From: "Rakna" <rakna@globetrotter.qc.ca>


The One I Love Is...
Chapter 12 - End of Evangelion
Written by Alain Gravel <rakna@globetrotter.qc.ca>
Based on characters created by and copyright GAINAX

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Teahouse/2236/

(*) See translations notes for details
(number) See the author's notes for details

=======================================================================

Chapter 12 - End of Evangelion
Part 1: Invasion

    "I hate this room."
    Those were the first words I had said in... I didn't even know now
long.
    I looked around. A huge room that looked even larger because of the
way it was lit by the large reinforced windows and the fluorescent
lights on the ceiling. A room that looked very bare, despite the
presence of the bed the red-headed girl was lying on and all the
equipment around her. The second bed and other extraneous furniture had
been removed, supposedly for the girl's safety. The only sound heard in
the room was the regular beeping of the cardiac monitor she was
connected to.
    "You would be much better at home."
    But I wasn't qualified to take care of her. I raised my head and
opened my eyes to look at the girl, gritting my teeth as I felt a surge
of pain in all the muscles of my neck. How long had I stayed like that,
sitting on that little stool?
    She was still asleep. But... she didn't seem to be at peace. Maybe
she was waging some sort of war inside herself. Her right wrist was
punctured with an IV drop, which kept her body alive by giving her the
nutrients it needed. I knew it wasn't enough, however, as I looked at
how pale her skin was and how she seemed to have lost some weight. But
there was only so much that doctors could do. I looked at the bandages
on her left wrist. They had already saved her life.
    "Why did you do that, Asuka?"
    Why indeed. I couldn't understand. Asuka, of all people...
    'Don't worry, I'll never bother you again. Never.'
    Was it what she really meant?
    "Damn it, Asuka! Why?! Because of me?! Was it because of me?!
Baka!!!"
    Like previous times before, I found myself crying, my tears making a
few wet spots on the bed sheets covering her chest. Then, after a few
minutes, the tears stopped as suddenly as they had come.
    But the question remained: why did she act this way?
    Maybe because... she thought she had lost everything she ever had.
    I knew the feeling. Hadn't I thought about it myself after Kaoru's
death?
    But... Asuka wasn't a coward like I was...
    They found her in an abandoned building, about the same time I
finally left the entry plug of Unit-01. She had been lying in a bathtub.
Her clothes neatly folded on a chair nearby, something she never did,
the water was red from the blood slowly leaking from her slit wrist. The
kitchen knife she had used had been found on the floor on the other side
of the bath. The security agents who had found her acted quickly enough
for the doctors to save her life. Fortunately, the infirmary kept large
reserves of all the pilots' blood types.
    Physically, she was now fine. She had suffered from a bit of
malnutrition, but nothing severe. However, she wouldn't wake up. The
doctors had said it was all up to her. She didn't wake up because she
didn't want to.
    So I waited for her to come back.
    Most of the time, I simply waited in silence. It wasn't easy. In
fact, it was exhausting. It reminded me much of my experience inside the
Twelfth Angel. There wasn't really anything else I could do but stay put
and wait. When I got too bored, I would talk to her, hoping that the
sound of my voice could reach her somehow... wherever she was. I spoke
of the past, of what I thought when I first saw her on that aircraft
carrier, looking so pretty in her yellow dress and how impressed I had
been by her air of confidence. I had admired her from the beginning. She
was all that I wasn't: strong, pretty, talented, and confident. I spoke
of our first night alone, the last day of our synchronization training,
how I had almost kissed her. I spoke of how it had been nice to live
with her, even if sometimes it had felt like some cruel torture, because
of the way she always teased and insulted me. I spoke of the Eighth
Angel, and how scared I had been when the Angel attacked her, and how
relieved I had been when I caught Unit-02 in-extremis, saving her from
imminent death. I spoke of our first date, and how I eventually enjoyed
myself, despite my decision at the time to be Rei's boyfriend. How,
despite everything, I enjoyed our first kiss and even more the second. I
spoke of the first night we spent in the same bed and how nervous I
felt, so nervous in fact that I didn't sleep at all that night. I spoke
about the trip with Touji and Hikari, and how hurt I had felt when I
thought she had just been using me, and how relieved I felt when she
admitted that she had acted this way because she loved me and feared
losing me to Rei. I spoke of the Fifteenth Angel attack, how useless I
had felt, and how relieved I had been when I saw that she wasn't
physically harmed, but how sad I felt to see how much that thing hurt
her. I spoke of the night we made love, and how good it had felt. Then I
spoke of the night she ran away. I told her everything about Rei, how
she was a clone and how she had forgotten about me. Finally, I spoke of
Kaoru. I told her everything, how she tried to get close to me, how I
tried to reject her, how I started to consider her as a friend and how I
was eventually forced to kill her.
    "Any progress, Ikari-kun?"
    The voice startled me. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I had
not heard anyone enter the room. I recognized a now familiar nurse. Her
name was Tanaka Michiru, if I was not mistaken. She was the one assigned
to this section of the infirmary on the day shift. She was a rather
plain looking woman, but she had a warm smile and was very kind. She had
even brought me a meal at the end of her shift the previous day.
    I shook my head. She seemed truly sorry for me.
    "I'm sure she will get better."
    "I really hope so."
    "You must have faith. Besides, with such a kind man waiting for her,
there's no doubt that she'll come back."
    If it wasn't my fault that she was in this bed in the first place.
    "If you don't mind, would you leave the room? I need to take care of
Pilot Sohryu."
    "Oh... of course. I guess I'll go eat something."
    I didn't really want to leave, but I couldn't argue. The infirmary
personal had been so kind to me. When I first got here, they had been
reluctant to let me in, as it was off the visiting hours. But after a
bit of arguing, the doctor in charge of Asuka had agreed to let me see
her, telling me that right now, what could help her the most was the
support of people who cared about her. Since then, I had only left the
room on one occasion, as they needed to make a few tests and give Asuka
a bath, as well as change her clothes. When I came back, I had been
surprised to see that they had set up a small futon in a corner of the
room so I wouldn't have to sleep on a chair like I had the first night.
    "You should. It wouldn't do her good if you end up yourself in one
of our beds because you overexerted yourself. You already look a bit
pale."
    I smiled.
    "Thanks for your concern."
    I stood up, grimacing as I felt as if lightning had just struck my
back. Every muscle hurt like hell. Definitely, getting up and moving a
bit would be a good idea. If the pain could subside...
    I bent down (painfully) toward Asuka and gave a soft kiss on the
sleeping girl's lips. I almost regretted I did. Those were not the moist
and soft lips I knew; they were dry, cracked, and completely
unresponsive.
    "Ikari-kun... are you alright?"
    I looked up and blinked, seeing the nurse's concerned look. Then I
realized that my cheeks were wet by a few tears.
    "I will be when she wakes up."
    I gave one last look at the sleeping girl and walked toward the
door.
    "Please, take good care of her. And if it's possible, could you put
something on her lips? They are all dried. It will hurt when she wakes
up."
    "Don't worry. I'll make her all beautiful again."
    "Thank you, Tanaka-san."

