From: eltf@hotmail.com (Eliot Lefebvre)
Subject: [Eva][FanFic] Neon Epoch Evangelion: Episode 7
X-Moderation-Queue-Date: 1 Jul 2002 16:27:13 -0700

Zankoku na tenshi no PRE-STORY WARNING:

This fanfic is an original take on GAINAX's "Shin Seiki Evangelion."
It contains alternative characters, plots, and a different overriding
internal logic.  It is intended, from the beginning, to be different.
This includes different Children and different histories.  In short: if 
the mere thought of someone other than Shinji in the cockpit of EVA-01 
makes you queasy, you are in -entirely- the wrong place.  Any and all 
flames stemming from this alteration will be mocked mercilessly.  You 
have been warned.

Okay, first of all, let me just make one thing clear about this 
episode: shades of lime abound.  Not the character, the style of 
fanfic.  The more prudish in the audience may take some small solace in 
the fact that it's all rather innocent and tasteful, but if you're 
looking for a sex-free episode, this ain't it.  Of course, it's an 
important plot point, so it's not like you can just skip it.  But fair 
warning.

I had other stuff to say, too, but I think that's enough warning for 
one episode.  For those wondering, the title is a Greek phrase - if you 
know it, it might seem oddly appropriate.  Enjoy.

                                  ]++[

               ]+ ELECTRONIC TRANSCENDENCE PRODUCTIONS +[
                                presents

                         ]+ NEON       EPOCH +[
                   ]+ E  V  A  N  G  E  L  I  O  N +[

                     ]+ EPISODE 7:  HIEROS GAMOS +[

                     By Eliot "Lostfactor" Lefebvre

             Based off of "Shin Seiki Evangelion" by GAINAX

                                  ]++[

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all 
knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not 
love, I am nothing.
- 1 CORINTHIANS 13:2

                                  ]++[

It was a beautiful day outside, even by the standards of a city that 
hadn't seemed capable of shifting out of summer since the Second 
Impact.  There was just enough of a breeze wafting through the air that 
the heat wasn't oppressive, just enough clouds drifting across the sky 
to keep the sun from beating down too harshly, just enough of a peace 
settling across the city that made it seem like the perfect day to run 
outside and do something actually enjoyable.  Of course, Vash realized 
idly that part of what made the day seem so perfect was the fact that 
he was stuck in the bland classroom, watching the sunlight stream onto 
rows of identical desks instead of the ground, listening to the 
professor drone on about the Second Impact as he seemed to do for every 
single class.

Vash was bored, a fact that he didn't even bother to try hiding, 
leaning back against his chair and yawning loudly as the professor 
explained what the old Tokyo was like before it was submerged.  It 
wasn't the fact that the lecture was nothing new, it wasn't the fact 
that the day outside was beckoning to him, and it wasn't even the 
simple nature of the classroom, boys and girls in perfect little rows 
with bland uniforms set against bland walls.  Much to his surprise, it 
wasn't even due to the fact that he had something else far more 
important on his mind.  It was the fact that the days felt as though 
they were blending together, as though the entire city was entering a 
collective yawn and expected everyone else to go along.  With the 
success of the mission against Jet Alone, NERV hadn't had a crisis to 
deal with for a week, leaving the Children to sink into a routine of 
synch tests, school, and waiting for another Angel attack.

"Hey, Vash, are you awake?"  The sudden noise of Kensuke's voice 
snapped the boy out of his reverie, and he sat up straight in his 
chair, focusing on the bespectacled face of his friend with a quick 
nod.  Kensuke stared for a second, then chuckled, shaking his head and 
standing from his seat.  "You really weren't paying attention.  It's 
time for lunch."

Nodding again, Vash stood, catching sight of Eiko sitting at her desk 
next to Ryo, her sketchbook opened and laying on the desk in front of 
her.  "You and Hikari go on ahead," he said to Kensuke, stepping down 
the row towards Eiko, smirking silently to himself.  Walking quietly, 
Eiko didn't even seem to notice the sound of his footfalls, totally 
absorbed in her latest sketch.  Vash leaned over her shoulder and 
watched for a moment, slightly surprised that she was sketching one of 
the Evas, then coughed.  "Eiko?"

Eiko gave a small start, then glanced up at Vash with a smile, smacking 
him lightly on the side.  "Jerk," she muttered, turning back towards 
her sketchbook with the smile still lingering on her face, her pencil 
reoriented for erasing.  "You shouldn't surprise me like that when I'm 
trying to draw.  Now I've got to do this entire portion over again.  
Hard enough to do it from memory as it is."

"I'm sure you'll get it right," replied Vash, reaching down and 
squeezing her shoulder affectionately, feeling gratified as she closed 
her eyes and let her head fall backwards slightly.  There was something 
about Eiko that had that effect on Vash; when she was happy, it made 
him feel better, whatever else was going on around him.  Then he 
remembered that he'd come over to talk with her for a reason, and he 
swallowed, still feeling slightly awkward about bringing up the topic.  
"So... do you still want to -"

"Of -course-," replied Eiko as her smile grew wider, pushing back from 
her chair and standing up, then embracing Vash heartily.  He was a bit 
surprised for a moment, then returned the embrace, feeling oddly 
energized by the warmth of her body next to his.  "I wouldn't have 
agreed otherwise."  There was a momentary pause, then she pushed back 
from him slightly and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.  "Now go on.  
I know everybody's waiting for you.  I'll be along as soon as I'm 
finished with this."

Vash nodded, returned the peck on the cheek, then headed out the door 
of the classroom after Hikari and Kensuke, the trio planning on having 
lunch out in the garden of the school.  Eiko watched him go for a 
second, then sat back down, feeling a slight tingle go through her body 
at the memory of Vash's words.  Her parents were always either thinking 
of her as the perfect young Japanese woman or trying to mold her into 
one, but she knew that they would have never counted on something like 
this.  She smirked at the thought, knowing how resentful they were of 
her open relationship with Vash, then turned back to her sketch, 
resolving to focus on other things.

"What were you planning on doing?" asked Ryo in his usual quiet tone, 
the voice further muffled by the fact that he was facing away from 
Eiko, with the end result that she didn't even realize he had said 
anything for a moment.  She turned to look at him, sunlight filtering 
through his pale blue hair as though it were glowing from the inside, 
his position almost artificial in the way that he held it.  "I could 
tell what Vash was going to say next."

The sound of Ryo when he was curious disturbed Eiko just enough to give 
her pause before she answered, as though he'd spent the past sixteen 
years of his life locked in a hole only being fed snippets of 
information.  At first, it had seemed almost endearing, but after 
knowing the boy for nearly two full weeks it had already grown to 
simply be one of his many vaguely disquieting habits.  "It's nothing," 
she replied, turning back towards her sketch, tracing the structures 
around EVA-04's eyes as best she could.  Something about the machine 
looked wrong, but she couldn't quite place what it was.  "Just... 
somewhere we were planning on going after school."

"I see.  That's why you didn't let him finish."  The statement was 
blunt and emotionless, but there was still the hint of subtext beneath 
it, and what bugged Eiko was the fact that she couldn't quite tell if 
she was reading something into nothing or if Ryo was being subtle 
enough that she couldn't quite tell the difference.  She turned back to 
her work again, trying hard to focus on something other than Ryo's 
comment, working on getting the details of the Eva's eye correct.

Before she knew it, her mind was superimposing Ryo's red eye over what 
she rememberd of the Eva's eyes, and she shook her head, realizing to 
her dismay that she wasn't going to be able to forget his question so 
easily.  She sighed, then put down her pencil, feeling very much as 
though she were betraying Vash.  "I'll tell you, but you have to 
promise me something, Ryo.  Promise me that you won't tell anyone else."

Ryo didn't reply for a moment, then turned slowly towards her, the 
light still filtering through his hair in an odd way, reflecting off of 
his red eyes and almost inhumanly pale skin.  "Who would I tell?" he 
asked, the question one that Eiko would have heard as bitter coming 
from anybody else.  He remained silent for a moment, and Eiko realized 
that the question was an accurate one, knowing that she was virtually 
the only person she saw him talk to outside of Dr. Ikari.

"All right," she muttered, taking a deep breath and glancing around the 
room to make sure that nobody else was listening to her or might 
overhear her.  She pushed down the pang of guilt in her chest, leaning 
towards Ryo so that she could whisper.  "My parents are out of town for 
the week, and this is the first night that we don't have synch testing 
to go to.  So Vash and I decided that tonight we would..."  She paused, 
feeling awkward simply thinking the words, much less saying them.  "We 
would give ourselves to one another."

For a moment, Eiko wondered if the euphamism was too much, if Ryo 
wouldn't understand what she was talking about.  Then his head cocked 
slightly to one side, and Eiko could see from the expression in his 
eyes that he understood her meaning even if he didn't understand the 
motivation.  "Why?" he asked, blinking once as he stared at Eiko, the 
question sounding almost childlike in its honesty.

Eiko was taken slightly aback, and she gritted her teeth involuntarily, 
turning away from Ryo once again.  "Because I love him," she replied, 
trying once again to finish the curving lines around the Eva's eyes and 
finding the pencil not going where she wanted it to.  "I mean, that's 
what you do when you love someone.  You give control to them, put 
yourself in their hands, because you trust that they won't abuse it.  
And they do the same."

"I see," replied Ryo, memories of last week's conversation with Nieve 
popping into his mind once again.  Once again, his thoughts drifted 
back to the battle against the Fifth Angel, and while he hadn't caught 
all of the radio conversation from the battle he remembered Eiko's 
words to Neil.  "What about Neil?"

Without even thinking, Eiko's hand jerked towards the paper forcefully, 
and she heard the characteristic snap of her pencil breaking as the tip 
erupted into small bits of lead, leaving a single black stain around 
the corner of the unfinished eye.  She suddenly found herself furrowing 
her brow, thinking about when she had been standing in the path of the 
Angel's beam, trusting that Neil would protect her, that he wouldn't 
let her die.  "Neil is just a friend," she said, breathing hard and 
forcing herself to remember that the statement was the truth.  "That 
was something different.  We were just... assuaging our fears."

