From: "Jim Lazar" [EVA][Fanfic][Lime] Garden of EVA 1:2 - Dating Sucks! ========================================================================= Garden of EVA 1:2 - Dating Sucks! Book 1: Sucks Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998-1999 by Jim Lazar A series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion that really sucks. "Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese." E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at: http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime ========================================================================= There is absolutely nothing bad or naughty about this part... not! ========================================================================= Shinji lumbered across the battlefield in Unit One, searching for something to slice into tiny little pieces. He saw Asuka's red Unit Two with its assault rifle in hand and resisted the urge to attack her. He was getting really sick of her nagging him for the previous week about taking her out on a date. He decided to concentrate on the game instead, so he did a high leap and landed on top of a nearby building. "Where are all the Angels and enemy Evas?" Asuka responded. "I don't know... this is really weird, Shinji." "Be on your guard. I smell trouble." Shinji scanned the battlefield with the large assault rifle he carried. His finger rested on the trigger, ready to blast anything that moved. "Hey, Shinji?" "Yes?" "You wanna fuck me?" Shinji was so startled he jarred his controls. His Eva started firing randomly, tumbled from the building he was standing on, and then crashed to the ground with an earth-shaking thud. "What?!" "As long as we have no enemies around, let's use the sex cheat." Shinji didn't know what to say, so he said the first thing that came to his mind. "Err... we're supposed to be training for the championships here!" "Screw that! Come on... you've been putting off our makeup date for the last week. At least let's have some virtual fun!" Shinji gasped and checked the intercom to make sure they were on a private channel. He relaxed when he saw that they were. "I told you, Asuka... I've got family problems right now." "And you won't tell your oldest and dearest friend what they are!" "Right! So I'm certainly not gonna tell you!" "You little dork... tell me. What? Did your father have an affair or something?" Shinji flinched. "No! Just mind your own business!" Inside her entry plug, Asuka screwed up her face. "Freak-a-zoid... Okay, Shin-boy... have it your way." Then a sly grin spread across her face as she reached over and keyed a code into the onboard computer. Before Shinji's startled eyes, Unit Two's armor fell off and revealed the naked female body underneath. As usual for the sex cheat, the armor covering the head remained in place. Shinji suddenly had to shift in his seat to allow a certain oak tree a little room to expand in his pants. "Damn it, Asuka... I'm here to train!" "Such a boring little boy," Asuka muttered. Then, knowing Shinji would never have the guts to even fuck a VR girl, Asuka sat her Eva down and ran its hands sensually across its curvaceous body. If it was just any female naked body Shinji might have been able to resist, but since the female bodies in the sex cheat were modeled after Rei's body he was having a real hard time resisting the forbidden fruit--a cherry in this case--spread out in front of him. A part of him wanted to pull his self-destruct lever and a part of him wanted to jump the Eva's bones. He was ready to turn his Eva around and go in search of something to kill, when he noticed that Asuka had progressed past fondling her Eva's breasts and had moved to explore the lower regions of the anatomically correct VR body. That did it for Shinji. He couldn't see Rei's body like that and keep his hormones from overruling his reason. He fumbled with his Eva's armor release and then sprinted forward. Asuka was shocked at seeing the armor fall from the male Eva unit's body. She stopped what she was doing and withdrew her fingers. "Shinji! What are.." she cried just before Unit One jumped on top of her and inserted its unit into Asuka's unit. -E- -V- -A- The readers screamed bloody murder as the scene shifted to another part of the battlefield where Touji, Hikari, and Kensuke were fighting off hordes of Angels and enemy Eva units with a flurry of slashes and thrusts of their assorted weapons. Rei was nearby grappling with an Angel which looked exactly like Shinji, at least in her mind it did. She was having trouble fighting something that she thought looked like him, so had already regenerated five times since the game started a couple of minutes