From: "Rakna" Let the World Burn / One Dream at a Time Produced by: Horde O' Hentai Productions, Literature Division Darren Demaine: Chairman of the Horde Lee (Greywolf): Guy We Rub For Luck Rob (Barbarian): Breath Weapon Specialist Craig: Our Man In Japan Written by: Darren Demaine A side story for: "The One I Love Is" Evangelion fan-fiction series created by: Alain Gravel Based on 'Neon Genesis Evangelion,' created and owned by Gainax. His footsteps echoing around him, Ikari Gendo moved through the lowest level of Terminal Dogma. At times, the soft noise of his footfalls were drown out by loud roars as something exploded unseen in the darkness behind him. The JSSDF troops had penetrated down to Terminal Dogma he surmised. It was unlikely they had managed to pacify all of Headquarters, but sending advance parties to secure key areas was something that was to be expected. Not too surprising as there were only three targets in NERV that would interest the old men. Magi. With its data from which all the scenarios had been devised. Control of it would allow them to grasp the final lock to Instrumentality. Terminal Dogma. The key to open to portal. Opening that door would be the last act of humanity; and the end of all things. EVA. It would be the beginning of something new. The explosions behind him became louder, but Gendo did not noticeably increase his pace. There was not much time left to implement his plan, but there would be enough. Reaching the final door marked "LCL PRODUCTION PLANT 3," he slid his card through the reader and punched an access code. With the soft thump of machinery, Heaven's Door slowly retracted away, giving access. Punching another code, he ordered the doors shut and locked behind him, and entered the chamber as the portal lunched for a moment, then started to close. It was only then that he allowed his gaze to inspect the cavern. All was as it should have been. Dominating the cavernous chamber, an enormous cross of red thrust up from a lake of LCL. Pinned by bolts of iron to the cross hung a white giant, humanoid and vaguely feminine. Crucified to hold its power in check, its head rolled loosely to one side, the seven unblinking eyes there stared at nothing as it had for the past uncountable years. Its legs, newly regenerated from the once shattered torso, reached down to disappear into the lake of its own blood. Rising from the vast discoloured sea was a soft scent. Not the salty brine of an ocean, but the faint coppery fragrance of blood. Floating on that pool like the giant's discarded bath toy was a NERV gunboat, the crew having long since been ordered up to help hold the line. Still, he was not alone with this tribute to man's arrogance. Standing silently before the lake was a small figure, made even smaller by the seeming vulnerability of her nakedness. Silently she stared up at the colossal prisoner held in bondage before her. She made no move when the doors to the chamber had opened, nor did she do anything as the man behind her closed the distance between them. With eyes the colour of the cross, she stared at the thing that had brought her here. Gendo stopped less than a metre behind the girl. Right hand holding his gun loosely, his left hand rested in his jacket pocket. Neither spoke to each other, the girl watching the giant, the man staring at the girl. A loud detonation from beyond the doors was the first to break the silence. "Rei. It's time." The words, Rei thought. The words she had always longed to hear. Words that both gave her purpose and frightened her beyond any child's blackest fear of the darkness inside their closet. At one time those words would have given her that long sought after feeling, they would have filled the terror in her heart with the soft promise of completion she so desperately needed. That joyously horrible release from the agony that was her existence. She shouldn't exist. She was too scared to continue her life. Too live on without purpose. To have been made for something, she could feel the pull down to the depths of her very being. It was her reason to be. To resist was... unthinkable. She shouldn't exist. Yet she did. She was too scared to give up her life. To no longer exist as herself. To no longer feel the warmth of blood flowing through her veins. No longer see the sunlight strike the petals of a flower, or feel the wind blow through her hair. No longer to breath, think, or... dream. Slowly, she turned around to face the man who had three times given her life. Invisible bands of compulsion wrapped themselves around her will with the strength no addict could possibly have understood. Staring into the first eyes she had ever seen, Ayanami Rei replied with the power of a shout that only barely allowed breath to leave her lips. "I am not your doll." Wordlessly, the target of her resolution stood there. He made