                                * * *

    I took no real pleasure in eating the rice and stir-fried vegetables
that were right before me. The taste was acceptable, but I had my mind
on other matters. I didn't feel comfortable being away from Asuka for
too long. I knew that it was very unlikely, but whenever she was out of
my sight, I feared that she just might walk away. Or maybe do something
even worse. I always dreaded entering her room, part of me fearing
finding her laying in a pool of her own blood or hanging from a ceiling,
at the end of a rope or bed sheet. Part of me tried to convince myself
that she would never do such a thing, but fact was... she had already
tried once.
    So I ate without appetite. I would have eaten faster, but I knew
that nurse Tanaka would need some time before being done with Asuka.
    I got up and was just about to dispose of my tray, when suddenly, I
heard the faint sounds of explosions, quickly followed by much stronger
ones. Then, the alert siren made itself heard all throughout NERV.
    I stood there, dumbfound. An alert? Could that be an Angel? But
Misato had said that the Seventeenth was supposed to be the last... I
didn't understand. I really regretted not having my cell phone with me.
    Very quickly, the few people that were also in the cafeteria left,
obviously in a hurry. Was this what happened each time an Angel had
attacked or was today different?
    "Don't stand there like an idiot! Go to your post!"
    "Uh?"
    I turned to see a man standing in the kitchen entrance. From the way
the man was dressed, he was obviously a cook. The man seemed in his
fifties. His head was covered with silver and black hair, except for a
bald spot, and his severe looking face was sporting an angry moustache.
The man was rather tall, and while not overly muscled, he had a large
and apparently strong stature. I found him to be very intimidating.
    "Sir, what's... what's going on?"
    If it was possible, the man's seemed even more menacing as he gave
me a cold stare.
    "What kind of idiot are you?! We're under attack!"
    "Attack? By an Angel?"
    "Angel?! I wish..."
    Then, suddenly, enlightenment became visible on the man's face, to
be quickly replaced by a frown.
    "Oh shit! You're one of those kids who pilots those giant robots,
aren't you?"
    "Well... yeah..."
    The man's frown deepened.
    "Damn! C'mere! Now!"
    The man motioned me to come in the kitchen. As another explosion
made itself heard, I didn't hesitate.
    Despite the fact that meals had just been served, the kitchen looked
almost spotless. I didn't have the time to look around however, as the
man dragged me toward an office located in the back of the kitchen.
    The office looked like the kitchen; neatly ordered. Apparently, it
was the man's office, as he seemed at ease in finding and picking up the
phone, then dialing a long series of numbers.
    "Is this a secured line?" asked the man. "Yeah, I know there's a
bloody emergency! I heard the alarm! Look... just tell that gorgeous
babe Katsuragi that I've got her little pilot boy here and would like to
get him the hell out of here, so send someone to pick him up. The
cafeteria's kitchen."
    Without another word, the man hung up the phone. I guess it would be
as good a time as any to try again the question that was on my mind.
    "What's... what's going on?"
    The man looked toward me. I was surprised to see his face soften.
    "Invasion."
    "An invasion? Someone's invading NERV?"
    "Yeah. And from the way it looks, I don't think things will be going
our way."
    An invasion. Who could be invading us? For what purpose?
    "Here."
    My thoughts were suddenly derailed as I realized the man was handing
me a gun and a holster. I gasped.
    "What... what's that?"
    "A gun."
    "I know... but... why?"
    "Your safety. You ever used a gun before?"
    Oh God! This was... too much. My mind threatened to overload any
minute.
    "I... I... I never used a real gun. I used guns with EVA, but..."
    "Same thing," said the man as he pulled a second gun from a desk
drawer before showing it to me. "You remove the safety catch here. You
point toward the target. You squeeze the trigger. As simple as that.
There's only fifteen bullets, so don't waste your shots."
    "But... but... the targets... would be people..."
    The man just gave me a stern look.
    "It's you or them. If they shoot at you and miss, shoot back."
    This was a nightmare. It had to be...
    But I knew it wasn't. I realized that I was trembling. It was no
good. It was like EVA. If I got scared now, there would be people who
would suffer because of me. I picked it up, studied the cold and black
piece of machinery and death. I then awkwardly put the holster on and
secured the gun in. The gun seemed to weigh almost a ton against my
side.
    I then remembered Misato's words.
    "One must fight for his survival."
    "That's it kid."
    I looked at the man. Unlike me, he didn't look scared at all.
    "It's not the first time... for you... I mean... I'm scared... but
you look calm."
    The man gave a small chuckle and then smiled.
    "Oh, I'm scared, kid. I just know better then to let it control me.
Properly channeled, fear makes you act more carefully."
    "Oh..."
    "And yes, it's not the first time. I was in the military a long time
ago. In the wars that followed Second Impact."
    I nodded in understanding. That explained the man's rigid attitude.
But right now, he didn't seem as cold as he did minutes before.
    "Have you... before... killed someone?"
    "Plenty. Not that I'm proud of it. But sometimes, you've got to do
what you've got to do... I'd guess you know how it's like."
    I nodded. Kaoru... I looked at the gun again. Would I be able to do
it? If someone tried to kill me, could I kill again?
    I wished I wouldn't have to find out.
    "Get down!"
    With one strong hand, the man threw me on the floor. I realized that
we could hear footsteps. Several long seconds passed and then, I heard
the man sigh as he lifted me up.
    "It's alright. Those guys are NERV."
    Indeed, as I looked through the window of the office, I recognized
the usual black attire of NERV security. Twelve men, all dressed in
black. One of the men entered and looked straight at me.
    "Come with us."
    "Where are you taking me?"
    I was getting tired of not knowing what was going on. And besides...
I felt safe here with... I realized that I didn't even know the man's
name.
    "Evangelion Unit-01."
    "Unit-01?! Why?!"
    "Those are the Major's orders."
    Misato's orders? Why would she send me to Unit-01? Did she intend me
to... fight those invasion forces?
    "You better follow these guys, kid. That Katsuragi chick has some
brains to go along with that killer bod of hers. Trust her."
    I nodded. Misato had never given me any reasons to doubt her.
    "What about you?"
    "Guess I'll come along. Staying alone here would be risky. And I'd
feel bad letting a kid like you go all alone with a bunch of goons in
black."
    The man smiled at me. The security agent didn't show any expression,
apparently choosing to ignore the insult.
    "Thanks."

                                * * *

    Maybe the situation hadn't been as bad as the cook had made it look.
We had been walking for maybe ten minutes and had avoided the enemy
forces so far. There had been a few close calls; we could still hear the
sound of gunfire and explosions, but we were alright. The man that lead
the security team in charge of me appeared to be getting new information
every minute or so, probably coming from Central Command. I guessed that
Misato probably looked at our progress through the security cameras and
MAGI.
    I was just beginning to relax when all hell broke loose. Suddenly,
there seemed to be bullets all around us. The agents that were covering
our backs grunted and fell, soon laying in pools of their own blood. I
gasped as I felt what seemed like an intense burning feeling on one of
my legs. It had just been scratched by a bullet. Just a centimeter on
the left and it would have penetrated flesh rather than just grazing the
skin. I had no time however to reflect on that as I felt someone pick me
up and then tell me to run as fast as I could. We ran without really
looking where we were going. As we turned a corner, I saw two security
agents pull their guns and shoot, only to be crippled by a dozen
bullets. At least it seemed to have slowed down our adversaries.
    I don't know just how long we ran, but when we finally stopped, I
was completely exhausted and about to fall on my knees. I realized with
horror that from the twelve men that had been accompanying me and the
cook, only one remained.
    "Well, this ain't pretty..." whispered the cook to me. "'think you
should hide under here, kid," he added, pointing toward a stairway.
    "But..."
    "Just do it. Let us take care of things. And if they find you...
remember what you said. One must fight for his survival."
    I nodded. But... those were merely words...
    Still, I went under the stairway, trying to blend in the shadows as
much as I could, and pulled out my gun.
    The next minute felt like years. I heard the exchange of bullets and
screams of pain. It all ended with the sound of a machine gun.
    From my hiding place, I saw three men in black military gear walk in
front of the stairway. I heard the sound of a radio, then one of the men
spoke.
    "We've found a pilot. Proceeding with elimination."
    They had found me!
    Frantically, I pulled on the trigger. Nothing happened. Someone
grabbed the gun from my hands before I realized I had forgotten to
remove the safety catch. I was pulled forcefully from my hiding place,
and one of the men forced me to kneel. He removed the safety of my gun
and I felt its cold tip touch my forehead.
    "Don't blame me, kid."
    People say that a real man faces death with open eyes. I guess I
must not have been a man, as I closed mine, hoping it might delay the
inevitable.
    It didn't work, as a second later, the sound of gunfire made itself
heard.

=======================================================================

First Interlude: Terminal Dogma

    The look on his face was priceless.
    That's what Doctor Akagi Ritsuko thought as she watched Ikari Gendo
from the shadows. He was standing by a small pile of discarded clothes,
looking around for the girl to whom they belong, puzzlement clearly
showing on his face. It was so comical she actually laughed, something
she hadn't done in a long time.
    "Rei?"
    Ritsuko frowned. That bastard couldn't even recognize the sound of
her voice...
    "Lost something, Ikari?"
    "Akagi."
    His face now showed no emotions, but for a brief moment, Ritsuko
thought she had seen surprise. Had that been a real show of emotions, or
only a figment of her imagination, like those brief moments she thought
she had seen love in his eyes as she shared his bed?
    She walked out of the shadow, and stood by one of the many LCL
pools. Pools linked together, forming the shape of the Tree of
Sephiroth.
    "What are you doing here?"
    One of his hands was now in one of his jacket pockets, no doubt
clutching the gun she knew he kept there.
    "Just finishing the work I started."
    This time, the shock on his face was real. Of course, it concerned
Rei after all...
    "Have you killed Rei?" he asked, a touch of steel in his voice.
    Ritsuko smiled gently.
    "That would wreck your plans, wouldn't it? Cutting the doll's
strings would leave you with nothing, all your sacrifices would have
been for nothing."
    Even as the Commander's eyes narrowed slightly, the doctor's small,
serene smile never changed. Neither spoke for moments, the soft lapping
of LCL whispering around them.
    "No, I didn't kill her. As much as I wanted to, to erase the doll
that you chose over me. I killed all the others, but her... no, I didn't
take her life."
    Here, the doctor's smile widened, showing just a bit of teeth.
    "For the second time, I gave her life."
    Commander Ikari didn't move as he considered all the ramifications
of the doctor's words.
    "The memory wipe," he finally said, not as a question, but a simple
statement of fact.
    "I freed her. A more fitting revenge and a way to atone for the pain
I have caused your son. Using hypnosis and drugs to lock away Rei's
memories of your son had the advantage of saving time, as Rei could keep
her experience as a pilot and could be programmed to obey you. A memory
wipe, in so little time, would have, after all, left her in a state
close to a newborn baby. But it had its flaw. A lock also means that a
key exists..."
    Although she hoped for some sign of outrage from Gendo, none came.
Still with that small smile the doctor continued.
    "I unlocked the memory block! Fairly easy if you're the one who put
it on in the first place. I only had to say a few key words. How does it
feel when the puppet master has lost its strings to his puppet?"
    Looking up towards the darkened roof, her mind's eye gazed towards
the Magi. "I've given life back to a child. Mother... is this what it
feels like to give birth?"
    "Where is she?"
    Dr. Akagi shrugged. It was of so little importance, his demands. He
would probably kill her, but she was cocooned in material warmth,
nothing could touch her...
    "Probably looking for your son. No need to go after her. She won't
obey you anymore. You lost."
    "Who said I needed her to act of her own free will?"
    His voice struck Ritsuko with a force so hard she though he had shot
her with words. Snapping her eyes down she stared at him in horror.
    "She killed herself to protect the Third Children. If his life is
threatened again, she will do as I wish."
    Ritsuko simply couldn't believe what she was hearing.
    "I can't believe that you would be that heartless."
    "I'm too close to my goal to be stopped now."
    The Doctor shivered. He was serious.
    He finally pulled his gun out.
    "I'm sorry, you might interfere again."
    His next words were spoken softly, only for her ears in this
isolated place.
    The tension fled from Akagi Ritsuko's shoulders, leaving behind a
strange feeling of peace. "Liar."
    The sound of gunfire boomed in the dark room and Akagi Ritsuko fell
limply into one of the LCL pools. Ikari Gendo watched the body a moment,
then left in search of the key to his plans.

