From: eltf@hotmail.com (Eliot Lefebvre)
Subject: [Eva][Fanfic] Neon Epoch Evangelion: Episode 27
X-Original-Date: 23 Feb 2003 21:05:04 -0800


One More Final Pre-Story Warning:

This fanfic is an original take on GAINAX's "Shin Seiki Evangelion."
It contains alternative characters, plots, and a different overriding
internal logic.  It is intended, from the beginning, to be different.
This includes different Children and different histories.  In short: if
the mere thought of someone other than Shinji in the cockpit of EVA-01
makes you queasy, you are in -entirely- the wrong place.  Any and all
flames stemming from this alteration will be mocked mercilessly.  You
have been warned.

And for once, with absolutely no lead-in... the end of everything.

                                  ]++[

               ]+ ELECTRONIC TRANSCENDENCE PRODUCTIONS +[
                                presents

                         ]+ NEON       EPOCH +[
                   ]+ E  V  A  N  G  E  L  I  O  N +[

                   ]+ EPISODE 27: BRING HEAVEN LOW +[

                     By Eliot "Lostfactor" Lefebvre

             Based off of "Shin Seiki Evangelion" by GAINAX

                                  ]++[

God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the 
darkness.
-GENESIS 1:4

                                  ]++[

Neil sat in the tomblike cockpit of EVA-01, bloody LCL washing across 
his body in steady waves, and struggled to cry.  His eyes were 
bloodshot, his body weak from tears and exasperation, but he couldn't 
feel the outrage and terror that he knew he ought to.  All that he 
could perceive was the steady beat of the LCL and the emptiness at the 
back of his mind.

"I can't feel the Eva any more," he whispered, letting bubbles of air 
rise from his lips as he spoke, his hands flexing against the handrests 
as numbness invaded his muscles.  For all his efforts, he'd always 
believed that he would be happy when the Eva's mind no longer clawed at 
the back of his own.  "There's nothing I can do.  It's all over."

"Weakling."  The voice was familiar, and as Neil slowly raised his eyes 
he could see the familiar visage of his double, squatting at the far 
end of the darkened chamber, the red-orange liquid seeming almost to 
melt away from him.  There was only the dimmest light with which to see 
the apparition, but Neil knew full well that a red dagger rested within 
its hands.  "You come this close, and you give it all up."

Closing his eyes, Neil stretched out his mind, fumbling for the beast 
that always surrounded him in the cockpit.  "It's no good," he replied, 
shaking his head and struggling once more to cry.  "Gendou wasn't 
lying.  There's nothing left to connect my mind with EVA-01.  It might 
as well have been destroyed."

"And you think that your ability comes from your mind?" asked the 
double mockingly.  "Gendou told you that, too.  Your ability comes from 
the soul as much as it comes from anywhere.  As long as you're still 
alive, you can pilot this machine."

"No, I -can't-!" snapped Neil, bolting upright and staring at the empty 
space where the other had been seconds before.  He stared for a moment 
longer, then fell back into his seat, cursing his own weakness 
silently.  If he hadn't hesitated in that one instant against Rei, he 
would have been able to destroy her, would have stopped Gendou before 
he had alternatives.  He hadn't even managed to be a monster the one 
time that he needed to be.

The boy crossed his arms across his chest as a slow chill moved through 
the cockpit, then flicked his eyes to one side to see the double 
standing beside him once again.  He was wearing Neil's purple and green 
plugsuit, and the dagger glittered freely in his hand, his eyes staring 
harshly at the boy.  "You're just afraid to try, aren't you?" sneered 
the other.  "It would mean connecting your soul to this monster, and 
you know it.  You're still clinging to something that you're not."

"God damn it, I don't -care- if I live through this or not!" snapped 
Neil, his hand shooting forward and grabbing the arm that held the 
dagger.  The other seemed surprised, but managed to hold on to the 
weapon despite Neil's efforts to wrest it free.  "I want to save the 
others, not myself.  I... I just can't do anything right."

"Coward," snarled the other, yanking his hand free with a strength Neil 
hadn't known it possessed.  Neil gaped, but the double-pronged red 
weapon did not fall on him, and the other simply stood and looked at 
the boy with hateful eyes.  "You're still just as afraid as ever to 
embrace what you are.  The more you say that you're willing to be a 
monster, the more you -"

"If you know, -help- me!" snapped Neil, the words leaping from his 
mouth before he even realized it.  The other started slightly, but Neil 
rose to his feet, his head falling just shy of hitting the metal 
ceiling of the entry plug.  "I... I don't know how else to pilot this 
machine, even if I can.  But I..."  He half-sighed and half-growled, 
the words choking in his throat.  "I'm asking you.  Help me."

The other stared for a moment, then pointed the dagger at Neil's chest 
in one smooth motion, letting the twin red tips dance inches away from 
the boy's heart.  Neil resisted the urge to twitch, sweat beading 
slowly on his brow, and without hesitation the other flipped the knife 
around, pointing the hilt at Neil, his hands holding the blade, 
illusionary blood spilling forth.  "Stab me," whispered the other as 
Neil took the hilt.  "You know where."

Neil stared at the blade for a moment, the thin traces of blood already 
along it, the perfect red metal it was forged from.  Gritting his 
teeth, he moved towards the other, holding the blade at the ready, 
pointing it at the double's heart.  A deep breath tore its way into his 
lungs, his heart pumping like a jackhammer as he prepared to stab.

Then his eyes met his mirror image's eyes, and Neil understood.  
Lifting the dagger and letting out a cry, he slammed the twin points 
into his other's eyes, the red metal vanishing into the twin green orbs 
as Neil pushed with all his strength.

For a moment, the world froze in slow motion, the double smiling 
gradually as Neil watched the blood trickle down.  Then he felt a sharp 
pain in his hands, and saw the slow mist of blood releasing itself from 
his own body as well.  "It starts with the hands," he whispered to 
himself, feeling a new sensation at the back of his mind, still 
recognizably the Eva but in a way that he'd never experienced before.  
"That was how it happened before -"

In an instant, he felt himself torn away, and even as he did the great 
power of his limbs flooded through him once again.  His eyes snapped 
open as the cold cut against his body, and opening his great jaws he 
let loose a roar of triumph.  Above him swirled false snows, but he 
paid them no mind as he dragged himself to his feet, eyes casting a 
green light around him.  There was too much to be done to stay in 
place.  Even as the mechanical shackles riddling his body held him 
down, he forced himself upwards, roaring all the while.

                                  ]++[

Ritsuko's eyes widened as the main screen showed EVA-01, its great 
purple body slowly rising into a standing position, the great roar 
issuing forth from its lips and and noise of cybernetics grinding to 
obediance filling the air.  "He revived it," she hissed, leaning 
towards the screen as flashing alert displays filled the room.  "God in 
heaven, he wasn't supposed to be able to do that!  We shut down all of 
the mechanical connections!"

"Synch ratio at 100% again!" shouted Maya, a small note of triumph in 
her voice even as she frantically worked the console.  "EVA-01's 
biomass is growing in unprecedented directions!  It's replacing some of 
the cybernetic systems with biological equivalents!  All neural 
connections are offline, but it's still synchronized!"

"Fine," Ritsuko spat, whirling towards Maya as anger flashed in her 
eyes.  She would show the boy who had control over the rotting husk he 
piloted.  "Maya, deactivate all life support systems aboard the Eva.  
Remove all circulatory systems.  Initiate necrosis."

Maya started, then turned her eyes slowly towards Ritsuko, a terrified 
expression on her face.  "Ma'am?" she gasped, her shoulders trembling.  
"You - you can't be serious."

"It's our technology that's keeping that thing and its pilot alive.  If 
that impairs our ultimate goals, then we have the ability to remove 
that technology."  She took a step towards Maya, feeling the vaguest 
disconnection from her body as the thin white lab coat rushed around 
her ankles.  "Deactivate every system on that machine.  It will set to 
rot within seconds."

After a moment, Maya turned back towards her console, her fingers 
gently striking the console as if she was moving through thick syrup.  
Then, without warning, she pushed back from her station, standing as 
her fists clenched, turning slowly towards Ritsuko with a firm look in 
her eyes.  "No."

Once again, Ritsuko's eyes widened, but she recovered more swiftly this 
time.  "This time you really -are- overstepping yourself, Maya.  I am 
giving you an order, and I -"

"No."  There was no hesitation in the young woman's voice this time, 
even as her entire body trembled like a willow in a hurricane.  "Dr. 
Akagi... I started working here because I admired you, and that's the 
only reason that I've stayed even while people have left.  I've admired 
your courage, I've admired your brilliance, I've -"  A brilliant 
crimson flushed into Maya's cheeks, and she bowed her head slightly.

"We don't have time for this," snapped Ritsuko, stepping forward until 
she nearly touched Maya, ice flashing from her eyes.  "If we don't stop 
Neil now, everything that we've worked on will be for nothing.  Get 
back to your post and -"

"You're willing to -murder- a -child-!" snapped Maya, lunging forward 
and grabbing Ritsuko's jacket, desperation passing across her face.  
"Ritsuko, for the love of God, look at yourself!  You're letting 
yourself become inhuman!  I... I would follow you -anywhere-, but I'm 
not going to let you continue to -"

Cutting Maya short, Ritsuko grabbed the young woman and flung her aside 
with all the strength she could muster.  It was just barely enough, and 
Maya staggered aside as Ritsuko sat angrily in her chair.  "Fine," she 
snapped.  "If you don't have the willpower to do what's -right-, I 
will."  Her fingers hesitated against the keyboard for just a moment, 
and with quick and determined motions she changed the display, her 
finger hovering above the final keystroke needed to destroy the purple 
Eva.

Then, almost by accident, her eyes fell on Maya.  The young woman had 
crumpled to the floor, and the only thing that Ritsuko could feel was 
contempt at the imperfections in her staff.  It was just enough to stay 
her hand for a moment as she watched Maya cry, her irritation growing 
as the alarms blared louder.  "Maya, you knew all of this!  You helped 
us achieve this goal!  Don't tell me you've changed your mind after all 
that!"

"Shut up," Maya spat, her body shuddering as tears fell from her eyes, 
making small noises as they hit the floor.  "I wish I had never met any 
of you.  You're not trying to save people.  You can't even see what 
you're doing."

Another roar shook the chamber, and Ritsuko found herself unable to 
bring down her finger even though she knew it was time.  Kozou's words 
kept racing through her head about the situation, the lingering doubt 
about whether or not Gendou was truly pursuing the right course of 
action.  She remembered testing Ryo, hearing the Children scream, the 
way that Neil had raced to his Eva every time it seemed worthless.  And 
more than anything, she remembered her mother.

Her eyes fell on the reflective screen in front of her, trembling 
slightly as her hand drew back.  Her hair was no longer the same color, 
her face bore the makeup that her mother had always eschewed, her 
outfit graceful instead of utilitarian.  But even as she stared she 
could recognize the expression, and could remember standing alone in a 
corridor of Central Dogma before it was the heart of NERV, a scared and 
lonely girl hating her mother with all her heart.  "Never like her," 
she whispered.  "Never become..."

"You're just like your mother."  Kozou's words rang in her ears as she 
staggered backwards, hands still locked in position, her steps uneasy 
and off-balance.  "She could never bear to hear it, either."

Without realizing it, Ritsuko had fallen to her knees, her hands 
pressing against her face, lipstick and eyeshadow smearing as tears 
began to pool within her cupped hands.  "I did what I said I never 
would," she gasped, shuddering gently on the floor, the world around 
her seeming to lose substance.  "I... I thought that I just needed 
the... that..."

Choking down another sob, the woman pulled herself to her feet, staring 
at the main screen, the Eva roaring and struggling against its 
weakness.  She knew that the boy inside was hurting, was being used as 
a cog in a machine because of her own lack of compassion.  "He's going 
to turn us all into machines," she whispered, her eyes now off of Neil 
and flicking towards the Magi.  "Gendou wants to take all of us and... 
and God, I helped him..."

Then a shudder raced through the base, nearly sending Ritsuko back to 
the floor, and she realized what was happening.  Squeezing her eyes 
shut for a moment, Ritsuko clenched her fists, forcing herself to 
remain calm, knowing that everyone's eyes were on her.  "Maya," she 
said softly, turning halfway towards the young woman.  "Re-activate all 
of the mechanical systems on board EVA-01.  Disengage all locking 
mechanisms in Terminal Dogma.  Try to override EVA-08's systems."

Maya's face split into a nervous grin, and she took her seat, quickly 
cancelling Ritsuko's previous command and entering another sequence.  
"EVA-01's cybernetics should be online within one minute," she 
announced decisively.  "EVA-08... there's some kind of security system 
in place, holding me out!"

"I know.  I designed it."  Ritsuko resisted the urge to shudder at the 
thought, stepping over to Maya's terminal as the purple Eva on the 
screen roared ever louder.  "Keep trying.  We've got to stop Third 
Impact before it goes any further."

On the higher level, Kozou was staring down at the scene, watching the 
blonde woman begin moving back and forth, working to revive Neil and 
his machine even as alarms blared through the area.  A thin smile had 
made its way across his mouth at the sight, his regrets momentarily 
lifted.  "You're not so much like your mother after all, then," he 
whispered, closing his eyes.

"Dr. Fuyutsuki!"  The shout caught the elder man off-guard, and the 
smile vanished from his lips as he stared down at the lower level.  
Ritsuko was looking up at him, her makeup smeared beyond recognition 
but a strength visible in her eyes.  "We... we could use your help down 
here.  If you're willing."

A brief shudder went through his body, and he nodded curtly to Ritsuko, 
turning sharply and heading towards the elevator door.  His eyes 
drifted half-closed once again, thinkin of the delicate features of 
Yui, remembering the broken way that Gendou had stood in front of EVA-
01 after the first activation.  "Forgive me," he whispered, pressing 
the button and letting the doors slide open.  "But we're only humans.  
We can't substitute for God."

                                  ]++[

The doors that held Neil back crumpled under the pressure of his AT 
Field, the octagonal field ripping forth and hurling everything around 
him away.  It took only a light pressure from his hands to break 
through the doors completely, sending the massive slabs of black metal 
crashing forward into the sea of LCL.  "Your time is over, Ikari," he 
hissed, his voice sounding deeper and more powerful as it roared past 
metal jaws.

