From: Jim Lazar Subject: [Eva][FanFic][Lime] Garden of EVA 2:6 - Kaworu Blows! X-Moderation-Queue-Date: Tue, 26 Sep 2000 17:51:49 -0700 ======================================================================= Garden of EVA 2:6 - Kaworu Blows! Book 2: Blows Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998-2000 by Jim Lazar A series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion that will blow your mind. "Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese." E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@animeprime.com Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at: http://www.animeprime.com/ff/geva ======================================================================= I offer no excuses for this part: You will get sick and curse the day I started writing fanfiction (that's assuming you haven't already). ======================================================================= Kaworu according to Shinji: The first person to ever say he loved me, so I crushed his body and watched his head plop into a pool of LCL. I wonder why more people don't say they love me? -E- -V- -A- "I'm saying that I love you." Shinji blushed. "Well... err... I..." "Does someone saying they love you upset you?" Shinji smiled awkwardly and looked at a dirty spot on the wall. "Well... err..." "Why does such a simple thing upset you?" He reached out and tenderly touched Shinji's cheek. Shinji flinched. "I... I... I've got a girlfriend!!" "So?" "I... I'm not gay!!" "So?" "I don't want you to shove your dick up my ass!!" "Oh..." The large boy withdrew his member from its position between Shinji's cheeks. "You should have said something earlier." "I... I tried." Shinji relaxed his clenched butt muscles, but kept them on standby in case the boy made another attempt on his... well... you know. "What a wimp." The large boy pulled his prison clothes back on and left the trembling Shinji behind in the laundry hamper where he had finally cornered Shinji after a long and exciting chase through the prison laundry. Unfortunately, the budget does not allow that sequence to be written. Shinji swore to himself. "This blows!!" "Oh, you want a blowjob now?" Apparently he swore to others too. Shinji looked up from his position within the laundry basket and gulped loudly when he saw the large boy towering over him again. "Um... no, thank you." The boy frowned. "Damn." -E- -V- -A- Shinji almost broke down the window separating him from his mother when she came to visit. "Mom! You've got to get me out of this world!!" Yui blinked. "Shinji, suicide is not the answer." Shinji looked confused. "Huh?" "I know things are rough and you're probably getting butt fucked every night, but-" Shinji's jaw dropped as he heard his mother say something he could never have imagined her saying. "Not yet..." he muttered, his sphincter contracting at the thought of all the times he had had to avoid getting a tree implanted up his backside in the two weeks he'd been imprisoned. Yui tilted her head. "What was that?" "Err... nothing." Shinji's blush clashed with the bright orange prison uniform he was wearing. "Anyway... I know things are bad, but wanting to leave this world by suicide is not the answer." Shinji shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I just hoped you were my real mother and could get me out of this crappy world." Yui gasped. "Who told you I wasn't really your mother?" Shinji paused to consider that statement. He shrugged and looked at Yui. "Yeah, whatever... I just need to get out of here." Yui blinked loudly twice. "I... I kind of expected a bigger reaction than that." Shinji sighed. "What does it matter?" He looked up and gestured grandly around the visiting room. "This is all fake. A figment of my imagination. A world I created from the ashes of the world I destroyed." Yui wiped a tear out of her eye and then pressed her hand against the glass. "Oh, my poor baby has lost his mind. You're not a god, Shinji." Shinji nodded. "Yeah, I know. Anyone who would make a messed up world like this is more like a devil than a god." Yui looked sadly at her son. "Shinji, you're not a devil. Sure, you've killed the ex-boyfriend of your half sister--who you've been sleeping with and are going to marry since you've gotten her pregnant--because he beat her up, caused her to miscarry her first baby, and otherwise caused her life to be a living hell, but you're still a good boy." Shinji blinked loudly twice. He paused and then blinked again since he just couldn't figure out how to respond to that. So he chose a different subject. "So, who's my mother?" Yui paused to consider if her son was sane enough to handle this news, but decided he was already a lost cause. "We don't know. We found you floating down a sewage filled canal on our honeymoon." "Hh... hh... honeymoon?" "Yes, your father was always a cheap bastard, so he booked