Ryo stared for a moment, then nodded and turned back towards the 
window, leaving Eiko to her own thoughts on the topic.  At the back of 
her mind tickled the idea that loving someone was entirely about not 
being afraid of being alone, but she shook her head, feeling angry at 
herself both for telling Ryo about something that she shouldn't have 
and for doubting something that she knew was the right thing to do.  
Her gaze hardened, and she pushed back from her desk decisively, 
standing and walking to the front of the room to sharpen her pencil 
again and get back to work.  She knew what she was going to do, and she 
knew that it would finally send her parents a message about who she 
was.  Forcing everything else out of her mind, she pushed her pencil 
into the hole, trying to avoid grinning at the obvious implications.

                                  ]++[

"Synch ratio is up to 57%," noted Maya, her voice loud enough from 
surprise so that Niobe could hear her.  Sitting in the cockpit of the 
entry plug, feeling the body of her Eva around her, Niobe couldn't 
surpress a satisfied grin, knowing that she'd managed to surpass her 
prior record for her synchronization.  Though the facility had been 
quiet since the Jet Alone incident, she'd been practicing, doing her 
best to keep her focus steady for when another Angel did attack.  From 
the results of the test, it seemed to be working.

"Not a bad rate.  She's at the head of all the Children."  Ritsuko 
noticed the smile spreading across the girl's face on the monitor into 
the entry plug, and she smiled back despite the fact that Niobe 
couldn't see her, pleased to see that at least one of the Children was 
doing fine.  Misato's comments from the battle with the Third Angel 
hadn't come out of her mind despite the seemingly huge gulf of time 
between when the Third Angel attacked and the present day, but despite 
Misato's objections Niobe seemed to actually enjoy being inside the 
Eva.  "You're doing excellently, Niobe.  We'll just need a few more 
minutes, and then you can get changed."

"Do I have to?" asked Niobe, her grin widening, her question only 
partially sarcastic.  On some level, she was looking forward to getting 
out of the plug, the scent of the LCL clogging her nostrils and still 
making her feel somewhat queasy from time to time even years after 
she'd first breathed it in.  On another level, however, she wanted to 
keep training with her machine, to be absolutely ready as soon as the 
next Angel attacked to take it out by herself.  And, she admitted to 
herself, a part of her didn't want to go back to the barrenness of 
Ryo's apartment.

Ryo.  The thought hadn't even entered her mind until she thought of the 
apartment, but suddenly his face came into her mind like a tidal wave, 
the fact that she'd been spending time with her roommate for about a 
week and still barely knew him at all.  Trying to talk with him was 
agonizingly difficult, he never seemed to smile, and any conversations 
that he seemed to accidentally get himself involved in ended within a 
few utilitarian sentences.  Oddly enough, it didn't make him annoying; 
for Niobe, at least, it just made him more intruiging, almost as if he 
were challenging her to figure out what made him tick.

Maya frowned at the console display, hitting a few buttons quickly and 
double-checking the equipment monitors before leaning over towards the 
microphone.  "Niobe?  Your synch rate's down by four points now.  
That's a severe drop - are you all right?"

Even knowing that Maya was simply concerned, Niobe couldn't help but 
grit her teeth at the words, scolding herself for getting distracted.  
She knew that distractions would be the kiss of death for her career, 
that she couldn't afford to be making mistakes like that if she wanted 
to make Joseph and her mother proud of her.  "Sorry," she said, rubbing 
the back of her head idly.  "It's nothing."

Wondering what the girl was hiding, Ritsuko frowned at the monitor for 
a second, then heard the hissing noise of the doors opening and turned 
her head towards the only door in the room, seeing the familiar form of 
Dr. Fuyutsuki walking towards her, a thin smile playing upon his lips.  
She pushed away from the console instantly, standing up as straight as 
possible, and watched as his smile grew wider inexplicably.  "Vice-
Commander Fuyutsuki," she said, nodding in deference to him as he 
walked towards her.  "It's a pleasure to see you, sir.  Are you going 
to join us for Niobe's monitoring?"

"There's not much else to do in the monitoring room, is there?" he 
replied, his tone sounding almost envigorated as he leaned over Maya's 
shoulder and examined the display.  "Hmm.  She's doing even better here 
than she was in South Africa."  He paused for a second, then turned 
towards Ritsuko, still smiling.  "Actually, I didn't come down here for 
Niobe's synch tests.  I needed to talk to you about something."

Fuyutsuki could see from the look on her face that she wasn't thinking 
of the same thing as he was, and for a brief instant he felt his chest 
tense slightly, the only break in his otherwise regal facade.  "Maya, 
I'll be back over in a moment," Ritsuko announced, either not noticing 
Fuyutsuki's momentary lapse or simply not commenting on it as she 
brushed past him, stepping towards one of the far corners of the room.  
He remained in palce for a moment, then followed afterwards as she 
turned towards her, crossing her arms across the blue pull-ring blouse 
she was wearing, looking so much like her mother that it was almost 
disturbing.  "Is this about Ayanami?"

At the back of his mind, Fuyutsuki remembered sitting in a bar with one 
of his colleagues, before the Second Impact had occurred and he'd gone 
on to other projects.  It had been autumn then, one of the last few 
autumns that Japan would experience, and while he remembered that day 
for other reasons besides his conversation with his fellow professor, 
he remembered what he'd said, almost a warning, that he didn't value 
human connections enough.  Staring at Ritsuko and feeling a lump in his 
throat, Kozou found himself feeling as though he should have paid more 
attention at the time.  "Yes, it's about Ayanami," he lied, feeling 
somewhat cowardly.  "Gendou is still curious about the status."

"Such things take time," replied Ritsuko, smiling humorlessly and 
sinking her head slightly.  "'His' soul is still nearly pure, however, 
and it looks as though the Commander's theories were correct about its 
development.  I'll need to run a few final tests before I can be 
certain about anything, but it looks like everything is proceeding 
according to schedule."  She paused, looking up at Fuyutsuki somewhat 
curiously.  "Was there something else?  It seems odd that you'd come 
all the way down here just to ask me that."

"There's little else to do at the moment.  It's supposed to be my day 
off."  He mirrored her earlier grin, shaking his head and turning back 
towards the door.  "I'm getting too old for all of this.  I'm starting 
to think that I've been too old for it for years now."  He stared at 
the teal-gray door, and for a brief second he wondered if age was 
really the problem, if anything would have been different if he was ten 
years younger.  "Keep up the good work, Dr. Akagi."

"Likewise," replied Ritsuko as the door slid open and Fuyutsuki stepped 
out, an odd sort of abnormality in his step that she couldn't quite 
place despite years of working with the man.  Shrugging it off, she 
walked back over to the monitoring console, glancing quickly over 
Maya's shoulder to see if Niobe's synch ratio had gone back up after 
the drop.  It didn't seem to have fully recovered, but it was holding 
steady at 56%, still an impressive score.  "You're doing well, Niobe.  
I think we've got all we need for the moment."

"Dr. Akagi?" asked Niobe, blushing slightly at the thought of her 
question.  She'd overheard a little bit of the vice-commander's 
discussion with Ritsuko, enough to hear Ryo's last name spoken, and it 
had only reaffirmed her focus on the boy.  "Does Ryo... have any 
family?"  She paused, then shook her head.  "Wait.  That's not what I 
mean.  Everybody has family.  I meant -"

"No," she replied, gesturing for Maya to begin draining the entry plug 
and shut down the synchronization system.  Niobe looked visibly taken 
aback by Ritsuko's response even as she hacked up the LCL from her 
lungs, red-orange liquid falling across the yellow chest of her 
plugsuit.  "Ryo doesn't have any family that I'm aware of."  She paused 
for a moment, unsure of whether or not she was giving the girl too much 
information for her own good.  "The only family that I've ever seen him 
with is Dr. Ikari, and I know that's not really what you meant."

"Oh.  I see."  Niobe suddenly felt very small as she felt the entry 
plug lift up, moving so that she would be able to step out, the lights 
inside shutting off as it lurched to a horizontal position.  She'd 
never even thought about it before, but the sudden realization of Ryo's 
loneliness made her feel sad, as though she were intruding upon 
something.  "No wonder he doesn't have any keepsakes," she muttered, 
waiting for the top of the entry plug to pop open, to step out of the 
blood-scented cockpit and take a cleansing shower as she felt the same 
chill from a week prior begin to touch her.

                                  ]++[

Sighing, Neil grabbed the lone sweater that he'd packed with his 
clothes out of the closet, pulling the warm green fabric over his head 
and finally feeling some warmth seep back into his body.  He stood in 
place for a moment, then shook his head and stepped out, turning down 
the hall towards the living room where Nieve sat cross-legged on the 
couch, wearing blue jeans and a loose black blouse as she flipped 
through the channels on Misato's television idly.  "You don't think 
that it's even a little chilly in this apartment?" he asked, feeling 
vaguely ridiculous for wearing a sweater in such a normally hot 
location.

"You're kidding, right?" replied Nieve, rolling her head back onto the 
back of the couch, then turning it limply towards Neil, a mischevious 
smile on her face.  She saw from the expression on his face that he 
wasn't kidding, and she turned her face back towards the television, a 
broad smile spreading across it with the obvious implcation that she 
was struggling not to laugh.  "This is barely even comfortable, Neil.  
What kind of mutant heat tolerance are you Americans born with, 
anyways?  You think that it's the greatest thing in the world to be out 
in the sun enjoying yourselves.  If God had intended us to stay in the 
sun, he wouldn't have invented shade and clouds."

Dropping his head into his hands, Neil shook his head as best he could 
manage, groaning slightly.  "Yes, Nieve, we're total freaks.  It's 
unbelievably that we'd want to bask in the light of the star that makes 
our planet habitable instead of a barren hunk of lifeless rock."  
Sighing once more, he stepped over to the couch himself, flopping down 
on the green cushions at the other end, glancing over at Nieve briefly. 
She'd been living at the apartment for nearly a week, and Neil was 
finally beginning to feel more comfortable about her, no longer feeling 
the intense guilt he had about nearly hitting her.  Then he glanced 
towards the television, watching as two Japanese women ran around in a 
store trying to smash things.  "What the hell are you watching, 
anyways?"

