From: sephirius@iname.com (James Grabowski) Subject: [Eva][Fanfic] Neon Genesis Evangelion: Variations on a Theme - Volume 3 __________________________________________________________________________ NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: VARIATIONS ON A THEME - Volume 3 - Tower Rising / Epitaph of the Soul Written By: James Grabowski & Geoff Upchurch Revision: 1.00 - Official Release Type: Fan Fiction - Action / Darkness / Drama / Humour / Romance / WAFF Source: Neon Genesis Evangelion Date: June 13, 1999 Time: 12:00:00 AM - EDT | 11:00:00 PM - CDT [Started: December 1998 / Time Unknown] __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ LEGAL INFORMATION: All characters contained in this script are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, and any other company and/or division associated with the creation and/or production of Neon Genesis Evangelion. A.D.Vision holds the copyrights to the translated version of Neon Genesis Evangelion. At this time, they are used WITHOUT the permission of the aforementioned institutions. This script is a production of the above mentioned authors, and may not be used in any way, shape, or form without prior permission of the authors. Distribution is subject to prior approval by the authors. Right now, distribution is strictly prohibited. __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ CONTENT WARNING The following fiction contains content which some readers may view as offensive. This includes: + Offensive language + Gentle and overt darkness + Spoilers for Neon Genesis Evangelion + Warm and fuzzy feelings + Themes of a more intimate and/or sexual nature Neither author cares one iota about the reader's age; they are 16 and 19 years of age respectively at time of publication. All judgement is made by the reader whether or not to examine the contents of this document. In other words, reader discretion is advised, just as viewer discretion is with Evangelion in general. __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ AUTHORS' NOTES: Volume 3 of "Neon Genesis Evangelion: Variations on a Theme" has finally been completed. It is no lie when we say we couldn't be happier to have it off our shoulders. We would have thought we'd have this volume out quite some time ago, but between school and one bloody scene, we just couldn't manage to get it _done_ until now. Still, that's no longer a concern. It _is_ done, thank God, and that's that - not to mention within the "VoaT Standard Time Frame". In case nobody's noticed, V2 [Feb.12/99] came out four months and a day after V1 [Oct.11/99], and V3 [Jun.13/99] is coming out four months and a day after V2 (NOTE: All dates are relative to EST/EDT timezone). Technically, it's right on schedule. Hopefully, we can cut that schedule for future releases. Every time we say that though, we don't seem to. Just don't get your bloody hopes up. Four months for 382.9K worth of script/translation isn't all that bad, especially when you actually have to carve out time(zones) to work. A few notes of interest on this volume. This should mark the last in a line of ignoring some of the other elements of Eva - the Evangelions for example. Heck, they're mentioned in here... which brings a very important point on. From here on in, VoaT is spoiler-territory galore, as well as evaluation and consideration of an idea. If you have not seen the series, do not read this unless you want to be spoiled and/or subjected to a view on some of the more controversial topics of Eva. Please note also that some of this is purely conjecture. There are some things in Eva that are more or less unprovable one way or the other. Still, "While the questions have been painstakingly researched, the answers are guessed", to borrow an old phrase from a radio 'gameshow'. Secondly, there are a number of references to different historical events, figures, or general items which have been or are present in society. As some people may not be familiar with some of the references, they are grouped together at the end of the document under "Appendix III: References", which explains them in further detail. These have no bearing on Eva whatsoever, and serve just as useful knowledge, or as feed for Jeopardy questions (seriously, it's true). Other than that, keep in mind (and you should already know it if you've been following this series of fiction at all) that it is _quite_ emotionally intensive. Explanations would be spoilers, so we'll leave it at that. A final note would relate to just that - if you've read the previous volumes, you know of some of the content to be found in here - we don't care about age, but if various things offend you (which are