He had never, to his knowledge, been so connected with the Eva before, 
certainly not when he was fully conscious of it, but now he could feel 
every inch of the thin and powerful body, could see clearly from its 
green-lit eyes, felt the armor move across his skin as he launched 
himself into the LCL.  There was no disconnection between his own mind 
and the Eva's as he felt the LCL lap against his knees, watching Gendou 
and EVA-08 look towards him in unified shock.  It was heady and 
frightening at once, but he ignored his fright, letting his hands 
clench into fists, letting out a powerful roar that seemed to send 
shockwaves through the entire building.

Gendou was nothing more than an ant on a walkway, and Neil paid no 
attention to him, instead rushing towards the golden monster with its 
hand half-sunk through Lillith, eyes glowing a hateful blue even as 
Neil approached.  Energy crackled around the Second and the Eva, and 
Neil saw Rei raise her arm in almost slow-motion, pointing it in his 
direction and letting a jagged burst of energy lash towards him.  He 
sprang aside with trained reflexes, then launched towards the girl once 
again, muscles tensed in reflexive postures.

Another bolt of energy forced him backwards, the force slamming against 
his AT Field and making him land scant feet away from Rei's position.  
The girl's eyes jumped to his position swiftly, and more blasts struck 
out towards him, now moving like snakes, quick and curving paths 
breaking the surface of the LCL ocean as Neil swung himself away.  He 
could only distantly notice the glow of the red-orange liquid as he 
gathered his own power, forcing it into his voice as he let out another 
roar.

A stream of energy jetted forth from his throat, lashing towards Rei 
and slamming against an AT Field inches away from her.  Neil cursed, 
and Rei brought around another series of snaking tendrils, each glowing 
with lethal intent as Neil flipped back and away from them.  Something 
in the back of his head told him that Third Impact was growing 
perilously close, that he was running short on time to stop Gendou.

Gathering as much strength as he could, Neil let out a roar and charged 
forward, feeling the muscles of his new and strangely familiar body 
bulge underneath the action.  His legs cleaved through the LCL without 
hesitation, sending up great jets of the now-glowing liquid, and his 
eyes burned with a fire intense enough to even seem to give Rei pause.  
But she recovered her nerve almost instantly, and her hand pointed 
towards Neil for only a moment before letting out a river of energy.

The AT Field held, and Neil pushed against the force, his hands 
grasping at the golden golem.  Rei was glowing now, the gold sparkling 
brightly in the cacophony of light, the white surface of Lillith 
seeming to melt into her body even as it spread towards her chest.  
Roaring, Neil struggled, his whole existence pushing to break through 
the force that held him even as he felt his feet slipping, his fingers 
reaching out and clawing weakly at the girl's AT field, trying to find 
a handhold.

It was too much, and the purple Eva went flying backwards, falling to 
its back and skidding along beneath the glowing ocean of LCL.  Neil 
felt the scraping floor beneath him, and felt a moment of despair 
before a fire of revenge started itself again within his gut.  "Nieve," 
he hissed, feeling something jerk him to a stop.  "I won't.  I won't 
fail.  I won't let that happen."

Neil's hands flew to the object that had stopped his motion, assuming 
that it was the wall, ready to pull himself up.  His fingers closed 
around a ridged and twirled shaft of red metal, and after a second of 
confusion he closed his right hand around the object completely, 
lurching to his feet while his hand remained beneath the surface.  "I 
understand now," he muttered.  With a baleful stare at Gendou, he 
pulled the great red spear from beneath the surface of the bloody 
liquid, letting the LCL drip away from it for just a moment.

Even though Gendou was tiny in Neil's eyes, his shock was visible.  
"The Lance of Longinus," gasped the doctor.  "Rei, you must accelerate 
Third Impact!  Do not allow the First to attack you with that weapon!"

A sound like trumpets pierced the air for a third time, and Neil lunged 
forward, his hands closed around the spear, the twin red prongs 
pointing towards EVA-08.  The blue glow of the Eva grew brighter, but 
Neil ignored the snaking bursts of energy, running with all his might, 
knowing in his soul that he had only scant seconds remaining to avert 
the disaster that he knew would come.  Focusing, he shoved his AT Field 
outwards, letting it mingle with Rei's and dissipate, leaving both 
machines exposed and vulnerable.

One spear of light stabbed through Neil's chest, another through his 
gut, another through his arm.  He froze for half an instant, but then 
ignored it, letting himself keep moving, the pain burning and spurring 
him onward as the wounds bubbled and closed.  Rei's hand was clenched 
into a fist now, and bolts pierced him left and right, slashing away 
flesh and armor with alarming speed, slowing Neil's approach.  "God is 
coming," the girl said flatly, her eyes burning fiercely.  "You will 
not reach me in time."

Words were beyond Neil now, and he could feel his mind dissolving, 
giving in to something far greater and older.  Only the barest sliver 
of fear remained, and he ignored it as he shoved the Lance forward, his 
muscles straining against Rei's assault.

EVA-08's eyes widened, then went dark as the lance shattered the Eva's 
armor, the great weapon pushing through its body and shoving it closer 
to Lillith.

Neil could only distantly be away of what was going on, feeling a 
burning storm of pain assault his skin as he pushed on the lance, the 
twirled red metal untwirling into two shafts that continued through 
Rei's body and into Lillith.  Not until the spear had passed fully 
through the Second Angel and the cross that it was on did it finally 
stop, and with a last burst of strength Neil gave one last push, 
cracking the cross and sending EVA-08 and Lillith into the glowing sea.

He stood for a moment longer, holding the spear downward, impaling Rei 
and Lillith, before he felt the entire world bleed away into white.  A 
momentary picture of Rei standing naked in a field of light flashed 
into his eyes, and he lunged towards her before everything shattered 
into nothing.

                                  ]++[

"Energy buildup in Terminal Dogma has persisted!" shouted Makoto, his 
fingers racing across the keyboard, beads of sweat flying from his skin 
as he moved.  "There's something approaching Central Dogma at high 
velocity from beyond the atmosphere!"

"EVA-01's S2 organ is at full output!  Synch ratio holding steady at 
100%!  No sign of activity from Unit 08!"  Maya turned towards Ritsuko 
with a panicked expression, obviously aware that something had gone 
wrong.  "Dr. Akagi, what are we -"

Ritsuko frowned for a second, then glanced towards Kozou, standing only 
a few feet away.  He nodded, and shutting her eyes she flung herself to 
the gray metal floor.  "Everybody, get down!" she shouted, putting her 
arms over her head.

The tecnicians around her followed her movements, and a second later 
the entire world seemed to turn upside down.  Ritsuko could feel the 
floor beneath her buck upwards and almost fling her off, her body 
sliding across the slick floor into what might have been a wall, Maya 
crying out in pain as her eyes snapped open once again.  The entire 
room was shaking in great, violent shudders, the alerts flashing on 
even more intensely as the command level pitched forward.

"God," shouted Kozou, pulling himself to his feet as the force 
subsided, trying his best to balance against the slope of the floor.  
"Makoto!  Maya!  Get back to your stations!  Makoto, pull up a display 
of Lillith's chamber in Terminal Dogma on the main screen!  Maya, try 
to eject EVA-01's pilot!"

Clumsily, Ritsuko pulled herself to her feet, her heels slipping 
slightly against the now-sloped floor.  Glancing back and forth, she 
could see Makoto and Maya trying to follow Kozou's orders, Makoto 
holding his left arm close against his body, Maya limping slightly as 
she braced herself against the computer console.  "That's it?" she 
asked Fuyutsuki, feeling a sharp pain in her right shoulder.  "That's 
the end?"

"Not yet," replied the elder man, staring grimly at the main screen.  
EVA-01 was in spasms, its fingers clinging to the haft of the lance as 
it fell to its knees, bolts of light racing across its body.  "Gendou 
managed to call God to Earth, but Neil took it from Rei.  It's in his 
hands now."

Before Ritsuko could ask another question, she felt the base shudder 
once more, and she could see the force that ran along EVA-01's body 
beginning to lash out intermittently.  "This base isn't safe any more," 
she shouted, forcing herself not to feel the guilt bubbling at the back 
of her mind.  "Everyone, move towards the nearest functional exit and 
try to reach the Geo-Front!  Evacuate Central Dogma at all costs!"

                                  ]++[

Fish.  That was what the world consisted of - fish.

His mind was too dull to comprehend anything beyond the existence of 
the fish.  They swam around him and apart, and he breathed and moved 
through the dark ocean that had no color for him.  A vague taste of 
salt always clawed at his throat, and he could only sate it for a 
moment by plucking out a fish and devouring it.  The bones splintered 
under his jaws, the flesh shredded, and the blood slid with it all down 
his throat to his stomach.

None of it affected the pain in the abyss of his stomach, though he 
could only dimly consider the fact that it should.  All he knew was 
that it was the way of things to reach out and snatch one of the fishes 
with his appendages - he did not have names for such things - and eat 
them.  Names and logical thoughts were alien and foreign to them, and 
though he sometimes felt as though they were important he ignored and 
eschewed them.

All that he was certain of that reached beyond his existence in the 
salty ocean was the fact that there was such a thing as a name, and 
that he might have possessed one at one point.  It was an important 
concept, but he could not place it any more concretely than that.  So 
he swam and ate, ate and swam, circling around the chance that he might 
have had a name to think of, and time passed.

It was not until he saw the light for the first time that the concept 
of time even made sense to him.  There was the ocean, and fish, and 
that was that - nothing changed, not the dim light by which he saw, not 
his hunger, not his strength.  But when he saw the speck of something 
different out of the corner of his eyes, he knew that there was 
something unusual going on, something was happening.  And once again 
his brain registered the fact that a name was within him.

Thrashing his appendages, he moved himself towards the unknown object, 
one that created the need for names.  As he swam, he realized that 
there had to be some way to distinguish, that the simple concepts of 
"self" and "other" and "world" no longer sufficed to define 
everything.  It frightened him, but with no concept of fear he 
continued, unaware that he should be given even the slightest pause in 
his movement towards the unknown thing.

With steady motions, he moved about to observe the thing, confused.  It 
was similar to him, he could tell - the same appendages in the same 
arrangement, though it lacked his magnificent skin and replaced it with 
something ugly.  Its jaws were different, face odd, but it was like 
him, not the fishes - and as he realized this he knew that he was 
different from the fishes, that there had to be something beyond the 
ocean.

A trembling appendage reached out to touch the new thing's skin, and it 
brushed against it lightly.  Thoughts clustered in his head as if 
trying to force their way through a small doorway, as if a river was 
waiting just outside.

Color faded into the world, and the pink skin of the thing became 
clear, the wide green eyes, the light yellow hair.  And he could see 
his own colors - the purple hand, the black forearm, the green bar that 
proudly proclaimed name.  "EVA-01 Test Type," he read silently, his 
brain railing against the identification.  "Neil."

Water turned deep orange, and Neil's hands flew to his head, feeling 
the smooth surface of EVA-01's helmet, the ornamental horn, everything 
that he knew all too well.  "No," he whispered, moving back as the eyes 
of his body flicked towards him.  "This isn't my body.  This... this is 
EVA-01!"  He turned towards himself, realizing with fright that he was 
the same size as the other.  "You!"

"Yes," replied Neil's double, smiling mischeviously.  His hands jerked 
out and grabbed the boy by the shoulders, and his mouth opened, the 
teeth great jagged things of red metal, the jaw splitting open to 
swallow Neil's body.  Neil kicked and thrashed, then felt the teeth of 
the double tear into him, pulling his body to pieces, the ocean 
swirling around them -

"-NO!-"  Everything exploded in a shattering of glass, and Neil found 
himself standing atop a great mountain, clouds torn about its spire, 
his body restored and his plugsuit tight against his skin.  His breath 
came quickly, and he fell to his knees, amazed by the view around him, 
mind trying to puzzle out what had happened.  Had he been within the 
Eva again?  Did he avert Third Impact?  Where in the world was he?

A hand brushed against his shoulder, and he sprang to his feet, only 
slowly becoming aware of his environment, the sheer amount of space on 
what should have been a sheer peak.  It was arranged almost like a 
theater, clear space all around, with individual spires reaching 
upwards as if remembering a removed peak.  In the midst of it stood 
Neil, and staring at him was Kaworu, a thin smile across the boy's face.

"Kaworu?"  The name awkwardly tumbled past Neil's lips as he stared at 
the boy, taking a step backwards, his eyes scanning the pale skin half-
hidden by thick brown robes.  "Where are we?  What in the world is 
going on?"  He paused, then frowned.  "Are you really Kaworu?"

"If you like," replied the boy, stepping towards Neil and letting his 
red eyes flash in the sunlight.  There was an energy about them, 
invisible but tangible, and it forced Neil backwards as light began to 
stream into the bare peak.  "My name is irrelevant."

Light was spilling in and growing in intensity, nearly blinding Neil, 
his feet taking awkward steps backwards as Kaworu walked forward.  
"What's going on?" he shouted, trying to make out the silhouette of the 
boy as the light intensified.  "Where am I?  Is this Third Impact?"

"Perhaps."  An odd echoing quality had seeped into Kaworu's voice, and 
Neil had the distinct sense that the boy would soon vanish into a 
flutter of light, the searing whiteness growing ever brighter around 
them.  "You know nothing of the Impact or of what has happened thus 
far; why should you be concerned?  Brought into life in dull ignorance, 
so you shall be judged.  So shall all of humanity be judged."

Judgement.  The concept seemed to flip a switch in Neil's mind, and he 
stopped retreating, finding that he was still being pushed towards the 
edge of the mountain.  "No," he commanded, trying to step forward, 
feeling something shoving him backwards.  "No!  Judge me, but leave the 
others alone!"

Crouching and springing forward, Neil reached his hands out for the now-
indistinct form of Kaworu, but the other boy raised an arm casually, 
letting Neil slam against the octagonal surface of an AT Field.  
Bounced backwards, Neil felt himself tumble through the air, then the 
field slammed into him once again and sent him flying out through the 
air above the sea of clouds.