"It's one of the more popular game shows around, according to Misato," 
she replied, chuckling involuntarily as the shorter-haired woman began 
to attack a bag of flour that burst into a cloud of white dust.  "I 
forget exactly what she called it - something like 'Arukade Mazushi Wa 
Hito Okane No Notaneno Kutsujyuko o Uketsukeru.'"  She paused for a 
second, and Neil could see her trying to mouth the Japanese words 
again, quiet sounds of the awkard syllables passing her lips before she 
frowned and shook her head.  "It's got to be the dumbest language in 
the world."

"Tolerant as always," replied Neil, staring at the television again.  
The two women had apparently moved beyond the stage of the game in 
which they broke things, now happily picking apples out of mud with 
their teeth and trying to throw them in a basket with their hands tied 
together.  Despite himself, Neil couldn't help but smile as an 
overenergetic announcer screamed urgent statements in Japanese, either 
pleased with the women's performance or damning them to hell by the 
sound of it.  "This is actually kind of amusing, in a sadistic sort of 
way."

Nieve smiled at him for a moment, then back at the television, vaguely 
registering the fact that Neil had moved slightly closer to her.  She'd 
entirely forgiven him for the incident on the ship, willing to admit at 
least to herself that part of the reason that she was annoyed about 
that was simply the fact that she'd lost control of the situation.  
Though she'd been certain that she'd hate him once they actually met, 
she couldn't help but find his company refreshing, even if she was 
starting to feel as though the rest of the world around her was going 
stale.  

Sighing, she tried to focus on the game show, but her last thought was 
sticking in her mind, reminding her of how uneventful things had been 
in Tokyo-3 after all.  She'd expected to be fighting the Angels, but as 
it turned out the city wasn't the hotspot of activity that she'd 
expected.  "I'm bored," she announced as one of the women on the 
television screamed in victory, while the other found the apples that 
she'd collected being thrown at her.

Her announcement seemed to come out of nowhere to Neil, and it took him 
a moment to register it as the show flashed what he assumed was the 
Japanese equivalent of a commercial announcement.  "You're the one who 
wanted to watch this," he noted, turning towards her and earning a 
glare for his comment.  Shrugging, he rubbed the back of his head, 
knowing that arguing with Nieve was an exercise in futility of the 
first order.  "All right.  What do you want to do?"

"Dunno," she replied, drumming her fingers on the padded arm of the 
couch, glancing around the pale yellow walls almost as if she expected 
something to emerge from them.  She knew that there wasn't much of 
anything that Neil could do about her particular breed of boredom, but 
having said something she knew she'd have to figure out something to 
do.  "We could play a game, I suppose."

"Is it bigger than a breadbox?" asked Neil almost unconsciously, 
grinning at the joke.  Nieve frowned in confusion and stared at him, 
and he shrugged.  "It's from a movie.  Twenty questions.  I ask you 
that, and you ask me what's supposed to be bigger than a breadbox, and 
then I tell you that I've never seen a breadbox so I..."  He paused, 
noting that the girl's expression wasn't changing, and he blushed, 
shaking his head.  "Never mind.  That's out."

Nieve thought for a moment, then grinned, turning her entire body 
towards Neil and grabbing his left arm, yanking him over towards her 
somewhat roughly.  Neil felt a momentary rush of heat in a familiar 
direction, but he forced himself to remember that he was being an 
idiot, that Nieve was just trying to have an easier time talking to 
him.  "We could play truth or dare," she suggested, the broad grin on 
her face obviously suggesting that she preferred that option.  "I 
haven't played that game in -years-, and it's fun."

"Yes, if you're a giggling twelve-year-old girl at a slumber party," 
replied Neil, frowning slightly at the mention.  Nieve frowned, and he 
held up a hand to signify peace, letting the frown evaporate from his 
face in hopes that Nieve wouldn't think he was too upset about the 
suggestion.  "All right, fine.  Do you want to go first, or should I?"

A small shudder of excitement went through Nieve's body, more at 
knowing that she was able to more or less force Neil into playing the 
game than out of any particular love for it.  "I'll go first," she 
replied, leaning back against the arm of the couch as far back as she 
could comfortably go.  "And I'll take a truth, if you don't mind.  Ask 
anything you want."

Neil shrugged.  "All right.  Don't you think that it's just a -little- 
cold in this apartment?  You've had the air conditioner on full-blast 
for nearly an hour now.  If Misato wasn't away at the late shift of 
NERV, she'd have turned it off a long time ago."

"Do you know how you're supposed to play this game?" muttered Nieve, 
shaking her head and frowning once again.  Neil simply smiled, and she 
was reminded not for the first time of how annoying the boy could be at 
times.  "You ask me something -personal-.  Something you don't think 
I'd want to tell you.  Otherwise, there's no point."  She paused.  "And 
no, I -don't- think it's cold in here."

"Fine," replied Neil, still smiling to himself.  He'd never been a 
particularly social boy, and while he didn't want to admit it this was 
the first time that he'd actually played the game with someone that he 
didn't know much about.  It was an almost intoxicating feeling, and 
without even thinking he'd come up with a question and let it tumble 
out of his mouth.  "If you could kill anyone on the planet, who would 
it be?"

There was a momentary pause as Neil actually realized what he said, and 
both Neil and Nieve stared at one another.  Neil imagined that she was 
wondering why the hell he'd ask a question like that, something that he 
couldn't blame her for.  For one second he was certain that she'd never 
look at him as anything but a horrible human being, that he should have 
asked pretty much any other question in the world and it would have 
been better.  Then Nieve smiled, as though she'd just gotten the 
punchline to the joke.  "You're a sick little boy, you know that?" she 
scolded, obviously thinking that Neil was kidding around.  Neil 
mimicked the smile, still somewhat bewildered by the fact that he'd 
asked the question in the first place.  "All right.  You obviously 
don't know how to do this.  We'll just skip to your turn."

Still feeling as though he were treading on dangerous ground, Neil took 
a deep breath, thinking for a moment on the choice.  "Truth," he 
announced at length, almost resolving to lie before he realized that it 
wouldn't make him feel any better about himself.

Nieve seemed to be greatly pleased by the boy's choice, and she bit 
down on her lower lip, tilting her head back and staring at the 
television as if expecting inspiration to strike.  She watched for a 
moment as the woman from before who had been pronounced victorious 
tried to make out with a cow, to predictable results, and an almost 
sinister grin spread across her face as she looked back up at Neil.  
"Okay, Third Child.  You might be the king of the battlefield -" Neil 
winced slightly at the title "- but tell me this: have you ever kissed 
a girl?"

In light of Neil's thoughts, the question came as something of a 
surprise, and once again it took him a moment to register.  "Yeah, 
plenty of times," he replied, glancing back towards the television, the 
game show apparently nearing the end, with the woman on screen covered 
in mud and cow slobber getting showered with yen.  "And you said I 
didn't get the point."

Only when Nieve hadn't responded for a full minute did Neil turn to 
look at the girl, not having expected such a long pause.  The color 
seemed to have drained from the rest of her face straight to her 
cheeks, making her normally pale skin even more stark against the 
bright red of her cheeks and hair.  Her eyes were wide with something 
between shock and hurt, her mouth frozen in a small "O" shape, suddenly 
looking vulnerable instead of relaxed as she lay across the couch.  
"Nieve?  Is something wrong?"

"Um, no.  Not a thing."  She closed her mouth firmly, her expression 
turning perfectly blank as she sat up and then rose from her seat, 
tugging down briefly on her blouse.  "I'm going to go to sleep now.  
It's late, and I'm tired."  She paused, and Neil could tell that she 
was making a concentrated effort not to look at him.  "I'll see you 
tomorrow morning at breakfast."

There was no doubt in Neil's mind that there was something else going 
on as Nieve walked swiftly around the couch, out of the room and down 
the hall, stepping into her room and slamming the door as Neil 
watched.  Shutting off the television, he thought he could hear the 
noise of quiet sniffling, and he lingered on the couch for another 
moment, then sighed, picking himself up off the couch.  Whatever was 
wrong, unsurprisingly, was his fault, and that meant that he was 
obligated to help her.

                                  ]++[

Vash was in the bathroom, though Eiko wasn't sure if it was out of an 
actual need to relieve himself or an attempt to make sure that he 
didn't falter when the moment came.  Staring at the ceiling of her room 
as she lay on her back, the plain tan faux-wood shimmering slightly in 
the light from her floor lamp, she couldn't really blame him, suddenly 
feeling very nervous herself.  She knew that she wanted to do this, 
knew that she was doing something that would be wonderful, but glancing 
down at her navy blue sheets and fluffy white comforter, around the 
room to her various manga posters and artwork, it was difficult not to 
get a sense of the sheer weight of the occasion.

"I'm going to lose my virginity tonight," she muttered to herself, 
feeling a slight tremor beneath her skirt and turning over to feel the 
soft fabric of the bed.  "These are the sheets that I'll make love on 
for the first time.  My school uniform is going to be the last outfit I 
wear before I become a woman."  She smiled, feeling somewhat wistful 
already, scolding herself gently for being immature.  If her parents 
had even the vaguest inkling of what was going on in their apartment 
while they weren't there, they would have a heart attack instantly.

Her parents.  She'd heard jokes, in movies, about thinking about your 
parents before sex, but for some reason the thought didn't make her 
nervous as she pushed back from the bed, now kneeling and facing the 
headboard, looking at the art that she'd plastered over the dull mother-
of-pearl wall.  If anything, the thought about her parents made her 
feel more resolute, more certain about what was going to happen.  "Your 
little girl isn't going to grow up as some silly little ninny," she 
muttered to herself, closing her eyes and remembering the first time 
her father had ever told her what he expected of her.  She felt a 
slight pain in her chest at the thought, and she forced herself to take 
a deep, cleansing breath, reminding herself that she was doing the 
right thing.