no sign he had even heard. Rei too stood motionless, even as she mentally reeled from the act of rebelling against her very nature. A kind of soul tearing agony raced through her mind and thoughts, punishing her for this disobedience against all that she was. Burning letters seared her mind, clawing the word 'OBEY' on her psyche as she struggled against her herself. None of this showed on her face however as she returned even gaze for even gaze. she realized through the torment, That thought gave her an understanding of where she had acquired the strength to resist with. Facing her internal agony, Rei had no idea how much time had past between her announcement and Gendo's quiet rebuttal. His words however slammed into her, bringing her back to the present. "You are here. You can not resist the call." For the first time, Rei showed some visible emotion as she took a deep breath. Gathering her strength, she spoke words she realized were coming from as deep within herself as the desire to compete her task. "I could not resist the call. I am here." Her eyes narrowed a bit. "But I am not a doll. I now choose to leave." Behind him, Heaven's Door buckled and exploded inwards. A cloud of flame and smoke shrouded the entry for a moment, then was swallowed up by more black smoke. Figures dressed in dark combat suits rushed in through the billowing clouds, searching for targets. Seeing a man and a naked girl standing there, several raised rifles and fired long bursts at them. A twist in the air, like a rising heat wave, appeared in the space between the bullets and their target. The ricochet of the rounds gave shape to an orange octagonal field that occupied a location where nothing had been a second before. Soldiers shouted in surprise as their rounds failed to have any affect, and fired again. Beyond the shield of the mind, neither person had moved. Ignoring the futile actions from the others present, Gendo stared hard at this last impediment to his plans. "You did not let them shoot me. Now, take me to Yui." "... I still owed you life. You tried to take Shinji away from me, for that I can never forgive you. But you gave me the opportunity to be with him. Twice. For that I had to repay you. But I will not obey you. I will not hurt him." "Instrumentality is the only way to prevent him from becoming a sacrifice to Seele's Red Earth ceremony," Gendo told her. "They will not succeed," Rei returned. "I have... faith.... and I will not cooperate. It is over." Behind the AT field, a soldier raised a rocket launcher and pointed it at the silly glass wall that was preventing them from completing their mission. Well, he'd never met a problem yet that enough high explosives couldn't handle. He grinned mirthlessly as the fools behind it didn't make any move to protect themselves. With a cry of "fire in the hole!" he squeezed the trigger. The funneled back blast from the explosion killed him and most of his companions. On the other side of the wall of the mind, Gendo closed his eyes. Tired, he was so tired. To have come this far to finally be defeated here... he should have been angry, he should have been enraged. Years of work to reach this point, ten years of hiding from himself and others had been just rendered moot. Success was so close he could taste it, touch it with his fingertips... but he couldn't grasp it, hold on to it, never to release it again. Instead, all he wanted was to close his eyes and rest for a while. Rei was not correct however: it was not over. There was still a way. But this final method... there were no guarantees. With Rei's help he could have controlled the Third Impact, brought about what he had worked so hard for. But without her... Was it really worth it? "A man lives by forgetting the past," he'd told his son. "But there are some things that you must never forget." Was this one of them, or had he just been deluding himself? Had the time come to move on, and let the past finally be laid to rest? He opened his eyes and looked down at the young girl before him. A girl who, every time he saw her, reminded him why he was doing this. It was there in her, he had chosen it to be like this to always be in front of him, to never let him forget. It was there in her face, in the shape of her eyes, in her rare smiles. The reason why he just couldn't let go. Dropping his gun on the floor, Gendo removed his left hand from his pocket. Held there in a small clear case was an embryonic creature. Curled up in a fetal position, the living thing seemed to be at peace with the world and itself. Gendo looked down at the thing and flicked his thumb to remove the security latch that kept it shut. Using his teeth he pulled off his right glove, and swung Adam's case open. He turned his gaze to the naked girl once again, and she saw the finality in his eyes. With a brief flicker, the AT field