The wind whipped around Neil's body as he was cast from the mountain, 
the point of light on the peak growing ever more distant as he began to 
arc downward once again.  Panic rose in his gut, and he reached out 
weakly towards the spire, wishing that he had some way to bring himself 
closer once again.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw his other materialize in a beam of 
light, clad in the same dull robes as Kaworu.  "You!" shouted Neil, 
trying to move towards the double as they fell along the same path.  
"You're in control here!  Help me!  What in the world is -"

"I have no power here," replied the other as they plunged through the 
clouds, the beads of moisture whipping against Neil's skin and suit for 
a second before they broke through the cover into a storm of rain.  
Beneath them sprawled a huge desert that seemed to reach forever, rain 
driving towards it with anger.  "Not with only half of myself."

"Then how do you complete yourself?" shouted Neil, feeling the ground 
hurtle ever closer.  "Tell me!  We can't let him stay up there!  Third 
Impact - if we don't stop it, everything's going to die!"

Particles of water seemed to fall into slow motion around the pair as 
the other turned towards him slowly.  His mouth opened slowly, then 
dissolved into a mass of LCL as the world around Neil jerked itself 
into nothingness, washing away in great waves of the bloody liquid that 
streamed across his vision, heat burning against his skin, handrests 
against his palms, his body feeling oddly unfamiliar.

A sound of wrenching machinery filled the air, and Neil felt the 
cockpit fly backwards, hurtling through the air and flipping end over 
end, the LCL buffering the shock as it slammed down hard and continued 
to tumble.  Only when it had ceased moving completely did the liquid 
spray out, leaving Neil alone in the cockpit to cough blood and LCL 
onto the seat.

He was back in his previous clothes - a teal button-down shirt, 
slightly loose jeans, sneakers, nothing unusual.  They felt slightly 
tigheter than before, but it seemed to be hardly worth noticing, and it 
was only after a moment of silence that he decided to try and open the 
hatch himself.  Reaching up, he gave a slight push on the metal hatch, 
and the curved metal moved away at the gentle force with hardly a 
protest.

The sun struck him in the face as the hatch opened, and he 
instinctively shielded high, thinking only afterwards that he should 
have been still within Terminal Dogma.  Pulling himself awkardly to his 
feet, Neil felt a cool breeze wash across his skin as he looked around, 
his green eyes wide with shock.

What was once the Geo-Front seemed to have had the top sliced off - 
instead of the massive cavern it had once been, it was like a gigantic 
bowl carved into the land, with Neil sitting at the center.  Metal 
fragments surrounded him, and he could see his Eva standing, 
motionless, the Lance of Longinus still gripped tightly, its pale white 
eyes staring hatefully down into the depths of the wreckage surrounding 
it.  The wreck stretched wide around, and at the edges were new pieces 
of machinery that Neil didn't recognize, sectioning off his seeming 
memorial from the tall white buildings that surrounded him.

Climbing weakly out of the cockpit, he jumped down on the loose pile of 
metal shards, then his eyes widened as he noticed a teal-gray piece in 
the wreckage, the unmistakable NERV insignia etched onto it.  "This was 
Central Dogma," he gasped, looking back towards EVA-01.  "What - how 
could all this have happened?"

As if in response, the chopping noise of helicopter blades filled the 
air, and Neil glanced around for a second to see a small group of 
angular green vehicles flying towards him, the same red NERV insignia 
etched into their wings, twin rotors suspended above them as they swung 
low towards him.  He had only second to observe those helicopters 
before he saw more people rushing towards him past the unfamiliar ring 
of buildings surrounding the wreck.

Panic seized Neil in an icy grip, and he began moving towards the Eva, 
unsure of what protection it could offer him but knowing that it had 
responded to him at least once before.  Glancing towards his pursuers 
on foot, Neil saw the group more clearly - a red uniform leading a 
group of black, distantly related to the familiar NERV outfit but a few 
steps removed.  The fear grew, and he moved more swiftly even as he 
heard the steps behind him, the blades growing louder with every 
passing second.

One step fell on a loose piece of metal, and Neil felt his legs give 
out from underneath him, sending him falling upon the hard pile of 
scrap.  He pushed himself roughly to his feet in what seemed like an 
instant, but by that point he knew he had no chance, and he felt a firm 
grip on his shoulder spinning him around.

The red-uniformed officer was smirking, and with a smooth motion she 
removed the beret that sat loosely upon her head, letting her short red 
hair fall free and curl slightly underneath her chin.  "We've been 
watching you for long enough now, Third Child."  Her arms folded across 
her chest, over the small black badge that indicated her identity and 
rank in the organization.  "You didn't think we'd let you get away 
again, did you?"

Neil's eyes widened.  The uniform was unfamiliar, though he recognized 
traces of Misato's - the bright blood-red color with golden piping, the 
conservative skirt hovering just above the knees, the triangular zipper 
lowered just enough to be suggestive.  The woman, too, wasn't 
familiar.  But there was something in the twinkle of her green eyes 
that spoke volumes about her, and Neil felt himself moving closer 
despite himself.  "Nieve?"

A single tear rolled down the Irish woman's cheek, and she lunged 
forward to embrace Neil, her dry cheek nuzzling against his.  "Thank 
God," she whispered, pulling him as close as she could.  "I missed you, 
Neil."

                                  ]++[

Four huge, incomprehensible years had passed since the averted Third 
Impact, and all the while the world had deified a hero that had been 
thought dead and alive in turns.  Neil was briefed on the whole 
situation by Nieve in one of NERV's VTOL helicopters - as she put it, 
the most convenient method of transportation, since even Niobe wouldn't 
be able to keep the hordes of gawkers away.  "They've spent every day 
waiting to see you," she explained, looking through one of the small 
cubic windows towards the ground.  "I can sympathize."

It had been one revelation following another, and Neil had been silent 
for most of the ride, only asking questions on the few occassions where 
Nieve was speaking too fast to explain everything that she talked 
about.  He was still feeling uncomfortable in his body - he had no 
sense of the massive time shift, and as far as he was concerned he was 
not a twenty-year-old man.  But it seemed to be beyond his power to 
change, and he accepted it with all of the dignity he could muster.

Nieve, on the other hand, seemed radiant, and as the helicopter touched 
down just outside the familiar old apartment building he couldn't help 
but be amazed at the way that she'd grown into a radiant woman.  The 
winds swirled about her fine red hair, but she ignored it as she led 
Neil off the helicopter, their feet touching down against pavement, 
Neil's eyes flicking back and forth to see the mass of people held back 
by blockades.  "They're intent on seeing me, aren't they?" he asked, 
feeling somewhat confused and jamming his hands in his pockets.

"Little chance of them getting through."  Nieve smiled and winked, then 
led Neil towards the building, the door opening to allow them both in.  
"Niobe couldn't keep the whole city away from your path, but she could 
keep the building fairly secure.  I half-expected Eiko to try and slip 
past her, but obviously she had better things to do."

"She's a reporter now, right?" asked Neil as he followed Nieve into the 
whitewashed building, simply trying to keep everything straight.  The 
girl - no, she was a woman now - nodded, leading him towards the silver 
doors of the elevators, past the doors leading to the laundry room and 
the common area without hesitation.  "She and Vash are the only ones 
that aren't involved in NERV."

"Vash is peripherally involved, remember?" replied Nieve, the giddy joy 
audible just beneath her voice as she pressed the button for the 
elevator.  "Liason between NERV and the Japanese government.  And how 
long have he and Eiko been married?"

Neil frowned, then shook his head.  Nieve shrugged and laid a hand on 
his shoulder, pulling him with her into the elevator.  "It's a trick 
question.  They broke it off when she decided to go to college and he 
took his post with the government."  The elevator doors slid shut.  
"But let's not talk about them."

Before the boy could say anything, Nieve's body was pressed against 
his, holding him against the slick metal walls of the elevator, her 
lips fumbling against his as her tongue brushed against his.  Overcome, 
Neil could only let himself be pinned against the wall, drinking in her 
scent, the familiar odor of the girl mingled with the plastic scent of 
the uniform.  His hands embraced her tightly, his tongue returning her 
affections, the kiss seemingly endless until the elevator dinged its 
arrival.

A quick touch of his cheek, and Nieve was off, striding down the 
hallway with determination, the sunlight streaming in from the windows 
as she beckoned Neil to follow.  He smiled distantly, then followed 
behind the woman, watching her trace her way towards the same apartment 
that he could still remember so clearly, even though she claimed it had 
been four long years.  It was surprising how similar everything seemed, 
even with the changes that Nieve had described.

"Misato left it to me," she explained almost apologetically, turning a 
key in the lock and letting it click open.  "I just didn't have the 
heart to leave, not after what happened.  I suppose I would have gone 
to work for NERV's Irish branch, but as it was there was nothing else 
for it but -"  She paused, then frowned at the boy.  "Did I already 
explain this to you?"

"Could have," replied the boy - no, just as Nieve was a woman, he was a 
man, like it or not - as he stepped with her into the familiar 
apartment, slipping off his shoes and kicking them to one side as he 
had grown accustomed to.  "I really don't know.  Four whole years... 
it's a lot to take in all at once."

"You've got other things to catch up on besides that," replied Nieve, 
beckoning towards the living room as she walked swiftly, a smile of 
obvious intent on her face.  Neil blushed, then followed, something 
vaguely disturbed tickling at the back of his mind.

The door to Misato's bedroom was open, and Nieve had unzipped the front 
of her jacket, letting it hang open around her.  Neil could see the 
thin lace that caressed her skin beneath the jacket, and something 
unseen gave him a push towards her, his hands reaching out to embrace 
her.  "You're beautiful," he whispered.  "You always were beautiful."

"Neil..."  The woman buried her head in his shoulder for a moment, her 
thin hair tickling his chin.  "I haven't been perfectly faithful, you 
know.  I've taken lovers... some for work, some not.  It was just so 
hard, waiting for you to come back, not knowing if you would."  She 
paused, then lifted her head and eyes to meet his.  "Do you blame me?"

Smiling, Neil pressed his lips against hers once again, letting his 
tongue dart out and meet hers, the comfort of her touch setting him at 
ease once again.  He only dimly understood what was going on, but he 
had faith in Nieve to guide him, and if she had forgiven him he knew it 
would turn out for the best.  His words lingered on the tip of his 
tongue as he pulled away, looking her in the eye, mouth half-opening to 
speak.

Then he froze.  A shadow, almost invisible, moved across her eyes, and 
Neil felt something within him stir violently.  "You're not Nieve," he 
whispered, releasing the woman and staggering backwards.

The woman watched him, confused at first, then seemingly unconcerned, 
her arms falling loosely to her side.  In horror, Neil watched as the 
emerald of her eyes seemed to bleed out, replaced by a blood red to 
match her uniform.  "No," she replied, her hair beginning to shift hues 
as well.  The voice was familiar, but it was not Nieve's.

"Rei," gasped Neil, taking a step backwards as he felt the alien 
quality of his body evaporate.  A quick glance told him he was once 
more sixteen, and he began moving backwards more swiftly as Rei 
approached.  "How are you -"

"We were created as vessels," Rei said flatly, lunging towards Neil, 
her featues seemingly superimposed over Nieve's.  He tumbled aside, 
moving back into the kitchen as she recovered from the missed lunge.  
"Ryo, the Evas, and I... all were meant to be vessels for God to come 
into this world.  Gendou planned every step of it."

"Good Lord.  Third Impact isn't over."  Neil's eyes flashed with anger, 
and he stepped into the kitchen as Rei drew herself up once again.  
"Where are we?  What's going on?  You set this whole thing into motion, 
you must know how to stop it!"

Nieve's body was beginning to melt into the younger form of Rei, the 
robust but slender limbs being replaced with Rei's thinner and more 
willowy appendages.  "God comes to Earth to judge.  The Lance of 
Longinus calls him.  That was what the council wanted from the 
beginning."  She lunged towards Neil once again, moving as if she was a 
marionette, and once more the boy moved clear or her.  "But Gendou knew 
that it would bring no peace.  He knew that morality had to be purged 
from this world.  There is no right or wrong."

Rei's hands flew towards the first drawer she could find, tugging it 
open and drawing forth a pair of knives.  Neil's blood ran cold, and he 
gritted his teeth as he caught a flash of light out of the corner of 
his eye.  "How did you intend to do that?" he asked, eyeing the girl 
with caution.

"The vessel.  Ryo, myself, and the Eva - blank templates to absorb and 
channel God, instead of calling him."  She lunged towards the boy with 
the knives in motion, nearly slashing through his sleeve.  "But you 
disrupted everything.  You called God from us into yourself.  He must 
be returned."

Another stab lashed out towards Neil, and instinctively he raised an 
arm, feeling the sharp metal of the knife bite into his skin even as he 
saw the walls around him melt into nothingness.  "No," Rei said firmly, 
stabbing towards him with another knife even as he grabbed her wrist.  
The knife went wide, and Neil shoved the girl backwards, disarmed and 
separate from him.  Her clothes now hung loose around her, but she 
seemed to barely notice.  "You will not escape me, not now that you -"

Without another word, the girl's body burst into LCL, and the room 
melted into a pure field of light as Neil tugged out the knife from his 
arm.  The wound bled for a moment, then seemed to seal over itself, and 
with a relieved sigh he discarded the weapon into the nothingness.  
"Third Impact hasn't ended," he muttered, glancing around the light, 
trying to find some kind of guide.  "She said that she and Ryo were 
supposed to be a vessel for God... I've got to figure out what the hell 
they're talking about.  It can't actually be... God."

"So certain?"  The voice of the other was mocking as Neil whirled to 
face him.  He was still clad in the dark robes from before, but the 
Lance of Longinus was slung across his shoulders, his arms holding it 
in place as if it was a feather weight.  "You presume much to know the 
ways of a deity."

"Don't try to mock me," replied Neil, stepping towards his double 
resolutely.  "NERV is all about science.  It's about understanding the 
Angels and the Second Impact.  We might be dealing with things beyond 
human comprehension, but they're just -called- Angels."

"Oh?  You know nothing, Neil.  You didn't even know what the Third 
Impact was until you were told."  A sinister grin spread across the 
face of the other as he slung the spear off of his shoulders.  "Who 
named them Angels, Neil?  Who began all of this?  It was the same 
organization that you fight against now.  NERV, Gehirn, SEELE... call 
them whatever you want.  They were devout then, and they are devout 
now."

Neil's eyes went wide at the concept, but he shook his head even as he 
felt icy winds begin to bite into his skin.  There was snow beginning 
to whip through the air as the light faded, and Neil could feel the 
chill.  "How would you know any of this?" he asked.  "Who are you?"