"Eiko?"  Vash's voice was unusually quiet, his usual surface bravado 
stripped away.  Eiko paused for a moment, then stood from her bed and 
turned towards him, nearly on the opposite side of the room due to the 
position of her bed.  Both stood for what seemed like an eternity, 
staring at each other as though getting any closer would be poisonous, 
with the sort of trepidation that could only come from inexperience.  
At length, Vash sighed, reaching up and rubbing the back of his head.  
"Okay.  Do, um, you know what we do first?"

"Not exactly," replied Eiko, lifting her left arm hesitantly, then 
gritting her teeth slightly and taking a step towards Vash, knowing 
that one of them had to do something to get through the nonexistent 
barrier between them.  Her single step seemed to do exactly that, and 
Vash stepped towards her as well, both taking their slow paths towards 
on another until they were nearly touching.  Eiko reached over and took 
his hand, squeezing it gently, then lifted his arm and put it on her 
shoulder.  "I think... I think we just have to hold each other and 
kiss, like we usually do.  We're human.  The rest will come."

Swallowing hard, Vash nodded, then drew Eiko closer in an embrace, and 
Eiko blushed involuntarily as she felt the physical display of Vash's 
emotions quite starkly.  She stared at him for a second, then pushed 
her head forward into a kiss, her tongue seeking out his almost 
hungrily as their mouths opened together, the embrace pulling tighter 
as their tongues danced between them.  Eyes closed tightly, Eiko began 
to feel the familiar feelings creep through her body, a desire for 
something more, to be closer to Vash, as close as they could possibly 
be.

Gripping the collar of Vash's shirt firmly, Eiko tugged him back 
towards her bed, smiling even as her breathing began to come slightly 
faster, an odd sort of sensation spreading from her chest through her 
entire body.  She broke the kiss for just a second to smile at him, 
then flopped backwards onto the bed, pulling Vash along with her.  The 
sense of hitting the sheets came at almost the exact same instant that 
Vash was, quite suddenly, atop her, his warmth seeming to encompass her 
body, and Eiko couldn't help but give a little gasp as she felt a 
slight tremble from between her lgs.  "This is nice," she whispered to 
his ear, staring up at the boy as they looked at one another.  "This is 
very nice."

"Yeah," replied Vash, pausing for just a moment before he tenatively 
raised his right hand and set it down on Eiko's right breast, as though 
he were afraid that touching it might burn him.  Eiko felt the fabric 
of her shirt and bra suddenly contort against the soft flesh beneath, 
and another small tremor went through her body as Vash began to rub the 
spot, moving his hand around on her chest as though he were trying to 
figure it out.  The girl's breathing was definitely coming faster now, 
and she reached up to him, pulling his head down towards her and 
shoving her tongue as far into his mouth as she could reach, eyes shut 
tightly.

Feeling Eiko's excitement, Vash pushed his own tongue into her mouth, 
still kneading the soft skin of her breast through her shirt while 
bringing up his other hand to touch against the second.  As Vash 
squeezed the fabric of her shirt on her other breast and she felt the 
tickling of her nerve endings, another tremble went through her body, 
and her back arched slightly, pressing her closer against the boy as 
she let out a soft moan.  Her legs were trembling, she realized in the 
back of her mind, and there was a newfound sense rising between them as 
Vash worked her breasts gently, their tongues probing one another and 
bodies locked close together.

A thought drifted across Eiko's mind as the fabric encompassing her 
breasts tightened, and as she trembled she began to spread her legs 
ever so slightly, feeling a rush of surprise as Vash's legs began to 
slide between them, her skirt riding up on her hips as they gently 
parted.  Vash, apparently getting the idea, pushed his legs downward, 
spreading Eiko's legs faster than she had been, and in an instant she 
felt a hard pressure between her legs, pressing against her and filling 
her with an almost unspeakable passion.  "That feels wonderful," she 
gasped, arching her back slightly and feeling a surge through her body 
as she rubbed against him.  "That... it..."

"I know," replied Vash, sounding just as breathless as he paused for a 
moment before pushing against the spot, sending Eiko into another 
tremor of excitement from the contact.  Words failed her, and she 
simply gasped as her body sent decisive approval through every fiber of 
her being, the whole of her skin suddenly feeling as though it had been 
stretched tighter to let her feel everything more clearly.  At the same 
instant, she felt Vash's hands clutch against her chest more tightly, 
and involuntarily she felt herself buck against the boy between her 
legs, feeling another wave of excitement flow through her as a sticky 
wetness began to grow between her legs.

Eiko suddenly felt incredibly empty, as though Vash were too far away, 
and reaching up she began to undo his shirt with trembling hands, her 
body beginning to lose control under the gentle ministry of his hands 
and the perfect thrusts against her between her legs.  His shirt fell 
open, a thin trace of sweat visible against his chest, and Eiko tried 
to pull him closer, wanting to feel more of his skin against hers, feel 
his warm all over her body.  Vash resisted, and she found herself 
wondering why for a moment before she felt his hands raise off of her 
breasts and move to the buttons of her blouse, telicately undoing each 
one as he continued to press against her gently.  The air in her room 
seemed to kiss along her bare skin as the blouse opened, and even the 
simply contact of his fingers against her skin sent her into further 
excitement.

Her blouse fell open, and Vash's fingers spread the thin white fabric 
further, letting his fingers brush across her bare stomach as Eiko felt 
her chest heave.  For a moment, both froze, the situation somehow 
losing its reality, becoming more fluid and mystical in the growing 
passion of the two.  Then Eiko could stand no more waiting, and she 
pulled Vash closer to her, feeling herself tremble as their stomachs 
touched, Vash's open shirt falling limply around her.  Vash seemed to 
instantly regain his train of thought, and his hands sought and found 
her breasts once again, carsessing the partially-exposed skin with 
newfound passion, and Eiko gasped as she hugged him more tightly, 
arching her back in slow and steady rythym with the motion of his 
legs.  "Vash," she gasped.  "Vash... Koji, I love you."

"I love you, Eiko," the boy replied, leaning his head closer and gently 
tracing along Eiko's neck with his tongue.  She felt the heat in her 
body grow as her hands clenched involuntarily, feeling every single 
part of her body in ways that she never had, every point of contact 
with Vash another electric rush through her most sensitive areas.  
Leaning her head back, she let herself gasp softly, almost sounding 
like whimpering as the two Children moved together as though they'd 
been practicing secretly for years, their bodies complementing one 
another perfectly.  Eiko smiled broadly as her gasps grew louder, 
Vash's fingers beginning to trace tenatively under the lace of her bra, 
sending new waves of pleasure through her body.  She remembered her 
conversation with Ryo in school, and knew that she'd told him the right 
thing, that this was all she wanted, to give control of her body to 
Vash entirely.

Then she thought, almost inexplicably, of Ryo's words about Neil, just 
as Vash pushed against her between her legs in a way that she hadn't 
expected, eliciting a loud gasp of pleasure even as the smile faded 
from her lips.  The thought of Neil suddenly wouldn't leave her mind as 
Vash's tongue traced downwards towards her bra, and she found herself 
feeling guilty, as if she were doing something wrong.  Pushing the 
thought from her mind, she moved her hands towards Vash's head as his 
tongue gently flicked across the surface of her breast, still feeling a 
warm stickiness flooding from between her legs, her body obviously 
wanting what was being offered to it.

Despite her efforts, as she closed her eyes and gasped she saw Neil's 
face once again, as if he were watching her.  She could see on his face 
the look of absolute terror that he'd had after the Fifth Angel was 
defeated, the seemingly boundless concern that she'd been injured, and 
Eiko's mind suddenly felt guilty about her actions, as though she truly 
was doing something wrong.  Her body felt differently, and she pushed 
hard against Vash once again, sending another tremor through her body 
in reaction.  The sensation was wonderful, but she knew even as it 
tingled across her skin that she couldn't keep going, that it wasn't 
right.  "Stop," she whispered, her mouth dry and her body actively 
protesting the concept.  "Vash, stop.  Stop."

For a moment, it seemed as though Vash hadn't heard her or had simply 
chosen not to stop, and the latter thought sent a minor rush of terror 
through her at the obvious implications.  Then the boy's motion against 
her slowed and stopped, his hands resting on her breasts as he moved 
his head to look at her, obviously disbelieving.  "What's wrong?" he 
asked, frowning and removing his hands, glancing over her body.  "Did I 
hurt you?  If you need me to move, or something, I'll do it.  Believe 
me, at this point I'd just about -"

"You didn't hurt me, honey," Eiko replied, touching his cheek gently 
with her right hand and feeling very exposed as she lay beneath him.  
Almost unconsciously, she reached over to her right side and drew her 
blouse across her, feeling as though everyone was staring at her 
despite the emptiness of the room.  "I... I just can't right now."  She 
sighed, closing her eyes and feeling tears tickling at the back of 
them.  "I'm sorry.  I know we talked about this, I just... I'm not 
ready right now."

Vash stared at her for a second, then pushed away from her and stood 
from the bed, leaving Eiko to close her legs.  "You certainly could 
have fooled me," he said, sounding quietly angry as he began to button 
his shirt, turning away from Eiko and obviously upset about the 
situation.  Eiko stood herself, letting her skirt fall back down her 
hips and her blouse fall open once again, stepping over to Vash and 
touching his shoulders gently and hearing him sigh.  "Sorry.  I'm not 
mad."  He paused.  "We don't have to rush things, honey.  It's all 
right if you're not ready.  I just sort of wish that you'd told me this 
before."

"I know," replied Eiko, turning her back towards Vash and starting to 
button her blouse, feeling as though she couldn't have possibly done 
the right thing.  She hadn't meant to stop, hadn't even wanted to, and 
as the warmth between her legs faded she realized that she still wanted 
Vash.  But despite that, she found herself almost glad that she'd asked 
Vash to stop, the thought of Neil still filling her mind's eye, the 
indescribably sweet expression on his face as he pulled open the entry 
plug.  Sighing, she finished buttoning the blouse, beginning to tuck 
the white fabric back into her skirt, feeling as though her parents had 
won despite her best efforts.