earlier. "No... No... No... Shinji!!" Her Eva was beheaded and Rei felt a warm feeling spread across her panties. "Not bad, Rei, but a little higher in pitch and you'll have it," Touji commented and sliced an Eva into three pieces using a large curved blade held in the center. He looked briefly at his tactical map and spotted the indicators for Shinji and Asuka on the edge of the battlefield. "Shut up, Suzuhara! She's having enough trouble in this game without your vile comments! I'm sure she was just asking for Shinji's assistance in fighting, not what your perverted little mind imagined." "Obviously you thought the same thing I did... Oooofff!" Touji got the breath knocked out of him when Hikari kneed his Eva in the groin. There was no way that Touji could have really felt that--the tactile feedback the game entry plugs provided wasn't that detailed--but he felt the pain nonetheless in his mind. "Nasty." Rei's Eva returned to the game and she lumbered slowly across the battlefield towards a group of enemy Evas. She absently proceeded to hack them apart, with almost a mechanical movement. Anyone who knew how she normally fought, could recognize that her heart was just not in the game. "Rei! What are you doing!" Kensuke's voice called out. "Huh? Just getting some practice in.... why?" "You just hacked Hikari and Touji's Evas apart! Look at your tactical map!" Rei glanced down at her display and swore. "Fuck! Guys... I'm sorry!" "You didn't need to kill Hikari just because you were mad at me!" Touji shouted back. "I'm really sorry... I've been having some family problems lately." Rei's Eva just stopped moving as she released the controls to cradle her head in her hands. Tears dripped down on the controls and suddenly sparks erupted from the cracks. "Oh, no!!" -E- -V- -A- "Oh, Shinji!" Asuka cried, still unable to fathom why Shinji would do this so suddenly. She had assumed he would chicken out and run away with his penis hanging limp between his legs. Unit One continued its... activity... until the displays flickered and suddenly went dead. "Huh?" Asuka gasped, almost as if disappointed. "No way was that ten minutes!" "Sorry, players... we have a slight problem. Please exit your entry plugs!" a voice called from outside the entry plugs. "Damn, just when it was..." Asuka trailed off, opened her entry plug, and stepped out. Remembering that she was supposed to be mad at Shinji, she stormed over to his plug before anyone else got out. "Dummkopf! What were you thinking?!" Shinji hadn't gotten out of his entry plug and just looked timidly at Asuka's feet. "Sorry, Asuka... I don't know what got into me." "You got into me, that's what!!" Suddenly, a thought struck Shinji. "Hey, it was your idea!!" Asuka flinched and blushed. "Well... so what! Try that again and I'll never let you fuck me for real!" She turned and stormed away. Shinji frowned suddenly. "For real?" he whispered to himself. The others passed by him on their way out. "Coming, Shinji?" Touji asked, pausing briefly outside Shinji's plug. Shinji stirred a bit in order to look like he was climbing out. "Err... yeah. I'll catch up to you guys... I have to hit the head before we eat." "Okay," Touji said absently as he walked away. When everyone was clear, Shinji crawled out of his plug and stealthily made his way to the bathroom, trying to hide the wet stain on his pants. -E- -V- -A- "What a klutz!" Touji exclaimed as he looked at Shinji's wet pants. "It's not my fault that the faucet in the men's room was broken!" Shinji blurted his cover story. He hoped washing the stain out and discarding his boxers in the bathroom was enough to keep the smell from being noticed. "Yeah, yeah..." "You know... we're never going to get past the first round with you all playing as lousy as that!" Hikari scolded them all as they walked. "I'm..." Rei began to apologize, but Shinji beat her to it. "I'm sorry guys... I've been having some problems at home. I promise that I'll get over it by the time we head to Osaka-2." Rei blinked and was amazed at hearing that Shinji had a bad game too. She had been so out of it, she didn't even remember seeing him during the game. Seeing him for real that is. Asuka was so mad smoke was almost coming out of her ears. She wanted to ream Shinji a new one, but she wasn't about to do it in front of the gang. The gang walked in awkward silence, with only an occasional stilted conversation starting, before it met an untimely end as a subject came up that someone didn't want to talk about and would change the subject. After the gang broke up, Hikari and Touji walked alone in a small park. "What do you think is wrong with Rei?" Touji shrugged. "That time of the