"Your fairy godfather.  Whatever I am, Neil, that's beside the point."  
The other boy smiled and leveled the great red spear at him even as the 
landscape became clear, the barren fields of Antarctica.  "I'm not on 
trial here.  I'm not even the judge.  You're the one under examination, 
and you need to stop stumbling around and get to the heart of the 
matter."

"Examination...?"  A light was growing in the skies, and Neil could see 
the form of something female hurtling down from the atmosphere.  Though 
he knew he remained in the same spot, he could see her more clearly - 
gargantuan, white as a bone, holding the great twined red spear that he 
remembered so clearly.  And he could see her destination, recognized it 
even without the armor.  Involuntarily, he gasped.

"Lillith was called.  Humanity's trial began.  They were to produce 
their best and brightest in this era, to overcome obstacles and serve 
the will of God."  The double smiled as Neil felt himself hurled back 
into his place.  "But Ikari found a way to cheat the process.  Shame 
that it's backfired on him.  Now you're in control of the whole thing, 
and I have to say that I don't think you're up to it."

For a moment, Neil gaped, then he frowned and lunged towards the 
double, stepping away from the spear's tip even as he shoved it away.  
"You got me into this!" he shouted.  "You're the one that gave me 
control of the Eva when it was shut down, when I should have just sat 
there."

"And I was to know that you would use the Lance without thinking?  I 
was to assume that you would take things so thoroughly into your own 
hands?"  The double smiled, then let his lance drop.  "Irrelevant.  
Face yourself, Neil.  I suppose there's nothing else for it.  Look, 
it's starting."

The meaning of the words was lost on Neil for a moment before he saw a 
great pillar of light erupt into the sky, spreading into the shape of a 
cross as the shockwave expanded and consumed.  In a drift of snow, the 
double vanished, and Neil could do nothing but watch as the Second 
Impact played out before his eyes, the pure force washing over him and 
sending daggers of hate through his mind.

                                  ]++[

"God DAMN it, Neil!" screamed Nieve, pulling with all her strength 
against the slowly yielding remains of her restraints, feeling the hard 
pressure on her arm as she struggled for freedom.  Then another shock 
rocked the world around her, and she felt her arm burst free, provoking 
a shout of triumph.  Smiling as she flexed the newly-freed arm, she 
disengaged the remaining restraints from her body, awkwardly climbing 
free as she surveyed the room.

It had fallen at least seven levels, metal twisting beneath them as the 
base seemed to fall apart around them.  The only visible exit was the 
wrecked hole that Neil had made earlier - the doors were jammed shut by 
wreckage, and Nieve could still see traces of dark red blood that 
trickled in from that mass of wreckage.  "All right," she announced, 
glancing at the other Children and Misato.  "Everyone still conscious?"

Weak nods came in assent, and giving a replying nod Nieve set about 
undoing Misato's restraints, letting the woman step down and wordlessly 
signaling for her help.  Between the two of them, it was only a matter 
of a minute before the Children were freed from their constraints, 
though Niobe hung loosely in Misato's grip, obviously still strained by 
the act of walking.

"Central Dogma is falling," announced Ryo flatly as he looked around, 
his eyes peering out over the twisted masses of metal that had once 
been the familiar teal-gray corridors of the base.  "We need to get out 
of here right away.  Third Impact... it will kill us, this far from the 
center of operations."

"Are you serious?  Neil is still down there?"  Nieve's voice was 
frantic, her eyes flicking between the other Children, obviously 
searching for support.  "We can't just leave him alone!  He's fighting 
for us!  We've got to try and reach the hangars, and -"

"No way of knowing that the Evas will even be working if we get there," 
replied Ryo, shaking his head firmly.  Something authoritative had come 
over him, as though he was finally sure of himself in the midst of the 
chaos.  "Gendou disabled all of them, I would imagine.  EVA-01 is a 
special case.  Neil is on his own this time."

Nieve's eyes flashed again.  She remembered the awkward pale boy that 
had once seemed so caring towards her lover, and couldn't help but feel 
a lump of bitterness forming in her chest.  Closing her eyes for a 
second, she turned towards the hole in the room.  "Fine.  Escape."  Her 
eyes snapped open in time to see another shattered piece of machinery 
plummet down towards Terminal Dogma.  "I'm going down there.  I have to 
go to Neil."

Misato's hand rested firmly on the girl's shoulder, and Nieve was ready 
to shout a protest before she realized that the woman didn't look about 
to scold.  "All of you, get out of here," she said firmly.  "Evacuate 
as far from the Geo-Front as possible.  Ryo, you should know the escape 
routes well enough, even in this chaos."  She paused.  "Nieve and I are 
going to Terminal Dogma.  We have to."

Vash stepped forward, his blue eyes flashing as sparks of electricity 
flew through the wrecked corridors and fell gently from the fluorescent 
lights in their room.  "I'll go with you," he said firmly.  "Neil... 
Neil's a friend.  We all should go down and -"

"That was an -order-, Vash," snapped Nieve, staring the boy in the eye 
for a moment.  She could see a momentary anger pass across the surface 
of his eyes, then it faded into acceptance, the first time that she 
could remember seeing him back down.  "You need to focus on getting 
Niobe out of here.  She still can't walk that well."

Nodding, Vash reached out to take Niobe, but she forced his hands away, 
staggering into a vaguely stable standing position, but swaying as if 
pushed by an unseen force.  "I will walk out of here under my own 
power," she said firmly.  "I can do that much."

Ryo's eyes met hers for a moment, and stepping forward he took her in 
his arms, ignoring her indignant squawk as he forced her to lean on him 
for support.  "Come on," he said, jerking his head towards the right as 
Eiko and Vash approached the hole in the room.  "We're probably low 
enough now to try and reach one of the emergency access tunnels, but I 
wouldn't count on it just yet.  Step lightly."

The four Children disappeared down the hallway, leaving only Nieve and 
Misato in the room, their eyes meeting in a brief and almost guilty 
glance.  "Any idea how to get to Terminal Dogma from here?" she asked, 
glancing down the abyss that Neil had carved for himself.  "I doubt 
that any of the elevators are still working on this level, and it looks 
like the others took the only viable path."

Misato looked down, then nodded to nobody, as if she approved of the 
damage visited upon the facility.  Removing her jacket, she knelt and 
began slashing it upon the first shard of metal she could find, cutting 
through the red fabric as sweat beaded across her brow.  Nieve could 
only watch as she tore it into four strips, holding onto a pair and 
handing two to the girl.  "The floors look like they can work as decent 
ladder rungs for a ways," she explained, wrapping one strip around her 
left hand.  "Wrap those around your hands and follow me.  And be 
careful - this stuff can cut you."

"I'll lead," replied Nieve firmly, bunching the fabric around her hand 
and stepping to the edge of Neil's tunnel straight down.  Turning her 
back towards it, she felt with her feet for the least jagged point, 
then began her descent, her hands gripping the metal surface even as 
she felt it shudder in her grip.  "Hurry!  This might not last much 
longer!"

No sooner had the elder woman nodded and begun her descent than the 
base rocked violently once again, a shaft of light piercing the metal 
only a few feet away from where they climbed.  The entire thing tilted 
and groaned, and Nieve felt the world lurch into slow motion as she 
lost her grip, fumbling for a second before falling backwards, Misato 
following close after.  They were falling towards Terminal Dogma.

Air whipping past her, Nieve felt panic sieze her as she glanced down, 
seeing only brilliant red and white flashes that did little to 
alleviate her concerns.  "Out of my hands again," she muttered to 
herself, feeling oddly disconnected as she fell ever closer, the teal-
gray being replaced with stark black only seconds before a great wave 
of LCL burst up and swallowed her and Misato.

Her motion seemed to stop for a moment, then reverse, then turn back 
towards the ground, as if unseen hands gripped and pulled her.  There 
were glittering specks all around her, obscuring her vision even as she 
felt herself plunge deep into the liquid, her arms and legs kicking 
fiercely to bring her back to the surface without even stopping to 
think if there was a surface.  Waves beat her back and down, and she 
let out a silent cry as she burst back about the salty liquid, her hair 
trailing behind her in a wet mass.

The LCL seemed almost to leap out of her lungs as she stared at Neil's 
machine, its jaws hanging open, the entire body still seeming to force 
down on the lance as if trying to drive it still deeper.  Light poured 
out of it, a green flicker from the eyes almost lost amidst the shafts 
that filled the room.  "Neil?" she whispered.

"It's no use," came Gendou's voice, now hoarse and defeated.  Nieve 
whirled her head towards the slim black walkway not far from her 
position, beginning to swim towards it as she watched the commander.  
"I've been trying to call to him all this time.  He's already started 
Third Impact inside of himself.  Everything rests in Neil's hands."

Misato reached the platform first, climbing up and grabbing Gendou's 
collar, yanking the man towards her as she slapped him.  "What in the 
hell do you -mean- it's in his hands?" she screamed, one hand clenching 
tight enough around his collar for her knuckles to turn white, the 
other waving frantically towards the Evas.  "How do you -stop- this 
Impact?"

"Silly woman.  You -can't- stop the Impacts.  They're out of our 
control."  Gendou was trying to retain his imperious air, but despite 
all of the light flooding the room his glasses failed to reflect even a 
bit of it.  His thin eyes were entirely visible, and they were afraid.  
"Rei, Ryo, and EVA-08... they're blanks.  No morality whatsoever.  They 
were to give God a judgement to pass, to use his power to remove our 
self-imposed shackles, to -"

"-Brainwash- the planet?" screamed Misato, gripping the man's collar 
with both hands, whirling him around dangerously close to the LCL as 
Nieve climbed onto the platform.  "Tell me how to stop this, Gendou, or 
I swear to God I will drown you long before you see the end of Third 
Impact."

"It's LCL.  Oxygenated."  Gendou reached up and adjusted his glasses, 
still looking pitiful in Misato's grip.  "And if we could simply roll 
back the clock and stop this, I would.  But the only one in charge of 
the process now is Neil."  He sighed.  "The only chance left to Rei is 
to reassert her control over the process and finish our task."

"And what about -Neil-?" asked Nieve, trying to shake the LCL out of 
her clothes and hair, painfully aware of her complete loss of control.  
"What's going to happen to him?"

"No idea," replied Gendou flatly, his eyes flicking towards the Evas 
and the Angel, visible through the light that crackled around them.  
"The entire process was flawless, and he disrupted it.  We were going 
to free the souls of humanity, and now... Neil might well destroy us 
all."

Cold cut through Nieve's skin, and she stepped hesitantly towards EVA-
01, the great golem's body still seeming to move despite its perfect 
stillness.  "Neil..."  She could remember the pain on his face as 
though it had been a second earlier, the way that he had gotten into 
the cockpit with such grim acceptance.  Words caught in her throat, and 
all she managed was a small coughing noise before she fell to her 
knees, eyes fixed on the glowing green eyes of his machine.

                                  ]++[

Maya and Makoto were still chanting off data from the pieces of 
equipment they'd managed to salvage, shouting it to whatever officer 
Kozou had delegated authority to.  The old man didn't care.  He had 
seen Ritsuko wander away from the field that they had set up their 
temporary base on, into the lush green woods of the Geo-Front.  It 
seemed to him that there was nothing else to do but follow her, to try 
and say something to her, to let her know what he needed to tell her.

Despite the light spilling out of the shattering pyramid that was 
Central Dogma, the woods were still surprisingly dark, devoid of life 
but feeling alive as Kozou stepped into them.  The trees almost seemed 
to try and caress him with their branches as he moved through them, the 
dark green leaves brushing against him as he walked.  Any other time, 
he would have appreciated the beauty of the artificial environment, but 
now he was simply trying to find a needle in a haystack, passing 
through branch and leaf with quick glances around, wishing that he knew 
more about tracking others in the woods.

It wasn't until he heard the sharp intake of her breath that he finally 
began heading in the right direction, through the underbrush towards 
her.  She had found a small clearing, not small enough for the canopy 
to break significantly but large enough for her to sit down 
comfortably.  "We were worried about you," Kozou said awkwardly, 
stepping towards her.

"How sweet."  Her eyes were closed, now devoid of the eyeshadow that 
she had always used.  Kozou's eyes flicked to a small tissue next to 
her, smeared with dark blue and red.  "You don't need to worry about 
me, you know.  Third Impact is the priority.  We have to... well, help 
Gendou or hurt him, try to do something."

"You're the head of the technical department.  You're the one who's 
supposed to decide on these things."  He knelt beside her, watching her 
face carefully.  "What do you think we should do?"

"Don't patronize me, Dr. Fuyutsuki.  I know already."  A small tear 
beaded at the corner of her eye, but she shook her head with a quick 
twitch, sending it flying off into nowhere.  "The great, professional 
Ritsuko Akagi is nothing more than a shallow teenage girl.  Say it if 
you'd like."

Her bitterness hit Kozou like a slap across the face, and he frowned, 
edging slightly closer to her.  "I didn't mean it that way," he said, 
voice breaking slightly.  "Don't put words in my mouth."

Ritsuko smiled bitterly.  "We're not equals, doctor.  You'd be right to 
be unimpressed with me."  The smile melted into nothingness.  "I signed 
away the world.  I knew the burden that was on me and threw it all to 
the wind for a chance to prove something utterly insignificant.  
Whatever happens to me, I deserve far worse than this."

"That's not true.  It wasn't your responsibility to stop this."  Half a 
word began to come from Kozou's throat, but it caught and refused to 
budge, and he settled for simply sighing and trying again.  "You did 
everything right.  Better than you had to."

"Like my mother, right?  Of course I was.  We're the exact same 
person."  A slow, hissing sigh escaped her lips between clenched 
teeth.  "I always thought the problem with her was that she felt all 
the wrong things.  I thought that if you just cut feelings out of the 
equation..."

"I know."  Again, the words caught in the old man's throat, and he 
became acutely aware for a moment of how ridiculous he looked.  
Shuddering a bit, he edged closer to the woman.  "Ritsuko... I've had 
the privelege to work with both of you.  You're both brilliant women, 
driven, self-aware... I would have loved to teach you.  It's a shame 
that I was already working for Gehirn when we met."