=======================================================================

Part 2: Escape

    It all happened very fast. So fast in fact that I think I only
understood what was going on after everything was over. My brain
received the data, but froze for a moment, before analyzing it.
    I heard the sound of a gunshot, but did not immediately registered
the fact that if I could hear it, it meant that I wasn't dead. Then,
there were other gunshots. I had barely opened my eyes to see a dead man
right in front of me, then, I looked to my right to see Misato holding a
soldier against a wall and pointing her gun under his chin. The third
soldier was the same as the first; on the floor, dead.
    "Don't blame me either."
    Those words said, Misato pulled the trigger. I watched in horror as
the wall behind the man became painted in red and his lifeless body
slumped to the floor. I had never seen Misato this cold before. It was a
side of her... that scared me.
    "Are you all right, Shinji?"
    There was no concern in her voice. Her eyes were of ice.
    I looked around me. There were bodies on all sides. Blood on the
wall and floor. I looked at the man in black and the cook that had
pointlessly given their lives to try and save mine. I suddenly felt sick
and threw up. Guess I shouldn't have had that lunch earlier after all.
    "Are you all right?"
    I felt an hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Misato staring at
me, this time obviously concerned.
    "Not really... but I'm not injured if that's what you want to
know..."
    Even if she looked like the Misato I knew, the images of her killing
a man in cold blood had shook me at my very core.
    "What about your leg?"
    Now that she mentioned it, it did hurt and there was some blood on
my pants...
    "Unbuckle you pants so that I can take a look."
    She had that look again. Did battle do that to people?
    She helped me get up and I did as she told me. The wound was
superficial and it wasn't bleeding too much. Still, Misato insisted on
bandaging it. I almost threw up again as I saw her rip a piece of cloth
from one of the corpses to make a temporary bandage.
    "Good," said Misato as I put my pants back on, satisfied of her
work. "Let's go. To Unit-01."
    I removed the holster from my shoulders and followed Misato's lead,
more because I couldn't stand staying here than because I wanted to
follow her.

                                * * *

    For long minutes, I let myself be guided by Misato. I followed every
one of her orders blindly, not even trying to see if they made sense or
not. I guess I was still under the shock of what I had just been
through. Quite frankly, I think that seeing people killing each other is
far more horrifying and disturbing than battling a monster as tall as a
building. At least, a monster IS a monster, not a human being like you.
The fact that I often had to walk on dead bodies while following Misato
probably didn't help my mental health in any way.
    Eventually, we ended up in one of Headquarters' parking lots. A few
bodies on the floor were testament that this place had already been
"cleaned". For this reason, it was almost deserted. We only saw one
guard, which Misato killed on sight. We waited for a full minute and
since the shot had not attracted any other soldiers, Misato dragged me
toward the fresh corpse. I watched in disgust as Misato searched the
body and retrieved a radio. A bit of the man's blood was on it.
    Dragging me between two cars, Misato told me to sit down and then
put on the radio's headphones. She listened for a while, her expression
becoming more tense, some bits of swearing escaping her lips from time
to time.
    "This is bad," she finally said, as she removed the headphones.
"They're cutting every access route between you and Unit-01."
    Finally, in this relative calm, I found the strength to ask a
question that was torturing me.
    "Misato-san... why... why do you want to get me to Unit-01 so
badly?"
    "You will be safer inside it. We've already got Asuka inside Unit-
02. She can remain there for a long time, you should know yourself.
And... Unit-01 may be our last hope..."
    "You want me to fight in it, don't you?"
    Misato considered the question a bit and nodded.
    "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore..."
    "I know Shinji... but if you don't help us, we'll all die. I'm not
asking you to go out and kill them all. Just keep them away from
Headquarters. Block them with your AT-Field. If you can, disable their
vehicles. And if we're lucky, the sight of Unit-01 may be enough to keep
the JSSDF away."
    Block them and scare them away. It didn't seem too bad. And if I
could do that... people would stop killing each other.
    "I... I guess I can do that..."
    "If we can find Rei, we'll try to send her to Unit-02. Then she can
take over."
    "Yes..."
    I could imagine that Ayanami would show no hesitation in fighting
our enemies.
    I got a bit worried as I saw Misato's face get even more serious.
    "There's one more thing, Shinji. There's... there's a chance that
they may use the Production Model EVA series against us. As far as I
know, there may be up to nine of them ready. You'll have to be
careful..."
    I gasped.
    "Nine EVAs!"
    Nine EVAs. EVA... that also meant...
    "I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, there's no way they could
have gathered and trained nine pilots so fast. They'll be using dummy
plugs. Remember what Ritsuko said, the things in the dummy plugs are
just puppets. They have no souls. Don't hesitate."
    I remembered. The dummy plug room. All those Ayanami clones...
    "I... I understand."
    "Let's go."
    I nodded. I wasn't sure I wanted to do that, even less if I was
ready to do it, but I had no choice.
    "What the hell?! Those damn sons of bitches!"
    I froze in my tracks as Misato lost herself in a litany of insults.
It took me a while to understand why.
    We were standing in front of the charred remains of a car. I tried
to ignore the fuming body that was lying on it's hood.
    A plaque on the wall behind the car said: "Major Katsuragi Misato"
    Very obviously, a NERV officer had been standing right in front of
her car when a JSSDF soldier decided to blow the officer up. The car
blew up as well... Had the situation not been so grim, I might have
burst out laughing at Misato's lack of luck.
    Still swearing, Misato dragged me toward another blue sport car. She
then broke a window and we "borrowed" it.

                                * * *

    Misato was recklessly (or in her case, normally) driving through the
parking lot, not even making efforts to avoid the occasional body she
rolled over, when suddenly, I thought it was the end of the world. More
accurately, we felt a powerful earthquake, strong enough for Misato to
loose her grip on the wheel and hit a parked car. Had I not had my
seatbelt attached, I guess I may just have got hurt pretty badly.
    "What.... what was that?!"
    "Oh shit!" Misato answered simply before taking the wheel back on
her hands, backing off a bit and then driving like her life depended on
it. The brakes screamed as she stopped right on what seemed like a car
lift, centimeters from the wall. I think Misato said something, but I
didn't pay attention... I was just glad I had not wet my pants. Misato
rushed out of the car, slipped her ID card in a slot on the upper right
of the lift and as the lift descended, she rushed in.
    "Get your head between your knees and hold tight, this is going to
be a rocky descent!"
    I just did as she told and was glad I did as I felt the entire
Headquarter being rocked by another earthquake. I knew better this time
however, as I could clearly hear the obvious sound of an explosion. Or
rather multiple explosions.
    "My God! What's going on?!"
    The car was shaking so much I started to wonder if the lift wouldn't
give and if we wouldn't fall at the bottom of... where ever we were
going down...
    Then it all stopped and we continued to go down smoothly.
    "I think that the first quake was caused by an N2 mine. I think
those bastards blew up what was left of Tokyo-3. We didn't really have
time to make repairs to the armor plates after the explosion of Unit-00,
so they probably got through."
    "An N2 mine! But... It must have killed thousands of people!"
    "I hope not. The city was pretty much evacuated..."
    Still, her silence suggested that there probably was a good number
of casualties.
    "The second quake was no doubt a direct air strike against NERV
Headquarters itself. If this place had not been built to resist Angel
attacks, we'd probably all be dead by now."
    "My God... this is so crazy."
    "It is."
    Suddenly, the lift stopped, indicating we arrived at our
destination. Misato got out of the car and slid her card to open two
reinforced steel doors in front of us. They opened to reveal a dimly lit
passage way. Misato got back in the car and drove in. As we got in the
passage way, I gasped at the dimensions. It was huge.
    "This place look big enough for an EVA to stand."
    Misato nodded.
    "This access tunnel goes all the way through NERV. It's been built
to move an EVA around in case the catapults would stop functioning. Had
the Ninth Angel been inside of Geofront instead of trying to melt it's
way through from above, you would have used this route. Normally, I
wouldn't have access to this part of Headquarters, but... someone I
loved left me a parting gift..."
    Misato kept a stern face, but I could tell that mentioning it was
hard on her. Someone she loved... Kaji.
    "Let's go to Unit-01," I told her, trying to take example on her
courage. She nodded and we drove right into the bowels of NERV.