us on a free sewage inspection tour near Hokkaido." Shinji shook his head sadly. "So this is why we're not opposed to your marriage to Rei." Shinji gulped. "We're doing whatever we can to get you out, so try not to get butt fucked before we can figure something out." "Mom, I'm not getting butt fucked!!" "I'll come by tonight, honey!" one of the other inmates in the visiting room called out. "Oh, Shinji. I don't think that boy's your type." Shinji banged his head on the glass. -E- -V- -A- Yui sat down at the dinner table with her husband. "I think he's gone insane from getting butt fucked all the time." Gendou nodded and continued reading his newspaper. "You don't say?" "Yes, and he's talking about killing himself to leave this world." Gendou took a sip of coffee. "Oh, is that so?" "He thinks he made the world we live in." Gendou turned the page. "That's very industrious of him." "I told him he wasn't our child." Gendou's eyes shot wide open. "What?!" He slapped down the paper and stood up. "Why the hell would you tell him that?!" "He seemed to know." Gendou frowned. "Crap... now he'll never listen to me or respect me." Yui tilted her head. "He doesn't listen to you or respect you anyway." Gendou stared at his wife. "How would you know?" "What's there to respect?" Gendou scratched his chin. "Mmmmmm... yes, I see your point." He checked his watch. "Well, I've got to get going. Got a major outbreak of clogged food dispenser nozzles over in the Hito ward that needs my attention." Yui leaned over, gave her husband a kiss, and then handed him his lunch. "Have a good day, Dear." -E- -V- -A- Kaworu leaned over, gave his lover a long, wet kiss, and then handed him his lunch. "Have a good day, Shinji." Shinji was smiling after the kiss. "Hmmm... maybe I'll call in sick." Kaworu giggled. "You're so good to me." He pulled Shinji into another kiss and then they walked down the hall to the master bedroom together. They never made it. Shinji found himself pressed against the hallway wall with his pants around his ankles and Kaworu wrapped around his mighty oak, who was living up to this part's title. Over and over again. Shinji's eyes rolled upwards. "Oh... oh... oh. Oh, Kaworu!!" -E- -V- -A- "Oh, Kaworu!!" A large, muscular man looked up from his task. "The names, Sentaru, but I'm glad you like it." Shinji's eyes snapped open and he saw the gray ceiling. He looked down and saw Sentaru trying his best to get this part named after him. "Oh, crap!! What the fuck are you doing!!" Sentaru paused and looked up at Shinji's face. "Just getting me a taste of heaven." He returned his attention to Shinji's mighty oak. "Ack!!" Shinji backpedaled away from his cellmate and cowered in the corner. "Get away from me!!" "You were asking for it, you jerk!!" Sentaru replied, obviously upset at having his fun interrupted. "Was not!!" "Was too!!" "Was not times two!!' "Was too, infinity!!" Shinji opened his mouth to make his latest reply, but was bathed in light instead. "Will you two shut up!!" the guard at the bars said. "If you're going to have a lover's quarrel, at least make it interesting for the other inmates." "What are you talking about?!" Shinji screamed. "I mean all this 'was not' and 'was too' crap is stupid and childish," the guard explained. "Try insulting each other's looks, or how he never writes to you when he's in solitary, or call him fat and ugly, or tell him his penis is a toothpick, or..." The guard paused as he got a good look at Shinji. "Oh... I guess that last one wouldn't apply to you." Shinji looked down and saw that his prison-issue underpants were around his ankles. "Ack!!" He quickly pulled them up to cover his mighty oak. The guard looked at Sentaru. "You're a lucky guy, Sentaru." Sentaru smirked as the guard turned away and resumed his rounds. "Nothing lucky about it. I saved my cigarette rations for a week to get transferred into his cell and to get Shinji's other cellmates transferred." He clutched his chest and looked upwards as little hearts and flowers floated around his head. "When I first saw him in the shower I said to myself, 'that's the man for you'." He turned his hand upside down and mimed the traditional ball squeezing gesture. Shinji gulped. "I'm not gay!!" The guard chuckled as he turned the corner. "That's what they all say in the first month or so in here." Sentaru looked at Shinji with little puppy dog eyes. "So who's this Kaworu that you keep moaning for in your sleep?" Shinji flinched and looked away. "I don't want to talk about it." Sentaru smirked. "You were calling his name and rubbing yourself and asking for him to blow you." "I was not!!" Shinji frowned and looked at his cellmate. "Was I?" "Well... mostly." "Look... just leave me alone. Whatever you think, Kaworu and I weren't lovers!!" "Then what were you?" "We were..." Shinji paused as he realized he had no answer for that. "I