone except Ritsuko yelled out. Gendou finally managed to get a good look at Ritsuko. "Oh... no..." Ritsuko sighed heavily and pointed at Gendou. "Rei, this is your father, Gendou Rokubungi." After the large thud caused by Gendou collapsing to the floor in shock, the room went silent. -E- -V- -A- And the theater exploded. "No!" came Rei's startled gasp. "Fucking your own brother! I love it!" Asuka said and burst out laughing. "I told him he wouldn't like it!!" Misato yelled from her nest of torn-up pictures. Shinji shook out of his trance and dropped to his knees. "No... no... that can't be!" Asuka smiled and came over to Shinji. "'Fraid so... looks like you fucked your own sister!" She started laughing again. "Shut up!" Shinji snapped, then shook his head slowly. "No... I didn't want her related to me... not after what I found out in the cloning tank." "Cloning tank?" Asuka asked. "Yes... I found out that Rei is a clone of my mother," Shinji explained. Asuka looked between Rei and the Yui visible in the viewpoint. "Really? I guess there is a resemblance..." "What?" a startled gasp from Rei interrupted her. Shinji looked over and saw that it was Rei who spoke. "You didn't know? I... I'm sorry, but Ritsuko showed us the tank with all the other..." Rei shook her head. "I know I'm technically a clone, but not of your mother." "Huh? But..." "I was created during Second Impact. If anyone could be called my mother, it would be Misato." "What?!" Misato's startled cry rang out, echoing off the distant walls of the theater. She staggered to her feet. Rei nodded. "I was created using material from the Second Angel and your eggs. That is why you were placed in the escape pod... so that you could escape with me and the other First Children in your womb." Misato started to tremble. "This sucks." After Misato collapsed to the floor in shock at the news, the theater went silent. [End - Garden of EVA 0:9 - Love Bites!] [End - Book 0 - Bites] [Coming soon: Book 1 - Sucks] ======================================================================= Author's notes/ramblings: Pisse-kopf is German for piss-head. Are the revelations starting to drive you mad? Don't worry... they will get even worse in the next book which really sucks. As indicated above, this ends the first 'book' of Garden of EVA. The next book will be the 'sucks' portion of the story. I know ending the first series of stories with a group of shocking revelations is a bit cruel, but I'm not going to make you wait long for 'Sucks' to start with the first part: "Garden of EVA 1:1 - Families Suck!" The chicken soup dispenser jokes were inspired by the very first Red Dwarf episode. Just to forestall any argument... it was never stated directly in the TV series or the movies that Rei was a clone of Yui. It was implied and I'm fairly certain that that was the creators' intentions, but Rei being smuggled away from Second Impact within Mistao's womb does fit with the events shown in the TV series (she was about 14 at the time). It's not my fault the creators were so vague about everything that they didn't explain Rei's origins directly and left this opening for me. I know the 'Red Book' directly states that Rei is a clone of Yui, but I am using what actually was mentioned and shown in the 26 TV episodes as 'canon' for Garden of EVA. Although elements from the End of Evangelion movie are starting to find their way in (mostly to explain Third Impact which was glossed over so quickly in the TV series), Garden of EVA will not end like the TV series or the movies. Anything up to and including the 5 minute alternate world in the TV episode 26 is my canon as far as Garden of EVA is concerned. I'd like to thank my pre-readers Thomas Kinnen, Arnold Callwood, Axel Terizaki, Johan Holmberg, EBJ, Lilly Maxx, James Grabowski, and David Johnston for helping me find and fix problems with this story. FFML members Chris Davies, Cherry Tiger, Michael A. Chase, Thomas C. Kinnen, Mark Ferrer, Matthew Campbell, David Smith, and Ravi Duvvuri were also helpful in fine tuning this story. Thank you all. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched characters are my fault. Revision 0.0 - Initial draft (January 15th, 1999) Revision 0.1 - Pre-reader draft (February 28, 1999) Revision 0.3 - FFML draft (March 27, 1999) Revision 1.0 - Final version (April 9, 1999) Revision 1.1 - First RAAC posting (April 11, 1999)