From: eltf@hotmail.com (Eliot Lefebvre)
Subject: [Eva][FanFic] Neon Epoch Evangelion: Episode 17
X-Original-Date: 8 Dec 2002 21:28:22 -0800

Launch the Special Space Battle Pre-Story Warning:

This fanfic is an original take on GAINAX's "Shin Seiki Evangelion."
It contains alternative characters, plots, and a different overriding
internal logic.  It is intended, from the beginning, to be different.
This includes different Children and different histories.  In short: if
the mere thought of someone other than Shinji in the cockpit of EVA-01
makes you queasy, you are in -entirely- the wrong place.  Any and all
flames stemming from this alteration will be mocked mercilessly.  You
have been warned.

Well, to compensate for last week's complete -lack- of verbosity, I 
should probably start spouting off at the mouth right now, but I'm 
drawing on absolute empty for the past couple days, though it's 
unfortunately not a result of as much writing as I would like.

However, there is something important to celebrate: the opening of the 
Electronic Transcendence Productions forums, located unsurprisingly on 
http://www.lostfactor.net (through a readily-accessible link, no 
less).  If you'd like to stop by and offer your opinions on the series, 
they're more than welcome, and it gives you a bit more of a reason to 
stop by the site for NEE-related manners.  Hope to see you there.

                                  ]++[

               ]+ ELECTRONIC TRANSCENDENCE PRODUCTIONS +[
                                presents

                         ]+ NEON       EPOCH +[
                   ]+ E  V  A  N  G  E  L  I  O  N +[

                      ]+ EPISODE 17:  NIGHTMARE +[

                     By Eliot "Lostfactor" Lefebvre

             Based off of "Shin Seiki Evangelion" by GAINAX

                                  ]++[

That night - may thick darkness seize it;
     may it not be included among the days of the year
     nor be entered in any of the months.
- JOB 3:6

                                  ]++[

As her hand closed around emptiness and her eyes slowly began to
flutter open in the half-light of the rising sun, Nieve Soryu-Leary
wondered for a moment if the situation upset her because of her lack of
control over it or because of more important reasons.  Her emerald eyes
lacked focus, but they could see well enough to know that there was
nothing besides a vacant space lying next to her in her bed, that only
the faintest depression remaining in the blankets made it clear that
there had even been anyone else there in the first place.  "He left,"
she muttered, letting her eyes fluttered closed again, as though she
could reset the world around her by falling back asleep until it was
something that more suited her liking.  "He left again."

Nieve took a deep breath, trying to catch the last traces of Neil's
scent inside her nose, letting herself remember the warmth of his skin
as he'd climbed into bed, the unspeakable sadness that had been lying
behind his eyes for the days after the Twelfth Angel's attack.  It was
almost a cruel joke, as though God was laughing personally at her - the
day after she had finally given herself to the boy, everything had
changed in a heartbeat, and less that a full week later she found
herself sleeping beside him as the only proof that he hadn't completely
left her.  Sighing, she pushed herself up to a sitting position, eyes
still closed, burning hair falling about her shoulders and letting the
light from the window filter through behind it.

She hadn't remembered what happened after she and Eiko had jumped into
the Angel, only knowing that she felt something warm in her mind, as
though her mother had somehow found a way to touch her from beyond the
void.  In reality, she was certain that it had simply been a
temperature increase in the LCL, though Ritsuko claimed that she'd
found no evidence to support that fact.  But by the time she had
regained her consciousness, Neil was completely passed out and was
being brought down to the infirmary for testing, something that Nieve
and Eiko also got dragged down for a brief version of.  She had wanted
to be by his side, but she could still remember the doctors roughly
shutting the door to the bright white room on her, the dark and
brooding form of Gendou Ikari distantly visible inside, as though he
felt some measure of guilt for what had happened to Neil.

Rubbing her eyes as she stood, Nieve let her oversized nightshirt brush
against her hips, her mouth curling into the shape of a bitter smile as
she tried to console herself with the thought that she was hardly built
to give birth in the first place.  Her pale feet moved across the
darkened floor of her room, scuffing over the clothes discarded by both
her and Neil as they had gone to bed the previous night, the normal
order of the room obscured by recent circumstance.  "He could have left
a note," she muttered, rubbing the back of her head as she briefly
debated between going out to have breakfast and getting dressed first.
After a moment, she turned and headed out her door towards the kitchen,
trying not to feel weak from the absence of her lover.

Whatever the Angel had done to him showed on his face now, deep within
his eyes every time she looked at him, a sort of silent sorrow that
seemed to seep through to his bones.  Even if he had hid his face,
however, it was obvious just from his silence, his sudden and
unexpected way of seeming to simply move through each day like a
zombie, going through the motions without feeling anything.  It was
painful to watch on any level, but the sudden departure from himself
only made the effect made more pronounced, made Nieve worry that he was
leaving her despite everything.

Shaking her head as she stepped into the kitchen, she forced herself to
think of something else, to try and keep her own mind focused on the
task from day to day, to wait for the boy to open up to her.  She'd
managed to get him once, and she knew that she could do it again, knew
that it was ultimately still about control.  As long as she kept
telling herself that, she felt safe around the facts, comfortable with
the odd and painful silence that had settled even between the two of
them, the rare smile that graced his face despite being laced with
overt bitterness each time that his lips curled.  There was something
lying beneath it, something larger and more frightening, and even
though Nieve knew it was there she wanted to avoid it, to shove it into
a darkened corner of her mind and leave it alone.

Crashing came from Misato's room, and Nieve grinned, almost turning her
head to one side, wanting Neil to be there to listen to her, to smile
at her, to act the way that he normally did.  She wanted him to be back
to normal, for that horrific encounter within the Angel to be erasable
somehow, and even the one time since the incident that she'd let him
reach between her legs for solace he'd still felt off, as though the
magic of that one moment was gone forever.

The thought brought her a pause even as a louder crash came from
Misato's room, and she felt her hands freeze upon the smooth white
porcelain of the bowl within the cupboard, as though for the first time
she actually realized the actions she was taking.  "It's not gone," she
whispered to herself, feeling again the oddly bitter sense of being
broken, knowing that parts of her body simply couldn't work, wondering
if perhaps that had something to do with it.  She had no frame of
reference when it came to making love to someone, but she had assumed
that it would somehow help him, that he couldn't fake the emotions that
went into it.  "Maybe it's always like that, after the first time.
Maybe people just keep doing it to recapture the magic."

Another crash came from down the hall towards Misato's room, then a
loud shout of something that the girl assumed was a Japanese curse
word, then the sound of shattering glass followed by the opening of a
door.  Misato emerged from the hallway a moment later, Nieve's hand
still resting on the bowl in the cupboard as the woman stepped into the
room, white blouse over a brown skirt, trying to look strong despite
herself.  "Morning," she announced, forcing a smile as she stepped over
to the kitchen.  "Neil still in bed?"

"He left again," replied Nieve curtly, freezing Misato in place as well
as the elder woman stepped towards the cereal, as though somehow the
mere mention of Neil was some sort of tranquilizer.  "Misato..."  She
paused, unsure of how to force out the sentence.  "Misato, when is he
going to get better?  Hell, what in God's name happened to him?"

Misato paused for a moment longer, then finished her motion,
withdrawing the box of cereal from the lower cupboard with a single
smooth motion.  "I don't know.  For either question."  She turned
towards Nieve, a pained expression on her face as she brought the
cereal over, the girl taking down the bowls in the cupboard
automatically, eyes fixed firmly on Misato.  "Ritsuko's been trying to
figure out what happened, but nothing gives us the slightest idea.  And
Neil... well, you know.  He's barely said five words to anybody since
he got out of the Twelfth."

Something sprang into Nieve's mind with Misato's comment, something
that she wanted to simply ignore and push out of her brain but which
refused to leave her alone.  "Has he... talked to you about what
happened to him at all?" she asked, fixing her emerald eyes on Misato,
the elder woman moving with sluggish motions as she fixed her
breakfast.  Neil had said nothing to her about the events of that day,
and somehow Misato's words gave her the feeling that Neil had been
holding back information from her, that he had left out something
important.

It was a moment before the elder woman turned to answer Nieve's
question, finishing with the cereal before setting it down upon the
bone-white countertop and turning towards the girl with a swish of
purple hair.  As the woman's mouth opened, Nieve realized as though for
the first time just how badly she needed to know that Neil was being
silent with everyone, how much it would hurt to know that Neil had been
talking to Misato more.  The very thought made a vague disquiet grow in
the back of her mind and the bottom of her stomach, as though warning
her not to eat breakfast for fear of vomiting.  "No," replied Misato
finally, gesturing for Nieve to move over to the cereal as she stepped
towards the fridge.  "I would think he'd say something to you first."

"Yeah," replied Nieve weakly, stepping over and pouring her own cereal,
feeling the stress inside her body begin to snap, like some long-
forgotten support in a building trying to bear something beyond its
capacity.  She didn't like to think about Neil in such terms, but as
much as she'd begged him not to leave, and as much as she wanted him
not to, it was weighing heavily upon her that he seemed to be staying
in name only, something that she simply didn't know how to reconcile
emotionally.  "But he's been quiet to me, too.  Even when we..."  She
paused, then shook her head.  "Never mind."

"Sex can't save a relationship," Misato offered, drawing a surprised
look from the girl as Misato pulled out a chair from the table and sat
down.  "Don't think that I don't notice things, Nieve.  I've been
distracted lately, I'll admit, but I still remember what it was like
when I first lost my virginity to a boy."  She paused, then cocked her
head back towards Nieve with a half-forced grin.  "You practically
radiate it."

Even with the memory of that wonderful night ringing in her mind and
her thighs, Nieve somehow didn't want to be reminded of it, least of
all by Misato, and she felt her teeth clench unconsciously before she
turned towards the elder woman with a mischevious grin.  "And who
might -that- have been with, Major Katsuragi?  Certainly not Ryoji
Kaji!"

Misato's expression darkened, and while on one level Nieve felt
relieved for having deflected the line of discussion, she also felt a
minor pang of guilt at the look on the woman's face, as though Nieve
had pried something still very painful open gracelessly.  "That's none
of your business," she said flatly, turning back towards her breakfast
as Nieve put the cereal back in the cupboard.  Nieve was trying hard
not to feel bad, trying to convince herself that she was doing the
right thing, but somehow she still felt disturbed by the situation with
Neil, still aware in the back of her mind that she needed to have him
open up to her.

The silence remained between the two for a moment, then Nieve felt her
head sink forward slightly, guilt beginning to overwhelm her, something
that she assumed was a side-effect of spending too much time with
Neil.  "Sorry," she muttered, just barely loud and clear enough for
Misato to understand, removing the milk and pouring it into her bowl
halfheartedly, obviously distracted.  "You're right.  It's none of my
business.  I... I just need to find something else to think about, you
know?  Something to occupy my time."  She paused.  "I just needed to
tease somebody again."

Although Misato said nothing in response, Nieve found herself oddly
beyond caring, realizing that she needed to put her thoughts to words,
leaning her weight forward on the counter and setting the milk down,
letting her eyes close even as she felt the crimson strands of her hair
brush down to hang about her neck.  "I'm worried.  I'm worried about
what's happening to Neil, about what the Angels are going to do next,
about not having any say in all of this.  I'm worried that part of Neil
is still trapped inside of that Angel, and I'm worried because I can't
make him open up to me to let me know what is.  And I'm worried because
until I do, he might as well still be -in- there!"  She slammed her
fist down on the counter, letting anger funnel off some of her
emotions, a sort of temporary catharsis that somehow made everything
feel clearer.

"I know," replied Misato a second later, her voice sounding even more
tired than before.  It wasn't the sound of physical exhaustion, the
sort of yawn that would rest just beyond the woman's vocal chords every
time she came back from a late night of work at Central Dogma, but a
spiritual drain, the sound of a woman left without faith.  It was
disturbing to the girl, even managing to momentarily surplant her
apprehension about saying too much.  "We just have to trust Neil, trust
that he's doing the right thing for himself and for others."

"You don't sound as though you have much faith in him," noted Nieve,
retrieving her cereal and stepping over to the table, her steps still
slow and slightly uneven, still feeling the same apprehension about
Neil even though she'd hope that saying something would make it a
little more bearable.

Misato stared at the girl for a moment, then offered a somewhat
halfhearted shrug before taking another bite of cereal, chewing and
swallowing in a smooth mechanical motion.  "I don't know," replied
Misato, the same exhaustion in her voice, a sort of adult fallibility
that only made Nieve feel more apprehensive.  Staring across the table
for a moment longer, Nieve set to her breakfast despite the vage
disquiet in her stomach, still wishing that she would open her eyes and
wake up from the nightmare, wanting very much to have a mother's arms
to curl up in.

