Subject: [Eva][FanFic] Neon Epoch Evangelion: Episode 23
Date: Wed, 29 Jan 2003 16:17:23 +0000 (UTC)
From: eltf@hotmail.com (Eliot Lefebvre)

I'll take "Pre-Story Warnings" for a buck, Alex:

This fanfic is an original take on GAINAX's "Shin Seiki Evangelion."
It contains alternative characters, plots, and a different overriding
internal logic.  It is intended, from the beginning, to be different.
This includes different Children and different histories.  In short: if
the mere thought of someone other than Shinji in the cockpit of EVA-01
makes you queasy, you are in -entirely- the wrong place.  Any and all
flames stemming from this alteration will be mocked mercilessly.  You
have been warned.

I'd just like to note how much I like Google Groups forcing me to log
in every other time I visit, no matter how emphatically I tell the
system to remember my log in.  "I'll stay logged in," I say.  "It's
okay, really.  Nobody else uses my computer.  I promise."

"All right," they say.  Then they log me out.

Of course, since Google Groups are actually functional more or less all
the time, this really isn't a major complaint so much as it is an
incessant nitpick.  I mean, after all, it's reliably functional -
that's more than I can say for most of the online world.

                                  ]++[

               ]+ ELECTRONIC TRANSCENDENCE PRODUCTIONS +[
                                presents

                         ]+ NEON       EPOCH +[
                   ]+ E  V  A  N  G  E  L  I  O  N +[

                   ]+ EPISODE 23:  AFTER THE FLOOD +[

                     By Eliot "Lostfactor" Lefebvre

             Based off of "Shin Seiki Evangelion" by GAINAX

                                  ]++[

Now the springs of the deep and the floodgates of the heavens had been
closed, and the rain had stopped falling from the sky.
- GENESIS 8:2

                                  ]++[

                                [ 2009 ]

Gendou Ikari's eyes looked over the two children rather critically,
hidden behind the reflective lenses of his glasses.  They could have
almost been twins, both the same age, pale white skin accented by thin
blue hair and red eyes, the same slightly disturbingly blank expression
on their faces.  After a moment of staring, he turned towards
Fuyutsuki, his own expression perfectly flat.  "He is fully intact?"

"It took time, but yes, he's been correctly duplicated," replied
Fuyutsuki with a nod, glancing back down towards the Children.
Gendou's office cast them in an odd red light, making them look almost
demonic from the red light that shone from both floor and ceiling.  "It
was a more intensive project than we've had to undergo before.  We
almost needed to recreate Naoko's genetic material completely."  He
paused.  "SEELE is curious about the death of Naoko, incidentally.
They haven't confronted you directly, but they're suspecting that they
were unaware of something."

"They have good reason to be suspicious," replied Gendou with a thin
smirk, turning back towards the two children and kneeling in front of
them.  "We should have been faster with Rei, Kozou.  We should have
made sure that they had no time to find an alternative Child.  They've
been suspicious of her since we announced her placement."

Kozou said nothing immediately, simply stared down at the children,
almost struggling to see some traces of Naoko in their faces, something
that would hint at her role in their life.  It had been some time since
the woman's death, but thoughts of her were still haunting him, and the
continuation of the project despite it had felt more than a little
ghoulish.  "We've already begun the sampling necessary for the
project," he announced, drawing Gendou's attention back towards him.
"It appears that everything will work as you proposed."

"You doubted it?" asked Gendou, a thin smile crossing his face as he
stood and turned away from the children, neither of them showing the
slightest acknowledgement as he stepped towards Kozou.  "Prepare her
for the integration, as we originally planned.  Ryo will be given a
different purpose, although there's little to be done for it for the
moment."

Frowning, Kozou's eyes flicked back towards the motionless children,
still feeling on edge simply by their presence.  He had known children
their age before, and while he knew that he was hardly one for personal
contact he was certain that the seeming indifference of children so
young was reason to be disturbed.  "Are you certain that SEELE won't
find any of this out?" asked Kozou, turning towards the other man as
Gendou stepped towards his desk, knowing that he would be ridiculed
slightly for his nervousness but not particularly concerned about it.
"We're running directly against them with this plan.  If they notice
anything about what we're doing with Rei, then it's over."

"Smoke and mirrors, Dr. Fuyutsuki.  They will have no reason to notice
Rei, because she will not be in the picture until absolutely
necessary."  He paused, rifling through the papers on his desk before
finding a slim manilla folder, removing it and handing it over to
Kozou.  "Besides, you'll notice that the ultimate plan has more than
enough leeway to obscure the truth as necessary.  SEELE is all too
happy to have all of the Evas functional.  I'm certain that they'll
overlook the procedures involved for at least long enough to let us
complete our goals."

Kozou took the folder almost reluctantly, flipping it open and paging
through the leafs of paper within.  "SEELE could decide to investigate
one of NERV's production facilities," he offered, his eyes buried in
the sheets of paper before him, scanning the lines and soaking up the
bulk of the information as quickly as possible.  "We'll have to be
careful about it."  He paused.  "It's not what Yui envisioned when she
first put these theories forth, you know."

"Of course I know," replied Gendou, the slightest hint of bitterness
creeping into his tone as his gaze turned back towards the two children
standing before him.  "I don't suppose that she would approve of many
of the choices that I'm making.  But it's the principle that matters,
not the actual practice."  He paused, then turned towards Kozou again.
"Didn't you ever teach an ethics class at university?  Can you honestly
say that we're doing the wrong thing?"

"No," replied Kozou, shaking his head and sighing as he stared at Rei
and Ryo again.  He wished that he could have come up with some
alternative to the children, not looking forward to the contact that he
would inevitably have with the pair.  "I simply wish that we weren't
building our fortress on the graves of others."

"We did not kill Naoko, Dr. Fuyutsuki.  She chose her own death."  He
paused, staring at Ryo as though the boy would somehow understand the
necessity of the woman's absence.  "And the end result is perfect.  Ryo
and Rei will complement one another perfectly, one soul and one pilot,
the perfect 'vessel.'"  A smile once again began to cross his lips.  "I
look forward to the day that they meet again."

                                  ]++[

                                [ 2016 ]

Rei sat on one of the benches outside of the locker rooms, her red eyes
darting about the pages of the book in her hand, the cover and spine a
solid black that kept Neil from having anything but the absolute
vaguest idea what she was reading.  She had been sitting in place for
as long as Neil could remember, even before he had sat down and began
waiting for Nieve.  He didn't have to be tested for once, but Nieve
did, and that meant a long stretch of waiting with nothing happening,
something that he was less than enthusiastic about.

He'd hoped that he could strike up some kind of conversation with Rei,
but each time that he'd looked towards her she had been utterly
engrossed in her book, barely even seeming to notice his presence.  It
was daunting, a sensation that he remembered from his first meeting
with Ryo outside of the Eva hangar, a silent intimidation that he
doubted either of them had even tried to manifest.  Sighing, he flicked
his eyes away from her down the teal-gray corridors of the building,
trying to find something else to focus on, anything to distract his
attention temporarily.

A few more moments passed with absolutely nothing happening, Rei
sitting and reading and Neil growing bored, even the guilt he felt from
the previous night unable to sustain itself in the vacuum of events.
Finally, he leaned towards Rei, clearing his throat and hoping to
attract some of her attention.  She seemed unaffected, so he cleared
his throat again.  "What are you reading?" he asked at length, growing
frustrated with her apparent ignorance of his presence.

It was still a moment or two before the girl answered him, her eyes
still flicking along the pages before she placed the book down primly
on her lap and looked towards Neil.  "A book on military tactics and
fighting styles in a single-unit context."  Her voice was flat, almost
seeming resentful of the question, and she stared at Neil a second
longer before turning back to the book.

Smiling, Neil edged himself slightly closer to the girl, unsure of
exactly why her apparent resent bothered him but certain that he wanted
to do something about it.  He remembered how out of place he had felt
on his first few days in Tokyo-3, and while he knew that he'd had the
unique experience of piloting EVA-01 at the time he doubted the
sensations were that different.  "You interested in that stuff?" he
asked, shifting his weight forward.

"No," replied Rei, her voice still flat, this time not even bothering
to put the book down as her eyes continued to move across the pages.
"Commander Ikari told me to read it while I waited for my
synchronization tests today.  He claimed that it would be useful
knowledge for my first mission in an Eva."

"Oh," replied Neil, feeling a bit deflated as he stared at the girl,
her attention remaining completely on the book in front of her.
Another few moments of silence set in, neither of the Children saying a
word, the only noise the occasional turning of the page by Rei.
However, Neil was determined to cheer the girl up at least slightly,
and he knew full well that it was possible, remembering the way that
Ryo had seemed to warm over after their battle with the Fourth Angel.
"Are you enjoying it anyways, though?  I mean, even if you weren't
interested in it before, is it well written?"

Rei looked at the boy for a moment as though his question baffled her,
then looked back down at the book in her hands as she began to flick
her deep red eyes over the pages.  "It's written in English, and I have
yet to notice any grammatical inaccuracies."  She paused, flipping back
and checking another pair of pages.  "I don't notice anything wrong
with it.  That would make it a well-written book, correct?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not what I meant."  Neil sighed, rubbing his
forehead momentarily, wishing that Nieve would come out of the locker
room sooner rather than later.  "I mean, just because there's nothing
wrong with it doesn't mean it's enjoyable to read.  Do you want to keep
reading it?"

There was no answer for a second, Rei's eyes simply staring at Neil
before turning back to her book.  "Commander Ikari told me to read it,"
she said at length, her voice still perfectly flat as she turned back
to the volume, apparently uninterested in Neil's attempts at
conversation.  "I need to continue reading."

Blinking, Neil stared at the girl for a moment, trying to figure out
anything else to get her to speak, something to make the conversation
something more than one-sided.  "Okay, we won't talk about the book,"
he said, trying to keep the flow of speech at least relatively steady.
"What about your family?  Ryo barely even seemed to recognize you, but
you're practically identical twins.  Have you just not spent much time
together or something?"

"Ryo and I have had different upbringings," replied Rei, flipping the
page and then summarily ignoring the boy's presence, her expression
making it unclear if she'd noticed him at all.

Neil waited, expecting something more from her for a moment before he
realized that she had said all she planned to.  "What happened to your
parents?" he asked, knowing that he was grasping at straws but still
determined.  "Did they die in the Second Impact?  ...no, they couldn't
have, then you and Ryo wouldn't be here.  What -did- happen to them?"

"I don't know," replied Rei, her eyes still riveted to the book despite
her professed nonchalance about its presence.  "They died."  She paused
for a moment, then flipped a page once again, her gaze remaining cold
and apparently unconcerned.

Something about her speech set something off inside the back of Neil's
mind, the way that she so casually asserted the death of her parents.
He could remember dealing with people who had lost relatives in the
Second Impact or soon afterwards, a fact that most children born after
the Impact could attest to.  Though exact emotions had varied, none of
them had been able to speak of their lost relatives without some amount
of emotion creeping into their speech.  He had never heard someone
speak of them as blankly as Rei did, devoid of any trace of emotion, as
though she could care less about the answers to the question.  "Don't
you know anything about them?" he asked, leaning further forward.  "I
mean... don't you feel anything about them?"

"What about you?" asked Rei, her voice still quiet as she turned
another page in her book, her eyes never flicking towards Neil.  "Your
father is dead.  Do you feel anything about him?"

The boy's fists clenched involuntarily at the mention of his father
even as the back of his mind reminded him that he hadn't expected Rei
to know that.  He knew that Misato had been privy to all of his
history, but he hadn't expected that the same would hold true for the
girl sitting across from him.  "Yes," he said after a moment, trying
his best to fight off the memory of his father.  "You have to feel
something about your parents when they die.  They're too much a part of
your life not to."

"Do you have to?" replied Rei, her eyes remaining fixed on her book.
Her voice still hadn't changed inflection in any meaningful way,
something that was beginning to send a prickling sensation up the back
of Neil's neck.  Even Ryo had given him some indications that he was
feeling something, even if they were only the most distant of
emotions.  "Or are you just told that you have to?"

"Forget it.  I wasn't asking about my parents."  Neil shook his head,
taking a deep breath, trying to figure out what about the girl was
nagging at the back of his mind, what it was about her mannerisms that
tugged at a memory.  "Where have you been living, then?"

Rei said nothing in response, simply reading her book dilligently and
ignoring Neil, apparently in no mood to attempt to continue the
conversation.  Neil glanced back and forth down the hall, then stood
and stepped over to Rei's bench, sitting down beside her and looking
towards her.  She still made no effort to acknowledge his presence, and
Neil sighed as he edged slightly closer.  "Rei, I know what it's like
to be new here.  I'm really trying my hardest to -"

The locker room door hissed open, and Neil's eyes flew towards the door
even as Rei continued to ignore the world around her.  Nieve had
finished dresssing again, loose black shorts that hung down to her
knees and a sleeveless green blouse with a low-cut collar.  She paused
for a moment, seemingly surprised to see Neil sitting next to Rei, then
frowned, taking a decisive step forward.  "Hey, Neil," she said,
something lying beneath her voice.  "Thanks for waiting."  She paused,
then flicked her eyes towards Rei.  "What are you doing out here?"

"Reading a book," replied Rei flatly, turning a page as though to
accent her point.

Nieve's expression grew sharper, and she leaned towards Rei, obviously
trying to get the other girl's expression.  "We didn't get a chance to
properly introduce ourselves before.  I'm the Second Child, Nieve Soryu-
Leary."  She waited for a second, then her frown darkened as Rei
continued reading nonchalantly.  "Aren't you going to look at me?"

"I saw you during the introduction," replied Rei flatly, shifting her
body slightly to one side as if to catch a better angle of light.
"Please don't bother me.  I'm trying to read."

Glancing back towards Neil for a second, Nieve stepped closer to Rei,
trying to lean fully over the girl and obscure her light completely.
It was a difficult task considering Nieve's height, but she managed to
at least partially succeed at her objective as she placed her hands
squarely on her hips.  "Don't be getting any ideas about Neil, Miss
Ayanami," she said firmly, provoking a slight flush from the boy.
"He's already -got- a girlfriend, meaning -me-.  Just because you're
the new girl in town doesn't mean that you can go around having
everything you want."