                                  ]++[

The bustle of Tokyo-3's streets was all but lost upon Ryo as he walked 
slowly and resolutely down the sidewalk, his eyes focused loosely on 
his destination and only deviating momentarily to get a scan of the 
surrounding area.  The sun was nearing the final stretch of its motion 
across the sky, and people were going home, back to their families, 
something that Ryo knew academically even without knowing it from 
personal experience.  "Home," he muttered to himself, his voice quiet 
enough that none of the people walking near him on the sidewalk seemed 
to notice the blue-haired boy talking to himself.

"Home is where the heart is.  Home is where you lay your hat.  Home is 
where your loved ones are."  The phrases were all that he really knew 
about what the word meant, and he found himself stopping, staring 
across the street at a small apartment building, a middle-aged woman 
calling to a group of children and ushering them inside.  Academically, 
of course, he knew what a home was - it was a place where people lived, 
an area from whence something originated.  But he'd become increasingly 
curious about whether or not words that he knew the meaning of didn't 
have another meaning, one that Dr. Ikari simply had never explained to 
him.

"I don't have a hat," Ryo said after a moment, a statement that would 
have been bitter coming from anybody else but was simply a statement of 
fact from him.  "I don't have loved ones.  My heart is in my chest."  
He paused for a moment longer, then realized that he had been watching 
the mother and her children for too long, that they were inside and he 
had broken from the routine that Commander Ikari had given him.  
Turning sharply on his heel, he returned to his steady pace down the 
sidewalk, heading towards his apartment building, feeling neither 
relieved nor bitter about being done with his testing for the day.

Ryo found himself thinking back on Eiko's words as he continued to 
think on the idea of a home, thinking about what it meant to have a 
home.  The girl had told him that you had control over what you loved 
because it gave control to you freely, because you surrendered your 
control to it in turn.  Thinking on the subject, he knew that he had no 
such place, that wherever he went he was controlled by routine.  He had 
no say in the routine, only the terse statements that Dr. Ikari laid 
out for him, even in the Eva.  Nieve had said that the Eva was a place 
where she had total control, and Ryo thought on that for a moment 
before another thought entered his mind.

Freezing in place again, Ryo stared blankly into space, fascinated with 
the new concept that had implanted itself into his brain.  He had no 
illusions about who he was, but something had occurred to him as he 
thought on Nieve.  She was in total command of herself, from what Ryo 
had seen, and that meant that she had more than enough control.  And 
Eiko had said that loving someone meant that you gave control to them, 
that you surrendered all control to their hands.  "Perhaps that's the 
answer," he whispered to himself, feeling an odd sensation flood his 
body.  "Love gives you control.  If someone loves you, you have 
control."

Turning his head, Ryo looked away from the direction that his apartment 
complex lay in, instead looking down in the direction of Misato's 
apartment.  He had been told by Gendou to memorize the locations of all 
the dwellings of NERV personnel in the event of an emergency, and he 
had done so as a part of his routine, without any sort of complaint.  
It was simply another insertion to routine, nothing that was abnormal, 
but now it began to tickle at the back of his mind, the knowledge that 
in that direction lay Nieve's dwelling.  It wasn't new information, but 
for some reason it seemed to be registering for the first time, as 
though she'd never been there before.

"Nieve has control," he muttered to himself, beginning to pick up his 
feet and turn slowly away from his destination, something deep within 
him pulling against it.  He knew that he wasn't to deviate from his 
routine as he was contemplating, that he was supposed to keep heading 
to his apartment, to cook dinner, exactly as Gendou had laid out for 
him.  Still, there was something that suggested this deviation from his 
routine was important.  "If she loves me, she gives me her control.  I 
have control."  The last words seemed almost alien to Ryo, as though 
they'd come from someone else's mouth even as they passed his lips.

An eternity seemed to pass Ryo by as he found himself torn between 
routine and the strange sensation that he should seek out Nieve, that 
she would give him something he'd never experienced before.  Finally, 
he pulled his feet away from the path to his apartment, turning fully 
to face down the street that held Misato's apartment, then began to 
walk slowly across the street.  His mind railed against his actions 
with as much intensity as Ryo ever had, but something deeper told him 
that he should continue, the voice within seeming to grow more urgent 
with each heavy footfall.

                                  ]++[

It had been too long since Nieve had entered her room, and Neil was 
getting tired of waiting outside, feeling terrible enough as it was 
without her silence towards him adding to the problem.  Sighing, he 
knocked lightly on the door to her room, ignoring the scrawled message 
posted outside that she was not to be disturbed.  "Nieve?" he called a 
second or two after knocking, hoping that the knowledge of who it was 
would make her more receptive.  "Are you going to tell me what's going 
on, or -"

"Go away!" shouted Nieve from inside the room, her words snapping 
across Neil's face like a slap from a metal glove.  Neil winced 
physically at the harsh tone to her voice, leaning away from the door 
and up against the doorframe somewhat weakly.  He hadn't meant to make 
her so upset, and worse yet he didn't even know what he'd done.  It 
felt as though it had been an eternity since he'd been able to have a 
simply fun night with a friend, much less a girl, and the thought that 
he'd ruined something so wonderful made something clench up inside him.

Closing his eyes for a second, Neil leaned his arm back and rapped 
against the wood of the door once again, this time slightly gentler.  
"I thought I told you to go away!" snapped Nieve, this time with a note 
of sorrow shining through the girl's elegant Irish accent.  Her words 
cut just as deep as before, but Neil gritted his teeth, resolving that 
he wouldn't give up until she at least looked at him again.  Knocking 
again, he turned back towards the door this time, focusing all of his 
efforts on making himself stay strong, on not panicking over something 
so trivial.  "Gods, Neil, just go watch a damn movie or something!  
What the hell do you -want-?"

"To know what's going on!" replied Neil, his eyes narrowing and his 
brow furrowing in frustration.  Nieve didn't respond immediately, and 
Neil took that as a sign that she wanted him to continue talking, 
though in the back of his mind he was aware that he would have heard 
that no matter what she'd said.  "I was having fun with you, Nieve, and 
now you're angry with me.  Don't I at least get to know what it is that 
I did wrong?"

"-Everything-!" snapped Nieve, pulling the door open suddenly and 
shocking Neil into freezing in place.  Her eyes were bloodshot, and 
there were small wet stains darkening the fabric of her blouse, both 
signs that Neil recognized.  However, looking at the anger burning in 
her eyes instead of the small droplets of water gathering at their 
corners made it clear that she had no interest in being comforted by 
the boy.  "You don't get it at all, do you?  I -don't- -like- -you-!  
I've disliked you since before I even -met- you, and living with you 
hasn't made anything better!  Now go the hell away and leave me alone 
like I -told- you to!"

Nieve's door slammed shut in Neil's face, the boy's facial muscles gone 
slack, eyes a mixture of shock and sorrow, something between anger and 
devestation moving through his mind.  On some level, he felt as though 
he'd known the truth of the matter, that he knew Nieve didn't like him, 
that he shouldn't have obscured that from himself.  Another part of him 
wanted to be angry, wanted to simply break through her door, to hurt 
her the way that she'd hurt him.  The two thoughts seemed to war with 
one another, and Neil could only stare at the wooden door blankly, 
wanting at once to both walk away and walk into the room.

A moment or two later, the door opened again, and Nieve stepped out, 
staring dead at Neil.  Neil's brain remained fused for a moment, then 
he began to stammer something resembling an excuse, taking a couple 
steps backwards before Nieve's left hand jerked up and grabbed his 
sweater by the chest, pulling him to a stop.  "Don't go," she muttered, 
staring towards the ground, obviously upset about before.  "I owe you 
an apology."  She paused for a second, then weakly let go of Neil's 
sweater.  "I don't dislike you, Neil.  I used to.  Heck, sometimes I 
even wish that I did.  But I don't dislike you."

"Well, that makes us living together work a little more smoothly," 
noted Neil, unconsciously clenching and unclenching his fists, trying 
to dissipate the feeling of anger he'd gotten from before.  It was 
eerily reminiscent of when he'd met Nieve, as though there was some 
connection between their anger.  Taking a deep breath, he shoved the 
thought out of his mind, focusing instead on the downturned face of his 
other roommate.  He felt the urge to reach over to her, but something 
in him told him that it was better if he didn't.  "What made you so 
angry?"

"You wouldn't understand," Nieve replied, turning away slightly and 
sniffling.  A single tear fell from the corner of her eye, and she 
wiped it away as fast as she could, hoping that Neil hadn't noticed 
it.  She felt ridiculous enough as it was, and she hated the sensation 
that she'd let herself go so badly, that Neil could see every 
imperfection about her.  It bothered her, and she was only distantly 
aware of the fact that it was upsetting her more than she'd expected, 
trying to focus her attention on the grain of the wood in her door 
instead.  "It's nothing."

Neil frowned for a moment, then clenched his left hand momentarily 
before reaching towards Nieve's shoulder, feeling a rush of blood 
through a familiar area as he forced himself not to panic.  Nieve's 
shoulder shifted slightly, and the fabric of her blouse fell slightly 
off of her shoulder, sending another jolt of excitement through the boy 
standing near her and leaving him to almost jerk his hand forward, 
landing somewhat roughly on her shoulder.  She reacted almost 
immediately, and for a split second Neil worried that she'd be angry, 
but instead she simply turned towards Neil, eyes wide simply with 
curiosity.  "Tell me," he said softly, feeling another emotion besides 
fear start to trickle through him.

"It... it was when you said that you'd kissed a girl before," she 
replied, folding her arms across her chest uncomfortably and looking 
down once again.  "Being part of NERV... I was kind of like Ireland's 
national celebrity for a while, one of the Children going to defeat the 
beasts that would ravage our world.  I've had more boyfriends than I 
can even count."  She paused for a moment, not noticing that her words 
were obviously making Neil a little uncomfortable.  "But... I never 
kissed any of them.  I've never kissed before."

