From: Jim Lazar Subject: [Eva][FanFic][Lime] Garden of EVA 2:2 - The Theater Blows ======================================================================= Garden of EVA 2:2 - The Theater Blows Book 2: Blows Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998-2000 by Jim Lazar A series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion that will blow your mind. "Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese." E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@animeprime.com Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at: http://www.animeprime.com/ff/geva ======================================================================= Mostly sex and naughty talk in this part. Since I used up all the blood in the last part, there isn't much of it in this one. ======================================================================= The theater according to Shinji: A prison with no escape -E- -V- -A- In the beginning... Shinji awoke to find himself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. "Huh?" He looked to the left and right and saw wooded walls and floors. "It... it looks like a theater." "Shinji?" Shinji looked at the source of the voice and gasped when he saw Rei sitting on top of his lap. "Rei!" A part of his mind wondered why she was naked, but for some reason it didn't occur to him to mention it. "How are you feeling, Shinji?" Rei asked, tilting her head. "Confused..." Rei smiled slightly. "Oh, so you're normal then?" "Yeah..." Shinji frowned as he realized that he might have just insulted himself, but couldn't quite put his finger on how. "Where are we?" "We are here." "Where's here?" Rei cocked her head and thought for a few moments. "I don't have the words." Shinji looked around and realized he didn't really have the words to describe it either. "Yeah... I don't either. Um... can you get off me so we can look around?" Rei frowned. "I guess." She slowly lifted herself from Shinji's naked lap. Shinji gasped when he saw a naked redhead sitting on his legs right behind where Rei had been sitting. "Asuka!" "Where the hell are we, you jerk?" Asuka glared at Shinji. "I don't know..." Shinji said. He waited for her to get off his legs for a few seconds before clearing his throat. "Um... can you get up?" Asuka smirked and tweaked his mighty oak. "Why?" Shinji's mighty oak started to become mightier. "I want to find out where we are." "Well, I'd rather play with this." Asuka grinned and started playing with her new toy like a cat with a cornered mouse. "Get off Shinji already!!" Asuka found herself violently pushed off Shinji's legs. Shinji blinked loudly twice. "Misato?" He gasped the name of the naked woman who sat on his lower legs. "Yes?" "Why are we all here?" Misato shrugged, causing her breasts to bounce. "Beats me." Shinji sighed. "Let's look around." Misato nodded and stood up, holding out a hand to help Shinji off the floor. Shinji scanned the area. "It looks like a theater of some sort." Misato nodded turned completely around. "Yeah, but where's the audience?" Asuka looked around and peered into the dark shadows. "I don't know, but if there is anyone watching us, I'll beat them up for daring to look at my perfect naked body!!" She glared directly at the reader. "That means you!" "Why aren't you concerned about us seeing you naked?" Rei asked quietly, striking a pose for the reader. Asuka frowned. "I don't know." She looked between the other naked people in the theater and shrugged. "Doesn't seem to bother me." The four of them searched for what might have been hours, but since they couldn't seem to sense the passage of time they had no idea how long it took them. Asuka stood with her legs crossed and sighed. "Four walls, no doors, no bathroom-" She crossed her legs tighter. "-and no way out." "What the hell are we here for!!" Shinji screamed. No one had an answer. -E- -V- -A- Shinji awoke the next morning--or whatever time it was--alone. He looked around the empty theater and frowned. "Where did everyone go?" "Behind you, dumbkopf!" Shinji turned around and say Asuka standing behind him, still naked. "Where did you come from?" He looked around. "I was here all along, idiot." Shinji frowned. "If you say so." Asuka smiled devilishly. "Hey, Shinji?" "What?" "Do you want to kiss me?" "What!! After last time?! No thanks..." Asuka huffed. "Come on... it's boring in this place." "No! Besides what if..." Shinji looked around. "Where are Rei and Misato anyway?" Asuka fumed. "Who cares?!" "I do," Shinji said. "We still don't know what this place is yet, so I think we should stay together." Asuka smiled and slid against Shinji's body. "Okay." "Stop that, Asuka!" The two teenagers turned to see Rei and Misato walking up to them. Shinji stepped backwards away from