                                  ]++[

Niobe was forcing a smile to remain on her lips even as she watched Ryo
walk a few steps in front of her, still showing no sign that he was
even the vaguest bit interested in showing some affection for her.
After all the time that she had invested in making herself the best,
she was more than aware that she had failed to do anything meaninful
against the Twelfth Angel, andshe knew that Ryo was only ignoring her
because of that, that he truly wanted to show that he cared but he
simply couldn't risk the girl getting sloppy.  It made sense to her,
and even if it didn't truly make sense she was convinced that it did.
"This is good," she announced to him, cutting through the silence of
Tokyo-3's early morning air, trying to start up conversation as she did
so often.  "We're both going in for testing early.  That means more
practice.  More certainty we'll do our job right."

Ryo did not respond, simply walking with accustomed swiftness, wearing
his school uniform despite the fact that he had been removed from
school for the time being, his light blue hair swinging gently in the
filtering sun of Tokyo-3, seting starkly against his pale skin and the
pure white buildings.  It was at least an hour before the morning rush
would truly start for the city, before the various workers would
scramble off to make it to their jobs by eight.  Then he slowed his
pace gently, letting Niobe catch up slightly, a minor gesture that made
her heart soar.  "I'm not going in for practice or testing.  Dr. Ikari
requested me for... other matters."

"Oh."  Gritting her teeth, Niobe forced herself to ignore the minor
spasm of sorrow at Ryo's announcement, simply clenching a fist
momentarily and letting the anger dissipate.  She could distantly feel
the eyes of some of Tokyo-3's more inquisitive inhabitants staring at
her through the windows, as though they'd never seen a black girl
before, though to her it felt as though they were all disapproving of
her recent failures.  "Well, I'll be there for as long as I can be.
When are you going to be going down for synch testing?"

"Two o'clock," replied Ryo flatly, lost in his own thoughts, steering
consciously towards the entrance to NERV that lay nearest to his
apartment, finding his steps falling unevenly despite his best
efforts.  He had never known what it meant to have your mind somewhere
else, but the expression was becoming all too clear to him, something
having penetrated his brain despite himself.  "I scheduled it to
coincide with Nieve's testing time.  I am restricted from much personal
contact with the girl."

Niobe felt her body tense again, inwardly scolding herself at not
having maintained more discipline, knowing that she was slipping after
recent events, remembering with a harsh sting her most recent
conversation with Joseph.  He had been critical, but she knew that she
deserved it, knew that she had not been nearly living up to the
standards that she should have.  "So when you're not at the apartment,
you want to spend time with Nieve," she said, a thought ocurring to her
somewhat sinisterly.  "Is that true?"

Ryo frowned ever so slightly, unsure of exactly what the question was
asking, unclear on the precise meaning of "want."  "I... I prefer to
see her," he replied, the words feeling awkward as they came out of his
lips, tapping something within himself that he had never known before.
Something felt as though it was tightening inside his chest, a
sensation that he would by routine report to Dr. Akagi as soon as his
testing began.  "You could say that I want to see her."

Hearing the words in the boy's awkward sort of monotone made Niobe
smile broadly, a gesture that Ryo couldn't see but that gave her great
satisfaction.  Her father had taught her time and again that she should
try her best to approach a problem from a new angle when it became a
struggle, and she was certain that she was about to catch Ryo in his
own disapproving trap, that even though he had done everying possible
to make it seem as though he was unhappy with her performance she had
found a way to cut through the illusion.  "Why?" she asked, her tone
defiant and triumphant, sure of herself, a tone that she was only dimly
aware she had been using less and less with time.  "Why do you want to
see her?"

There was another unknown emotion bubbling within Ryo now, and he
brough himself to a stop, giving himself just a moment to try and think
about the question, to figure out the answer.  It had nothing to do
with emotion, and he knew that, knew that it was simple logical
reasoning.  That was what Dr. Ikari said he had that the others lacked,
a knowledge of how important simple logic truly was, how much weight
should be placed on it.  "She is in control of herself," he replied as
Niobe stepped in front of him, his red eyes focused on the tallest
point he could find nearby.  "She does not lack in her confidence or
control, in her ability to keep herself calm and collected."  He
paused, letting his eyes flutter closed momentarily.  "She is
completely focused on defeating the Angels.  She -"

It was no mystery to Ryo what pain felt like, but the distinct sense of
a slap was something that he had never experienced before, the way that
the skin stung for a moment after the hand had removed itself, the sort
of loud and sharp noise that seemed to only augment the pain.  Needless
to say, however, he immediately let his eyes fly open, the red irises
flicking towards Niobe to see her withdrawing her hand, the source of
the new pain obvious.  Avoiding the temptation to frown, he simply
stared at the girl, the deep furrowed frown molded into her chocolate-
colored face.  "What is wrong?" he asked calmly, knowing that the pain
should be ignored as a matter of process.

"You..."  Niobe shook her head, unsure of exactly what to feel, only
knowing that all of her frustration was bubbling further to the surface
with each passing moment spent next to the girl.  "Some of us are just
as focused!  Nieve isn't the only one who pilots her machine well!
I've got a better synchronization, more practice, more skill, more..."

Staring at Ryo, Niobe could tell simply by looking that she'd failed
the unpoken test, that she should have remained calm and instead had
devolved into hysterics.  It was another failure, something that she
knew was a massive mistake, yet another mistake that a better pilot
would have rectified long beforehand.  The boy had seen her failure,
she knew it, and she'd done nothing but proven to him that she couldn't
be relied upon.  Able to stare into the boy's deep red eyes for only a
moment, she turned and began walking moer swiftly away from him,
feeling the burning heat from them as she strode swiftly towards the
entrance into Central Dogma.

"I screwed up," she muttered to herself, her legs moving swiftly,
feeling the eyes of everyone in Tokyo-3 examining her failure, the
sudden intensity of it biting into her as though it was a physical
thing.  "I shouldn't have done that.  I should be better than that.
I've -got- to be better than that."  Taking slow breaths, she tried to
force herself to calm down, tried to keep her mind focused on training,
knowing that she would have to work even harder to prove that she
deserved Ryo's trust now.  "I will do better.  I will make him notice
me."

Ryo, for his part, simply watched as the girl strode off swiftly, her
chocolate skin contrasting with the white architecture and green
vegetation about her, even with the yellow blouse and light blue skirt
that she wore, only visible in brief bursts as her long black hair
swung over them.  He knew that something had gone wrong, but he had no
idea what it could be, what part of his words had been wrong, how
following routine had been the wrong thing to do.  There was something
increasingly weighing on the back of his mind, even though the simple
idea of having something weighing on his mind was a new concept,
something that at once frightened and excited him.

The routine was failing.  More than failing, it was falling apart, and
despite his dependence on it for the structure in his life, Ryo was
still distantly aware of what was happening.  Shaking his head, a
gesture that he could not remember ever having picked up, he continued
towards Central Dogma, unable to even begin to grasp the larger
implications of what had happened to his thoughts.

                                  ]++[

He knew that he should have still been at his apartment, at least
speaking to Nieve if nothing else.  He knew that he should have been
doing his schoolwork, that it was expected of him if he wanted to
continue to be allowed to study under the long-distance learning plan.
He knew that he needed to go in for synchronization testing, that he
needed to get in touch with his mother, that he needed to have
breakfast if nothing else.  None of that mattered to Neil Richelieu,
however, only the steady slosh of the nutrient bath that filled the
hangar of his Eva unit, the purple goliath that he at once hated and
respected, the single thing that he could identify that had ruined his
life even as he remained convinced that any ruining of his life was his
own damn fault.

Noise was echoing into the purple machine's chamber, the sounds of
routine maintenance going on beneath him, of another Eva - presumably
EVA-05 - slowly being recovered from training out inside of the Geo-
Front, of his own slow breathing as he stared up at the demonic
visage.  The teal-gray room felt like a prison from his many hours
spent within, a confinement that he felt more than deserving of as he
looked into the blank white slits of the Eva's eyes, the curved purple
armor, the jagged jawline looking like some baron of the deepest layers
of Hell.  Even knowing that it was a tool for defense, Neil had never
been able to shake the thought that the Eva looked as though it was
some horrific demon simply shackled into service by humans.

"I guess it is," he muttered to himself, the sound of another voice
serving as his only sparse distraction from his thoughts, recalling the
way that Nieve had explained to him what Misato had said, that the Evas
were clones of the Angels.  At any other time, he probably would have
been shocked, disgusted, somehow stirred to raction.  As it was, at the
time and subsequently he'd only been able to manage a sort of dull
interest, some vague amusement at the irony of the situation and how it
seemed oddly fitting in the end.  "Pressing monsters into the service
of humans.  Nothing they haven't already done with the pilots."

The words brought another surge of guilt into him, a newfound wave of
self-loathing stacking upon the unabated onslaught within his mind that
he'd been struggling to cope with since the time spent within the
Angel.  He wanted to try and blot out the things that the voices within
the Eva had made him say, but the fact remained, and despite his
desires he knew that he couldn't simply make the truth of the matter go
away just by wishing alone.  Even though Ritsuko had said that he was
fine, he knew the truth of the matter, could no longer hide himself
from his own monstrous nature with simple ignorance.  The damage had
already been done.

He missed Nieve, missed being able to hold her, missed the wonderful
night that they had shared together even with the first hints of his
own vileness that had followed.  But it was a chore for him now to even
look the girl in the eye, to stand near her, knowing that he was the
sort of person who could think such horrible things, certain that he
piloted the Eva for horrible reasons.  Horror was the only emotion that
he could allow himself to feel, horror at his own thoughts and
feelings, a full-scale introspection, a self-evaluation that he felt he
turned up severely lacking at the end of.  "I don't deserve to be
around people," he muttered to himself, shaking his head gently and
feeling something familiar well behind his eyes.

At one end of the catwalk came the sound of a door hissing open, and
Neil instinctively clambered to his feet, looking towards the door,
wondering who was coming out.  His spirits both dropped and raised at
the realization that it was Niobe, disappointed that it wasn't Nieve or
Eiko but at the same time thankful that he wouldn't have a chance to
make it clear how monstrous he truly was.  The girl was in her
plugsuit, LCL still dripping from her long black hair as she walked
down towards Neil.  Something was slightly off about her, as though
she'd lost a bit of weight, but it was a minor detail, one that all but
escaped Neil's notice in a haze of self-loathing.  "Hey," he said,
offering a halfhearted wave towards the girl, eyes fixed up on the
scowling visage of the Eva.

"Words from the great Third Child.  I'm honored."  Her tone was bitter,
and while Neil could tell simply from her expression and the underlying
implications that she wasn't truly upset with him he still felt a pang
of guilt for it, as though he had somehow become the nexus for
everything wrong with the lives of others around him.  It would have
hardly surprised him to learn that he had, nor would it have invoked
any particular bitterness in him.  "What are you doing here so early?
Your testing doesn't start until two.  Like Nieve."

"I... I just couldn't stay there," he replied, letting his eyes flick
down ever so slightly towards Niobe as she shrugged and continued
onward, apparently heedless of the boy standing in her path.  Frowning,
he felt himself bite his lower lip, wanting to say more even as the
back of his mind reminded him that he hardly deserved to be around
others.  But he needed some human contact, something to avoid madness,
something to dull the edge of what he'd learned about himself.
"Niobe?  Do you have a minute or two?"

Niobe froze momentarily, internally still feeling ashamed for what had
passed between her and Ryo, wanting a chance to redeem herself in his
eyes.  On the one hand, talking to Neil would take time that she could
spend working on herself, but she also knew that Ryo would not be
coming out of testing until an hour or so before his synch testing if
that early, making it largely irrelevant.  "Fine," she replied after a
moment, turning around and looking at Neil once again.  "What did you
want to talk about?"

He paused for a moment, as though he hadn't really expected her to say
yes, then flicked his eyes back towards the purple form of his Eva, now
feeling guilty about talking to Niobe before anybody else.  "I haven't
talked to anybody about what went on inside of the Angel, you know," he
said softly, the quiet and regular splashing noise of the nutrient bath
almost drowning him out as he stared upwards.  "I'm still not sure if
I'm ready to, but..."  He paused, then shook his head, now certain that
he wasn't ready to talk about it.  "I started questioning why I pilot
the Eva.  Why I keep getting inside of it."