                                * * *

    "Why are they attacking us?" I asked as Misato drove.
    I was trying to set the car's radio to NERV's emergency frequency. I
was sure I had done it correctly, however it just remained silent.
Misato had however said it could happen, as the JSSDF were probably
listening to all radio frequencies, so the people from Central Command
probably wouldn't use it.
    "I think they want EVA for themselves. They're probably just
puppets, manipulated without even knowing it."
    "Manipulated? By whom?"
    "The people who created NERV. The Committee. SEELE. We've defeated
the Angels, so now they must get rid of us, since now NERV is the only
obstacle in their way."
    "What... what do they want?"
    "They want a Third Impact. Not through the Angels, but with the EVA
series. The Second Impact fifteen years ago was caused by humans, by
them, on purpose. The damage was minimized by making Adam into an egg,
before the Angels awakened. Shinji, we, humans, just like Adam, are born
from a life form called Lilith, the source of all living creatures. You
saw her when you battled Tabris. We are the 18th Angel. The other Angels
were other possibilities of what humans could have become. Listen,
Shinji. Destroy all the EVAs. This is the only way to keep yourself and
everyone alive. Shinji, you must...
    Misato was suddenly interrupted as the radio suddenly came to life,
thanks to Maya's wonderful voice. Her words were even more wonderful.
    "My god! Unit-02 has activated. Asuka... Asuka is awake! She's still
alive!"
    Both Misato and I gasped! Asuka! She was alright! And she was
piloting EVA!
    Misato was now smiling widely.
    "Guess our chances just got better. Let's hurry up, I'm sure she'll
need the help."
    Forgetting about the concept of safety, Misato pushed the car to
it's limit. She almost came to a stop after a minute. She drove slowly,
looking for something, before finally pointing two small doors.
    "Let's go."
    We just got out of the car when we again heard Maya through the
radio.
    "It's... it's impossible... Nine EVAs were just launched above
Geofront and are slowly descending, circling around Unit-02..."
    "Shit!"
    Misato picked up her cell phone and punched in a similar number to
the one I'd seen the cook use earlier, in the kitchen's office.
    "Makoto. Relay my call to Unit-02. Now!"
    With her free hand, Misato slipped her card in a slot and silently
motioned me to enter the now opening doors. She followed me into a small
elevator. Soon, we were going up and Misato was talking to Asuka.
    "Asuka, you must destroy that group of EVAs. Shinji will come to
assist you very shortly. Do your best." She then terminated the call and
pushed the redial button. "It's me again. Can Unit-01 use exit #20?
Excellent."
    She closed the phone and put it in her jacket. She then looked at me
and smiled.
    "You'll be with her again soon."
    The idea may have been comforting if I hadn't known that Asuka was
now forced to fight a battle where she was outnumbered nine to one.

                                * * *

    "Here it is."
    We were standing in front of a open door. Above it, I could see the
designation 'Emergency Elevator R-10-20'. Even though we ran, it had
taken us an entire minute to get here. A minute. Considering that Asuka
was risking her life out there, it was an awful lot of time.
    We were about to go in when suddenly bullets flew all around us.
Before I could even react, Misato grabbed me and we ran into the room. I
did notice, however, Misato's grunt of pain before we entered the room.
As quickly as possible, Misato pressed a button that closed the steel
doors behind us. Just in time as we heard an explosion. Then, Misato
slumped against a wall and let herself fall to the floor. We hadn't run
very much, but she suddenly looked very weak.
    Had she been shot?
    "I guess we'll be safe for a moment... Are you okay, Shinji-kun?"
    "Misato-san... you're hurt..."
    She tried to give me a reassuring smile. She didn't quite succeed.
    "It's nothing serious... just a scratch... it won't kill me."
    Slowly, she struggled to get up. For a scratch, it seemed to hurt a
lot. She bent toward two closed door labeled as R-20 and pushed a
button. They opened to reveal an elevator.
    "Good. The power is still on. It'll work."
    She then looked at me, her eyes serious, but her face soft and calm.
    "Hey, Shinji.. from now on you are alone. You'll have to make the
decisions by yourself now."
    She couldn't mean...
    "What...? I don't understand... aren't you coming with me?"
    She shook her head.
    "But you can't stay here..."
    "I... I... I have to stay to make sure no one follows you..."
    "But the soldiers..."
    "They won't get me."
    "No."
    Her eyes went wide as I said this very simple word.
    "I won't go if you stay."
    For a few seconds, Misato seemed to think, then nodded.
    "Alright."
    She did not follow me, however. In one swift move, she pushed me
into the elevator. I saw her, smiling at me, before the elevator doors
closed. The ride didn't take long. Not even half a minute. As the
elevator stopped and the door opened, I felt the ground shake and heard
the sound of a loud explosion. An explosion very close.
    "No... no... NO! Misato-san!!!!"

=======================================================================

Second Interlude: The one who stayed behind

    Katsuragi Misato winced in pain as she leaned against a wall. While
her injury really wasn't lethal, she had lied to Shinji; it would kill
her. That was the reason why she had stayed; if she had followed, he
would have gotten himself worried and would have forgotten all about EVA
just to take care of her. She sighed. Her left arm was pretty much
useless and the right one was busy trying to slow down the blood flow.
And worse, there was an unknown number of UN soldiers, just a few meters
away, probably ready to strike any second now.
    She was already dead. Her body just wasn't aware of that yet.
    She felt the tears sliding down her cheeks.
    Closing her eyes, she let herself slowly fall to the ground. She
couldn't stop the tears from flowing. She would die, along with Kaji's
baby.
    She would never be a mother after all...
    At least Shinji was safe... for the moment.
    "Shinji..."
    She hoped he would be all right. And she hoped that Asuka would be
safe as well. Nine against one... the odds were against her, even if she
was an excellent pilot.
    "I hope you get there in time, Shinji..."
    Suddenly, she heard the sound of an explosion. The UN had probably
decided to simply blow her up. That was it.
    But she didn't die.
    It took a few seconds for her to realize that. Surprised, she opened
her eyes, to see a familiar yellow hexagonal shape right in front of
her, blocking what seemed like a wall of fire.
    An AT-Field!
    Looking at her right, she realized that Rei was there, completely
naked, a look of concern on her face. Concern? Could it be... that...
her memories were back?
    "Rei...? How...?"
    "You do not look well, Major."
    "Rei... what... what are you doing here?"
    "I sensed Shinji's presence."
    'Shinji' she has said. So she did remember!
    "He went to Unit-01's cage..."
    "Then his destiny is in her hands."
    Her? Did she mean... Shinji's mother... Yui?
    "We must go," the girl simply said as she indicated with her hand
that the flames had died down.
    "We can't."
    "You need medical attention."
    Sadly, Misato shook her head.
    "They'll shoot us on sight, Rei."
    "No, they will not," replied the girl, a confident smirk appearing
on her face.
    Never before had Katsuragi seen such an expression on that face.
Painfully, she stood up, then smiled at the girl.
    "Alright Rei, I trust you. Show me what you can do."
    Her smile faded, however, as Rei pointed out the air vent she had
used to get into the room. Clearly, she expected to take the same route
out... of what little remained of the room. Misato groaned. This would
be a very painful escape...