listed in the warnings section), then don't read naturally. Instead, mail this document to someone who actually wants to. One last note: This volume had exactly one point where it didn't hang up in the process of bringing a 'finished product' out. Our test readers made impressive time in reading and replying to the work, allowing us to quickly polish the work. Particularly, Shi Lin completed her 'job' within the first day of the test volume being sent out. Credit where credit is due. There is no more to say concerning this volume. Everything to be said has been said, everything to be done has been done. This volume will be touched no longer, unless multiple errors are found, or we proceed with the additional project, which, for the sake of everything involved at this time, is just going to remain a mirage in all minds until such day as we have the time to proceed with it. Even then, it involves adding one line to the file, so it's nothing. It's the end, c'est la fin. Comments and criticisms are welcomed (and half-expected), as are flames which will be returned in kind, supposing we actually get any. This document can be found on the RAAC, the S.S.P. site, the sites of the respective authors, and SDAT. Exceptions to certain contacts have been made - you've read the legal disclaimer by now, the rules hold, requirements are there, and so forth. Read on! - James Grabowski & Geoff Upchurch - Scheduled Scenario Productions __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ Neon Genesis Evangelion: Variations on a Theme - Volume 3 - Tower Rising / Epitaph of the Soul ------------------------------------ "There is no way in _hell_ I'm taking anyone down _there_ tonight," Ryouji declared firmly, crossing his arms. "Not a damn chance." Ritsuko nearly slammed her empty glass down on the table. "What the hell makes either of you think you're even allowed down there? How did you even know _what's_ down there?!" "Wouldn't you just love to know?" Ryouji chided, smirking. ------------------------------------ AUGUST 2, 2016 - 8:00 PM TUESDAY ------------------------------------ "Keep in mind that I keep a weapon handy when I think it's necessary..." Ritsuko commented eerily. "Don't even think I'm going to let you out of this house alive with that kind of treason on your backs." "You came over here _last_night_ to talk about Shinji and proceeded to get _drunk_! About the only thing you're packing is a sloppy _tongue_!" Ryouji was consumed with a fit of laughter. "And if knowing the truth is treason, you may as well go ahead and kill us all now... with that sloppy tongue of yours." He rocked back on his chair as he cackled, eventually tipping it over, man and chair crashing to the floor. Even after hitting the floor, Ryouji was still laughing ridiculously. Ritsuko's eyes were closed, her complexion red, eyebrows twitching as she shook a fist over him, a large vein making its presence known on her forehead. "You miserable son of a bitch." She kicked his side with a sock-covered foot which managed to roll him over twice, only serving to calm him down as he continued to chuckle. "Now children, play nice..." Misato eased, sweating lightly at the scene. 'I'd better get this under control...' Ryouji was back on his feet in a heartbeat, stifling more laughter. "I think I've had enough guns pointed at me over that particular piece of knowledge anyway..." He barked a laugh. "Wouldn't you agree, Misato?" All three were failing to notice that the high-pitched laughter and screaming produced the undesired effect of generating a fifteen-year-old brunette standing in the doorway, looking on awe-struck. "What the heck are they talking about?" Hikari muttered under her breath. "You're just not careful enough, Kaji-kun," Misato commented, smiling. "I'm deadly serious here. Do you know what I'm supposed to do in a situation like this?" Her hands traveled inside the pockets of her jeans, borrowed from Misato's dresser along with one of Misato's less revealing sweaters. Seemingly by energy-to-matter conversion, Ryouji produced a handgun in his hand from his jacket and pointed it at Ritsuko, a slight smirk on his face. "You're supposed to put your hands on the table, right where I can see 'em, and be a good girl." Hikari inhaled sharply. Ritsuko's eyes widened, frozen. "Put it down," Misato ordered half-calmingly. "No one's getting killed tonight, or ever, hopefully." Ryouji laughed once more. "Ritsuko, you can pull your hand out of your pants pocket now. Everyone's seen Field of Dreams before," he chided, grinning darkly. Ritsuko's hands slowly left her pockets as she slid into her chair. Misato extended her hand. "Gun please." "Yeah, fine..." He