behind them dissolved and Rei turned away from him. "Sayonara," she said softly. Then she walked away into the embracing darkness around them. Gendo stared after her for a moment, then turned to face the dark clouds of smoke that covered the entry to Heaven's Door. A few coughs could be heard coming from the cloud, then two dirty soldiers staggered through the smoke. Seeing their target and no sign of the strange orange wall, they raised their guns once again. With a sharp breath, Gendo slammed his bare right hand down onto Adam. White torture raced up his arm, a pain like he had never felt before. It made the softer, warm agony from the rounds tearing his chest apart quite welcome by comparison. Sleep... Sleep... Awake! Awake! Time... pasted! Years... held prisoner! Must complete... must join with Lilith! Lilith... near! Very near! Must get to her! How? How?! Wait... vessel... an empty vessel! Attached to me... Fill it! Fill vessel with myself! Power! Live... I live again! Warm vessel with my power. Power... power to carry me to Lilith! Joy! To live again! So long... so long aware... yet not conscious... Wait! Vessel... vessel not empty! There! Weak... but growing... growing... feeding off my power... feeding off my warmth... A light of the mind! A Lilium! Lilium held me prisoner! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Vessel is mine! Unseen by mortal eyes, the Angel that had laid waste to half of humanity prepared to complete its mission. A mission that would forever erase from living memory the horrors of the Second Impact... because the Third Impact would be that much worse. But the Angel was not unimpeded to its goal, for standing in its way was a man. A mere spawn of Lilith. The battle should have been quick as the emotion of terror, and as decisive as the wrath of a god. No mere Lilium could hold out against the First. But this was no mere Lilium that stood before Adam. This was the father of a Lilium who had found enough in himself to cast down seven messangers that had already attempted the same goal. It was a glorious battle. "This is Romeo 6 to control. Repeat, this is Romeo 6 to control. Bellerophon has been eliminated. We are in control of 'White.' In pursuit of First. Over." The soldier looked up from his radio rig as his partner jogged back into sight from the dark periphery of the room. The new arrival shook his head causing the radio operator made a dark face. "Control, we have lost contact with First. Awaiting orders." There was a pause as the person on the other end of the line said something. "Confirmed," the operator continued. "Bellerophon is dead." Another pause. "Geez, Colonel! I got his body right in front of me! What do you want me to do, fax it to you?!" The operator listened some more to his head-set, while rolling his eyes to his companion who also shook his head at the stupidity of senior officers. "Confirmed. Hold 'White' until relieved. Shoot First on sight. Acknowledged. Romeo 6 out." "Man, what is it with these freaks," the new arrival asked as his partner folded the radio rig away. "What sort of weirdo has a giant white... *thing*... nailed to a cross in their basement?" As he spoke, he glanced up at the colossal thing that started back at them. It hadn't moved at all, but his face still twisted into a grimace. "Who knows? Maybe it's a blow-up doll for those giant robot things. This whole damn mission has been a mess from the get go. What happened to the girl?" "Lost her. Damn place, if I didn't know better I'd think the walls here swallowed her whole." Looking down at the body that was slowly draining of its blood, he let a leer settle on his features. "So the big, bad commander of NERV turns out to be a horny bastard with a thing for naked teenaged girls. Still, you'd think an invasion is slightly more important than groping some underage ass." "Priorities, man. It's all about priorities." Radio put away, the soldier stretched tired muscles and settled down to wait for their relief. "I mean, look at it this way: this NERV C.O. here was suppose to be a real clever fellow-" "Not clever enough if you ask me," his partner interrupted. "That may be, but if your base was being overrun by the elite force of the best ass-kickers in the whole world, and you know you can't win, what are you going to do with your final minutes?" His partner looked thoughtful for a moment, then slowly grinned. "You mean, if you're going to die anyway, why not get geeked with a grin on your face and a girl not yet legal on your arm?" "Like I said, the man had priorities." Flicking a finger towards the corpse, the radio man gestured. "Check to see if he has any smokes." Shouldering his rifle, the other went over to the dead figure and began rummaging through pockets. "A spare clip for a gun... an ID card... no watch... two pens... his wallet... Cheap bastard! He's