"He sat over here," replied Rei flatly, shifting herself a few inches
to one side and leaning into something that resembled a decent reading
position, her eyes never deviating from the pages of her book.  "Please
leave me alone."

Nieve's eyes widened for a moment, and she flicked her eyes back
towards Neil, seemingly studying his face as though for some hint of
what was going on.  "You led him on, didn't you?" she asked, sliding to
one side and once again doing her best to loom over the girl.  "That's
what you did, I'm sure of it.  You should be ashamed of yourself,
treating someone like that."

Rei flicked her eyes up towards Nieve for the barest of moments,
letting her blank stare match with the girl's half-formed anger for a
moment before turning back towards her book, apparently unconcerned.
Nieve stood for a moment longer, staring at the girl and expecting her
to say something, but Rei remained silent, apparently content to read
in the darkness.

"Come on," said Neil at length, rising to his feet and hoping to defuse
the situation at least partially, drawing Nieve's gaze towards him.
"We should be getting home.  Misato wanted us to have the apartment
more or less cleaned up by the time that she got home, after all."

The red-haired girl glanced back and forth between Rei and Neil for a
moment, and Neil felt a new burst of guilt gnawing at his chest as he
stared at the two girls, one that he couldn't quite explain.  There was
something pained on Nieve's expression, something that he couldn't
begin to place or understand, his only definite knowledge of it the
fact that it sprang from him in some way.  He knew, distantly, that he
hadn't done anything wrong, but the doubts from the previous night
hadn't left his mind, and he felt his hands slowly clench as he waited
for what seemed like an eternity for Nieve to say something.

"All right," replied Nieve, flicking her green eyes down towards Rei
one last time before stepping towards Neil, obviously masking her
resentment.  Neil spared one last glance towards the oddly cold girl
sitting on the bench, then turned and walked away with Nieve, certain
that the answers to his questions were drifting just out of reach.

                                  ]++[

Sunlight coated Tokyo-3 like a second skin, the bright light seeming to
make the whitewashed buildings of the city gleam from within.  It was
something that Vash had seen before, something that would have given
him little pause even if he wasn't preoccupied with his thoughts, his
feet falling slowly and steadily as he walked towards his house.  He
was alone, something that would have irritated him slightly under any
circumstances but seemed particularly pointed given his train of
thought.

His father would be at home, something he knew without even bothering
to reach his house.  "Could try to get a job, Dad," the boy muttered,
scuffing his feet in the thin dirt of the sidewalk as he continued
walking, the darkening strands of his hair swinging about his head as
he walked.  Frowning, he tried to think of what his father had done
when he had still had a job, before he'd decided to spend the rest of
his life as a drunk and layabout.  It was a fuzzy memory, much like
most of the memories that Vash had of the time before his mother died.

Biting his lower lip, Vash quickened his pace slightly, remembering
when he had first heard about the woman's death, his father grief-
stricken at the thought he had lost his wife.  At the time, Vash had
only distantly understood the situation, and even after several years
his understanding remained dim, marred by the lack of coherent
information from his father.  "He just wants to drown everything in
that damn bottle," he snarled, shaking his head and forcing himself to
walk still faster.  "Every single thing that he failed at.  He's just a
drunk now."

A car whizzed past him on the other side of the street, kicking up a
small dust cloud and making the world around Vash unexpectedly hazy.
Squinting, he tried to wave the dust clear, coughing as he moved
through the cloud of dirt.  His mind almost instinctively jumped back
to the duel with Neil in his new Eva, the clouds of dirt and smoke that
had surrounded their battle, blinding them both.

The thought gave him a momentary pause, and as the cloud of dust
dissipated on the dry breeze Vash found himself standing in place,
staring off into the distance, his eyes focused just far enough away
from the sun to avoid hurting his eyes.  He had been unable to drive
the increasing sensation of loneliness from his mind, and his loss to
the purple machine had only been the most decisive of his failures, a
fitting reminder of his own shortcomings.

"Everybody's leaving," he muttered, his eyes resting on another car
driving more slowly up the road, a few bits of furniture visibly poking
out of the half-open trunk.  He allowed himself to linger for a few
seconds more, then turned and continued walking, only peripherally
aware of the area around him, thoughts still lingering on the duel
between he and Neil.  "It's just not the same any more."

"Vash!"  The call was unexpected, and it took Vash a moment to even
acknowledge it, his head turning sluggishly towards the source.
Kensuke was lightly jogging towards him, a half-worried expression on
his face, dirty blonde hair seeming to bounce with each step he took.
"Didn't think I'd see you today.  I was getting worried - I called your
house, but your dad said that you weren't home."

"I wasn't," replied Vash somewhat reluctantly, taking a moment to get
his bearings, not having even realized that he was anywhere near
Kensuke's house.  His face slowly morphed into a frown as he stepped
towards the boy's home, suspecting that something big was going on.  "I
told you that I wasn't going to be there for a while.  Why?  Is
something the..."

Kensuke's house had a prominent "For Sale" sign displayed on the front
lawn, the characters on it swimming in front of Vash's eyes as he let
his sight dart towards the driveway.  There were two cars in the
driveway, both packed nearly to capacity with furniture and boxes,
locked now and simply waiting for departure.  Vash could only stare for
a moment, disbelieving as he took a halting step forward, baffled by
the scene in front of him even as Kensuke began to approach from
behind.  "I'd meant to tell you," Kensuke offered, his voice cracking
slightly.

"You're moving away."  The words sounded unreal, the entire lawn and
house suddenly going liquid as Vash unsteadily turned to face the boy.
It took him a moment to connect any thoughts more coherent than the
simple statement of fact, the guilt on Kensuke's face not helping the
situation any.  "Wait - how can you be moving away?  I thought that
your dad was working for NERV, and you -"

"Dad got a transfer to the branch in Tokyo-2," replied Kensuke
reluctantly, casting his eyes downwards, his feet scuffing along the
thin dust of his driveway as the light glinted off his thick glasses.
"He'd been trying for a while, actually, ever since what happened with
the Twelfth Angel.  I just didn't think that he'd ever get the
transfer, that NERV was fully staffed over there."  He paused, biting
his lower lip for a second.  "People are leaving Tokyo-2, too.  They're
starting to act as though there's no safe place to be inside of Japan."

"That's -ridiculous-," snapped Vash, seizing upon the one piece of
information that he could actually deal with.  "Tokyo-3 has -us-.  It
has the Evas.  If there's any safe place to be on the planet, it's
right here."  He paused, staring at his friend's eyes as best he
could.  "Come on, Kensuke, you've got to know that, right?"  No
response.  "Right?"

The other boy shifted uncomfortably on his feet once again, and
although his mouth remained shut for a moment longer Vash had all the
answer that he needed.  "Look, Vash, I know about the Evas, and
everything.  Heck, my dad used to work in the same department.  It's
just..."  He paused for a moment, once again shifting uncomfortably as
Vash clenched his hands in frustration.  "You know.  It's just not safe
for -people- to be here."

"Right," replied Vash, unsure of exactly what was rattling through his
skull as he cast his eyes across the vehicles in the driveway,
uncertain of exactly what to think, knowing that he couldn't face
Kensuke right away.  He forced himself to breathe deeply, letting the
warmth of the sun wash over him as he examined the other boy's house.
"Of course, we'll still be here.  So I guess this is goodbye, at least
for a while."

"Hey, don't be like that.  We'll still be in touch."  Kensuke's hand
found its way to Vash's shoulder, lightly rapping against it as Vash
turned to look at his friend.  There was an awkward expression sitting
in Kensuke's eyes just behind the lenses of his glasses, as though he
knew he was lying and hoping he wouldn't be called on it.  "After all,
I've still got to whip you for what you did to me during our last
couple matches in Starcraft III.  Think you'd get off easily?"

"I don't know if I'll really have the time for games," replied Vash,
shrugging roughly and forcing Kensuke's hand away as he turned back
towards the street.  Something in the back of his head was driving him
away, drawing him towards a free space to think.  "But, yeah, mail me
your number or something.  I'll see what I can do."

"Vash?"  Kensuke's voice echoed gently against the houses surrounding
the boys, the sun flitting through the dry air as Vash stepped swiftly
back towards the sidewalk.  "Hey, Vash, come on."  The request was
ignored, not even a glance spared back in the direction of the other
boy.  "Vash, don't leave like this.  I was trying to let you know.  It
isn't like..."  The voice trailed off, growing more quiet as Vash
continued walking away.  "Hey, Vash!"

The temptation to say something was overwhelming, but Vash ignored it,
forcing himself to keep walking, not even letting himself call out some
last remark that Kensuke had almost never called him by his real name.
It was only after the other boy's voice had ceased entirely that Vash
allowed himself a quick look back towards the house, remembering all
the time that he'd spent at his friend's house.  "Smartest kid in
school," he muttered, turning his gaze back down the street, forcing
himself to focus.  "Always was, even when we were younger."

Another deep sigh found its way past Vash's lips, his thoughts drifting
to when he was younger.  He hadn't been a popular kid then, but he'd
been much happier, and he knew it.  He hadn't ever had to worry about
what other people thought of him, just about how he got through each
day, whether or not he was enjoying himself.  "Simpler times," he
muttered, closing his eyes as he shuffled along the street, almost
wishing that he'd never set foot inside of an Eva unit.

                                  ]++[

"What -nerve- that girl has," muttered Nieve, her fingers drumming idly
against the wooden surface of the table, her brow furrowed as her eyes
flitted wildly about the yellow walls.  "Trying to come on to you when
you're -obviously- taken.  You'd think that being the Seventh Child was
some vast accomplishment or something."

"Can we drop this already?" asked Neil, his voice betraying his
exasperation, hands flying to his forehead and rubbing it gently.  He
was doing his best to remain calm, but it was a losing battle, one that
Nieve had been fighting with him nearly since the moment that they had
returned home.  It was, he was certain, yet another effort on her part
to find some kind of distraction from the loss of her Eva, a habit that
Neil had found himself increasingly losing patience with.  "We were
just talking, after all.  It's not like that means she was -"

"Neil, it's sweet of you to try and defend her, but she doesn't deserve
it," replied Nieve, waving her hand towards him dismissively.  Her eyes
briefly shot towards Pen-Pen as the penguin emerged from his fridge for
what seemed to be his customary mid-day apartment stroll, then she
turned back towards the blank sheet of paper in front of her.  "I know
full well what's going on.  It's one of my skills."

Sighing, Neil tried to ignore the girl as she began scribbling
something on the paper in front of her, forcing himself to simply stand
and walk calmly towards the fridge.  "You're getting insufferable," he
muttered, reaching into the fridge and retrieving a can of soda, his
eyes flicking unconsciously towards Misato's rows of beer cans.  "Just
drop it, okay?  She just didn't have anybody to talk to."

"Don't treat me like I don't understand what's -happening-!" snapped
Nieve, one hand slamming down on the table, green eyes flashing with
anger as Neil turned to face her.  "I'm a smart girl.  You damn well
know that.  I don't need to have things spelled out for me in order to
pick up on what's going on."  She faltered for a moment, something
softer beginning to tickle at the back of her emerald eyes.  "Kaji used
to do the same thing, and it wasn't right then, either."

"Nieve, for the love of God, you're chasing shadows," sighed Neil,
shaking his head as he stepped back towards the girl.  "If you want to
talk about Kaji, fine, but leave Rei alone already.  We were talking
because I went over to talk to her."

"I -know- that!" snapped Nieve, her eyes growing angry once again, her
fingers closing around the pen in front of her and tapping it hard
against the table's surface, her expression darkening with each passing
moment.  "But I know that she must have led you on, that you were only
talking to her because she forced you into it.  And that's what I'm
angry about.  We've -discussed- this.  Weren't you listening?"

"Were -you-?" asked Neil, his tone growing further exasperated, a
headache beginning to blossom in the back of his head as crimson aches
began to emerge.  "Nieve, I talked to her of my own free will.  I tend
to doubt that Rei's even -capable- of trying to lead someone on.
There's something different about her."  He sighed.  "Is it so hard to
believe that I was just talking with the girl."

"-Yes-!" replied Nieve, leaning across the table as best she could, her
hands managing to barely cling to the front of Neil's shirt.  It was a
gesture obviously intended to be angry and intimidating, but the end
effect was more of a woman begging for something than of a girl angry
at her lover.  "Because I -know- you, Neil, and I know that you can't
talk to a girl without getting infatuated with her!  And I know that
you want to be with -me-, not some ghost-pale stick girl!"

The girl's words cut deeply, and Neil recoiled slightly, knowing that
his expression was growing more angry even as guilt began to bleed
along with his growing headache.  "That - that's not true," he said,
trying to remain calm, sounding angry despite himself.  "I was just
talking with her, Nieve.  I can talk to -"

"Do you think I'm a -moron-?" snapped Nieve, releasing the boy's shirt
and pushing away from the table, stepping over to him with surprisingly
swift motions.  "I -know- how obsessed you are with Eiko, and I -know-
that the same damn thing would have happened with Niobe if it wasn't
for the fact that you never talked to her!  I'm not -blind-, damn it!
But you're with -me-, and I thought you were -realizing- that!"

Neil stared at Nieve for a moment, his eyes matching hers before he
pushed back, trying to remain calm.  "I don't understand what your
problem is right now, Nieve," he said.  "You're overreacting to
something completely innocent."

Instead of calming the girl, Neil's words seemed to anger her further,
her eyes narrowing and her fists clenching for a moment before she
pressed herself closer to him.  "I'm reacting to what you -do-,"
replied Nieve firmly, her hands opening before they clasped hard
against his shoulders.  "I understand it, Neil, and I know that I have
to deal with it.  It's all right.  But I don't believe that you'd do
that to me, that you'd... you'd -cheat- on me like that."

Only her words were needed to send Neil further down the spiral of
guilt, even as he felt himself growing angry at being falsely accused
of unfaithfulness.  "I just -talked- with someone," he snapped, forcing
himself away from the girl even as her fingers dug more tightly into
his skin.  "There's nothing wrong with that."