shrugged and handed the gun to Misato somewhat grudgingly. "Thank you." She pocketed the gun in her red field jacket which hung on her chair, and with a second thought took the jacket and slipped it on. "Now, back to what I was originally saying..." Still peering at them from the other side of the wall, Hikari was sweatdropping vigorously. "Why do you want to go down there anyway?" Ryouji asked. "Oh, I've just got a few questions I want answered, and I would lay a year's salary on the fact that at least a _few_ of the answers I want are 'down there', as you so aptly put it." "And them?" Ryouji asked as he pointed in the general direction of the hallway, causing Hikari to put her back to the wall. "Shinji and Rei are going," Misato stated simply. A brief silence followed as both adults watched her silently. "...I don't understand," Ryouji finally conceded. "Why do you want to show them that all of a sudden?" 'What have I missed these past---' "There's a bit more down there than... _that_," Misato explained, interrupting his thoughts. "I can't allow that Misato," Ritsuko stated. "All of this has to go back to---" "Who, Ritsuko?!" Misato exclaimed, slamming her fist down on the kitchen table. "That person who you've termed so affectionately as a 'bastard'? The one that's planning all our deaths?" '_Deaths?_' Hikari thought. Ritsuko face-faulted. "Errr..." Ryouji watched on quietly. "Ritsuko, listen to me," Misato continued quietly. "You have to open your eyes. I don't know about everything that's going on, but from the way you put it..." She shook her head in silence. "You have one thing right, Misato," Ritsuko countered. "You _don't_ know everything that's going on... and honestly, I don't think that knowing will help you much." "I know enough from following the Commander that something's not right. I had a little confrontation with him today... he knows that I know a few things. I don't think he'd expect you to... well... side with me on this." As Ritsuko commented with "All the more reason not to.", Ryouji simultaneously exclaimed "You _what_?!" "Huh?" "What do you mean you had a 'confrontation'?" Ryouji spat. "Didn't I mention it? He tried to kill me today." She coughed softly. "I was called to his 'office' about the situation from last night, and that broke down into something about 'implications' which he wouldn't spit out... I stormed away at gunpoint, and he shot a bullet by my head and said if I was going to do something, to do it..." She shook her head, tone softening. "That man frightens me." Hikari blinked. 'That's... Shinji's father?!' "I think we're taking a little _trip_ tomorrow, Misato-chan. I do hope that sleepy Children don't make too much noise." Ryouji smirked deftly, but held back a fiendish grin. 'Let's see what that bastard thinks when I breeze through his security at one in the bloody morning! Hah!' "Glad you see my point of view." Ritsuko was gaping openly. "Well, Ritsuko?" "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'WELL RITSUKO'?!" Ritsuko shouted at Misato. "Are you going to help us, or do I get to let Kaji-kun tie you up and leave you here under pretenses that you're still sick?" she replied, grinning darkly. "Wh... wh..." Ritsuko regained control of her stuttering voice, switching to her take charge demeanor. "Now see here Major..." Misato tossed her keys to Ryouji. "Rope's in the trunk, Kaji-chan." Ryouji sat up from the table, grinning widely. "W-wait!" "Reconsidering already?" Misato asked. 'I can always take them from the inside if I need to.' Ritsuko's thoughts were much more calm than her physical display. "You don't understand. You want to get us all killed? At least he still has a use for me! He still---" "From the way I heard it from you," Misato interrupted, "we're all as good as dead anyway... just a matter of how and when. I think I'd rather at least know I'm dying for something which _deserves_ death." "But..." "So you're telling me you have no resentment toward him? You'll happily follow his every command into whatever oblivion we're heading for?" "Of course not!" Ritsuko defended. 