only carrying 2000 yen! Why I ought a-" Gendo's eyes snapped open. The soldier let loose an involuntary screech that might have been expected had his family jewels and a ball peen hammer suddenly become better acquainted. Fortunately for the soldier in question, this was not the case and he was able to stagger back away from this unusual occurrence. However, if polled, the rest of humanity would probably have preferred the hammer situation. An unnatural orange light spilt from the open eyes of the corpse. Slowly, without any support whatsoever, the body rose from the floor without bending at either waist or knees. Coming completely vertical, the figure dressed in the uniform of NERV's supreme commander elevated its unnatural eyes to stare at the white monster locked in imprisonment before it. The two soldiers who witnessed this were well trained, and both possessed years of experience with the special forces. Dead bodies, as a rule, did not get up, nor did they have glowing orange eyes. Therefore, by their logic, this thing was not yet dead. The glowing eyed thing was being very inconsiderate by not being dead, as most people got the hint with the first few rounds that entered their bodies. Shame on it. Still, a couple of dozen more metal jacketed explanations should convince the thing of the validity of the soldiers' argument. However, their arguments failed to make their point when the rounds rippled off another orange octagonal field created out of pure will. Without turning from the white colossus, the figure exerted a miniscule portion of its thoughts and the AT field accelerated away, reaching supersonic speeds by the time the field had traversed the width of a human hair. That which had been Ikari Gendo did not notice the sound of something soggy propelled to the far walls of the chamber. Its eyes were only on the goal that had been denied to it for an unbearable amount of time. Without any visible motion, the body rose from the ground and floated up towards the seven eyes that silently stared back. "Now," the figure said in a voice that was not what it should have been. "Take me to Yui." Kaji couldn't help but grin as Unit-01 destroyed the last few mass produced EVA's still active. "Damn it," he said with something that almost sounded like paternal pride. "I knew Shinji-kun had it in him." The final EVA-05 dying in the best samurai drama fashion, Unit-01 stood triumphant, lord of the wrecked Geo Front. It was picture perfect, the very image of a hard fought victory. Pleased with the small role he had played, Kaji turned to the cameraman. "Make sure you get a good shot of this." "You got it," the cameraman said, with his eye still glued to the viewer. Kaji turned away and gazed at what remained of the lake. They had won, but at what a cost. If only Unit-02 could be in that picture as well... preferably clocking Unit-01 across the head or something. He didn't hold out much hope that Asuka had survived, but he wasn't giving up on her either. Pulling out his cell phone, Kaji punched the code for NERV's recovery team priority channel. It took a while, but he finally convinced the guy on the end to send a recovery and medical team to the lake. Having done all he could, Kaji took one final look at Unit-01 before he had to fade into the shadows once again. There were still things to accomplish before everything was put in its proper place, and he couldn't show his face back here just yet. Seele may have been exposed, but someone (who was intelligent, charming, and of course, modest), had to make sure they didn't sneak away. Someone had to poke into dark corners to make sure Seele members weren't hiding there, and he'd always enjoyed sticking his nose in places it wasn't suppose to go. Maybe that was one reason why Katsuragi found him so irresistible. Although, it probably was putting certain things other than his nose in places that caught her- "Holy crap! It's a giant naked white guy!" "Actually, I think he's Japanese rather than Caucasian-" "That's not what I'm talking about!" Kaji spun around, looking over the heads of his arguing team members. Jaw going slack, Kaji stared up... and up... at the sight of a bone white Ikari Gendo which rose silently through the ground of the Geo Front. Perfect in its mockery of the human form, the giant possessed every element of Gendo's body. Standing taller than an EVA, the white creature's only flaws were a single red orb imbedded in the centre of its chest. That, and its eyes glowed an unnatural, and some would say unholy, orange colour. Growing until the white hair brushed the roof the open Geo Front, the white mockery stood there, silently. That burning slowly gaze swept over the blasted Geo Front, searching. "Whoa," the cameraman said in awe, zooming out to get it all in. "Full frontal nudity. That's gonna tick off the American