don't know." "So you're not seeing anyone?" "No.." Even as he said that, Shinji realized what his cellmate would make of that. "Yes!! Um... well..." "What's his name." "I'm not gay!!" "What's her name?" Shinji thought furiously. "Um... well... it's complicated." -E- -V- -A- Sentaru rolled on the floor, laughing his ass off. "So you killed this Kaworu then destroyed the world and now you're in hell?" Shinji sighed. "It sure seems like it." Sentaru wiped the tears of joy from his eyes. "That's just so hilarious. I know jail is rough, but calling it your own personal hell is overreacting. I don't think hell has cable TV or guys with cocks as big as yours." "I'm not gay!!" "Yeah... yeah..." "Shinji!!" Shinji looked over at the front of the cell and saw Rei standing there. "Rei!!" He walked over. "How are you?" "Lonely." Rei looked awkwardly at Sentaru and back at Shinji. "How are you? Are you getting butt fucked every night?" "No!!" He glanced at Sentaru. "Not really.. Um..." "Who's the skirt, Shinji?" Sentaru asked, scowling at Rei. "Just a friend." Rei sniffed. "Just... a friend?" "Um.. well..." Shinji thought furiously as he saw Rei's reaction. He turned towards his cellmate. "Sentaru, this is my fiancee, Rei." "What? You're cheating on me?!" "I'm not gay!!" To prove it, Shinji pushed his head through the bars and gave Rei a passionate kiss. He pulled way, leaving a dazed Rei on the other side of the bars. "See?!" Sentaru was drooling. "Why can't you kiss me like that!!" "Because I'm not gay, you jerk!!" "Are you cheating on me, Shinji?" Rei asked teasingly, reassured of her status in Shinji's heart after the kiss. "No!!" Shinji blushed. "I... err..." He suddenly realized what he did. He glanced at Sentaru and realized he didn't have much choice. "Are you convinced yet?" Sentaru sighed. "I guess... Dammit... all the hunks in here are straight." He staggered over to his bunk and collapsed into it, pressing his face into the pillow to hide his tears. Shinji felt sorry for him and took a step towards him, before remembering what he did to him. "Shinji, is your lover's spat over now?" Shinji looked back and smiled nervously at Rei. "Um... err... sorry. Things are kind of weird in here." Rei nodded. "I know. I had my own troubles with lesbians when I was in jail." She smirked. "But I imagine you wouldn't mind lesbians." "No... err... I mean... Rei!!" Shinji was blushing deeply. Rei smiled seductively and reached into the bars and gave Shinji a peck on his trembling lips. "You're so cute when you're flustered." Shinji flinched backwards at the kiss. "What's wrong?" "Umm... nothing." "Ikari, come on!" a guard barked from the cell door, which he was opening. "Huh? What's going on?" "Move it!!" the guard commanded and fingered his sidearm. Shinji moved it real fast. -E- -V- -A- Shinji looked into the small, windowless room he was led into. The walls were made out of cold steel and an old, dirty mattress was shoved in one corner. "What's this?" "Solitary. You've got an hour," the guard said and closed the door. Shinji's eyes went wide. "Solitary!!" He spun around and saw Rei standing beside the large steel door, starting to unbutton her blouse. "Rei!! What are you doing?!" Rei smiled. "I bribed the guards so I could get a conjugal visit with you." "Co... co... conjugal?!" Shinji stuttered. Rei pulled off her blouse, causing Shinji to blush and turn away. "Yeah... I 'm still not pregnant." "Pre... pre... pregnant?!" "Yeah... otherwise my mom won't let us get married. Don't you remember?" Rei put her hand on Shinji's forehead. "Has being butt fucked every night driven you insane?" Shinji's eyes went wide. "No!!" "Then why won't you touch me?" Shinji thought back and tried to remember everything about the last world he created. Certain things popped into his mind. "Well... yeah, but with me in jail... ACK!! Put your bra back on!!" Rei frowned and looked down at her naked chest. "What's wrong with you, Shinji?" Shinji gulped. "Um... nothing. It's just I'm glad to see you." He frowned as he realized something. Rei slipped her panties off and then frowned at the fully clothed Shinji. "What's wrong? Get undressed." She reached for Shinji's belt, but he pulled away. "Wha... what's wrong? Shinji... have you found someone else in here?" Shinji's jaw dropped. "Huh? There's only boys here." "Well... that guy and you seemed to be having a lover's spat," Rei asked, frowning. Shinji tried to see if Rei was being serious or was joking, but couldn't tell. "Um... no... Rei, I'm not gay and I don't have another girlfriend." He wondered if the other Rei qualified as a girlfriend, but decided not to tax his brain by trying to figure out what his relationship with that Rei was. He had enough problems with the Rei in front of him, as evidenced by her starting to undo his belt again. "Good!!" Rei smiled and unzipped his fly. She smiled