From: eltf@hotmail.com (Eliot Lefebvre)
Subject: [Eva][FanFic] Neon Epoch Evangelion: Episode 5
X-Moderation-Queue-Date: 19 Jun 2002 03:54:27 -0700

All the cool kids have a pre-story warning:

This fanfic is an original take on GAINAX's "Shin Seiki Evangelion."
It contains alternative characters, plots, and a different overriding
internal logic.  It is intended, from the beginning, to be different.
This includes different Children and different histories.  In short: if 
the mere thought of someone other than Shinji in the cockpit of EVA-01 
makes you queasy, you are in -entirely- the wrong place.  Any and all 
flames stemming from this alteration will be mocked mercilessly.  You 
have been warned.

Well, the schedule around this puppy is screwed up, but then again it's 
never been quite on time with this 'fic.  And if you've been checking 
the archive, you'll know that it's already there.  Ach.  Anyhow, here's 
Episode 5, which I have surprisingly little to say about.  Enjoy.

Oh, and you can read all of this and Episode 6 right now on the archive 
at http://www.lostfactor.net/nee.html - so why aren't you?  In fact, I 
hear the rest of the site is really great too. ;>

Yeah.  On with the episode.  Really.

                                  ]++[

               ]+ ELECTRONIC TRANSCENDENCE PRODUCTIONS +[
                                presents

                         ]+ NEON       EPOCH +[
                   ]+ E  V  A  N  G  E  L  I  O  N +[

                       ]+ EPISODE 5: LEVIATHAN +[

                     By Eliot "Lostfactor" Lefebvre

             Based off of "Shin Seiki Evangelion" by GAINAX

                                  ]++[

No one is fierce enough to rouse him.
     Who then is able to stand against me?
- JOB 41:10

                                  ]++[

It was an unusually warm day, even for Tokyo-3, and as Eiko reached to 
her forehead to brush the beads of sweat away she wondered if it might 
have something to do with the prior day's battle against the Fifth 
Angel.  She'd heard Ritsuko mention something about the particle 
disturbance thrown up by each blast that EVA-01 fired, and having 
experienced its attacks she would be willing to guess that the Angel 
could have left more than enough have residual heat in the area.  She 
frowned at the thought, glancing down to her thin red blouse, the 
lightest long-sleeved shirt she owned that was still too thick for the 
season.  She'd even caved in and worn jean shorts, but still the heat 
insisted for lighter material.

A cough from her left turned her attention back towards Hikari, and she 
blushed slightly, feeling a little silly for having not paid attention 
to her friend.  "Sorry," she said, grabbing the front of her blouse and 
flapping it, trying to get some cooling air into the shirt.  "It's just 
too hot out today to focus on anything.  Good thing that we're not in 
school, or nobody would be paying attention."

"-I- would," insisted Hikari, and Eiko flashed her a quick smile before 
giving a slight giggle at the concept.  Hikari took her position as 
class representative far too seriously sometimes, something that Eiko 
found astonishing given the young girl's other tasks.  Mercifully 
enough, however, Eiko had been able to drag the brunette away from 
housecleaning duties to the hill where Eiko had first met Neil, a hill 
that now provided an excellent view of the Fifth Angel as NERV 
struggled to break it down and move it.  "If it's so hot out, why did 
you wear a long-sleeved shirt?"

Eiko sighed, then pulled up one of the sleeves slightly, revealing the 
criscrossing pattern of red marks that extended down from her wrist.  
Hikari gasped lightly, and Eiko shrugged, pulling the sleeve back 
down.  "They didn't mention exactly how painful things are," noted 
Eiko, sounding just slightly bitter.  "Oh, sure, the Evas have armor, 
but it doesn't feel like it on the inside - it felt like the damn thing 
had set me on fire and then gone after me with a knife."

Hikari spread her arms sympathetically, and Eiko leaned over, letting 
her friend give her a quick squeeze before they both returned to their 
prior positions, Eiko with her legs extended and arms propping her up 
against the ground, Hikari with her knees drawn up to her chest and 
arms dangling around them.  "Weren't you scared?" she asked, eyes wide 
with curiosity.  "Knowing what that thing was able to do to Vash... I 
know that I would have been terrified."

"Yeah, I was scared," replied Eiko, sinking her head slightly at the 
thought.  She felt some measure of guilt for not being in time to keep 
Vash out of harm's way, but she had to admit that she was glad it had 
been him that went up first instead of her.  "But I knew that Neil 
would protect me."  The thought of the blonde boy made her smile again, 
his green eyes standing out in her mind with their unique light shade.  
"He's amazing.  Even if he isn't the best pilot, he feels more 
determined than anybody, like he could destroy the Angels by force of 
will alone."

"Sounds like quite a guy," noted Hikari, a touch of cynicism sounding 
in her voice.  Eiko looked over to her friend, but she was still 
smiling, though there was a touch of sadness to her.  Before Eiko could 
take a guess at what was bothering her, however, the girl spoke up, her 
voice cracking slightly.  "He did put Toji in the hospital, though.  
And they're still not sure when he'll get out."

"I know," replied Eiko, sounding more resentful than she had meant to 
despite herself.  The information from the doctors came daily, but 
after being nearly crushed by a collapsing building there didn't seem 
to be a particularly good prognosis for Eiko's elder brother.  There 
were questions about whether or not he would ever walk again, and every 
so often his condition would start drifting towards critical and send 
Eiko's entire household into a flurry of panicked activity.  "But that 
wasn't his fault, not really.  He was trying as hard as he could.  He 
just was outclassed by the Angel."

"Probably," replied Hikari, sounding as though she genuinely believed 
Eiko but still had some nagging doubts in her head.  "I... I don't 
blame Neil, not really, I just wish that I knew Toji would be all 
right."  She sighed, then glanced at her watch, eyes widening slightly 
at the display.  "It's 9:30.  We should probably head towards NERV, 
then I head back to housework."

Eiko nodded, and both girls rose to their feet, Eiko trying her best to 
remember Neil's directions into the locker room.  It was a complicated 
facility, and the fact that she'd only been in it once under a high-
stress situation only made things worse.  "I wonder if Neil will be 
there," she muttered to herself, drawing a stare but not a comment from 
Hikari.  For a split second, she found herself wondering about what 
made him captivating to her, but she shoved the thought out of her 
head, knowing that there were other matters to deal with.  Glancing one 
last time at the remains of the Fifth Angel, she kept heading towards 
NERV, trying her best to ignore the sweat seeping out from beneath her 
skin.

                                  ]++[

Despite the other thoughts swimming around in his head, Neil found 
himself feeling rather pleased with himself as he rewound one of his 
movies, listening to the gentle whir of the VCR as he leaned back on 
the couch and stared at the ceiling.  He'd felt bad about being pleased 
with Vash's injuries, he'd felt bad about the fact that he'd caused 
Eiko pain, and he felt bad about not having been at Central Dogma fast 
enough.  But despite all of that, he felt as though he'd regained both 
Eiko and Misato's goodwill, and that was a prize more than worth the 
few negative feelings about who he was.

Misato, for her part, was thumping about in her bedroom a few meters 
away, ostensibly getting dressed, though Neil wondered what sort of 
dressing procedure required a large amount of noise and the occasional 
Japanese curse.  The longer he spent around Misato, the more he became 
convinced that she acted responsible at work because she had to, that 
if she could have swaggered in and had a grand time directing the Evas 
on the surface she would have.  Glancing towards the half-opened door, 
Neil briefly found himself considering peeking inside, then shook his 
head and scolded himself for the thought.  "Come on, you're finally 
managing to be a decent person," he muttered, smirking to himself.  
"Don't screw it up now like you usually do."

Closing his eyes, he flashed back to the momentary embrace between he 
and Eiko, something that managed to feel more real than anything else 
from the previous few days.  Even with the blood-stench of LCL floating 
in the cockpit and the knowledge that she was hurt, simply feeling the 
warm embrace of someone who he knew might like him was electrifying, 
something that he hadn't felt in too long a time.  It felt almost like 
a benediction, as if with one hug Eiko had absolved him of everything 
that he'd done wrong since his arrival, that a single piece of human 
contact made everything brighter once again.

A few final thumps came from the bedroom, and the door creaked open, 
Neil looking towards it almost unconsciously.  He knew that part of 
that was on the off chance that the door had opened before Misato had 
finished changing, but he pushed the thought out of his mind, 
determined to feel at least decent about himself for the rest of the 
day.  It turned out to be an empty suspicion anyways, as Misato stepped 
out a second later in the same black dress she'd worn the day Neil had 
met her, red jacket slung over her shoulder.  "You look good, Misato," 
he noted, nodding his approval.  "I didn't think you were going into 
work today, though.  I was getting a movie ready."

"Didn't I tell you?" asked Misato, her face wrinkling into a frown at 
the thought that she'd forgotten.  Neil felt a knot beginning to form 
in his gut, a familiar memory pushing itself back to the surface, and 
he turned away from Misato, stopping the VCR and turning it off with 
the remote.  "I didn't tell you.  Neil, I'm sorry, I must have 
forgotten."  She paused, noticing that his face was drawn tightly.  "To 
be fair, I had a lot of other things that I -"

"It's not you," Neil interjected, shaking his head and shoving the old 
thoughts back in the dark little recesses of his mind where they 
belonged.  "You just reminded me of... someone that I used to know."  
Sighing deeply, he shut off the television and turned towards Misato, 
his face neutral once again.  "So, then.  What did you forget to tell 
me?"