censors." For the first time in a long while, Kaji was speechless. That top secret grainy footage he'd acquired of the Second Impact... it hadn't been Gendo that had destroyed Antarctica, but Kaji harboured no illusions that this thing couldn't do the same.... or worse. Standing tall, the colossal Gendo's gaze turned to the purple EVA- 01. Facing the smaller battle machine, Gendo raised his hand, palm open. A flash of light blinded many there, and a beam shot out to slam into the mecha. The impact of the blast rocked the Geo Front and vicious winds ripped through the air. A massive explosion tore chest armour off Unit- 01, and threw the purple machine to the ground where it left a huge divot in the earth. The spear it had been carrying flew from its hand and crushed a company of JSSDF regulars. Blinking through his tears, Kaji struggled to see what was going on. On the ground before him he could make out the blasted remains of Unit-01 lying there silently, the chest armour shattered. Still struggling to see, Kaji cried out in pain as he was again momentarily blinded from another blast from the monstrous Gendo. Slamming into the downed machine, this blast vapourized the ground underneath the mecha, dropping it into a smoking crater. Unit-01's shattered chest armour was blasted free from the machine's frame, leaving a dull red orb there, visible for all to see. Eire in its silence, the white colossus seemed to observe its handy work. Still silent, Gendo slowly stepped towards the prone battle machine, its hands reaching out to grasp it. "Just curious," asked the cameraman, still filming. "Are we going to regret this?" Kaji was still blinking away tears. "Probably. Still, if the Third Impact is about to happen, at least I'm close enough to go find my watermelons." The cameraman went pale. "The Third Impact?" "Yeah." "Crap," muttered one of the others. "Had I known that, I'd have maxed out my credit cards for the month." With no warning, Unit-01's eyes suddenly turned a bright white and the prone machine let out a roar that shook the earth. Pulling itself to its feet, Unit-01 twisted out from the probing fingers of the giant Gendo. With a loud growl, the machine bounded away from the creature and landed near the remains of Unit-07. Grabbing the discarded spear from the white devil, Unit-01 hefted the weapon and screamed. Leaning back and raising the spear, Unit-01 then hurtled it forward with enough power to bury the weapon into the soil of Mars. The spear shot forward and struck the orb in the centre of Gendo's chest. With a crack that was heard as far away as Kobe, the spear shattered upon impact. Hunched over, Unit-01 glared up at the white creature before it. >From deep within the machine the sounds of breathing, more like a snarl than anything else, echoed across the shattered Geo Front. The giant Gendo returned the gaze, calm and unconcerned. Neither moved for long moments, two titans awaiting the next move. Suddenly Unit-01 threw its head back and yowled. The noise roared across the earth, and echoed all throughout the open pit of NERV. Men covered their ears as the sound threatened to tear mind from body. Kaji grimaced as he stood there, hands over his ears. Something caught his eye from above, and he turned up to see a new star appear in the sky. A star during daylight. With a blur, a huge object shot in from that light and slammed to a halt a few metres above the floor of the Geo Front. The true Longnius Lance. What blood in Kaji's body that hadn't already frozen now turned to ice. Adam, Lilith, the true Lance, and EVA.... all the needed pieces were finally together. But not in any way that could be used to bring about anything. The pieces were not going to fit the puzzle unless someone used a very large hammer on them. A mistake here and the results would be the end of everything. The Third Impact would happen if they were lucky... The arrival of the weapon broke the moment of stillness between the two combatant. Still as silent as the end of the world, the giant Gendo suddenly surged forward. Arms outstretched, the mockery of human form reached to embrace the purple machine. With another roar Unit-01 hunched over again, seeming to strain against itself. For a moment, the skin of Unit-01 bubbled and bulged grotesquely. The remaining armour on the machine buckled, then exploded from its frame as the mecha blew away the binders which contained its power. Energy flowing unchecked through its body, EVA grabbed the dull red lance and whipped the twin bladed weapon around. In a two-handed grip, Unit-01 held the lance above its head and screamed once again. Stepping forward, it moved past the arms that were reaching for it and raced in. With an explosion loud enough to shatter metal, Unit-01's wings of energy burst from its back, and the machine flew up from the bottom of the