"Stop -saying- that!" snappped Nieve, trying to pull Neil back towards
her and finding herself unable to, her arms straining momentarily as he
stood his ground as best he could.  Tears were beginning to pool at the
corner of her eyes, her muscles seemingly going limp.  "She led you on,
I know it.  You... you're not going to leave me."  She paused, her eyes
drifting hesitantly towards Neil's.  "Please tell me the truth.  Tell
me that you didn't cheat on me."

"Talking with someone else -isn't- cheating!" snapped Neil, stepping
around Nieve, his voice carrying more impact than he'd initially
intended.  He felt momentarily guilty about it, but he was feeling
frustrated, tired of playing along with Nieve's groundless insecurities
as he stepped towards the door.  "Come on, Nieve, what's going on?  Are
you upset about Kaji, or -"

"BE QUIET!" screamed Nieve, stepping away from Neil, her eyes flashing
with anger even as a lone tear fell from the corner of her eye to the
dark wooden floor beneath her.  "I don't -need- him around!  I didn't
need him around even -before- we came to Tokyo-3!  He thought that he
was my father, that he was obligated to take care of me, as if..."  She
paused, then snarled.  "Stop dodging the issue already!"

Part of Neil felt guilty as he stared at the girl, his feet slowly
moving him towards the door even as she looked at him angrily.  But
even as part of him felt the familiar guilt wash over him, part of him
simply felt anger and frustration, an exasperation at having to endure
the girl's constant suspicions.  His mouth opened to say something,
then he shook his head and stepped down to put his shoes on, his back
facing Nieve.

"Don't you leave, Neil Richelieu."  Nieve's voice was forceful, tinged
with a sort of hysterical sadness that he'd grown used to, that he had
no desire to deal with under the circumstances.  He felt guilty for
knowing the reason he was leaving, but his feet still slipped into his
shoes, never turning back to face the girl.  "Don't you leave me now.
I'm the one in control of this relationship, you know that, -I- know
that, and everyone -"

The door shut behind Neil with a decisive slam, cutting off the end of
Nieve's sentence, filling the hall with an eerie silence even as the
beautiful hazy orange of the looming sunset began to filter in through
the apartment hall's windows.  Neil stayed in place for a moment, anger
mizing with guilt, and with a deep breath he forced himself to walk, to
try and let himself experience what he needed to on his own as best he
could.

                                  ]++[

"Was wondering where you'd gone off to."  The voice was already slurred
with what Vash could only assume was a day's worth of alcohol, the
speech more comprehensible simply out of years of expectance than out
of actual words being formed by the man.  "Thought you said you were
getting out of there 'round dinnertime.  Been a long time since then,
that's for damn sure."  He paused.  "You off at that arcade with
Kensuke again?"

"Not today, dad," replied Vash, his voice sounding weakened even to him
as he let the door shut behind him, slipping his shoes off as he
stepped into the house fully.  His father, as usual, was slumped in the
maroon couch, a beer in hand and filthy hair hanging around him.
"Kensuke's... moving away.  Leaving town."

"Is he?"  The elder man actually sounded vaguely incredulous, tilting
his head back towards Vash as the boy headed towards the kitchen to
grab some variety of food.  "Why the hell's he doing that?"  The man
paused for a moment in what Vash assumed was thought, then coughed
loudly.  "Doesn't his father work for NERV?  I didn't think that they
were letting their own people leave."

"They're not.  Kenuske's dad got a transfer to Tokyo-2."  Vash sighed,
fishing out a half-eaten ham sandwich that he'd left in the fridge the
day prior on the off chance that he'd need it.  It had grown to be a
habit, leaving food in place in case his father forgot all about
dinner.  "He says that it's not safe in this city any longer."

"Kensuke say that, or his father?" asked the man, his question
accompanied by the clink of beer cans as he stood from the couch.
"Either way, anybody saying that about Tokyo-3 is a damn fool.  NERV
shouldn't even bother with all those other branches.  I'd march down
there and straighten things out with their organization myself, if I
wasn't getting so old."  He paused, shuffling into the kitchen with a
slightly dazed look in his eyes.  "You told him that, right?"

"That you're getting old?" replied Vash, his tone intentionally
scathing.  "No, I left that out."  He stared at his father for a
moment, the slumped posture and unkempt black hair, then felt his hand
unconsciously and uncomfortable twitch towards his own once-blonde
locks as he started to move towards the living room.  When he was
younger, he had remember loving to look like his father, even to the
extent of growing his hair as long as he could.  It made him feel
uneasy to think that he'd done anything of the sort, and he forced
himself to think of something else as he flopped down on the reclining
chair to one side of the beer-reeking couch.

"Ah, forget that kid, Koji.  Some people just don't have smart
parents."  The elder man either didn't hear or ignored Vash's indignant
snort in response, but either way he remained silent until he returned
to the living room, a fresh six-pack in tow.  "Hell, if that man worked
for NERV and didn't know what was going on, he's probably better off in
Tokyo-2.  I'd be surprised if he could cross the street without
shitting himself."

Irritation boiled in Vash's head as his father fumbled for the remote,
and leaning over Vash snatched the small black device away, flipping
the channel and glaring at the man.  "God, Dad, do you even -know- what
you're talking about?  He's probably -right-.  It -isn't- safe here any
more."

"Now -you're- sounding like a fool," replied his father, smirking at
the boy as though he'd only heard what he wanted, something that seemed
more than likely in light of the situation.  "Tokyo-3 is the safest
place to be.  It might get a couple buildings smashed every now and
again, but it's the only place in the world with the Evangelions - and
even if they get 'em somewhere else, they're not going to have you as a
pilot."

"Dad, I'm not a very -good- pilot," replied Vash, shaking his head
somewhat halfheartedly, not particularly wanting to argue with his
father but also not wanting the drunken man's praise.  "I'm still
wondering why the hell they gave me another Eva after the first one was
destroyed."

"You kidding?  You're a -great- pilot," replied the man, settling back
in the couch, the noise of the beer cans shifting around his body
following the slow motion.  "You're my son, after all, and you know
that saying about the fruit never falling far from the tree.  Mark my
words, Koji - you're going to grow up to be just like your old man.
It's in your blood."

Vash bit his tongue, resisting the urge to come back with a snappy
retort immediately.  Instead, he simply stared at his father, the elder
man slouching as he sipped his beer, greasy black hair beginning to mix
with prematurely gray strands.  "You really think that?" asked Vash,
for once being entirely honest with his father.

"Of course," replied his father curtly, staring at the television for a
moment longer before turning his alcohol-misted eyes towards his son.
"Hey - usually when I call you Koji, you complain about it, say you
want me to call you by that nickname instead.  Why not tonight?"

"Lots of reasons," replied Vash, turning his gaze towards the flashing
lights of the television once again, his fists tightening instinctively
as he forced himself to take a deep breath.  There was anger growing in
the back of his head, but it was an anger directed inward for the first
time that he could remember, and he hesitantly raised a hand to his
hair, letting his fingers run through the darkening strands as though
he'd never touched it before.

It was his father's hair, and he knew it.  He could distantly remember
hearing his mother talking about how he'd inherited the long black
strands from the elder man, how she had praised his father's long hair
as one of the marks that had first attracted her to him.  A heavy sigh
pushed its way up from the depths of Vash's lungs, and he let his hand
fall back to his side, weakly taking a bite out of his almost-forgotten
sandwich.  The feeling of contamination seemed to be seeping along his
skin irreversibly, like an oil slick moving across the surface of the
ocean.

                                  ]++[

It was unnervingly quiet in the apartment despite the sound of the
television, the sickeningly sweet music playing in the background as
the actors spoke a fluid string of syllables Nieve could only assume
was Japanese.  The sound did nothing to quell the real silence that she
felt, the almost tangible dearth of anybody real to talk to, the lack
of human contact that seemed to permeate the walls around her.  "He
should have come back by now," she muttered to herself, folding her
arms firmly across her chest as she slouched down further.  "He's not
being fair."

No voice answered her remark, and Nieve felt a slight chill run along
her skin, her lips tightening as she pulled her knees closer to her
chest out of instinct.  She was still thrown by the fact that he had
left in the first place when he should have stayed, when she should
have had more than enough control over the situation to keep him in one
place.  "Got to figure out what's going on with him," she muttered,
shaking her head.  "I have to keep a handle on this.  Kaji being dead
doesn't affect that, not in the least."

Silence wrapped around her again as her words fell silent, wrapping
around her body like a suffocatingly tight blanket before the door
clicked open.  Instinctively, Nieve launched herself to her feet, eager
to rush towards the door before she caught herself, a quick reminder to
her brain that she needed to act as though she was the one in control
if she was ever going to have a stable situation with Neil.  Taking a
deep breath, she stepped smoothly around towards the door, her
expression haughty and only vaguely angry.

"Hey," offered Misato, her shoes falling lightly against the floor as
she stepped towards Nieve, eyes tired and body obviously weak.  "It's
good to be home again, but you didn't have to get up just to greet
me."  She paused for a moment, her brown eyes flicking towards Nieve,
then she sighed and turned towards the fridge, her purple hair swaying
behind her.  "But you were waiting for Neil, weren't you?"

"He left a while ago.  I was starting to get worried about him."  Nieve
paused for a moment, then decided to omit the details of their
argument, doubting that Misato would have anything meaningful to add to
what they had already said.  Misato stepped towards the kitchen, and
Nieve struggled to think of something to say to the woman, her mind
finally lighting on a concept too quickly for her to think about what
it meant.  "You were there when Kaji died, weren't you?"

Misato froze, her entire body going rigid for a moment before she
slowly resumed her path towards the fridge.  "Kaji was in charge of
your departure from Ireland," she muttered, one hand opening the door
of the fridge even as she smacked her forehead with the other.  "He was
your guardian.  Shit.  I'm sorry, Nieve, it completely slipped my mind,
with everything else that's been going on today..."  She paused, then
turned back towards Nieve, an unopened beer in one hand.  "This must be
hard on you, too."

The woman's halting apology was met with a dismissive snort, Nieve's
eyes growing harder as she turned away from Misato.  "You're being
ridiculous, Misato.  I could care less about what happened to him."
She paused, then turned her head halfway towards the woman, her eyes
peeking out just behind a thin film of fire-red hair.  "Besides, he got
what he deserved, from what I understand.  Assaulting a senior member
of NERV's staff and then invading the base?  Stupid move."

"You don't understand what happened," replied Misato firmly, her
fingers moving deftly across her top of the beer can and popping it
open with a hiss.  "He was there for the right reasons."  She stepped
towards Nieve as the girl looked away once again, her motions tired but
still graceful.  "Are you sure that you're not upset about it?"

"Positive.  Don't be ridiculous."  Nieve forced a laugh, stepping away
from Misato swiftly and feeling a vague discomfort growing in the pit
of her stomach.  She didn't want to talk about Kaji at all, and she'd
only asked about his death as a way to say something to the woman.  She
knew more than enough about the situation, and the last thing she
wanted was to address the nagging doubt in the back of her mind about
the man.  "After all, it's not like I need him around any more."

Misato said nothing immediately, simply moved past Nieve towards the
living room, staring at the television as Nieve looked towards her.
There was a moment of silence, then the woman turned to look at the
girl, something unreadable in her eyes.  "Are you talking about me?"

"Don't flatter yourself," replied Nieve, her tone remaining sharper
than she'd originally intended.  "I have -me-, and that's what's
important.  No offense, but I haven't needed a guardian since I was
ten, and I certainly don't need someone as irresponsible as Kaji.  I'm
better off on my own."

"If you're better off alone, why are you so intent about staying with
Neil?"  The woman's tone was somewhat exhausted, and she took a quick
sip of her beer as Nieve's eyes widened in response to the question.
"Just curious."

"T-that's completely unrelated," replied Nieve after a moment, shaking
her head, anger beginning to cloud her thoughts again.  "I don't -need-
to have Neil around, not at all.  I just... I prefer it."  Her arms
folded across her chest almost unconsciously, her feet moving her
towards the nearest wall as a convenient space to lean on.  "What's
wrong with that, anyways?  That doesn't mean I need him around."

Both Misato and Nieve remained silent for a moment, their eyes loosely
meeting, Misat's expression unreadable and Nieve's harshly dismissive.
Then Nieve whipped her head away, staring towards the kitchen and away
from Misato, her lips a tightly line and her brow furrowed.  "It's none
of your business anyways," she said firmly, biting her lower lip
gently, the doubt in the back of her mind growing louder.  "What are
you trying to do, get me to admit something?"

"All I asked was why you were so intent on keeping Neil around,"
replied Misato, her tone growing slightly harder, her footsteps echoing
in Nieve's ears as she stepped closer.  "It's a simple question.  If
you don't need other people around, then -"

"I don't -need- him around, I just -want- him around," replied Nieve,
her arms folding more tightly across her chest as she let her eyes shut
tightly, forcing herself to take deep breaths.  "And I don't like it
when he's not around any more than you would like not having a beer to
come home to."  She paused.  "That doesn't prove anything, and you know
that.  I don't need him just because I want to have him around."

"Nieve, you don't have to lie to me," replied Misato, her voice almost
unnaturally calm as she placed her free hand on Nieve's shoulder, the
sudden contact sending a minor twitch through Nieve's muscles.
"There's nothing wrong with needing other people around.  That's part
of who we are.  We can't rely just on ourselves."

"Maybe -you- can't, but I -can-," replied Nieve firmly, shrugging hard
and forcing Misato's hand off her shoulder.  She forced herself away
from the wall and walked swiftly towards her room, her eyes growing
more angry even as her thoughts began to drift in directions that made
her more than a little nervous.  "I don't need -anybody-.  Not -you-,
not -Neil-, and certainly not -Kaji-."

Silence reigned for another moment, and Nieve felt her breath coming
harder.  "What did you and Neil fight about?" asked Misato, her voice
still calm.

"None of your BUSINESS!" shouted Nieve, whipping around to face the
woman, her eyes narrowed to slits as she felt inexplicable tears begin
to push themselves forward behind her eyes.  Misato was still calm, her
beer loosely held in one hand as she stared at Nieve, a gesture that
only served to infuriate the girl further.  "What difference does it
make to you, anyways?  If things get hard for you, you can just go
ahead and leave, can't you?  You're not obligated to take care of us!
You're just doing it because you want to feel good about yourself!"