Hearing a soft sort of stacatto whimper coming from Neil, Nieve 
suddenly felt a surge of guilt, almost certain that he was crying a 
little.  In an instant, she felt as though she'd been an idiot, that he 
must have been lying about kissing a girl before, that he'd only said 
it because he assumed that she'd kissed a boy before.  Then she looked 
up, and her expression darkened as she saw that Neil was giggling 
slightly.  "You've really never kissed a boy?" he asked, obviously 
doing his best to restrain from laughter.

Nieve's hand exploded hard across Neil's cheek, and Neil had the 
distinct sense that he should have known better beforehand as he turned 
back towards the girl and rubbed his cheek.  "-Jerk-!" she snapped, 
stepping back into her room and slamming her door once again as Neil 
hear the hiss of Pen-Pen's refridgerator opening.  "I should have known 
that I was right about you the first time!  Go away!"

"Oh, come on, Nieve, I'm sorry," replied Neil, knocking on her door as 
he looked over towards Pen-Pen, who had presumably been woken from his 
sleep due to all the noise.  The penguin and the boy stared at one 
another, and Neil grinned sheepishly, waving at the smaller bird for a 
second before he turned back towards Nieve's door and knocked again.  
"Please?  Pretty please?  Talk to me?"

"What, so you can get a few more laughs?" shouted Nieve through the 
door as Pen-Pen made a small "wark" noise and headed towards the door 
to the bathroom.  Nieve no longer seemed even vaguely sad about the 
situation, only angry.  "No thanks!  Go away and find something -else- 
to laugh at!"  She paused.  "And don't think that Misato isn't going to 
hear about the way you've treated me, either!"

Sighing, Neil knocked on the door once again, leaning forward against 
the wood finish and feeling as though he'd managed to screw things up 
once again by simply being himself.  He really hadn't meant to do 
anything mean, it had just struck him as a little funny, and he 
couldn't keep himself from laughing a little at the thought.  "Nieve, 
really, I'm sorry," he shouted, listening for a moment and receiving no 
response.  "If it makes you feel any better, it's really not all it's 
cracked up to be!"

There was another momentary silence from behind Nieve's door, and Neil 
wondered if he should repeat himself, leaning his ear towards the 
surface.  "WHY THE -HELL- WOULD THAT MAKE ME FEEL -BETTER-?" screamed 
Nieve, almost the instant that his skin touched the wood, causing Neil 
to wince backwards at the sheer volume of her statment.

"Um... I don't know," replied Neil, rubbing his ear casually and 
wishing that he hadn't decided to go with such a stupid plan.  He 
paused for a moment, wondering if Nieve was truly as angry as she was 
acting, then decided that giving up would only make things worse as he 
reached forward and knocked on her door again, sighing heavily.  "Look, 
Nieve, when I said that I'd kissed a girl before, I exaggerated a 
little.  It hasn't been 'plenty of times.'  Just a couple.  Does that 
make you feel any better?"

No response came for a moment, and Neil sighed, shaking his head and 
turning away from the door just as the door creaked open again.  Neil 
froze, then turned towards the door, hoping that he'd see Nieve sad 
once again for getting so angry with him.  She didn't look even 
remotely sad, but at least she didn't seem as angry as before, which 
was at least a step in the right direction.  "Why did you exaggerate?" 
she asked, cautiously stepping out of her room and towards the boy, her 
motions slow but graceful.

"Because I wanted you to be impressed," Neil sighed, sinking his head 
and ignoring the small yelp of triumph from Nieve's direction.  "I'm 
sorry.  I should have been honest, I just..."  He shook his head, 
remembering all the other times that he'd horribly struck out with 
women and feeling like an absolute wreck.  "I was having fun spending 
time with you.  I didn't want it to end, and I didn't want you to think 
I was some kind of loser."  He shut his eyes tightly.  "But I shouldn't 
have lied."

"You lied to try and impress me," repeated Nieve, grabbing Neil's chin 
and pulling his face back up to her level.  His eyes flew open at the 
unexpected contact, and for a moment all he could register was the look 
on her face, suddenly happy once again, a moment that was only broken 
by the noise of the bathroom door opening again and Pen-Pen announcing 
his presence with a warking noise.  "That... well, it's not exactly 
sweet, I guess, but I don't think any other boy has done that for me."  
She paused, then blushed, putting a hand to her mouth as she giggled 
slightly.  "Listen to me.  I sound like a ninny."

Shaking his head, Neil found himself suddenly unconcerned with the 
brief surges of anger he'd felt towards the girl, totally fixated on 
her simple presence so close to him.  There was something about her, 
something unspeakably attractive, a sort of vibrancy about the way that 
her hair fell and her mouth moved as she spoke that captivated him.  
"You don't sound like a ninny," he said, scolding himself internally as 
familiar feelings began to bubble within his lower areas once again.  
"You sound..."  He paused.  "Cute."

Nieve giggled again, then smiled and turned towards Neil, putting her 
hands behind her back and holding them together tightly as she forced 
herself to be brave.  "Okay, Neil.  I've thought of how you can make 
your lying up to me."  She paused for a moment, letting Neil lean 
towards her, hanging on her next words.  Basking in the power for just 
a moment, she turned her head slightly away and closed her eyes, still 
smiling broadly.  "Kiss me."

The words came unexpectedly, and even though Neil very much liked the 
concept he found himself freezing, certain that he must have misheard 
her.  He paused for a moment, then decided that he was reading too much 
into the statement, that she meant something different.  "On the 
cheek?" he asked, eyes wide.

"Are you an idiot?" snapped Nieve, frowning momentarily and raising her 
hand slightly as if she was going to slap him again.  Then she smiled 
again, turning her head towards Neil and opening her eyes again.  "No, 
on the lips.  I..."  She felt a sudden tightness in her chest, 
something that she couldn't remember ever having felt before.  "I want 
you to give me my first kiss."

"Um."  The noise escaped Neil's lips more out of an absolute 
bewilderment about what to say than anything else, the entire situation 
leaving him at a loss for words.  His life had never consisted even 
partially of girls, attractive or otherwise, asking him to kiss them, 
and his mind was already making him try to second-guess Nieve's 
statement.  "Isn't this something you should save for someone that 
you're dating?  And this could make living together kind of awkward.  
Now that I think about it, if we're going to be piloting the Evas 
together, we might need to -"

"Gods, you -are- an idiot," muttered Nieve, slapping herself on the 
forehead and forcing herself to ignore the little voice in the back of 
her head telling her that he simply wasn't attracted to her at all.  
"I'm -asking- you to kiss me.  I -want- you to kiss me.  Is that such a 
terrible thing?"

"I..."  Neil paused for a moment, then shook his head as he realized 
that his objections weren't doing any good, that he was betraying the 
old adage about not looking a gift horse in the mouth.  He swallowed 
hard, then took a step towards Nieve, feeling the familiar tingling 
sensation spread through his lower body as he gently put his hands 
around her shoulders.  She seemed to tremble a little at the contact 
herself, and Neil saw a hint of nervousness in her eyes, something that 
he couldn't remember having ever seen before.  "So.  What do you know 
about this?"

Rolling her eyes involuntarily, Nieve forced herself up higher, 
stretching to her full height, still notably shorter than Neil.  
"You're the veteran, Third Child," she replied, intending to sound 
confident but whispering despite herself.  The immediacy of the moment 
was slowly sinking into her mind, and it became more and more 
frightening with every moment that she waited.  "You tell me what to 
do."

"Well, you'll need to tilt your head back a little, and, er, I'll need 
to lean down, so that our mouths are a little closer," replied Neil, 
feeling very awkward as he leaned his head towards the girl's, her head 
tilting back.  "And, um, you need to close your eyes.  Like this."  He 
shut his eyes, then leaned forward, intending to lean just far enough 
that she could see what he was doing.  Instead, he found his lips brush 
against hers, and there was a sudden electrical feeling across his 
entire body, freezing him in place for a moment as he distantly heard 
the sound of a door opening.  "Um.  Maybe we should -"

Quite to both Nieve and Neil's surprise, Nieve's hands found their way 
to the back of his head and pulled it close, pressing her lips against 
his as her mouth fell open almost involuntarily.  Neil felt another 
surge of passion flow through him immediately, but this time wasn't 
immobilized by the sensation, instead letting his own mouth open, 
gently pushing his tongue into the girl's mouth.  She let out a small 
gasp of surprise as she felt the wetness of his tongue touching hers, 
then seemed to lose herself in the moment as well, moving her tongue 
along with his, letting the two tongues stroke one another.

Feeling the emotion of the moment, Neil let go of Nieve's shoulders, 
then wrapped his arms around the girl as their tongues rubbed together, 
her hands still tight against the back of his head, fingers splayed 
through his hair.  He'd never experienced anything like what was 
happening, a fact that was distantly making itself known as the two 
Children held one another close, their mouths locked still in a 
passionate embrace of their own, tongues pressing and rubbing in a sort 
of slow waltz.  Every other kiss he'd ever felt had been different, as 
though the other person were holding something back.  But Neil could 
feel that there was something passionate inside of Nieve, that she was 
pouring her heart and soul into him, and for a brief moment he thought 
that he could lose control, that he could surrender himself entirely to 
the gentle rythym between them.

Then, as though someone had given a signal, Neil and Nieve both 
withdrew their tongues in unison, mouths breaking apart with a slow 
certainty.  Both Children paused for a moment, eyes still shut, then 
looked at one another as their eyes slowly drifted open, Nieve letting 
a smile play across her lips as Neil simply stared in amazement.  He 
could still taste her skin within his mouth, still felt the lingering 
touches of her tongue.  "That was -definitely- all that it's cracked up 
to be," she muttered, her voice sounding different, excited, an odd 
sort of tone as she stared into Neil's eyes.  "Neil... I think... I 
think that I might..."

A cough came from the doorway behind them, and both Nieve and Neil 
suddenly released the other, freezing in place as soon as their hands 
were off the other, then slowly turning to look, Neil turning his neck 
while Nieve simply craned to stare around him.  In the doorway stood 
Ryo, still wearing his school uniform, blue hair framing the blank 
expression of his face.  "Ryo," breathed Neil, unsure of what to say, 
getting the distinct impression that there was something else lying in 
Ryo's expression, something he couldn't quite put a finger on.  "How 
long have you been here?"