"The convoy carrying the Second and Sixth Children is only about a 
day's travel away," she replied, flopping down on the couch next to 
Neil.  Neil, for his part, was doing his best to avoid the sensation 
that Misato had given him, reminding himself that there was no alcohol 
upon her breath and that she'd genuinely forgotten.  "NERV wants me to 
go over to greet them, especially since..."  She paused, biting her 
lower lip for a second, a gesture that Neil didn't notice.  "Well, 
Commander Ikari has his reasons.  The big thing is that they want for a 
member of the staff to meet them on the boat, for diplomatic reasons."

Neil nodded, trying hard to focus on what Misato was saying instead of 
his own bitterness, reminding himself that there were more important 
things to consider.  "Are you going to be riding back with them?" he 
asked, slouching slightly in his seat, fixing his eyes on the green 
fabric of the couch, his determination to feel good about himself 
slowly eroding from within.

"-We're- going to be riding back with them," replied Misato, drawing 
Neil's attention back towards her.  She smiled broadly, winking at him 
and flashing a victory sign with her fingers.  "NERV doesn't just want 
a member of the administration on the voyage - they want their best 
pilot, too.  The flight leaves at around 10:30, and we should be there 
by 11.  Then we just get to enjoy a bit of a cruise until we get back 
into Tokyo-3's harbor."  Looking at Neil, her eyes widened slightly, 
noticing that he was obvious displeased with Misato's news.  "What's 
wrong?  Don't you like boats?"

"You just decided that I'd come along, without even asking me," he 
muttered, standing and turning away from Misato once again, holding the 
back of his head tightly and closing his eyes as he paced.  "Hell, you 
didn't even decide that I got to be -told- that we were going until it 
was too late to do anything about it -"

Before he could continue on his tirade, Neil was stopped by Misato's 
hand on his shoulder, pulling him around and making him realize that he 
was failing dramatically to keep his mind off of less pleasant 
thoughts.  "Neil, I know that I should have told you, and I'm sorry," 
Misato said, her voice measured and calm.  If Neil hadn't seen the 
concern on her face, he would have been certain that she was furious 
with him.  "What's going on?  I know that I didn't get a chance to tell 
you about this beforehand, but it seems like this is really getting to 
you."

"I know, I know," replied Neil, shaking his head and scolding himself 
internally, reminding himself that dwelling on his past failures wasn't 
a good idea.  "It's just... something that I got used to once before, a 
situation that I hate.  Nothing that you did."  He sighed, sinking his 
head and staring at Misato's feet.  Almost instantly he felt his eyes 
tracing the path of her pantyhose, and he shut them, feeling even worse 
about prior events.  "So.  When do we leave?"

Misato cocked her head slightly to one side, trying to figure out what 
was wrong with Neil.  An answer presented itself almost immediately, 
but she pushed it out of her mind out of discomfort.  "Hey.  Don't look 
so sad."  Neil stared up at her, and the look in his eyes brought back 
the same uncomfortable thought.  She pondered for a second if it made 
her uncomfortable because of what it said about his past or because of 
what she was, but then forced herself to forget it, smiling and tugging 
Neil forward.  "Now, get some clothes together, and we'll head down to 
the airfield.  You might actually enjoy yourself as a dignitary."

"Heh."  The thought made Neil smile a little, and he shook his head as 
he stepped into his room, trying to figure out what he could bring and 
not worry about the next day.  He felt bad about being so awkward 
around Misato, but the memory of being forgotten by people he cared 
about was too strong in his mind, still fresh even with the time 
between.  "And I guess I do care about Misato," he muttered, smiling to 
himself as the words passed his lips.  He'd known it, but he hadn't 
really admitted it - the woman had something about her that made her 
likable, even when she did things that angered him.  Sighing heavily 
but painlessly, he grabbed a shirt from his bureau, trying to figure 
out if he should bring another pair of pants.

                                  ]++[

NERV's planes, Neil discovered, had apparently been designed by the 
same team that had come up with the aerodrones.  It would have been 
visible to anyone that had seen the drones before that there were 
obvious design similarities - tilt-wing thrusters, a blocky body with 
an almost awkward tail behind it, short wings - but on the inside, it 
seemed to still echo the same design philosophy of complete 
pragmatism.  He'd been expecting the same sort of padded nylon seats 
that the Eva cockpits sported, and instead was given a cold metal bench 
painted a nauseating shade of blue.  "They could have made the planes a 
little more appealing," he noted, staring across the narrow room 
towards Misato.

"We hardly had the budget," replied Misato, a grin drifting across her 
face despite herself.  "NERV was barely given enough money to buy a 
coffee machine, much less fund the development of the Evangelions.  So 
we have to make do with what we can get our hands on."  She sighed, 
glancing out one of the small glass windows as the plane began to lurch 
away from the city, its movements feeling awkward and forced.  "And 
there are nations in the UN still opposing further budget increases for 
the project."

Giving an absent nod, Neil leaned towards his own window, watching as 
the plane turned to unintentionally give him a clearer view of the 
city, out into the surrounding foothills and the smaller portions of 
civilization.  He distantly recognized an area he thought might have 
been the part of Tokyo-3 that he'd first entered, but as the plane 
continued turning it became a moot point.  Letting his viewpoint shift 
with the plane's movement, he watched the Fifth Angel's remains 
shifting into view, the slumped-over octohedron lying in the road, 
cranes busying themselves by taking apart the smooth surface with 
precision.  "Misato?" he asked, leaning back towards the dark-haired 
woman and away from the window.  "Why did I get chosen to meet the 
other Children?"

Misato almost didn't seem to notice Neil's question for a moment, a 
briefcase open next to her and papers being rearranged swiftly within.  
Then she paused and looked up at him, smiling but obviously 
distracted.  "Because they wanted one of the current pilots to be 
there," she replied, turning almost immediately back to the papers.  
"Why do you ask?"

"That's not what I meant," Neil replied, giving another glance out the 
window as the plane began to fly over other parts of Japan, too quickly 
for Neil to get anything but a quick glimpse at them.  "Why me, 
specifically?  Why not Ryo, or Eiko, or even Vash?  They don't have 
functional Evas at the moment, right?"

"Right," replied Misato, still sounding distracted.  "I don't think 
that the medical division is even particularly taken with the idea of 
having Vash pilot a machine at the moment."  Neil leaned forward, and 
he caught a momentary glimpse of what looked like a personnel report 
with a picture of a red-haired girl before Misato shuffled another 
sheet atop it, scanning the lines quickly.  "But Commander Ikari didn't 
want one of the other Children on the ships.  He wanted you."

"Ikari," muttered Neil, glancing out the window almost as a reflex, 
noting the blue water absently.  He'd never had a chance to speak with 
the commander for more than a few seconds, only knew him from their 
distant interactions in the Eva docks.  Still, something about the man 
felt infinitely cold, almost as bad as the Angels themselves.  "Was he 
trying to sell out Tokyo-3, or did he have some kind of rationale 
behind it?"

Flipping her hair back with an odd sort of nod, Misato continued to 
stare at the papers in her briefcase, almost as if she was looking for 
information that wasn't there.  "You have the best record against the 
Angels, that's why," she replied, sounding distracted.  "I think he's 
worried about the prospects of having 02 and 05 be attacked on their 
way here, especially since it'd be a difficult proposition to fight 
back against an Angel on the ocean.  So he's sending the best."

Neil opened his mouth to respond, then closed it again, gritting his 
teeth and staring out the window of the plane as the blue ocean 
stretched along outside.  "The best fighter," he muttered to himself, 
not liking the concept of being good at fighting even though he knew it 
was necessary.  A thought tickled at the back of his mind, and he found 
himself wondering if he didn't like the idea of fighting or just the 
fact that he piloted the Eva to do it.  Closing his eyes, he remembered 
the green iris of the Evangelion, a memory perfectly fresh despite the 
fact that it had been more than a week since his first battle.  Then he 
remembered tackling the third Angel in his crimson anger, the sensation 
as he drove anything sharp he could find into the beast's body.

Then he recalled the memory that had driven him into the fit, a memory 
that time had mercifully dulled but not removed.  His brow furrowed 
unconsciously as he remembered kneeling in the sand of the playground, 
dark red stains in front of him, a thin trickle of blood running down 
his wrist as the teachers milled about the bully.  At the time, he was 
too young to understand what had happened, only knew that he was trying 
to do the right thing and had obviously made a mistake.  They'd moved 
away soon after that, as soon as the older boy's family had decided not 
to press charges against Neil's parents.

"He didn't die," Neil muttered to himself, eyes still closed tightly 
and brow furrowed.  His words were quiet, but Misato heard him, and she 
turned away from the papers in her briefcase to look up at him with 
concern.  "They said his arm would never work right again, but he 
didn't die.  And he never bullied anyone again, I'm certain of that.  
So it was the right thing then, the right thing now..."

"Is something wrong?" asked Misato, drawing Neil's attention away from 
his memories with a sharp and surprised reaction.  "You seemed to be -"

Shaking his head, Neil turned away from Misato again, feeling even 
worse for her having heard him.  He suspected that she already knew 
what a horrible thing he'd done, but on the off chance that she didn't 
he wanted to make sure that she didn't find out, either.  "It's 
nothing," he replied, focusing on a speck in the distance that he 
assumed was either Tokyo-3 or the boats that they were approaching.

Misato frowned, then stood and walked over to his side of the plane, 
sitting down beside him and touching his shoulder gently.  "I said it's 
nothing," he snapped, recoiling slightly at her touch, but he fell 
silent afterwards, simply staring out the window.  Misato hesitantly 
extended her hand again, then withdrew it, standing and walking back 
over to her briefcase.  Whatever Neil was going through, she knew it 
was probably best for her to remain uninvolved.