"Probably better you didn't teach me.  I'd be disappointing you."  She 
sniffled, pulling her knees up closer to her chest.  "What a sham I 
was.  And all the while I was calling Misato the imbecile..."

Kozou let his eyes shut for a moment, then reached out one hand to the 
woman's shoulder, squeezing it just enough to draw her attention.  Her 
eyes opened, trembling under the intermittent light, beautiful blue-
gray orbs that seemed to lay her soul bare.  "You did your best," he 
said, feeling his words come out awkwardly.  "I would be - I am - proud 
of you."

"Thank you," whispered Ritsuko, her body trembling slightly.  "Dr. 
Fuyutsuki... Kozou... I just wanted... I didn't want another girl to 
have to go through my mother... the way that she..."

Something snapped inside the man, and he reached over to Ritsuko, 
drawing her close as her tears began to flow in earnest.  "It's all 
right," he whispered, drawing them both to their feet, light flashing 
above into the pattern of a cross.  "You're forgiven."

                                  ]++[

Yui's form was huddled into a small ball at the far corner of the dark 
room, shuddering in the cold, her skin bare and almost radiant beneath 
the lone light source.  It took a moment for Neil to even realize that 
she was there, another moment to full regain control of his body, 
feeling the plugsuit clinging tight to his skin, the chill of the room 
cutting past the thin fabric.  Taking hesitant steps towards the woman, 
he glanced about for something to voer her with, something to alleviate 
her pain.  "Yui?"

"I can't help any more, Neil," whispered the woman, her teeth 
chattering.  "I brought you the Eva.  I pulled you back to the 
machine.  I've used all of my strength, and I've seen everything."  She 
shuddered.  "I don't want to be a part of this any longer."

A connection drew through Neil's mind, and he crouched beside her, 
placing his hand gently on her shoulder.  "Yui Ikari.  I never made the 
connection."  He sighed.  "You know what Gendou's trying to do, don't 
you?  Instigating Third Impact?"

"Of course I know," replied Yui, shuddering enough to throw off Neil's 
hand from her shoulder.  "That was what we were trying for from the 
beginning.  Didn't you understand that?"

Neil said nothing, still kneeling beside Yui, looking at her 
expectantly.  "Yui, please.  I don't know why you wanted to end the 
world, but I need your help to stop this.  You can't honestly think 
that Gendou's doing the right thing now, not if you're seeing 
everything.  He wants to -"

"Brainwash everyone," replied Yui weakly, shaking her head, her brown 
hair skimming lightly along the pale skin of her neck.  "It's not what 
we wanted.  Maybe we were never really after the same thing.  But..."  
She paused.  "I'm out of power.  I don't have anything left to give.  
Just leave me alone."

"Come on, Yui!" shouted Neil, grabbing her shoulders by both hands and 
squeezing tightly.  She let out a small yelp, but he didn't relent.  
"Please... I don't want to hurt people any more.  I'm trying to stop 
this, but I need your help."

A bitter laughter cut through the chilled air, and Neil whirled around 
to see Kaworu standing not far from him, still clad in the dark brown 
robes from high on the mountain.  His eyes no longer looked at all like 
Kaworu's - a swirling mass of green and red, mingling and dancing back 
and forth.  "How can you say that you don't want to hurt people in a 
situation like this?" he asked mockingly, stepping towards Neil, 
letting his robes flutter around him.

Neil was already on his feet, and he glanced quickly down to make sure 
that Yui was all right only to discover that she had already vanished.  
It was only him and Kaworu in the room, a thought that filled him with 
a crystal panic.  "Who are you?" he asked, stepping towards the other 
boy, feeling dangerously alone.

Kaworu didn't answer him, simply raised a hand, letting the empty room 
wash away as if it had never been there at all.  They stood instead 
atop a tall building, hail falling around them, bouncing lightly off 
Kaworu's AT field that shimmered in the absolute blackness around 
them.  "You're rather hypocritical, Neil.  You do realize that, don't 
you?  You understand how much you truly hurt the people around you?"

Realizing immediately where they stood, Neil needed only to flick his 
eyes towards the horizon to see the black form of EVA-03 approaching, 
arms long and distended, the Angel's presence clear in his memory if 
not from the golem's appearance.  "This was something that had to be 
done," he replied grimly.  "Vash was trapped inside of an Angel.  I had 
to destroy the Angel to save him and everyone else."

"And you crushed the entry plug," finished Kaworu, stepping towards 
Neil slowly.  "Why did you do that, Third Child?  You knew that the 
Angel was destroyed.  There was no need.  No justification."

"I..."  Neil let his eyes shut, his arms wrapping around his chest 
unconsciously.  "I lost control of the Eva.  It went berserk, and it 
crushed the plug on its own.  There was nothing that I could do."

"Of course," replied the other boy, making no pretense about believing 
him.  "But that's not the important thing, and you know it.  Even if it 
had gone berserk... there's a reason that you were afraid when you were 
coming back down to Central Dogma, wasn't there?"

"Go to hell," snapped Neil, eyes snapping open, flashing a brilliant 
green as a blue-white stroke of lightning tore open the sky overhead.

"You knew that it wasn't important if the Eva went berserk or not.  
Because you knew immediately that it hadn't done anything that you 
didn't want it to."  Kaworu's smile widened past the point that human 
lips could sustain the grin, his eyes growing wider as his iris and 
pupil shrank.  "That's it, isn't it?  You wanted Koji Nekasa to die.  
Because even if it was by your hand, that meant that Eiko was -"

"Shut up!" shouted Neil, flinging himself at Kaworu and feeling a burst 
of red anger as the AT Field held him back.  His fists slammed against 
the octagonal field, and his fingers began to dig against its surface, 
trying to pry it open as he'd done before.  "I did the right thing!  If 
I hadn't beaten the Angel, Gendou would have gotten me to do it some 
other way!"

"How do you know?  He never got the chance."  Kaworu's smile spread 
even more, and with a cry of anger Neil felt the AT Field surrounding 
the white-haired boy crumble into dust.  Without hesitation, Neil 
brought his hands around the Kaworu-thing's throat, pulling his fingers 
as tight as he could as the other boy flailed.

"You don't understand," he hissed.  "You don't understand any of it.  I 
did the right thing.  Even if my reasons were wrong, isn't it enough 
that I did what was right?"

The thing in his hands smiled, then dissolved into LCL, running down 
Neil's arms thickly, pooling at his feet as the world faded around 
him.  Wood replaced concrete, yellow walls replaced the dark expanse of 
sky, light replaced darkness, shirt and jeans replaced plugsuit.  Still 
the LCL ran down the boy's arms, soaking through his shirt to the skin, 
sending a shudder through his body as he glanced around.

Misato's apartment seemed empty, at once a welcome relief and a cause 
for fear.  Creeping towards the kitchen, he looked for the silverware 
drawer, deathly afraid of being attacked once again.  His feet made a 
squishing noise as he walked to the drawer, flinging it open and 
grabbing the first knife he could find, his hand wrapping tightly 
around the handle.

"Quite the protector, aren't you?"  The other's voice rang clear, and 
Neil sprang to the ready, expecting the double to be wielding his spear 
once again.  This time, though, he wore the same clothes as Neil, no 
knife or spear in sight, only a hateful glow in his emerald eyes.  
"You're in an apartment, and you grab for a weapon.  First instinct.  
Why don't you admit to yourself what you are?"

"I -have-," snapped Neil, tears trickling to his eyes as he started 
towards the double.  "I'm a monster, remember?  Anything that it takes 
to save the world around me."  His thumb shifted against the handle of 
the knife, struggling to get in the best grip to stab with it.

Shaking his head, the double rushed forward, grabbing Neil's wrists 
effortlessly, disarming the boy and flinging him away towards the 
wall.  Neil felt the hard impact of Nieve's door against his back, felt 
the wood splinter as he slumped to the ground.  "Stop trying to play 
the martyr, boy," he hissed, crouching as he looked Neil in the eye.  
"You know you love it."

"I..."  Neil's vision swam as he tried to stand once again, and for a 
moment he could see Nieve from the corner of his eye, inexplicably tiny 
against an ocean of light, her hands gripped around something unnamed.  
Then it faded, and he was back in Misato's apartment, now standing, now 
with the same red dagger as before resting in his hand.  "I don't!  I 
don't want anything to do with it!  I don't have a choice!"

"Oh, the hell you don't.  We all have choices, Neil.  Be an adult and 
accept that."  The double smirked, then stood and lunged at Neil, 
crashing into the boy and the door, sending both shuddering into 
Nieve's room.  It was pitch-black in the room save for shafts of 
moonlight, tracing odd spots of the room as the double approached and 
Neil struggled to ready himself.  "It's your morals that keep you in 
the Eva, not any kind of force.  You could stop any time that you 
wanted to."

The double rushed forward with his knife, eyes flashing with a tangible 
light as Neil jerked aside.  "I have to protect people!" shouted Neil, 
dancing about the room as his double moved like a snake, lashing out 
with the bright red weapon over and over, tracing thin paths through 
the moonlight.  "What kind of person would I be otherwise?  How the 
hell can I -"

"Be quiet, Neil.  You don't protect people."  The other's voice was 
oddly dispassionate despite the maniac grin on his face, the frenzied 
way he lashed out with the knife, sending Neil staggering around as the 
world spun about.  "Asking Yui to help you when she says she's got 
nothing left?  You know that she'd have to sacrifice herself to save 
you?  Or does this just not occur to you?"

"Yui -" Once again, Neil found himself cut short, his double dropping 
him to the floor with a quick sweep of his leg, everything around him 
losing focus.  Blood swirled around his eyes, cloaking everything in 
thick drops, the vague pattern of Rei's profile appearing in the 
ceiling.  His head slammed against the wood hard, and the other 
straddled him, gripping the knife tightly and pressing the tips against 
Neil's chest.

Neil let out a small gasp, and the other drew the dagger down Neil's 
chest in a swift motion, snapping the buttons from his shirt and 
provoking a thin red line of blood.  Tossing the dagger casually over 
his shoulder, the other bent over, touching his tongue against the 
blood, smiling broadly.

Pain seared through Neil's bloodstream, forcing his body into quick 
convlusions as if he'd been filled with liquid flame.  The feeling of 
the other's body against him shifted, but he barely noticed, reaching 
down to the head, forcing his fingers to grip tightly, letting his 
nails bite skin.  "Get off of me!" he shouted, struggling as he heard 
the slow noise of drinking, revulsion bubbling in his stomach.

With a wrenching force, he pushed the other off of him, forcing it into 
a sitting position as Neil gasped.  Nieve was kneeling before him, 
naked, blood smeared across her lips, a suggestive smile playing across 
her face.  Her lips parted slightly, and a dribble of LCL followed, 
dripping along her body with slow deliberation.  "Is this what you want 
to see, Neil?  This girl?"

It was the other's voice, and a cold sweat came across Neil as he felt 
the soft touch of another hand on his cheek.  Flicking his eyes towards 
the source, he saw Eiko and Misato crouching beside him, both naked, 
the same smile on their lips as on Nieve's.  "What about the other 
girl?  Or the woman?  You want all three of them, don't you?  Think you 
have some sort of right to have them?"

"-Stop-!" Neil snapped, forcing Nieve off of him, sending her tumbling 
to the floor as he pulled himself to his feet.  Eiko and Misato reached 
out and grabbed at him, holding his wrist and waist even as he tried to 
run, Nieve slowly raising to her feet.  "What the hell are you trying 
to -prove-?"

"That you're an idiot," replied the voice, now coming from nowhere and 
everywhere at once.  The room dissolved into blood, but the women 
remained, holding Neil in place, drawing him closer.  Nieve's fingers 
were slowly easy across the waist of his jeans, tickling at the zipper 
casually.  "You enjoy hurting them, don't you?  Especially this one?"

Grunting, Neil tore himself free, shoving Nieve to the ground, now the 
cold metal floor of Central Dogma, fluorescent lights casting her 
nudity in an unflattering light.  "I stopped hurting Nieve!" he 
screamed, running down the corridor, glancing over his shoulder quickly 
to see the trio catching up with him.  "I tried not to hurt her!  I did 
the right thing!"

"How long do you plan on hiding behind that excuse?"  Neil's eyes 
flicked back to the end of the corridor to see another trio waiting for 
him, moving towards him casually.  "You hurt her, and yet you stayed 
with her because it hurt her more.  You hurt her again by leaving her 
behind.  No matter what you do, you cause her pain."

"It's not my fault!" shouted Neil in response, holding his arms above 
his head and slamming through the line of women, slowing only slightly 
as he hurled himself down another corridor.  He could hear the slap of 
bare skin on metal as the pursuit continued, sending a dagger of fear 
through his chest.

"'Not your fault,' indeed.  What's not your fault, Neil?  The fact that 
you hurt the people around you no matter what you do?"  He could see 
the outlines of more women in front of him, and glancing behind himself 
he knew that there were still more following him.  "You don't want 
responsibility, that's all.  But you're more than willing to take their 
affections, aren't you?  Would take all of them if you thought you 
could get away with it?"

The boy never had a chance to answer as he felt a wave of naked skin 
wash into him, hands running along every part of his body, his clothing 
seeming almost to melt away.  Misato, Nieve, and Eiko writhed around 
him in numbers almost imperceivable, and he could see them licking 
their lips, saw the hints of pointed teeth beneath their lips, the mark 
of hunger.  A wave of mixed joy and pain washed over him, and it was 
all he could do to scream and struggle as his limbs lost feeling...

                                  ]++[

"Neil."  The voice was curt without being hateful, and Neil slowly 
opened his eyes, the haze of darkness slowly lifting to reveal rolling 
green hills around him.  They stretched off into the horizon to meet a 
field of perfect blue sky, no speck of clouds to stand between the 
hills and the high sun in the sky.  Blinking slowly, Neil stood, 
looking around to find the source of the voice.

Rei stood only a few feet away, a white robe blowing around her body in 
a gentle breeze, the fabric too thin to concel her body beneath.  Neil 
felt the same clothes on his body as he recoiled from the girl, 
balancing on the balls of his feet as he glanced around for some kind 
of weapon.  "What do you want?"

"You," replied Rei, stepping towards him gently.  A thin smile drew 
across her face, her eyes glittering in the sunlight as she reached 
towards the boy.  "I don't want to fight you, Neil.  Not any more.  
We're both Children; we should be working together."