"Since you started kissing her," replied Ryo flatly, the vaguest hint 
of some kind of resentment in his voice.  He paused for a moment, then 
opened his schoolbag, rustling in it for a moment before fishing out 
the sketch that Eiko had given him more than a week ago, slightly 
wrinkled but for the most part no worse for the intervening time 
period.  "Eiko wanted me to give you this.  I apologize if I 
interrupted anything."

"No," replied Neil, stepping forward to take the piece of paper from 
Ryo.  He stared at the sketch in his hand and suddenly felt even more 
awkward, recognizing it immediately as the sketch that Eiko had made of 
the Tokyo-3 skyline as the sun set, the day after he returned from the 
hospital.  Flipping it over, he could see a few scribbled words in 
English, and he wondered idly if she'd only given the sketch to Ryo 
recently, completely confused.  "Um... listen, do you want to sit down 
for a while?  To talk?"

"I have to get home," replied Ryo flatly, turning around and opening 
the door once again, then stepping out into the hallway of the 
apartment building, staring out the bay window across the hall from 
Misato's apartment, watching as the sun began to slide below the 
horizon, the light glancing off the buildings of Tokyo-3.  "I will see 
you at Central Dogma tomorrow."

The door fell shut, and Neil stared at the sketch from Eiko, unsure if 
he should feel bad about kissing Nieve because of Eiko or if he should 
feel bad about taking the sketch from Eiko because of Nieve.  His mind 
settled on simply feeling bad for whatever reason, and the sensation 
only redoubled as Nieve gently touched him on the shoulder, drawing his 
attention back towards her.  "What is it?" she asked, sounding just the 
slightest bit bitter.  "Just the city skyline?"

"Yeah," muttered Neil, breaking free of Nieve's touch before turning 
and stepping back towards his room, unable to tear his eyes away from 
the pencil lines of the drawing.  "I'll just put this away, then we can 
go back to whatever you want."  He opened the door slowly, stepping 
into his room and feeling unspeakably confused, wishing that he didn't 
feel bad about kissing Nieve at the same time that he wished he didn't 
feel guilty about taking the sketch.

                                  ]++[

Misato sighed, leaning over the piles of paperwork on her office, 
feeling as though what she wanted more than anything else in the world 
was a good beer and sleep.  Even a week after Jet Alone going berserk, 
she had yet to actually get to work on any of the necessary files for 
the incident, still working on all of the official reports needed for 
the Fifth Angel.  What bugged her more than anything, however, wasn't 
the fact that she had to keep filling in the same information in form 
after form when the UN knew perfectly well that the Angels and NERV 
were going to follow certain patterns.  It was the way that the whole 
filing process seemed to dehumanize the events, to make it seem as 
though the Evas were just like particularly specialized tanks.

Sinking her head into her hands and closing her eyes, needing to get 
away from the numbing fluorescence of the overhead lights, she thought 
back to the stark terror in Eiko's voice during the Jet Alone incident, 
the scream of pain that Vash had let out against the Fifth Angel, 
Neil's horrifying first couple of battles.  "They're so brave," she 
muttered, trying to figure out what it would be like if she was 
thirteen years younger, if she was told that she could pilot the 
gigantic machines.  She wanted to say that she would have agreed, but 
she knew that she couldn't be certain.  The thought that she wouldn't 
made her feel even more guilty about her job, as though she had no 
right to send the Children into such danger if she wasn't going to 
place herself at the same risk.  She found herself feeling even more 
guilty as she thought on it, as she wondered if she'd be willing to 
take orders from someone sitting in an armored command center while she 
put her life on the line.

"Thinking too much, Misato," she muttered to herself, pushing her head 
out of her hands, then pushing her chair back and standing from her 
desk.  It occurred to her momentarily that she might not feel so 
exhausted by the simple act of being in her office if she did something 
to spruce up the bland teal of the walls, but she shook her head at the 
thought, knowing that she'd never remember to bring anything in, much 
less find the time to arrange the room.  "Time to go home, say hi to 
the Children, and then drink until you stop worrying so much."  She 
grinned at the thought, grabbed her keys off the desk, then walked out 
of the office, flicking the light switch off as she stepped out and 
began to try and find her way through the maze of the base.

Roughly ten minutes later, she finally found herself on the right level 
to catch a transport to the surface, the employee level.  It was a 
large enough level to support a far bigger and far lazier staff than 
NERV actually employed, and at times Misato wondered if it hadn't been 
built simply for the purpose of spending as much money as possible on 
the construction of the base.  The thought was an idle bit of mental 
noise as she walked towards the elevator that led to the garage, hoping 
that nobody had dinged her car.

As she walked past the main employee lounge, she heard a deep, 
distinctive male voice, and she instantly realized that it was Kaji 
speaking.  She froze for a moment, unsure about whether or not she 
should eavesdrop, then grinned and leaned towards the half-opened door 
inward, looking as best she could for where Kaji was.  After a second 
or two of looking, she saw him, sitting at one of the round white 
tables with Dr. Fuyutsuki, apparently speaking casually with him.  
Misato frowned for a moment, then continued to stare, determined to 
find out what was going on with her former lover.

"I have to admit, it wasn't something I planned on," Kaji muttered, 
letting out a small puff of smoke from his cigarette, leaning back in 
his chair and then staring up at the ceiling.  "You know why I came, I 
imagine.  I remember reading about you, hearing how you'd started to 
investigate Gehirn before most people even knew it existed."  He 
smirked, though he still didn't turn back towards Fuyutsuki.  "Imagine 
my surprise when I learned you'd sold out."

Fuyutsuki smiled, taking a sip from the steaming coffee mug sitting in 
front of him and apparently unhurt by Kaji's comment.  "I suppose you 
had to be there to understand," he replied.  "You ought to be more 
careful, though, if you're trying to follow in my footsteps.  I could 
turn you in, and then everything would be over for you."

"You won't, though," replied Kaji, tilting his head down towards 
Fuyutsuki.  The elder man simply stared back for a moment, then slowly 
shook his head, a gesture which apparently satisfied Kaji enough for 
him to lean back in his chair once again.  For a split second, Misato 
thought that he caught sight of her spying in through the doorway, but 
he didn't seem to react at all, and she breathed a small sigh of 
relief, trying to press her ear closer to the two men.  "I doubted I'd 
be so lucky as to get any help from you."

Nodding, Fuyutsuki took another sip from his mug, still seemingly 
amused by Kaji, almost as if the two were old friends.  Misato tried to 
think if they would have had an opportunity to meet beforehand, but 
hard as she tried she couldn't think of any chance the two would have 
had.  "Everything thing that I wanted to know about this project I 
found out a long time ago," he replied, a slight note of sorrow 
creeping into his voice.  "Even if I hadn't found out everything, I 
don't think that I could betray her like that."

Kaji chuckled slightly, taking the cigarette hanging from his mouth out 
and exhaling another small cloud of smoke overhead.  The sight of him 
leaning back and smoking brought Misato back several years, to happier 
times between the two of them, but she forced herself to ignore the 
memories.  "I couldn't come between a professor and his favorite 
student," muttered Kaji, tapping his cigarette ash into a small black 
ashtray adorned with a small NERV logo.  "Or has that position been 
taken by Gendou now?"

"That's Commander Ikari to you," replied Fuyutsuki, no trace of malice 
in his voice at the statement.  He paused for a moment, then began to 
speak again, this time with a touch of bitterness in his voice.  "So 
how does -she- factor into all of this?  Or can you just not go through 
with this without having something to sleep with?"

Chuckling once again, Kaji looked towards the door, and Misato was 
certain that he saw her standing outside, feeling his blue eyes stare 
directly into hers.  He said nothing, however, turning back towards 
Fuyutsuki after a moment.  "Do you really think I'm that shallow?" he 
asked, turning his cigarette vertical and rubbing it out in the ashtray 
in front of him.  "Besides, it's not like she and I don't have a past 
as it is."

Misato felt a sudden rush of warmth through her body at his words, 
suddnly thinking that she knew what he was talking about.  The thought 
that Kaji was still attracted to her digusted her on some level, and 
she knew that she'd left the man for good reason, but another part of 
her was flattered.  She'd wondered why he'd come to NERV, but even if 
it wasn't only to be with her, the thought that he'd even consider it 
was gratifying.  She smirked to herself, still listening in, wondering 
where else the conversation would go, distantly aware of the fact that 
she'd agreed to cook dinner for Nieve and Neil and that she'd be late.

"You two don't have the kind of past that would lead into that, 
though," replied the elder man, a minor scowl drifting across his face 
as he took another sip from his coffee mug, the combination of the 
light from the bay window and the white mug presumably obscuring his 
face from Kaji.  "And besides that, Ryoji, it's been years since you've 
even seen her.  Do you honestly expect me to believe you have feelings 
that strong about her?"

"It's Kaji to you," the younger man replied, grinning slightly at the 
joke before pushing his chair back and stretching, revealing fully the 
slightly dissheveled shirt he wore, his tie hanging loosely around the 
unbuttoned collar, pants wrinkled and belt absent.  Misato couldn't 
help but smile at the casual appearance of her former lover, the way 
that he still seemed to be unable of maintaining any aura of 
seriousness.  "And I don't expect you to believe anything I tell you.  
If our roles were reversed, wouldn't you feel the same?"

"Probably," replied Fuyutsuki, standing as well.  Backing away slightly 
from the door, Misato got the distinct impression that she should move 
away more, but she found herself unable to leave, captivated by the 
thought that Kaji was infatuated with her.  She could no longer see the 
men's conversation, but she kept her ear tilted towards the door enough 
to hear Fuyutsuki continue speaking.  "Do you plan on telling Misato 
about this?"

Kaji laughed.  "That I'm seeing another woman?  She'd never recover 
from it.  I think she's still taken by me."  The words hit harshly, but 
Misato listened for a moment longer, trying to convince herself that 
perhaps she'd heard incorrectly.  "Really, though, I wish that she'd 
move on with her life.  It's a little embarassing to have her still 
doting on me."

