From: "Jim Lazar" [EVA][Fanfic][Lime] Garden of EVA 1:3 - Championships Suck! ========================================================================= Garden of EVA 1:3 - Championships Suck! Book 1: Sucks Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998-1999 by Jim Lazar A series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion that really sucks. "Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese." E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at: http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime ========================================================================= [Insert humorous warning about all the sex, naughty bits (male and female), bad language, and general suckiness here.] ========================================================================= "Fine then! I'll just be a paying customer!" Shinji suddenly announced. He dug into his pocket and produced a couple bills and some coins. "What'll ten-thousand and..." He counted his coins. "Three-hundred fifty yen get me?" Rei was speechless. She looked back and stared at Shinji's eyes for several seconds. Tears came to her eyes and she opened her mouth to speak. "It'll get you both arrested." Shinji and Rei turned their heads and saw a police officer standing beside them. "Shit." "You'll both have to come with me." The young, baby-faced policeman reached out to grab their wrists. Shinji's mind was working overtime. He had promised to protect his sister no matter what, but did that include resisting arrest? Rei suddenly dropped to her knees and began crying uncontrollably. "No, please... my mother will move me away for sure now..." "Save it for the judge." The policeman reached down to pull Rei up off the ground. Rei cringed away from the policeman's grasp and cried crocodile tears. Shinji snapped at the mere hint that he'd be separated from Rei. He tried to rationalize it by insisting that he had to be close to her to protect to her, ignoring the fact that his love for her was the real cause. Suddenly, he pointed down the street away from Rei. "Look it's a giant purple robot!!" The policeman looked away, giving Shinji the time he needed. He grabbed Rei, pulled her to her feet, and ran off dragging the still stunned Rei behind him. The policeman shrugged. "I don't see anything. Let's go..." He trailed off as he saw that the kids were gone. "Shit, not again. That's the third time this week I've lost suspects because of that giant purple robot that's been terrorizing Tokyo-3. They really have to catch that thing." It would be several days before the policeman would realize that he was repeatedly being tricked, but only after his superior explained very carefully that giant purple robots did not really exist. -E- -V- -A- Shinji dragged Rei down a dark alley hoping to find someplace to hide. Finally, he couldn't run any more and stopped in a dark corner. He crouched over and tried to catch his breath. Rei glared at Shinji. "Shinji!! Why did you do that?!" Shinji looked up at Rei from his stooped position. "Huh? I had to protect you." "Do you know what kind of trouble you can get into for resisting arrest? You should have just let me charm him into letting us go." Shinji gulped. He knew he hadn't really thought things through, but it had seemed the right thing to do at the time. "I'm sorry, I just sort of reacted without thinking when I thought we might be separated." Rei smiled slightly as a warm feeling flooded into her heart. "That's why you did it?" Shinji nodded. Rei smiled for the first time that day. "Thank you, Shinji. That's the first time anyone has committed a felony for me." Shinji smirked. "Anytime, Sis." Suddenly, a siren echoed down the alley. Rei looked around nervously. "We'd better get going, Clyde." "Okay, Bonnie." Brother and sister ran off into the night, hand in hand. -E- -V- -A- After a long run through the dark streets of Tokyo-3 trying to avoid being caught, Shinji believed they had lost the policeman for sure and had led them back to Rei's apartment. "You think we were followed?" Shinji asked, crouching down in front of Rei's apartment building. Rei smiled at Shinji's nervousness. "No, I think we're safe now. The cops don't care enough about prostitution to give chase for too long." Shinji was a bit troubled by her