                                  ]++[

"Are we sitting in these entry plugs for a reason?" shouted Vash, 
visibly irritated from the small window on the computer display as he 
crossed his arms and sulked.  Kozou Fuyutsuki involuntarily smiled, 
amused both by the boy's insistence upon information and his continued 
zeal to pilot the Evangelions despite his first encounter with the 
machines.  He glanced up towards the three entry plugs barely touching 
the surface of a pool of LCL, on the other side of the observation 
booth, letting his eyes rest upon the one with "03" emblazoned across 
its hatch in blocky letters, almost feeling disappointed at the fact 
that Vash couldn't see the smile.

"This is a synchronization test," replied Fuyutsuki after a moment, 
stepping away from the computer console and towards the room's primary 
microphone.  The room itself was fairly large, although the fact that 
it shared the same bland color scheme as the rest of Central Dogma made 
it seem even larger.  However, the testing area, more or less a 
vertical column filled to the windows with LCL, was only about the size 
of a truck, just large enough to fit eight entry plugs and not a single 
one more.  "It's designed to help us keep track of how solid your 
connection is with your Eva unit.  All you have to do is synch up with 
the machine like normal."

Vash turned his gaze to one side slightly, biting his lower lip and 
looking intensely undecided about Kozou's response.  "Couldn't you just 
do that while we're in the machines?" he asked, perking up slightly as 
he turned back towards the camera monitoring his cockpit.  "I mean, 
that's when it matters anyways, so then you'd have the most pertinent 
information right away, and -"

"Keep in mind that this would be occurring during an Angel attack," 
noted Ryo calmly, his eyes shut inside the entry plug, resting his 
hands calmly on his knees.  Vash immediately took offense at the 
comment, but without any way of glaring at Ryo he simply crossed his 
arms and scowled at nothing.  "It's very simple.  I've undergone the 
tests before.  I am ready when you are, Professor Fuyutsuki."

"Understood.  You should feel something in a few moments."  He stepped 
away from the microphone, over to the unoccupied monitoring station to 
his left, checking the vital signs of the pilots briefly before 
stepping over to the other station.  Maya was already tapping away at 
the keyboard, Ritsuko leaning over her shoulder and watching the graph 
move up and down regularly with an air of calm superiority.  "How are 
they doing?"

"Ryo is at 43% - higher than we'd been able to get previously, due to 
00's eccentricities.  I suspect that the modifications made to the unit 
have helped the synch ratio somewhat."  She furrowed her brow slightly 
for a moment, took a quick note of something on her board, then turned 
back towards the display of the Children's synch ratios.  "Eiko is 
holding steady at 46%, while Vash is managing to peak at 50%.  It's a 
testament to the connections of the production models that he hasn't 
fallen below that yet."

Fuyutsuki nodded, glancing briefly at the display of the pilots' status 
before watching the synchronization graph himself, noticing something 
about the display for a second without being able to place it.  He 
watched the graph move for a moment, then realized what it was.  "The 
graph is updating on a real-time basis," he said, turning towards 
Ritsuko.  "I thought that your mother -"

"Dr. Akagi modified the code yesterday," interjected Maya, grinning 
slightly at the fact as she swapped a couple of displays.  "She said 
that her mother must have been drunk when she wrote the code for some 
of the monitor displays, that there was too much unnecessary code that 
was clogging it down.  The whole system is running faster."  She 
stopped, then blushed, turning to Ritsuko immediately as her brown eyes 
widened.  "I'm sorry, ma'am, I spoke out of turn."

"It's fine, Maya," replied Ritsuko, giving a little smile to the 
younger woman.  Maya's blush disappeared, and she gave a quick nod, her 
almost boyish haicut bobbing ever so slightly before she turned back to 
her station.  Ritsuko shook her head gently, then turned towards 
Fuyutsuki.  "I was simply going through some of the operations code 
that mother put onto the systems, and I noticed that there were ways to 
streamline the process.  She probably just didn't think of them at the 
time."

Nodding, Fuyutsuki turned back towards the console, unable to keep 
himself from smiling.  He remembered Naoko Akagi as though he'd worked 
with her the day before, and she seemed to have produced an almost 
identical child - the same motivation, the same passion, the same 
absolute unwillingness to let even the smallest imperfection remain.  
It was one of the things about Naoko that had helped get the project 
rolling.  "You're very much like your mother, you know," he noted, 
looking over at the blonde woman.  "If you hadn't changed your hair 
color, you might be indistinguishable from her."

"Then I suppose it's just as well that I did," replied Ritsuko, smiling 
grimly.  Fuyutsuki stared at her for a moment, then shook his head, 
turning back towards the display before him and studying it.  He wanted 
to say something to her, but somehow it seemed like entirely the wrong 
time, and he was willing to stay silent for the time being.  Besides, 
he had other matters to attend to.

                                  ]++[

Ryo stared into the single eye of EVA-00, the same bright red as his 
own eyes by what he assumed was a rather ironic coincidence.  
Technically, his routine dictated that he should have gone straight to 
the locker room and changed out of his plugsuit, but considering that 
his routine was inextricably intertwined with that of the Evangelion it 
only made sense for him to examine the updated machine at least once 
before he piloted it.  So he'd made his way down from the testing room 
to the holding room where the prototype unit was housed, standing on 
the catwalk above the huge pool of liquid surrounding the machine, arms 
hanging limply by his sides.

He'd expected that some changes would have been made to it, but he 
hadn't expected that it would be turned blue.  Aside from the neutral 
white arms with a few bands of black around them, the entire machine 
was a bright blue, white highlights in a few key locations.  There were 
other modifications made as well, and Ryo could see that the shoulders 
had been fitted with the standard flanges of the EVA series, the left 
arm already equipped and the unit for the right arm visible from his 
position on the catwalk.  It looked far better suited for combat, 
something that Ryo could tell was in order after his battle with the 
Fourth Angel.

"Ayanami-san?"  The voice was clearly recognizable, and Ryo turned his 
head towards the source to see Eiko, now dressed in the same red shirt 
and jean shorts from the morning, walking towards him casually.  
Staring for a moment, Ryo wondered if she'd figured out he hadn't given 
Neil her sketch, something that he assumed she would be upset about if 
she knew.  "Is something wrong?  Vash said that you weren't in the 
locker room, and I wasn't sure if -"

"I was examining my Evangelion," replied Ryo, turning his gaze back 
towards the machine and studying its lines.  Eiko took a step back, 
getting the impression that Ryo didn't want to talk to her, something 
that seemed a little odd considering his usual dearth of emotion.  Ryo 
was distantly aware that she took a step back, but it was of little 
concern to him.  "I expect that it will be ready for operation again in 
the near future."

"Um... I'm looking forward to that," replied Eiko, not sure if there 
was a correct response to the statement that she simply didn't know.  
"We can use all the backup we can get, right?"  She smiled, suddenly 
wondering why she'd come all the way down to the Eva bays to find Ryo.  
She'd never asked him about the sketch she'd gave him, but she knew 
that things were fine between her and Neil, and that meant that it 
hardly mattered.

Ryo glanced towards the girl, noticing that she was uncomfortable but 
barely even considering that it could be because of him.  He remembered 
watching the video of the battle, watching Neil eject himself the 
second the Angel had been defeated and rushing to her side.  She had 
put her life dangerously close to being extinguished for him, and Neil 
had done the same for Ryo, an action that he still hadn't figured out 
the rationale behind.  Looking at Eiko, he began to wonder if there was 
some connection between the two incidents, if there was a single 
unifying cause behind the risks they had taken.  "Would you put your 
life on the line for me, Eiko?" he asked, looking back towards the 
Eva.  "Like you did for Neil?"

The question surprised Eiko into taking another step backwards, her 
face drifting somewhere between fear and indignation.  "I... I don't 
know.  It hasn't happened, has it?"  Ryo said nothing, only continued 
to stare at EVA-00's single red eye, and the girl wondered what made 
him ask her something like that.  "I guess that I would, if I knew that 
you would do the same for me.  That's how people keep each other safe, 
isn't it?"

Something in Eiko's voice made Ryo want to speak up, but before he 
could get past opening his mouth the same door that she'd entered from 
slid open and Vash stepped out.  He stared for a moment, then stepped 
over to Eiko almost too swiftly, standing just far enough between her 
and Ryo for the implications to be obvious.  "Ayanami," he said, trying 
to sound formal but making the name wind up sounding more like an 
insult than anything else.  "I was a little worried about you.  Thought 
you might have gotten yourself hurt."

"I see," replied Ryo, staring at Vash intently, trying to gauge the 
man's intentions.  "Because that's something that I do often."  Vash's 
brow furrowed at the remark, and Eiko gently put her hand on his 
shoulder, seeming to calm him somewhat.  Ryo simply stared for a 
moment, then turned back towards EVA-00, knowing that he couldn't ask 
Eiko anything with her boyfriend around and having lost the thought 
anyways.  "I'm fine."

"Yeah.  You're just the spitting image of a normal teenager."  Vash 
turned slightly away from Ryo, then put his hands on Eiko's shoulders 
and turned her away gently as well.  Ryo noticed that Vash was still 
staring at him, and he turned his head slightly towards the other 
Child, expecting to see the same sort of hateful gaze that he was 
accustomed to getting from Vash.  The expression, however, was quite 
different than he'd been expecting, torn somewhere between pity and 
confusion.  "Well, we're off to actually enjoy our day, but... um, glad 
you're all right, Ayanami."