more when something popped out and greeted her. "Well at least PART of you is happy to see me." "Um... it's not that I'm not happy to see youuuuuuuuuuuu..." Shinji's voice rose several octaves as Rei attempted to usurp this parts title. -E- -V- -A- Shinji sat on the floor and stared at the naked Rei in front of him. "Um... well... sorry, but I can't." "Why?" Rei asked tilting her head. "Because it's impossible!!" "Why?" "Because this isn't real!" "Why?" "Because!" Rei reached out and put her hand to Shinji's cheek. "Do you feel that?" Shinji nodded. "Then it's real." She put her hand over Shinji's heart. "Do you feel that?" "Yes..." Rei picked up Shinji's hand and put it over her heart. And her breast, of course. "Do you feel that?" Shinji's response was in the form of an erection. "Is that a yes?" Rei asked, tilting her head to the other side. Shinji nodded his head slowly. Rei reached out for his erection and began to ask the question again. "Do you..." "What the fuck are you two doing?!" Shinji and Rei looked around in unison and saw a naked redhead storm up to them from across the theater. "I was just explaining to him that we are real." Asuka sneered at Rei. "You were going to grab his penis, weren't you?!" "Yes." "What'll that prove?" Rei remained silent. Shinji looked between the two naked girls, causing his erection to become more pronounced. "Look... this is all a dream, so there's no reason to get angry." Rei shook her head. "This isn't a dream." "Yeah!!" Asuka snapped. "If anything's a dream, it's your world. Our Shinji sure fucked that one up real good." Shinji shook his head in confusion. "I'm sorry, but that story you keep telling me is ridiculous!!" "What's so ridiculous about it?" Asuka demanded. Shinji's chuckled. "Me, the creator of the new world for a humanity that has been reduced to it's simplest components: souls, memories, and some kind of primordial soup?" Asuka smirked. "Yeah, when you put it like that it is ridiculous. *I* would have been a much better choice." "Every time you created a world or made suggestions the result was a disaster," Rei calmly explained. "Well... well..." Asuka scrunched up her face. "So what?!" "And my father... Instead of being the man that overflowed with pride at being able to remove twenty-three beaks out of a single chicken soup dispenser in less than an hour, he is some kind of evil scientist who caused Second Impact and then plotted to cause Third Impact and the end of Humanity?" "That is correct," Rei confirmed. "Finally! Now, was that so hard to accept?" Asuka asked. Shinji ignored Asuka and swallowed hard. "And he turned my mom into some sort of giant robot in a video game?" "The Evas are not robots in a game," Rei remarked. Shinji sighed and nodded. "Right... right... They're mechanically enhanced bio-humanoids created in part from the Second Angel." "That's correct." Shinji shook his head. "And you-" He looked awkwardly at Rei. "-are some sort of clone." "Partly. I was created by fusing an Angel's DNA with my mother's eggs. I am the third to hold my soul. Your Rei is the fourth, but she only has a soul in our Shinji's mind." "How can you say the woman I love has no soul!" "It is the truth. You have no soul either. Until Shinji returns and frees the souls from me, that world is just a possibility, not a reality." Shinji's head hurt. "Fine... fine... So where is Ritsuko, your mother?" "Ms. Akagi is not my mother in reality." Rei looked over towards Misato, who was picking her nose. "Ms. Katsuragi is." Shinji's jaw dropped. "I never thought of Misato as the motherly type." Asuka smirked. "Don't you have a one in three chance of being the father of Misato's child?" Shinji gulped. "Who told you about that?!" Asuka sighed. "We can see everything that goes on in your world. Our Shinji created it, remember?" Shinji rolled his eyes. "Yeah... right." A really bad thought suddenly occurred to him. "Everything?" Rei nodded. "Yes." Shinji blushed. "Yes, we know all about you jerking off in the bathtub." Shinji paled. "That's okay, Shinji, all boys do it," Rei remarked softly. Asuka laughed. "Of course, most boys don't talk to their dicks like you do." "I do not!!" Shinji shouted. "I talk to the naked girls.. I... visualize." Shinji gulped as he realized that two of the most frequent girls he fantasized with were in front of him and naked. He glanced to the side as a third member of his top ten list of fantasy babes walked over, naked as the last time Shinji jerked off... err... 