Hesitating for a moment, Neil continued stepping backwards, his feet 
bare against the tickling blades of grass.  Rei seemed unconcerned, 
still walking towards him, her arm painfully white against the bright 
light of the sun.  Biting his lower lip, Neil stayed in place for a 
moment, then reached out and took her hand, the soft chill of her skin 
surprising him.

Surprisingly enough, the girl's lips split into a true smile as she 
looked up towards the sun, still walking closer to Neil.  "I knew that 
you'd understand," she whispered.  "You were the only one who tried to 
reach me, you know.  Everyone else ignored me."

"We don't have time to talk about that," replied Neil, half-expecting 
the double or Kaworu to materialize in front of him.  "I have to stop 
Third Impact.  It must still be going on... there's still time to keep 
it from happening, to keep Gendou from -"

"Maybe there isn't," replied Rei calmly, drawing Neil close to her with 
surprising strength.  Her skin was softer than feathers, carrying the 
slightest chill about it, the deep scent of blood mingled with 
perfume.  "We weren't outside when the Impact began.  Perhaps we'll 
never be able to return."

The thought hadn't occurred to Neil, but as he stared into Rei's eyes 
he felt something tug within him.  Closing his eyes, he struggled to 
find some way of knowing how much time had passed, whether or not he'd 
already failed in his task.  Releasing Rei's hand, he pulled away, 
sinking to his knees against the soft grass, breathing in deeply.  "Do 
you really believe that?" he asked reluctantly, bowing his head forward.

"I have no way of knowing."  She paused, then he heard the soft rustle 
of plant and robe as she sat down beside him.  "It may be best if we're 
removed from the equation, however.  We don't need the world to live a 
perfect life here, inside of our Evas."

Neil's eyes opened again weakly, the scent of the girl beside him 
drifting into his nose once again.  "I failed again," he whispered, 
shaking his head.  "The last chance I had to really do something right, 
and I... I screwed it all up again."

Rei place her hand gently on Neil's shoulder, but she didn't notice his 
hands clenching into fists, his brow furrowing in anger.  Letting out a 
shout, he sprang to his feet and flung himself forward, flying in the 
open air for a moment before tumbling down the gently rolling hill, the 
earth soft enough to cushion his fall, world spinning around in passes 
of green and blue.  Resting on his side, he pulled himself back to his 
feet once again, crying out in rage, clenching his fists tight enough 
for his knuckles to go white, falling to his knees and slamming his 
hands against the ground.

Tears formed in his eyes, and he distantly felt Rei approaching from 
behind him as the slow drops of water fell from his eyes, splattering 
against the white robe that clung to him.  "I can't do anything right," 
he hissed, feeling the futility of his rage with pained clarity.  "I 
knew that I was a monster, but I... I can't even -try- to do anything 
good.  It always goes wrong."

A soft pressure against his back let him know that Rei was there, and 
he shuddered slightly as the chill of her skin cut through his own, 
expecting a warmth to accompany the soft touch.  "It's all right, 
Neil," she whispered, rubbing her cheek against the back of his head, 
her arms encircling his shoulders.  "We're not in that world any 
longer.  You don't have to worry any more."

"Of course I do.  Rei... some things are just right, and some things 
are just wrong.  What Gendou wants - wanted - to do... it wouldn't 
change that fact."  He sighed.  "People would still die, feel sorrow, 
try to come to terms with things, have limited resources... morals are 
a part of human life."

"No."  The soft pressure against the back of Neil's neck didn't 
register as a kiss until a second afterwards, and he felt a hot flush 
run through his face.  "We impose it on ourselves, but we don't need 
it.  Don't you think that people are basically good?  What do you think 
would be corrupting them if not morals?"

"I... I don't know.  I don't know anything."  Neil sighed, the tears 
slowing.  "Rei... I don't know what you want from me.  I don't know 
what you're expecting me to do.  But you shouldn't rely on me to do 
anything right, not when I -"

"Shh," whispered the girl, lifting herself away from Neil's back, 
leaving him mometarily confused before he felt her pulling him down, 
forcing him to lie flat against the grass, staring into the sky for 
only a second before she lay on top of him.  "You can't do anything 
that's wrong.  There is no right or wrong.  Who's to say to us that 
we're doing anything wrong, in our own little world?"

There was something odd in the girl's voice, but Neil didn't feel the 
same clawing at the back of his soul that the other's presence gave 
him.  He began to think about what it might be, but before he had the 
chance Rei had already pressed her lips against his, letting her small 
pink tongue dart out to part his lips.  Again the oddity of her actions 
struck him, but he hardly had the energy to fight any longer, and so he 
simply answered her kiss in kind.

"Anything that you want, I can be," she whispered.  Her voice sounded 
heady with emotion, and Neil's eyes widened slightly to see the genuine 
desire rolling across her bright red eyes.  "I'll be your woman, you'll 
be my man.  We'll make a wonderful land here, where nothing hurts any 
more."

Exhaustion was seeping through Neil like water through cloth, and his 
eyes began to drift closed as he felt Rei move on top of him, the pain 
of the earlier moments passing from him effortlessly.  Perhaps it was 
best that he couldn't go back - he'd never have accomplished anything 
anyways.  At least here he could be with Rei, be free of doing things 
wrong.  "Nice," he whispered, the girl's body shifting to an upright 
position on top of him, a smile tracing across his face as he felt her 
hips lock around his waist.

"You don't actually believe that, do you?"

It was the other's voice, whispering in his ears and jerking him to 
attention, his eyes flying open and his arms raising reflexively.  
Rei's arm shuddered to a stop as his fingers wrapped around her wrist, 
her hand clenched tightly around the familiar red dagger, her eyes 
flashing with anger at the sight of the boy.

Giving a small noise of frustration, Rei tried to force the dagger 
down, but Neil pushed upward, forcing her back off of him, his free 
hand clutching at her hand and struggling to release the dagger from 
her grasp.  "You're going to ruin everything," she snarled, struggling 
to pull her hand clear, the grass around them growing darker.  "You're 
causing the same judgement we were trying to avoid.  You have to let 
go, -now-."

Neil had no words to respond, and so he simply gave one final jerk and 
pulled the dagger free, letting the red weapon fall to the ground for 
only a second before scooping it up.  "Third Impact is still going on, 
isn't it?" he asked, voice harsh, the sky darkening and casting long 
shadows across his face.  "How do I stop it?  Damn it, how do I reverse 
the process?"

"You -can't-," snapped Rei, her arm pulling free as drops of rain began 
to fall.  "That's what you don't understand.  We can't simply stop this 
from happening.  It's -done-.  Even if we had done nothing, it would 
have happened -eventually-.  All that we can hope to do is alter the 
outcome, and that's what you're denying us."  She let out a slow hiss 
of breath, her robes slowly solidifying into her plugsuit.  "Do the 
right thing, Neil.  Give me control over this.  Let me save us."

"Brainwashing everyone isn't salvation!" snapped the boy, staggering 
away from her, the grass now dry and cracking underfoot, sky slowly 
unleashing the water it contained.  "I've got to find a way - there's 
got to be -something- that I can do to stop it!"

Rei scoffed.  "By your own admission, everything you do turns out 
wrong.  You can't stop this.  Neither can I.  Give me that knife and 
let me have the chance to save us.  It's the best that we can hope for."

"I don't accept that!" shouted Neil, steadying the dagger in his hand 
and waving it as menacingly as possible, his eyes flashing at Rei.  
"I... I'll figure something out!  Damn it all, if I give up now it's 
pointless!"

The girl frowned, then lunged towards him.  Without thinking, Neil 
thrust the dagger forward, the twin points flickering in the dimmed 
light before they pierced Rei's chest.  Blood spurted from the wounds, 
splattering against Neil's face, along his arms, a small trickle coming 
from the corner of Rei's mouth as it shifted into a small O of 
surprise.  It took Neil a moment to even realize what he'd done, his 
eyes slowly focusing on Rei as her blood spilled forth.

A chocking gurgle came from her throat as she struggled to say 
something, one hand raising and trying to reach towards Neil, and the 
landscape around them filtered away to LCL.  His body went half-
transparent, the dagger vanished, but he could see her slumping against 
the seat of her entry plug, two pinprick wounds just above her heart 
exhaling clouds of blood into the cockpit around her, the light going 
out of her eyes.

"No."  He shook his head as the picture faded, leaving him standing 
atop the mountain once again, alone amongst the great spires of stone.  
"That - that's impossible.  I can't affect anyone in the real world 
from here, I know it.  It's just a trick, just like before.  Rei's 
still alive, she has to be."

Fluttering light coalesced into the shape of the other once again, 
still clad in flowing brown robes.  "It doesn't really matter if you 
killed her or not, does it?" he whispered, kneeling beside Neil.  "You 
know that you wanted to kill her.  That was your first instinct.  Just 
like it was your first instinct when Vash was -"

"GO AWAY!" screamed Neil, staggering away from the other, tears pooling 
in his eyes once again.  "I... even if I might fail... that doesn't 
mean that I..."

"That you can't do anything good," finished the double, invisible to 
Neil now, the light around them fading to nothing.  "You're simply 
incapable of it.  You try to do right, and you do wrong; you try to do 
wrong, and you do wrong."  A pause.  "Perhaps you're right.  Perhaps 
there's no point in trying any more.  All that happens is that you 
fail.  Perhaps you truly are simply evil."

Neil was distantly aware that the other was gone, but he didn't care, 
falling to his knees and sobbing, then falling forward, hands propping 
him up on all fours.  His tears fell to an alien and unrecognized 
floor, but he didn't care, lost in his thoughts and his guilt.  
Choking sobs wracked his body, and thoughts of Third Impact faded from 
mind as the darkness permeated about him.

                                  ]++[

"Second corridor on our right!" shouted Ryo, running as best he could 
with Niobe hanging off his shoulder, Vash and Eiko close on his heels.  
Another shudder tore through Central Dogma, white light lancing up and 
obliterating a small portion of the corridor that they had been in 
moments before.  Fluorescent lighting in the hall flickered and died 
intermittently, but Ryo knew enough of the base to make his way without 
it.  "This tube's designed to withstand almost anything!  It should be 
intact!"

The other Children didn't answer Ryo, as he'd expected.  Pulling and 
pushing Niobe along in equal degrees, the pale boy hurtled towards 
their destination, red eyes flicking around to make sure that the base 
around them remained intact enough to keep going.  They'd already been 
to two evacuation areas and found them impassable, and a cold dread was 
slowly forming in his gut at the thought of this one being cut off as 
well.

As he rounded the corner, Ryo breathed a sigh of relief, seeing the 
hallway mostly intact, the round port at the end unspeakably welcome.  
"Vash!  Eiko!  Come here!"  He let go of Niobe, letting her lean 
against the wall as he ran to the port, hearing another shuddering 
blast tear more of the base apart.

Ignoring the noise, Ryo rushed to the circular port, wedging his 
fingers into the thin grips embedded in the surface, putting all of his 
strength into twisting the hatch.  It was a moment before Vash came up 
beside him, lending his strength to the task, grunting slightly as it 
began to give.  "Don't make these things easy to open, do they?" he 
asked, a grimace passing over his face, the base shuddering from the 
force of another blast.

"Not meant to be opened casually.  We'd be evacuating with the rest of 
NERV in theory."  A thin layer of sweat glazed Ryo's forehead as the 
hatch continued to twist at a glacial speech, then finally gave a 
satisfied groan and wrenched free, falling to the floor as Ryo and Vash 
released it.  "All right!  Eiko, you first!"

Acting without question, the girl rushed into the exit without 
hesitation, slipping herself in and letting her body be carried out by 
the smooth surface.  Ryo moved swiftly over to Niobe, helping her to 
his shoulder as Vash climbed halfway in.  "Stay there," snapped Ryo, 
his eyes flicking back and forth for a moment, nerves on edge with the 
constant shuddering of the base.  "We'll need to work together to get 
Niobe into the tube."

Leaning against Ryo, Niobe could feel the self-loathing bubble inside 
her stomach, limping weakly towards the port with him.  He was doing so 
much, and she... she'd proved him right in the end after all.  "Every 
chance I get," she whispered, shaking her head weakly, casting her eyes 
away from Vash.

Everything pitched into slow motion as the space between the exit and 
Niobe exploded into a shower of white light.  She could see Vash pushed 
down by the force before he even had a chance to react, could see the 
metal flying upwards as the corridor pitched wildly, could feel Ryo's 
hands circle her and push her back.  The world became a blur of light 
and metal, sending her to the floor, sliding along in pain as she tried 
to regain her bearings, head hitting the metal hard and nearly stunning 
her into unconsciousness.

Wincing, Niobe shook her head and forced herself up on her arms, her 
eyes flying towards the corridor that she and Ryo had stood in moments 
earlier.  Most of it had been torn away now, replaced by a gaping hole 
of jagged metal, cutting off any path to the emergency exit.  Ryo lay 
crumpled against the floor, motionless except for obviously labored 
breathing, his legs dangling out over the gap as his hands clutched at 
his side.

Niobe's eyes widened as she realized that he wasn't unhurt - his hands 
were clenched around a shard of teal-gray metal, blood welling around 
his fingers as he tried to stumble to his feet.  "Ryo!" she shouted, 
struggling to pull herself towards him as the base shuddered once 
again, sending him a little closer to the hole.  "Are you all right?"

"It's not that deep, but it needs medical attention," he replied 
grimly, releasing one hand and placing it firmly against the floor, 
trying to push himself up but failing.  "I don't know how much blood 
I've lost from it, though I'm not dizzy yet."  He paused.  "I don't 
think I can pull myself up."

The base shuddered once again, sending Ryo slipping closer to the hole, 
his waist scarcely clear of it.  Niobe let out a shout involuntarily, 
and Ryo's eyes flicked to the pit for a moment before looking back at 
her.  "You've got to try and crawl to safety," he said flatly, wincing 
in pain.  "The walls seem to be the safest places to be... if you think 
you can reach the hangars, get in the entry plug and stay there.  I 
can't help you to -"

Another shudder tore through the base, and Ryo slipped a bit further.  
Niobe was seized with panic, and tears brimmed into her eyes as she 
buried her head on the floor, unable to watch any longer.  "Damn me," 
she whispered, sobbing weakly.  "I could pull him up.  Every single 
time I have the chance to succeed, I..."