Asuka. "Hi... um... where were you two?" Rei and Misato shrugged their shoulders. Shinji sighed as their breasts bounced in front of him. -E- -V- -A- Shinji walked into a corner. "Twelve!!" he yelled as he wrote '12' on the corner with a piece of chalk he had found... somewhere. He sighed and continued walking along the wall again until he came to another corner. "Thirteen!" He marked the corner and then continued walking. His eyes went wide when he saw Rei standing patiently at the next corner. "Rei!" Rei looked up from her index finger, which she had just been examining closely. "Oh, Shinji." "I guess th... what are you doing?" Rei held up her finger. "I was examining this green thing that came out of my nose. It is most fascinating." Shinji's jaw dropped. "That's a booger!" "Boo... ger." Rei rolled the word around her mouth while she rolled the booger between her fingers. "What is it for?" "Um... I don't know." "It must have a use..." Shinji tried to remember what he had heard in booger... err... biology class. "Well, I guess it's the result of nose hairs cleaning the air and sometimes caused when you have a cold." "Cold?" Shinji smiled at Rei's lack of common knowledge. "It's a common ailment among humans." "Ah..." Rei nodded and then put the booger in her mouth and swallowed it. "Ack!!" Rei looked quizzically at Shinji. "What's wrong?" "Um... you're not supposed to eat them!" "Oh, but I saw you doing it earlier." Shinji flinched and looked away awkwardly. "Umm... err..." He was saved when Misato called out a question. "Shinji, what corner are you up to?" "Oops... I forgot what I was doing." Shinji turned towards the center of the theater where Misato and Asuka were standing. "I'm back at number one where Rei is. So there are thirteen corners in here..." He looked around the visibly square theater. "Somehow." "That's impossible!" Asuka shouted as Shinji and Rei walked towards her. Shinji shrugged. "Yeah... but that's the count we came up with. Thirteen." Misato shook her head. "From here in the center it just looked like you went around the theater in circles and somehow never caught up to Rei, despite the fact that she never moved." Shinji and Rei walked towards the center. When they reached it, Shinji asked a question. "So what does that mean?" "That this is one seriously fucked up place!" Shinji rolled his eyes. "Thanks, but I was hoping for a more technical explanation." He looked at Misato. "Don't look at me, I think Asuka's right. This is one seriously messed up place." Asuka grinned. "That's not what I said, I said it was... mffphhhh..." Misato's hand cut off her comment. -E- -V- -A- The four of them sat in a rough circle and stared at each other. "So now what?" Asuka asked. "Do you have to keep asking that!" Shinji snapped. "Yes, I do." Asuka sighed. "I'm bored!" "Calm down you two!" Misato scolded. "We're together in this 'theater' for some reason and getting mad isn't going to help any!" "But at least it's something to do!!" Asuka retorted as she flopped onto her back and looked at the ceiling. "I'm bored." Rei silently watched the argument between the others. Her only reaction was an occasional cocking of her head as she observed her fellow theater-mates. Misato thought furiously. "I know! Let's play a game!" "Let's not!" Asuka replied, obviously not in the game-playing mood. Shinji sighed and dropped to the floor. "I don't feel like it." "Well, what do you feel like?" Misato asked. "Staring at the ceiling." Misato frowned. "Well, that's productive." "At least it's not likely to get anyone killed." Misato had no response to that, so she lay down on her back and looked at the ceiling. Rei watched everyone else lay down before she followed suit after a few heartbeats. "Hmmm, this is relaxing," Misato remarked after staring at the ceiling for an indeterminate amount of time. Shinji sighed. "It depends on the ceiling." Asuka started to fidget. "Damn, my buttcheeks are numb. Can you rub them for me Shinji?" "No, Asuka." All four of them stared at the ceiling some more until Rei spoke. "Five thousand, eight hundred and fifty-six." Shinji turned his head towards Rei. "Huh?" Rei looked over at Shinji. "That's how many little holes there are in the ceiling." Shinji looked back at the ceiling. "Wow... I never thought to count the holes while I stared." "Such a boring little boy." -E- -V- -A- Shinji pried open the bent and mangled hatch to Asuka's entry plug. As it clattered onto Unit One's hand, he reached in and pulled the red plug-suited figure out. "Asuka..." No response. "Asuka." No response. "Please, Asuka." No response. Shinji cupped her head in his hands and ran his hand through her blood red hair. "Asuka, please don't die, I love you." Shinji lifted her head gently as if to kiss her. He screamed when