Again, Misato froze, and Nieve could tell that the comment had been
more biting that she'd originally intended from the subtle shift in the
woman's expression, the slightly growing furrows along her brow.
"That's what you're really worried about, isn't it?" asked Misato, her
voice straining but still managing to remain calm, her expression
softening ever so slightly as she stepped towards Nieve once again.
"You can't stand the thought of being alone."

"SHUT UP!" screamed Nieve, her voice cracking as she began to tip
forward towards her knees, tears making their way down her cheeks as
she stared at Misato.  Her entire body was trembling from sorrow, her
fists clenched into tight balls, her voice straining between anger and
sorrow.  "That's not true!  I don't need anybody else!  I don't -want-
anybody else!  Other people just - just leave!"

The girl's mouth opened halfway to say something more, then closed
again as she fell to her knees, sobbing even as she struggled to remain
angry, tears falling swiftly to the floor and collecting in small pools
of fluid.  Misato stood for only a moment longer, then knelt beside
Nieve and placed her hand on the girl's shoulder as Nieve muttered
something that might have been "go away."  "You could have told me,"
offered Misato, her words still calm.  "You could have told Neil."

"Why bother?  You're both going to leave sooner or later."  The girl
inched halfheartedly away from Misato, her sobs beginning to diminish
in force, seemingly more out of exhaustion than anything.  "Everyone
does.  Even Kaji's left now."  She paused, curling over further towards
the floor, beginning to cry with more enthusiasm.  "Oh, God, Kaji.
He's gone.  He's gone forever."

Misato began to say something, but a choking sob from Nieve cut her
short, the girl's mouth parting halfway as ragged breaths began to
escape her lips.  "I... I thought... I thought that being a pilot... I
thought that I could..."  Her words trailed off, and she made a hacking
cough before starting again.  "I couldn't do anything to help him.  I
didn't even know what was going on, and it was all happening -right- in
front of me..."

"You're only sixteen, Nieve," replied Misato, something subtly breaking
in her voice, as though she was running out of sympathy for the girl.
"It's not your job to try and manage everyone's life just yet.  For all
the responsibility that you're being given, you shouldn't -"

"Don't patronize me," Nieve replied, trying her best to snap and sound
angry but winding up simply sounding defeated.  Another awkward silence
passed between the two, Nieve's body gently shuddering as Misato weakly
rested her hand upon the girl's shoulder.  "I don't want to need
anybody.  People just leave no matter what you do.  You can't rely on
anybody but yourself, but even that doesn't work."  She sighed heavily,
the breath tearing itself out of her lungs.  "What do I do, Misato?
What am I -supposed- to do?"

"I don't know either," replied Misato, her voice weak as she gently
rubbed the girl's shoulder.  There was a shift in her tone, as though
she was accustomed to exactly what the girl was going through and could
sympathize.  "All I can tell you is that I miss him too."

The door clicked open, and both Misato and Nieve glanced towards it to
see Neil standing there, his expression blank.  Misato glanced
momentarily at the girl, then at Neil, then stood with her beer in
hand, taking a sip of the bitter liquid as she glanced down the hall
towards the television.  "I'm going to my room," she announced, her
voice beginning to take the slight slurring tone of alcohol.  "I'll let
you two work things out yourselves."

Neither Child moved as Misato left the room, Neil remaining frozen in
the doorway as Nieve awkwardly sobbed on the floor.  Then, hesitantly,
he stepped into the apartment and let the door shut, slipping his shoes
off and letting them fall against the floor as he stepped gently
towards Nieve.  "Listen, Nieve, I -"

"Please don't say what I think you're about to," said Nieve quietly,
forcing herself to her feet, wobbling for a moment before stepping over
towards the boy with uneasy steps.  He remained rooted in the floor as
she moved, something in her eyes sending an undeniable message.  "I...
I know that I overreacted.  I know that you didn't do anything wrong.
I... I'm sorry."

Silence reigned for a moment, then Neil cleared his throat before Nieve
continued, her voice gaining strength slightly.  "I got scared, Neil.
I found out this morning that someone that had been nearly omnipresent
in my life in NERV for a long while had just died.  It scared me
because it meant that I didn't know as much as I thought I did, but...
it scared me more because I couldn't do anything to prevent it.
Because I couldn't keep him near me."

"You could have told me," replied Neil, his voice sounding oddly weak,
as though he was kicking himself for even having the conversation with
Nieve.  His feet moved towards her slowly, his expression still
difficult to read even as he grew closer.  "I know that I should have
been more patient, Nieve, I just..."  He paused, then cast his eyes
away from the girl, a frown beginning to cross his lips.  "I don't like
being suspected of things like that.  I don't like you looking at me as
though I've betrayed you."

A halting step closer to the girl, and Neil froze, his eyes shutting
gently as they continued to point away from her.  Nieve hesitated, then
began to step towards him as well, emotions still jumbled within her
head.  "Neil..."  She paused, swallowing hard as she took another step
forward.  "Stay."

The boy's eyes opened and pivoted towards Nieve as she continued
moving, drawing herself up as best she could, her hair falling limply
around her shoulders.  "Stay with me tonight, Neil.  Please.  Let me
feel you next to me, your arms holding me.  The way that we slept
together the first time."  She paused in her speech, her feet still
shuffling awkwardly towards the boy.  "Just please, stay.  I... I need
somebody to stay with me."

Neil stared blankly at the girl, and Nieve felt her heart begin to beat
faster in light of his apparent indifference.  "I'll beg if that's what
you want," she said softly, biting her lower lip as a single droplet of
a tear hung itself at the corner of her eye.  "If that what it takes to
keep you here tonight, then -"

"Shh."  The boy stepped forward and embraced Nieve, his arms wrapping
around her and squeezing her body close to his, gentle warmth seeping
from his skin into hers.  Nieve let her body go limp for a moment as
she felt herself nearly begin crying out of relief, then let her own
arms wrap around Neil, her breath coming slowly and uneasily.  She
couldn't chase the thought that something was still wrong out of her
head, but she let it remain without attention, focusing instead on the
simple comfort of Neil's arms.

                                  ]++[

The damp noise of LCL splattering against the cold metal floor filled
the room for a moment as Ryo slowly dried himself, his bare feet
occasionally slapping against the floor as Ritsuko and Gendou looked
on.  Ritsuko had still not figured out what Fuyutsuki had been getting
at with his prior comments about the boy, a thought that frustrated her
as she stared at him moving slowly, his motions just shy of
mechanical.  It was one of many disappointments that she saw embodied
in his pale skin and blue hair, and almost unconsciously she felt her
breath beginning to come more quickly.  "Please move faster, Ryo.  We
do have other things to do today."

"So do I," replied Ryo, his tone almost flat but bearing just enough
inflection to sound like someone other than himself.  His red eyes
seemed sorrowful, and at the same time that there almost seemed to be a
trace of embarassment within them, as though he had somehow become
aware of the way that most teenagers would have reacted to being naked
in front of two scientists.  "I'm moving as fast as I can, Dr. Akagi.
I apologize if there's a rush that I'm not aware of."

"Don't worry about it," replied Gendou, the vaguest trace of a smile
crossing his face as he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.  It was a
gesture that Ritsuko couldn't quite gauge, too uncharacteristic for the
normally stoic commander for Ritsuko to begin to puzzle a meaning out
of it.

Ryo stared at him for a moment, then finished drying himself and tied
the towel about his waist, his gaze lighting away from Gendou.  "Am I
free to go, then?" he asked calmly, still sounding almost embarassed,
more of an emotion that Ritsuko could remember him ever displaying
before.

"Completely," replied Gendou, the same almost-smile remaining on his
lips as he adjusted his glasses.  They were not his usual glasses,
something Ritsuko had recognized with a small amount of dread - these
were dark-tinted, making his eyes impossible to see even when he didn't
manage to catch the glare of the fluorescent lights perfectly.  "In
fact, unless I'm significantly surprised by your test results today,
you're done for the forseeable future.  You won't have to come in for
any more testing."

The boy's eyes widened at the comment, his mouth parting slightly
coupled with a sharp intake of breath.  Ritsuko began to have the
vaguest suspicion about why the commander had placed the smile on his
face, but she kept her expression stoic as Ryo stared at him, obviously
surprised.  "Have... have I somehow provided unsatisfactory results?"
he asked, sounding not so much devestated as curious, almost as though
he was pleased at having failed the near-constant testing.

"Far from it.  We have collected all of the data that we need."  Gendou
nodded, then glanced towards Ritsuko and nodded.  "You've been an
invaluable resource in determining the origins of your ability to pilot
the Evangelion units.  With this information, we may no longer force
you Children to pilot them."

"I understand," replied Ryo, sounding more than a little disappointed
despite himself.  He lingered for a moment longer, then turned towards
where he knew the doorway lay in the darkness of the room, stepping
towards it even as Fuyutsuki's form appeared in the doorway.

Ritsuko watched and waited until he seemed distant enough to be out of
earshot, then leaned slightly towards Gendou, flicking her eyes
momentarily towards the boy's pale form to ensure that he wasn't about
to overhear.  "That's what you told him the testing was for?" she
asked.  "To determine the origin of the Children's ability?"

"He could not know the truth," replied Gendou, the smile disappearing
from his face.  It was almost a relief for Ritsuko to see his
expression return to its stoic norm, as though the natural order of
things had been restored.  "The risk of contamination was far too
great.  Judging from these results, knowing of his failure or success
is utterly unnecessary."

A vague twitch of guilt summoned itself within Ritsuko's chest, and she
flicked her eyes once more towards the retreating form of Ryo, watching
as he passed Kozou without so much as a nod.  "The replacement has
already been prepared," she said, her voice still sounding in hushed
tones, eyes still flicking back and forth between Gendou and Ryo.
"We've instructed the production facility to hold off on the activation
of 08, but we could have the vessel shipped to them by tomorrow
morning."

"Do so.  And tell them to complete the process as soon as they receive
him - I have a sneaking suspicion that SEELE may attempt to sabotage
the process if we allow things to linger for too long."  Gendou paused,
glancing down towards Ritsuko's display, the creeping corruption across
Ryo's status visible.  "This is not a failure, ultimately.  We knew
from the start that allowing him exposure could make him unusable.
Sacrifices must be made."

"Of course," replied Ritsuko, feeling slightly unsure of her own
words.  She shot one last glance towards the door as it hissed shut
behind Ryo, then turned towards Gendou completely.  "Why did you smile
at him, sir?  Was it to convince him that the testing had gone well?"

"No," replied Gendou flatly, glancing towards Ritsuko before turning
and heading towards the doorway himself, his thoughts seemingly
elsewhere.  "I do still have some attachment to the boy, after all."
He paused momentarily to nod at Fuyutsuki, then proceeded towards the
door without looking back towards Ritsuko, his feet echoing into the
darkness.

Ritsuko stared after the commander for a moment, then turned her gaze
back towards the consoles as Fuyutsuki approached, one hand
unconsciously gravitating towards the bridge of her nose and gently
rubbing it between her fingers.  "How is Rei doing?" she asked,
distantly aware as Fuyutsuki came up beside her.  "No rejection of the
portions yet?"

"They're fully assimilated.  She's more than capable of performing the
task set out for her."  The elderly man paused for a moment, then
looked down at the displays in front of Ritsuko, obviously expecting
what he saw dancing on the screens.  "So he's been found unsuitable
after all.  Not as though we didn't know it already, but still... it's
a harsh blow."

"I know," replied Ritsuko, shaking her head.  "Dr. Ikari's taking it a
lot better than I had expected... heck, a lot better than -I- feel like
taking it.  The thought that all that work went to waste is just...
well, not quite infuriating, but it certainly isn't a good sign,
especially when we're so close to the moment of truth."

"He's just a boy, Ritsuko."  The tone of Fuyutsuki's voice was slightly
off, and Ritsuko distantly recognized it from his earlier comments
about Ryo, as though the conversation was drifting back in the same
direction.  "It's not -contamination- for him to have forged some
emotional connections with the other Children."

"Of course it is.  We needed him to remain pure if he was going to act
as a component of the vessel, and he isn't.  We're not certain if we'll
be able to make this work even if the vessel is completely empty, and
there's no way that it'll work with him holding on to all the trappings
of his world like this."  She sighed, shaking her head.  "But you know
all of that.  You know that we need a pure vessel to make this work.
Half of the theories involved are your work."

"What would you say if I told you that I wished I had never let Gendou
Ikari hear one word of those theories?" replied Kozou, his eyes fixated
on the now-empty testing tube.  Ritsuko's blue-gray eyes widened, then
flicked up to follow his gaze.  "I can still remember when Yui Ikari
first brought me her theories about biological engineering, and I
remember how my heart nearly skipped a beat when I read her own
admission that the technology could be used for military purposes.
Here was something that could be used for nearly anything, with
unlimited potential to advance humanity... and I knew then and there
that it would first visit the world as a tool of war."

"The Evangelion units are hardly tools of any war that the world has
seen before," replied Ritsuko, her tone becoming slightly more curt
almost in spite of herself.  "They're the only defense that humanity
has against annhilation.  They're weapons of salvation."  She paused
for a moment, turning her gaze back towards the monitors.  "Ryo is just
another part of that salvation.  Another tool."

"Do you -hear- yourself?" asked Kozou, his tone becoming more insistent
as he leaned towards the younger woman.  Ritsuko felt a minor flush
flow throught her body as she stared at the man, almost worried that he
was about to do something drastic.  "You're talking about a -boy-, Dr.
Akagi.  A living, breathing, human being.  He was born into this world
just like we were."

"And he was born into this world to help save it," replied Ritsuko, her
tone growing slightly more forceful.  She felt vaguely uncomfortable
with the direction that the conversation was heading in, thought she
couldn't quite tell if it was because Fuyutsuki was wrong or because
she knew that it was right.  "You know the circumstances of his birth
as well as I do."

"No, I know them -better-," replied Kozou, his tone harsher, one hand
grabbing Ritsuko's shoulder and forcing her around to look him in the
eye.  Her heart skipped a quick beat, and her eyes went wide as she
stared at the man, unsure of whether to be angry or afraid.
"Ritsuko... there are things that you don't know about what's going on
around here.  I know that you think you're priveleged to all of the
secrets inside of NERV, but there are things that have been kept from
you, things that might change your view of this entire program."