'Ikari, you idiot!' "Then what's keeping you back Ritsuko? Do you like hiding all these things? Is that what you want? What do you want Ritsuko?" Misato's barrage of questions ended in a brief silence. Ritsuko glared at Misato, but her gaze soon fell to the tabletop under Misato's intensive stare. Ritsuko's voice was low-pitched. "I don't want you killed over my stupidity, Misato. I can make sure the MAGI... overlook, shall we say... your little trip. I'll be going." She sighed resignedly. Misato grinned warmly. "And Asuka?" Ryouji questioned. Hikari's interest in the discussion picked up. His comment had wiped the grin from Misato's face. "She's... not going." "Why not?" the other two adults asked in unison, echoing the words in Hikari's mind. "I don't think I'd put a lot of stock in taking her right now... with the condition she's in." "She can't be left in the dark forever Misato," Ryouji uttered softly. "She's just as deserving as the rest of us are." "She's in my care, and I say she's not going. That's one risk that I _won't_ take." Despite the firmness, her words begot sorrow. "I'm just saying that when this is over that you'll have to let her know what we learn. I understand why you don't want to take her now, from what you said over supper... but you can't leave her unknowing afterward." He stroked his stubble thoughtfully. "And in that case, if the rest of this household is going, she'll need to be put somewhere else so that she won't suspect anything..." "How about that girl who was here?" Ritsuko reluctantly offered. "Hikari, was it?" The girl in question was frantically shaking her head. 'Bad idea, _bad_ idea!' "Now that's not a half-bad idea, Ritsuko," Misato approved. "They spend enough time together as it is. I doubt Hikari would mind... though we'll have to completely re-plan this if she does..." 'Damn!' Hikari thought, retracting a step. 'This isn't good...' "Speaking of which... did she ever leave?" Ryouji shrugged. "I don't know. What I do know is that I want to be in there early in the morning. _Really_ early, so I want to at least let one of the others know about this escapade. Which reminds me... I haven't seen Rei. You said she disappeared this afternoon after..." He shook his head silently. "You wanted to take her, didn't you?" 'I should have left!' Hikari backed up another step. "Yes, I did. Go ahead and talk to Shinji. I'm sure he can find Rei if anyone can." Misato smiled sadly. "And find out if Hikari's left yet while you're at it... she'd probably be in Asuka's room." Hikari was already heading there. Ryouji rose from the table. "Not a problem. You realize that we only have a couple of hours to rest before we have to get going. Ritsuko, you really should get into uniform." A smug grin befell his lips as he headed for the hallway. "And thanks for supper." "My coat _is_ still here, isn't it..." Ritsuko half-chuckled. "Oh definitely, and you can still wear your skirt and blouse I'm sure..." She turned in the direction that Ryouji disappeared, calling after him. "I think Ritsuko's coat is still in Shinji's room. Could you get that too?" "Yes, yes..." came the faint, tired reply. =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Volume 3 Tower Rising / Epitaph of the Soul =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Hikari all but ran toward Asuka's room. 'I'm in over my head... Definitely.' She flung the door open as she met it, rushed in at terrific speed, and flung it closed again in one swift motion. She let out a large sigh as she rested against the door, eyes closed, drawing a deep breath. Asuka was still garbed in her rather loose apparel, laying spread across her bed. She looked up, somewhat startled at Hikari's sudden appearance. "Err... hello again!" Hikari exclaimed as her eyes flew open. "What's the matter? Catch Shinji in the middle of something?" Asuka smirked. "Thankfully, that has _nothing_ to do with it. Let's just say I wish I'd left when I had the chance." Asuka blinked. ------------------------------------ In the hallway adjoining the living room to the bedrooms, Ryouji Kaji stood at Shinji's door. "I'll just make this quick..." he said to himself softly, sliding the door open, fully expecting Shinji Ikari to be alone in his room. What he found, obviously, was quite to the contrary. In the softly moonlit room, both Shinji, and to his surprise, Rei, were lying on the bed. Both, and at this he breathed a sigh of relief, were fully-clothed, and rather tucked together. 'One problem solved...' he thought, groaning mentally. 'And another arises...' With that, and another moment's thought, Ryouji stepped into the room and slid the door shut behind him, a slight smile gracing his lips. As he did, Shinji shifted in his sleep, eyes opening partially, showing his sleepiness, then, upon further inspection of the situation, shot wide open. "Still awake, I see," Ryouji observed softly. "We've got an early trip tomorrow, Shinji... so rest while you can." 'Trip?' Shinji thought, eyes returning to their normal size. 