Unexpectedly, Niobe found her pulse quickening as she realized the
consequences of Neil's doubt, what it would mean if he decided not to
pilot the Eva any longer.  One less pilot would give Niobe less
competition, and Neil as that pilot would mean that Ryo would no longer
be able to avoid dealing with his ruse with Nieve because she was
dating someone.  On the other hand, she had a sinking feeling that he
was willing to carry the act farther, that Neil simply denied him that
opportunity.  Biting her lower lip gently, she forced herself to focus,
knowing that scheming and unraveling the situation would get her
nowhere.  "Go on."

"Well..."  Neil sighed, feeling more uncomfortable than ever around the
girl, something handing just on the tip of his tongue but holding
itself back for fear of driving the girl away, wanting not to show her
what a horrible person he truly was.  Even though he barely knew her,
he was certain that she would be disgusted by the sort of thoughts in
his head, would cut the discussion off right away if he opened his
stupid mouth.  Instead, he turned back towards the Eva, trying to go at
things from another angle.  "What do you think the Evas are?  I mean,
really?"

"Artificial combat lifeform Evangelion, designed as humanity's only
weapon against the attacks of the Angels.  The results of sixteen years
of research and development from NERV's Project Evangelion.  Clones of
the First Angel."  She shrugged, obviously not understanding where the
question was supposed to be leading.  "You know what they are, Neil.
They're our weapons."

"See, I don't believe that," he replied flatly, eyes still fixed on the
white slits that formed the eyes of the Eva, wondering almost
academically if behind those eyes that green iris of EVA-01 that he had
seen for just a moment was watching him, if the metal formation of its
jaw was truly a grin at his expense.  "I'm starting to wonder.  I know
that they're technically nothing more than that, but..."  He shrugged
weakly, still focused on the golem in front of him.  "Maybe the Evas
are us.  Maybe they're the representations of all of the worst parts of
who we are, one gigantic lump of all our negative qualities, something
that just keeps getting worse the longer we pilot them."  He paused,
opening his mouth again as though to deliver some kind of cap to the
sentence, then closing it idly.

Niobe followed his gaze rather idly, the words disturbing even as she
forced herself not to be upset by the implications.  "I don't think
so," she said at length, shaking her head as she looked up at the
horned crest of the Eva, her arms folding unconsciously over her chest
even as LCL slowly dripped off her plugsuit.  Neil turned towards her
slowly, cocking an eye slightly at her words, her eyes not deviating
for a second.  "I think the Eva can represent us at our worst, but I
think it can represent us at our best.  Think about it.  These are the
things that are protecting all of humanity, the weapons that we're
using against things that would otherwise obliterate us."  She paused,
then forced a smile as she turned her head towards Neil.  "It all
depends on what you look for in it."

Both Children remained silent for a moment, simply staring at the
massive machine before them, Neil almost forgetting himself for a
moment as he looked into the Eva's blank white eye.  He'd had every
intention of piloting again, not thinking of any way that he could make
things better by not piloting, but he'd never even given a moment to
consider Niobe's explanation, the though not even entering his mind.
"Maybe you're right," he muttered, the vaguest hints of a smile
beginning to tickle at the edges of his lips, something Niobe probably
would not have noticed even if she'd been looking for it.  "Sorry.  You
probably have other things that you need to be doing."

"Kind of," she replied with a shrug, feeling more than a little
awkward, still unsure of exactly how to end the conversation.  It was
the first time that she could remember even talking to Neil for
anything more than the most utilitarian of reasons, and it was slightly
unsettling despite herself.  "I'll see you later, at synch testing."
She hesitated a moment longer, then turned on her heel and began
walking towards the exit of the hangar, sparing only a momentary glance
back at the boy before passing through the hissing double doors.

Though he was aware that she'd departed, Neil was not focusing on
Niobe, instead letting his eyes rest firmly on the machine in front of
him, his thoughts suddenly finding new direction and energy with her
few simple words.  "Could that have been the Angel the whole time?" he
muttered to himself, blinking up at the monstrosity, beginning to feel
old feelings flow back into his limbs, a sort of well-being that he
couldn't remember having occured since the Twelfth Angel.  "We see what
we expect in the Evas.  What did I expect to see?"

Neil stared for a moment longer, then shook his head and turned to walk
towards the locker room, feeling energy creeping back into his limbs,
his vigor renewed and his eyes bright once again.  He had a girl at the
apartment that he needed to see, a beautiful girl with flaming red hair
and smooth skin, a girl with energy and drive.  Smiling ever so
slightly, he felt the image ofher from his visions disappear, as though
things were finally restoring themselves to the proper order.

                                  ]++[

Vash had a plan rattling about in his head, and as he watched the
scenery of Tokyo-3 flash past the long black car that he rode in he
couldn't help but smirk, the sorrow of the previous days gone from his
mind.  He knew that the NERV intelligence agents around him were
keeping a very close eye on his motions, knew that it would probably
get him reprimanded by Misato, but as he watched Eiko's pale cyan house
cycle into view, set slightly back from the street by a low row of
hedges, he also found himself unable to care.  "All right, driver, stop
the car," he announced, hoping that he'd figured the timing correctly.
"I'm getting out here for a minute."

One of the intel agents glanced back at him from the front passenger's
seat disapprovingly, a lit cigarette hanging out of the corner of the
man's mouth with a glowing red ember at the end, but the driver
continued to drive, apparently unconcerned by Vash's declaration.  It
was mildly disappointing, but he'd been expecting as much, and he
shrugged gently before reaching down and releasing the catch on his
seatbelt, hand moving towards the door, the agent's eyes widening.  "Or
don't stop.  This is going to hurt."

In one smooth motion, the driver slammed on the brakes, the agent with
the cigarette grabbed the other man's upper arm, and the agent sitting
next to Vash tiwsted towards the boy, the shock visible in his eyes
even behind the dark black sunglasses.  "What the hell are you doing?"
asked Cigarette, trying to sound decisive despite his obvious surprise,
winding up just outright confused.

"Getting out," replied Vash, trying to maintain his most innocent
possible expression, eyes wide and smiling broadly as he brought his
hand over towards the door handle.  "Like I said, I'm getting out for a
minute here, I'd like you to stop.  You decided not to stop, but that
didn't mean that I'd changed my mind about it.  So, you keep going,
I'll be waiting for you here.  Have fun."

"Don't even think about it!" snapped Cigarette, jerking forward and
grabbing Vash's wrist, nearly pressing the button to de-pressurize his
plugsuit as he yanked the boy's wrist away from the handle.  His
cigarette was perched even more precariously now, on the absolute edge
of his lip as he gaped at the boy in a straight mix of shock and
anger.  "We're bringing you to the testing site!"

"No, I'm getting out here," replied Vash, suddenly adopting a much more
sinister expression, hoping that he'd made the impression that he
wanted, knowing in the back of his mind that he'd reached the more
risky part of his plan.  "I know that you can't do anything without a
pilot, and if you show up without me you're all out of a job.  And I
also know that I'm going to get out whether or not you stop the car."
He smiled more broadly, trying to resist the cold sweat beneath his
skin.  "And if you try to restrain me, you'll be just as fired.  Trust
me on this one."

Silence reigned in the car for just a moment, all three agents simply
staring at the boy, Cigarette obviously the most flustered of the lot
and probably the leader of this particular goon squad.  Dealing with
NERV's Intelligence branch always felt like pulling teeth, and Vash
knew that he was bluffing when it came to his last threat, that he
would have great difficulty getting any of them fired for trying to
restrain him.  He was betting on not having to prove himself, on the
hope that the agents didn't know what he did.  Gritting his teeth, he
tried to remain calm, knowing that faltering would destroy the illusion
immediately, that his only chance was to remain collected and hope that
the lot of them bought it.

Then Cigarette released his hand, and Vash happily reached over to the
door and opened, it, holding in the release of tension until he was out
of the car, knowing that as soon as they saw it they'd realize he had
played the lot of them for fools.  "Make it quick," one of the agents
barked to Vash's backside, their voices too similar by design for him
to be entirely certain of which one.  The affair only merited a quick
wave as he shut the door behind him, taking a moment to breathe deeply
before walking towards Eiko's house swiftly.

Much as he wanted to believe that he'd gotten past the difficult part,
as he stepped towards the front door of Eiko's house he couldn't help
but feel a minor convulsion of terror, worried about what might happen
once he actually was facing the girl again.  He had never wanted to
argue with her in the first place, had not wanted to have it be a
necessity in order to keep his image solid, to avoid looking like
something he didn't want.  Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to
step up to the front door, bringing his knuckles against it, then
immediately shifting to a smile as he heart the door beginning to
open.  "Okay, listen, I know you're mad at me, Ei-"

Vash stopped, then trailed off as he stared at the woman in the
doorway, his knees going slightly weak.  Though he could see where Eiko
had gotten her looks from, it was obviously not her in the doorway as
he had expected, and that meant that his plan had officially been
thrown a curveball.  "Um.  Hi, Mrs. Suzuhara.  Is Eiko-san here?"

"You, young man, are precisely the last person that she wants to see
right now," replied the woman, arms folded across her chest, her
expression stern as she took a step forward, her relatively plain white
dress swishing about her ankles somewhat.  "First your irresponsibility
during the first Angel attack puts Toji in the jospital - I always told
Toji that you were a bad influence, but that boy wouldn't listen to
anything - but then you -"

A thought occured to Vash, and he held up a hand for a moment, then
deftly stepped around the elder woman, heading towards the stairs that
he knew led up to Eiko's room.  "It's NERV business, ma'am," he said
flatly, doubting that she was entirely convinced but also knowing that
she couldn't tell him not to go on the chance that he was telling the
truth.  He glashed one last smile at her as she frowned at him, then
dashed up the stairs in a blur of motion, hoping against logic that she
would be there, instead of forcing him to go through her father as well.

Luckily and unluckily enough, she was already standing at the top of
the stairs, staring down at him angrily, her brow furrowed and eyes
flashing darkly, arms crossed across her chest.  "Whatever you're going
to say to me, say it quickly," she snapped, taking a step forward, the
loose bottom edge of her t-shirt slightly swishing about her blue jeans.

Inwardly, Vash thanked God that she hadn't been wearing a skirt, saving
him the difficult task of avoiding the temptation to try and steal a
glance, knowing that it was entirely the wrong time.  "Look, Eiko, I
know you're mad at me about what happened the other night.  I acted
like a jerk.  I know it.  And..."  He paused, shaking his head.  "I
don't know if you believe me or not, but I really am sorry."

Eiko's mother loudly cleared her throat, and both Children snapped
their gazes downwards towards the elder woman, her expression stern and
obviously disapproving.  "As I remember, you said that this was NERV
business," she barked, her right arm beginning to gesture towards the
door.

Vash sighed, giving a quick glance back towards Eiko before looking at
her mother again.  "I'm a part of NERV, therefore it's NERV business,"
he offered flatly, provoking another disgruntled stare that he ignored
as he turned back towards the girl in front of him.  "Look, Eiko, I'm
sorry.  There's nothing that I can say to take back the stupid things
that I did.  But we've known each other for years now.  We've always
been a couple.  We -work- together.  I..."  He paused for a moment,
feeling vaguely uncomfortable about going any further in front of her
mother.  "I would do anything for you.  You know that.  I just... get
scared."

Eiko stared at the boy for a moment, her expression neutral as she
tried to figure out what was going on inside her head, knowing that
Vash would need an answer of some sort almost immediately.  She was
still angry at him, and she had to admit that the thought of being with
Neil was at least a little exciting, even more anathema to her parents
than the boy standing in front of her.  But she didn't want to be
alone, either, and there was something unspeakably pitiable about the
look in his eyes, a sort of lovable honesty that she couldn't help but
be attracted to.  After a moment more of simple staring, she broke down
and smiled, and Vash smiled back.  "Promise me you'll handle the Neil
thing better, then?"

"Of course," he replied, smiling more broadly and taking a step up
towards the girl, letting her body brush up against his, ignoring the
disgruntled squawk coming from her mother as a result.  "I won't even
get all jealous and retarded about it.  Unless that's what you want.
But it ain't what you want, is it?"

"Silly boy," replied Eiko, leaning over and letting her lips brush
agains his, feeling the familiar comfort in his kiss even as she heard
her mother make a louder and more disgruntled noise to coincide with
the kiss.  Their lips parted after a moment, eyes locking as Mrs.
Suzuhara shouted angrily up at them.  "I forgot to ask - why are you in
your plugsuit, anyways?  Did you run out of clothes or something?"