"Thank you for your concern," he replied, turning his gaze back towards 
EVA-00 completely.  He was distantly aware of the sound of the catwalk 
doors hissing open and then closed, but he busied his minds with other 
thoughts until he heard the noise a second time a few moments later.  
It still might not have piqued his interest had it not come from the 
other end of the catwalk.  As it was, he turned his head towards the 
noise, seeing Gendou walking towards him, long black coat hanging 
loosely over the red turtleneck he wore, dark glasses obscuring his 
eyes as usual.  "Dr. Ikari.  Am I late for something?"

"No," replied Gendou, stopping about a meter away from Ryo, one hand in 
the pocket of his black slacks while the other hung limply at his 
side.  "I was looking for you, but I was informed by Dr. Akagi that you 
had not returned to the locker room after the testing.  The Magi 
pinpointed your location here."  He paused, and Ryo knew without him 
saying another word that Ryo needed to undergo further testing 
elsewhere.  "There are still things that I need you to attend to today."

Ryo nodded, turning towards Gendou and walking towards the commander 
even as Gendou himself turned away from the boy and headed for the door 
that he'd come in from a few moments earlier.  "Dr. Ikari?" he asked, 
coming to a stop rather suddenly as a thought occurred to him, causing 
the doctor to stop in mid-stride and turn back to face Ryo.  "Eiko said 
that people sacrifice themselves for others because they expect the 
action will be reciprocated.  Is that why Neil saved me against the 
Fourth Angel?"

"Perhaps," replied Gendou, turning just enough so that Ryo could see a 
satisfied sort of half-smirk on his face.  It was an expression that he 
recognized as a sign of Gendou's approval of his actions, and to the 
best of his memory it had never come as a result of asking a question 
before.  "But you don't need to worry about that, Ryo.  You're 
different, and you know that."

"Yes," replied Ryo, nodding and beginning to walk once again.  Gendou 
nodded, then continued walking towards the exit from the Eva hangar.  
Glancing back at the Eva one last time, his lids half-closed from a 
sensation that he couldn't put a name to, he remembered what he was 
going to ask Eiko before - if she would be willing to put her life on 
the line for the Eva, knowing that it was as alive as Ryo.

                                  ]++[

It had been years since Neil had been on a boat, and the most recent 
occurrence had seen him below deck and vomiting for much of the trip 
due to a stomach virus.  As the plane gently touched down on the 
surface of the carrier that Misato had directed his attention towards, 
he felt a slight sense of excitment, his determination to feel decent 
about himself fighting to make being on the boat at least vaguely 
enjoyable.  Stepping outside, he was almost immediately struck by the 
wind, and he winced as a blast hit him directly in the face, sending 
his hair fluttering and forcing him to shut his eyes instinctively.  "I 
didn't remember this much wind," he shouted to Misato, the hum of the 
engines of the plane still too loud to speak normally over.

"Because the boats are going so fast," replied Misato, smirking as she 
stepped out of the plane, dark sunglasses obscuring her eyes and both 
her jacket and skirt fluttering madly.  She glanced around for a 
second, then pointed towards the front of the ship, drawing Neil's 
attention to the tapered point.  "See, that's the front of the ship, 
called the port... and, um, up there is the observation deck, which 
they call the starboards."  She paused, glancing around.  "And I think 
you're supposed to bow when you get on an unfamilar boat."

Neil stared at Misato for a second, not sure whether to laugh or sigh.  
He finally settled for shaking his head, resting his hand on Misato's 
shoulder and smirking.  "The front of the ship is the bow.  Port is the 
left side of the ship, and starboard is the right side."  He paused.  
"I had to learn that for a report at school one year."

Misato didn't seem to be pleased at learning about Neil so much as 
irritated at being proven incorrect.  "All right, then, what do they 
call the observation deck?"

"'The observation deck,' usually," replied Neil without missing a 
beat.  He and Misato stared at one another for a moment, then both 
laughed, the silliness of the situation overcoming them.  Neil felt a 
momentary rush of confidence at the laugh, as if the one moment of 
humor made everything else correct itself.  "Listen, is it okay if I 
walk around for a little while?  I'd like to get some time to clear my 
head."

"Go right ahead," replied Misato, waving somewhat distractedly towards 
him as she glanced around.  "I'm fairly certain you can't get too far 
on a boat."  She smirked, then took a few steps away from the plane, 
motioning for Neil to do the same as it prepared to lift off once 
again.  "I'll try to find the Children and get you introduced, you just 
take the time you need.  No worries."

Offering a quick nod, Neil stepped away from Misato's position as the 
plane's engines started full-force and began to lift it away from the 
surface of the carrier.  The wind was blowing something fierce, and 
Neil forced himself to resist the temptation to stare at Misato's skirt 
on the off chance that it would fly up, instead walking towards the 
starboard walkway of the ship and taking in the salt air.  Looking 
around, he found himself taken by the sheer visual blandness of the 
ship, the ship basically one big mass of gray and the ocean one big 
mass of blue.  It was the exact sort of environment he didn't want - 
completely uninteresting to anyone except a military buff, giving him 
plenty of time and space to think.

Shutting his eyes for a second, he placed his hands firmly on the rail 
of the ship and leaned slightly over the edge, staring down into the 
blue depths that stretched on below him.  "The sea has no memory," he 
muttered to himself, knowing that he was mangling the quote but knowing 
also that the sentiment was the same.  There was something unspeakably 
comfortable about the waves, and the thought ocurred to him, almost 
idly, that if he fell into them he would probably drown within 
seconds.  It wasn't a contemplation of suicide, nothing that he wanted 
to do, but the thought popped into his mind regardless, and it 
disturbed him for understandable reasons.  Staring down into the water 
again, it almost seemed to be surging upwards, and he pushed backwards, 
away from the rail.

"Hey, watch it!" shouted a light female voice behind him, too late for 
Neil to do anything but surrender himself to inertia.  The same voice 
let out a shriek as Neil fell on the source, sending both himself and 
the unidentified girl staggering backwards into the bulkhead behind 
them, and Neil could feel his unstable position on his feet.  Then he 
felt himself get shoved from behind, he heard the girl shriek again, 
and his foot hit a puddle as he staggered forward, feeling very 
confused as both of his feet ceased to be underneath him.  Not wanting 
to crack his spine, he forced himself to twist around in midair, 
landing roughly on the soft, warm deck.

It took him a moment to remember that the deck of a military transport 
would be neither soft nor warm, and only half a second to recall the 
girl's voice that he'd heard.  Pushing himself up slightly on his arms, 
his face turned a bright crimson as he looked down to see his hand 
firmly atop the girl's breast, her legs just wide enough for his to 
slip between them.  The girl herself was blushing as well, her face 
beginning to match the color of her hair, and Neil found himself 
forcing himself to resist the temptation to take the opportunity he had 
with the thin fabric of the green dress the girl wore.  "Hi," he 
offered sheepishly, trying to smile.

Almost the exact second that he offered his apology, the girl's face 
shifted from surprise to anger, and she brought her left hand hard 
across Neil's cheek, shoving him away with her right arm.  Neil 
acquiesced, rubbing his cheek as he backed away into a standing 
position once again, while the girl was still blushing as she stood up 
once again.  "You -pervert-," she snapped, a distinct Irish accent 
showing through her words as she crossed her arms tightly, almost as 
though she was hugging her chest.  "First you nearly crush me, then you 
try to cop a feel?"

The accusation stung more than the girl could have known, and Neil 
scowled, still rubbing his cheek for a moment.  "I wasn't trying to cop 
a feel, I -fell-."  He sighed, dropping his hand to one side and 
scowling at the girl.  "Besides, it's not my fault that you told me to 
watch out after I couldn't stop.  You might as well have asked for me 
to turn back the tide."

"Very convenient that you fell directly onto me, isn't it?" she asked, 
obviously not about to let the event drop.  Looking somewhat closer, 
Neil could see that there was still a slight flush to her face, as if 
the event had embarassed her more than she wanted to admit to herself.  
"And don't think that I didn't see you turn in mid-air.  You wanted to 
land on me, right where you wanted me."

"Gods, how much thought do you think I put into this?  I didn't want my 
spine to hit metal and crack into half-spines."  He shook his head, 
closing his eyes, brow still furrowed out of anger.  "And to think that 
I was going to apologize to you."  Still shaking his head, Neil turned 
to continue walking, then felt the girl's hand grip his shoulder 
firmly.  "What?  What -now-?"

"You had bloody well -better- apologize!" she snapped, tugging hard on 
his shoulder and spinning him around to face her again.  She was 
standing right next to Neil now, and he could see that she was 
significantly shorter than he was, forcing him to look down at her.  
"No moral person would -"  She paused, and Neil could tell that she was 
tracing the path of his vision with her own eyes as her gaze slowly 
moved down until she was staring down her dress, at which point she 
began trembling with what Neil assumed was anger.  Neil sighed, then 
winced as her hand slapped him once again.  "And cut that out!"

"Cut -what- out?  Listening to you?"  The accusation about immorality 
had stung far more than her slap, but Neil didn't want to say that, 
especially not under the circumstances.  He rubbed his cheek, feeling 
somewhere between angry at the girl and disgusted with his own 
actions.  "What the hell was that slap for, anyways?"

"That's the price of admission," she replied, folding her arms now 
across the top of her dress, a rather awkward-looking position by 
Neil's standards.  "You tried to grope me and look down my dress.  Any 
self-respecting woman would make a man pay for that, don't you think?"