'And he's not going to murder me here and now?' "Rei'll be going too, by the way," Ryouji added, standing motionless just inside the door. "You two _do_ look cute together, you know." "Understood, sir," came Rei's quiet voice, somewhat muffled, as her head was against Shinji's chest. "Ummm..." Shinji blushed, though the dim lighting hid it well. Ryouji's reaction was... quite similar, though minus the blush. At that point, Rei opened her eyes as well. "When I said early, I meant _really_ early. Get some rest you two. That is... if that's possible." "What do you mean by that?" Shinji asked, still blushing. 'Is it the trip... or...' "What is the destination?" Rei asked softly. "Terminal Dogma." Ryouji watched, though the slight movement in Rei's eyes was quite undetectable in the poor lighting. "Terminal Dogma?" Shinji asked, shaking his head. "I've heard it mentioned before, but I've never been there." "Well, you're going to get a rather intimate tour of the place, thanks to Doctor Akagi." "It is another extension of NERV headquarters, deeper into the earth than Central," Rei explained quietly. "It serves as housing for projects which the higher-level personnel wish to remain unknown." "Doctor Akagi? Ritsuko?" Shinji asked after both others had finished speaking. "It's a long story, Shinji. Let's just say that she prefers it to the alternative." "Why are we going to... Terminal Dogma?" "I don't know yet. I think... we'll find out when we get there," Ryouji replied carefully. "I'll go," Shinji agreed, almost silently. "I..." Rei began, then stopped. "I will go, sir," she completed after a pause. "Good. We'll be leaving around midnight." "Kaji-san?" Shinji asked as the be-stubbled man edged to the door. "Yes, Shinji?" "Why... don't you find this...?" "Find this... what?" "Wrong. Ritsuko-san says it's wrong, Misato-san seems to not approve of it... but you..." "Oh, Misa-chan isn't nearly as disapproving as you think. Trust me, she doesn't have _any_ right to be," Ryouji replied with a deviant grin. "So... this is... alright to you?" Shinji asked slowly. "Why not?" Ryouji asked, somewhat surprised. "I'm sure I'd done worse things by the time I was your age." Shinji fired off blinks in rapid succession. "I'm sure you'll figure it out," Ryouji assured him. "Catch a little sleep, will you? You've got a _very_long_day_ ahead of you." With that, he opened the door and stepped out, though didn't close it again. "And I thought _this_ was a long day..." Shinji said, yawning. "Rest, Shin-chan." She paused, then continued. "Would you promise me something?" "Yes?" "Don't run away from me." "I wouldn't..." Shinji said, confused. "Please, Shin-chan." "I wouldn't do that, Rei," Shinji affirmed. "Then we should rest," Rei said, nestling against him once again. "Sleep well, Shinji-chan." The slightly confused Shinji Ikari smiled slightly and closed his eyes, reaffirming his grip on Rei. "Good night, Rei-chan." At hearing the end of the conversation, Ryouji closed the door tight and walked down the hall to Asuka's room, opening the door softly and poking his head in. Asuka lay on her bed in the lit room, staring off at the far wall, paying Ryouji no heed. Seeing that, he eyed the room silently, attempting to decide how he was to proceed. Meanwhile, behind the bed, Hikari was breathing very, _very_ quietly. "Who is it?" Asuka asked, not at all sure exactly why Hikari was hiding behind the bed. "It's Kaji." Asuka turned slowly to face the door, not looking at all energetic. "Hello, Kaji." "I was just wondering if you had Hikari secreted away in here..." Hikari, surprised, gulped quietly. "Hikari? Well... she was here before... I went to rest right after she left, so... Maybe she's hanging around outside?" She shrugged. "Well, we were just wondering if she wouldn't mind keeping you at her place for a while... but if she isn't here, then she isn't here," he replied with a smirk. "Is something wrong?" Asuka asked, interest suddenly piqued. "No, not really. Just that with how crowded his house is tonight, we were hoping to be able to make a _little_ room." "So you want to get rid of me again?" Asuka asked, turning around. "Would you rather share a bed with Ritsuko or Rei?" 'Ritsuko is...' Asuka thought, gripping her sheets to keep from gagging. 'Rei is... Shinji would lose _any_ self-control he has if he saw anything like _that_ happen. Though... I don't want to be alone with the bitch in a room, much less the same bed...' She turned her attention back to Ryouji. "Give me an hour or so. No one sleeps in this bed without getting their own sheets." "Suit yourself," he agreed, grinning. "And _you'll_ be driving us," Asuka added, smiling. "Fair enough." 'She's just been suckered...' Hikari thought from her hiding place. "See you later, Kaji," Asuka said, her voice momentarily regaining some of its feeling. 