"Nope.  I've actually got NERV Intel sitting outside waiting in a
car."  He shrugged, glad to see the girl giggle slightly with his
words.  "Ritsuko said that we'd be testing some kind of extended-
operation battery down in Tokyo-2, so I'm getting airlifted with my Eva 
so that I can perform the test.  Didn't say why they wanted me, though 
I think it's just because Ritsuko's got a crush on me."

"You aren't always as smart as you'd like to think you are," the girl
replied with a smile, slapping him gently on the cheek, feeling
comfortable standing near him, a fact that made her feel at once
relieved and conflicted.  "Better get going, then.  I can't imagine
that the agents are particularly happy about acting as chauffers."

Vash was comfortable once again, and as he smiled at Eiko one last time
he turned to head down the stairs, unconcerned with Mrs. Suzuhara as
she began to prepare some lecture or another.  For his part, he was
happy that everything had worked out, that despite the odds against him
both of his gambles had turned out well.  "I'll be back this evening!"
he shouted to Eiko, leaning out the door even as Mrs. Suzuhara
continued to talk.  "And we'll go out to eat!  Somewhere nicer than the
arcade!  Someplace where -"

The door slammed shut in his face, but Vash simply shook his head and
turned to head back to the car, sauntering ever so slightly, feeling
terrifically satisfied with himself.  Nobody had wound up thinking any
less of him, and his relationship was repaired anyways.  For all that
things had felt to be hurtling towards a collision, as he walked back
to the car and the obviously displeased Intel agents he couldn't help
but think that the worst was over.

                                  ]++[

Staring off into the distance, Misato could see the Eva transport
carrying the black form of EVA-03 in the distance, the black goliath
only barely visible on the back of the plane as it flew through an
unusually dense patch of clouds, the sky otherwise clear except for the
lone concentration.  Understandably, it reminded the woman of the day
it and EVA-04 had first flown into Japan, and though she was now
viewing the approach from a windowed booth high above the testing site
it was the same general situation, right down to the only real reason
for watching it being the absolute dearth of anything else interesting
to do.  "I wonder if he's worried," she muttered, leaning her full
weight against the frame of the window, letting her brown eyes flick
about the landscape, even briefly resting in the valley nearby being
used as a testing area.

"He shouldn't be," replied Ritsuko, a whirl of activity as she moved
about the booth, checking various remote displays and jotting down
quick notes on a clipboard.  "The Twelfth Angel isn't here.  Whatever
systemic irregularities caused EVA-01 to berserk simply don't exist in
the production models.  Every precaution has been taken to ensure that
the pilot will be as safe as possible."  She paused for a moment,
letting her lab coat settle about her, her blonde hair swishing to a
stop.  "Or are you just wishing that misery had some company right
about now?"

"Both," replied Misato grimly, sighing heavily and trying to sort out
in the back of her head how she was going to deal with Ritsuko.  There
had been no signs of cracks between her and Kaji - part of that, she
was certain, came from the fact that there had only been a limited
number of indications that there was anything between them in the first
place, even when the three of them went out.  But it was still
apparently working, and that meant that Misato had to deal with that on
top of everything else.  "I guess I'm mostly worried about Neil,
though."

"Understandable.  It is your job to take care of him."  The blonde
woman sounded surprisingly dispassionate about the situation, something
that Misato still found vaguely upsetting even though she'd more than
known about that particular tendency of her friend from long before the
present.  "He's mentally fine.  No abnormal neural impulses, no cranial
damage - if I had to venture a guess, I'd say that he's actually a
little better than fine.  Long-term exposure to LCL can provide some
minor neurological benefits because of the chemicals brough into the
bloodstream, mostly an increase in the body's retention of some
minerals and an increased reaction speed.  If you still don't think
he's all right, it's a matter for a psychologist."

"I couldn't sent him to one if I wanted to.  It's an informal
guardianship."  She paused, then glanced back towards Ritsuko, watching
as her former friend moved dispassionately about the room, wishing that
she could distance herself from the situation in the same way.
"Besides, it probably wouldn't help him much if he did go.  He just
doens't want to talk about what happened to him in there, to me or to
anyone else."  Her eyes fluttered closed as she shook he head gently,
distantly hearing the Eva carrier drawing closer with the roar of the
engines becoming louder.  "This isn't fair to them, Ritsuko.  They
shouldn't have to pilot these things on demand, to act like adults so
early.  I feel like we're stealing their childhood."

"Our childhood was stolen too, Misato," said Ritsuko flatly, something
barely lying beneath her words, drawing Misato's gaze back towards
her.  The woman didn't falter for a moment in her motions about the
room, remaining resolute and unaffected by the conversation on a visual
level.  "We had to grow up in the aftermath of Armageddon.  We were
almost their age, a few years here or there, and then we watched
everything crumble around us."  She hesitated for just a moment, then
resuming her motions.  "Most of them still have fathers.  That's more
than either of us can say."

Misato flicked her eyes down towards the floor, feeling the weight of
Ritsuko's words pressing against her shoulders gently, the roar of the
jet engines getting closer and managing to send the seeping smell of
burning gasoline into the small control room.  "I guess I'm just
reminded of how little we can really do to protect them.  They have
faith in us."  She sighed, then looked up towards Ritsuko, wanting to
see her friend smile, doubting that it would happen.

Certainly enough, Ritsuko's face remained stern, not out of anger or
exasperation but simply from her innate drive, as though she was
operating the booth alone and someone entirely different was dealing
with Misato.  "Then have faith in them," she replied flatly, pressing a
few buttons and sending the control room into a beeping and flashing
flurry of activity, effectively killing the conversation.  Outside, the
Eva carrier was gently releasing EVA-03, disengaging the onboard power
cable immediately as the black golem landed in the center of the
valley, workers scrambling about it.  "It's time."

Nodding curtly, Misato nodded, stepping over to the lone microphone of
the room, casting her gaze outwards towards the Eva's surroundings.  It
was a green valley, almost eerily peaceful in the presence of the alien
monstrosity that was Vash's machine, bushes and shrubs broken up by the
thin steel-gray constructs that NERV had erected about the Eva's
testing area.  A few massive cranes were already lifting the object of
their testing from near the bottom of the valley, a scaled-up backpack
sort of device painted in orange and black stripes along with multiple
large warnings.  "All right, Vash, we're going to begin the testing,"
she announced, trying to remind herself that everything was going to be
all right, that it would only take a little time.

"Gotcha," replied the boy, rubbing the back of his head as he
straightened the Eva to its full height, still coming down a little
from the amazing few moments that he had spent with Eiko.  Though he
wanted to spend time with the girl immediately, he didn't outright
resent having to pilot his machine for a test, he just didn't like
having a headache to deal with on top of everything else.  He'd felt
fine when he'd gotten in the Eva, but about the time that they'd neared
the testing site he'd begun to feel a sort of stinging pain in the back
of his head.  Still, it wasn't affecting his performance, and he
couldn't let something like a headache show.  "So, what am I supposed
to do?"

"We're testing your machine with an external battery system," replied
Misato as Vash swung his head about, letting his eyes focus on the odd
orange-block device, prongs obviously designed for the port in the back
of his Eva sticking out of it.  It approached for a moment longer, then
Vash distantly felt it plugging into the back of his machine as it
beeped an acknowledgement of the renewed power source.  "Having to run
the Evas off of cords all the time is getting to be a little bit risky,
and besides that we want to be sure that you can operate under variable
conditions."

"Fair enough," replied Vash, hearing a few mechanical noises behind him
that he assumed were the sound of the battery fully attaching, letting
himself slouch slightly into a more natural posture for the Eva,
flexing his hands around the handrests.  The slight buzzing of a
headache remained, but as he stared out across the empty valley he
pushed it from his mind, knowing that he had more important things to
be doing.  "It's definitely powering my Eva, if that's what you're
wondering."

Misato smiled despite herself, then shook her head to empty air, the
gesture coming even as she knew Vash couldn't see her.  "We're more
concerned about how the Eva performs with the system attached," she
replied, glancing towards Ritsuko and stepping slightly away from the
microphone, knowing that Vash would be able to take care of himself for
a moment sitting in his Eva.  "How's he doing?"

"All right.  Synch ratio's up to about 51%, still fairly high, but
nothing outside of his normal range.  All of the armor attachments seem
to be functioning correctly."  The other woman frowned for a moment,
then relaxed her face as though she'd discarded the concern.
"Something's interfering with the conduction on the thrity-first
cluster, but that's the cluster closest to the armor.  Might just be
minor interference from the electrical impulses.  If he can support the
weight comfortably, we might see about increasing the shielding a
little."

Nodding, Misato turned back towards Vash, beginning to share in the
blonde scientist's optimism.  "All right, Vash, the first thing we need
to do is just evaluate movement.  Move out of the main testing area
carefully, but once you're out you can go a little nuts.  Jump, run,
just move around a lot.  See how the new battery feels."

Vash tightened his grip around the handrests of his Eva, still
purposely blinding himself to the nagging pain in the back of his head
and pushing his machine forward.  "Understood," he replied, letting his
fingers clench and release in steady pattern, waiting until the second
he was outside of the testing area before pressing donw harder on the
handrests and breaking out into a full-fledged run, letting his
machine's feet strike the fertile green land and send up clouds of
branches and dirt.  He could feel a vague weight on his back, but as he
dropped to a quick crouch and sprang into the air he almost forgot
about it, the added burden minor at best.  "Feels pretty much normal,"
he announced, letting his Eva lurch to a stop, still unsure of whether
or not Misato wanted him to continue.

"That contamination in the thirty-first is spreading slowly," Ritsuko
announced, just outside of the range of the microphone's pickup, as
though she was afraid of what would happen if Vash heard her.  Misato
considered giving Vash a cursory reply for a moment, then decided
against it, instead simply turning towards Ritsuko, taking a single
step towards the glow of the computer monitor framing the blonde
woman's face.  Certainly enough, the display was showing some kind of
contamination, something she couldn't imagine having noticed without
looking for it but there nonetheless.  "I'm not sure if it has
something to do with the power demand on the battery, though."  She let
her mouth open halfway again, then closed it and turned back towards
the display, trying to analyze the data being relayed.

Misato shrugged, then stepped over to the microphone, wishing that she
had some easier way of keeping in touch with Vash.  "Okay, Vash,
proceed back to the testing site and wait for a minute or two.  We're
going to see how quickly the unit calms down after activation."  She
paused for a moment, watching the black Eva begin to walk back towards
what Misato saw as the center of the valley, the sky around it
beginning to grow ever so slightly darker, heavy clouds beginning to
move in slowly.  It was an unusually fast change in the whether, and
Misato couldn't help but think of the way that the Angels had
occasionally interfered with weather by sheer virtue of the amount of
energy they threw up.  "Vash?  Are you feeling all right?"

Vash wanted to laugh off the inquiry, but he couldn't ignore the vague
sensation of the headache in the back of his mind, growing more painful
by the second.  "Well..."  He paused for a moment, stepping back into
the main area of the testing site and feeling the stinging bite even
more clearly as the clouds rolled in about him.  It was unnatural, the
speed at which they were approaching, as though something bad was about
to happen.  "I do sort of have a headache.  Since we got close to the
testing site, actually, but I didn't want to say anything."  He
frowned, feeling the pain redouble, and his hands instinctively
tightened around the handrests.

"EVA-03 is unfolding its AT field!" snapped Ritsuko, drawing Misato's
attention away from the black goliath in front of her once again
towards the various computer displays.  She had barely a moment to step
towards the screens before Ritsuko barreled past her, stepping over to
the microphone herself and yanking it towards her own mouth.  "Koji,
what the hell are you doing?  You just activated EVA-03's AT field!
That's going to interfere with any maintenance!"

Gritting his teeth against the growing pain of the headache, Vash
remained silent as the woman shouted at him over the microphone, his
hand moving to rub the back of his head out of habit.  "I'm not trying
to activate the field, Dr. Akagi," he protested, letting his hand touch
the surface of his head as he tasted the salty LCL more sharply in his
mouth.  An odd lump seemed to have formed on the back of his head, and
he grimaced as the pain increased further, fingers tracing the lump.
He realized only a second later that what he was feeling was a growth
extending upwards from the base of his neck, and as he felt his eyes
widen he traced it down with his fingers, feeling ridges of flesh
slowly raising from his body like spiderwebs.  Glancing back, he could
see the skin rising around what seemed to be blood vessels, the pain
increasing in his body like liquid fire, eyes widening more and more
with each passing second.