'meditated' to her mental image. He wasn't sure if the theater was a dream or not, but his fantasies were never this detailed. They were generally less confusing, though. "Will you girls stop upsetting Shinji?" Misato asked as she strode over. She looked at Shinji and put a hand on his shoulder. "How are you, Shinji?" "Confused, irritated, angry, and I want to get out of here!!" Misato nodded. "You're a lot like our Shinji." Shinji sighed. "Not this again!!" Misato knelt down in front of Shinji and took his hand. "I know this is difficult, but what we're telling you is the truth." Shinji tried to look somewhere where there wasn't a naked girl, so he ended up looking at the ceiling. "And you expect me to accept the fact that I'm just a figment of the REAL Shinji's imagination?" Rei put her hand on Shinji's leg. "You are more than that. As long as your world exists, you are real." "Gee, that's comforting." Shinji sighed and made the mistake of looking down. "Why are you all naked anyway?!" he blurted as he tried to hide his erection. The three name women exchanged looks and then shrugged in unison, causing their breasts to bounce in unison. Shinji sighed. "Well, for a dream it's not that bad." His eyes started to spin as he tried in vain to follow the bouncing nipples. -E- -V- -A- "Okay, assume for a moment that I accept that explanation-" Shinji said after they explained everything to him again. Actually, for the fifth time. "-but how do I get back to my world?" The naked women exchanged a worried look and then looked back at Shinji. Three shrugs later, Shinji looked away from the spinning nipples. "Can you stop doing that!!" "What?" Misato asked. "Shrugging!!" "Why?" Rei asked. "Because your boobs bounce when you do!!" "I turn you on, huh?" Asuka grinned. "Wonderbar." Shinji's eyes went wide as Asuka jumped at him like a starving wolf. "Ack!!" His head hit the theater floor hard as a naked redhead writhed on top of his body. His oak tree rose to the occasion. "Fascinating. This Shinji's penis responds one point four eight seconds faster than the penis on our Shinji," Rei remarked as she bent down to examine the penis in question. Misato looked oddly at Rei. "Aren't you more concerned with Asuka tackling Shinji? You are dating, aren't you?" Rei started to shrug her shoulders, but stopped and shook her head instead. This caused her breasts to shimmy to the sides. She didn't need to worry, Shinji was too preoccupied by having Asuka's breasts pressed into his face to notice Rei's breasts. Misato looked worried at Rei. "Rei, as your mother I really have to suggest you fight for your man if you want to keep him." "This isn't my Shinji." She glanced at the viewpoint. "My Shinji is in a world of his own making." "Yeah... but..." Before Misato's worries were realized, Shinji pushed Asuka off his chest and stood up. "Stop it, Asuka! I don't love you!! I love Rei!" Rei's heart skipped a beat. She looked down at her naked chest. "Fascinating." Asuka spat on Shinji. "Why! What does she have that I don't?!" "I've told you all this before!!" "No you haven't!!" Shinji sighed. "Right... you're not MY Asuka, but you sure seem like my Asuka. Always mad, always violent, always a bitch!!" "What did you say?" Asuka asked as she stomped towards Shinji. Shinji gulped and backed away. "Um... sorry..." "You will be!!" Asuka shouted and raised her hand to send Shinji to the next world. And she didn't mean a world they create in the theater, she meant the afterlife. Of course depending on their religion, some people might consider the theater to be the afterlife, just with more young naked girls than one would expect in the afterlife. Well, that would probably depend on your religion and how horny you are when you think of what the afterlife would be like, I imagine. Shinji had seen that expression and that upraised hand all too often from his Asuka to not know what was coming next. So he ducked and jumped right against Asuka's naked chest. Shinji put his hand to Asuka's cheek and smiled. Asuka's eyes widened at Shinji's unexpected touch, both his hand and the feeling of his naked body pressed against her body. "Asuka, you're a dear friend and in another world we could have been lovers, but I can't hide my feelings for Rei." Rei's heart skipped a beat again. So did Asuka's. "In other worlds we were lovers." She decided not to mention how bad those worlds turned out to be. Shinji paused to remember what they had told him about the other worlds he--or his other self--had made. He looked around the theater. "Shinji, please don't stand so close to Asuka," Rei said, tugging at his arm. Asuka grinned at Rei. "What's the matter, jealous?" "No, I just don't want him to upset that other Rei." "You want him for yourself, that's all. You can't wait to kiss him, I bet." "No, I want my Shinji back so I can have hot, unbridled monkey sex with him." Asuka's jaw dropped. Shinji's was just a bit behind her's. "Rei, I don't want to sound overprotective, but I don't think I can condone that." Rei scrunched up her face. "Aw, Mom! You never let me have any fun!!" Asuka smiled. "Well, that leaves him to me then." She wrapped her arms around Shinji and pressed her breasts into his scrawny chest. "Want to have some fun while