statement and her earlier one about charming the cop, but decided not to mention it. "Are you going to be okay alone tonight?" "No, but I can't be with you, can I?" Shinji reluctantly shook his head. "Rei, you don't need to sell your body like that." Rei smiled weakly. "I know... I guess I just couldn't handle seeing you with Asuka." "I'm not going to date her anymore... at least for a while." "It's okay, you can. I'll be alright." "It's not for you... I'm not ready." Rei sighed and risked looking into Shinji's eyes. "Why do all the good ones turn out to be taken or your half-brother?" "Life sucks, that's why." Rei nodded and turned to walk up the steps to the front door of the building. "Good night, Rei." Shinji turned around and took a single step before he felt Rei grab him from behind and wrap her arms around his chest. "Thank you for keeping me from making a big mistake tonight, Shinji." "Just don't do it again." "I won't." Rei took a step towards her apartment building then stopped and turned around. "Hey, Shinji?" "Yeah?" "You don't have to pay for it. Just ask." Shinji gulped loud enough to wake the dead. "Rei... um... we really can't do that anymore. I was just trying to keep you from making a huge mistake with that kind of guy." Rei frowned. She suspected as much, but still couldn't shake her feelings for him. Recently she had been wishing that her life could be like one of those hentai mangas where the brother always screwed his little sister. "I know. But never hurts to ask, does it?" Shinji was a bit confused. "Um... no, I guess not. Good night, Rei." He leaned forward and gave her a peck on her cheek. Rei smiled and put her hand to her cheek and walked inside. She then spent an hour arguing with her mother about where she had been that late at night. -E- -V- -A- "Thank you, Shinji." Rei said and pressed her naked body against Shinji's and gave him a long hug. Shinji blushed. "Err..." "Cut that out!" Asuka screamed and stomped across the theater floor towards the hugging couple. Shinji jumped away from Rei and awkwardly pointed at the viewpoint... with his finger. He tried to ignore the other part of his anatomy that was pointing at that moment. "Well, you should thank him. He's the one who protected her. I don't know if I would've been able to." "No.... I don't see any differences between the two of you." "Well..." "I agree. For instance, they're both spineless wimps!" Asuka instead. "No, they aren't," Rei said softly. "Yes, they are... did you see that jerk run away from me just when things were getting interesting?" "He appeared to be more concerned about me than with kissing you." Asuka recoiled from the suggestion, mostly since it had a ring of truth to it. "Shut up!" "I don't think I will," Rei said calmly. Asuka fumed inside at never being able to get a rise out of Rei. "Hey, Shinji..." "Yes?" "Rei here wants to fuck you!" "What?" Shinji gasped, looking nervously at Rei. Rei blushed. "You... embarrass me." Asuka couldn't believe that didn't get more of a reaction from Rei. "That's the point, you little slut." She turned towards Shinji. "Shinji, she's just like that other Rei... needing a cock in her to feel anything. She's just a unfeeling half-breed!" Shinji glared at Asuka. "What is wrong with you, Asuka?!" "Me? I'm perfect... she's the screwed up one." "Oh, go screw yourself then." Shinji waved his hand and Asuka disappeared. "I just don't know why she never changes. After all we've been through, you'd think she'd feel some compassion." "Maybe she's right." "Huh?" "Maybe I am looking for something to fill me up. To make me whole. To make me feel." Shinji grew nervous. "Um... Rei, I like you and all, but I really don't think..." Rei smirked. "Don't worry, Shinji. I don't expect you to do anything you don't want to. After all, we have all the time in..." She trailed off as she realized the term 'world' no longer fit. "Eternity, I guess. That's probably the proper term now... all the time in eternity." "Time for what?" "That is for you to decide, isn't it?" Shinji grew confused. Well, more confused than normal. -E- -V- -A- Shinji awoke the next morning with a naked girl on top of him. "Huh?" His eyes focused and he realized that it was Asuka and she wasn't naked. But he was. "Asuka! What are you doing?!" "Just making up