pit. Screaming and teeth bared, Test Type Evangelion Unit-01 flew to Gendo's chest level as the giant reached to grasp it. For a moment, time seemed to slow to nothing as Unit-01 hung there, arms holding the Lance above itself and body arched backwards. All around the machine the white colossus seemed to fall inward, crouching around to enfold the battle machine into itself. The moment lasted beyond imagination, until with a slight crack a diminutive white cylinder rode a column of flame out the back of Unit-01. That small attempt at freedom allowed time to flow again, and with a cry that could never be forgotten by those present, Unit-01 rammed the Longinus Lance into Adam's red orb with all its might. There was no light in this place. No sounds either. No wind, no air. No particles, no waves. If pressed to describe this place, the human mind would have said it was black. Unending black that stretched beyond the realm of thought and imagination. Not that this place was truly black; far from it. It exploded with colours, vivid and rich. Vibrant hues made up the very stuff of this place's existence, the fabric of its creation. Still, a person would have described it as black. It was simply a place that was far and away from the keen of mortal minds. But there was a kind of life here. Standing a room's length apart, two figures were the only things that the human mind could have grasped upon seeing this place, aside from the blackness. Neither of the two figures were very spectacular, but by this place's very nature they stood out like rare jewels amongst perfect sand. One was a man, tall and straight, his clothes dark gray and his shirt red. His face was closed and set, either holding something inside or desperate to keep it away. A short beard traced the outline of his jaw, strengthening hard lines. Upon his face sat a pair of worn glasses, the lenses a weird orange. Even more strange when you consider that there was no light from which the colour orange could be generated from. Standing a distance away from him in this place with no distances was a younger woman. Her clothes were casual and simple, showing a relaxed demeanor. Over such simple fabric, a white lab coat shone like a gentle night light near a child's open closet. Soft brown hair framed a face, tender and open. Although she did not smile, neither did she seem marred by anger. For a time these two figures looked at each other. Time being a difficult concept here, because they had neither arrived, nor would they leave. Then, now, and soon pilled up on top of one another, without ever really coming in contact. Something would eventually happen, but only because it had already happened. Both were awaiting its first occurrence. To pass the... time... both looked at the other... and went through the motions of breathing. Not that they had to, there being no air in this place. But it was something that felt natural to them, and so they did it. They simply would have felt incomplete without it. Their hearts beat for the same reason. A moment after they arrived here, and after they had each done nothing but stare at each other for millions of breaths, the man finally started to speak. She beat him to it. "The beard looks good on you." That simple comment from her threatened to destroy whatever control the man had built up over a life of suffering, but he refused to let go just yet. Ikari Gendo had waited his whole life for this moment. He had destroyed time, opportunities, and lives for this very second. He would not waste this along with everything else. "I missed you," he finally said. Incalculable suffering inflicted to countless people measured in three simple words. It was all he had. "I know. A little too much perhaps." "I don't have anything to offer anyone. I can't imagine why someone could love me." Yui gave him a wiry grin. "And yet you think I do?" "You are the only one who ever showed it." "That's not true." For a long, long time, Gendo merely stared at the woman before him. He waited for her to say what had to be said, but she would not let him off the hook that easily. Neither spoke for a long portion of eternity, then finally Gendo whispered, "Shinji." "Yes... your son." "........I never noticed." "Yes you did." "........yes I did," he guiltily agreed. "But I couldn't understand it. What did I do to deserve it?" "You are his father. You don't have to deserve it, you just have to be there for him." Gendo's eyes slid shut painfully. "I failed." "And when you were there," Yui argued, "you interfered." "....if all I did was hurt him, it was better that I wasn't there." "Shinji didn't think so. Or at least up till a certain point." "I couldn't risk losing Rei. Too much was at stake." "Such as your son's heart? Or your daughter's?" His eyes snapped open. "Daughter?" he asked, surprised. Yui shrugged slightly. "Born in