you're here?" Shinji turned bright red, which fortunately kept Asuka from being impaled by Shinji's penis as the blood was needed to form the blush. Not that Asuka would have minded being impaled, mind you. "Um... well..." Shinji's resolve to live out a fantasy in what he presumed was a dream faltered. "No..." Rei hissed and pulled Shinji away from Asuka and into her bosom. Asuka smirked. "Ha!! I knew you wanted this Shinji too!!' Rei shook her head. "I'm just keeping him from cheating on my other self. We Reis have to stick together." She spoiled her statement by tightening her grip on Shinji, thus pressing him into her breasts more. Misato pulled Shinji out of Rei's arms. "That's enough, girls." In the process of being pulled away from Rei, Shinji got a real close look at something his classmates would die to see: Misato's naked chest. He smiled as he realized he was without a doubt dreaming, since he had had dreams like this all the time. Well, dreams about being pressed into various girls' naked chests, not in the afterlife disguised as an old, run-down theater. "Now.. now... why don't we all stop fighting and get down to some serious sex?" He jumped onto Misato, tackling her. "Shinji!" Misato gasped as Shinji started sucking on her breasts. "Ack... you pervert!!" Asuka snapped and then kicked Shinji where the sun don't shine. Since there was no sun in the theater, that meant she pretty much kicked him repeatedly all over his body. "Don't hurt him too much before I get my turn to have sex with him." Asuka stopped her kicks to stared at Rei in amazement. Misato stopped wiping the slobber off her breasts. "That's not sex, Rei." "No need to fight, girls, there's plenty of me to go around," Shinji explained and pulled all three of them into his arms. Later, he leaned against one of the theater walls and rubbed his sore head, then his sore shoulder, then his sore ass, then his... you get the idea. "I guess this isn't a dream after all." He moved his leg and flinched. "Dreams can't possibly hurt this badly." -E- -V- -A- Shinji sat on the floor and stared at the naked Rei in front of him. "Um... well... sorry, but I can't." "Why?" Rei asked tilting her head. "Because it's impossible!!" "Why?" "Because this isn't real!" "Why?" "Because!" Rei reached out and put her hand to Shinji's cheek. "Do you feel that?" Shinji nodded. "Then it's real." She put her hand over Shinji's heart. "Do you feel that?" "Yes..." Rei picked up Shinji's hand and put it over her heart. And her breast, of course. "Do you feel that?" Shinji response was in the form of an erection. "Is that an yes?" Rei asked as she pulled down his prison pants. She bowed her head and wrapped it around the aforementioned reaction. Shinji arched his back and gasped. "Err.... oh... ahhhh.... YES!!" Rei smiled as she pulled away from her handiwork. "That was definitely a yes." She pulled Shinji's pants off and then slid on top of him. "Time to make a baby." Shinji's mind screamed for Rei to stop, but his mind wasn't in control of his body at that moment. Something else with a 'head' was. -E- -V- -A- "Ha!! He's thinking with his dick again!!" Asuka turned away from the viewpoint and looked at Shinji. "Looks like our Shinji is screwing your fiancee." Asuka smirked. Shinji wasn't happy. Shinji's face was red. Smoke was pouring out of his ears. "How dare I screw my own fiancee!!" Rei blinked. Asuka blinked. Misato blinked. "Do you want to rephrase that?" Shinji glared at the three naked women. "No! I don't know if I believe all this, but if *I* don't get to live out any fantasies with the chicks here why the hell is he screwing my fiancee!!" "Chicks?" Misato asked, smiling. "Who the fuck are you calling a chick, you bastard!!" Asuka bellowed and twisted Shinji's favorite appendage, which was her favorite appendage too. "We have no birds in the theater, but I can flip you the bird if you want," Rei remarked, and raised her left appendage and saluted with her middle digit. Shinji freed himself from Asuka's grip and backed away. He saw a very angry redhead staring at him. Then he glanced at the viewpoint, which showed his Rei pulling off Shinji's T-shirt. "That mother fucker!!" The three nekid chicks flinched at Shinji's angry response. Shinji was breathing heavily as he looked at the three naked women. "Fine, if that's the way he want's it... I'll just have sex with..." Asuka smiled and jumped into Shinji's arms. "I'm all yours, you stud muffin!!" Shinji dropped Asuka. "Not you..." He looked at Rei. "Rei, would you like to go..." He looked around the theater. "Um... to a corner with me?" Rei smiled and nodded emphatically. Shinji glanced back at the viewpoint, only to see the other Shinji pressed into his Rei's breasts. He walked towards Rei and grabbed her hand. Together, they set off for a corner. "Excuse me." Rei and Shinji looked back around at Misato. "There