for you running off on me last night," Asuka said, as she straddled his legs. Her school skirt was draped over his legs and her buttocks were resting on his mighty oak and acorns. Shinji gulped, but then realized it felt different from the time Rei had done the same thing. He looked around the room. "You really shouldn't do this... what if my parents found out?" "Who cares?" "I do." She leaned down and gave him a long kiss. After it was done, she slid off his legs and smiled. "You worry too much, Shinji. Relax and enjoy the ride." Shinji watched her depart and sighed. As he dressed, he started to wonder if he should have given a different answer to his ghostly twin. When the apparition had appeared to him a week previously, Shinji said he was happy. At the time, he had thought he could overcome the problems involved with Rei being his sister, but he wasn't so sure anymore. -E- -V- -A- "So how far did you two get last night?" Touji asked Shinji at lunch. Shinji had been avoiding these questions all day, but finally gave in. "Just kissing." "Come on... Big Red was all over you last night. I bet you you've at least touched her breast." "No!" Touji smiled and looked at Kensuke. "Do you think he did?" "I believe Shinji." "Thank you. Come on guys... If I did get anywhere with a girl, wouldn't I tell you? "I guess you would." "So how far did you and Hikari get?" Touji nervously looked at his girlfriend, who was eating with Asuka and Rei across the schoolyard. "Um... don't tell her this, but I touched her... you know... last night." "Her breast?" Shinji wondered. "No... you know..." "Her nipple?" Kensuke guessed. "No... lower?" "Her ass?" "No!" "The spot right behind her left knee that drives women crazy?" Kensuke suggested, casually. Both Touji and Shinji looked oddly at Kensuke for a moment before Touji spoke. "No, her vagina, you idiots!!" The trio suddenly looked around to make sure that no one had overheard Touji's loud outburst, most especially Hikari. Fortunately, there didn't appear to be a wave of gossip spreading out from them, so Touji's balls were probably safe from being crushed by Hikari. For this incident at least. Kensuke was confused because Misato had responded quite well when he had touched hers. "How could she not know that?" "Idiot! She knows I touched it--she was screaming in ecstasy at my touch--but she would kill me if she knew I told you!" Shinji and Kensuke exchanged knowing glances that had 'carpet-bagged' written all over them. "Since you two have yet to have the pleasure of the sensation, let me tell you all the juicy details." Shinji and Kensuke tried to sound interested in Touji's detailed description, but since they had more firsthand knowledge than Touji about that particular female body part, they found Touji's half-hour lecture on his one minute of feeling up Hikari a bit boring. -E- -V- -A- "I barely felt him touch it," Hikari said as she finished her description. "Hmmm, I bet Shinji is better," Asuka gloated. "He is," Rei said absently. When Asuka and Hikari glared at her she quickly added, "I mean... I'm sure he is. After that description you gave of his kissing, he sounds pretty good." It had been hard for Rei to keep herself from bursting into tears every time Asuka mentioned their date and everything that happened last night. "Oh. Well, he is a good kisser... but so awkward. He even ran off last night when we were still having fun kissing." Rei nodded, trying not to show any emotion. She wasn't entirely successful, but the other girls didn't notice. "Say, Rei? Do you have a boyfriend yet?" Hikari asked. Rei flinched, then shook her head. "No. I'm still getting over a bad breakup." She paused, then quickly added a lie to cover up who it was. "Down in Osaka-2." Sadly, even the cover up was partially true. Although under vastly different circumstances and not the breakup she was speaking of, her breakup with Hasamoto was very bad as well. "That was a long time ago. Maybe I could fix you up with Kensuke." Asuka laughed. "Kensuke? He's still playing war games. It'll be a while before he's ready to date a girl." "Thanks for the thought, Hikari, but I'm not ready." -E- -V- -A- After school, Kensuke leaned against a wall near the train station. "Hey, baby... Want to have tea with me?" The young woman stopped and