Grimacing, Neil felt his fist clenching, eyes shut tight as he felt 
anger begin to trickle in from the back of his head.  He was the 
victim, not the aggressor, and he hated being treated as though he'd 
done something terribly wrong, just as he'd hated the way people had 
stared at him on that day in the schoolyard, like he was some kind of 
monster.  "You don't want to know what I think," he snarled, his nails 
beginning to bite into the palm of his hand.  Then he realized what he 
was doing, and his fist relaxed as he felt the crushing weight of shame 
begin to fall on him, the mere thought that he'd been ready to hit the 
girl making him feel almost nauseous.

Opening his eyes again, he stared at the girl, seeing on her face that 
she'd recognized the sudden change in his mood, though he couldn't 
quite tell from her expression whether that had made her angrier or a 
little frightened.  "I'm sorry," he muttered, stepping around her and 
walking away without looking back.  The thought of having almost wanted 
to attack her wouldn't leave his mind, and he was so intent on the 
concept that he nearly slammed right into Misato, skidding to a halt 
inches away from her.

Misato was smiling, the sort of satisifed grin that she wore whenever 
she was particularly pleased with how things had worked, a grin that 
came up fairly frequently living with her.  "Good job, Neil.  The two 
of you saved me the effort of finding you."  Putting her hand firmly on 
his shoulder, she turned him around towards the girl, who was now 
several meters away and staring at Misato as if she'd seen the woman 
before.  "Nieve!  Nieve, come over here!"

The girl took a step hesitantly, then faster, then faster again, wooden 
sandals clanking against the surface of the ship as she stepped towards 
Misato and Neil.  "Misato, you've got to be kidding me," she said, 
raising her eyebrows as she stared at Neil, now looking him over as if 
he were for sale.  "There's no way that he's the Third Child.  I refuse 
to accept it."

Neil had been suffering from a fairly consistent sinking feeling since 
he'd almost hit the girl, who he assumed to be Nieve.  As Misato smiled 
and shook her head at the girl's comments, Neil looked back towards 
Nieve and felt the feeling redouble itself.  "You haven't changed at 
all since I left Ireland.  Nieve Soryu-Leary, this is Neil Richelieu, 
the Third Child.  Neil, this is Nieve, the Second Child."

Staring at Nieve for a moment, Neil opened his mouth to say something, 
but Nieve obviously had no intention of letting him speak just yet, 
still looking him over with a critical eye.  "So this is the great and 
mighty Third Child.  Small wonder you've had such uneven performance 
against the Angels - you can't even keep your hands off a girl when she 
happens to be walking behind you."  Neil frowned, and Nieve shot him a 
grin that at first looked nasty before Neil realized that it was more 
mischevious than anything.  "Don't worry about it, though.  Now that 
I'm at NERV's headquarters, I'll keep everything under control.  After 
all, I do have the most experience."

"Really?  Where were you during the first three attacks, then?" asked 
Neil, sounding as bitter as he felt, though his bitterness was 
direction more towards himself than towards Nieve.  She scowled, and 
Neil shook his head, holding up his hand in an abortive peace gesture.  
"Sorry.  I'm not trying to fight you."  She seemed to listen, at least 
for the moment, and he turned back towards Misato.  "Didn't you say we 
were meeting the Sixth Child, too?"

"Oh!  Niobe!"  Nieve slapped her forehead, apparently no longer 
interested in dealing with Neil for the time being.  "She and Kaji were 
taking a quick tour of the ship.  I don't know why he offered to take 
her instead of me, but they should be around any second now."  She 
smiled, obviously satisified with herself, then noticed that Misato's 
face had contorted into what looked like a painful grimace.  "What's 
wrong?  Low tide hit you?"

"Kaji?" Misato asked, her voice barely above a hiss, somewhere between 
rage and trepidation from what Neil could hear of it.  "Do you mean... 
Ryoji Kaji?"

"Hey, Misato.  Long time no see."  The voice was deep, eminently 
masculine, with just the slightest touch of sarcasm in it.  Neil turned 
to look behind himself and Misato as the elder woman still stood in 
abject horror, and saw the man standing there, tall and sinewy, a sort 
of scruffy attractiveness about him with his slight beard stubble and 
unruly hair tied into a ponytail.  His blue eyes sparkled with a 
notable intelligence as he walked towards the group, gesturing for the 
girl next to him to walk along with him.  "I see you've already been 
reunited with Nieve."

"Captain Katsuragi."  The girl next to him extended her hand towards 
Misato, ignoring the fact that Misato still seemed to be in some kind 
of shock.  Her deep brown skin stood out in stark contrast to the tones 
of the rest of the group, long black hair fluttering in the wind, and 
Neil instantly realized that she was the Sixth Child.  "Captain 
Katsuragi?"  She paused, hand still waiting, then looked towards Neil 
and Nieve.  "Is something wrong with her?"

Misato finally seemed to spring into action again, whirling on her heel 
and glaring at Kaji with venom.  "Since when have you been a part of 
NERV?" she snapped, the words coming out with stuttered gasps and an 
emotion that Neil couldn't quite place.  "The last I knew, you were 
trying to -"

"People change careers, honey," replied Kaji, smirking as Misato 
visibly ruffled.  He turned towards Neil, ignoring the angry woman 
standing a few feet away as if he didn't have a care in the world.  "So 
you're the Third, right?"  Neil paused, then nodded.  "Hmm.  A little 
scrawnier than I thought you'd be.  Has Misato told you any stories 
about us, or does she keep mostly to herself now?"

"Wait a minute.  You two used to -date-?"  Nieve knew on an 
intellectual level that she had absolutely no chance with Kaji, but the 
thought that Misato had not only had the chance but succeeded got under 
her skin for reasons she couldn't quite explain.  She glanced back and 
forth between the two adults, her face twisted into a grimace of 
confusion, as if she was trying to envision the pairing.  "Why didn't 
you ever tell me?"

"It's not like it matters," Niobe interjected, shaking her head at the 
situation.  "As long as you're both responsible officers, there's no 
problem, is there?"

"-Responsible-?  This man is the least responsible person I -know-!"  
Misato's gaze remained fixed, but Neil still thought that he saw a hint 
of something else there.

Kaji smirked at the accusation, obviously not disturbed in the least.  
"I managed to keep Nieve alive, didn't I?" he asked, letting his smile 
grow at Misato's indignation.  "I think you're just afraid that you 
won't be able to control yourself around me."

"...this isn't going well," muttered Neil, shaking his head and turning 
away from Misato and Kaji's shouting match.  Much as some part of him 
wanted to watch the scene unfold between the two of them, he had other 
things to think about, most importantly the creeping feeling of guilt 
in the pit of his stomach.  He glanced at Nieve for a moment and found 
himself wondering what sort of person would even consider hurting 
someone like her, what the fact that he'd thought about it said about 
him as a person.

                                  ]++[

"No way."  Niobe cocked an eyebrow, reaching across the table to grab 
the salt shaker as she stared towards Nieve.  "I don't believe it."  
Snatching the shaker, she poured another round of salt onto the meal in 
front of her, hoping that the flavor would cut the actual flavor of 
what she'd been served.  Whatever innovations the military had managed 
to make over the years, cooking was not one of them, and even if NERV 
was in command of the transports it was still a UN military action.

"Believe it.  He landed -right- on my breast."  Sighing, the redhead 
idly took another bite of the gummy meat that had been served to her, 
the flavor almost like that of a hot dog but not quite as enjoyable.  
The event still hadn't left her mind, that instant of being completely 
helpless, and she had to admit to being terrified for just a moment.  
She certainly wasn't going to tell that much to Niobe, however, 
especially considering how draconian the other girl seemed to be about 
being the best.  "Then he was trying to cover up, like it was a total 
coincidence.  His hand landed on my breast, and he tells me it was an 
accident."

"Stranger things have happened," replied Niobe idly, taking a sip of 
the dark black coffee in front of her, savoring the sharp bitterness of 
it that helped keep her awake.  The bland gray surroundings of the mess 
hall did little to keep her attention on the events going on around 
her, and though she'd been getting more than enough sleep since the 
voyage began she was finding herself getting tired from simple boredom, 
something that the coffee helped to offset.  "Still, even if he was 
taking advantage of the situation, you can't blame him.  You are a 
pretty girl his age, after all."

"Um.  Yeah."  Nieve shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the remark, 
and Niobe noticed but stayed silent.  For a second, Nieve simply stared 
down at the food in front of her, feeling a pang of guilt, then she 
looked back towards Niobe and forced other thoughts to the forefront.  
"I guess you're right, though.  Besides, other than the charming first 
impression he made, he is kind of cute."

Chuckling to herself, Niobe smirked slightly, pleased to see that Nieve 
had apparently gotten over the fixation with Kaji that she'd professed 
on one level, wishing that it had remained on another.  As long as 
Nieve remained focused on personal relationships, she wasn't focusing 
on piloting the Eva, and that meant that she was falling behind.  It 
was one of the first things that Niobe's parents had taught her, that 
she needed to stay focused on the task at hand, that anything else was 
a dangerous distraction.  "Considering how much you were cursing him on 
the way here..."