=======================================================================

Part 3: Rage

    I was sitting curled up in a ball, in a corner of the elevator. I
prayed that I would wake up from this nightmare. This had to be a
nightmare. It had to be...
    'Call me Misato. Pleased to meet you, Ikari Shinji-kun.'
    Misato-san.
    'Shinji-kun, this is your home!'
    She had taken me into her home. No. Into her life.
    'You've done something admirable today. You can be proud of
yourself.'
    She had believed in me when others had not, including myself. She
had always been there to give me support.
    'I'm not the kind of person who can live with a stranger just out of
sympathy, or because it's my job.' (1)
    Together, we had been like a family. She had been more than a
guardian and a commanding officer. More then a friend. She had been
like... a mother. And again, I had... lost...
    I had lost the only family I had left...
    'Somehow... it will be okay, Shinji... I promise...'
    It wasn't okay... it wasn't. Things were even worse... even worse...
    'You think you have no hope left, but you are wrong. It's not all
lost...'
    Liar... liar... LIAR!!! Why?! Why?! Why did she have to die?! WHY?!
    I was crying now, tears finally flowing freely. Only half a minute
had passed, but... it had felt like years. Years filled with pain and
sorrow.
    I may have stayed in there, either crying or in a daze for a long
time, but a voice cut through the fog of confusion and sadness like a
knife.
    "Dammit! Baka-Shinji! Move your big purple ass up here so I can kick
it!!! Scheisse!" (*)
    For a few seconds, all thoughts about Misato were forgotten. Asuka?
For some reason, I realized that I could hear what was going on through
the room's speakers. Then I remembered *what* was going on. The battle
Asuka was waging outside. Why Misato had sent me here.
    Misato...
    'Even if all the Angels are gone, I feel this war is not over yet.
Mankind may still depend on you, Shinji. So we need you to be strong and
you need to be strong for yourself, as well as those you love.'
    Strong...
    'Listen, Shinji. Destroy all the EVAs. This is the only way to keep
yourself and everyone alive.'
    Destroy the EVAs. This had been Misato's wish. Her last wish. It was
the reason she had sacrificed her life. I got up, hands closed into
fists. The tears still flowed, but I did my best to stand straight.
    I'd be damned if Misato's sacrifice was in vain.
    I would ride Unit-01 once more and finish it all.
    All hope I had left crashed down at the sight before me. There was
bakelite. Everywhere. Blocking any access to the entry plug.
    "No... no... no! It's not fair! It's not fair!!!"
    To have come this far, to have lost all that I loved... for this!
Kaji dead... for nothing! Rei gone... for nothing! I had killed Kaoru...
just so this would happen! Misato had sacrificed herself... so I could
sit less than ten meters away from Unit-01 and do nothing!!!
    I was ready to give up there and then when I heard Asuka again.
    "I'll definitely win! Momma is watching me!"
    Momma. Mother.
    "Mother! Mother! Please! Help me! Help me..."
    My pleas did not go unanswered. We could never figure out exactly
just how much Mother was aware of what was going on outside the EVA. But
it seemed that, when I was concerned, Mother, or rather Unit-01, seemed
to possess a degree of awareness. This was however not something I dwelt
on long.
    Bakelite and restraints broke and a giant purple and green arm
emerged to hit the wall were I was standing. By reflex, I closed my
eyes. I was sure that I was going to die. But as a few seconds passed, I
came to the conclusion that I wasn't dead, so I opened my eyes. Unit-
01's hand was just beneath me. Then I realized what it had tried to do.
If I climbed on its arm, there was a passageway I would be able to
reach. I didn't stop to think that if I slipped and fell, I'd likely
kill myself. I started to climb with a speed that only a madman would
possess.
    I had let so many people down, so many people had been hurt or had
even died because of me.
    I would not let it happen to Asuka.

                                * * *

    Her scream. I heard it very clearly. I still hear it sometimes in my
nightmares. Asuka was hurt. Badly.
    And I was not there.
    It took all my concentration not to forget the task at hand.
    Entering the entry plug, I initialized commands for manual
activation. Soon, basic control activated and I wasted no time in
closing the hatch and entering the command for plug insertion. Once
inside, I immediately felt the connection. It was like never before. It
felt... like a surge of energy. It nearly overwhelmed me. But it also
felt incredibly good.
    With a with a low, guttural howl, Unit-01 activated. A large section
of Headquarters blew up. At the center of the explosion was Unit-01,
floating, two wings of golden light spread. To many witnesses, it looked
like a demon that had just escaped from hell.
    I opened my eyes and then saw a scene that will probably haunt me
the rest of my life. I saw nine white EVAs, circling around what was
left of Headquarters. And in their hands, or even worse, their mouths,
they held the remains of what had once been Unit-02.
    "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"
    I think that I lost part of my mind at that moment. Yet, my thoughts
were still crystal clear.
    Mother.
    Father along with Mother.
    Kaji.
    Rei.
    Kaoru.
    Misato.
    And now Asuka.
    Asuka!!!
    All those who had meant something to me, all those I had cared
for... they were all dead. I had nothing, nothing left. Nothing to
expect. No hope.
    No. I was wrong. I did have something left, one more reason to
remain alive, even if it would only be for a few more minutes.
    Revenge!
    "Die... die... die... die! Die! Die! You monsters! You killed Asuka!
I'll kill you! Kill you! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"
    The EVA let out a loud furious growl as I shouted those words. I
opened my self totally to the EVA and we became one. This time however,
I was in perfect control and while I was barely aware of it, I knew that
this time my body had not been consumed by the beast. I later learned
that I had reached a stable synch ratio of 99,9999999%. (2)
    We let ourselves float down toward the ground and once we reached
it, we raised our hand and brought it down furiously, as if we were
attempting to claw the air in front of us. High above, the hexagonal
shapes of two AT-Fields appeared, then seemed to burst. One of the enemy
EVAs erupted in a shower of blood and fell right to the ground. A second
one had its wings and pieces of its armor ripped and it too fell. This
time, we let out a growl of savage satisfaction, as two of our prey were
laying on the ground, helpless. We slowly approached the one that was
closest to us. The damage was heavy but the EVA could still function.
However, Asuka had apparently sliced this EVA to the waist, so all it
could do was wait for its wings to regenerate enough so it could fly
away. We didn't leave it the chance, as we grabbed both wings and ripped
them apart. We then grabbed an arm and pulled, ripping it apart as well.
We might have played for a while with our prey if the voice of Makoto
had not been heard through the comm.
    "Shinji-kun! Be careful! These EVAs are not like conventional EVAs.
They can regenerate themselves and reactivate even after they seem
dead."
    I had guessed as much. Asuka had caused them a lot of damage. But
they still moved. So these things were almost like Angels. And there was
only one way to destroy an Angel...
    We wasted no time in ripping the remaining armor from the EVA. We
then saw it. A dark red orb. The EVA S2 engine. We held it tightly in
one hand and pulled hard. The white EVA howled in pain, then went
silent. With a horrible ripping sound, the S2 engine came off. It shone
for a second, then went dead, almost black. Unit-01 raised a bloodied
hand and roared.
    We would probably have moved toward the second fallen EVA had we not
noticed an object falling toward the ground.
    Unit-02! Or at least, what was left of it...
    After a split second decision, we ran toward its probable point of
impact and leapt into the air. We caught Unit-02's torso and head and in
one swift move, threw it in the lake in front of Headquarters.
    I had no real hope that Asuka was still alive. But the least I could
do was make sure that her body stayed intact. There had been nothing
left after the death of both my mother and Rei. There would probably be
nothing left of Misato either. I didn't want Asuka's grave to be a
tombstone with an empty coffin.
    As those thought crossed my mind, my rage grew.
    With a mighty roar, Unit-01 ran toward the other fallen EVA that was
now struggling to stand on its single right leg. A purple fist hit its
ugly head full strength. It blew up in a shower of blood and it fell to
the ground. But this probably wasn't enough. Unit-01's put it's foot on
the other EVA's back and pushed hard. The armored plates gave way under
the pressure. Now I could be sure it wouldn't get up. This was an EVA,
so destroying its power source was not the only way to stop it.
Destroying its entry plug would do just as well.
    I screamed as suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my chest, like nothing
I had never felt in my life. I coughed some blood and nearly passed out.
    'Watch out.'
    Mother?
    I heard those words in my mind and raised my head to see a lance
coming our way. We barely dodged it. I then realized that a similar
lance was going right through Unit-01's chest and exited at the bottom
of its back. It had nearly pinned us to the ground. Apparently, they had
decided to attack from their position in the air. Taking the lance with
both hands, we pulled. I screamed and felt more blood in my mouth as
slowly the lance was pulled out of Unit-01's body. We had to interrupt
the painful process, as we barely avoided another lance. Quickly, we
grabbed the lance again and pulled it out in one last painful shot.
Then, despite the pain, we threw it toward one of the flying EVAs. It
was struck dead center and I was surprised to see it blow up, the
explosion hitting three other EVAs and throwing them to the ground.
Apparently, I had been lucky enough to hit it right were its S2 engine
had been.
    We picked up one of the lances that had been thrown at us. As we
took it, it changed from a simple lance to a familiar double pointed
lance. Rei had used a similar lance against the Fifteenth Angel.
    Ignoring the pain, we charged the closest Evangelion. Asuka had
heavily damaged it, as it was missing an arm and its head hanged limply,
its neck apparently broken. We gave it no chance to get ready to fight.
In one swoop, we used the lance as if it had been a sword and sliced its
head off. It fell violently to the ground. We brought our foot on its
chest and crushed it, until I was sure that the entry plug on it's back
had been crushed as well.
    Noticing a presence at the extreme limit of my field of vision, I
saw an EVA charging us, intending to hit us with its lance. We blocked
the blow, but lost our grip on our weapon. That EVA had showed a lot of
strength, considering that it had almost been sliced in half under the
shoulders. We had lost our weapon, but it didn't matter. With a roar and
all our strength, we punched it under the chest. Unit-01's fingers,
extended as claws, went right through armor and flesh and its hand
exited on the back, holding the other EVA S2 engine in it. We let the S2
engine fall on the ground and removed our arm from the EVA, letting it
fall as well.
    I then suddenly realized that the other EVAs had either landed or
gotten up and were slowly circling us.
    'Finally! We can take the offensive against the Angel!'
    'What difference does it makes?'
    'Baka! Everyone knows that the best defense is a good offense!'
    Asuka had said that during our transport toward Mt. Asamayama, where
later Asuka had been forced to fight the Eighth Angel.
    'The best defense is a good offense!'
    Pulling our progressive knife, we charged towards one of the five
remaining EVAs. It's head was a mess of tissue in mid regeneration and
it had problems standing straight, suggesting that it had suffered some
damage in the back as well. With one swoop, we cut off the its right
arm, which held a lance. It tried to grab us with its remaining arm and
we used the close proximity to stab it in the back, where I knew the
entry plug was inserted. The EVA went still and we easily threw it on
the ground. We quickly bent to pick its severed arm, which still held a
lance, and had to avoid a series of strike coming from two other EVAs.
    The others were closing in fast.
    Four against one. Those were not good odds...