stared at Kensuke in his leisure suit. "Aren't you a little young to be picking up women at train stations?" "Young and full of energy, baby." "Does your mother know you do this?" Kensuke went into his 'sad boy' routine that he'd found helped break the ice. "She died giving birth to me." The woman gasped. "Oh, you poor boy." She pulled him into a hug and comforted him. "You must have had a hard time growing up." "It wasn't easy." His hands started to roam. "Maybe... Eeepp!" The woman suddenly pushed Kensuke away and bashed him over the head with her purse. "Pervert!" She stormed off, thinking that the little perverted boy reminded her of her late husband. Suddenly, a smile formed on her faces. "Damn, almost had one there." Kensuke strolled away, constantly on the look out for older women. "Excuse me." Kensuke looked around to see the woman he had just groped standing there. "I'm Shinobu, care to have some tea with me?" She cocked her head to the side. Kensuke nodded emphatically. -E- -V- -A- A week later, Shinji awoke with Asuka on top of him. Again. "Asuka, will you please stop waking me up this way?!" "No... it's fun. And until you decide to take me out again, I'm going to keep waking you up this way." "I told you over and over... I can't date you right now." "Well, too bad... you sucked my nipple, so you're stuck with me!" Shinji sighed, knowing he couldn't win this argument, since he'd been unable to dissuade her for the past week. Like he did every morning for the past week, he pushed Asuka gently to get her off his lap. He stopped suddenly as his hand didn't feel what it normally did. Namely, cloth. He finally bothered to look at Asuka and saw that she was really naked this time. "Wh... why are you naked?!" "Well, since I couldn't give you your birthday present last night at the party with the gang there, I thought I'd give it to you now. You seem to be enjoying it." She nodded down towards his hand, which was still resting on her breast from when he had tried to push her off. "Ack!!" Shinji withdrew his hand suddenly. Asuka smiled devilishly. "Come on, Shinji, this is your birthday present." In a tempting invitation, she spread her arms wide. "What?" "You can fondle anything on this gorgeous body of mine you want." She gave him a sultry look and winked. "Anything." She nodded down towards her pubic region, which was resting on top of Shinji's lower stomach. "Why would I..." Shinji trailed off, quickly slid out from under her, and stumbled to his feet making sure to face away from Asuka to hide something that had suddenly risen to the occasion. He found his shorts, slipped them on, and walked towards his door. "Asuka, just get dressed and quit pressuring me!" As he made his way to the bathroom, he muttered, "Birthdays suck." Asuka frowned as she watched him disappear out the door. "What a grouch." She slipped off the bed. She thought about this for a few seconds. "No, that's ridiculous. I'll just have to give him a little more direct stimulation next time." She held her hand in a cup shape and then squeezed several times. "That'll work for sure." She started to leave the room, but then remembered that she was still naked. "Oops." She turned around and began to dress. -E- -V- -A- Excerpt from 'The American Century Dictionary' - 1999 edition: championship n. 1 contest to decide the champion 2 position of champion Excerpt from 'Asuka's Guide to the Post-Third Impact World' - 1st edition: championship n. 1 contest to decide who gets to fuck Shinji first 2 Asuka on top -E- -V- -A- The gang sat on a train headed south towards Osaka-2. Asuka and Shinji were sitting together. Shinji was constantly having to avoid Asuka's attempts to kiss, cuddle, hug, fondle, fold, spindle, or mutilate him. Usually in that order. Hikari and Touji sat across from them and alternated their attention between watching Shinji and Asuka's little awkward relationship, the scenery outside the window, and going repeatedly to the restroom to neck. Rei and Kensuke sat together. Rei spent most of the time staring out the window and trying to ignore Asuka and Shinji. Kensuke spent most of the time trying to look down Rei's low cut blouse without looking like he was trying to look. Misato suddenly stormed up to the little group. "We're almost there. I don't know why the