"That was before I met him," muttered Nieve, thinking for a second 
about the few moments that she'd actually interacted with him.  He'd 
seemed nice underneath the anger of the circumstances, fairly witty and 
more polite than she would have expected.  Then she remembered that odd 
moment when he seemed as though he were angry enough to hit her, his 
fist clenched tightly and his entire body simply seeming threatening.  
It had almost been scary, and for a moment she thought that he was 
going to hit her back.  Almost idly, she wondered if that was how he 
managed to be such an excellent Evangelion pilot, with that same sort 
of anger.  "Now... well, he doesn't seem like the sort of person I'd 
envisioned.  Different.  In a good way."

Niobe's smile dimished slightly, but she didn't seem to notice, simply 
taking another bite of the same gum-meat that Nieve had and feeling the 
blandness of the meat shine through despite the excessive salting she'd 
heaped on it.  "I'm reserving judgement," she said, poking at the meat 
almost idly with her fork.  "After all, now that we're here, he might 
start to slack off.  You can't really be certain about him as a pilot 
until you work with him in a combat situation."

Shaking her head, Nieve smiled back at Niobe, sipping the iced tea 
before her and idly wondering how it was Niobe could drink hot coffee 
when she knew she'd be going back out under the hateful sun.  "Niobe, I 
wasn't talking about him as a pilot.  Just as a person."

Pausing for a moment, Niobe stared at the gleaming metal of her fork, 
as if it might give her some sudden burst of clarity.  She wanted to 
believe that she'd known that was what Nieve had meant, but there was a 
nagging suspicion in the back of her head that she was intentionally 
avoiding thinking about Neil as a person.  "We're Eva pilots," she said 
at length, standing up and picking her tray up at the same time.  
"There isn't much difference for us."  Just saying the words made her 
feel something knot inside of her, but she pushed it out of her mind 
and reminded herself that she was telling the truth, stepping away from 
the table and walking towards the dish disposal.  "I'm going to go 
check on EVA-05.  Will I see you for dinner?"

"Yeah, sure.  The USS Constance isn't known for its collection of fine 
eateries."  The comment brought a smile to the lips of both girls, but 
as Nieve continued to poke at her meat, Niobe's comment wouldn't leave 
her head, even as Niobe's shoes clicked along the metal floor out 
through the door, the room becoming dangerously empty except for 
Nieve.  Shutting her eyes for a moment, she remembered the anger on 
Neil's face, and she couldn't help but wonder for an instant if there 
was some truth to Niobe's words.

                                  ]++[

The hold that contained Niobe's Evangelion was differently structured 
from the holding bays of the NERV facilities she was used to, the Eva 
stretched horizontally in a bed of the same liquid that usually covered 
its entire body, gently sloshing against the machine as the ship moved 
with the waves.  She hadn't been given much explanation as to why the 
liquid was necessary, but her theory was that it provided the organic 
parts of the machine with nutrients, to make sure that it stayed 
healthy despite any extertion.  "Not that you've been getting much 
exercise," muttered Niobe, wanting to reach out and touch the machine, 
a desire made impossible by the position of the Eva.  "You're getting 
fat and sloppy."

Her comments were ironic, and she knew it - EVA-05 had been 
intentionally designed as the fastest machine of the initial production 
run.  Still, she could feel that she wasn't talking so much about the 
machine as she was talking about herself.  There was something under 
her skin that had been nagging at her ever since she'd met Nieve, a 
nagging question about herself that she couldn't seem to shake despite 
what she knew to the contrary.  She knew that she'd had excellent 
performance during every single test run of the machine, that she'd 
never failed a synchronization test and never missed a beat on a 
training simulation.

"But all that was artificial," she muttered, slumping against the gray 
wall of the hold, still staring at the yellow form of her Eva as it lay 
in the liquid.  "I've never actually participated in combat, and I know 
that Nieve's never had the chance to, either."  Closing her eyes, she 
remembered watching the initial footage from the battle with the Third 
Angel, remembered the sudden pang of fear she'd gotten when the Angel 
broke the Eva's arm, when it tore a hole through the machine's head.  
Even though she'd prepared for the shock associated with the neural 
feedback, she couldn't help but be scared by the idea.

"And I can't be afraid.  I know that."  She smirked to herself, pulling 
her knees to her chest and hugging them tight against her body, feeling 
very small next to the massive Eva.  That was another thing that Joseph 
had taught her, that she needed not to be afraid.  Sometimes she 
wondered, when she was certain that nobody was looking, if her father 
expected her to do all this through force of will alone.  It was 
certainly the most likely possibility, but considering that she was the 
pilot of a machine piloted solely by force of will, she could hardly 
blame him for his view of things.

Realizing that she was focusing on the issue at hand and blowing it out 
of proportion, she shut her eyes for a moment, focusing on clearing her 
mind and focusing on the important matters.  "You're just worried about 
whether or not you're going to be as good as you need to be," she 
scolded herself, opening her eyes again and staring at the Eva.  It was 
the truth of the matter, she kept reminding herself, that she was 
starting to have doubts about whether or not she could live up to 
Joseph's standards.

Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself of her training, of 
everything that she'd learned as a child.  "I will be the best pilot," 
she muttered, almost seeming to address the Eva instead of herself.  If 
she could pilot the machine by the force of her will, then all that was 
necessary to pilot it better was more willpower.  And she knew that the 
only way that she'd be noticed as a pilot was to be the best at it, to 
not shrink at the responsibility.  "I'm not afraid.  And I'll show them 
all just how good I can do."

                                  ]++[

"Does this mean that you've forgiven me about the accident on deck?" 
shouted Neil, trying his best to keep up with Nieve without bumping 
into her, a difficult task given the darkness of the ship's corridors 
and the fact that his legs were much longer than hers.  She'd hunted 
him down while he was in the middle of lunch, insisting that he 
finished immediately and come with her, and since he still felt guilty 
about his earlier moment of angery he had acquieseced without much 
resistance.

"I'm considering it, anyways," replied Nieve, doing her best to 
navigate the dull gray corridors in the insufficient light provided by 
the small bulbs on the ceiling.  The corridors did have differing looks 
to them, but since they were so narrow and dark, and the fact that most 
of the differences between them were the arrangements of pipes and 
objects on the walls, it was still difficult to tell where she was 
going.  Stepping forward and counting the doors on her left, she nodded 
decisively, then walked to the third door and flung it open.  "Come on!"

Neil, still unsure of where Nieve was taking him, shrugged and followed 
her through the door, down an equally narrow corridor of stairs with 
much brighter light at the end.  Stepping down off the end of the 
stairs, he looked around the room and felt an immense sense of deja vu, 
staring at the massive red golem before him that he knew to be an 
Evangelion unit.  The holding bay wasn't painted the digusting teal-
gray of NERV, but the purpose was obviously the same.  "Evangelion unit 
02," announced Nieve proudly, gesturing towards the Eva with a 
flourish.  "Mine."

"Very nice," replied Neil in a tired voice, looking around the room and 
ignroing Nieve's indignation at his reaction.  He could see a crane set 
up to insert the entry plug, a few computer consoles up against a wall 
presumably for monitoring the Eva's status, even a catwalk over the 
prone Eva's back.  Stepping forward and peering into the orange-purple 
liquid that filled the pool in which the Eva lay, he could see long 
metal tubes attached to a few ports on the machine, what he assumed to 
be the equivalen of the machine's normal restraints at Central Dogma.  
Glancing towards the head, he saw two pairs of almost camera-like eyes, 
one stacked on top of the other.  "It's kind of odd-looking."

"Odd-looking?" replied Nieve indignantly, turning him forcibly away 
from the Eva and towards herself.  "This is the first -real- 
Evangelion!  The one you pilot was just a test model.  EVA-02 is the 
world's first production model."  She smirked at the machine for a 
second, then shrugged.  "It doesn't mean as much now that the other 
three Evas have been completed, but this thing was the parent of all 
their designs.  They wouldn't exist if it wasn't for my machine."

Something about that comment struck Neil as odd, and glancing back 
towards the Eva's head he realized immediately what it was.  "I've seen 
03 and 04, and neither of them have four eyes."  He cocked his head 
slightly, examining the head more closely.  "Did they change the design 
after yours was made?"

"Don't be an idiot," replied Nieve, gritting her teeth at the mention 
of the other two Evangelion units.  She already felt as though she'd 
let everything get out of hand by not being in Tokyo-3 sooner, and Neil 
had inadvertantly reminded her of precisely that.  "There were two 
production designs approved by NERV.  Those units are part of the 
American-Japanese design run.  EVA-02 is the Euro-African design, same 
as EVA-05 over in the other bay."  She paused for a second, realizing 
what that statement must have sounded like.  "But most of the systems 
that the production designs on both sides incorporated first debuted in 
this machine.  It's the first ever."

Neil stared for another second, then shrugged, not sure of exactly what 
Nieve wanted him to say.  He still felt guilty about what had happened 
earlier, but considering the way he'd felt at the time the last thing 
he wanted was to be anywhere near an Eva.  Looking back towards the 
immobile goliath, Neil recalled Gendou's initial name for the Evas, an 
artificial life form, and found himself wondering for a second if they 
had minds of their own underneath the mechanical parts.  Shaking his 
head at the thought, he turned back towards Nieve, determined to change 
the subject.  "Do you know where you'll be living in Japan?"

"I was told that NERV would set up housing for me," replied Nieve, 
leaning back against a wall of the holding bay and crossing her legs as 
she leaned.  "They didn't say where, though."  She paused, then opened 
her mouth to speak again when the boat suddenly rocked violently, 
sending both Children to the floor, Neil landing roughly on his back 
and Nieve falling face-forward onto the metal floor.  The liquid in the 
Eva's tank sloshed violently, splashing onto the walkway to either 
side, a few drops falling onto Neil and Nieve.