is no way I'm going to let you sleep with my daughter to get back at yourself for sleeping with your fiancee." Misato crossed her arms over her breasts and looked very motherly. Except for being naked, of course. Of course, most mothers were naked when they became mothers, so maybe it's natural for a mother to be naked. At least that's what the author tells Misato when she complains about being naked all the time. Shinji looked at Rei and then back at Misato. "I am sick and tired of parents fucking up my love life!!" Rei nodded. "I'd like to be filled with his manhood, Mother." Misato sighed and looked at her daughter. "Rei, do you love *THIS* Shinji?" "What is love?" Rei replied. Misato's eyes went wide. "Oh no!! I'm not explaining anything else to you!" She glanced at Asuka, who was pouting on the floor. Asuka looked away. "Don't look at me. I'm not talking to any of you until Shinji has sex with me." "It'll be quiet then," Rei said softly "What was that?!" Asuka screamed and jumped from the floor. Rei tilted her head and raised her voice. "I said it'll be quiet in here then." A redheaded blur flew across the theater and tackled Rei. Since Shinji had been naked and holding her hand, he crashed face first to the floor with the two naked teenage girls. The fact that they were naked may seem unnecessary to mention, but as you'll soon see, it is very important. Shinji's head landed on Rei's breasts and Asuka's breasts landed on Shinji's head. Head of Shinji sandwich. Now, Shinji was a healthy boy and the sensation of being pressed between two sets of firm, teenage breasts caused a certain physical reaction. Normally that would be a good thing, especially if the girls belonging to the breasts were willing to relieve the aforementioned physical reaction by a number of oral, tactile, and vaginal methods. Which both of them were in this case. But Shinji had one problem. Well, he had one MAJOR problem at that moment and a whole series of other problems lined up behind it. First things first. His major problem at that moment was a knothole in the wooden floor of the theater floor. That knothole now had a rather large oak tree wedged in it. And the fact that Asuka was doing her best to make Shinji lick her breasts was only causing that oak tree to expand more. So despite his position between Rei and Asuka's breasts, Shinji was in incredible pain and unable to withdraw his member from the small knothole. "Come on... come on... suck those puppies!!' "Are you enjoying my breasts, Shinji?" "Gaaaaa..." -E- -V- -A- Shinji lips were wrapped around Rei's nipples and sucking gently on them. Rei's response disagreed with that thought. "Ahhhh...." Shinji's thoughts were interrupted when Rei wrapped her hand around his penis. "Ahhh.... um.... er...." His eyes rolled upwards suddenly. Rei smiled as she felt Shinji's body press her down onto the cold steel floor of the cell. "Wouldn't the mattress be more comfortable?" She glanced at the old mattress in the corner. "Err... yeah." Shinji slid off Rei and helped her up. "Sorry." Rei sat down on the mattress, causing the rats calling the inside of it home to scurry away. "Why are you so nervous? It's not like it's our first time." "It is..." "What?" Shinji eyes went wide at his mistake. "Um... err... I... um... I mean the first time we've made love in a prison cell." Rei smiled and ran her hand through Shinji's hair. "No... there was that night we spent together in the Osaka-2 jail." Shinji scrunched up his face and tried to remember the time the other Shinji spent in jail. "Um... we just held hands, didn't we?" Rei nodded as she reached out and took Shinji's hand. "Yes, but to me that was making love." She tightened her grip on his hand. "Just your touch is enough to calm my troubled soul." She pulled him down onto the mattress and placed her head against this chest. "Just to know that you love me." She traced his lips with her fingertips. "Just the sound of your voice." She reached up and gave him a long kiss. "I love you." Shinji gulped. "Yeah... me too." As Rei slid into his arms, alarm bells started to go off in Shinji's brain. He blinked. Rei cupped Shinji's cheek with her hand. "What are you thinking?" "Oh... just about how I love Rei," Shinji replied without thinking. Nothing new about that. Rei smiled. "And I love Shinji." She slid her tongue into Shinji's mouth and pressed her naked body against Shinji's chest. Shinji got lost in thought again. He made the mistake of looking into Rei's eyes. His lips slid down Rei's neck and together they slid onto the mattress. "Shinji! You're free!!" Shinji and Rei's gaze shot to the steel door as it was slammed open to reveal his mother and father. "That's my son!!" After bashing her husband with her purse, Yui looked between the two teenagers. "Rei? How did you..." Rei smiled nervously. "Sorry, Mrs. Ikari... I couldn't stand