'And even then... after what I've heard... if the half of it is true... I wouldn't want to let her go either. Though what it all is... I don't know,' Ryouji thought to himself. Ryouji flashed one of his 'I'm a walking God' grins and disappeared from the room. Asuka blushed in spite of herself. "Well, I guess we're going to your place, Hikari," she announced, rolling to her feet to begin packing a day's worth of clothes, less a school uniform. "Errr... yeah." Hikari smiled somewhat. "Asuka, my sisters will have a fit if you show up wearing _that_." "How come?" "Oh, well... Kodama doesn't think it's decent for any young lady to go around in anything quite _that_ revealing... and Nozumi... of that I don't want to speak." Asuka looked down at herself, then back up at Hikari with a slight shrug. "This is what I usually wear at night. I'll change before we leave, and back once we're ready to sleep at your place." "Sounds good to me. I didn't say I _agreed_ with them, you know..." Hikari replied, blushing slightly. Asuka promptly set the bag back down and laid out all the clothes she had packed on the bed as Hikari stood by. "Hikari? I'm going to..." Asuka said, looking at the door once she was satisfied that everything was as it should have been. "Okay, I'll be waiting..." she answered, smiling lightly. Asuka picked up the smile and walked to the door, through the empty portal, and closed it behind her. "I hope that goes well..." Hikari said to herself. "I'd best call home..." ------------------------------------ Asuka paused outside Shinji's door momentarily, then opened it gently. The view her vantage offered her was very similar to that which Ryouji had received scant minutes before. Shinji's head came up almost immediately; he obviously hadn't gone back to sleep. Rei, though, did _seem_ to be asleep. The whole... _ease_ of the situation unnerved Asuka. "Come on in, Asuka," Shinji said softly. "And shut the door after you, please." In response, Asuka actually did as was asked of her. As the door slid into place, she walked quietly to the bed, hovering over it on the side nearest Rei, still looking uneasy. "Is there a problem?" Shinji asked simply. "... I don't..." Asuka stammered. "It will not be held against you, Miss Soryuu," Rei said quietly, her eyes still closed, voice rather emotionless. "Won't be held... against me?" "You came here for a reason," Rei replied simply. Asuka nodded as Rei extended a hand, her eyes opening slightly. 'What the _hell_ is she doing?!' Asuka sweatdropped. "Are you waiting for something?" "Oh, what the hell..." Asuka said quietly. Shinji glanced at Asuka, then at Rei's still-extended arm. Instead of taking it, Asuka crawled over the both of them and lay on the other side of the bed, facing Shinji. "That was not difficult, was it?" Rei asked simply, arm resting near Asuka on Shinji's side. "More than you can imagine, Ayanami." --- MST Insert =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Shinji Ayanami: Shouldn't that be 'Ayanami-Prime'? Megatron: More than you imagine, Optimus Prime. --- Shinji stared into space, praying that the two girls wouldn't decide that it was a good time to attempt ripping each other to shreds. In that same instant, Rei took one of Asuka's hands in one of her own. Asuka shivered in response, and crouched against Shinji in an attempt to cover it up. Rei then looked up and over Shinji, down at the redhead. "Relax, Soryuu," she said simply, laying her head back down on the bed, hand still clasping Asuka's. 'Peacemaker...' Shinji thought. "Hikari's... gonna have a fit..." Asuka said softly. 'Hikari?' Shinji thought as Asuka snuggled against him, promptly sighing peacefully. Rei moved again, placing her hand on Asuka's hip, resting it there. Asuka blinked and shivered, surprised. The blue-haired girl gave a soft squeeze with her hand, then returned it to rest on Shinji, who, from the look of his face, was quite bewildered, apparently having _no_ idea what he was supposed to be about. It was also obvious that he knew full-well that he wasn't going to get any sleep pinned between the two. Rei eyed Shinji momentarily, then Asuka, and finally closed her eyes once more. "God, I must be insane..." Shinji said, mistakenly speaking aloud. "Why's that?" Asuka asked. Shinji just shook his head, realizing he had spoken aloud. "I think you already know, Asuka..." "It's all right," Rei affirmed, eyes still closed. Asuka squeezed Shinji gently in response. "I... shouldn't have put you two through this..." Shinji spoke softly. "It's all right," Rei said again, letting her hand slide under Asuka's shirt and onto her hip, giving another gentle clasp. "It isn't a problem to me." Asuka, surprised again, jerked in response to the