Getting to his feet, Neil waited a second or two before standing 
completely, knowing that he'd probably fall right back down if the ship 
rocked again.  The ship remained stable, and he rushed over to Nieve, 
helping her back to her feet gingerly, trying to keep his hands far 
clear of any area that might be distantly construed as sexual.  "Are 
you all right?"

"Fine.  Just wondering what the hell is going on."  She rubbed one of 
her knees for a second, then both Children froze as a blaring alarm 
came over the ship's speakers.  Nieve glanced around for a second, then 
tugged Neil over towards the console that he'd noticed before, 
hammering down a few keys as if she'd been using the Eva monitoring 
equipment all her life.  Recalling Misato saying something about Nieve 
having been with NERV longer than any of the other Children, Neil 
suddenly wondered if she might have been using the equipment for almost 
her entire life.  "No way.  I don't believe this."

"What?" asked Neil, leaning over towards the computer screen that was 
now displying an external camera view.  He watched nothing for a 
moment, simply a picture of the ships moving along with them, then saw 
a sudden burst of waves besides one of the ships, a massive bone-white 
form emerging from the water and smashing into the ship before diving 
once again.  He stared for another second, trying to figure out what it 
could be, before he realized that the answer was obvious.  "An Angel.  
One of the Angels is attack us."

Nieve couldn't keep herself from grinning broadly at the thought, 
glancing over to the other side of the room before running from the 
console towards a strongbox.  Neil almost didn't notice for a moment, 
then glanced over to see her quickly rifling through the contents of 
the box as if looking for something specific.  "What are you doing?" he 
asked, confused."

"Isn't it obvious?  I'm getting out my plugsuit."  She continued 
looking for a moment, then proudly grabbed something red, tossed it 
atop the box, and began to push off the straps of her dress before 
realizing that Neil was still looking at her.  "Turn away!" she 
snapped, blushing a deep crimson and pulling the straps back up in 
indignation.  Neil shrugged, and turned his back towards her, at which 
point she resumed the process of undressing.

Despite everything, it took Neil a great deal of self-restraint not to 
turn around and glance at Nieve, especially as he heard her make small 
grunts of effort that his mind turned into different noises entirely.  
He drummed his fingers against his leg, still anxiously watching the 
external camera as the Angel slammed agains the surrounding boats of 
the convoy.  Then he felt a tap on his shoulder, and he turned to see 
Nieve in the same style of plugsuit that Eiko wore, red where her suit 
had silver and orange where Eiko had red.  "You're going to have to act 
as my operator, all right?"

Without waiting for a response, Nieve began dashing across the floor 
towards the entry plug, and Neil stared at the console, wondering what 
it was she expected him to do.  "Nieve!" he shouted, causing her to 
stop as she climbed into the white entry plug, glancing backwards at 
him.  "I don't know how to work the console!"

The sudden expression of frustration on Nieve's face let Neil know that 
she was not happy with this sudden development on his part, though he 
assumed she knew he'd not had the time to learn how the console 
worked.  "All right," she shouted across to him, climbing in the entry 
plug but not closing the hatch.  "Press the big red button on top to 
open the comm lines, and I'm assuming that Misato can coach you through 
the process.  The green button to your right starts the synchronization 
process, and the yellow one moves the crane.  Hit the yellow one when I 
close the plug."

Seeing the plug slam shut, Neil gritted his teeth and shook his head, 
then pressed the yellow button as Nieve had told him, then immediately 
looked back towards both the plug and the Eva, worried already that 
he'd done something wrong.  The port on the back of the Eva had opened 
correctly, however, and the crane had started to move, obviously on a 
path to insert the plug.  Taking a deep breath, he slammed down on the 
red button, glancing around for a second before finding the 
microphone.  "This is holding bay... um... holding bay..."  He shook 
his head, putting a hand over the microphone as he sighed.  "This is 
the holding bay with EVA-02 in it.  The Second Child is preparing to 
activate EVA-02.  Entry plug is being inserted."

"-Neil-?" came Misato's voice, obviously spoken with intensity but 
oddly quiet.  Neil looked around for a second, then saw a small headset 
resting to one side, the obvious source of Misato's voice, and grabbed 
it, slipping it over his head and adjusting it slightly.  "What the 
hell are you doing in the holding bay?  And what do you mean that EVA-
02 is being activated?"

"Well, Nieve and I were down here looking at EVA-02 when the Angel 
started attacking, and, well, we just sort of assumed..."  He shook his 
head, glancing behind himself towards the Eva, watching as the entry 
plug screwed itself into the Eva's back, the plates sliding closed with 
a satisfying mechanical noise.  "Look, that's really not the important 
thing to think about right now.  What is important is the fact that I 
need you to give me a hand, that I don't have the vaguest idea what any 
of the buttons on this console do."

There was a pause on the other end, then Neil could hear muffled 
cursing in Japanese before Misato came on again.  "All right.  Console 
operation isn't exactly my forte, so we'll have to do without some 
functions of it.  There should be a green button to the right of the 
screen that says 'Activate' on it.  Hit the orange button above that, 
then hit the green button."

"Got it," replied Neil, hitting the orange button and watching various 
labeled displays pop up on screen.  He knew most of the terms on them 
from his own experience in the Eva, and closing his eyes for a second 
he hit the green button.  He waited a second, then stared back at the 
console display, watching as the information from the Eva suddenly 
began assaulting the screen at lightning speed.  "Um... plug flooded 
with LCL!  Synchronization currently at 51%, some fluctuation, and... 
uh... what do I do now?"

"You type in 'launch,' backslash, 'port one,' backslash, 'zero-two.'"  
The calm tone to Kaji's voice was a sharp contrast with Misato's angry 
explanation moments earlier, but Neil hesitated for a moment, unsure 
about why Kaji was on the radio.  As if sensing his question, Kaji 
offered an answer almost immediately.  "Niobe's being launched in EVA-
05.  We've got power cords ready for both machines on the ship."

Misato shouted something about the fact that she should be in charge of 
deploying the Evas, but Neil ignored it, typing the commands as Kaji 
had instructed.  The top of the holding bay seemed to fold away, and 
Neil watched as the Eva behind him slowly rose to its feet, pulling 
itself out of the opened ceiling.  He'd never watched the huge things 
move before, only having seen them stationary or while he was inside 
one, and the effect was somewhat terrifying, seeing the great beast 
slowly clamber out of the holding bay like some undead monstrosity from 
its coffin.  "EVA-02 is out of the bay," he stammered, still somewhat 
shaken by the sight of the huge thing in motion.  He glanced at the 
display again, then his eyes went wide.  "It's saying that the unit has 
only three minutes of operation left!"

"EVA-02 activated on battery power.  That number will jump back up once 
it plugs itself into the main power feed at the top of the ship."  Sure 
enough, Neil heard a mechanical noise above, then the screen flashed a 
green light saying that EVA-02 was connected to an external power feed 
and the operation time began to go back up towards five minutes.  "Now 
hit the red button again to open a communications line with the pilot 
as well."

On the deck of the ship, Nieve smiled to herself as she drew the Eva up 
to its full height, feeling comfortable as she watched the spray of 
foam that she knew concealed the Angel racing about the other ships.  
Hearing the hiss of the radio, she leaned back in her seat and 
tightened her grip on the handles of the cockpit, keeping her mind 
focused on the external limbs of the Eva.  "Nieve, there should be a 
standard-issue pistol on Ship Seven," said Neil, sounding a little 
hesitant, something she only took quick notice of as she glanced around 
and located the seventh ship.  "Can you make it?"

"I think so," replied Nieve, judging the distance quickly.  The Eva 
couldn't make the jump directly, but Ship Twelve was between her and 
the target, and that made it the ideal stepping stone.  Crouching, she 
pushed off of the ship with all the force she could muster, feeling the 
air whistle past the surface of the unit as it hurtled towards the deck 
of the ship.  Forcing herself to ignore the sensation of fear that 
she'd miss the deck, she focused instead on the machine, keeping 
careful control as it slammed down on the ship's deck, tilting it 
slightly from the impact.  Letting herself drop into a crouch again, 
she jumped once more, noticing out of the corner of her eye that Niobe 
had already moved to her target and had the pistol in her hands.

Grimacing to herself and controlling her machine carefully as it landed 
on Ship Seven, Nieve saw the pistol instantly, grabbing it and letting 
her targeting system kick in as the furrow of water stilled slightly, 
then lunged in her direction.  Niobe was aiming at the beast already, 
and she made a quick gesture towards Nieve, who immediately took aim 
and started firing.  The bullets flew true, but slammed off the air a 
few feet away from the Angel, bouncing off the characteristic octagonal 
disturbance.  "Damn!  The Angel's AT field is too powerful!  Our 
weapons don't have any -"

Before she could finish speaking, Nieve realized that the Angel was 
headed straight for her, and to her shock the thing sprang out of the 
water, a spray of sewater following it as its huge jaws snapped open.  
The thing was even larger than she'd thought, far larger than the boat 
she was on, with jaws that seemed to take up half of its sharklike 
body.  As it lunged towards her, she saw a glint of red down where a 
throat should have been, a sign that she recognized instantly.  Moving 
quickly, she sent her Eva flying to one side as the beast's massive 
bulk smashed into Ship Seven, snapping the ship in two as the Angel 
sank back beneath the waves.