the tendons and muscles in her neck tore and dropped the headless corpse back onto Unit One's palm. Shinji screamed louder as he found himself unable to drop her head--which he still held in his hands--or to look away from it. When Shinji grew hoarse from screaming, he went silent. After an eternity of staring at the severed head, he spoke. "Asuka?" Of course, there was no response. Shinji fingered the blood red hair again. "Asuka, I'm sorry." Asuka's eyes snapped open. "You should be, you pencil dick!!" Shinji screamed. -E- -V- -A- Shinji screamed and sat upright, sweating and panting heavily. He looked around the theater and breathed heavily. "Wha... wha... what was that?" "What's your problem?" Shinji looked over his shoulder and saw Asuka walk up to him. "Asuka!!" he jumped to his feet and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I'm so glad..." Asuka smiled as she felt Shinji's warmth flow into her. It was such a pleasant and unexpected sensation that she didn't resist at first. But once a certain boy's oak tree pressed against her leg a half minute later, she reacted. Violently. "Pervert!!" She slugged him hard in the stomach and stormed off. Shinji rubbed his stomach as he watched her storm off to one of the theater's thirteen corners. "Asuka..." he said to himself softly. He looked around the theater. "Shinji?" Shinji looked around and saw Misato. He shuddered as an image of Misato's bloody body leaning against a bloody wall flashed into his head. "No..." Misato frowned and put a comforting hand on Shinji's shoulder. "What's wrong?" Shinji shook his head to clear the disturbing image from his mind. He wasn't entirely successful. "Um... yeah. Just tired, I guess." He stared at the woman in front of him, wondering if she was really there. "What's the last thing you remember before you woke up here?" Misato seemed confused by the unexpected question. "Huh?" Shinji gestured around them at the theater. "Before the theater." Misato concentrated. "B.T. huh? Um... I had just saved you from that commando team." "And after that?" Misato frowned. "Um... the commando team... lots of blood... a kiss or something and then I was here." Shinji absorbed that information as he asked another question. "Why do you think we are all here?" Misato sighed. "If I had to guess, Third Impact must have occurred. It was intended to merge humanity into one consciousness, so this-" She indicated the theater. "-might be all in our minds. It might not be real." She smiled and stroked Shinji's cheek. "Don't worry about it, we'll figure it out." Shinji watched her walk away as nightmare scenes of Asuka and Misato's corpses danced in his head. At the center of the mishmash of images was a very huge and naked Rei, who absorbed Unit One into herself. He looked around the theater. His eyes settled on Rei, who was running around in circles for some reason. He frowned and walked over to her. "What are you doing, Rei?" "Asuka said I had a mark on my butt and I wanted to see what it was," Rei replied, slowing down just a little. Shinji glared at the redhead, who was chuckling in one of the corners. "Rei, stop." He glanced at her backside. "You don't have anything on your butt, she was just joking." "I don't find it funny." Rei stopped rotating and then staggered around from dizziness. Shinji instinctively grabbed for her to keep her from falling down, but grabbed her breast by mistake. "Um..." "Go ahead," Rei said softly. "What?" Shinji gasped, still holding her breast. "Go ahead." Rei wrapped her hands around his wrist and pulled his arm towards her. Instead of just making Shinji's wet dreams come true, his hand and arm went though her breast and into her chest. Shinji screamed. Shinji got an erection. Shinji screamed some more when his erection disappeared into Rei's abdomen, only not through the normal opening. It was absorbed though her skin. As the rest of Shinji's body was drawn into Rei's body, the theater blew up and shattered around the two teenagers become one. -E- -V- -A- Shinji and Rei floated in nothingness. They couldn't see each other, but each of them they felt the other's presence. If one moved their arm, each felt it move. If one brushed their hair, they both sensed it. If one of them snapped their fingers in front of their faces, they both heard and saw it in their minds, even if their eyes didn't seem to see anything. If Shinji scratched his balls, Rei would blush from the sensation. If Rei touched her breast, Shinji would get an erection that Rei would feel as well. If... ah heck, you get the idea. Where am I? Shinji's thought was unspoken, but reached Rei's mind. You are within me and I am within you. Why? Third Impact as brought about by the Human Instrumentality Project that your father initiated and