Once again, the base shuddered, and Niobe felt a sudden rush of 
adrenaline move through her, borne of anger and desperation and a 
simple exhaustion with crying.  Her eyes narrowed, and placing her 
palms flat against the floor she pushed her upper body up, placing her 
legs firmly beneath her.  "I'm not going anywhere without you," she 
snapped, drawing herself up to her full height, ignoring the trembling 
in her legs.

"Don't do it!" shouted Ryo, wincing in pain once again, his eyes 
watching each trembling step the girl took.  "Niobe, you don't have the 
strength for it.  Please, get somewhere safe, if not for yourself than 
for me."

Niobe ignored him, still walking as resolutely as possible towards him, 
forcing herself against the wall as the base shuddered from another 
impact.  Her legs threatened once again to give way, but she drew in a 
deep breath and walked to him, clenching her hands into fists as she 
reached down.  "Take my hand, Ryo."

The boy made no movement, obviously hoping that she'd give up the 
effort.  He was obviously struggling not to fall, his legs tucked in 
close and barely keeping him in place.  Grimacing, Niobe knelt and 
seized him tightly, then let out a cry of determination and pulled 
hard, forcing her legs to tug with her as the base shuddered once again.

For the barest moment, Niobe felt that Ryo was right.  She could feel 
her legs giving out from underneath her, feel the weight of the boy she 
held pulling her down towards the fatal abyss.  But she held tightly, 
not relenting for a moment, her voice scratching her throat as she 
howled in defiance at the sky.  In that moment she didn't have the 
words to scream that she wouldn't fail, that she would make herself 
succeed even if it killed both of them, that there was no way in the 
world that she would back down at her last chance.

Then she felt herself move backwards, away from the pit, and she felt 
Ryo's body move with her.  The boy made a small noise of pain, but she 
ignored it, forcing herself to pull him further, keeping her legs 
moving in steady patterns, pulling him along even as the base continued 
shuddering, until the tips of his feet were safely within the hallway.

Gasping, Niobe collapsed to her knees for a moment, panting hard and 
staring down at Ryo.  Their eyes met, and even though she couldn't know 
she knew that her own eyes were strong once again, that she was 
displaying her triumph proudly.  Ryo's lips parted halfway, visibly 
amazed, almost seeming on the edge of tears.  "You..."

"We're not safe here," she said firmly, pulling herself to her feet 
once again, then pulling Ryo up with her.  "Is there another emergency 
exit, or are we out by now?"

Ryo didn't respond for a moment, then he shook his head.  "There's a 
couple left that I can remember.  If we leave this corridor and head 
straight for a little while, we should hit one."  He paused, then 
flicked his eyes up and down her body.  "Can you walk?"

Her legs were screaming for release, trembling like grass in a 
hurricane.  A vague dizziness had crept into her skull, and she could 
feel tears still blurring her vision, helped little by the darkness of 
the corridors.  "Absolutely," she replied firmly, turning away from the 
lost exit.  "Which way?"

                                  ]++[

LCL dripped quietly around Neil as he wept, the droplets making small 
pinging noises against an unknown floor.  In the back of his mind, he 
could feel voices screaming at him to stand, to move forward, that 
Third Impact needed to be averted, but he could barely muster the 
willpower to draw breath, much less to draw up from his knees, to move 
his hands away from his face.

He had failed.  At everything.  It was diriving through his chest 
relentlessly, spasms of guilt and self-loathing keeping him immobilized 
save for the steady shudders of crying.  Every good thing that he'd 
tried to do had gone wrong somehow, and every thing that wound up going 
right he'd done for all the wrong reasons.  He was a bloodthirsty 
monster, filled with hate, unable to do anything but destroy.  "If I 
try to stop the Impact, I'll only make things worse," he whispered.  
"And now Rei's dead.  Rei can't take it over... God, I should have 
listened to her when she told me... when she tried..."

Choking sobs cut his words short, and he trailed off into a loud wail, 
feeling his voice fling out into the impossibly huge room, seeming 
almost to make him smaller with each passing moment.  Tears blurred his 
vision into nothing, and his body pitched forward, forehead hitting the 
cold metal roughly, the dark seeming to pierce his skin and begin to 
infest him.  It hurt, but he knew that it was his time, that he had to 
give it up.  He was too steeped in blood to accomplish anything further.

"Neil."  The voice was soft, caring, but Neil was too lost in himself 
to hear it, barely even noticing as gentle hands pushed him into an 
upright positiong.  "Neil.  Neil, listen to me.  Please."

Forcing down another sob, Neil weakly tried to brush away the tears 
from his eyes, only distantly aware of a blue and white figure in front 
of him.  The figure reached to his eyes and wiped them clear, and as 
his vision cleared Neil recognized the proto-plugsuit, the white lab 
coat, the maternal and caring face.  "Yui," he whispered, feeling more 
tears coming on.  "I've been hurting you too, haven't I?"

Yui said nothing, simply knelt beside Neil and embraced him tightly, 
resting his head on her shoulder, her fingers running through his 
hair.  The tears came again, but weaker now, and he could feel the room 
around him begin to fade into focus.  "Poor boy," she whispered.  
"You've been thinking that all along, haven't you?"

"Because it's true," he replied, lacking the strength to rage.  "I hurt 
everyone around me just by being near them.  That... that's who I am.  
Small wonder the Eva responds so well to me."

"Wrong again," snapped the harsh voice of the double, somewhere from 
behind Yui, outside of what little Neil could see around him.  The boy 
surppressed the urge to look, knowing that it would do little good.  
"Sometimes you seem almost too eager to let yourself be a monster, you 
know that?  You don't even allow for the possibility that you and the 
Eva just happen to be connected.  It has to be because you're a 
monster."

"That's what you wanted me to admit, though," whispered Neil, his arms 
limply struggling to embrace Yui, feeling very small and afraid.  "You 
wanted me to say that I was a monster, didn't you?  That I'm horrible, 
unclean, and -"

"Quiet."  Yui's voice was quiet and soft, but carried enough impact to 
make Neil fall silent.  "You accept what you do wrong too readily, 
Neil.  No matter how hard you try or what you achieve, it's always 
wrong for some reason."

"And it -should- be," replied Neil, feeling the woman's arms release 
him as he spoke, his sadness increasing.  "I... I don't deserve to live 
with other people.  I ought to sacrifice myself to undo everything 
wrong, to try and fix all my mistakes, to -"

"Idiot.  Who do you think would have destroyed the Third Angel if not 
for you?"  The double stepped over and jerked Neil roughly to his feet, 
his green eyes flashing with an emotion that Neil couldn't quite 
place.  "Who else would have stayed to save Ryo?  Who would have given 
Nieve moments of happiness?  Who else would have gone back to Central 
Dogma in the face of certain death?"  He smirked.  "You can't deny the 
positive outcomes, Neil.  Even if you hate yourself as much as you 
claim, you must realize that you've done things right."

"For the wrong reasons!" shouted Neil, pulling away from his double and 
shaking his head.  "I keep trying to be a good person and I keep 
failing!  It's not worth it any more!  I'll just keep failing over and 
over again, and I'll keep hurting people in the process!"

"And you'll keep helping people, too," replied Yui, her voice 
surprisingly small and trembling.  Blinking back tears, Neil looked 
towards the woman, seeing her and the double standing beside one 
another.  "You don't do things for just one reason.  If you manage to 
bring just a little bit more light into the world, isn't that enough?  
Haven't you made the world a better place just for trying?"

"But..."  His breathing was coming shallowly and quickly now, his heart 
pounding against his ribs like a maniac.  "The bloodlust.  The hatred.  
All of these things... I shouldn't feel them like this.  Not this 
intensely.  Other people don't act like I do."

"Other people don't pilot the Eva like you do," replied the double, a 
thin smile tracing across his face.  "You're not an angel, Neil.  
Nobody is.  That's not what you're supposed to be."  His eyes widened 
slightly as if seeing some unknown horror standing behind Neil, and 
light began to flash from his body.  "But we can't hold your hand any 
longer.  This part is up to you."

Neil's eyes flicked back and forth between Yui and the other.  His 
mouth half-opened to ask a question, then shut, his lips pressing 
together in a hard line, swallowing a dry lump of fear.  He wanted to 
ask the pair to stay, but something in him knew that it would be 
futile, that whatever was waiting for him wouldn't wait for his own 
concerns.  "I won't forget," he whispered, letting his hands clench 
into fists.  "I won't let you down."

Yui and the other opened their mouths in unison, as if about to speak, 
but not a noise issued forth.  They both dissolved in a flurry of light 
and feathers, melting into nothingness as Neil shielded his eyes, 
illuminating the black walls of the chamber lined with thin red 
patterns.

As the light faded, Neil could see another figure standing in their 
place, a thin body cloaked in thick robes, eyes an uncanny mixture of 
colors.  "Kaworu," Neil called, no doubt left in his mind as he forced 
himself to look on the other boy.  His fists tightened slightly.  "But 
you're not really Kaworu, are you?"

"Very perceptive, Third Child," replied the thing that wore Kaworu's 
skin, smiling once more past where his jaws would have allowed for it, 
his eyes growing unnaturally wide.  "I wonder, are you now able to see 
me for who I am?  Or are you still blinded by your denial?"

"God," snapped Neil, feeling a warm rush of adrenaline seep into his 
bloodstream.

The smile spread until it threatened to split the head, and the robes 
and skin fell away in a cascade of light, dissolving before they ever 
hit the floor.  Neil's eyes burned with the intense display, but he 
forced himself not to look away, watching as the pale boy's form split 
to reveal only three gigantic eyes, each easily as tall as Neil, 
arranged in a triangle before him.  Each iris was a swirling mass of 
conflicting colors, and as the eyes blinked the land around them 
shifted to a beautiful garden, high atop a hill, looking out across a 
barren desert.  "Well done," boomed a voice.  "Speak."

Neil felt his through go dry in shock, having half-expected to be wrong 
despit himself.  Coughing gently, he forced a scratching breath into 
his lungs, feeling his confidence flagging.  "You've been sent to judge 
the Earth, haven't you?"

"I am not 'sent' anywhere.  I choose where I will go."  Two of the eyes 
closed, leaving only one to stare at him, looking as disdainful as a 
disembodied eye could.  "I have come to this world to judge the works 
and lives of my children, of the human race.  You, Neil Richelieu, have 
been the sole specimen presented in the defense of your world."  There 
was a pause, as if the deity was waiting for Neil to interject.

Cold sweat beaded along Neil's forehead, his mind struggling to figure 
out if he wasn't just seeing another illusion, trying to comprehend the 
possibility that he was truly addressing a god.  The eye stared for a 
moment longer, then blinked, letting the garden wither to blackened 
remnants in a second.  "You have done little to defend yourself, Neil.  
I have seen your race as represented by you, and it is not something 
that I wish to continue inflicting upon Earth."

"Why?" shouted Neil, beginning to feel some small courage assert itself 
inside his chest.  "What even gives you the right to judge us?  You 
cast us out, and then you expect us to -"

"Do not question me, boy," snapped the voice.  Its volume did not 
alter, but all three eyes flew open, and Neil felt a spasm of pain 
consume him, sending him involuntarily to his knees.  "I am that I am.  
You are a race of selfish individuals that exist only to hurt one 
another and further your own desires.  I give you this last chance to 
defend your actions out of mercy.  Do not try my patience."

Blood brushed against Neil's lips, and he swallowed hard, pulling 
himself roughly to his feet.  "I've tried to save the Earth from 
destruction," he said simply, feeling his eyes go blurry.

"You have done anything but.  You have attempted to kill companions to 
usurp their stations amongst others.  You have allowed yourself to be 
consumed with rage and hatred.  You have destroyed people that care for 
you because of your own selfishness.  What do you have to say to 
alleviate that?"

"Nothing," the boy half-coughed, releasing and clenching his fists in 
steady intervals, watching the world around him become consumed by an 
eyeblink winter.  "But I realize that I've done things wrong.  I'm 
trying to correct them as best I can.  It's the moral thing to -"

"Morals?  Do not trifle me with your absurdities.  You are no more 
moral than the ice aroung you."  The garden was past recognition now, 
coated in thick snows and blocks of ice.  "Yours is a basically selfish 
race.  You impose morals only to try and curb your natural instincts.  
If that is the best defense that you can muster, then judgement is done 
and passed."

Snow and razor-sharp wind bit into Neil's skin, but he could feel 
something burning within him, some last bit of strength from Yui and 
the other, from Rei and Nieve - perhaps even from himself.  "They're 
not shackles," he whispered, knowing full well that the other entity 
could hear him.  "We try to use them to hold ourselves back, but we use 
them just as readily to drive ourselves upwards.  They make us what we 
are - they make -me- who -I- am."

"And this is something to be proud of?" replied the voice of the eyes.  
For the barest moment the image of the old school playground flashed 
before Neil's eyes, the bully tormenting his friend, a pencil hard and 
lethal in his hand.  "You are bloodthirsty, selfish, and cruel.  You do 
things for your own gain."

"Yes.  But I also do things because they're the right thing to do."  He 
sighed heavily, feeling his confidence grow and flag in equal amounts.  
Snow whipped about with more ferocity.  "I can't say why I got in the 
Eva that first day.  Maybe it was because I didn't want to feel 
guilty.  Maybe it was because I knew it was the right thing to do.  But 
whatever my reasons... I got in, I piloted it, I fought for others."  
His eyes flashed with determination.  "For whatever I've done wrong, 
I've done things right."

"Of little consequence," replied the deity flatly, the three eyes now 
flashing with an inner fire that implied a growing anger.  "You are a 
basically selfish species, and you will fail as often as you succeed."

"Probably.  But that's no reason to stop trying."  The image of the 
bully flashed in his eyes once again, but this time he didn't feel the 
guilt from before.  "If we're basically selfish, that means that we're 
not basically evil, that we're capable of doing better.  If we do wrong 
in trying to do good... we just have to keep trying."

Silence hung in the snow-covered land for a moment, the colors of the 
eyes flashing with greater intensity.  "This is your defense, then?" 
asked the voice, almost mockingly.  "You believe that you can succeed 
at something so contrary to your nature?"