Staring at the black golem in the center of the testing area, Misato
could hear Vash suddenly let out a scream in the same instant that one
of the monitors beeped an angry alert and the sky opened up, darkening
with clouds further and further as the precipitation dinged against the
roof of the booth.  Both Misato and Ritsuko whipped their heads around
towards the display and saw the reading with a mixture of horror and
detachment, something about them simply being too horrific to
contemplate.  "Shit," muttered Misato, her mouth working again first,
brown eyes wide as she took in the words on the screen.

"Pattern blue," whispered Ritsuko.  "EVA-03 has become an Angel."

Vash's horrified scream became joined by a greater, more horrific noise
as the black monstrosity ripped away the battery, hurling it carelessly
away as the technicians scurried about in hopes of avoiding the beast's
wrath.  Unable to do anything but watch, both women saw as the black
beast's mouth tore itself open and let out a great roar, the battery
crashing against one of the cranes that had raised it in the first
place as the Angel grabbed at the remaining crane, ripping it open in a
display of raw strength.  Misato felt her eyes beginning to tear,
realizing in the blink of an eye that she would likely never see Kaji
or Neil or Nieve ever again, and she forced herself to focus instead on
the window, the hail from the sky ricocheting against it angrily.

The Angel's back twitched slightly, and the former Eva's eyes glowed
for a moment before a corona of energy formed around the beast for just
a second, cast off in a second to release an explosion spreading
through the valley with lethal results.  The forest and buildings
around the Angel burned, and with a resolute expression the massive
black golem began to lumber towards Tokyo-3, heedless of the screaming
pilot within its chest.

                                  ]++[

"Blue pattern detected on the outskirts of Tokyo-2!  EVA-03 seems to be
right on top of the Angel!"  Makoto's voice was as calm as the
situation demanded, but the note of panic lying beneath it had nothing
to do with the stress of the situation.  The thought of Misato being so
close to the Angel's attack instead of insulated behind the walls of
the Geo-Front was terrifying to say the least, and the knowledge that
he could do nothing but report only made things worse.  "We've got no
visual in the area!  Waiting for UN intercept forces to scramble!"

On the upper level, Fuyutsuki simply stared at the screen, his hands
tightened as he glanced for a moment over towards Kaji, lounging
opposite Commander Ikari with the same sort of quizzical grin on his
face that he usually wore.  "You don't seem particularly worried about
Ritsuko," he said flatly, more than a little resentful of the other
man's attitude towards the crisis.

"She's got Misato with her.  The two of them are fairly resourceful."
Kaji's expression was unwavering as he stared at the main screen, as
though expecting what was coming, waiting cat-like as Makoto shouted
the announcement that initial feeds from the UN interceptor jets were
established, revealing only a hulking humanoid figure surrounded by
flames in the background and steadily falling hail.  "Besides, Ritsuko
wouldn't want anyone to cry over her.  She certainly wouldn't cry over
her own death.  Probably work straight through it."

Gendou said nothing, staring simply at the form before him, suppressing
a sigh in the back of his mind.  Though he knew that Fuyutsuki would be
able to guess at the identity of their opponent if he would stop
worrying about Ritsuko long enough to think, he was certain that none
of the others had figured out what was going on.  It was one of the
advantages that he had from what he did know of the Dead Sea Scrolls,
and while he'd expected something similar he'd almost hoped that it
would come later, when he was better prepared.  Resiting the urge to
shake his head and sigh, he simply reached and pushed his glasses
further up his nose, tenting his hands in front of his face as he
watched the fighters being swatted away.  "In the absence of Major
Katsuragi, I will take control of this operation.  Where are our
nearest pilots?"

The level below fell silent for just a moment, the technicians
exchanging quick glances as the video feed on the main screen crackled
and died, then switched to one of the remaining aerodrones.  Though
nominally the commander, Gendou had never truly taken a fully active
hand in the operations of the Evas, and the thought that he was doing
so now only reaffirmed the worries of what might have happened to
Ritsuko and Misato.  Then Maya let her fingers begin to move across the
keyboard, knowing that Ritsuko would have wanted her to continue
working.  "The First and Sixth Children are within the facility.  The
Third is currently departing."

Nodding, Gendou thought for a moment as he surveyed the static-speckled
display before him, the black beast moving as though it was afraid of
coming into full view, limbs clawing away at the aerodrones swarming
towards it.  "Deploy EVA-00 and EVA-05 immediately, EVA-00 at the
farthest edge of our launch perimeter and EVA-05 in the fourth circle.
When Neil is suited up, launch EVA-01 to the outskirts of the city."
He paused briefly, pushing his glasses further up his nose, then turned
his gaze quickly towards Fuyutsuki.  "You may organize a rescue team to
the test site, if you desire."

Kozou frowned for a moment, then flicked his eyes back towards the main
screen with a heavy sigh, his answer obvious even though he clearly
disliked the options availble to him.  "No, that's all right," he
replied, watching the beast tear through its assailants as weapons
bounced harmlessly off its AT field, knowing that the question was more
of a formality than an actual option.  "We have more pressing matters
to deal with right now."

                                  ]++[

With a quick press of the button on the plugsuit's oversized wrist,
Neil's suit vacuumized itself and sealed tightly against his skin, a
sensation that still made him slightly uncomfortable but one he knew he
had no time to contemplate.  Whether he liked it or not, he had to
pilot his Eva now, to make sure that the Angel didn't level the city
around him, despite the fact that he had been pleased with his decision
to finally talk to her about what had happened inside of the Angel.
"Can't be helped," he muttered to himself, barely noticing the hissing
of the doors as he ran from the locker room, hurtling himself through
the teal halls of the facility as he approached the Eva hangar.

By the time he actually arrived in the area, the fluid had already been
drained from around EVA-01, the entry plug waiting in front of him as
the purple goliath stared down at him, slit-white eyes seeming to dare
him to get inside of the machine.  He hesitated for just a moment,
staring up at the Eva, feeling the green eye still lurking just behind
the slit of its helmet, disapproving and terrifying at once.  "No time
for that," he muttered, shaking his head and leaping into the entry
plug, sliding into the cockpit seat as the white cylinder began to move
towards the Eva.

"You're later than we expected, Neil," said Makoto, his voice familiar
to Neil from the power outage incident.  "We've already gotten EVA-00
and EVA-05 out on the surface.  You'll be acting as the last line of
defense now, until the other two Children show up."  He paused for a
moment, as though checking something, remaining silent as the entry
plug slid into the Eva and locked into place with a chorus of
mechanical whirs.  "Are you ready to synchronize?"

Neil took a deep breath, savoring the sweet taste of the real air,
trying to avoid a rising wave of panic at the thought of moving the
gigantic machine once again, recalling the horrific taste of blood in
his mouth as he'd hallucinated inside of the Angel.  Closing his eyes,
he nodded, realizing a second later that Makoto couldn't see him.
"Ready," he replied, trying to keep his voice upbeat as he heard the
LCL trickling into the chamber, waiting to feel it begin to embrace his
ankles and creep upwards along his body.  "Where's Misato?  Isn't she
in charge of the operation?"

Though Neil wasn't immediately certain of the response, the second that
Makoto hesitated he knew that it wouldn't be good, and his hands
unconsciously tightened around the handrests, anger tickling in the
back of his head at the though of being kept from information.
"Neil... Misato was at the testing site of EVA-03 where we first picked
up the Angel.  We haven't heard from anyone at the site... we think
that the Angel might have..."  He trailed off, unable to see Neil
reacting inside the cockpit.  "I'm sorry.  We're not certain yet."

A shudder went through the boy's body as he felt a tear trickle down
his cheek, feelings conflicted on every level, his anger only growing
greater as he felt the thick LCL rush down his lungs, salty taste
tearing his eyes further.  "That's all right," he hissed, grip
tightening on the handrests, the presence of the Eva beginning to echo
in the back of his mind.  "I don't suppose there's any way to get
myself put on the front lines to take on the Angel immediately?"

"Ryo and Niobe have it covered," replied Makoto as the Eva's cameras
snapped to life, Neil's eyes focusing on the new display, his breath
slow and steady, rage bubbling just beneath his skin.  "Don't worry.
We'll organize a team to investigate the site before long.  Predicting
what the Angels do has never been easy, so for all we know it might
have just ignored the humans at the site."

Makoto continued to talk, but Neil wasn't listening, simply feeling his
Eva move towards the launch pad, his hands gripping the handrests in a
stranglehold as though it would have some effect on the machine's
operation.  He could feel the hatred and anger from his last time in
the Eva reasserting itself, but this time he knew that it was for the
right reasons, knew that he was seeing the truth in the Eva instead of
simply what he wanted.  He would destroy the Angel, would tear it apart
with all of his energy, would make it pay if it had hurt Misato.  It
was the right thing, and as he felt his machine begin to lurch towards
the surface he didn't even spare a thought to realize how his anger
truly felt, how tightly his hands gripped the cockpit.

Ryo distantly heard the noise of Neil's Eva rising to the surface, but
his thoughts were more focused, watching the horizon for the Angel that
he knew was coming.  He was the farthest out of the group according to
Gendou, and that meant that he would be the first to test the
capabilities of the approaching Angel.  Other Children would have felt
scared, excited, but Ryo knew that it was not his place to do anything
but simply act, wait for the Angel to come and then attack it with the
shotgun resting in his arms.  Still, as he waited, he couldn't help but
feel something nagging at the back of his head, a fly stuck in the
routine as his Eva's fingers twitched against the trigger of the
shotgun.

"Evangelion unit 00, moving further out on the perimeter," announced
Ryo quietly over the comm line, cradling the shotgun as he lumbered
along, taking in the civilian houses and roads he was stomping past,
the hail beginning to fall gently around the area and against his
machine.  He could feel the steady impact of the tiny projectiles, a
mild irritation to anyone else, utterly ignored by the pale blue-haired
boy, his Eva slowly moving and crouching behind a hill, twisting its
head about to look in the direction that the Angel was coming from.
"No visual confirmation of target yet.  Will continue to hold position
for five minutes."  It was a standard routine, nothing out of the
ordinary, but he couldn't chase the memory of his morning exchange with
Niobe out of his mind, recalling how the routines around him had begun
to break down.

Then, like a flash of lightning, he saw the black beast that he knew as
the Angel, lumbering towards him slowly, silhouetted against the small
flecks of ice tearing through the air.  The form looked familiar to
Ryo, but he pushed the thought out of his mind, his grip on the rifle
tightening.  "Thirteenth Angel sighted," he hissed, hauling himself to
his feet, hesitating for just a moment before lurching around and
firing twice at the Angel, ice scattering as the massive shotgun
released two bursts of ammunition, gunsmoke beginning to flutter about
through the hail.

Unsuprisingly, the shot simply bounced off of the black monstrosity's
AT Field, the octagonal pattern rippling outward with the impact of the
first shot, and Ryo felt the uncomfortable resemblance strike him again
as a grin seemed to creep across the the Angel's face.  Ignoring his
thoughts, Ryo stepped forward once again, pumping and firing the
shotgun, keeping his machine's lone red eye fixed on the Angel as it
crouched and lept skyward, following its path as it came over him and
lashed out with its arms, the two limbs extending downwards to slam
against Ryo's AT Field.  The beast's grin widened, and it landed off to
Ryo's side, his gun following its path flawlessly.  "Thirteenth Angel
engaged," he said calmly into the radio, pumping the shotgun once more
for effect.  "Backup currently unnecessary."

Without hesitation, the Angel lunged at Ryo once again, and the Eva's
AT field collided with that of the beast in front of it, the flaring
octagons preventing Ryo from getting a clear look at his assailant.  A
single shotgun blast sent the Angel reeling, and Ryo took the chance to
lunge at the beast himself, intending to neutralize his opponent's AT
field.  Still grinning, the Angel flipped backwards, landing further
back on a stretch of open land as the hail continued to fall, Ryo's Eva
moving quickly towards its opponent and firing off a series of blasts,
hoping to chip away at the beast's AT field at least slightly.  The
Angel leaned back for a moment, then stepped around Ryo's machine and
swung two overextended arms towards him, knocking him to the ground
from sheer force.

Ryo grimaced involuntarily as his Eva slammed into the ground, sending
up a gout of dirt and greenery even as the AT Field flared from the
sudden shock of the blow.  He grimaced involuntarily as he forced
himself to remain moving, knowing that the Angel didn't actually hurt
him yet just as he knew it wasn't about to stop trying, that his only
true advantage was the fact that EVA-00 had the strongest AT field of
the entire line after its reconstruction.  A swift kicking motion with
his feet sent him into something resembling a standing position, and he
fired off a quick blast from the shotgun as he rose, trying to keep the
Angel off-guard as he recovered, hoping that it would be possible to
have a moment to recover.