month?" Hikari bonked him over the head with her bag. "Idiot. That has nothing to do with playing EVA!" "How would you know?!" Hikari shook her head sadly. "You are really clueless sometimes. Do you think Shinji is dating Asuka or Rei?" "Huh? No way, Shinji tells me everything!" "Yeah... I'm sure he does." Hikari's expression did not match her words. "I think he's probably fucked one of them by now." She knew there was no chance of that, but she liked how cute Touji looked when he boasted of his manhood. "Not a chance! I'll be the first one of us to give the most beautiful girl in school my love juices." "Damn, I thought you loved me and here you have the hots for Sana?!" Touji frowned. "Sana? She's cute, I guess... but not a fox like you." He put on a charming smile. Hikari giggled. "You are so easy." She reached over, grabbed his shirt, and pulled him down for a long kiss. When the kiss ended, Touji smirked. "You big tease." Hikari smiled sweetly. Then Touji frowned. "Which one is Sana again?" Hikari rolled her eyes and grabbed Touji's hand and pulled him away deeper into the park. "Let's just find somewhere quiet and make out. I really don't want to talk to you anymore." Touji, being Touji, didn't even hear the insult and instead smiled broadly. Hikari noticed his reaction. -E- -V- -A- Because they lived close together, Rei, Asuka, and Shinji ended up walking together. As in the past, each girl wished the other would leave her alone with Shinji. Finally, Asuka had to ask a question that had been troubling her. "Hey, Shinji, what's wrong at home?" Rei shuddered. Shinji tried to evade, but Asuka grabbed his shirt. "Just tell me! We're friends, right?!" "Yeah... um... well, my mother is thinking of divorcing my father. It turns out he had an affair a while ago." Shinji carefully avoided looking at Rei. "Wow... err... that sucks, Shinji." "Tell me about it." Shinji wasn't able to keep from glancing at Rei. "I'm sure your mom will forgive him, she's pretty forgiving. You remember that time you burned all her bras? She forgave you then." Shinji shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Hey! You're the one who burned them and blamed it on me!" Asuka suddenly realized he was right. "Err... don't change the subject, Shinji." Shinji decided he wasn't in the mood to fight with Asuka. "Anyway, they've been going to counseling since the shit hit the fan about a week ago." "Well, no wonder you haven't wanted to make that date up to me yet." Rei's book bag dropped to the ground with a loud thud. Shinji looked around and smiled nervously at Rei. Asuka turned around and asked, "Something wrong, Rei?" "No. I just dropped my bag!" Rei chimed, trying to sound chipper and retrieved her bag. Shinji wasn't fooled. "Anyway, you really shouldn't let your parents' problems affect you so much. Can't stop living just because your parents are stupid." Shinji nervously scratched his head. "Yeah... I guess. Hey! Don't call my parents stupid!" "Aren't they?" "No! Well... not my mom." After some more awkward conversation, Asuka finally headed home, leaving the new brother and sister alone. "So... you're dating Asuka already?" The jealousy was very evident in Rei's voice. "No!!" Shinji blurted, then calmed down. "Um... she sort of cornered me before we found out we were related and got the idea that I asked her out on a date... maybe I did sort of accept. But we never got a chance to actually have a date." Rei walked silently for a few seconds before answering. "I see. It's okay if you want to." "Huh?" "If you want to date her, I understand. It's not like we can anymore." Then Rei added a hopeful sounding, "Can we?" to the end that Shinji didn't seem to hear. "I'm not really sure I want to date her. It doesn't seem right after all you've been through." Rei smiled slightly and looked at Shinji in his eyes. "Thank you. That's very nice of you, but we have to forget our screwed up past and get on with our lives." "Well, if you're sure..." Shinji said. Rei nodded, even though she knew her words hadn't come from her heart. Her heart wanted to look into Shinji's beautiful piercing eyes forever and kiss his lips forever and nibble his chest forever and... you get the idea. They walked some more, slowly being able to talk like they did before the recent revelations that they were brother and sister, well half-brother and half-sister, at least. "So what about, Kensuke?" Rei started. "Huh?" "He's a nice guy and maybe..." "I'm not ready for another relationship right now." Internally, Rei wondered if she'd ever be able to have a normal relationship after this. Not that she'd had a normal one yet, of course. Shinji frowned. -E- -V- -A- "Hot damn! My turn!" Shinji