contact. "Relax, Miss Soryuu... Shin-chan..." Rei said, squeezing Asuka again. "It's just..." Asuka began, then slowed, both Shinji and Rei waiting on the continuation. "I don't know... I just didn't expect that from... you." Shinji split a glance between the two girls. Rei, meanwhile, gave another small squeeze with her hand. "Does it bother you?" she asked rather innocently. "No..." Asuka replied, shivering slightly. "It isn't Shinji... but I feel... good... It scares me." "What you fear is contact with other people, no matter who they are. Soryuu-san, I am allowing this one time without a war or feud, for all our sakes." Shinji blinked, though he wasn't sure whether to put it down to the statement by Asuka, or the following one from Rei. When Asuka responded, it was softly, and obvious as well that she was near tears. "But this war would be over... Shinji-chan..." With a ragged breath, she buried her face in his neck. Shinji glanced at her in surprise, a time which Rei took to reaffirm her grip, after which he slipped one arm each around the two young women, doing his best to hold both comfortingly, allowing Asuka to cry. "This is just how things are..." he said quietly. "Don't worry..." "But things can't..." Asuka replied, sobbing quietly, "...be like... this..." 'I'm sorry, Asuka...' "Once, Soryuu-san... don't think about it." As soon as Rei spoke, Asuka slipped out of the bed of her own accord. "You've won, Rei," she said, walking to the door and all but throwing it wide open. "And I've lost." Shinji looked on in silence as Rei also slipped out of the bed and walked up behind Asuka, placing a hand on her shoulder. "This isn't a competition. No one wins, no one loses. This simply is," Rei explained, slipping an arm around Asuka's waist. "But you don't need to run away from it right now." Asuka shook her head. "No, you have what's yours by right," she said while her tears continued to fall. "Isn't that enough?" "No," Rei answered, bringing a look of shock and confusion to Asuka's face. "No one can exist alone. You are _not_ exempt from that. Why do you feel that you must run away from this?" "Then I'll find another way to live. I won't take what is yours, no matter that I would die for it." By that point, Shinji was also standing and watching, not at all sure what to do about the improbably-unstable Second Children. "It isn't a right," Rei asserted, tightening her hold on Asuka. "It is a choice that we have made. Just as you are being given a choice to stay for a while, to calm your fears and anxieties... to give you comfort. To keep you from being alone, even if it is only for a time." "There's no point in a temporary fix, and you know it." "That it is now does not mean it is a 'temporary fix'. Other solutions can be found, if you are willing to look for them. Perhaps... you can find your own permanent solution in what you think now is only partial." "Don't leave, Asuka, when you don't have to," Shinji said, speaking for the first time to address the situation. "You can't just keep shunning the comfort others try to give you." 'A lesson... I need to learn, as well...' "But eventually, that won't even help me. I won't make _that_ mistake." "Even though it isn't a mistake? In the end, that could be what will help you find _your_ path," Rei countered, then resumed, speaking more softly. "You don't know where your path is, because you have not found it yet. Do you want to find it?" Asuka regarded her coldly for a moment, then spoke. "Finding this path will only hurt him and you. You... I owe you all but my heart and soul for what I've done... and I would rather die myself than bring him pain again. Leave me _be_, Ayanami." Rei slipped around in front of her 'charge', staring at her face-to-face, still holding her by the waist. "Don't think you can get rid of me that easily for a second time today," she said, managing to sound almost Asuka-esque despite the quiet voice and slight grin. 'Persistent, isn't she?' Shinji thought while looking on. "You're asking more of me than you know..." "Though, nothing is being asked of you. This is simply an offer that is being made to you," Rei replied, herding Asuka backward. For her part in the deal, Asuka didn't bother to fight back, simply being lead blindly back across the room, eyes wide and mouth fallen open. Rei lead her back until Asuka's legs were brushing the bed slightly. "I..." she said, shaking, allowing herself to fall onto the bed. From her place, still standing, Rei regarded Asuka. "You have to open your heart and mind to others. Otherwise, you simply won't be able to exist." "No one should live like that," Shinji agreed. "Fine... it's your mistake." Rei lowered