Neil's eyes drifted closed heavily, images flashing through his mind 
once again.  He could see the Fourth Angel, thrashing about as he tried 
to stab it, his arms struggling to pull it away from Ryo.  He could see 
Eiko's machine shielding him from the Fifth.  He could feel the air 
whistle past him as he ran towards Central Dogma, the Fourteenth 
tearing apart the city.  And above it all, he could see Nieve's face, 
smiling, crying, laughing, shouting, always the two points of liquid 
and beautiful green that were her eyes dancing before him.

"No," he said, opening his eyes once again, staring at the triangle 
before him without fear.  "But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop 
trying."

The image of the bully was flashing in his eyes as he extended his arm, 
palm open, feeling power surge through his body as he felt the red 
double-pointed lance form in his hand.  He gripped it tightly, feeling 
his body flick back and forth between the snowfield and the schoolyard, 
and in each his face twisted into a grimace of determination.  Gripping 
his weapon tightly, he ran forward, eyes not angry but certain, a cry 
of defiance on his lips, the bully and the eyes growing larger in his 
sight as the rest of the world faded into nothingness.  His weapon 
flashed forward in both, towards its ultimate target, the lethal points 
driving home -

"Enough," snapped the voice, a sound like trumpets and thunder filling 
the air with it.  Neil's world went perfectly white, his body lost 
substance, and he suddenly felt himself falling faster than he had ever 
known, hurtling away from the garden and the schoolyard, a sense of 
triumph overcoming him as he flew.

                                  ]++[

A shaft of light shot forth from the deepest recesses of Terminal 
Dogma, shattering metal as it raced upwards, blasting through the armor 
of the Geo-Front without effort.  It continued moving past the city of 
Tokyo-3, towering into the heavens, past the moon and into space 
unknown, drawing the attention of the world as it lingered for what 
seemed like an eternity, the vaguest hints of the arms of a cross 
flickering as it met the outer edges of Earth's atmosphere.

Inside Terminal Dogma, however, there was far more to see than simply 
the light cascading upwards from EVA-01.  White light flooded from the 
machine, encompassing the room, throwing it into black and white for 
only an instant before growing too bright to allow anything but white.  
Nieve felt her eyes go blind for a moment at the sheer intensity of the 
burst, falling to her knees as she felt herself buffeted by winds, her 
eyes closing tightly but unable to block out the perfect and searing 
light.

Then the corona around the Evas and the Angel burst, flying outwards, 
passing through the base without substance, washing over everything 
within the Geo-Front like first sunlight.  It took Nieve's eyes a 
moment to adjust to the faded light of the chamber, the LCL dark once 
again, but even as she adjusted she could see EVA-01 moving.  "Neil," 
she whispered, drawing herself to her feet, eyes blinking back 
involuntary tears.

EVA-01 pulled the lance free of both Lillith and EVA-08 effortlessly, 
holding the weapon aloft for only a moment before it seemed to liquify 
and run into the palm of the great beast.  A slight red glow surrounded 
the beast for a moment, but it soon faded to white, the eyes flashing 
green as it staggered away from its fallen opponents.  Its fingers 
clawed at its chest, LCL spraying around it in great showers as it 
tried to wrench something free from itself, the massive jaws closed 
tightly once again.

Nieve stepped forward, and as if on cue the Eva opened its mouth once 
more, letting out a mighty roar.  The entire machine pitched forward, 
huddling over as if chilled, then arched backwards, presenting its 
chest proudly to the heavens, arms spread wide.  A great tearing noise 
filled the air, and as if newly-born the entry plug shot forth from the 
beast's chest, trailing blood and metal, hurtling through the air and 
twirling madly.

The spinning cockpit slammed first into the ceiling, then one wall, 
then another, and with each impact Nieve could feel her gut wrenching 
slightly at the sound even as she prayed that Neil was inside.  Another 
harsh slam against the wall, hard enough to possibly break the neck of 
any pilot within, and the thing spun into the LCL, skipping along the 
surface once before plummeting into its depths, swallowed by the ocean 
like so much debris.

Misato and Nieve both watched the spot of the plug's disappearance, the 
ripples expanding slowly outwards.  "If he's alive, he should be all 
right," Gendou announced weakly from behind them.  "But the plug will 
probably eject any LCL within it regardless.  If he's been absorbed by 
the Eva..."

"Pray that he hasn't been," whispered Misato, watching as the plug 
bobbed back to the surface, the LCL exhaust porst on the sides dripping 
and open, the white cylinder moving slowly towards the walkway.  Not 
another word pierced the air as the three watched, waiting for some 
sign that the boy inside was alive, Nieve's heart sinking at the wait.

A slight twitch came from the hatch, then a larger one.  The metal 
ground harshly against itself, but it swung upwards, pushed by a blood-
streaked arm, pale against the dim light of the chamber.  With slow, 
pained, deliberate movements, Neil Richelieu stood once again, hunched 
over and panting, streaked with blood and LCL.  His eyes weakly flicked 
towards Nieve, then his body pitched forward into the LCL, eyes 
closing, chest heaving what seemed a final breath.

In the instant it took Neil to fall into the red-orange liquid, Nieve 
felt her knees go weak, buckling beneath her as the boy's arms seemed 
to spread, though whether it was from gravity or a conscious choice was 
unclear.  The splash filled her world for a second, then vanished from 
memory as she watched him pull himself back to the surface, head 
arching back as his lungs ripped a breath from the air around him, 
droplets of LCL clinging to him as he leaned forward and began swimming.

Gendou watched coldly as the boy swam towards the platform, pulling 
himself up on the thin metal platform with slow and labored movments, 
dripping LCL as he pulled himself to his full height.  The boy met the 
elder man's gaze, his emerald eyes displaying a fierce determination 
Gendou couldn't remember having seen before.  "You saw God," he said 
flatly, knowing that the boy would ask no questions.

"No judgement," replied Neil, shivering slightly in the chill, his 
voice resonating with a deep and powerful certainty.  "Or judgement has 
been passed without sentence.  Your choice.  It's over now, either 
way."  He turned towards Nieve, eyes wider now, pleading, but still 
with that same strength.

"You destroyed it all, you realize," Gendou said, feeling his own voice 
come across his lips sounding broken, the noise of a frayed and barely-
working violin.  "Everything that we worked so long for... you 
discarded it like that, just because you -"

"I did what I saw as right," replied Neil, his hands clenching into 
fists.  "That's all I could have done.  That's all any of us can do."

Silence hovered between the two for a moment, broken only by the gentle 
sloshing of the LCL around them.  "I was going to set us free," Gendou 
repeated weakly, his own hands going limp, face slowly dropping into an 
expression.  "You understand that, don't you?"

"We were never shackled, except by things that we couldn't change."  
Neil half-turned his head back towards Gendou, his eyes catching the 
scant light at just the right angle and seeming to glow a radiant 
emerald.  "Yui realized that.  That's why she helped me... why she 
saved us."  He turned away once again.  "I'm leaving."

The strength fled from Gendou's knees, and only through force of will 
did he stop himself from collapsing completely, the shock and confusion 
written plainly across his face.  It was a moment before he could 
regain any kind of composure, and by that time the others had already 
moved halfway towards the exit of the chamber.  "Wait," he called, his 
voice sounding unimaginably small, barely reaching the trio.

Neil heard him, froze, turned slowly to face the elder man, his face 
stoic and unafraid.  Gendou couldn't help but wonder if Shinji would 
have looked the same, if the same strength would have been present in 
his own child.  "Neil... this isn't over.  SEELE will be coming for us, 
to try and avert what they know we've already achieved.  Their plans 
span far beyond Third Impact, and I cannot stop them alone.  Not any 
longer."  He choked on the last sentence, struggling to get out 
anything more than the boy's name.

Sighing heavily, Neil bowed his head slightly, seeming to understand.  
"I can't do otherwise," he whispered, words managing to reach Gendou 
despite the distance.  "I'm not running away."

Then they were gone, leaving Gendou alone to survey the wreckage of 
Lillith and EVA-08, the great purple form of EVA-01 standing motionless 
above both.  "Yui," he whispered, stepping towards the goliath that 
screamed triumphantly at the sky.  He could see his wife's face clearly 
enough, her delicate features, her fine brown hair that clung around 
her chin, the beautiful and affectionate smile that still warmed him 
when he closed his eyes.

Falling to his knees, Gendou could feel the tears welling in his eyes, 
bubbling up and blurring his vision, sending the scene before him into 
a mass of indistinct colors.  He could only see his wife and son, both 
gone now, only him alone left to try and carry on.  It seemed an 
unbearable burden at last, as if all the while he'd simply carried it 
by convincing himself it was possible.  Spasms of guilt shook his body, 
sending him to all fours as the first tears forced their way from his 
eyes towards the thin black metal.

Gendou Ikari, from his lone and ruined work deep within the bowels of 
the earth, wept alone before the towering goliath of EVA-01.

                                  ]++[

Unbroken by clouds, the crystal-blue canopy of the sky stretched around 
Tokyo-3, the faintest hint of a chill rushing through the air.  The sun 
still shone upon the city, however, just as it always did, its perfect 
rays streaming from high above, pointing out the perfect edges of the 
buildings, the great hole that had been carved into the Geo-Front, the 
construction equipment being lowered in to repair the half-destroyed 
Central Dogma.  It was the wind that brought the chill out, a distant 
and unfamiliar wind that seemed to blow straight down from the sky, but 
cleansing rather than oppressive.

Lying on his back, Neil simply basked in the interplay of the warm 
sunlight and the cold wind, focusing only on his breath, his eyes 
taking in scenery with a detached air.  Already they were beginning to 
rebuild Central Dogma and patch together the armor of the Geo-Front, 
though Gendou was claiming that the Japanese government's help might 
prove to be abortive.  It was only hours since the end of Third Impact, 
but already NERV had been pulled back together.

Neil closed his eyes, letting himself remember the quick meeting that 
Gendou had held with the Children, Ritsuko and Kozou flanking him as if 
it somehow lended credence to his claims that they were all in danger.  
None of them had given him a clear yes or no, except Neil.  He had been 
the first to leave, simply nodding an agreement with the other man and 
climbing to the surface, wanting time alone with himself.

"Alone," he whispered, eyes opening and taking in the shimmering 
buildings of the city, the red insignia of NERV, the way that light 
seemed to play off of anything reflective in the shape of a cross.  He 
felt a burden lifted, the sudden dearth of guilt unnaturally relieving, 
and his eyes sank closed once again as if weighted.  "How utterly 
beautiful."

It might have been days before he felt the soft touch upon his 
shoulder, and even before he opened his eyes he could feel Nieve above 
him.  "Hey," she offered, thin red hair nearly brushing his face.  
"I've been looking for you."

"Sorry," replied Neil, watching as the girl stood and went to lie 
beside him, a thin smile upon her lips.  There was the familiar pain in 
his chest, and inwardly his spirits sank ever so slightly.  Whatever 
course he took in the future, he couldn't escape the fact that he'd 
hurt her deeply.  "I just needed a little space.  A little open air."

"Mmm."  Her eyes drifted closed as she spread her arms and legs, 
seeming to bask in the sun.  "It's so beautiful here, isn't it?  With 
the sun, and this nice little wind - I think this is the nicest day 
we've had since I got here."  She smiled more earnestly, turning her 
head towards Neil.  "Makes me miss Ireland."

Neil returned the smile, looking towards him as well, folding his arms 
beneath his head.  "Are you planning on going back?" he asked, 
resisting his first instinct to feel that he'd said the worst possible 
thing.  "I mean, Gendou's offer -"

"I'm staying," she announced firmly, the smile wavering as she cast her 
eyes back towards the heavens.  "If you're staying here, so am I.  Not 
getting rid of me that easily."  She paused.  "You're not getting rid 
of me at all."

Drawing a slow, coughing breath, Neil felt his throat tighten.  This 
was what he had been terrified of, the vague dread that had kept him 
tense.  "Nieve..."  He coughed, tried to start over.  "Listen, what we 
had talked about earlier -"

"Shh."  The girl said nothing more for a moment, then edged herself 
beside Neil, letting their bodies brush together.  She hovered there, 
her lips pursed and her eyes trembling beneath closed lids.  "I 
remember everything, Neil.  But you're still not going to get rid of me 
that easily."

Neither child said a word, and Nieve almost effortlessly rolled herself 
on top of Neil.  Instantly his body reacted to her presence, the fire-
red hair framing her face and surrounding his, the perfect green eyes 
staring into his with tears brimming in them.  "I know that you've hurt 
me, Neil," she whipsered, voice trembling.  "But I... I... I don't 
care.  I know how we feel about one another, know that it wasn't out of 
malice, know..."  She paused, choking down a sob, a lone tear falling 
from her eyes.  "I trust you, Neil.  I really do."

Breathing deeply, Neil stared into the girl's eyes, amazed.  He could 
still see every way that he'd hurt her, every single blow that he'd 
dealt her, all of the things that he had every reason to feel guilty 
for.  Then he remembered Yui's words, and in a crystalline moment 
everything meant nothing.  All that mattered was the beautiful and 
lovable girl lying on top of him, and the fact that his heart was 
struggling to meet hers.  "I love you, Nieve."

"I love you, Neil."

The two brought their lips together, pressing them tightly, their arms 
moving into an embrace without words, the guilt and fear washing away 
from them as if it had never been them.  Above them stretched the 
infinite heavens, unbroken and placid, sheltering the world gently like 
the wings of a dove.

                                  ]++[

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If 
anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described 
in this book.  And if anyone takes words away from this book of 
prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and 
in the holy city, which are described in this book.
-REVELATIONS 22:18

                                  ]++[

Outro: Neon Epoch Evangelion is based off of -Shin Seiki Evangelion- by 
GAINAX and company.  It is not intended to be a straightforward fanfic, 
but it is building off the work of others, and as such it is done with 
the utmost respect for the original works and their authors.  
Basically, even though this is an original work, it's based off the 
work of others, and if you read this, you should go to see the original.

Special thanks to all of the real Children - you know who you are.

Extra special thanks to Joe Augulis for his consultation on the 
Japanese portions of the story.  He might not know much Japanese, but 
that's more than I know.

Copyright 2002 Eliot Lefebvre.  Remember, love one another.

                                 FINIS.

                                  ]++[

We only have a little time in our lives to waste.  Make the most of it.
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