part from my body, raised in your care. Our daughter." Gendo looked thoughtful as he considered this new information... no, not new information... but a new way of looking at what he thought he already knew. "She was-" "A human being." "...needed." "Why?" Yui asked, truly curious for the answer. For another long time, Gendo did not reply. "Because... I had to free you." Yui's eyebrows rose at the comment, and she cocked her head at him. "It... it was my fault Unit-01 trapped you." "Naoko set it in motion." There was just a hint of anger in her voice. Gendo shook his head. "I should have known. Once you were trapped, I had to set you free." Hands resting casually in her lab coat's pockets, Yui watched him closely. "And you thought the Third Impact would free me. That doesn't explain why you had to devastate your son's life. Seele would have given you the Impact." "I couldn't let the old men control it. I had to make sure everything happened correctly." "Why?" "If it failed...." he swallowed softly. "Then we could never be together." "Because I would never be free of Unit-01?" Slowly, Gendo shook his head. "Because... because without Instrumentality... we could never be together." Yui watched her husband carefully. "You truly think that?" "I have too much blood on my hands for it to be otherwise." "And yet," came a voice from behind Gendo, "in your attempt you only made the blood worse." Yui looked at her husband, seeming to ignore the smiling gray-haired girl who stood a metre or so behind his shoulder. "It was necessary," he replied, not gazing at the girl in the simple sun-dress who stood behind his wife's shoulder. Yui closed her eyes and sighed softly, tiredly. Kaoru smiled from her place at the woman's side. "The Lilium heart can achieve much if given the chance," the Kaoru at Gendo's shoulder said. "You never gave your son that opportunity." "He... frightened me." "He frightened you, so you closed yourself off from him, from the world," the Kaoru at his shoulder said with her smile. "That cost you your last link with that which you wanted. In the end, you ran from that which could give you what you desired." ".....yes. I suppose that's true." "You could only find yourself in the evaluation of one other. You turned away from others who would also give you what you sought." Kaoru kept her smile in place. For another stretch of time no one spoke, the couple staring at each other. Finally, Gendo gave voice to the words that left him hollow. "I failed. You are still a prisoner of Unit-01, and Instrumentality will not occur." He gazed at his wife, seeking to lock the image of her into his heart, draw her features on what remained of his soul. "I... just wanted to see you again." "You think this is it?" Yui asked, her eyes twinkling with humour. For the first time in a long, long time, Gendo blinked in surprise. "Frankly husband of mine, if you offered me the chance right now, I wouldn't have anything to do with you. You've done things that I can never forget. And you're right, I am trapped in EVA. "EVA can live for five billon years. Even if the Earth, the Sun, and the Moon all cease to be, EVA will continue since it is given strength by the human heart. But... even if EVA continues, the human heart also holds compassion. Because of that, I will be free." A small, wiry grin appeared on her face. "And I'd say about five billion years just might be about enough time for me to forgive you." Gendo was silent as he considered his wife's words. Slowly, his shoulders fell. "Instrumentality has failed. We can never be together." "You were willing to destroy the world to see me free. While I can't exactly support your actions, I'd be lying if I said that sort of thing didn't impress a girl." Behind her, Kaoru shook her head in amazement and kept on smiling. "Well," Yui continued, "I'm not willing to go quite that far, but I promise you this, Ikari Gendo: as you tired to set me free, one day, I will free you." Without words Gendo stared at his wife, taking in all that she had said. Her gaze was calm and her face relaxed, yet there was something to her eyes. Something that pledged she would move Heaven, Earth, and all points south to fulfill her words. "It won't happen quickly," Yui continued. "And I won't promise that I'll welcome you back when I'm finished. But in the end-" "I hope it takes five billion years," Gendo said quietly. She gazed at him squarely. "You think I'll have forgiven you by then?" "It's all I have." Yui stared at him for a long, long time. Then, slowly, a warm smile softened the gaze. "Make it ten and I just might convince your son to forgive you as well." For the first time since he arrived at this place, Gendo turned his gaze from his wife to stare off into what was not really darkness. "Shinji... I'm sorry." The Kaoru at his shoulder smiled. "You've taken your first