Dr. Fuyutsuki said something more, but Misato didn't hear it, still 
lost inside the sound of Kaji's last few words, her eyes wide with 
shock as she managed to kick her body back into motion and stepped away 
from the door.  "I don't dote on him," she muttered, her expression 
slowly changing from shock to anger, ignoring the sorrow that had hit 
her almost subconsciously.  Closing her eyes for a moment, she stepped 
away from the lounge, walking towards her car with resolute intensity 
once again.

                                  ]++[

Niobe lay on her back, still wearing the loose black jeans and yellow 
tank top that she'd been wearing all day, staring up at the ceiling of 
her bland gray room and waiting for Ryo to return.  Despite her efforts 
to think about something else, which had been rather half-hearted to 
begin with, she'd been unable to tear her mind away from thoughts of 
the cryptically silent boy, the weight of his loneliness settling upon 
her with an odd sort of finality.  Though she wanted to believe 
otherwise, he probably thought that she was avoiding him, and when 
somebody was as lonely as he seemed to be, she doubted that he had an 
easy time accepting someone else wanting to be near him.  "Poor Ryo," 
she muttered, turning her head to one side, staring at her small table 
and the porcelain figures on it.  "He doesn't have anyone."

The thought warmed her heart slightly, cutting through the slight chill 
she always seemed to feel when thinking about Ryo.  She wanted to be 
there for him, for reasons that even she couldn't quite explain, almost 
as though he was calling out to her.  The thought made her giggle 
slightly, but she felt bad for having been so distant from him, for 
letting him stay alone.  Reaching to her right, she felt the smooth 
surface of the package she'd assembled for him, something that she was 
certain he'd appreciate.  A mental picture of his smile entered her 
mind, and the thought brought a broad smile to her own face, so 
intoxicatingly pleasing that she almost didn't notice as the front door 
to the apartment opened.

Ryo, for his part, simply removed his shoes as he had learned to, 
leaving them snugly arranged against the wall of the small lowered area 
within the apartment, then stepped forward and glanced to his left as 
he heard noises from Niobe's room.  He was only distantly concerned 
with her, more occupied with what he had seen going on between Neil and 
Nieve.  A part of him felt an odd tightness, yet another feeling that 
he wasn't accustomed to, knowing that Nieve had given at least part of 
her body to Neil.  That, by Eiko's definition, meant that Neil had 
control.

Closing his eyes, Ryo thought back to the day that he and Neil had 
fought the Fourth Angel, to Neil's defiance of orders as he jumped upon 
the Angel's back.  At the time, Ryo had thought that Neil was simply 
sacrificing himself, but as he looked on the situation he realized Neil 
was in little danger at the time, that Ryo had already sacrificed 
himself to defend the other Child.  It was an odd thought, something 
that Ryo was distantly aware of as he recalled Eiko's sacrifice for 
Neil, of Nieve's lips touching to Neil's.  Almost unconsciously, he 
found himself clenching one of his fists gently, thinking distractedly 
that Nieve should give herself to him as Niobe's door opened.

"Hey, Ryo," the girl said, smiling broadly, one hand cradling the small 
package next to her back, the other leaning against the doorframe.  Ryo 
simply stared blankly at her, his red eyes betraying absolutely no 
emotion that she could discern.  "I was getting a little worried about 
you.  You usually come straight home after school and testing."

"I had something else that I needed to do," he replied flatly, still 
trying to figure out what was going on inside him, what had driven him 
to break his routine in the first place.  He paused for a moment, 
staring at Niobe, then turned away and faced towards the door to his 
room, unsure of what precisely was going on.  "I'll change out of my 
school clothes, and then I'll cook dinner."

"Wait!" snapped Niobe, stepping out into the hallway just as Ryo began 
to walk down it towards his room, the package still pressed up against 
her back.  Ryo paused briefly, then slowly turned around to face Niobe, 
his expression still blank.  Niobe felt a sudden unease, as though she 
were intruding into something unspeakably private, but she pushed the 
thought out of her mind, taking a step towards Ryo.  "Do... do you want 
to talk about what you did?  I've been alone all day, and I could use 
somebody to talk to."

Ryo blinked, staring at Niobe without any idea of what she was trying 
to do.  Another new sensation began to wash over him, coming with the 
knowledge that he'd already broken routine severely earlier, that he 
needed to maintain this portion of the day or Dr. Ikari would think 
something was wrong.  "Very well," he said after a moment, his voice 
not betraying any emotion.  "Tell me whatever you would like."

Niobe shook her head, feeling a mild frustration well in the back of 
her mind, an emotion that she knew she shouldn't have been feeling.  
She wanted to help Ryo open up to her, but it seemed as though the 
effort itself was in vain.  "That's not what I mean," she said, taking 
another step towards him.  "Tell me what you're feeling, what's going 
on in your mind."  She paused, receiving nothing but an empty stare 
from Ryo.  "Like... I don't know, tell me what you did after you left 
Central Dogma."

The requests for conversation finallly made sense to Ryo, and he 
nodded.  "I walked for approximately ten minutes towards this 
apartment, then turned and walked ten minutes towards the residence of 
Captain Katsuragi.  At the apartment, I delivered a pencil sketch that 
the Fourth Child had asked me to give to the Third Child.  When I had -"

"Forget it," Niobe interjected, feeling very much as though she were 
hitting her head against a brick wall.  A sensation was growing in her 
that this was just another test, the sort of trial that Joseph had 
warned her about before she had left home.  He'd told her then that it 
was up to her to make sure that she could get past such things, that if 
she couldn't handle such simply problems she couldn't possibly be the 
best.  Choosing a change of tactics, she brought the package out from 
behind herself, smiling once again as Ryo's eyes immediately focused on 
it.  "My first paycheck from NERV came through today.  I bought this 
for you."

Staring for a moment, Ryo gingerly extended one hand, taking the gift-
wrapped package in it and turning it over to examine it.  Slinging his 
school bag over his shoulder, he recalled the routine that Dr. Ikari 
had taught him, the places where the tape would join the paper with 
itself and where he should slide his finger firmly through, the 
relatively precise art of unwrapping such objects.  Niobe smiled all 
the while as Ryo's hands moved with practiced and controlled grace 
across the smooth surface, breaking through the tape and removing the 
paper, then opening the small cardboard box within, staring at the 
object for a second before removing it.

"It's a penguin," announced Niobe as the boy stared at the small 
stuffed animal, handling the soft plush of the animal gingerly as if he 
was going to break it.  Both Children simply stood for a moment, and 
Niobe took a deep breath, trying not to feel the tension that she'd 
experienced before, reminding herself that all the boy needed was a 
little more prodding.  "I thought that you'd like it.  You said you 
didn't have any keepsakes, so I assumed -"

"You wanted me to have some," noted Ryo, the slightest hint of emotion 
creeping at the edges of his words.  Niobe nodded as he turned over the 
small stuffed bird, trying to figure out why she would have done such a 
thing.  He still didn't quite understand Niobe's concept of keepsakes, 
and his thoughts were too full of Neil to truly guess at her ultimate 
purpose, still preoccupied with the question of how he was so 
different.  "What should I remember with this?"

The blank maleability of the statement struck Niobe harshly as she 
thought of speaking with her father, recalling the weeks immediately 
following the declaration of her as the Sixth Child.  Staring into 
Ryo's eyes, seeing the dearth of emotion within them, Niobe suddenly 
felt another pang of sympathy for the boy, devoid of friends or family, 
only the commands of Dr. Ikari.  It took a great deal of restraint not 
to shed a tear, and Niobe had to pause before she spoke, making sure 
that her voice didn't break.  "You can remember anything you want," she 
replied.  "It's entirely up to you."

Ryo's expression still betrayed no emotion, and in the back of his mind 
he remembered that he was breaking routine once again, that he would 
have to inform Dr. Ikari of such.  "Thank you," he said somewhat 
curtly, nodding to her and turning towards his room once again, Niobe 
simply staring towards the point where his eyes had been moments 
earlier.  "I'll change now.  Is there anything specific that you want 
for dinner tonight?"

"No," replied Niobe somewhat weakly as the boy opened the door to his 
barren room, stepping in and shutting the door behind him, leaving 
Niobe to stare blankly at the door for a moment.  She felt a single 
warm streak of water trickle down her face, and she sniffled gently as 
she wiped the tear away, suddenly filled with self-doubt.  All she had 
wanted to do was to make him feel better, to not be so alone, and it 
didn't seem to have done anything.  "I couldn't do anything.  I failed."

An urge began to rise within Niobe, one that she'd told herself had 
been squished some time ago, and she felt the desire to simply go back 
to her room and simply cry.  Gritting her teeth, she clenched one fist 
tightly, reminding herself that crying was for the weak, for the people 
who knew that they couldn't be good enough.  "I'll help you, Ryo," she 
said, quietly but firmly, still fixing her eyes on his door and feeling 
pangs of sympathy in her chest.  Something had snapped within her by 
looking at him, and as she finally turned away from his door, stepping 
into her room to dry her face, she told herself that she refused to 
accept failure, that she would make the boy open up.  "With God as my 
witness, I'll make you smile."

                                  ]++[

Outro: Neon Epoch Evangelion is based off of -Shin Seiki Evangelion- by 
GAINAX and company.  It is not intended to be a straightforward fanfic, 
but it is building off the work of others, and as such it is done with 
the utmost respect for the original works and their authors.  
Basically, even though this is an original work, it's based off the 
work of others, and if you read this, you should go to see the original.

Special thanks to all of the real Children - you know who you are.

Extra special thanks to Joe Augulis for his consultation on the 
Japanese portions of the story.  He might not know much Japanese, but 
that's more than I know.

Copyright 2002 Eliot Lefebvre.

NEXT EPISODE:
             The Child of an unknown land.
             The Child of an ancient land.
             Two Children closer than they think.
NEON EPOCH EVANGELION 8: PARALLEL SPIRITS
"I don't want to hurt people."

                                  ]++[

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