principal forced me to babysit you brats on this little trip to play kiddie games, but you'd better all behave yourselves or you'll all have detention for the rest of your life." Rei knew why. She still couldn't believe her mother and grandmother had only allowed her to go on this trip after they had 'arranged' for Misato to babysit them. She might have normally cursed her mother and grandmother using their connections to do stuff like this, but in this case, she was happy to be able to get away with the gang. And Shinji, of course. Unfortunately, every time she saw him and Asuka together a part of her died inside, so she had mixed feelings about the trip. "As the leader of this group of morons, I promise you we'll behave," Hikari said, glaring directly at Touji. Touji took affront to the implied accusation. "What're you looking at me for?!" Hikari rolled her eyes. "Guess." "You had better behave, Touji. I still haven't forgiven you for spreading all those rumors about that man and me. Who is only a friend if you happen to talk to any reporters... which you shouldn't." Touji snapped to attention. "I'll behave, Misato!" Misato glared at Touji. "Is that any way to talk to your teacher?!" Touji gulped. "No, Ms. Katsuragi!!" Misato patted Touji's head. "Good boy." In the process, she had leaned over and given Touji a clear view of her ample cleavage. Hikari looked at her boyfriend and frowned. She leaned in and whispered into his ear. "At ease, soldier." "Huh?" "Cover your lap, you horny jerk." Touji blushed and quickly covered his lap to hide his reaction to Misato's cleavage. Misato leaned over and spoke to Shinji. "Shinji, now I know you and Asuka are dating, but please don't get into trouble. The hotel rooms are not for anything except sleeping, got it?" Shinji flinched. News and rumors about his date with Asuka had gotten out of hand at school. By the end of the week, everyone at school was convinced that they were having sex, Asuka was pregnant, and that they were planning to get married. Despite his protests, no one would believe him. Except the gang, but even Hikari, Touji, Kensuke had their doubts about them not having sex. Asuka, of course, knew they hadn't, but seemed to enjoy not answering questions about it directly, which helped fan the flames. And Rei... Shinji looked back at her, but she was still staring vacantly out the window. "Shinji! Did you hear me?!" Shinji snapped to attention. "Yes, Ms. Katsuragi! I'm sorry... rest assured I will not be doing anything with Asuka on this trip." "Hey!!" Asuka cried out. "You'd better behave yourself too, Asuka. I've lost too many boyfriends to redheads to be fooled by your protests of innocence. Just watch it..." Misato looked around at everyone, but made a point to cast a particularly nasty glare at Kensuke. "That goes for all of you. Behave yourselves!" "Yes, Ma'am!" -E- -V- -A- After they settled into the hotel, the three boys relaxed in their room. Misato had insisted on keeping a close eye on Asuka so they shared a room, while Rei and Hikari shared the third room that the gang had been assigned for the Eva Championship Tournament. "What do you think is bugging Misato, lately?" Shinji asked, staring at the ceiling. Touji, being Touji, said something vile. "Well, she's been cranky for a number of weeks, so it's not that time of the month." "I think she's in love, but it's a forbidden love," Kensuke commented casually. "What... like a student? Get real." Touji started to laugh. "Hey, it could happen!!" Kensuke blurted then calmed down. "Or maybe just some other boyfriend trouble." "Well, there is that guy I saw her with in the park. Rumor is he's running for some political office." "Mayor." Shinji and Touji looked over at Kensuke. "How do you know that?" Shinji asked. "Um... I... saw it on the news." "You watch the news?! What a dork... Well, with you like that and Shinji running away from Big Red like Ranma from Shampoo, I'll be the first to lose my virginity." Both Kensuke and Shinji turned their heads away from Touji to hide the smiles that appeared on their face. Touji just went on with his boasting, oblivious to Shinji and Kensuke having beaten him to the cherry. -E- -V- -A- "Are you going to let Touji do it finally?" Asuka asked as she unpacked her bag in her room while Hikari