glared at Asuka and began to raise his hand to dismiss her, but decided he couldn't do that every time she bugged him or she'd never be around. A part of him wondered why that would be a bad thing. "Whatever..." Rei was off by herself, not doing much of anything, while Misato hovered nearby, trying to find something she could say or do to help her new found daughter. Asuka beamed. "Now that we're going to be a perfect couple in your perfect world, we should fuck here." "It's not perfect." Shinji slowly turned towards Asuka. "It's not perfect, and the problems there don't affect how I feel here and now." "How do you feel?" "I feel sick." "Why? Are you pregnant?" Shinji flinched. "What? I'm a man, men can't get pregnant!" "Oh... want to make me pregnant then?" Rei and Misato's head snapped around to look at the redhead. Shinji sighed. "Not really." Asuka frowned, she had expected a bigger blowup from Shinji. "You're getting a bit dull, Shinji." -E- -V- -A- Excerpt from 'The American Century Dictionary' - 1999 edition: date n. colloq. 1 appointment, esp. social 2 go out together as sexual partners Excerpt from 'Shinji's Guide to the Post-Third Impact World' - 2nd edition (Asuka tore up the first one): date n. cooloq. 1 awkward appointment, esp. after learning the girl you love is your half-sister 2 go out together as sexual partners and make hot passionate love to the gorgeous redhead known as Asuka (stop writing in my guide, Asuka!) -E- -V- -A- A few days later, Shinji stood in front of Asuka's door. After several aborted tries at knocking, he finally got the nerve to touch the door. After tapping lightly a few times, he shrugged and turned away. He had only accepted this date because Asuka was so persistent and Rei said it was all right, so his heart wasn't in the knock. "Guess she's not home." Before he could take more than a couple steps, the door opened. "Hi, Shinji! Cute butt!" Shinji gulped and turned around. "Hhhhh...hi, Asuka." Asuka stood in the doorway in a beautiful knee-length black dress that hung from her shoulders by a pair of small straps. She smiled sweetly and spun around. "You like?" Shinji nodded. He was trying not to 'react' to seeing how sexy she looked in her dress. The fact that when she spun around she had revealed her pink lace panties didn't help matters. "Well, Mr. Ikari, shall we go?" Asuka held out her hand. Shinji nodded as he raised his arm and took her hand. The couple started walking down the street. "Are you going to talk tonight?" Shinji nodded, but remained silent as they walked since he was having trouble thinking of anything to say. Asuka smiled. She totally overlooked the fact that it was her first date too. -E- -V- -A- Shinji and Asuka ate dinner at a nice restaurant, meaning you didn't pass an old southern geezer with a goatee as you entered the door and the food would probably be edible and chicken beak free. Unfortunately, it wasn't. Shinji put another chicken beak on the little beak plate and sighed. "Sorry, Asuka, I thought this place was nicer." Asuka just smiled. "No sweat, Shinji. It's the thought that counts." She stood up and brushed the beaks off her dress. "Let's go for a walk in the park, okay?" She cocked her head to the side and smiled. Shinji nodded and put down some money for the bill. They strolled out of the restaurant and towards a small park, which seemed to have a lot of couples milling around. Actually, they were doing more than milling, much to Shinji's discomfort. "So, you think your parents are going to get a divorce?" Shinji flinched at the sudden question from Asuka. "Um... no... I think they are getting over their problems. The affair was a long time ago, so I think she's forgiven him... mostly." "That's good. What do you want to do for the rest of the night?" "Whatever you want to." Asuka smiled and grabbed Shinji's hand, pulling him deeper into the park. Shinji began to grow more nervous as he saw all the couples making out in all sorts of unusual places and positions. They were on benches, on the edges of fountains, on blankets, on tree limbs, on top of light poles, leaning against garbage cans, using cardboard boxes. One couple were even doing it on top of a sign reading 'No making out in the park. Fine: 10,000 yen. Fine for making out on top of this sign: 20,000 yen'. They passed one couple who were staring vacantly into each other's eyes. "Oh, Mr. Soup, we're alone at last!" the young woman said, as the man wrapped his strong arms around her firm body. "No one can see us now, Ms. Noodle! " the young man said, ignoring everyone who was staring at them. "Take me, my soup stud!!" "Oh, Ms. Noodles!" Shinji looked away from the couple who was suddenly