step. Many more await you, and in your weakness you will fall." "But I will not stay down," Gendo replied. "You better not," Yui stated. "Farewell, Gendo." "Farewell... Yui." Unseen by his eyes, Kaoru and Yui left this place, this realm of unseen colours. Just before they stepped beyond, he strained with all his being to hear Yui's voice just one last time... "You know, what you're planning is going to cause a lot of trouble. Can you imagine how many we'd have to set free just because someone was willing to raise a stink? This is really going to screw up the whole works." "Let it." For a moment, Gendo stood still, treasuring this last voice. Then he opened his eyes to the unseen majesty around him. Without fanfare, he began walking. In a blinding sphere of white light, Adam, Lilith, and Lance were converted from reality to energy. Energy enough to wipe clean the face of the Earth. Energy enough to create a god. At the centre of this conversion, Unit-01 struggled to hold itself together. Taking the power given to it, Unit-01 grasped the bounds of possibility and forced into existence the anti-AT field that had been the goal of the Red Earth ceremony. Powerful enough to shatter the individual AT fields of an entire world, this anti-field drew everything around into itself. Without the power of nine EVAs to mold it outwards, the anti-AT field welcomed instead the energies liberated from Adam. A humungous cross-flare trumpeted the event. Those who saw it turned away from the pure light, tears streaming painfully from their eyes. It was never easy to watch a dream die. [fin] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Alain Gravel's 'The One I Love Is' was such a great fic that I was glad to be a pre-reader for it. I especially enjoyed his balanced portrayal of characters. We never really saw that much of Gendo, and what we did see was from his son's perspective. Still, even though Shinji hated his father after a point (chapter 5), Alain never made Gendo the villain of the series. It was always about Shinji facing himself. Gendo has always been a bastard, but a bastard worthy of closer inspection. It's not just that he's a rotten father, but he has reasons for being the way he is. As he mentioned in 'End of Evangelion' he was actually concerned about Shinji, it was just that he was never sure how to deal with Shinji's love. He was just as scared of letting people in as his son was. Shinji perhaps scared him more than anyone else, so he fled from him as much as possible. Yui seemed to have been the only person who could get inside his armour and bring something out of him. When he lost her, he lost everything. One reason why Gendo might have been willing to do all that he did was for one simple fact: he loved Yui. A bit too much perhaps. It's hard to say what Gendo was originally planning on when he hooked up with Seele and all the rest. However, it should be noted that after Yui disappeared, he told Futsuyski that, "Today I'm starting a new project." (NGE: episode 21 according to my subtitled copy.) It may be that when Yui was gone, he wanted to bring out Instrumentality on his terms, so he could be with her again. I've used Gendo's overwhelming love of Yui to be the thing that drove him on his quest. Much like Alain's reasons for Shinji finally not choosing Rei, it's not really a healthy love if one person's love is all you base yourself on. You have to rely on yourself for some things. Asuka herself suffered from this single-minded focus for a while in TOILI, but once she found her mom again in Unit-02 she returned to her old self. Gendo never did recover. Just for note: the code-name the JSSDF gave for Gendo in this fic, 'Bellerophon,' is the name of the Greek hero who captured the winged horse Pegasus. After a long career fighting monsters, Bellerophon grew so arrogant in his own power that he planned to use Pegasus to carry him to Mt. Olympus, home of the Olympian gods. While the winged horse had faithfully served the master throughout their career together, Pegasus threw Bellerophon at the last moment, leaving Bellerophon a wasted figure while Pegasus went on to live with the gods. The benefits of a classical education. ^_^ I would like to thank Alain Gravel for writing the wonderful 'The One I Love Is' fan-fic. As well, I thank him both for the ability to be a pre-reader, and the opportunity to write this side story. Omake: Unit-01 attacked Gendo with the Lance. Gendo blocked with his own... (As Alain said, an image best forgotten....) Omake 2: Unit-01 grabbed the Lance in its hand. The single point of the weapon warped and twisted, becoming two pronged. Grabbing his own weapon, Gendo's lance also split to become two. Everyone who was watching the fight started barfing. (Yet more images best forgotten....) Darren Demaine Chairman of the Horde Horde O' Hentai Productions