you completed. I did? Yes. How? A pause. Rei? A pause. Sorry, I do not have the words. Asuka and Misato... Are they dead? I do not know. Like the rest of the human race, their spirits still exist. Their physical bodies may or may not be alive. What about us? Are we dead? No. Why are we together like this? We are the center. The center of what? The center of the universe. Why? To allow you to make a choice. A choice? You have to build a world for us. For us? Yes. Um... I like you and all, but... No, not for you and me, for us. That's what I was talking about! No, you were talking about a sexual coupling of our two material bodies on an emotional and physical level. Shinji blinked twice. An amazing feat since he wasn't even sure if he had eyes at that moment, let alone eyelids. Well, what 'US' do you have in mind? The human race. Ah. You still don't understand, do you? No. The human race was destroyed by Third Impact. WHAT?! Can you please not shout your thoughts, I still have a hangover from Third Impact. Sorry. Now about... Third Impact wiped the physical world out, leaving only the sprits of the people. Their spirits? Yes, now they need you to make a choice. A choice? A choice for their future and the future of mankind. Come again? You must make a new world for the next step on mankind's evolution. Me? Um... I'm not that good with building stuff. I made a birdhouse at my old school and ended up killing a dozen swallows. You don't have to use your hands. Then what? Use your mind. "Oh, crap... that's even worse." Shinji suddenly found himself back in the theater. He looked over to see Asuka standing over him. "Asuka?" Asuka had her hands on her hips and was glaring at Shinji. "Who do you think it is, you jerk! Now come on and make a perfect world for us to live happily ever after in!!" She pointed at some blank poster board. "Why me?" "Why not?" Rei said as she knelt down in front of Shinji. Shinji had no answer to that question. -E- -V- -A- Later, Shinji still knelt in the middle of the theater and stared at the large pieces of poster board, which were still blank. He tapped the tip of a marker against the surface. He stared some more. He gasped and drew a simple vertical line. He scribbled out the line. "What was I thinking?!" He twirled the marker in his fingers. He dropped the marker. He stared at the jagged line it had made on his mighty oak. "What the hell are you doing, you moron?!" Shinji looked up and saw Asuka storm over. "I'm trying to think up a world." Asuka stared at the line on his penis. "And writing on your prick is supposed to make a world?" Shinji blushed and covered his penis. "It was an accident!!" "Yeah, right." Asuka picked up the dropped marker and then knelt down in front of the poster boards. "This is how you create a world, dummkopf!!" "Hey!" Shinji reached for the pen, but Asuka swatted his hand away. In the process she also accidentally swatted his mighty oak. Well, the first time might have been an accident, but the two or three times she did it after that weren't. "Stop that! Asuka grinned mischievously. "If you can't make a choice, I will!" "No, you can't do it!" Shinji insisted. "Why not?" Asuka asked, as she drew a picture of a gorgeous woman on the poster board. "Because, you... you-" Shinji went silent suddenly. "Because why?" Shinji thought frantically. He looked around the theater, as if that would give him an answer. The answer walked over and knelt down next to Shinji. "Because only Shinji can do it." Asuka glared at Rei. "Why?" "Because," Rei replied calmly. "Oh, well thanks so much for clearing that up," Asuka replied sarcastically. "You're welcome," Rei said, then looked at Shinji. "How are you doing?" She licked her hand. "Not sooooooo..." Shinji voice rose several octaves as Rei started to rub his penis. "Rei!!" "Stop that, you tramp!!" Asuka shouted, cringing away from the mighty oak as it rose from the forest. "Rei... um... I... ahhhhhh... don't... mmmmmmm.... think.... you...." Rei stopped rubbing and looked up. "There you go." Shinji eye's rolled back into their normal forward facing position. "Um... why'd you stop?" He suddenly realized what he said. "I mean... why'd you do that?" Asuka whacked his head. "Dummkopf, you mean why didn't she finish the hand job!!" "Hand job?" Rei asked, licking her fingers. "Um...wha... she... means... is... err..." Shinji stammered. Asuka interrupted before Shinji wasted eternity explaining. "What you were just doing to Shinji's prick!" "I never knew it had a name. The Commander never called it that." Shinji and Asuka's jaws dropped and caused Forth Impact. Of course, since Third Impact had pretty much destroyed everything already, no one really noticed that it happened. Except for one pregnant cockroach that had somehow