Ritsuko stared at the man for a moment longer, then pulled her shoulder
away curtly, trying to force herself to breathe normally.  "I tend to
doubt that, -doctor-," she said, unsure of exactly why she had
emphasized his title, her heart and mind still racing.  "I know what
NERV is trying to do just as well as you do.  We've been entrusted with
the fate of humanity.  Doubts and regrets have no place if we're going
to try and stand on equal footing with God."

Kozou stared at Ritsuko for a moment longer, then cast his eyes back
towards the testing chamber, the LCL still occasionally dripping from
the parts that had been submerged in the orange-red liquid.  "We
haven't been entrusted with the fate of humanity, we've taken the
burden onto ourselves," he sighed, closing his eyes slowly.  "When did
you start putting that duty first, Ritsuko?  When did being a woman
start taking a lower priority?"

"You've said it yourself, Dr. Fuyutsuki - I'm my mother's child,"
replied Ritsuko, feeling a flush of embarassment begin to spread across
her cheeks and becoming grateful for the sparse light of the testing
room.  "This is too important to let my personal feelings interfere
with my performance.  That was one of the first things that I learned
about my job."  She paused, then almost unexpectedly turned towards
Kozou once again.  "My relationship with Kaji was the last time that I
let my personal feelings come first.  I've learned my lesson the hard
way."

The man said nothing for a moment, then sighed and lowered his head,
seemingly not so much defeated as simply tired.  "You're right, I
suppose.  You're even a little like me at your age.  I thought that all
that really mattered was that I performed my task, that personal
feelings were only going to interfere with science."  He sighed again,
then turned towards the door, eyes still closed.  "Now, though... I
suppose I'm just starting to wonder about that.  I wonder if emotions
obstructing science isn't a good thing, if it isn't the only thing that
keeps us from becoming monsters of our own creation."

Ritsuko's eyes slowly followed Kozou as he headed towards the door, his
stride unusually slow, as though he was holding back one last rejoinder
to her arguments.  As the door slid open, he paused for just one
moment, then turned his head back towards Ritsuko, eyes wide open now,
glinting slightly in the light.  "You don't know enough about what
happened to your mother," he said, his voice almost cracking.  "There's
a moral within her story."

Before Ritsuko could ask him for any kind of explanation, Kozou was out
the door, letting it hiss shut behind him as she opened her mouth.  A
moment passed, and with a shake of her head she turned back towards the
display, forcing herself back to the task at hand, knowing that it
would be the last time she had to deal with the boy's information.

                                  ]++[

Central Dogma was constructed as a place of routine.  Navigating the
labyrinthine teal-gray corridors was not a task of simply ascertaining
direction, but one of rote memorization, of simply recalling the number
of turns one took to reach a certain locations.  There was simply not
enough information to navigate by otherwise, as though the building was
designed to confuse and baffle, to keep outsiders from accessing its
lowest levels simply though misdirection and obfuscation.  The more
likely explanation was that it had simply been a result of trying to
fit a huge amount of capability into a very finite space, but there was
too little navigational sense within the building to make that
reasoning wholly believable.

It had never been a problem for Ryo to navigate Central Dogma before.
Memorizing routines and following them was the way that he went through
the entirety of his life, and applying it to the building's corridors
was no stretch of his abilities.  For the first time, however, he found
himself lost within the maze of the maddening corridors, his eyes
clancing back and forth down the bland halls but finding no hint as to
his position.

Taking a deep breath, Ryo began to walk down the corridor that
indicated an escalator further down, the most likely place for him to
re-establish the known route.  He'd decided to experiment, to see what
it meant to ignore the routines of navigation that Gendou had taught to
him early in his time at NERV, but he had already ascertained that the
sensation of being lost was one that he had no interest in experiencing
again, certainly not if he could avoid it.  Still, he wasn't angered by
the delay - the world seemed to be a cacophony of sensations that he'd
never experienced, something that he was acutely aware of, and simply
beginning to put names to them was a step in the right direction as far
as he could tell.

His footsteps echoed against the empty walls of NERV's corridors as he
headed towards the escalator, red eyes glancing about for some
indication of his position.  Knowing full well that his ultimate
destination lay upwards, he glanced around for only a moment before
stepping on the vertical escalator, taking a moment to glance down over
the balcony of the moving stairwell towards the depths of Central
Dogma.  It was dizzying to see how far down the base extended, but Ryo
had found himself unable to avoid the chance to look down, to finally
gain some sense of height and depth in more than the most strictly
academic sense.

Shaking his head, he turned his gaze back towards the top of the
escalator, and his eyes widened slightly at the sight of Rei standing
and waiting, as though she'd known he would be coming.  He recognized
the sensation that twitched through his body as a minor panic attack,
knowing full well that the girl would have had no way of knowing his
route, trying to reassure himself that it was simply a coincidence.
"Hello, Rei," he said, trying to calm himself by speaking.

"Ryo," she said flatly, the tone conspicuously familiar to him.  It was
the same flat inflection that he knew had made up the near entirety of
his speech for as long as he could remember.  A barely-visible frown
crossed his face as he stepped off the escalator, but Rei's expression
remained blank, another gesture that he recognized from his own
tendencies.

Taking a deep breath, Ryo cast his gaze around the platform that he and
Rei stood on before he let his eyes rest on the girl, red eyes meeting
in almost-equally blank expressions.  "I don't remember you," he said,
trying to force himself to ignore the odd creeping sense of nervousness
overtaking his body.  He had no idea if the girl would be able to pick
up on the minor cues of his apprehension, but he knew that he would
have noticed it if he were in her shoes.  "Do you remember me as a
child?  What we were like?"

"We were children of God," replied Rei, her tone still flat, her body
remaining unnaturally still.  There was an odd sense of chaotic
serenity around her, as though a thousand screaming voices had all
achieved some sort of accidental unity at once, and it disturbed Ryo in
a way that he'd never thought possible.  "As we are now."

"But why don't I remember you?" asked Ryo, his mind beginning to puzzle
over the situation.  He knew that the Children had all been born within
seven months of the Second Impact, but he couldn't help but wonder why
he'd been left in the dark about Rei if she was his twin.  "We couldn't
have been separated at birth, or you wouldn't still be named Ayanami.
You would have to be my twin to be my sister, but -"

"You ask too many questions," replied Rei, her voice still quietly
intense as she turned away from the boy towards the labyrinthine
corridors beyond them.  "The route out of Central Dogma resumes through
that hallway."  She paused for a moment, then lifted her arm and
pointed towards one of the halls, her arm almost reflecting the
flickering fluorescent light around it.

Ryo took a step towards the hallway that Rei indicated, then paused,
looking back at the girl, surveying her once again.  She was wearing
the bland and form-obscuring uniform of the school that Ryo went to,
any hints of her figure lost within the folds of her shirt.  Her
expression bore nothing, no trace of recognition or annoyance, none of
the things that Ryo was accustomed to seeing.  For the barest of
instants he realized what it must have felt like for other people
seeing him, but that emotion was quickly overtaken by another
realization about the girl in front of him.

"A tool," he said, his voice conveying the slightest sense of surprise
and disgust.  "That's what you are.  Another tool for Commander Ikari."

Her expression was unchanging as she turned and fixed her blood-red
eyes on Ryo, still displaying no sign that she had even listened to
him.  "I am what I am," she replied smoothly, her voice still flat, not
even allowing the emotion that Ryo would have shown.

"Rei, you don't know what you're doing," replied Ryo, shaking his head
and stepping closer to the girl.  "Being a tool for one person means
that you only hurt other people.  I learned that lesson through my own
failures.  Being a tool is something to try and avoid, not something to
be accepted."

"You know not of what you speak," replied Rei, her voice still
perfectly calm.  There was the slightest twitch of motion in her right
arm for a split second, but it vanished almost before Ryo had even
flicked his eyes towards it.  "Do you even know what a tool is?"

"The Evangelion units are tools," replied Ryo, feeling something grow
in the back of his head as he stared at the girl.  He was distantly
aware of the fact that his voice was becoming louder, something that he
couldn't remember having done before.  "I was a tool to allow Dr. Ikari
a reliable pilot for the Evangelion units."

"Human beings require tools to survive," Rei interjected, her voice
still the same quietly intense tone.  "Without fire, humans cannot
survive cold.  But fire does not require human beings.  Tools exist
independent of humans, serving them but not needing them."  She paused,
another momentary twitch of movement going through her arm.  "Tools are
used, but they are assured of their continued existence."

Both Children stared at one another for what might have been a few
seconds longer or a few minutes longer.  There was no real way to tell
how much time had passed, something Ryo only became aware of when Rei
snapped away from him, her red eyes glancing quickly down the corridor
that she had indicated before and then fixing on Ryo once again.  "You
should go," she said flatly, the dearth of tone somehow making the
statement sound like a command.

Shaking his head, Ryo forced himself to begin walking, his eyes
lingering on the girl for just a moment before he turned to stare down
the corridor.  A thought tickled at the back of his head as he passed
her, and after a second he turned halfway around, his mouth falling
open to speak before he saw that the girl was already gone.  A moment
of bewilderment followed, then he shook his head once again, knowing
that he didn't have the knowledge to deal with the puzzle.

                                  ]++[

It would have been clear to anyone with an ounce of sense that things
had changed around Eiko's high school, but as he stepped through the
gates Neil was acutely aware of precisely how different it was.  Gone
were the masses of students, all speaking a language that he couldn't
hope to understand, the constant motion kicking up pale clouds of
dust.  Instead, the courtyard had been turned into an empty expanse,
one obviously intended for people but having been deserted.

A deep breath forced its way into Neil's lungs as he began to walk
towards the terrace where he and Eiko had always met, his green eyes
darting about to the few groups of students that remained.  "I'm still
not welcome here," he muttered, head turning back and forth as he
recalled trying to find his way to the terrace on his first visit.
"But nobody else is, either."

Biting his lower lip, Neil shook his head and forced his gaze forward,
stepping lightly down the gray stone walkway, past the courtyard and
the unnaturally sparse student populace and into the greenery of the
school's terrace.  It was a welcome destination, someplace where the
lack of other human beings would be less jarring by virtue of the fact
that it had never attracted large crowds.  The thought that his own
task of piloting the Evas had contributed to the seeming desertion of
the courtyard hung in the back of the boy's mind, but he did his best
to ignore it as he walked along, sun shining in his eyes and blonde
hair lightly blowing around his ears in a warm breeze.

Sparing one last glance around the courtyard and fighting down a
growing sense of unease, Neil stepped into the terrace, casting his
gaze about to see where Eiko had situated herself.  Sunlight was
filtering through the leaves of the trees, casting mosaic shadows about
the walkway and making it slightly more difficult to pick out figures,
a minor detail that Neil found himself noticing almost unconsciously.
"I'm almost acting like I don't want to see the girl," he muttered to
himself.

The boy began to walk again, certain that he wouldn't be able to spot
the girl from his position as his own words began to sink in to his
mind.  He could remember the way that Nieve had looked at him all too
clearly, and at the thought he couldn't help but feel a pang of regret
at still going to see Eiko.  "Almost makes me miss the Angels," he
muttered, stepping around a corner, ears strainging to hear the sound
of the Japanese girl's voice.  "At least they're attention-grabbing.
You can't worry about -"

"Neil!"  The voice cut through the boy's thoughts, and after a second
of hesitation he turned to see Eiko waving at him, a thin smile on her
face.  "Sorry I'm a little bit late - I had to take care of some things
with Hikari.  She's leaving town soon, and... well..."  The girl
paused, then shook her head.  "Never mind.  I'm sorry."

"It's okay," replied Neil, stepping towards Eiko and trying to force a
smile, unable to place a name to the feeling in his chest.  She sat
down on the nearest bench, drawing out her lunch as Neil sat beside
her, not seeming to notice the confusion on his face.  "I'm just glad
to see you again.  It's been a while since we did this."

"Mm."  Eiko paused for a moment, then set to unwrapping the sandwich
from her lunch, seemingly avoiding any eye contact with the boy.
"Things have kept getting in the way, I guess.  It's just been... odd."

Both Children said nothing further for what seemed like an eternity,
both unwrapping their lunches and stealing awkward glances towards one
another.  Neil felt the odd sensation in his chest grow tighter, the
pain feeling somewhere between guilt and nervousness.  "Rei started
school here, didn't she?" he asked at length, hoping for some
conversation to keep his mind occupied.

"Yeah.  She's in my class - there are only a few classes left, though,
so that's nothing unusual."  The girl's tone was eager, as though she
was as happy as Neil to have something else to focus on.  "She's an odd
one, even more than Ryo."

Thinking back to his brief conversation with Rei, Neil nodded even as
he felt another pang of guilt, recalling how hurt Nieve had seemed as a
result.  "What do you mean by that?" he asked, trying to force himself
not to feel guilty as best he could.

"Ryo... he was always silent, but he always seemed like he was just
odd," replied Eiko, shaking her head gently.  "When you tried to talk
to him, he felt like he was just a kind of strange teenager, weird but
not... well, not -frighteningly- weird.  Talking with Rei - heck, even
looking at her - you just get this sense that she's not even human.
Like you shouldn't be looking her in the eyes."  She paused, then shook
her head again.  "I'm sorry.  I probably sound like an idiot now."

"Don't worry about that.  I tried to talk to her, too."  The boy
managed a smile, the tension in his chest still feeling overpowering as
he made momentary eye contact with the girl next to him.  "I wonder
about her, though.  Something about her just gives me the impression
that she's not really the same as the rest of us, as if..."  He paused,
then shook his head.  "Never mind.  It's nothing."

A small alarm went off in Neil's head as Eiko let the subject drop as
he'd asked, something that struck Neil as rather odd for her.  Instead,
she turned back towards her lunch, lifting her sandwich and taking an
almost miniscule bite out of it, her smooth skin seeming to soak up the
mosaic patches of skin in a way that Neil couldn't hope to explain.  It
took a moment for Neil to realize that he was staring, and a flush rose
to his cheeks as he turned back to his own lunch, the tightness in his
chest asserting itself once again.