=======================================================================

Third Interlude: Help from the shadows

    "Begin operation."
    It felt as if he had said those words years ago. But it had been
only minutes. For a moment, it had seemed like things would go smoothly.
Asuka had been doing great dealing with the JSSDF forces.
    That is, until SEELE's nine EVAs had landed inside the Geofront.
    Even then, for a while, it seemed that Asuka would manage to
actually destroy them all. That was until she got hit by a Lancea
Longini copy. Out of power and pinned down to the ground, there was
nothing she could do to stop the white monsters, as they reactivated and
slowly regenerated.
    Kaji Ryouji had seen a lot in his life, but nothing had looked as
sickening as the sight of Unit-02 being eaten by the white EVAs. Asuka
didn't deserve such a cruel fate. Tears silently made their way down his
cheeks as he helplessly watched the struggling EVA being pierced by all
the other eight Lancea Longini copies, then ripped apart by the hungry
mouths of its adversaries. Asuka had, after all, been almost like a
little sister to him.
    He then watched with awe the apparition of Unit-01 and its own fight
with the nine EVAs. The boy was fighting like a madman, apparently not
caring in the least for his life. Never before had the purple EVA seemed
so powerful and frightening. Despite everything, Kaji smiled. Shinji had
come a long way...
    "My God! This is unbelievable!"
    "Of course," Kaji replied to the cameraman at his side, obviously
both excited and scared by what he was filming. "I told you that you
would be filming history in the making."
    Already, the man had forgotten about Kaji, trying frantically to
film as much of the fight as he could.
    Kaji gave one last look at the purple EVA, then tried to concentrate
on the business at hand.
    "Status?" he asked, having opened his cell phone and dialed a now
very familiar number.
    "Invasion of MAGI proceeding as planned. New York will soon be taken
over, then the rest will follow easily."
    Kaji smirked. Those fools! By using the other five MAGI systems of
the world to take over NERV's system, they had left those computers
virtually defenseless. While a system like MAGI didn't have much to fear
from a single hacker, Kaji had spent the last weeks gathering together
some of the greatest, if not sometimes wild, minds in computer science.
Using all the data he had managed to acquire from NERV and the UN,
getting in those systems, in such a weakened state, was almost child's
play.
    Ritsuko might have been proud of him.
    "New York under our control, as well as Moscow and China."
    "Good. Proceed with steps two and three."
    Step two consisted of uploading on a worldwide level all the data
Kaji had been able to gather about NERV, SEELE, as well as their
relations with the UN and the JSSDF, the Angels, and Second Impact. The
MAGI would also take over all communication satellites and transmit
images on every TV channel possible. Soon, the entire would know of what
had occurred and was still occurring in Tokyo-3. Or rather what remained
of it.
    Step three consisted of tracing SEELE's computers and downloading as
much data as possible. One of Kaji's hopes was that they could find how
SEELE controlled the Type 5 EVA series and find a way to stop them. Even
if Shinji was doing a good job on his own, he was still outnumbered.
    "Communication established with target's system. Target's system
currently in communication with satellite in orbit."
    Kaji smiled. They had a chance!
    "Can you confirm that this satellite is used to remotely control the
target's Evangelions?"
    "Confirmed."
    "Excellent. Send ejection codes on that signal."
    There was only a slight chance that this would work. If SEELE had
changed the codes for the controls on that EVA model, that plan would
fail. It was also possible that the intrusion on SEELE's system would be
detected any second now...
    Kaji almost let out a scream of joy when two of the white EVAs
suddenly stopped, their entry plug being ejected.
    "Connection with target's system has been terminated."
    That much was expected. Still, they had managed to stop two of the
remaining EVAs. And from what he was hearing on a radio Kaji had
"borrowed" from a JSSDF soldier, apparently the orders to invade NERV
had just been nullified.
    "Maybe I was able to keep my promise after all," Kaji thought, as he
remembered his vow to protect Misato and the Children from the shadows.

=======================================================================

Part 4: Choice

    Things were not going well. Two EVAs had managed to grab hold of us
while a third was about to shove its lance right through Unit-01's
chest. As hard as we fought to get free, the two other EVAs managed to
overpower Unit-01.
    Then, a miracle occurred. The EVA that was about to kill us stopped
moving for some reason and its entry plug ejected. I also felt the EVA
holding my right arm loose its hold. I didn't try to understand what was
going on; we just grabbed the neck of the other EVA with our free hand
and squeezed. That EVA was a pretty ugly sight, as there were metal
spikes embedded in its heavily damaged head. Asuka had not been tender
with it. It didn't get prettier when its neck suddenly snapped. It let
go of me and it only took one punch in the back to make sure it would
bother no one ever again.
    Now, only one remained. It had been standing at a distance from us.
Whether it was because it wasn't needed or simply because it had
intended to watch the other EVAs finish us, I never knew. Not that I
cared. It only had signs of moderate damage to the chest. This one had
probably been the last one Asuka had battled before she was finally
beaten.
    We picked up the lance that had threatened to pierce us a few
moments earlier and faced the remaining white Evangelion. It seemed to
stare at us. We raised the lance we were holding and held it firmly in
front of us. Our adversary raised its own lance just like we did. Its
reptilian like face seemed to give us a mocking smile.
    "Die!" I screamed while Unit-01 roared.
    We launched ourselves toward the white EVA. It ran toward us. In
retrospect, it was very cliche. The final battle, two enemies charging
one another, intent on killing the other in one last strike.
    The two EVAs met for a split second, then stopped after a few steps.
They both stood still, no longer facing each other.
    The white EVA then fell on its side, a lance going through its chest
and exiting on its back, where its entry plug had been located.
    In Unit-01's cockpit, my hand went to my right side. My shirt was
red with blood.
    Unit-01's hand went to its side. The other EVA's lance had torn the
armor and scratched the flesh.
    We had done it. We had destroyed the EVA series. We had won.
    I coughed some blood. Now that it was over, I could feel just how
badly my chest hurt. I realized just how hard breathing had become.
    "Kaji... Rei... Misato... Asuka... guess we'll meet soon..."
    I was slipping into unconsciousness when I felt the EVA being shaken
and sharp pain in one of my shoulders. My eyes snapped opened and I
saw... something in front of me. It was a humanoid form, made of...
white light? And it was slowly growing, much taller then an EVA. At the
center of its chest I saw the all too familiar shape of an Angel's core.
    In shock, I recognized the features of that being of light. Father!
    The being raised a hand and a light beam shot from it. It struck
Unit-01 right at the center of its chest. I coughed some more blood,
before the pain finally knocked me out.

                                * * *

    I slowly awoke under a familiar ceiling. An infirmary room. I fought
a moment to keep my eyes open, but the dim light hurt my eyes and my
eyelids were very heavy. I felt numb all over, and very groggy. I was
probably under heavy medication. But I was alive. How come?
    I couldn't really ponder more on that question as sleep claimed me
once again.