survived Third Impact. It had just finished building a little roach hotel for its children to live in when Fourth Impact wiped the would-be inheritors of the world out of existence. "My father... you did that to my father?" "Often." Shinji threw up. Asuka slapped Rei. "You little slut! Why would you do such a thing?!" Rei looked confused. "I was under the impression that it was the polite thing to do." Asuka fumed. "Polite?! That sounds like an excuse an American President would use after he was caught with a hand in his pants!!" Shinji waved his hands in front of him. "Calm down, Asuka. Just because President Gore had a fling with your mother when she was an intern, don't take it out on Rei. She didn't know what she was doing." "Oh, your prick certainly thought she was doing a good job." Shinji blushed. "Shut up!" Rei looked sadly at the ground. "I'm sorry, Shinji, I didn't mean to upset you. I used to clean ink marks off your father's hands all the time." "That's okay..." Shinji trailed off as her words sunk in. "What?!" Rei nodded. "He was always doodling or making notes on them." Asuka was speechless. Yes, Asuka. Shinji studied Rei's face for and sign that she was joking, but Rei's face remained impassive. Shinji burst out laughing. Rei looked confused. Asuka looked confused. Misato ran up to them. "What's going on? I heard this strange sound." Shinji's laughter trailed off and he looked at Misato. "I was just laughing at something." "Oh... I've never heard you laugh before. Why now?" Shinji thought about that for a few moments. "Oh, I just realized how ridiculous this whole situation is." He gestured around the theater. "Just now you are? What an idiot!" Asuka snapped. Shinji chuckled. "Maybe I am, but this idiot has the power to create a world." Before Asuka could make a snide comment about that, Shinji burst out laughing. Misato put a hand on Shinji's shoulder. "I don't think you should take this lightly; you have a serious responsibility here." Shinji looked at Misato. "Yeah, I know. But I have the power to make the world as I want it, don't I? How hard could it be to make a world free of pain and suffering?" The three women just stared at Shinji, so he continued. "I'm going to make a perfect world for us." He pointed down at the storyboards. Misato looked at the storyboards and frowned. "You want to be Asuka's sex slave?" "What?" Shinji followed her gaze. "Asuka!!" Asuka grinned mischievously. "Well, if you couldn't make up your mind..." Shinji grabbed the storyboards. "No! I didn't draw that!" He flipped the storyboards over and then picked up the dropped marker. "Now then... where to start?" The others all looked on silently as he contemplated the blank page. -E- -V- -A- Rei, Misato, and Asuka snored loudly as they slept on the floor of the theater near Shinji, who was hunched over the poster boards. His hands were covered with ink. Rei was sleeping perfectly flat and had her hands resting on her chest right below her breasts, which slowly rose and fell with each breath. Misato was sleeping on her side and snoring loudly. Drool spilled from her mouth onto the theater's floor. Asuka was bent in an odd pretzel shape, with her foot rammed into Misato's back. She shifted and her hand fell onto Shinji's lap. Again. Shinji sighed and pried Asuka's fingers off his penis. Again. "Why does she keep doing that?" He sighed and scooted away from the redhead, knowing that she'd just inch her way over to him again. "Well, I'm almost done anyway." He looked at the last blank poster board and smiled as he started to draw the last piece of his new world. "This is so easy..." A few meters in front of him, a small glowing point of light had slowly started to grow brighter and brighter as he drew on the poster boards. It was about the size of a thirty-six inch television set. Shinji was hoping for a fifty-incher by the time he finished. Asuka would have been content with a twelve-incher, but that's another issue altogether. Shinji finished drawing a long curve and then put the cap back on the marker. "Done!" He stared at the completed storyboards for what seemed like an eternity. "Now what?" He looked over at his sleeping theater-mates and was about to wake them up when the glowing viewpoint caught his eye. "Whaaa..." -E- -V- -A- Later, Asuka awoke in Misato's arms. "Huh??" She blinked a few times to clear her vision and was rewarded with a close-up view of Misato's breasts. "Ack!!" She scooted away as Misato awoke. Misato yawned and then let out a loud burp. "What are you doing, Asuka?" Asuka was still shaking a bit as she looked at Misato. "Nothing..." She adverted her eyes. She unconsciously wiped her mouth off. Misato stood up and scratched her butt. "Man, I needed a good sleep. I felt like I had an hangover