swapping spit like there was no tomorrow. "Um... maybe we should go somewhere else?" "You said it was my choice." Asuka grinned mischievously and searched for a free spot. She spotted a young couple locked in a firm embrace on a park bench. "Ushiko, wherefore art it, Ushiko?" the man asked, fumbling behind the woman's back. The woman starred lovingly into the man's eyes. "Wherefore art what, Umao?" "Wherefore art thine brassiere, Ushiko?" "Doth it matterith, Umao?" The man paused briefly to consider this and then continued. "No, my love!" With that, he picked up the woman in his arms and carried her off into the night, Asuka knew not where. Nor did she care. She sat quickly down onto the bench the couple had just vacated, flipping a forgotten bra off in the process. She pulled Shinji down next to her, looked him in the eyes, and waited patiently for him to make a move. He didn't. "What's wrong, Shinji, don't you want to kiss me?" "Err... I don't want to rush things." Asuka smirked at his nervousness. "You really are too timid sometimes, Shinji. You seemed to like kissing me before." She batted her eyelashes a few times. "Yeah, well... err..." Asuka could see Shinji wasn't going to make the first move, she stopped his rambling by placing her lips on his. He was startled at first, but soon returned the offered kiss and the two teenagers were soon swapping spit with a fervor. Several minutes later a voice interrupted their make out session. "Ha! They look like two cats in heat!" Shinji broke the kiss at hearing the familiar voice. "Ah.... Touji... how are you doing?" The single strand of spit that still connected his mouth to Asuka's spoiled his attempt to act casual. Touji grinned broadly. "Not as good as you... yet." He glanced at Hikari, who was at his side and holding his hand. Hikari glared at him. "I don't think we'll get that passionate, Slick." Shinji and Asuka blushed while Touji's face sunk. "Um... fancy meeting you here, guys." Asuka unconsciously moved away from Shinji. Hikari smiled. "That's my line. Why didn't you tell me you two were dating, girlfriend!" She slipped in beside Asuka. "Spill the details." Touji sat down next to Shinji and slapped him on the back. "Shinji, you dork! Why didn't you tell me you were getting some action from Big-red here." Asuka cast death rays from her eyes at Touji. Shinji looked awkwardly at his friends. "Um... it's our first date." Touji's face fell again. "First date?" He looked at Hikari. "You said it wasn't proper to French kiss on OUR first date!" "Well, Shinji's a lot more of a gentleman than you are, Slick. He'd never think of groping my breast like you did on our first date!" Asuka smiled. "That's nothing, Shinji has..." Before she could tell them that Shinji had done more than grope her breasts already, Shinji interrupted her. "Um... we have to go. Come on, Asuka." He stood up and pulled Asuka to her feet. Asuka smiled and let Shinji drag her away, leaving the arguing couple alone. "Tease!" "Pervert!" "Control freak!" Hikari glanced at where she had seen Shinji and Asuka run off. "That wasn't very nice of us." "Hey! We've been dating longer, so we deserve the bench more than they do!" Touji slid in beside Hikari and gave her a deep kiss. Hikari grew weak under the power of the kiss. "Well... I'm sure they'll find somewhere else to make out... Come on, baby, make me purr!" Touji grinned and gave Hikari another long kiss, while his hand roamed over her body. After receiving no complaints about fondling her breast, he started to explore further down her body until his hand started working it's way under her skirt. "Oh, Touji!" -E- -V- -A- Shinji and Asuka wandered out of the park. "Well, I guess we don't have to bother telling the gang anymore." Shinji looked at Asuka with a confused look on his face. "Huh? Tell them what?" "That we're a couple now, idiot!" "Oh..." Shinji trailed off. Asuka smiled sweetly at Shinji and took his hand as they strolled. After a while, Asuka spun around and smiled at Shinji. "You know, Shinji... you're not a bad kisser." Shinji smiled awkwardly. "Err... thanks. Maybe we should call it a night." Asuka looked around the deserted street and grinned. "Nope." She jumped forward and gave Shinji a long kiss. Shinji started to get lost in the passionate kiss. Just before his eyes closed completely, they snapped back open after he saw Rei in the distance. Rei had stopped walking along the street when she spotted Shinji and Asuka. The former lovers' eyes remained locked together as Asuka continued the kiss. Tears formed in Rei's eyes before she spun around and ran off crying into the night. The kiss broke when Asuka realized that Shinji wasn't responding