watched. Hikari blushed at Asuka's question. "Maybe." Asuka's jaw dropped, since she had only been teasing. "What?! You're really going to let him do it?" Hikari nodded. "Probably. As long as he behaves himself during the trip." Asuka relaxed. "Oh, then I guess he won't be getting any on this trip." Hikari frowned. "Hey, it's not nice to assume my boyfriend will do something stupid." Asuka raised her eyebrow in a silent question. Hikari couldn't hold in the laugh that erupted from her throat. "Yeah, maybe it is a long shot. But he really does have a sweet and tender side to him." "Is his butt that nice?" "Yes," Hikari answered without thinking. Suddenly she blushed. "Asuka!" "Don't worry about it, girlfriend, I've touched Shinji's butt too." "What's the story on you two anyway?" Asuka frowned. "To tell you the truth, I don't know. We've known each other our whole lives and I always thought of him as a friend. Well... maybe more than that lately. He's so damn cute." Hikari smiled. "Not as cute as my Touji." Asuka shrugged. "To each her own. Anyway, a few weeks ago he got very aggressive and we made out in his bedroom. I was so stunned when he sucked my nip..." Hikari's face fell. "Your nipple?" Asuka nodded. "He got that far before you even had your first date? Wow." "Well, that's were I drew the line... but I never knew he had it in him. To suck my nipple like that was so..." Asuka trailed off and smiled. Hikari nodded. "I know the feeling, but even Touji didn't try to suck my nipples for quite some time. Lots of wandering hands, of course." -E- -V- -A- Back in Tokyo-3, Shinji's mom answered the door to their apartment. "Yes?" The policeman in the doorway bowed slightly. "Good evening, Ma'am. Do you recognize either of these kids?" He held out two photos for her to see. Rei's photo looked like a mug shot and Shinji's looked to be from his school yearbook. Yui gasped. "Um... that's my son and his... friend Rei. Are they all right? Did something happen?" "They are fine as far as I know, but I think we need to talk, Ma'am." Inside the young policeman cheered. A sinking feeling hit Yui as she let the policeman in. "Gendou! Get your butt out here!" -E- -V- -A- Round one. The red Eva Unit Two stormed across the field and sliced the blue Eva in half with a large, spear-like sword. "First blood... One down!" Asuka called out, spinning the sword around in an elaborate and completely self-centered attempt to be noticed. "Nice one, keep your eyes peeled for Angels as we hack these Masturbating Bastards into tiny little pieces," Hikari instructed as she traded sword blows with an enemy Eva. "Got it." Asuka checked her tactical map and lumbered across the battlefield to a spot where there were three enemy Evas in close proximity. As she approached, she noticed the situation. "Kensuke, seven o'clock!!" Kensuke ducked his red Unit Ten down and spun at the same time. He extended his arm blades as he spun, slicing first into the blue Eva he had been grappling with and then into the blue Eva that was sneaking up behind him. "Two more down!" "Nice move, Ken-baby!" Asuka leapt over Kensuke and started to grapple with the sole remaining enemy Eva in the immediate area. "These guys are pathetic." While Asuka had taken on the enemy Eva, Kensuke had to battle with two hovering angels that had suddenly appeared. He was able to keep them at arm's length using his arm blades, but couldn't get the killing stroke in. "Tell me about it. Who would try to attack my Unit Ten from the back? Its strength is defending its backside." He finally managed to embed one of his arm blades into one Angel's stomach and he sliced upwards and gutted the Angel. Body pieces flew everywhere. "Well, any ideas on how to get through this Masturbating Bastard's AT Field?" Kensuke was fighting off the other Angel now and responded quickly. "Unit Sixteen has a field overlap where the legs meet his hips." Asuka smiled. "In other words, his groin." "Yup." "Thanks, Kensuke!" Asuka punched the Eva she was fighting in the face and then reached for her progressive knife. In one swift motion, she withdrew it from it's sheathe and thrust it into the blue Eva's groin. Its AT Field collapsed and Asuka sliced upwards with the knife, quickly disemboweling her opponent. "A fitting end for a Masturbating