for the longest time." She burped again and then looked down at Rei. "Rei?" Rei's eyes snapped open and she rose to a sitting position. "Yes, Ms. Katsuragi?" "How did you sleep?" Rei stood up. "It was a most restful experience." She looked around. "Shinji?" Asuka and Misato followed her gaze and gasped when they saw Shinji standing stiffly in front of the glowing viewpoint. Asuka walked over and waved her hand in front of his blank eyes. "His mind's gone." "I think he finished his perfect world." Misato pointed to the storyboards that were resting on the floor in front of Shinji. "Hot damn! Let's see the world he made for me!" Asuka looked at the viewpoint. "Made for everyone, you mean," Rei calmly corrected the redhead. Asuka smirked knowingly, but frowned when she saw what was on the viewpoint. "That bastard!!" -E- -V- -A- Rei slipped her pajamas off and placed them into the basket in the outer room of the bathroom. Then she slid over the door to the room containing the bathtub. "Need me to scrub your back?" Shinji looked away from his contemplation of the ceiling and at Rei. "Nawww... I'm fine." Rei smiled and then sat down on a little stool and began washing herself. Shinji watched as she rinsed herself off and then walked over to the tub. "Scoot over." Shinji made room for her and then held his hand out to help her into the tub. Rei settled into the tub, letting the warm water spread out across her naked bosom. "Ahhhh..." Shinji blushed and tried to avoid looking at her body. "So, what do you want to do-" -E- -V- -A- Shinji screamed as Asuka twisted his penis. "Dummkopf!! How dare you make a world where you're doing that with another girl!" Asuka pointed at the frozen viewpoint, which showed Rei and Shinji in the tub together. Shinji pulled Asuka's hand away from his sore member and glared at her. "What the hell did you do that for!!" "You made a world where you're with that... that..." Asuka point a shaky finger at Rei. Misato got between Asuka and the others. "Calm down, Asuka, it's his choice. Maybe he just doesn't love you." Asuka glared at Misato. "Good, because I don't love him!" She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Misato looked skeptically at Asuka. "Right." She looked at Shinji. "Shinji, why did you choose that?" She pointed at the viewpoint. Shinji looked nervously at everyone. "Well, I figured it would be the best way to keep an eye on Rei and protect her." Rei looked confused. "Protect me?" "You didn't deserve to be treated like a tool by my father and the others." Rei blushed. "Tha... thank you." "That's no excuse for making a little love shack for you and Wondergirl." Shinji's face fell. "Huh?" Asuka pointed at the viewpoint. "That!" "What's wrong with Rei being my sister?" "Everything! How could... huh?" Two jaws dropped to the floor in shock. A third jaw moved a millimeter downward as well. -E- -V- -A- "So, what do you want to do after school today, Sis?" Shinji asked as he stared at the ceiling. "Well, I was going to go someplace with Kensuke." Shinji grinned. "Make out in the park, huh?" Rei blushed. "No! I...um... well..." Shinji laughed. "I'm just kidding you, Sis. Just don't let him see you like this or he'll go crazy." He winked at his naked sister. Rei blushed more. "Kensuke's not like that. He's a nice boy." "Well, yeah... but even I have trouble remembering that you're my sister sometimes." Shinji glanced down at Rei's body. Rei laughed playfully. "I can see that." She glanced at Shinji's groin. "Maybe we're too old to take baths together." "Maybe..." Rei chuckled and gave her brother a peck on his cheek. "Don't worry, little brother, I'd never do anything to make you upset. Kensuke is always the perfect gentleman when we go out." "I'm only a few minutes younger," Shinji muttered. -E- -V- -A- Asuka blushed and looked away from Shinji, who was still in his trance. "Well...well.... okay then!" She huffed and sat down on the theater floor. "At least I know you'd never do anything with your own sister," she mumbled to herself. Misato turned away from the sulking redhead to hide the smile that formed on her face. She looked at Rei. "Well, it's a start." "Yes..." "I wonder what he did for me?" Misato asked as she looked back at the viewpoint. -E- -V- -A- "Bye Mom, bye Dad!" Shinji and Rei chorused as they left their apartment. "Take care kids!" was their Mother's response. They just heard a loud grunt from their father. Rei and Shinji walked down the hall. They stopped when a door opened in front of them. "Hi, Mrs. Kaji!" Shinji said, snapping to attention in more ways than one. Rei giggled at hearing her brother's voice change pitch as the hormones surged through his body. Misato smiled as she stepped out of her apartment. "Oh, hi kids." She hefted a one-year-old