He saw the Angel moving towards him even before he had pulled the
trigger, however, and by the time he had let the Eva's finger slam it
down he realized that the beast's momentum alone would send it into
him.  Certainly enough, the black monstrosity slammed into the Eva once
again, sending Ryo skidding backwards further as the octagonal pattern
of the AT field flared about him, shimmering lights blinking outwards
from both fields.  Forcing himself to remember the routine, Ryo reached
out and thrust his hand against the monstrosity's field, letting his
fingers pry into it, shoving the barrel of the shotgun forward as the
field dissipated and he got a clear look at his target.

Any of the other Children would have gasped, but Ryo simply stared, his
expression remaining fixed as he saw that he was jamming the barrel of
his shotgun against the head of EVA-03, the black machine's jaw half-
opened, eyes flashing with the malevolence of an Angel, arms distended
and scraping against the ground.  He knew that the routine dictated he
show no mercy, that he pull the trigger and blast the beast's head off,
but somehow he found himself hesitating, the routine in his mind
faltering.  Vash was inside of the Eva, he was certain of it, no doubt
being tormented by the beast.  It could not be as simple as just
pulling the trigger.  For the first time that he could remember, Ryo
truly went against his routine, simply abandoning it in the heat of
battle, his Eva hesitating as the muzzle of the shotgun pressed against
the side of the black machine's head.

The Angel, however, did not hesitate, and the moment that Ryo took a
moment of shock it took the shotgun in its hands and squeezed tightly,
crushing the metal weapon firmly, tearing it away from the other Eva
and casting it off into the horizon.  Ryo staggered backwards, then
forced himself to return to his routine, sending a mental command to
his machine to deploy one of his prog knives, the shoulder flange
popping open.  "Shotgun destroyed," he announced calmly, retrieving his
knife in his left hand as the Angel approached.  "Switching to
progressive knife."

Lifting one arm, Ryo brought the other Eva to a shuddering stop as it
lunged at him, and he brought the knife towards the other machine's
gut, planning to try and disable it.  He felt the black monstrosity's
hand grip his forearm as he stabbed upwards, however, and even as he
struggled against it he felt the other hand latch on just as firmly.
Ryo struggled, watching as his former ally's arms bubbled with
strength, the same way that the limbs of the Third Angel had just
before it broke Neil's arm.  Ryo felt a moment of terror, and gritted
his teeth for what he knew was about to come, unable to re-establish
his AT field in time, doubting that it would make any difference if he
did.

With a horrible tearing noise, EVA-03 twisted and ripped off the left
arm of the blue Eva unit, shoulder and all coming off in a single gout
of blood and tearing flesh.  Ryo, to his credit, resisted the urge to
scream as best he could, but his left arm was on fire as though it had
been torn off as well, and he let out a small howl of pain as he
staggered backwards, his Eva's systems quickly snapping off the blood
flow for the machine and ensuring that the unit didn't die.  Gritting
his teeth, trying to force himself through the pain, he tried to force
up his AT field once again, the pain almost unbearable.

In the command center, Gendou adjusted his glasses briefly, watching
EVA-03 slam its opponent into the nearest foothill, knowing that the
Angel would not release Ryo until it thought it had destroyed the
opposition.  The technicians on the level below were shouting warnings
about Ryo's condition, about the synch ratio beginning to lower, the
pulse connectors being damaged, neural feedback approaching dangerous
levels.  "Reverse the synch flow of EVA-00's pilot," he announced
flatly, his tone betraying no emotion even as he worried about what
might be happening to the boy inside the cockpit.  "Shut down all
external signs of power.  Tell Niobe to be prepared to assault the
Angel as soon as it comes within visual range."

His machine rocked as the black Eva assaulted it, and Ryo struggled to
regain his grip on the machine around him as he felt the LCL swirl
around him.  Then the cameras abruptly shut off, and one final shudder
passed through the blue machine, Ryo knowing immediately what had
happened simply by the lack of outside input.  Through the layers of
the Eva's armor, he could hear the sound of EVA-03 releasing him, the
machine storming off towards Tokyo-3, its destination just as certain
as that of the other Angels.

Ryo stared at the blackness of the cockpit surrounding him, breathing
in the bloody LCL steadily, feeling emotions that he'd never known
before embrace his mind.  He knew why the Angel had gotten a chance to
damage his machine and send him crashing to the ground, knew that none
of it would have happened if he hadn't decided to be a fool and break
the routine.  Much as he wanted to justify his actions, he knew that it
was his fault, knew that whatever happened for the rest of the battle
was a direct result of his own misplaced actions.  It was a day of
firsts for Ryo as he eased back against the LCL-soaked black nylon of
the seat, experiencing guilt.

                                  ]++[

"Stupid Japanese," muttered Nieve, her foot pressed down hard against
the gas pedal as the small red car screamed down the empty streets of
Tokyo-3, white buildings flying past her as she headed towards Eiko's
house.  She had managed to get the directions from a rather hurried
mark on a map she'd found in Neil's room, and while under normal
circumstances she would have let it bother her she had other things on
her mind.  She was frustrated with the boy for not letting her in,
annoyed at having to drive out to get Eiko, and worried about Neil out
in the Eva at the same time that she was upset with him.  It was a poor
combination for driving, but with the blaring Angel alert the streets
were laregely empty, and even full the streets were at least twice as
wide as anything that Nieve was used to driving on.  "They couldn't
live a little closer to the center of the city?"

Eyes flicking along the sides of the street, Nieve could see Eiko
running towards what she assumed was the nearest entrance to NERV, an
entrance that she knew would be at least twenty minutes away on foot.
Screeching to a halt, she slammed hard on the wheel to send the car
skidding around in a circle, the front lurching into the opposite
direction as it stopped just in front of Eiko.  The girl was obviously
shocked, and shaking her head Nieve opened the door and lunged out,
leaning precariously outside of the driver's seat and gesturing towards
Eiko.  "Come on, damn it!  We've got to get down to Central Dogma
before the Angel destroys the entire damn city!"

As if on cue, a massive footfall filled the air, the ground around the
two girls shuddering, sending Nieve falling from her rather unstable
perch towards the ground and landing rather unceremoniously on her
back.  Frowning as her shoulderblades slammed against the pavement, she
frowned, the fabric of her blouse tightening uncomfortably as she
shoved herself back to her feet, her gaze scanning the sky for the
Angel.  "See?  This is what happens when you don't listen to me right
away."  She paused, then noticed that Eiko was already staring off into
the sky, at something very specific.  "What?  What is it?"

The Japanese girl didn't even seem to hear Nieve immediately, then
gestured upwards, and Nieve followed her gaze, staring off into the
distance for a second before her eyes widened with shock.  EVA-03 was
storming along, but it was obvious that something was wrong with the
machine, the arms long and slightly discolored, the jaw hanging open
and emitting quick pulses of steam as the hail continued to fall from
the sky.  Nieve frowned, but Eiko simply stared in horror, seemingly
ignorant of the small pellets of ice slamming against her body.
"That's Vash's machine," she whispered, staring for a moment before
turning and staring at Nieve.  "Do you think that Vash is in there?"

Nieve wanted to tell the girl that she was being silly, but she wasn't
sure herself, had no way of knowing whether or not Eiko's boyfriend was
inside the Eva.  Before she could say anything however, she heard a
loud hissing noise, and she knew instinctively whay was happening as a
cloud of smoke rose from the Eva's back.  Frowning more darkly, she
took a deep breath before hurling herself over the hood of the car,
landing gracelessly besides the Japanese girl and grabbing her
shoulders.  Eiko gaze a quick squack, but Nieve ignored it, simply
yanking the girl away from the Eva, another hissing noise filling the
air.

Half a second later, the black panel on the upper back of the Eva that
slid aside for the entry plug exploded upwards in a column of smoke, a
certain sign of the emergency ejection procedure activating, a sight
burned into Nieve's memory from the day that her mother had died.  It
was an entirely different experience watching the black monstrosity
suddenly freeze against a backdrop of ebon clouds and streaks of ice,
the plug disengaging roughly within without even severing the neural
connection, followed by another burst of smoke as the plug itself
launched upwards.

Both girls watched, but the plug did not fly forth as they'd expected,
instead stopping halfway out of the ejection port.  Squinting her eyes
and trying her best to see what was going on, Nieve could see something
coating over the plug, something that she assumed to be a secretion of
the Angel, some forceful way of keeping the plug inserted enough so
that the machine could keep operating.  "I guess we know about Vash,
then," muttered Nieve, trying to sound confident as she stared at the
black monstrosity, entry plug beginning to be shoved back in by the
Angel's secretion as its movements resumed.

Eiko was still fixated on the black monstrosity storming along the ice-
flecked skyline, brown eyes wide and locked on the beast as it lumbered
along, a midnight-black mirror of her Eva except for the colors and the
obvious difference of not being taken over by an Angel.  "How..."  She
swallowed hard, throat dry and raspy, then turned towards Nieve.  "How
could that have happened?  I know that they're clones of the First
Angel, but... but what happened to him?"

"A different kind of Angel.  The First decided to reassert itself.
Vash is having a bad day.  Sunspots.  Christ, Eiko, I don't have any
more ideas than you do!"  Shaking her head, Nieve jumped back over the
hood, landing awkwardly on the other side of the car before hurling
open the driver's-side door.  "Either way, we're the only ones who know
that he's in there for certain, so we've got to get to base at least to
let the others know!"

The Japanese girl stared for a moment longer, then opened the
passenger's door and jumped in the car, fastening her seat belt quickly
as Nieve gunned the engine, the ground and vehicle shuddering around
them as ice pinged off the metal roof.  "Central Dogma must have tried
to eject him, though," she noted, the engine of the car roaring to
life.  "You don't think that they would have told the others?"

Nieve paused for a moment, then spared a glance towards Eiko as she
eased her foot over the gas.  "It would mean that the pilots might not
be willing to destroy the Angel," she said as calmly as possible,
pressing down on the gas pedal and letting the wheels spin in the thin
coating of hail before the car lurched forward.  "No, I don't think
that they told the others."  She bit her lower lip, something coming in
to her mind.  "If I was in charge, I don't think I would have either."

                                  ]++[

Her eyes were focused, muscles tensed just enough to spring in any
direction that was required, standard-issue rifle trained in the
direction of the Angel's approach.  A wireframe display of the
surrounding area and the Angel's position had been brought up on her
system per her request, her AT Field was fully deployed, and her eyes
flicked across the darkened ice-speckled landscape, swinging the barrel
of the rifle ever so slightly, ready to move further in an instant if
it proved necessary.  Breaths came quickly for Niobe, LCL swirling
gently over the yellow plugsuit and dark skin, blue eyes completely
focused, her mind refusing to give any quarter to the myriad
distractions swirling around her.  "I won't fail," she whispered,
determined that she would destroy the Angel no matter what, that she
had to do right this time.  "I won't fail."

A red dot flashed on the small wireframe display, indicating that the
Angel was getting closer, but while Niobe was tense she wasn't stupid,
and she resisted the urge to simply let out a mad hail of fire if she
wasn't certain.  "Thirteenth Angel moving within visual range," she
announced, loud enough for it to be heard over the radio, the blood of
the LCL dulling her nose as she moved slightly to one side, presenting
less of a target profile to the Angel.  Waiting carefully, she tensed
the muscles in her legs, watching the black beast move forward, then
waited for the targeting system of her Eva to center on the beast,
letting the crosshairs flash acknowledgement before she fired off a
quick burst from her rifle.

Before the rounds had even struck the beast, Niobe had launched herself
into motion, and by the time that the shells exploded against the
surface of the AT field she was already to one side of the beast,
spitting another round before rolling to the side and firing again,
black power cord trailing behind her but nearly invisible against the
darkened sky.  The Angel was aware of her now, but she had no time to
contemplate that, flipping above the beast and unleashing another burst
from the weapon before landing, spitting a burst, then rolling
backwards and pushing herself behind a building.  It had gone about as
well as she'd expected, and she flung herself towards the nearest
obstacle large enough to hide the yellow form of her Eva.

Listening in wait for just a moment, she heard the familar explosion of
the beast's energy blast, something she'd expected to occur simply from
the her experience with the other humanoid Angels.  The blast tore
apart the buildings and streets around where she'd stood moments
earlier, but she spared the fact only a moment's thought, focusing
instead on firing a quick round off towards the Angel once again, then
moving swiftly between the buildings, keeping her head down, her mind
focused, her ears listening to the sounds of the Angel's movements
instead of her own.  Her father had taught her well, and as she sprang
upwards and over, she heard the sound of a blast exploding where she'd
stood nearly a minute before, an eternity to her.  More bullets spat
from the muzzle of her rifle before she landed, the octagonal pattern
of the AT field rippling outwards as the bullets impacted.