"So, how are you and Vash doing?" he asked after a moment, realizing
only after the words were out of his mouth that he had opened himself
up to an area that he had little desire to talk about.  Her eyes turned
towards him, and the flush in his cheeks intensified as he tried to
figure out something more to say.  "I mean... well, with everything
that's been going on lately... I could understand why..."

"I think we're breaking up," replied Eiko softly, her tone emotional
enough to stop Neil's speech dead in its tracks.  "We haven't talked
about it yet, but I think that our next few dates will be the end."
She sighed.  "Two years... I guess I just assumed that it wouldn't ever
end.  I thought that I was really picking out a direction for my life
and sticking to it..."

"You're kidding," Neil interjected, feeling the tightness in his chest
grow almost unbearable.  In the back of his mind, a nagging voice was
taunting him, telling him that the only problem was in the timing, that
if she had been breaking up with Vash after Neil had arrived there
would be nothing troubling him whatsoever.  "You two have been together
for two whole years?  I mean... you can't be ready to call it quits so
quickly, can you?"

"This isn't something new," replied Eiko, shifting uncomfortably and
tugging on her skirt, her eyes cast down towards the patterns of
shadows on the walkway.  "It's been starting ever since... well...
since the day that the Thirteenth Angel was destroyed."  She sighed,
shaking her head.  "Something changed with Vash that day.  I feel like
I don't even recognize him any more, and that scares me a lot.  And I
think he knows that."

"Well, yeah, if I had been absorbed by an Angel I would probably change
a little myself," replied Neil, his mind blocking out the fact that he
had been absorbed by EVA-01.  "Heck, look at what happened to Niobe,
and she just had to communicate with one.  Just because he's changed a
bit, that's no reason to just give up and end it all."

Eiko said nothing immediately, her lids falling half-closed over her
brown eyes, strands of black hair swinging around her head as she
tilted ever so slightly forward.  "I think it has something to do with
you, honestly," she whispered, as though she was afraid of the trees
overhearing her.  "He said that he felt bad for not seeing you for what
you were sooner.  That he should have realized how noble you really
were."

Neil's eyes widened as another pang shot through his chest, the
mingling pain beginning to become overwhelming.  "That's ridiculous.
I'm not noble."  The boy stared for a moment, then leaned closer to the
girl.  "You told him that, right?"

"I didn't tell him anything," replied Eiko, her tone growing even
softer.  "He asked me if I..."  The sentence trailed off into silence,
followed by a gentle cough.  "It's not important what he asked me.  But
he seemed... almost reverent of you.  Of what a amazing job you've been
doing inside of the Eva, the way that you've kept the city safe so many
times, the way that you -"

"Stop it," Neil interjected, his hands tensing into fists as the
awkward tension in his chest began to fade into the familiar sensation
of guilt.  Closing his eyes, he could distantly see the specter of the
Eva's bright green iris, an image that seemed to grow no more distant
with time, mingled with the memory of the blood-red rage within the
cockpit.  "I haven't done anything worth respecting.  I've just been
lucky inside the Eva, that's all."

"Please, Neil," whispered Eiko, her hand reaching out and gently
brushing his shoulder.  "You know that's not true.  You came back when
all of us were being torn apart by the Fourteenth, when you could have
just left us to die.  That's -"

"And what if I didn't come back for you?" replied Neil, the guilt and
tension in his chest sending him to his feet and forcing the girl's
hand away from him.  "Eiko, every time that I get inside of that
machine, I can feel it whispering every horrible thing that it wants in
the back of my head.  I know that it wants me to let it go berserk,
that it wants to tear through the Geo-Front itself and hear the screams
of the people dying."  He paused, body and fists trembling
involuntarily.  "Every single time.  From the first day that I ever got
in there."

"But that's just because it's an Angel," replied Eiko, shaking her head
and standing before Neil, her expression utterly impossible to read.
"EVA-01 is the First Angel.  You know that.  It's bound to have a
stronger personality than the other machines, but that doesn't mean
you're -"

"You're not -listening-!" snapped Neil, his voice growing in volume
almost despite himself.  "The Eva is under -my- control.  It doesn't do
anything that I don't -want- it to on some level."  He paused for a
moment, watching the expression of mingled shock and horror spread
across Eiko's face as the implications of his statement slowly sank
in.  "I'm not a hero, Eiko.  I'm not even a good person."

Silence settled in to the air between the Children, an almost
oppressive sensation, their eyes meeting only momentarily.  Neil could
see the shock and fear in Eiko's eyes, and as he stared at her he felt
his body react, the tension in his chest growing.  He wanted nothing
more than to reach over and hold her, to make her feel better once
again.  It took him a moment to even realize what he was thinking, and
as soon as it sank in he shook his head and turned away.  "I should be
going," he whispered.

"I don't believe you," said Eiko, her voice just loud enough to catch
Neil's ear and turn him back towards her.  "You're not a bad person,
Neil Richelieu.  You... you can't convince me of that."  She paused,
biting her lower lip.  "I wouldn't want to be around you if that was
true."

The sound of a bell ringing prevented even a second of the Children
staring at each other, and Eiko swiftly turned and snatched up her
lunch as the bell faded and then resumed.  Neil opened his mouth to say
something, but Eiko was moving too quickly for him to catch her, a
quick flurry of motion sending her towards the nearest entrance to the
school.  Before Neil could even fully register it, she was gone,
leaving him alone in the terrace, his mouth half-opened and his chest
only slowly relaxing.

                                  ]++[

Ryo forced a deep breath into his lungs as he let his fingers wrap
around the smooth metal surface of the folding chair, red eyes drifting
halfway closed as he tried to ignore the steady beep of Niobe's various
monitors.  He knew full well what he owed to the girl, but he couldn't
help but feel guilty for her situation, knowing that he could have
tried harder and averted her fall.  It was his fault, and the simple
knowledge of that concept gave him pause, made him regret having come
to her room to speak with her.

Then his fingers tightened, and he pulled the chair out from against
the wall, setting it up directly in front of her bed.  Her position
hadn't changed in any noticable way since the day of the Fifteenth's
attack, her eyes still staring blankly into space.  "Hello, Niobe," he
said calmly, resting his hands against the soft mattress, leaning
towards the girl and idly hoping that she would look towards him.

A moment passed in silence, then he shook his head and leaned back
slightly, his red eyes still falling squarely on the chocolate skin of
the girl's face.  "The doctors still have no idea when you're going to
be able to come out of this, but they've also told me that you can hear
what I'm saying."  He paused for a moment, trying to reconcile another
new feeling surging in his chest.  "I wonder if you heard me the day
that all this happen."

Silence continued to grip the room, and Ryo sighed and leaned back
towards the girl.  "The Seventh Child arrived today," he offered, his
hands tightening against the mattress.  "Rei Ayanami.  Commander Ikari
claims that we're related, but... I don't know her."  He paused.  "She
seems to know me, however."

Ryo bit his lower lip, then inched the chair closer to Niobe's bed,
almost seeming ashamed by the motion.  "There are so many things that I
don't understand, Niobe.  There are so many things that I wish I could
ask you, now that I... now that I understand what I am."  He paused
again, the pressure of his teeth against his lip growing harder, then
he inched the chair closer to her head, a slight screeching noise
filling the air.

"Do you think that it's a bad thing to be a tool?" he asked, letting
himself stare into her blank eyes, blocking out the steady beeping
noise of her various monitors.  "I suppose that I always knew what I
was.  I knew that I was Commander Ikari's tool for piloting the Eva,
that I was his tool for determining more about the nature of what made
us Children."  He paused, leaning closer to the girl, his voice
dropping in volume.  "I never thought about it before, though.  I never
questioned it.  I just was curious about what it felt like to be in
control of your own life."

Had Ryo been paying attention the displays crowding Niobe's bed, he
would have noticed an erratic beep, a quick spike in the constant
monitors that indicated something out of the ordinary.  But his blood-
red eyes remained focused on the girl.  "Do you know what it feels
like, knowing that you're supposed to do one thing and only one
thing?"  Hesitation gripped him, and he shut his eyes, unsure of why he
was pouring himself out to the girl even if she could hear him.  "Of
course not.  You would have been furious if someone had tried to do
that to you."

More beeping filled the air, the pitch and frequency of the noises
growing even as Ryo ignored them.  "But I wasn't furious," the boy
continued, his hands unconsciously creeping towards Niobe's limp
fingers.  "I wasn't angry.  I didn't even understand that things could
be different."

The noise intensified, but now Ryo was lost in his own thoughts for
what seemed like the first time.  "You tried to explain things to me,
though.  You seemed to genuinely want to show me that there was
something above and beyond the routines I knew."  He paused, his hands
beginning to entangle themselves with Niobe's, eyes never deviating
from the girl's face as his lids opened again.  "You didn't seem to
know that I was a tool.  Not you, not Neil... none of the others seemed
to realize it."

Sighing, Ryo, let his head drop down, missing the slight twitch of
motion from Niobe's free hand.  "There's so much that I don't
understand about what Rei's connection to me is.  There's so much that
I don't understand about -me-.  I... I don't who my parents are, why I
can't remember someone who's supposed to be my sister.  I..."  The
beeping tickled at the corner of his perception for a moment, just
enough to make him pause as he looked back up towards the girl.  "I
think I want you to wake up again.  But I don't even know that for
certain."

Ryo's eyes closed again, then flew open again as the slightest twitch
registered in Niobe's fingers.  Eyes wide, he cast his gaze towards the
beeping machine, then towards the girl's face, watching as her eyes
began to roll about limply.  The boy's mouth fell halfway open as his
hands unconsciously released her, leaning closer to her face as hereyes
began to focus, her eyes narrowing slowly and her pupils contracting.

Hours or seconds might have passed before the girl seemed to finally
focus on something again, her blue eyes seemingly taking in the
existence of the ceiling, slowly looking around the room.  Ryo leaned
closer to her, breathless, and to his amazement her eyes locked on his,
recognition slowly dawning behind them.  "Ryo," she hissed, her voice
barely a whisper, almost lost to the noise of the machines.  "Ryo..."

"Yes?"  Ryo had never known the sensation in his chest before, the sort
of tight anticipation of her next words.  He was amazed with the
thought that he might have somehow awakened her from her slumber, and
could do nothing but gape at her as her mouth slowly opened again,
breath escaping for a moment before she inhaled to finish her sentence.

"...go away."

A few seconds of silence passed, Ryo staring at the girl with his mouth
hanging open, his brain refusing to acknowledge the words that had come
from her.  "Go away," she repeated, still speaking softly, her head
gently tilting away from him towards the nearest window.  For a split
second, Ryo entertained the thought that she wasn't able to say
anything else, but he ruled it out as soon as he remembered that she
had recognized him and said his name.  "Go away, Ryo."

Before Ryo could even begin to deal with the reality of the girl's
statement, the door behind him hissed open, and he whirled his head to
see one of the doctors of NERV's medical division standing there,
seemingly not believing the situation, his white coat fluttering behind
him and his eyes darting between the various monitors.  "Ayanami, did
you tamper with the machinery?" he asked, turning towards the boy and
then flicking his gaze towards Niobe, as though he was incapable of
focusing on any one thing for too long.

The boy gaped for a few seconds longer, then managed to shake his head
as the doctor's eyes widened.  "Holy shit," he muttered, glancing
quickly towards the girl again before leaning out the door into the
hallway.  "Sazaki!  Tatsuki!  O'Connell!  The Sixth is waking up!"

Another second passed, then Ryo felt himself suddenly sandwiched
against the wall as the entirety of NERV's medical staff seemed to poor
into the room, carrying clipboards bearing the familiar red insignia
and white coats that seemed to flutter behind them like wings.  Ryo
watched as they swept into the room, catching distasteful stares from
them when they bothered to look at him at all, and slowly he began to
process Niobe's waking request.  With a tension inexplicably surging
within his chest, he slipped out of the room quietly, leaving Niobe and
the white-robed doctors to their own devices.

                                  ]++[

Misato's fingers were twirled about a thin black thread, just rough
enough against her skin so that she couldn't quite ignore the sensation
of holding it.  It was tied in a loop, the knot resting firmly against
the underside of her index finger as a white cross dangled at the end
of the loop.  The pendant seemed almost oversized for the string, but
both seemed to bear the same natural workmanship - the cross was
smooth, elegantly carved from wood and painted a white that almost
seemed to give off light on its own.  It was beautiful in its own way,
a way that Misato could not remember ever contemplating before.

Her computer was quietly whirring away beside her, set up on the space
that she'd cleared away on her otherwise unusued desk, the deep maroon
NERV emblem visible out of the corner of her eye.  "Didn't leave me
much to work with, Ryoji," she muttered, tapping her foot for a second
before untangling the pendant's threat from her fingers and taking the
knot in both hands.  "Didn't leave -anyone- much to work with."

A few quick twists of the bundled knot, and the thread came undone in
her hands, leaving the cross at the end suspended only by position.
The woman hesitated for just a second, then exhaled sharply and tied
the thread again about the back of her neck, pulling the knot tight
with a flick of her wrist.  It was an awkward feeling, something she
doubted she would grow accustomed to without a good deal of time, but
it fit well enough.  "I wonder if you meant for me to wear it," she
muttered.  "You always were planning things without me knowing."

One tear fell from the corner of her eye, interrupted by a beeping
acknowledgement from her computer.  Wiping her eyes clear, she sighed
and turned towards the display, her jaw setting firmly and her hands
flying to the keyboard.  She had never suspected for even a moment that
she had half as much access to NERV's information databases as she
actually did, but she knew that she didn't have enough to find
everything she wanted.  "Time to see how right you were," muttered the
woman, hitting a quick combination of keys as the command prompt for
her requested information flashed on the screen.

For a moment, the computer simply flashed her an error message, letting
her no quite bluntly that she was unauthorized for the information that
she had requested.  Then the steady whirring noise of the computer
restarted, and the message disappeared, replaced by a blunt
acknowledgement that the information was being searched for.  Unable to
resist the urge the smile, Misato leaned back and waited for a moment,
confident that she was doing the right thing.

"Ayanami Rei."  The name had flashed into existence at the upper-left
corner of the screen, followed quickly by a picture of the girl staring
blankly into space and then by a quick series of notes on her personal
data.  "Born January 1st, 2000... the same day as Ryo.  They must be
twins."  She paused for a moment, frowning.  "How could anyone be
giving birth to children that day?  The entire planet was in chaos,
most of all Japan."