baby against her chest and used her other hand to close her door. "Awwww... he's so cute." Rei smiled and ran her hand through the baby's black hair. "You still need me to baby-sit Saturday?" Misato smiled. "Oh yeah... my husband and I need some time alone before my daughter is born." Misato patted her pregnant belly. She appeared to be in her second trimester or early third. "Mr. Kaji is so lucky..." Shinji muttered. Rei giggled. "Ignore my brother, Mrs. Kaji, he just can't get over the fact that you're not available for his wet dreams anymore." "Rei!!" Misato let out a deep laugh, causing her baby to gurgle. "I've been married for as long as I've known you both." Rei smiled at Shinji. "Yeah, but until you got pregnant and started to show, he used to be able to make believe you were just baby sitting Taro." Misato struck a pose. "My husband thinks pregnant women are very sexy." She bent over a little bit, showing off her cleavage. Blood trickled from Shinji's nose. Misato laughed. "Well, I'm sure Shinji will find a girlfriend." "Oh, he's got one already..." "Huh?" Misato looked at Shinji's surprised reaction. "Does Shinji know about this?" Rei nodded. "He calls her Asuka." Shinji's face went pale and he started to hyperventilate. "Wow, he must be real crazy about her to have that kind of reaction." "I'm not!!" "What's she like?" Shinji tried to keep Rei from speaking, but Rei pushed aside his attempts to silence her. "Tall." Rei put her hand over her head. "Slender." She squeezed her sides in. "HUGE breasts." She cupped her significantly less than huge breasts. "Kind of a rubbery texture, and a big mouth." She stroked her cheek and then opened her mouth wide. Misato tried to avoid laughing, but didn't last long. "He has to blow her up, doesn't he?" Rei nodded. Shinji blushed and took off running down the hallway, screaming all the way. -E- -V- -A- Asuka punched Shinji in the stomach and then kneed him. "How dare you make me a rubber plaything!!" Shinji coughed and tried to catch his breath. "I... I... didn't," he squeaked in a high pitched voice. "Yeah, right!!" Asuka pointed at the viewpoint. "Then what about the rubber thing under that pervert's bed?!" "I don't know..." Shinji shook his head. "Maybe I should have been more specific about some things..." Asuka knelt down in front of the storyboards and started looking at them. "I had better not find a rubber me in here, or you'll never need a slot B to use your tab A in again." She made snipping gestures at Shinji's mighty oak, which was more like a frightened turtle at that moment. -E- -V- -A- "Rei Ikari, A plus. Shinji Ikari, C minus. Touji..." the teacher recited the scores from the last test. He was pretty much being ignored by the class. Touji and Hikari were sitting in the back of the classroom, making puppy dog eyes at each other. Touji mouthed 'I love you, snookie-poo' and Hikari mouthed 'Me too, cuddle-muffin'. The boy sitting at the desk next to them mouthed retching sounds. Kensuke had his head buried in a technical manual for some new VR game that had just opened at the local mall. He was planning on taking the gang there after school, having completely forgotten about his date with Rei. Shinji banged his head on the desk. "Why'd you have to tell Misato that this morning?" Rei sat in the desk next to Shinji. "Sorry, I was just joking." "How'd you know anyway?" Shinji whispered. Rei giggled. "My room is right next to yours, you know." She winked. Shinji went pale. "Okay class, we have a new student. Introduce yourself." "I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu. I was born in America, but I've lived in Germany for the past two years until my mother got a job here in Tokyo." Two loud thuds were heard as Rei and Shinji fell out of their chairs. "WHAT?!" Shinji gasped, looking in disbelief at the non-rubber Asuka. Asuka stared at the prone boy on the ground. "What a little freak." -E- -V- -A- The theater according to Shinji: A gateway to the future? [End - Garden of EVA 2:2 - The Theater Blows] ======================================================================= Author's notes/ramblings: I'd like to thank my pre-readers David Johnston, Michael A. Chase, Thomas Kinnen, EBJ, and Axel Terizaki for helping me find and fix problems with this story. FFML members E.L. Toh and Steven A. Pirrone were also helpful in fine tuning this story. Thank you all. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched characters are my fault. Revision 0.0 - Initial draft began (January 23, 2000) Revision 0.1 - Initial draft completed (February 11, 2000) Revision 0.3 - Pre-reader draft (February 28, 2000) Revision 0.4 - FFML draft (March 12, 2000) Revision 1.0 - Final version (March 27, 2000) Revision 1.1 - First RAAC posting (April 1, 2000)