The leap hadn't been as controlled as she'd wanted, and she found 
herself almost tumbling out of control for a second before she forced 
the Eva to remain under control, landing roughly on Ship Twelve as the 
other ship began to sink, the spray of water cloaking the Angel pausing 
for a second as though unsure of where to go.  "Are you all right, 
Nieve?" asked Niobe, and Nieve glanced over to see EVA-05 on the move 
towards her position.

"Yeah," she replied, forcing her machine back to its feet as the 
Angel's distinctive wake began to turn around, curving back towards the 
ship that Nieve was standing on.  "I've figured out where its core is - 
it's located inside the Angel, down its throat."  She paused, still 
unsure if the radio feed was working correctly.  "Misato?  Can you hear 
me?"

"Loud and clear," replied Misato's voice as Nieve jumped away from the 
ship she had been standing on, letting the Angel slam into it and start 
to turn as she jumped closer to Niobe.  Niobe fought down a rush of 
panic as the other Eva landed on the boat, finding herself suddenly 
terrified of the thought that the Angel might come towards her.  "When 
the Angel attacked you, it opened its mouth.  You've got to hit it 
while it's attacking, otherwise you won't have a chance."

"Roger," replied Niobe, closing her eyes tightly for a second while she 
brought her pistol to bear.  She couldn't be afraid, not now, not once 
she'd finally gotten the chance she wanted to show how good she really 
could be as a pilot.  Keeping her eyes open and gritting her teeth, she 
rooted her Eva in place, waiting as the beast sprang out of the water 
and let its massive jaw open, then giving the target crosshairs a 
second to center on the glinting red core before pulling down hard on 
the trigger, repeating that she must not be afraid over and over like a 
mantra.

The bullets raced towards their target, then bounced harmlessly off of 
the Angel's AT Field, and Niobe's spirits sank.  "Target's AT Field is 
still too powerful to penetrate!" she shouted, hurling her Eva sideways 
with panicked quickness.  She meant for it to land on the nearest boat 
lightly, but she wasn't moving gracefully enough, and the yellow 
machine moved too far, flying over the boat and straight over the 
ocean.  Horror seeped into her bones, and for a split second she could 
feel the LCL in her mouth as if it was choking her, feeling like she 
was drowning.  Then she jerked hard on the handles and forced her 
machine to turn, barely grabbing onto the bow of the ship before the 
rest of her machine sank into the water with a colossal splash.

"Niobe!" shouted Kaji, watching with gritted teeth as the displays 
showed the malfunctioning portions of EVA-05's lower body.  The 
machine's access ports for the chemical bath hadn't been completely 
shut, and the salt water that was flooding into them was preventing 
most of the lower body from functioning until she could flush them 
out.  "Misato, EVA-05's lower torso is malfunctioning!  It's a sitting 
duck on that ship!"

Misato began to shout orders, but Nieve knew that there wasn't any time 
to debate tactical strategies, just to act before EVA-05 was eaten by 
the Angel.  And as she stared down at the spray of water sent up by the 
Angel, she knew there was only one way that they could neutralize the 
AT Field and still be able to defeat the Angel.  "Hey, Neil, you 
remember your battle with the Fourth Angel?" she asked, popping out the 
progressive knife from her left shoulder flange and grabbing it as she 
dropped her Eva into a crouch.  "Time for me to steal a trick from your 
book."

Before anyone could even try to talk her out of it, Nieve had launched 
her Eva skyward, but this time it wasn't towards another ship.  The 
Angel almost seemed to notice that she was descending towards it, blade 
the prog knife pointing downward, but it didn't slow down until she 
slammed hard into its AT Field, pushing the field inward for just a 
moment before it dissipated and she landed on the Angel's back.  
Without hesitation, she drove the prog knife hard into the beast's 
back, then gripped it firmly as the Angel began thrashing, desperate to 
get the Eva off of its back.

For a second, Neil could only stare in disbelief, then he remembered 
his role as operator and began watching the graphs again, occasionally 
glancing at the external camera and hoping that Nieve was all right.  
"EVA-02 has... um... I don't know what it did, exactly, but the Angel's 
AT Field has been dissipated."  His eyes widened, and he gritted his 
teeth, wishing that he could be outside, making up for the horrible 
thoughts he'd had earlier.  "It's taking a lot of damage from all of 
the Angel's thrashings.  Can't last much longer."

Hearing Neil's words felt like a slap across the face to Niobe, and she 
gritted her teeth, letting go of the pistol and preparing for something 
that she'd only tried once before with limited success.  "I'm not 
afraid," she whispered to herself, swinging EVA-05's body forward under 
the water, then backwards, then forwards again, then back and up in a 
massive arc.  The Eva pushed itself up and out of the water in a huge 
spinning flip, water flushing out of the chemical ports in long trails 
as the machine regained control over its lower body, then started to 
fall back towards the ship.  Slamming to a stop on the ship's deck, 
Niobe grabbed the pistol, taking aim on the Angel.  "Hold on just a 
little while longer, Nieve."

The targeting crosshairs centered on the Angel, and Niobe took a couple 
shots, drawing the Angel's attention.  Without thinking, it lunged 
towards the ship that Niobe was standing on, bursting out of the water 
with an added flourish as EVA-02's ducts began to flush themselves.  
Nieve smirked inside the machine as Niobe gritted her teeth, once again 
forcing herself not to be afraid as she let the crosshairs center on 
the red core, then fired without hesitation, jamming down on the 
trigger as hard as she could, firing until the pistol clicked empty.

All those watching the battle saw as the pistol discharged over and 
over into the Angel's mouth, a painful and decisive sight as the Angel 
continued to sail through the air.  Then they saw the thing slam into 
EVA-05, and there was a moment of panic as the ship lurched downwards, 
unable to easily support the combined weight of both Evas and the 
Angel, no clear indication that the Angel wasn't about to drag both 
Evas to the bottom of the ocean and leave them there.  It wasn't until 
the entire scene had remained frozen in place for a moment or two that 
it became clear that the Angel had only made it to the ship through 
sheer momentum.  "The Angel has been neutralized," announced Nieve, 
flashing a thumb's-up with her Eva as she climbed off the back of the 
huge sea beast.

                                  ]++[

Getting EVA-02 and EVA-05 back into their holding bays had proven to be 
an interesting task at best, an infuriating one at worst.  While 
transporting the two machines back was a simple task, they lacked the 
fine manipulators to reattach most of the restraints, and it was also 
difficult to shut the machines back down properly under the 
circumstances.  In the end, both machines wound up not being fully 
restrained except for a few jury-rigged mechanisms, with the entire 
crew assuming that any damage done to the machines would be easily 
repaired along with the damage from the Sixth Angel.

It had been an uninteresting voyage otherwise, though as Neil idly 
watched the two Eva units being unloaded from the ship he realized that 
there were few other things that could have happened to make the trip 
any more interesting.  For his part, he simply wished that he'd done 
more to help, along with still feeling bad about what he'd almost done 
to Nieve.  It had stuck in his brain uncomfortably, something that 
struck him as somewhat petty considering that nothing had actually 
happened, but disturbed him more by its implications than by actuality.

"Neil!" shouted Misato, drawing Neil's attention away from the ship and 
back to her newly-repaired car.  She'd gone to pick it up almost as 
soon as they'd arrived back in Tokyo-3, and she seemed quite protective 
of it now that it was finally out of the shop again.  "I've gotten all 
your stuff squared away - not that there was much of it.  Now all we 
need to do is to get Nieve, and we can go."

Before Neil could ask the question that sprang into his mind, he saw 
Nieve approaching the car herself, backpack slung over her shoulder and 
a suitcase in either hand.  Neil stepped forward to help, but she waved 
him off, looking particularly irate.  "Kaji just told me to come over 
here," she announced, not sounding happy about it.  "Would you care to 
explain to me why that is?"

"You need to live somewhere while you're in Tokyo-3," replied Misato, 
smirking as she took a set of keys out of her pocket and tossed them 
towards Nieve.  Nieve dropped a suitcase and caught the keys, examing 
them suspiciously for a moment as though they might bite.  Neil had a 
sneaking suspicion where the discussions was headed, a suspicion that 
was confirmed in his mind as soon as Misato stepped over and picked up 
Nieve's suitcase.  "Commander Ikari's orders.  You're rooming with us."

Staring for a second, Nieve looked at Neil, then at Misato, then back 
towards Kaji, who was busy loading Niobe's belongings into his car.  
She doubted, somehow, that she was going to be rooming with him, but 
the simple thought that she was getting that lucky ruffled Nieve's 
feathers, especially considering that she had more or less won the 
battle against the Angel for them.  "This trip just keeps getting 
better," she muttered, stepping over to Misato's car and cursing the 
heat.

                                  ]++[

Outro: Neon Epoch Evangelion is based off of -Shin Seiki Evangelion- by 
GAINAX and company.  It is not intended to be a straightforward fanfic, 
but it is building off the work of others, and as such it is done with 
the utmost respect for the original works and their authors.  
Basically, even though this is an original work, it's based off the 
work of others, and if you read this, you should go to see the original.

Special thanks to all of the real Children - you know who you are.

Extra special thanks to Joe Augulis for his consultation on the 
Japanese portions of the story.  He might not know much Japanese, but 
that's more than I know.  Considering that he also gave me a hand with 
the bible quote this time around, I'm starting to seriously owe him.

Copyright 2002 Eliot Lefebvre.

NEXT EPISODE:
             Know thy friends.
             Know thy enemies.
             Know thyself.
NEON EPOCH EVANGELION 6: GNOTHI SAUTON
"You don't work with the Eva, you tell it what it's going to do."

                                  ]++[

We only have a little time in our lives to waste.  Make the most of it.
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