                                * * *

    The next time I awoke, I felt a bit better, although, I couldn't
really feel my entire body, so I suspected I was still under sedative.
It didn't quite explain, however, a slight discomfort I felt each time I
breathed. It felt as if... something was holding my chest very tightly,
even thought I couldn't see anything of the sort. It felt constricted; I
could breathe, but not nearly as much as I used to. For a moment I
panicked, which didn't help in anyway, but eventually I calmed down as I
realized that things where not as bad as I originally assessed them. It
just required a slight extra effort on my part.
    I looked around. I was clearly in an infirmary room, I could tell
from the look, if the cardiac monitor and IV drop in my arm wasn't
indication enough, but it looked like none of the rooms I had visited in
Headquarters before. It was brighter. I gasped as I realized that
through a window, I could see the sky.
    I was definitely not in Headquarters.
    There were a good number of plants and flowers in the room which
gave it a joyous air. On a bouquet, I could read the words "Get well". I
closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It smelled nicer then the
infirmary rooms I was used to. I was still looking around when I heard
someone enter the room.
    "So, you finally woke up for good."
    I gasped, the cardiac monitor going wild for a moment.
    Misato.
    It... it had to be a dream... or maybe it was paradise. I had died
and I was in paradise.
    But if it was the case, why did she wear one of her arms in a sling?
    If this was paradise, I had a weird view of the afterlife.
    "Mi... Misato... Misato-san..."
    I could feel my eyes getting wetter by the tears.
    "Oh Shinji... It's okay... it's okay..."
    She ran to my side and leaned toward me so that she could give me a
hug without getting in the way of all the machines I was hooked up too.
    "There is no reason to cry, Shinji. It's all over now. Thanks to
you, we're alright."
    "Misato-san... I thought... I thought you had died..."
    She looked down at me. Tears were wetting her cheeks too.
    "I'm okay Shinji. I told you that gunshot wouldn't kill me."
    "I'm so glad..."
    Misato smiled.
    "Tell me... what happened, Misato-san? I remember fighting the last
EVA series. Then, there was that thing... I think it knocked me out..."
    "You were lucky it didn't kill you. The blast completely ripped off
Unit-01's chest armor."
    "What was that thing... I... I thought I saw my father..."
    "That thing was the first Angel. Adam."
    "What?!"
    "Guess it's better to show you."
    From her jacket pocket, Misato retrieved a DVD. She walked toward a
corner of the room where a television and DVD player were fixed and put
the DVD in. (3)
    "We were lucky to get those first pictures from one of the few
cameras that actually survived both the N2 blast and the JSSDF air
strike."
    On the screen, I saw my father. A group of JSSDF soldiers surprised
him and shot him on sight. I hated the man. He had been a constant
source of pain, hurting me over and over again. Yet, to see him die this
way... knowing that my last words to him were that he was a heartless
son of a bitch... it hurt. Deep down, despite everything, I had hoped
that once everything would be over, we would have a last chance. But
that chance had been denied. I surprised myself in feeling a tear making
it's way down my cheek.
    My father's body was slowly emptying itself of all it's blood when
suddenly, his head got up and his eyes opened.
    "What the hell?!" I gasped.
    "Look at his eyes," simply said Misato.
    White light. They were glowing...
    The same light kind of light the being that attacked me was
emitting.
    My father, or rather the thing, got up and walked away, its body
slowly starting to glow and grow.
    "What just happened there?" I managed to ask. The initial surprise
gone, I found it actually hard to talk.
    "From the information we gathered, your father intended to trigger
his own Third Impact. The specifics are rather complicated, but to
simplify things, to that effect, your father apparently had Adam, in
embryo form, implanted into his left hand. Apparently, when your father
got killed, Adam awoke and started to regenerate, using your father's
body."
    I nodded. I didn't really understand, but it didn't matter. Father
had died and the First Angel had grown from his body. Good enough.
    "And then it attacked me?"
    "Yes."
    "If it was really the First Angel, why are we still alive?"
    "Well, after you were knocked out, Unit-01 went berserk. But... it
wasn't as erratic as usual. It picked up one of the lance of Longinus
copies and attempted to destroy the Angel's core with it, without
success. Then, for some reason, the real lance of Longinus just...
came... and Unit-01 used it to kill the Angel. Now, I don't know if it
was because it had just awakened, or because it had lost most of its
energy when Second Impact occurred, but the explosion that followed its
destruction was nothing compared to the explosion that destroyed
Antarctica. However, it would have been powerful enough to kill us all
if Unit-01 hadn't taken most of the blast, just after it ejected your
plug."
    "Unit-01... took the blast? It ejected me?"
    Was it... Mother? Was she the one, who fought... Father?
    "How... how is Unit-01?"
    "Took heavy damage. We've managed to get it moved into cryostasis,
as for the two relatively intact Type-5 EVAs and three others that were
not too damaged, as well as a few... spare parts. I don't know, however,
if Project-E will go on. With all that happened..."
    I could only agree. EVA had hurt so much. But... Mother was still...
inside that thing.
    "I see..."
    Misato gave me a worried look.
    "Shinji... will you be alright... with all this?"
    "Why wouldn't I be?"
    "I know you hoped to... with your father..."
    "It's okay Misato... I'll be alright. It's sad, however. Father
sacrificed everything for his obsession and in the end, it destroyed
him."
    She smiled.
    "Well, I at least have some good news. Well, sorta. It depends on
the point of view."
    "Good news?"
    "I'm not the only person who lived through this hell."
    I gasped. Was... was it possible?
    "A... A... Asuka? Is Asuka alive?"
    I held my breath, awaiting the answer. Misato just nodded and
smiled.
    "She's alive... she's alive..."
    "Partly thanks to you. Throwing the remains of Unit-02 into the lake
protected her from Adam's explosion. You gave her the chance she needed.
But..."
    Her expression changed from an happy one to a worried one.
    "What? What's wrong?"
    "Well, she's been badly hurt. Those lances... you felt it yourself.
It nearly killed you, you know. If your lungs hadn't been filled with
LCL, you'd probably have died. Even now, a small part of your right lung
is only a mass of dead tissue."
    So that's why my breathing seemed odd...
    "I don't know what those things really are, but their effects are
frightening. Unit-02 was stabbed with all nine of those EVAs lances. It
took sixteen hours just to stabilize her condition. Thankfully part of
Headquarters' infirmary survived the explosion, so one of our surviving
doctors could operate on her. She's in this hospital now. I think they
are currently working on her. You two are considered like heroes by a
lot of people, so with the whole JSSDF mess, the government is using her
to try to save their face. Guess it's luck within bad luck."
    Asuka... was hurt... But she was strong... she would be okay. She
had to be.
    "She'll be okay," said Misato, as if she wanted to confirm my
beliefs.
    "I hope... but... something I don't understand... why didn't the
JSSDF kill us all?"
    "Well, while you were fighting, someone released information on
SEELE, NERV, the UN and the JSSDF all over the Internet. Images of the
JSSDF attack and your fight against the EVA series were aired on all
channels all over the world. The public was quickly outraged by the
sight of such massacre. The government quickly called off the attack.
Right now, there are a number of investigations taking place all around
the world. This thing is a total mess..."
    "I see..."
    Misato walked toward me and caressed one of my cheeks with a finger.
    "You still seem pretty worn down, Shinji. You should rest now. You
can think about all this later, with a clearer mind. I'll leave you for
now."
    "Misato-san... I'm really relieved that you're alive..."
    She smiled again, and surprised me by leaning down and kissing my
forehead. Like... a mother would to a son.
    "Sleep well, Shinji."
    She left without another word. Father was dead. But Misato and Asuka
were alive. I found myself having difficulties feeling sad. I felt a bit
guilty about it, but quickly all thought became a confused mess as I
fell asleep.

                                * * *

    Five days later, I woke up to find a girl sitting on a chair next to
me. She was reading a book. I blinked, wondering who this girl could be.
She had short jet black hair, cut straight an inch under her ears and
from what I could make, she seemed to have dark brown eyes, partly
hidden behind a pair of glasses. She wore a baggy sweatshirt and a pair
of loose jeans. She was a bit pale, but she had a beautiful face. It was
somewhat familiar, but...
    Could it be a girl from my class?
    "Excuse me... who are you? What are you doing here?"
    This surprised the girl. She had apparently been so absorbed by her
reading that she hadn't noticed that I had been looking at her for a
full minute. She looked toward me and for a few seconds, her gaze bore
into mine. It felt very familiar...
    "Shinji!!!"
    The girl's book fell on the floor, forgotten, as the girl nearly
leapt toward me. I grunted in pain as I felt the girl squeeze me in a
hug.
    "Oh! I am sorry! I had forgotten! I... I... I am sorry..."
    I watched the girl apologize... something... about her...
    "Who... who are you?"
    "Shinji... it is... me... you do not recognize me?"
    And I suddenly did. That voice. That gaze. The color wasn't the
same, but the intensity... I blinked several times. This couldn't be...
    "R... Rei? Is that... is that you?"
    The girl nodded. Tears watered her eyes.
    "But... but... you didn't remember... and your hair... your eyes..."
    I didn't understand. What was going on here?
    The girl removed her glasses and I saw her guide a finger to one of
her eyes. I gasped as she removed a contact lens and as she stared at
me, one eye red and the other dark brown.
    Rei... it was Rei! And she was alive!
    "You're... you're alive! Rei!"
    I reached out for one of her hands, and took it into mine, holding
it tight. I had to know if this was a dream or not. It wasn't.
    "What... what's going on? Why this disguise?"
    "Ayanami Rei is dead," Rei said flatly. "She died in the invasion of
NERV Headquarters." Rei then smiled. "This is Major Katsuragi's official
report."
    "I... I don't understand..."
    Rei lowered her head, as if in shame.
    "SEELE knows what I am. If Ayanami Rei is alive, they would be
tempted to use her for their own ambitions. So she died."
    I suddenly understood. If Rei was considered dead, then people
wouldn't try to harm her.
    "But what I don't understand... how... why... why do you remember me
now?"
    "It is thanks to Doctor Akagi."
    Ritsuko. She had done this. I would have to thank her.
    "I see," I said, a grin appearing on my face. "But you didn't answer
my initial question. Who are you?"
    Rei smiled in return.
    "Mizuno Rei." (4)
    "Pleased to meet you, Mizuno-san. I'm Ikari Shinji."
    "I know."
    Rei. Rei was alive. The Angels were dead and the EVAs were, for now,
no longer a threat. Finally, we could have a normal life. Things could
go back to the way they had been before the Fifteen Angel had appeared.
    No. They couldn't. It had almost destroyed us...
   'Shinji-kun, there are many ways to love. It is possible to love two
persons, in similar, yet different ways. It is right. But for you to
really be happy, you must find the love that you held the dearest, that
will make you feel complete. Do not hesitate.'
    Kaoru had been right. It was time to choose.