Shaking her head, Misato forced herself to focus on the information,
her eyes skimming over the mundane information at the top of the file
and letting her eyes trace down towards the greater secrets, slowly
scrolling downward.  Her eyes widened after a moment, and a second
later the computer emitted a beep to let her know that she'd hit the
end of the file.

"Nothing.  She's got no personal history whatsoever."  A frown began to
cross the woman's face as she scolled back up, checking again to make
sure that she hadn't missed any details.  "Ryo's the only relative
listed."

Misato bit her lip for a second, then something occurred to her, and
with a few quick keystrokes she closed Rei's profile and opened one for
Ryo.  There was a momentary pause, then his name appeared in the same
position and same blocky font, a second longer passing before his
picture and information appeared.  Misato only had to scroll down
slightly to see what she was looking for, and her frown only darkened
at the sight.

"Ryo is listed as having no living relatives, but Rei acknowledges
him.  They both have the same birthday, they'd have to be twins.  Dr.
Ikari didn't want anyone drawing out the existence of Rei before now."
She paused for a moment, thumbing her chin.  "But why wouldn't he
acknowledge someone who would almost certainly one of the Children?
Why wouldn't he list both twins..."  Another pause, this one of
realization.  "Unless Rei isn't really Ryo's sister.  Unless maybe
she's not a Child like the others are."

The statement sound suitably profound to her, but as Misato leaned back
once again she couldn't puzzle out any other logical conclusions to the
problem of Rei's sattus.  "I need more information," she muttered,
shaking her head and sighing for a moment before she heard the beeping
ring of her cell phone.

It took her a few seconds to become fully cognizant of the fact that
she was being called from Central Dogma, and after a split-second of
trepidation she flicked the small black phone open, pressing it to her
ear.  "Katsuragi," she said, trying to remain calm, hoping that she
hadn't been traced in her hacking of NERV's computers.

"EVA-07 is being delivered," replied the oddly-tired voice of Kozou
Fuyutsuki.  "You're required here for the final transfer paperwork and
for oversseing the procedure, after the mess we had with EVA-03's
transport and infection.  How soon can you be here?"

"Just a few minutes," replied Misato, quickly shutting off her computer
and considering tucking the cross beneath her blouse.  After a moment,
she shook her head at the idea, letting it dangle about her neck as she
shut the phone and stood.  She moved towards the door swiftly, then
hesitated for the barest of moments, her fingers flying to the small
wooden cross instinctively, eyes drifting half-closed.

"I'll find out what they're doing, Ryoji," she whispered, fingers
holding the cross tightly, mentally thanking the man for what he'd left
her to work with.  Then she released the pendant, opening her door and
stepping out, her mind still working on the puzzle of Rei's identity
even as she knew she'd have to try and find another access port.

                                  ]++[

Neil sat inside the darkened entry pug, hands caressing the metal
handrests as he waited for the bloody LCL to soak into the chamber,
wishing not for the first time that he had just not shown up at Central
Dogma.  The last few words of his conversation with Eiko still stung in
his ears, and he was acutely aware of the fact that he hadn't seen
Nieve since then, something having kept him away from the house for
reasons he couldn't explain.  So it had seemed as though the logical
course of action was to go in for synch testing early, to simply get
the other disgusting experience of the day out of the way.

Had he known that EVA-07 was arriving, he might have been more
hesitant, but he hadn't expected Gendou to request a duel between his
machine and Rei's so soon, with the other golem barely even settled in
to the docking area.  A distant suspicion that the commander had
planned to have the Evas fight from the beginning wouldn't leave the
back of his mind, but more than anything he was experiencing his usual
reservations about fighting inside of EVA-01, knowing the touch of its
mind all too well.

Though he had no way of knowing it, Misato was expressing similar
reservations in the Control room, flanked by Makoto and Ritsuko as she
peered up at the commander's position.  "This is insane, sir.  We don't
have any synchronization data on Rei - she's never even activated an
Evangelion unit before.  We need to perform a standard test on her
first."

"You would do well to remember that the Third had never activated an
Eva either.  Moreover, he was piloting one under circumstances of
extreme duress, without any prior training or experience, using a
machine that was far inferior in synchronization capabilities to EVA-
07."  The commander adjusted his glasses quickly, never bothering to
look down at Misato.  "It is more than possible."

"EVA-07's systems haven't even had a chance to be checked out.  There
could be something wrong internally, something we don't know about
yet."  She hesitated, knowing full well she was floundering, then
glanced towards Ritsuko.  "Help me out here, Ritsuko."

The blonde woman's gaze was cold, but there was the slightest tint of
regret behind her eyes, as though she genuinely believed that she was
doing the wrong thing and simply had no other options.  "A field test
is perfectly within the operating parameters of the new unit," replied
Ritsuko after a second, turning away from Misato and towards Maya's
station.  "It's the most advanced Evangelion unit yet.  Any
instabilities in the systems should balance themselves out."

Misato glared at the woman for a moment, then glanced towards the
commander indignantly, knowing that she had lost.  "Makoto, deploy the
dueling weaponry," she muttered at length, shaking her head and turning
towards the main screen.  Kaji's final warning about Rei wouldn't leave
her head, and she found herself idly wondering if Neil was being played
into Gendou's hands.

Predictably enough, the sticky orange-red LCL began to seep into the
chamber after a moment, tickling at Neil's feet and then seemingly upon
his mouth instantaneously.  Forcing himself not to panic, the boy
swallowed the liquid as he'd grown accustomed to doing, letting himself
hack for a second before he felt the presence of the other mind at the
back of his head.  "Two demons of a kind," he muttered, shaking his
head as the cameras came online.

"Both Evangelion units will be launched into the Geo-Front.  Weapons
will be scattered about for your use.  All progressive weaponry has had
its vibrational machinery disabled, making your arsenal completely
nonlethal.  However, the Evas will register any and all damage done to
them, treating the blunted weapons as normal attacks."  Misato's voice
sounded bitter, resentful, and Neil wondered for a moment if she was as
opposed to the idea as he was.  "Launch."

For once, Neil barely even noticed the sensation of being shot upwards
in the golem, his mind slowly extending outwards to the machine's
limbs.  He had too many other things on his mind to worry about the
acceleration.

"Neil is holding at 49% - down from his last sortie, but admirable.
Rei -"  Maya's voice suddenly snapped off as she leaned closer to the
monitor, obviously disbelieving.  "Rei... Rei is holding at 65%.
That's the highest any of the pilots have ever had on initial
activation.  There's no sign of neural feedback, either."

"Keep an eye on her," replied Misato, her eyes watching the main screen
as both machines were displayed, launching opposite one another before
they burst onto the surface.  Their bodies remained rigid for just a
moment before slumping forward into their characteristic hunchbacked
posture, the purple and green of Neil's machine seeming in direct
contrast to Rei's bone-white Eva.  Misato had only seen the other
machine briefly, but it took her a moment to see that cyan ran up and
down the machine's arms, the color seemingly an afterthought to the
stark whiteness.

Almost the second that the launching mechanisms left the Evas behind,
Neil saw Rei's Eva move towards the nearest weapon, her eyes never
seeming to bother looking towards Neil.  It was a surprising level of
decisiveness, and it shocked Neil in to remaining stationary for a
moment before he dove away from his position.  A gunshot echoed in the
air, and Neil was distantly aware of something whipping past him by
scant inches as he fell to his knees and looked quickly for a weapon.

The girl seemed to know how long Neil was going to hesitate for, and an
instant later Neil felt something slam against his AT Field, sending
the octagonal ripples across his field of vision as his fingers closed
around the nearest handle and ripped the weapon up from the surface.
Rei had already fired again, but Neil was on the move, taking a second
to ascertain what he was holding, feeling minor comfort in the fact
that he was using the standard Eva rifle despite himself.  Taking a
deep breath of LCL, he waved the weapon in Rei's direction and began
firing.

Bullets bit her AT Field and the ground around her, but nothing hit
home as Neil forced himself into motion, sending his Eva running in a
circle.  He could feel the frustration from his conversation with Eiko
still burning in his chest, and biting his lower lip he forced the
anger into the most productive direction, keeping himself moving,
distantly feeling the Eva's mind embrace his anger.  Rei, for her part,
seemed to be confused, a sensation that Neil could empathize with from
his own first experience in the Eva.

With a quick movement, Rei suddenly ducked beneath Neil's stream of
fire and whipped around a rocket launcher, firing the weapon in a
smooth motion that caught Neil without the time to even think of
dodging.  His AT Field filled the space in front of him as he felt his
Eva fly backwards, the force enough to knock him backwards even as Rei
fired again.  It was only once the AT Field had calmed that he could
see the bone-white golem again, watching as it casually discarded the
rocket launcher to grip the rifle in its other hand with both hands.

"She's good," the boy muttered, wincing as his machine slammed into the
ground, forcing himself to maintain his focus and sending the Eva
rolling away from its landing spot.  He had little doubt that the girl
would give him the chance to rest for long, and sure enough bullets
sent up clouds of dirt almost the second he had moved, the view around
his machine clouding and blurring.  "Maybe too good for me to even try
to beat."

The comment stung for a moment, but Neil felt his Eva roll to a stop
almost inadvertantly, his thoughts drifting away from the battle at
hand.  "It shouldn't matter to me in the first place," he muttered,
rolling back to his feet and crouching below another swift volley from
Rei.  "Everyone keeps saying that I'm good at piloting this damn
machine, and I don't even want to be here."  A harsh breath choked out
of his throat, and forcing himself to focus Neil grabbed a weapon and
began to bring it to bear.  "Have to do something right, I guess."

"Rei is holding steady at 67%," Maya announced, the slight shock at the
girl's amazing synchronization still clear in her voice.  "Neil is up
to 52%, but there are some cursory traces of low-level neural
feedback."  She paused, letting her fingers dance across the keyboard
for a moment to double-check the information.  "It's odd... there's
nothing wrong with the Eva's interface, nothing to cause the feedback."

"Manually lower the synch ratio," replied Misato, her eyes flicking
quickly back and forth between the main screen and Makoto's display in
front of her.  "If things get too dangerous, we'll abort the duel."
She waited for a second, letting her head tilt slightly back, waiting
for some kind of response from Gendou, hoping that he wasn't trying to
push Neil beyond what he could handle.

Neil had lost all sight of the white Eva, the machine lost in a flurry
of dust and gunsmoke as he tried desperately to line up a clear shot
long enough to get the coveted green blink of his targeting cursor.
She was too fast, too quick to react, leaving Neil to simply run about
and hope that he could avoid any further damage from her.  "It's a
losing battle," he muttered, rolling aside as a rocket lashed out and
slammed into the ground beside him.  "Got to figure out another tactic."

Something about the girl's almost inhuman movements tickled at the back
of Neil's mind, but he ignored it, instead simply ducking as she fired
again and being momentarily thankful that he didn't have his power cord
to be keeping track of.  "She would have severed the thing by now," he
muttered, firing a quick burst from his rifle in hopes of momentarily
distracting her.

Then he felt a sudden flash of realization, and gritting his teeth he
launched himself forward towards where he believed the girl's machine
still was standing.  Bullets bounced off his AT Field and sent out
small explosions of octagons, but he ignored the minor kickback from
each impact, reminding himself that the field would keep him safe.  His
Eva's legs pumped hard against the soil, kicking up new clouds of dust
as he headed forward, hands waiting to grasp at their target.

A quick twitch of his Eva's shoulder cut through the smoke and dust
surrounding the two combatants, and Rei's machine was standing before
him, a bone-white clone of Nieve's now-dead Eva.  Two shotguns were
hanging from the golem's fingers, but as the machine brought them to
bear with uncanny speed Neil was already moving around it.  His AT
Field began to grate against Rei's, but Neil ignored it, hands reaching
forward as he saw the trailing black cord lying behind EVA-07.

Rei had either deduced the boy's plan or simply understood that she had
to protect the cord, sending her Eva flipping aside, twisting in mid-
air to bring the twin shotguns to bear on Neil.  Neil resisted the urge
to curse as he watched the cord flip upwards and begin to snake away
from him, the world swerving around him as he dug in his heels and
lurched to a stop.  A quick glance to the side gave him Rei's position,
and as the bloody LCL grew sharp against his tongue he reached up,
forcing all the concentration he could on his AT Field.  The sound of
Rei's shotguns filled his ears, but he ignored it, fingers stretching
towards the slinking black snake above him.

Fingers closed around the cord as the world exploded in octagons, but
Neil ignored the change as his hands grasped the power cord hard.  In
one swift motion, EVA-01 ejected and retrieved its left prog knife as
its foot slammed the cord down and its right hand tugged it upward.
The LCL around Neil grew a darker shade of red as he prepared to slam
the edge of the blade against the now-taut cord, his eyes flicking
towards Rei almost academically.

Eyes widened for only a second, then Neil brought his knife up above
his head, blocking the girl's downward slash with a prog katana, the
blow falling with the force of a meteor.  Pain rocketed up Neil's arm
as he pushed back against the girl's blade with his own, struggling to
keep the impact away from him.  The two machines were matched in
strength, but her weapon outclassed his, and after a second Neil spat
and slipped aside, his left foot rising off the power cord once again.

"Both machines have had their AT Fields neutralized.  Rei continues at
67%, while Neil seems to be rising slightly at 51%."  Maya's eyes
flicked towards the main screen, watching with seeming horror as Neil
barely slipped away from Rei's downward slash.  "Neither Eva has had
any damage inflicted on them.  The neural interference from Neil's
machine seems to have vanished."

"Could have just been a minor malfunction in the data relay equipment,"
offered Ritsuko, her voice trembling slightly.  Misato flicked her eyes
towards the other woman momentarily, knowing simply from the tone that
Ritsuko was lying.  For the barest moment she wondered why the other
woman couldn't have bothered to come up with a more believable lie, but
a second later she caught motion on the main screen and flicked her
eyes back towards the display.

Neil's right hand remained tightly wrapped around the power cord for
Rei's machine, his feet shuffling about as he struggled to bring the
black connection between himself and Rei.  Her sword was large enough
to be cumbersome at close quarters, but to his annoyance he was at just
the right distance to be slashed at by the girl, the blade flipping
about as she slashed upwards.  Neil stepped aside, then slammed his own
prog knife into the back of the blade, trying to force it further
upwards.