Rolling to one side, Niobe launched herself again, not allowing herself
a spare second to contemplate, knowing that she had no such thing, the
Angel blasting the space that she'd been in a minute prior once again,
obviously lost in the sea of rapid movements that she was making.  She
spat another burst at the beast, feeling the ice spattering against her
machine's back, focusing instead on the sensation of the ground giving
beneath her feet as she landed, raking another blast towards the
beast's feet before springing away once again.

She was making no progress, and she knew that as the confused Angel let
out another blast of energy, but she also knew that it was the only way
to get it safely disabled.  Confuse it, neutralize its AT field, then
destroy it.  Ryo had been too predictable, and she remebered Nieve's
warning to her as the two of them had been flying towards the Eighth
Angel, and she couldn't help but smile as she rolled out from behind
her cover, spat a quick blast at the Angel, then rolled away, knowing
the it was being thrown off balance as she once again felt the ground
firm beneath her feet.  She also knew, however, that as soon as it
began staggering she would be revealed, and with a quick twitch of her
leg muscles she sent her machine hurtling away from her position,
towards another foothill for cover, then moving faster to spring back
into another position.  Smirking, she landed amongst another cluster of
buildings, finally feeling confident that she would be able to destroy
the Angel.

Then the world exploded around her, a flare of energy that she hadn't
expected erupting against her AT Field and sending the Eva's field into
an eruption of octagonal ripples as her machine fell backwards.  She
had been certain she was moving quickly enough, that she had done
everything right, but she knew as the Eva scraped to a halt that she
had done something long, if nothing else than simply by letting the
Angel bait her into a false sense of security.  One hand remained fixed
on the rifle, turning it towards the Angel and spitting a wide spray as
she rose back to her feet with her other hand.  Her AT field had held
up, and that meant that she still had one advantage left, that she
hadn't been taken out.

No sooner had she gotten to her feet than the Angel was coming at her,
but she gritted her teeth and flipped away, distantly aware of the
black cord of the power feed fluttering behind her.  The Angel lunged
clumsily towards her position a moment before, but its head immediately
followed her path, and she snarled at the thought that it was mocking
her, wishing that she could see its face through the hail of debris,
smoke and ice from the sky.  Her rifle let out another burst of
firepower as she landed roughly, her feet sending up another cloud of
dust, the power cord slamming to the ground behind her.  She had never
stopped to consider it for a moment, had known it was there only
distantly, but suddenly she realized that she should have been more
attentive, that she'd done something wrong by letting it be.

As she watched, the Angel smiled broadly, then reached down and grabbed
the power cord, shooting a sinister grin towards Niobe.  Niobe's heart
fell out of her chest, and feeling herself panic she pulled down the
trigger on the rifle as hard as she could, letting the rifle spit out
round after round, octagons exploding around the black Angel and
cloaking its face as the beast's muscles surged and tore through the
cord, a few sparks flying out of the severed end as Niobe saw the power
countdown pop up on her screen.

Her breath ran deep into her lungs, the swirling blood-LCL filling her
lungs as she flicked empty with the rifle.  She knew that she still had
a chance, and throwing the rifle aside she adopted a fighting stance,
watching as the Angel lunged towards her, not bothering to draw her
prog knife as the beast slammed against her AT Field.  There was a
brief moment that she felt the field beginning to buckle inward, her
mind quickly refreshing all of her hours of practice with her father,
then her right fist slammed out through the field and into the chest of
the Angel.

The next few moments were a blur for Niob, a blur of thrusts and slams,
her legs gyrating about, hands slamming into the black skin of the
Angel, her eyes moving too quickly to take in the scenery to get a good
view of the Angel or the countdown of her internal battery.  Her entire
world became a smooth flow of lethal action, one heel slamming into the
Angel's head followed by another, a quick punch to the chest followed
by a knee in the midsection and a rough backhand, smooth motion and
deadly intent.  Finally, the Angel fell to the ground as she punched it
hard with one hand, her other retireving the prog knife at long last
and preparing to slam it home.

Without hesitation borne of any kind of pain, the beast blocked her
knife, holding her arms just far enough away from its head, her eyes
finally having a chance to take in the structure of EVA-03.  She
couldn't help but feel some minor shock, but she forced herself to
ignore it, the pressure she leveled against the knife unrelenting as
she felt the Angel's arms giving slowly.  It was still smiling, and she
couldn't fathom why the beast would be greeting its demise with a smile
as she pushed against its grip, struggled to destroy it.

With a sudden click, the camera view shut off, and Niobe's eyes widened
as she glanced down at the battery counter to see her power reading a
straight line of zeroes.  "No," she gasped, her hands clutching tightly
against the handrests, thrusting them back and forth out of disbelief.
"No.  No, no, NO!  I have to kill it!  I have to kill it!"  She
screamed, the salt of the LCL stinging against her tongue, her hands
aching as she tried with more and more force to slam the handrests
about, hoping that the machine would activate.  It did no such thing,
instead simply falling to one side, her body shuddering slightly
against the impact of her fall.  "No.  NO!  NO!"

Niobe felt her body go numb as she heard the sound of the Angel
storming away, her body curling up into a fetal position.  She knew
that Joseph would be disappointed with her, but more importantly she
knew that Ryo would be disappointed with her, that she'd made it nearly
to the goal and then had proceeded to fail completely.  Tears seeped
from her eyes, and she pulled her knees closer against her chest,
feeling nothing but revulsion towards herself, the salty liquid
swirling about her stinging against her eyes.

                                  ]++[

"EVA-05 has fallen," came the grim announcement from Makoto, sounding
as though he'd delivered a death sentence to the African girl sitting
within the machine.  Neil could tell that things had not gone even
remotely according to plan, and he couldn't help but tense his hands
again, feeling only vague guilt for being happy that he would have a
chance to take on the Angel himself.  He couldn't help but be angry
with the beast, knowing that it had more than likely killed Misato, and
his anger flooded through his body, sharpening the bloody taste of the
LCL, the way that it snapped against his tongue like a razor blade.
"That means that the Angel is up to you, Neil."

"I understand," snapped Neil, leveling the rifle in the direction that
he knew the Angel was coming from, his targeting sensors flashing on
the screen as he watched the black form begin to come over the horizon,
his eyes narrowed and his grip firm.  There was no question in his mind
that he would utterly destroy the beast as soon as he could, that he
would tear it apart with all the enthusiasm he could muster.  He barely
even wanted the rifle, but he could feel his guilt kicking in again as
he watched the silhouette begin to come into focus, his finger flexing
against the trigger gently.  "Anything important that I should know
beforehand?"

"The Angel is EVA-03," announced Gendou, drawing the gazes of all
within the command center including Fuyutsuki and Kaji, as though the
man had gone completely mad.  His expression remained fixed, mouth
hidden behind his tented hands, only the vaguest hints of a smile
playing across his lips and obscured by the shadows.  "It was infected
with a parisitic Angel on the test site, from what our scanners have
been able to determine."  He paused for a moment, letting the smile
vanish as though it had never been there, certain that none of the
staff had seen the smile.  "The pilot was not in the Eva at the time.
It is uninhabited."

Neil couldn't help but have his eyes widen at the sudden revelation,
unsure of exactly how to react to the thought of what had doubtlessly
happened to Vash.  He took a deep breath of LCL, feeling it simply heap
upon the list of the Angel's victims in his mind, his anger burning
brighter as he watched the black goliath lumber towards him, his AT
Field roaring to life about him as the demented grin on the other
machine's face became clear.  One more deep breath of LCL sank down his
lungs in a thick mass, then he yanked down on the trigger of the rifle,
determined to destroy the monstrosity before him, to tear it apart with
his bare hands if at all possible.

Across the fields of white buildings, the bullets screamed out,
slamming into the Angel's field as ever Eva's weapon had, the patterns
rippling outwards as the former Eva unit loped towards its purple
counterpart.  Neil skidded aside as the beast snatched at him, but it
casually twisted its arm around as though it had no joints, the
twisting rope of an arm grasping the rifle and then tearing it from
Neil's hand with a flick of the wrist.  "Damn it," muttered Neil, the
guilt from his anger rising within him once again as he deployed the
prog knife, watching the black machine's arm restore itself as it
turned towards him again, flecked with ice from the ongoing hailstorm.

His grip on the knife tightened, and Neil lurched towards the Angel,
tearing the AT Field of the black monster simply with his motion,
sending his body crashing into the other machine.  For a moment, he
thought he saw a trace of concern on the black Eva's face, something
protruding from its back, as though one of the other two had managed to
leave a prog knife stuck in the beast, and Neil hesitated, giving the
Angel the chance to shove him away, letting his purple machine tumble
backwards through a cluster of buildings, landing in an awkward stop
near one of the various hills of Tokyo-3.

Neil forced himself back to his feet, hands grabbing the narrow road
along the side of the hill, crushing the guardrail in the hands of the
massive machine, something tickling at the back of his mind.  He stared
outwards at the Angel as it approached him, the cityscape framed by the
falling hail, and suddenly it struck him why he felt as though he
recognized the area, why he thought he knew where he was.  "This is
where Eiko and I met," he muttered, flicking his eyes back towards the
hill again.  "This is the hill."  His head turned back towards the
area, seeing the way that the landscape had changed, as though he was
now viewing the same scene in a nightmare of blood and hail, the black
and purple ghoul of EVA-03 disturbingly close to his own machine.

Then the black machine moved with the speed of something possesed, one
arm extending to grab Neil's wrist and twist the prog knife out of his
hand, the other slamming against his neck with the force of a
steamroller.  Neil felt the electric surge of shock, the LCL tightening
against his neck as he released the knife, then felt the tightness
around his neck grow even tighter.  Gritting his teeth, he reached his
machine's arms up to grab the wrists of the black beast, trying to
force its arms open, to get back to the business of ripping it apart.

In the command center, the technicians all turned their head as they
heard the sound of the elevator hissing open, and a unanimous shocked
look came over their faces as Nieve and Eiko dashed onto the level of
the center, their clothes still on, dampened slightly by the hail that
had fallen around them.  "How did you two get up here?" asked Makoto,
not sounding angry so much as surprised, while Gendou looked down with
obvious disapproval.  "The entrance to this level is supposed to be
restricted to administration -"

"Come on, Makoto, I grew up with this facility.  I probably know more
about how these things work than -you- do."  Nieve strode towards the
microphone defiantly, her eyes flicking up briefly towards the main
screen to see Neil trying to pulling the black Eva's hands apart from
his neck, in obvious pain.  Not even sparing a moment to glance up
towards Gendou, she grabbed the microphone and yanked it towards her
mouth.  "Neil!  Neil, listen to me!  Vash is still inside that
machine!  Don't destroy it!"

Nieve's voice cut through Neil's thoughts like a thunderbolt, his mind
suddenly taken aback with the realization that Vash was inside the
beast lying before him, that what he was staring at was the face of
Vash within the Eva, his fellow pilot, another Child.  Staring at the
grimacing visage of EVA-03, he remembered the first time that Vash had
hit him, the taste of blood in his mouth, the way that the other boy
had looked at Eiko.  He remembered hating the other boy, remembered how
he'd assaulted him simply for speaking to Eiko, the way that he'd
wanted to destroy the boy.  He could remembere every look of contempt
the boy had ever given him, remember the surge of anger he'd felt at
learning that Misato had been at the test site, the way he'd wanted to
kill the person responsible.

Gendou sighed as EVA-01's struggles seemed to weaken, the purple
machine suddenly letting its opponent gain more grount and constrict
its grip even more tightly around its neck.  "Someone please remove the
Second and Fifth Children from the command center where they should not
have been allowed in at all," he snapped, perturbed at the sudden
perversion of his otherwise flawless orchestration.  "Maya, prepare the
dummy plug system for EVA-01, and activate it as soon as it comes fully
on-line."

"That won't be necessary," hissed Neil within the cockpit of the Eva,
blood-red rage seeping through his eyes and buring in his retinas, his
rage uncontrollable as he stared at the black machine in front of him.
His arms surged with a sudden burst of strength, a ferocious power
rising within him as he yanked apart the arms of the beast in front of
him, the Angel seeming genuinely surprised at the turn of events as its
prey refused to go quietly.  Neil knew only that he was enraged, that
the only thing that existed in his eyes was anger, his other thoughts
and memories drifting away, even the reason for his anger becoming
nothing as he tugged on the beast's wrists and yanked it forward, then
hurled it into the mess of buildings of the city.