being away from him so I bribed the guards." Yui sighed adverted her eyes from her naked son and his fiancee. "Well, get dressed and we can go." Shinji slid off Rei and retrieved their clothes. "Um... what did you mean I'm free?" "They just dropped the charges for some reason." Shinji pulled his pants on. Gendou walked over and slapped his son's shoulder, causing Shinji to flinch. "Come on, Son, let's go and forget this whole thing happened." Shinji marveled at the kind look on his father. He looked at his mother and smiled. "Let's go home." Yui smiled and pulled her son into a hug. "Yes, let's go home." -E- -V- -A- Shinji was smiling as the sun's bright light blasted his face as he stepped onto the front steps of the Tokyo-3 Juvenile Hall. He had Rei on one side and his parents on the other; all of their arms were intertwined together. "Hey, buttwad!" Shinji looked at the sound of the voice and saw the face of the boy he had killed, twice. "No!!!!!!" "Don't think it's done with us," the image of Kaworu said as it faded away. Shinji dropped to the ground and wrapped his arms around his legs. "No... no... no..." Rei and Yui dropped down to his side in unison. "What's wrong, Shinji?" both women asked in unison. "I... I... killed Kaworu!!!" "Yes, we know, but don't yell it out like that. We still don't know if you'll stand trial for murdering Rei's old boyfriend," Gendou explained in a straightforward and emotionless way. The same way the real Gendou used to talk to Shinji. Shinji sneered at his father. "Shut up!! You're the reason I killed him!! You bloodied my hands when you almost killed Touji with Unit One!! You made it easy for me to crush Kaworu's body into a bloody pulp with Unit One's hand!! You setup Third Impact and made my life a fucking hell!!" Three sets of eyes blinked twice. "Oh... being butt fucked every night has driven my baby insane." Rei looked into Shinji's eyes and found only anger and turmoil. "Shinji, don't let this get to you. Hasamoto was a jerk and would have killed you and me without any hesitation." Shinji snapped. "No!! Kaworu loved me!!" He fell forward and started pounding the pavement. "And... and... I LOVED HIM!!" Rei flinched. Yui flinched. Gendou swore. "Dammit... my son's gone gay from being butt fucked every night!" Shinji jumped at his father and put his hands around his father's neck. "I did not get butt fucked every night and don't you dare say anything bad about Kaworu!!" Gendou knocked his son away by instinct. "Shinji..." Shinji had tears in his eyes when he looked up from the ground where he had fallen and saw the three of them hovering nearby with concern on their faces, even his father. "Don't pity me!! I don't deserve it!! I killed the one person who ever loved me! I killed Kaworu!!!" "Sorry, fuckwad, but I don't love you. And if it wasn't for the cops holding me, I'd kill you where you stand for even thinking that I'm gay. Even if I was, I'd never love a wimp like you." Shinji's eyes went wide when he recognized the voice. "Kaworu!!" He looked around and saw Kaworu--who everyone in this world knew as Hasamoto--standing between the two cops who were holding onto the chain attached to Hasamoto's handcuffs and leg shackles. "No... you're dead..." Hasamoto sneered. "No... I won't die until I get back at you and that tramp!" Shinji launched himself at Hasamoto. The two cops reacted to protect their prisoner, but even they were unprepared for what Shinji did. Shinji's lips met Hasamoto's and pressed firmly as he savored the feeling of being near Kaworu again. When the kiss ended, Hasamoto was staring bugeyed at Shinji. "I love you too, Kaworu." -E- -V- -A- Kaworu according to Shinji: The first person to ever say he loved me and now I can return that love in this world I made. [End - Garden of EVA 2:6 - Kaworu Blows!] ======================================================================= Author's notes/ramblings: Yeah, I was saving the most twisted things for last. This is the end of Garden of Eva. I hope you enjoyed it. Oops... I forgot, I still have more things to blow apart. Get ready for 2:7, because you won't believe what blows there. I'd like to thank my pre-readers Michael A. Chase, David Johnston, and Thomas C. Kinnen for helping me find and fix problems with this story. FFML members Mark Ferrer, Dave Menard, Jon L. and Jose Argao were also helpful in fine tuning this story. Thank you all. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched characters are my fault. Revision 0.0 - Initial draft began (July 1, 2000) (started in line for the Escaflowne movie at AX2000) Revision 0.1 - Initial draft completed (July 14, 2000) Revision 0.3 - Pre-reader draft (July 25, 2000) Revision 0.4 - FFML draft (August 13, 2000) Revision 1.0 - Final version (September 4, 2000) Revision 1.1 - First RAAC posting (September 13, 2000) (Yes, the day Third Impact occurred)