Bastard like you." She chuckled, but then suddenly swore when her energy alarm went of. "Shit! Kensuke, he's going to blow!!" Kensuke turned his head away from his opponent for a second just as the Eva Asuka had gutted exploded. He and the Angel were blasted across the battlefield along with bits of Asuka's Unit Two. His displays flickered and died. "Shit." He scrambled out of his entry plug and saw Asuka doing the same. "Damn, there's still four more Evas to take care of." Asuka nodded. "I think I saw Hikari take one out before we were blown up. Let's get to the displays outside and see how the others are doing." The two teenagers ran out to the displays outside and spotted Rei. "You bought it too, Rei?" Rei nodded slowly. "Yes, sorry guys... I messed up." "If only we could return to the game..." Kensuke muttered. "Not in tournament play... but at least it's three on three now." Asuka pointed at the display, which showed that Hikari had in fact killed another Eva unit. The teams in the championship tournament had anywhere from five to eight players. If a team had less than eight players, they could use drone Evas as substitutes, but they usually didn't last long. "I felt like a drone in there... getting killed so soon," Rei said, looking sadly at the ground. Asuka patted Rei on her back. "Don't worry about it... this is only the first game, you'll get back into your stride. You are our best Eva pilot after all." Rei gasped at hearing the admission from Asuka. "Um... thank you." "But don't let it go to your head... I'll get better and better and put you to shame, girlfriend." Rei smiled and gave Asuka a quick hug. "Thank you." The hug caused Asuka to blush, but she figured Rei needed a little boost to get over whatever had been bothering her lately so she didn't mention anything. "Damn... Shinji's fallen into a nest of Angels." Asuka looked up at the display screen. "Damn, what kind of sick programmer would have slaughtering baby Angels as part of a game?" Rei flinched. She looked sadly at the cute little yellow Angels that had tails shaped like lightning bolts. On the screen, they could see Shinji dealing with the baby Angels, but it was preventing him from helping Hikari and Touji who were surrounded by the last three enemy Evas. Asuka flinched when she saw one of Shinji's arms ripped off. "We may not win this one." "Shinji will do it. I know he will," Rei said softly. -E- -V- -A- Hikari hacked an arm off one of her attackers, but it regenerated into a human arm in seconds. "Shit, I hate the models with S2 engines built in." She traded more blows with her attacker, trying to see if Touji was having any luck with the two he was locked between. "Touji?" "Just handle that one. I'll get these two... somehow." Touji's tone of voice didn't reassure Hikari. "Okay, Slick." Hikari tried to find an opening in her opponent's defense, but couldn't find any. The little dance went on, Touji managed to keep the two attacking him from killing him, but couldn't take out either of his opponents without the other killing him afterwards. Hikari chopped various pieces of her attacker off, only to have them regenerate and hadn't been able to get to its S2 engine yet. Suddenly, Touji's proximity alarm went off. "Shit." He looked up into the sky to see a large flat Angel falling from the sky. "Extend your AT field, Hikari!!" Hikari looked up just before the Angel hit the ground and exploded. -E- -V- -A- Asuka gasped at the screen showing the explosion and flying Eva parts. "Shit..." Rei wrung her hands. "Did it kill all the Evas? Since Shinji's still alive..." Kensuke looked closely at the display. "I think everyone in the area was... Damn, one of the blue team is still alive." "God-damned Masturbating Bastard!" Asuka shouted, earning some stares from the crowd watching the tournament. Asuka glared at them. "Hey, it's their god-dammed team name!! So mind your own business, assholes!!" -E- -V- -A- "Pika... pika... pika..." Shinji sliced the last of the sickening cute Angel babies in half and it exploded making a long 'chooooo' sound. Before Shinji could look around the battlefield, he was tackled from behind. The two Evas tumbled across the battlefield locked in a tight embrace. In the process, Shinji lost the sword he had used to hack the Angel babies. "Shit," Shinji