In the control center, all that could be seen by the two girls was the
purple form of EVA-01, white flecks streaking through the sky behind
it, the black goliath beginning to slowly rise besides it with deadly
intent.  Both machines were soon standing opposite one another, and the
entire control room had entered a sort of collective silence, nobody
daring to make a noise for fear of what it might mean for the two
opponenes staring one another down.  "He knows now," muttered Eiko,
simply staring up at the screen with Nieve.  "What is he doing?  Why
isn't he trying to get him free?"

Neil might have been able to distantly hear Eiko speaking, but his
thoughts were elsewhere entirely, lost in a sea of rage and ferocity,
hands clenching tightly enough to whiten his knuckles as he waited for
the Angel to move.  He could only think of Vash, the boy's contemptuous
expression, the way that Eiko talked of him, the mere thought that Vash
had gotten an opportunity to touch the girl sexually.  Sex and violence
flooded through the boy's mind, and as he watched the black monstrosity
before him he felt himself losing control, his machine lunging towards
the other EVA with lethal intent, a howl escaping his lips as he moved.

The boy's movements were clumsy, borne out of anger instead of careful
planning, and the beast stepped aside lightly before lashing out
towards Neil, letting an arm snake out without hesitation.  Neil felt
the other grip his arm, but ignored it for a secon, then tugged hard on
the connection between the two of them, grabbing on to the arm with his
fre hand and pulling the whole thing like a gigantic towline.  The
beast went sailing over his head, landing roughtly in a patch of
buildings, sending up a cloud of debris and hail with its impact.  Neil
barely even noticed, deployed his prog knife and lunging towards the
beast with another howl, feeling the Eva's mind wrapping around him,
complementing his anger, almost seeming to feed off it.

Both of the goliaths collided with a loud crash and Neil drove his prog
knife hard into the shoulder of the black Eva, letting it wince at the
unexpected pain.  His mind was still filled with images of Vash, and
with every passing moment the Eva seemed to feed him another one, one
more reason to hate the boy, to want him to pay for what he had done.
He had hurt Neil.  He had hurt Eiko.  He had killed Misato.  He was
wrong.  He was bad.  He deserved to be torn limb from limb, to have the
life crushed from him like an insect, to realize the power that Neil
wielded within the massive purple Eva.  EVA-03 raised an arm towards
the purple machine's face, but Neil ignored it, swatting it away and
then shoving the entire Angel to the ground, ignoring the prog knife
entirely.  He didn't want or need weapons.  He wanted to feel that same
pain from the other boy, the sort of wonderful bloody sensation that he
knew could only come from letting his hands dive into the blood of his
foe.

Without warning, the black machine's legs lurched upwards and wrapped
around Neil's upper torso, then yanked down and sent Neil hard into the
pavement, his anger only redoubling as the black beast let him feel the
impact of the road, the feel of stone cracking about his face.  It was
painful, and he could taste blood on his lips, though whether it was
LCL or truly blood he could not be sure.  He'd always hated the taste
of the liquid in his mouth, but now it seemed comforting, like a
mother's milk, like something comforting coming from within the dark
machine around him.  The Eva wanted him to be angry, he knew it.  And,
despite everything he thought about who he was, he found himself
agreeing with the beast.

"EVA-01 has shut off all contact with base!" shouted Makoto, his voice
obviously panicked as the black form of EVA-03 began to rise to its
feet along with EVA-01, both machines once again seeming to stare one
another down.  "We've lost all feeds!  Communication, synch
information - everything!"

Gendou let out a miniscule smile, masked by deep shadows, as the girls
on the level below stared at the screen below.  "He can't do that,"
hissed Nieve, certain that something had to be malfunctioning in the
machine, knowing full well that there was no way to completely cut off
any of the Evas.  "The entry plugs aren't designed for that.  They're
like open books.  Heck, early tests of EVA-00 didn't have enough
shielding to keep anyone within a fifty-mile radius from having access
to the results.  These things are supposed to be constant -beacons- of
information, that can't just -shut- -off-!"

"It could have gone berserk," offered Maya, her figners flying across
the keyboard in front of her in an effort to try and re-establish some
line of contact with the purple Eva.  "We only received trace amounts
of data from the machine the first time it bersekred, and the Twelfth
Angel incident completely shut off our links to EVA-01."  She paused,
trying to keep herself calm, the way that she expected Ritsuko would
have handled herself, her heart sinking slightly at the thought that
she might no longer have the help of Ritsuko's guidance.  "But the
readings we got from the machine before this... they didn't seem to be
in line with those of a berserk."

Nieve and Eiko exhchanged a quick look, then stared back up to see the
two Evas launching at one another, the two titans clashing against the
nightmarish backdrop of the city.  EVA-01's eyes remained their same
dull white as the Angel's eyes flashed a quick burst of yellow, a flare
of energy erupting around Neil and sending him skidding backwards.
Neil remained standing, retireving the other prog knife from where it
had landed and then rushing at the beast in front of him again,
slashing madly at the black goliath's chest armor, his movements swift
and angry, sacrificing some level of grace for simple power.  Nieve
wathced as the boy continued to drive against the Angel, wondering if
there was something more important that she'd guessed that had happened
inside of the Twelfth Angel that he hadn't told her.

"Like he's jealous," she whispered to herself, watching Neil stab the
prog knife into the chest of the black Eva, the Angel-possesed machine
roaring in pain before shoving EVA-01 into a skid along the ground.
"He's acting like a jealous husband."  She fell silent, flicking her
eyes back towards Eiko, wondering what she didn't know about Neil,
wondering how she'd let things get so far out of control.  The chill
and pain that she'd felt earlier returned, her memory snapping back to
the painful realization that he'd left her alone in their bed.  It was
disturbing to a point that she couldn't begin to explain, and as she
watched the boy move on the screen something told her he was in
complete control of his actions, that she was being given the
opportunity to see exactly who he really was.

EVA-01 rose to its feet swiftly, then lunged towards the black machine,
grabbing the beast's arms and grappling with it, the entire control
room remaining silent as the hail slammed against the two golems.  EVA-
01 took on a more and more demonic appearance, silhouetted by dark and
ice, arms straining against the black monstrosity that was once its
ally, then sending the other machine falling to the ground roughly with
a twist of its wrists.  A cloud of pavement, debris, and ice flew into
the air as the black machine fell to the ground, but the purple beast
surprised everyone by slamming down atop the black beast, letting its
body weigh the other down, pinning the other Eva against the ground.

"He's immobilizing it!" shouted Nieve, stepping forward, feeling as
though she was trying to excuse the boy's actions more than anything,
feeling more nervous than she could remember.  She was hopeful, and as
she stared at the scene on the monitor, the black Eva struggling
unsuccessfully against Neil's grip, she felt certain that she'd gotten
it right, that she knew what Neil was doing.  "He's going to remove
Vash's plug in a second!"  She stared, watching Neil on the screen,
knowing that she understood him, her entire emotional dilema feeling as
though it had been poured into the scene on the main screen.

Nothing changed for a moment on the main screen, the black Eva pinned
flat on the ground, the purple counterpart holding it down forcefully,
clutching the arms of the beast tightly.  Then a massive tearing noise
filled the air, and everyone watched as EVA-01 ripped EVA-03's right
forearm out of its socket, blood gushing forth from the wound as Neil
threw the arm aside.  The Angel spasmed beneath him, but before the
other arm could even try to attack Neil had already taken the liberty
of tearing that arm free as well, the blood from the wounds spattering
slightly against the purple frame of the Eva.

Silence reigned inside of the command center for a moment as Neil
paused, then without another moment of hesitation slammed both of his
hands down against the beast's shoulders, happily crushing the
shoulders beneath his hands, another gout of blood jetting out as the
room filled with the noise of cracking bone.  EVA-01 became further
coated in blood as it contined moving, its right hand grabbing the
lower jaw of the howling Angel, the purple machine staring down at the
beast mercilessly, hatefully, the Angel looking at him with pleading
eyes.  Ignoring it, he ripped off the beast's lower jaw, tossing the
body part aside.

There were no more words, but Neil did not relent, proceeding to reach
down and rip off the chest armor of the beast, tossing it aside with
vigor, letting it scutter along the streets of Tokyo-3 before he
reached up to the Angel's head.  Both hands closed with deadly force
around the head, and the Eva's eyes flared briefly before he continued
to tear into the beast beneath him, letting his hands sink into the 
now-exposed skin of the black machine, ripping out mechanical units and
body organs with vigor, tossing both indiscriminately.  Blood flew
everywhere from the gigantic Eva, spattering the white buildings and
EVA-01, organs slapping against everything near with a wet squishing
noise.

Maya vomited loudly as the purple machine continued to rip its opponent
apart, armor and organs tossed aside as equals, the hands of the Eva
closing vise-like and ripping the black beast apart as though it was a
biology dissection.  Both Nieve and Eiko could only stare in horror at
the nightmare of the situation, the blood that seemed to seep out to
cover every conceivable surface, organs falling around like a corona
from a horror movie, Neil's only face to the two girls the stark and
emotionless grimace of the Eva.  The entire world seemed to drift away
for Nieve, and for reasons she couldn't exactly put into words she felt
as though she'd been violated, as though she had made a horrible
mistake the night that she had let Neil make love to her.

In an instant, the world snapped back into focus as she realized that
Neil had finished gutting EVA-03, that there was simply nothing left of
the black monstrosity, only a few haphazard bones and armor shards and
one very important lump of spine.  Though Nieve had only seen quick
glances of the internal structure of an Eva, she knew that it was the
portion that housed the entry plug.  She watched with horror as Neil
carefully brushed away the ashen remnants of the Angelic coating around
the entry plug, withdrwaing the white cylinder with a care that seemed
impossible after his brutal actions against the Angel.  "He's rescuing
him," breathed Eiko, sounding vindicated.  "It's going to be all 
right."

"No," whispered Nieve, feeling a tear begin to drift down her cheek,
knowing without having to see anything that something would go wrong,
that both she and Eiko would not get the happy ending they wanted.
"This isn't a dream.  This is a nightmare."

Time stood still for a second, the hand of EVA-01 holding the entry
plug gently, letting it rest upon its palm with admirable care.  Then
the horrible sound of crushing metal filled the room like a death knell
as Neil closed his fist mercilessly, the entry plug twisting and
crumpling and spilling LCL, crushed in the Eva's hand like a roll of
paper.  Eiko screamed at the sight, but EVA-01 seemed not to notice,
drawing itself up to its full height and giving the wreckage of the
entry plug one last squeeze before casting the mangled mess heedlessly
towards one of the black machine's gutted organs.

Eiko's howl of agony filled the room as Maya took the opportunity to
vomit again, the rest of the room shocked into silence by the events.
Nieve couldn't move, fixed in place, tears streaming down her cheeks,
horror written firmly in her eyes as she wondered what she had been a
part of, what horror she'd given herself to.  "Thirteenth Angel
destroyed," choked Makoto, distantly aware of a beeping on his display,
waiting for a moment before bringing up the new display.  "The... the
staff at the testing site has been recovered.  Misato and Ritsuko are
both fine."

"Prepare a recovery team for the Evas on the surface," announced Gendou
flatly, his voice echoing in Nieve's ears as her world dissolved into a
blurry haze of tears.  She wanted nothing more than to undo her past,
and as she stared at the screen before her she felt herself spiraling
down a dark abyss, her heart rending itself in two.  It was a nightmare
of universal proportions, an experience made unbearable by the fact
that she knew she had no chance of awakening, only of living out a new
horror that she knew was beyond her ability to cope.

                                  ]++[

Outro: Neon Epoch Evangelion is based off of -Shin Seiki Evangelion- by
GAINAX and company.  It is not intended to be a straightforward fanfic,
but it is building off the work of others, and as such it is done with
the utmost respect for the original works and their authors.
Basically, even though this is an original work, it's based off the
work of others, and if you read this, you should go to see the original.

Special thanks to all of the real Children - you know who you are.

Extra special thanks to Joe Augulis for his consultation on the
Japanese portions of the story.  He might not know much Japanese, but
that's more than I know.

Copyright 2002 Eliot Lefebvre.

NEXT EPISODE:
             The face of a murderer.
             The face of a monster.
             The face of a savior.
NEON EPOCH EVANGELION 18: DREAD COUNTENANCE
"Niobe was right.  God damn me, she was completely right."

                                  ]++[

We only have a little time in our lives to waste.  Make the most of it.
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