Rei slipped aside, then changed her grip on the blade and stabbed
towards Neil as he struggled to bring her power cord around.  The point
of the katana slipped just past Neil as he found himself stepping in
the same direction as Rei, the black cord inches above the glistening
metal blade as Neil yanked hard in an effort to throw the attached Eva
off-balance.  To his surprise, it worked, and Rei's machine lost its
footing for just a moment, the katana's blunted edge bumping against
Neil's leg even as he struggled to bring around his prog knife.

Then Rei forced herself back, pulling Neil off-balance as well as she
moved the katana slightly.  There was enough space between Neil's leg
and the blade for her to change its direction, the edge positioned just
right to slash into Neil, and seeing the shift Neil gritted his teeth
and launched himself upwards.  The blade whistled just beneath his
feet, and Rei reversed the direction of the blade once again as Neil
hit the ground again and fell into a crouch.

A quick motion of his arm put Neil's knife in the path of Rei's blade,
deflecting the blow and holding it at bay for just a moment.  Neil
remained crouching for a second, trying to think of a decent way to
bring around the power cord still clutched in his right hand, when
Rei's machine suddenly released the pressure on her sword.  The boy's
eyes widened in confusion, then narrowed again as he saw the girl lift
one bone-white leg and kick it into the boy's chin harshly.

EVA-01 fell to its back, still clutching at the power cord as EVA-07
brought the katana over its head for a downward blow.  Thinking
quickly, Neil reached over and grabbed the power cord with his other
hand, then stretched the line in the path of Rei's attack.  Her blow
stopped barely short of cutting through the cord, and Neil took the
chance to raise his legs and kick the white machine backwards with all
the force that he could manage.  His feet slammed square into the
golem's midsection, sending it stumbling backwards.

Neil took a second to take stock of the situation, then gritted his
teeth and began to divert all of the strength he could to pulling the
cord apart.  He knew that it had been designed to withstand immense
amounts of pressure, but he also knew that his machine had done the
impossible before, and as the LCL's blood taste grew sharper against
his tongue he felt the cord beginning to give.  Out of the corner of
his mind he could hear Rei recovering, and gritting his teeth tightly
he forced himself to pull harder.

Only a second passed before EVA-07 was standing over his prone form
once again, this time with the point of the katana aiming down towards
Neil's head.  Panic washed over the boy for a moment, then an idea
flashed into his mind, and surpressing the urge to move he let himself
continue pulling as Rei let the blade's stabbing tip dive towards him.
At what seemed to be the last possible moment, he jerked himself to one
side, sending the katana's tip into his shoulder joint instead of his
face.

Pain rocketed along Neil's arm, but he ignored it, forcing the arm to
continue moving and bring the black cord in line with the katana's
blade.  His fingers could feel the vaguest give coming from the cord,
but he ignored it, clenching his shoulder as best he could as Rei
struggled to pull her weapon free.  With all the strength he could
manage, he slammed the power cord against the edge of Rei's weapon,
driving it further into his shoulder even as the cord frayed and
snapped in two.

A hacking cough escaped from Neil's lips, tainted with blood as his
hands flew towards the still-embedded katana.  He hadn't thought that
Rei would have been able to hurt him so severely in a training
simulation, but it was only a peripheral consideration in his mind as
she released the katana, ejecting the frayed remnants of her power cord
and heading towards the nearest alternative feed port.  Wrapping his
fingers around the blade, Neil yanked it free and pulled himself to his
feet, letting the weapon fall to the ground as he began chasing after
Rei.

"EVA-07 is currently running off auxiliary power.  Synch ratio remains
steady at 67%.  EVA-01 has taken damage to the shoulder area, but it is
still fully capable of functioning."  Maya paused for a moment, her
eyes darting towards the main screen as the two Evas began running.
"There's been tearing of the musculature and some of the neural relays
to the arm.  Rei managed to cut fairly deep."

"Those weapons are supposed to be blunted," snarled Misato, her brown
eyes narrowing as she turned up towards the commander once again.
"Sir, Rei shouldn't have been able to do that without the progressive
katana being fully active.  If there are live weapons on that field, we
should -"

"We cannot abort an operation against an Angel because it does
something unexpected," replied Gendou flatly.  "There has been only
minor damage to EVA-01.  The duel will continue normally."

Misato resisted the urge to object again, her eyes flicking quickly
between the main screen and the commander.  She was increasingly
concerned about Neil's safety, and while she could think of no reason
why Gendou would want to eliminate the Third Child the suspicion
wouldn't leave her thoughts.  Sparing a quick glance towards Ritsuko in
hopes of some support from her former friend, Misato sighed and turned
back towards the main screen, painfully aware of her inability to do
anything.

The bone-white form of Rei's Eva was almost lost in the cloud of dust
its feet kicked up, but Neil forced himself to keep a solid view of
her, his prog knife still gripped tightly, his feet hammering against
the ground.  Bloody LCL stung against his lips as he saw the other
machine freeze in place, obviously at the power feed location.  His
breath coming hard, he lunged forward, lashing at the girl with a
single striking motion.

Rei seemed at first to ignore him, then in one swift motion she whirled
about and slammed her prog knife into Neil's, deflecting the blow
harmlessly as the machine's other arm thrust towards Neil's
midsection.  There was barely a moment to react before the girl's
second knife had slammed against the surface of his chest, joined
shortly afterwards by the first knife drilling into his left side.

Blindingly cold metal snapped through the surface of Neil's skin and
sank deep into his flesh, and he screamed as the world around him
turned red.  His heart skipped a beat as he felt himself hack up
another wad of blood, the liquid clouding the LCL directly in front of
his eyes as he staggered backwards.  Rei simply watched as his machine
limply walked away, then slammed the replacement power cord into the
port on her back.

"EVA-07's weaponry has pierced the surface of Unit 01's armor!" shouted
Maya, her voice frantic as she redoubled her pace at the keyboard.
"Pilot is suffering from minor shock, but cardiac activity is growing
slightly erratic!  Severe damage to EVA-01's abdomen and pectoral
areas!"

Misato's eyes went wide with shock for a moment, then narrowed with
anger.  "Rei's weapons aren't blunted," she snarled, hesitating for a
moment before looking towards Gendou once again.  "Rei's prog knives
are fully active!  Neil's in serious danger out there!"

Gendou said nothing, simply adjusted his glasses and stared at the main
screen.  Staring upwards, Misato suddenly felt a profound sense of
helplessness, and while she knew that she was technically in charge of
the situation she had little doubt that Gendou would override any
command that she gave.  Turning back towards the main screen, she
glanced quickly at both Maya and Makoto, wondering if either of them
would listen to her if necessary.

Neil could only stare with bleary eyes towards Rei, the pain ripping
through his body too intense to coax any kind of reaction out of
himself.  His hands feebly grasped at the metal handrests as he watched
Rei approach, her knives still at the ready, the wounds in his body
aching at the thought of her renewed assault.  "No," he muttered,
shaking his head, managing a staggering step backwards.

Then the vague presence of the Evangelion unit in the back of his mind
sprang forward, and he felt something like an electric shock spring
through his brain unbidden.  "NO!" he screamed, suddenly energized, his
arms raising as if to push Rei away.  A burning sensation raced along
his arms for a second, then the world in front of him turned a
brilliant white, the tearing noise of an explosion biting his ears.

Inside the command center, silence reigned as Neil's machine let out a
huge burst of energy from its arms, lancing forward and striking Rei's
Eva with surprising force.  A glow began to seep out from the purple
Eva's eyes, then intensified as another bolt lashed out and slammed Rei
backwards, her feet skidding along the uneven ground from simple
force.  "The S2 organ," muttered Misato, her jaw beginning to drop.

His arms burned, and Neil was uncertain of exactly what he had managed
to do, but as he watched Rei regain her footing once again he knew that
he had to keep it up.  Mouth tearing open in a scream, the boy focused
on the indefiniable point in his mind that had blasted Rei the first
time, squeezing and letting out another burst of brilliant white
light.  It was like tensing a muscle that he'd never discovered before,
strangely thrilling at the same time that it was painful.

Rei was recovering, and Neil forced out another blast, the pain
beginning to recede as Rei was sent stumbling further back.  LCL
swirled about him, fading slowly to red, but he ignored the color of
the liquid as he crossed his arms in front of him and then flung them
to his sides, forcing as much energy as he could towards the girl in
front of him.  The blast sent her to her back, the explosion dreadfully
familiar and shocking Neil out of his momentary bloodlust.

Misato could only stare at the main screen, Neil's machine frozen in
position as though waiting for her to react.  She had watched its eyes
flash for just a moment, as the explosion from its attack had raised
and spiked out as if it were a cross.  "Just like one of the Angels,"
she muttered, shaking her head and grabbing the microphone in front of
her.  "Neil?  Neil, answer me!"

Breathing heavily, Neil forced himself to release the handrests.  "I'm
right here," he replied, trying to sound calm.  "I'm sorry... I guess I
just panicked a little.  It felt like Rei's Eva was really tearing me
apart, and I lost it a little."

"It's all right," replied Misato's voice, still sounding more than a
little nervous.  "The duel's over.  Just return to your entry port, and
we'll repair both machines."  She paused.  "Neil... did you see what
you did with that last attack?  The way that it looked was identical to
the energy projections -"

"Of the Angels.  I know."  The boy bit his lip for a moment, then began
walking his machine towards the nearest entry port, watching as Rei
slowly pulled herself back to her feet.  He could remember telling Eiko
that he was a monster, but the knowledge was more painful now,
perilously close to the surface and seemingly tearing its way free.

                                  ]++[

Small beads of sweat were rolling off of Neil's forehead as he stared
at the ceiling, the heat unbearable for reasons that he couldn't
explain.  He had already thrown the sheets off, let his window hang
open to let the cool night breeze trail across his bare chest, but it
wasn't enough to bring his temperature down.  "Wonder if Nieve's doing
any better," he muttered, letting his eyes drift closed for a moment.

He could still see the expression on her face clearly from when he'd
asked her not to stay with him for the night, and it stung horribly to
think of how she felt.  It had been a difficult thing to say, her
reaction notwithstanding, and as he lay in the harshe, sweltering heat
of the night he couldn't help but wish that she was beside him to at
least try and assuage his fears.  But he'd known even before he'd
returned home that he needed to spend the night alone, that whatever he
had to work through had to be done alone.

The though of Nieve made him pause, though, and with a sigh he let his
eyes open once again, letting the guilt sink in slowly.  "There was no
other way to do things," he muttered to nobody, rolling slowly onto his
side as the sweat rolled across his skin.  "I didn't do it because I
wanted to hurt her."  He knew it was the truth, but he also knew that
he had managed to hurt her despite his efforts.

Forcing a sigh past his lips, he let himself move on from the girl,
thinking once again on his conversation with Eiko and his time within
the Eva.  He had never felt the level of raw power at his disposal that
the machine had placed in his hands, almost as if it was growing to
rely on him.  To say that it was disorienting would have been an
understatement, but what scared him most was the fact that he could
still feel the energy rolling along his skin, the odd muscle tension
still sitting within the back of his mind.

"I don't understand," he sighed, clutching his hands into fists,
recalling seeing the mangled chest of his own Eva, knowing how deathly
lethal Rei's intent had been as well.  He couldn't surpress the feeling
of fear welling in his gut, not only at the growing viciousness of the
Eva but at his own slowly-forming bond with the machine.  "I don't want
to be a pilot any longer.  I want to go back to... to something else.
Anything else."

Closing his eyes again, Neil expected to see the green eye of the
machine again, his brain reminding him on some barely-conscious level
that he didn't even know if the green eye was real or simply a
hallucination he'd had after the Third Angel had punched a hole in his
brain.  The question was rendered moot, however, when he saw Rei's bone-
white Eva standing in the darkness of his vision, wielding not her twin
daggers but a gigantic red double-pronged spear.  It was an image that
Neil could remember from his nightmares, and with a start his eyes flew
open once again, his breath beginning to come faster.

Sweat still coated Neil's skin, but it was colder than ice now, brought
on by nervousness and a sudden terror that he was more intimately
involved with the monstrous golems than he wanted to believe.  "That's
ridiculous," he muttered, closing his eyes again, forcing himself to
think back to his battle with the girl.  "She was just participating in
the duel, doing what she was supposed to.  She had no idea that her
weapons would actually cut into me."

Neil took a deep breath, remembering the way that the girl had
approached him with her weapons, the memory surprisingly clear despite
the taint of the blood-red LCL that had surrounded him.  The Evas
couldn't convey an expression from their users, and he knew it, but
there was and had been something that had bugged him about the way she
had moved, something about the way that she'd looked at him.  His mind
slowly moved through the slow and methodical approach she'd made, the
way that her machine had lumbered towards him...

"The Eva," Neil whispered, eyes opening once again as his breath began
to come still faster.  "Something about her... it's like the Eva."

Swallowing hard, Neil clutched at the sheets beneath him, wanting Nieve
beside him even as he felt some concern for her safety trickle into his
head.  Eiko's conversation with him and his experiences with Rei were
wearing on his mind, and even as he struggled to close his eyes once
again he knew that sleep would be a long time coming.  His mouth dry,
the boy struggled to fall to unconsciousness, something grand and
terrifying on the cusp of realization in his thoughts.

                                  ]++[

Outro: Neon Epoch Evangelion is based off of -Shin Seiki Evangelion- by
GAINAX and company.  It is not intended to be a straightforward fanfic,
but it is building off the work of others, and as such it is done with
the utmost respect for the original works and their authors.
Basically, even though this is an original work, it's based off the
work of others, and if you read this, you should go to see the original.

Special thanks to all of the real Children - you know who you are.

Extra special thanks to Joe Augulis for his consultation on the
Japanese portions of the story.  He might not know much Japanese, but
that's more than I know.

Copyright 2002 Eliot Lefebvre.

NEXT EPISODE:
             Define yourself.
             Explore yourself.
             Save yourself.
NEON EPOCH EVANGELION 24: THE END TIMES
"I don't think he even understood exactly what was going on."

                                  ]++[

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