at all. "What's wrong, Shinji?" Shinji stammered for something to say. "Err... nothing... I... err.. I had a great time, Asuka!" He smiled, although it appeared forced. "Um... see ya at school tomorrow!" Shinji took off running towards where he had seen Rei disappear. Asuka looked at his retreating back, dumbfounded. "What... the?" -E- -V- -A- Shinji was panicked as he raced down the quiet streets of Tokyo-3. He grew more and more concerned that his sister might do something rash as minutes passed without sign of her. Suddenly, he screeched to a halt and relaxed when he spotted her in the distance. He tensed up again when he saw her talking to some old man in front of a love hotel. "Rei!!" Rei snapped her head around at hearing his voice. After a moment's hesitation, she took off running leaving the old man behind. He looked around for another prostitute. Shinji gave chase. "Rei, stop!" "Leave me alone, Shinji!" "No! Not if you're going to go sell yourself to any guy with a few hundred yen!!" Rei didn't slow down. "Try at least thirty thousand!" Shinji slowed at hearing her instant answer. Realizing he was now losing ground to the fleeing girl her redoubled his pace. "If you need the money..." He reached out, managed to grabbed Rei's wrist, and pulled her to a halt. In his haste, he twisted her arm. Rei flinched at the pain. By instinct, she spun around and slapped Shinji hard across his face. "Let go of me, Hasamoto!!" Shinji recoiled from the hit and backed against a nearby fence, holding his cheek. At first, he didn't even register the name Rei used. Rei looked at the bruised Shinji and shuddered. "You've got Asuka now, just go back to your date!" "Who cares about Asuka right now! Don't do this to yourself, you deserve so much more!" Rei shuddered. She steeled herself and shot back a response that wasn't from her heart. "I'll do anything I want to! This is all I have left now! You just go back and fuck Asuka!" "I'm not going to fuck Asuka, dammit!" -E- -V- -A- In the theater, Asuka swore. "Dammit, when am I going to get some!" Before Shinji could say anything or dismiss Asuka, Misato did. "Shut up, Asuka!" She walked over and put a hand on her trembling daughter's shoulder. "It's okay, Rei, Shinji won't allow that Rei to come to any harm... I know it." Rei looked up at Misato's face. "I know.... Mother." Misato pulled Rei into a tender hug. Shinji looked at them and sighed. Asuka looked at the hugging mother and child. "Oh, how sickeningly sweet..." she said, dryly. "Can't you feel any sympathy for anyone except yourself, Asuka?!" Shinji asked rhetorically. -E- -V- -A- Rei glared at Shinji. "Yeah... right! I saw how you were enjoying that kiss!" "Dammit, Rei! Stop beating yourself up over everything. I'm not going to let you ruin your life like this!" "What do you care?!" "I love you, that's why!" Rei flinched. "I know you do... but you can't give me what I need now... please leave me alone." She started to turn away. "Fine then! If it'll keep you from selling yourself to some dirty old man, I'll just be a paying customer!" Shinji suddenly announced. He dug into his pocket and produced a couple bills and some coins. "What'll ten-thousand and..." He counted his coins. "Three-hundred fifty yen get me?" Rei was speechless. She looked back and stared at Shinji's eyes for several seconds. Tears came to her eyes and she opened her mouth to speak. "It'll get you both arrested." Shinji and Rei turned their heads and saw a police officer standing beside them. "Shit." [End - Garden of EVA 1:2 - Dating Sucks!] ========================================================================= Author's notes/ramblings: Okay... let the sucking begin!! Mr. Soup and Ms. Noodles are from Urusei Yatsura. They occasionally popped up as a running joke as a young couple in love who are never able to find a quiet place to make out. Ushiko and Umao are from Kimagure Orange Road and are constantly popping up and asking where the other is. These two couples seemed to fit the make out scene nicely. I'd like to thank my pre-readers Thomas C. Kinnen, Taler Schilling, Axel Teizaki, James Grabowski, Arnold Callwood, EBJ, and Johan Holberg for helping me find and fix problems with this story. FFML members EeL, Chris Davies, Patrick McClanahan, Mathew Campbell, David Smith, and Michael A. Chase were also helpful in fine tuning this story. Thank you all. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched characters are my fault. Revision 0.0 - Initial draft (May 5, 1999) Revision 0.1 - Pre-reader draft (May 31, 1999) Revision 0.2 - FFML draft (June 9, 1999) Revision 1.0 - Final version (June 24, 1999) Revision 1.1 - First RAAC posting (June 27, 1999)