                                * * *

    412. I stared a long time at this number. My hand reached for the
doorknob. It was slightly shaking. Nearly one month had passed since I
had learned that Rei was back to her old self. One month and yet I
hadn't managed to prepare myself to do this. I was pathetic.
    I did have the excuse that I had been somewhat busy. The first week
after Rei's visit had been rather calm, as the doctors had decided to
keep me for one more week, to make sure that none of my injuries,
especially the one to my lungs, would not get worse. I doubted it would,
that was not how the power of the Lance of Longinus seemed to work, but
I didn't really complain. Some peace and quiet was rather welcome, even
if it was boring at times. Quickly, I got used to my new breathing
capacities and I used the time I had to visit Touji's sister, Suzuhara
Mari, who happened to be in the same hospital I was. I had been
surprised to see that the little girl was actually able to make a few
steps now. The first time I had seen her, she been almost covered in
bandages. Now... it was only a matter of time before she would walk
normally again. I cried in relief at that sight, guilt that I had always
refused to let go finally being taken away. Puzzled, the little girl
just hugged me.
    I tried to visit Asuka, but it hadn't been possible, due to her
condition.
    I did, however, receive some visit myself, as Touji, accompanied by
Hikari and Kensuke, as well as Rei, in company of Hotaru, came a few
times.
    Then, things became a bit hectic. The day after I've been released,
I've been asked to take part in an inquiry lead by the UN, with the
purpose of understanding the events that occurred that day of June 11th.
Since I had played a major role in stopping the attack lead by SEELE, I
was asked many questions. It lasted more then a week and once it was
over, Misato and I attended an official NERV press release, where we
explained the events that had occurred to the general public, who had
watched on TV the entire event and wanted to know what exactly had
happened. I apparently became quickly a popular figure; after all I had
basically saved the world, at least that's what people thought, and I
spent the following days travelling around the world with Misato to
appear on TV shows and give interviews. Those had been very exhausting
days. I was glad to be back in Tokyo-2 now.
    Now I could finally do something I should have done a long time ago.
    "Time to get this over with."
    I opened the door and entered Asuka's hospital room.
    Like the room I had woken in after the battle at NERV, this was a
rather pleasant room. The walls were of a light shade of blue, which was
better then a bare white. The shades were fully opened, letting the
morning light poor freely into the room. I walked toward a desk, removed
withered roses from a vase and replaced them with a fresh dozen of red
roses. Then I went to the side of the bed and sat on a chair, as I had
done many times before.
    Asuka was lying still on the bed. She was very pale and had lost a
lot more weight in the last few weeks. Doctors were amazed that she
actually managed to live through all the numerous operations she had
undergone. Even now as I looked at her, her left eye and right arm were
in bandages, after some American specialist had tried a new experimental
neural regenerative treatment on her. The man had high hopes for her
arm, but not for her eye. The damage to her optical nerve and to her
retina had been too extensive. She would never see from that eye ever
again. That is, if she would open her eyes at all.
    It was almost ironic. The assault against NERV had pulled her out of
a catatonic sleep only to throw her into a coma at the end.
    The doctors had lost hope for her to wake up long ago. Still, they
had operated on her, repaired or replaced damaged organs one after
another. It seemed like a waste, but it was good propaganda. This girl
was, after all, a hero to the world. She might have been proud of
herself, had she been awake.
    Delicately, I took her bandaged hand into mine.
    "Asuka... I've got something to tell you."
    I looked at the girl. I had wished she had been awake for me to tell
her this, but I could no longer delay my decision.
    "I'm sorry Asuka. I should have done this a long time ago. But I was
afraid. With Rei and you... I no longer felt alone. I thought that if I
made a choice, I would lose one of you. I didn't want to lose either of
you. So I made you wait. I was so selfish..."
    I took a moment to gather my thoughts. Somehow, the words I had
thought of before coming here were slipping my mind.
    "At one time, I thought that everything would be simple. Rei didn't
remember me, so I didn't have to make a choice. It was unfair, but it
was so simple... But... she remembers me now. She's back to her old
self. I won't make the same mistake this time. I won't wait for one of
you to leave me. I... I had a lot of time to think. About a choice..."
    God, this was difficult.
    "Asuka... when I'm with Rei... I feel... how could I say it... safe.
I feel good. Comfortable. There's nothing for me to do. I know that
she's the kind of girl... who'll love me no matter what. She'll never do
anything to hurt me. She'll never scold me or tease me. She'll do
everything I'll ask of her with a smile... Asuka... I... I..."
    I took a pause. Come on, Shinji, say it!
    "I... I don't want a comfortable life! I don't want someone who'll
make me the only goal of her existence. I'd only be hiding from reality
again. And it wouldn't be fair to Rei. Asuka... what I'm trying to
say... I want you Asuka."
    Somehow, I had hoped that saying those words would steer some
reaction from her. But it didn't. Still, I had to go on.
    "I think it's something I knew all along, but never tried to see it.
But when I saw you in that infirmary bed at NERV... when I saw those
white EVAs eating the remains of your Unit-02... when I thought you had
died... it hurt more then losing Rei had. When I slept in Kaoru's arms
that night, before I killed her, I thought of you. When I made love to
you, I felt something... a moment where I felt that there was my place,
in your arms. I won't lie. I love Rei. She means a lot to me. But...
it's not quite the same. I guess she's a bit like... a mother. No...
maybe a sister. Or maybe even more. I'm not quite sure. But what I
know... as much as I love Rei... I love you more. I love you, Sohryu
Asuka Langley."
    I got up, and briefly kissed her lips. Then, I pulled a small velvet
box from one of my pockets. I opened it to retrieve an engagement ring,
a perfect copy of the ring I had bought weeks ago, on impulse, while
shopping with the girls. The original ring had been destroyed in the
Geofront N2 bombing. Slowly, I slid the ring on Asuka's left hand.
    "Unless you wake up now to say 'no', you'll be my fiancee from now
on..."
    The girl didn't react. While part of me had feared her suddenly
waking up and rejecting me, I felt very disappointed in her not reacting
at all. Maybe the doctors were right...
    But I wouldn't give up.
    "I'll wait for you, Asuka. Even if it means waiting all my life..."


---


Author's notes:

(1) This quote is taken (although, slightly modified, based on the
French translation) from the second Evangelion manga. In that story,
Misato played a greater role in Shinji's decision to stay in Tokyo-3
instead of leaving to go back to his old life. I found it more
appropriate.

(2) In a lot of fictions, a synch ratio over 100% was considered as a
superior ratio, making Unit-01 stronger, etc. Absorption by Unit-01 was
presumed to happen only when it reached 400%. Personally, I don't think
it works that way. If one looks at episode 19, the process happened very
quickly. Unit-01 restarted and Shinji had reached 400% in a matter of
seconds. He was gone. His synch ratio did not slowly progress to reach
400%. Actually, I believe that 400% may not be an accurate number, but
rather a speculation made by MAGI following Shinji's absorption,
something that was most likely outside set parameters. Taking all this
into account, I would considers 99,9999999% to be an extremely high
synch rate, almost on the edge of absorption of the pilot by EVA.

(3) I realize that in the future, they'll likely have more advanced
technology then DVD technology, but I didn't feel like making something
up...

(4) A translation of Mizuno could be "of water", which seems to fit Rei.
It was inspired by Mizuno Ami, from Sailormoon, who also happens to be a
cute short blue haired girl ^_^

Some people mentioned to me that this chapter seemed rushed. It was
intentionally written this way. With the exception of the beginning and
end, Shinji is either running for his life and against the clock. Such
moments are not the best for introspection, they are for action. As for
Shinji's choice, it was also on purpose that I didn't show the
introspective process that lead to it (beside, I think that the
explanations he gives are quite clear enough). That way, I could delay
him voicing his choice as close to the end as I could.

There are of course a number of unresolved questions here. Some of them
are answered in a side story written by Darren Demaine: "Let the World
Burn / One Dream at a Time". Others will be answered in the epilogue.


---


Translation notes:

Scheisse (or Scheiß) : Shit



Alain Gravel
rakna@globetrotter.qc.ca
January 18th 2000

Started on September 2nd 1999
First pre-reader draft finished on January 18th 2000
Second pre-reader draft finished on February 8th 2000
Final draft finished on February 24th 2000
Final revision on March 21th 2000