gasped. He continued to fend off the attacks of the blue Eva while he tried to recall the best way to defeat this model. He managed to break his enemy's hold on his arm and did a couple of back flips--not a easy task with only one arm--to gain some time and distance while he worked out a plan. A quick glance at his display showed Shinji that this Eva and him were the only two players left. As he ran around a mushroom shaped building with the blue Eva in hot pursuit, he looked around desperately for a weapon to use. -E- -V- -A- The four in the theater sat on the floor and watched the match on the viewpoint intensely. "Damn, looks like the so-called mighty Third Child's going to lose it in the first round," Asuka muttered, between gulps of popcorn. "No, he isn't." Rei said softly. Shinji's hand was clenched shut tightly as he tried to will his other self to win. "Come on... you can do it." "You're taking this way too seriously, Shinji. It's not real." "Maybe, but for now it is... and they all need this win to have some happiness. Even if it doesn't last..." "It will, Shinji, somehow it will turn out okay," Misato insisted, placing a gentle hand on Shinji's shoulder. "You are all clueless!" Asuka shouted. "That world sucks... I know it... Misato USED to know it, but now she's become such a mother and has lost touch with reality... and Rei... well Rei is blinded by her lust for Shinji." Shinji didn't even hesitate. "Just stop it, Asuka! Reality sucks and this is all we have left now." Asuka glared at him. "Is it really? Or have you just stopped caring?" "Caring about what?" "Living." -E- -V- -A- Shinji thrust the knife into the base of his opponent's neck and drove it as deep as it could, and then some. After a quick twist of the knife, the head fell apart, blood gushed everywhere, and the headless corpse crashed to the ground. Shinji looked around for anything else to kill, before remembering that that had been the last one. That was confirmed a second later when his display exploded with fireworks and a message indicating that the Dark Eva Knights had won the match scrolled across the display. Shinji allowed himself to relax. "That was too close." He opened his entry plug. Before he could step out, he was dragged out and tortured as five people hugged the stuffing out of him. "Nice job, Shinji!!" "Way to go, pal!" "Nice move at the end!" "You were wonderful! Such a stallion!" "What a stud!" Asuka's praise was followed by a long kiss. Shinji blushed and avoided eye contact with everyone else after the kiss ended. "Thanks, but you shouldn't kiss me in public like that." "Oh, who cares! We're all friends here! Okay, let's go celebrate the first win of many for the Dark Eva Knights!!" -E- -V- -A- A group of seven boys and one girl watched the gang walk out of the Eva center. "Are you sure they're the team to beat? They looked a little rough in there." A tall, skinny boy nodded. "I'm sure. With her on their team, they will get to the final round. And I'm not sure we can beat them with her there." "How can you be so sure?" "Because I know that girl... she's good. On the battlefield and in bed." "So what'll we do, Hasamoto?" "We make sure she can't play with them anymore." Hasamoto cracked his knuckles. [End - Garden of EVA 1:3 - Championships Suck!] ========================================================================= Author's notes/ramblings: Enter the evil villain. Or maybe he's a misunderstood youth. Or just a huge bastard that should be sliced and diced for daring to hurt Rei. Time will tell. Did you thought that running away from the cop would solve their problem that easily? Haven't you been paying attention? Their world sucks. I'd like to thank my pre-readers Johan Holmberg, Michael Liebenow, Axel Terizaki, EBJ, and Thomas C. Kinnen for helping me find and fix problems with this story. FFML members Michael A. Chase, EeL, David Smith, Ravi Duvvuri, and Chris Davies were also helpful in fine tuning this story. Thank you all. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched characters are my fault. Revision 0.0 - Initial draft (June 1, 1999) Revision 0.1 - Pre-reader draft (June 20, 1999) Revision 0.2 - FFML draft (July 1, 1999) Revision 1.0 - Final version (July 20, 1999) Revision 1.1 - First RAAC posting (July 24, 1999)