herself slowly, sitting on the bed next to the sprawled Asuka. "What is it you want, Asuka?" "You already know that. You both do." "What do you have?" Asuka laughed harshly. "Myself, and my pain." "And you have friends. Horaki, Aida, Ikari... all people who would help take your pain in one form or another." She lay down, then, facing the redhead, regarding her with a calm detachment. "Asuka, I didn't say you could come here just to bring you more pain. Can you understand that?" "No... You brought me here to cause you more pain. Can't _you_ understand that? I want _you_, Shinji. Understand? Exactly what _she_ wants. That's what you deal with by bringing me back." "I didn't bring you back here. You asked to come here, you chose to come. I simply let you." "You came here to ease your own pain," Rei added. "And I shouldn't have. I know that now." "You didn't do anything _wrong_," Shinji said, sitting on the edge of his bed. "You're just not following this, are you..." Asuka said, sighing. "We're stubborn," Shinji replied with a slight smile. "What can I say?" "Stubborn?! _Stubborn_ doesn't _begin_ to describe it! You two could give lessons in stubbornness to a _stone_!" Shinji, unable to help himself because of the pure hilarity of the statement, started laughing. "Does it seem familiar?" Rei asked. Asuka's jaw dropped again, thinking not of anything at present, or even dealing with Shinji or Rei, but rather of the past incidents with Hikari earlier in the day. "Is something wrong?" Rei asked, replacing her hand on Asuka's waist and rolling up next to her, evoking a vein-crown from Asuka, reminiscent of that brought upon by Misato drinking Ritsuko's cold coffee so many months prior. "I see." Asuka promptly fell prey to the alliteration of shaking visibly and being visibly shaken. Shinji lay down on the other side of Asuka, holding her gently as well. 'If nothing's wrong, then why is she so shaken?' "Mein Gott..." Asuka said, shuddering. "What is it?" Rei asked, seemingly concerned. "This is... insane!" "It is?" Shinji and Rei asked in perfect synchronization. Asuka rolled her eyes darkly. "You two are as hopeless as Hika..." Her mouth promptly snapped shut. 'Asuka Soryuu you idiot!' "That's the second time you've mentioned Hikari," Shinji commented. Asuka quickly attempted to shrink away, which was none-too-easy as she was sandwiched quite well between Rei and Shinji at the time. "What is it?" Rei asked quietly. "No... you shouldn't hear of this..." "Why?" Shinji asked simply, after waiting out a moment's silence. When neither girl replied, he continued. "What could you have done that's so bad that you won't even _speak_ of it?" "Perhaps it wasn't a bad thing," Rei commented. "Good for me... worse for her." Shinji shook his head, completely lacking comprehension. "Finding care and consolation," Asuka continued disdainfully, "in another woman like that... I'm the lowest." Shinji's eyes attempted to widen, but he killed the impulse without even a second thought. "Why does that make you low?" "It's... disgusting!" "Yet you are doing so once more, are you not?" Rei asked quietly. 'She better not be referring to anything _she's_ doing.' Asuka thought. "Am I?" "Perhaps, though there is nothing to fear about it," Rei replied. "No... there's everything to fear about it." "Why?" Asuka laughed. "Sometimes...I almost forget how na=EFve you are, Ayanami," she said. Rei blinked. "That's no way to live, Rei. None at all. Here... let me make it so simple that even _I_ can understand it. Even when it feels right, it _still_ feels wrong. And then there's the nagging sensation... the one that tells you that maybe, just _maybe_, it's for the best... but it's gone every time you look over your shoulder. All it is... Just another pitfall... another trap in sin... But I'm already covered in that... It's just something else to make you think that everything's fine... that everything will be okay... But you know, deep down, that it isn't what should be, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. _That_ is why it's no way to live... especially when it will bring my dirt to her purity... or yours... or anyone else's." "I did not know that," Rei admitted. "And now you do. I lose any way I go." "I see why you may think that, but I believe that you will not. You are too stubborn... which is what I meant before," Rei replied, smiling slightly. Asuka laced her voice with a mock-anger, simply because she knew it would fit, and was expected. "That was an underhanded trick!" she said, proceeding to drop into a deep grin. "Perhaps," Rei agreed, smiling slightly. "Rei and Asuka getting along..." Shinji mused aloud. "Will wonders never cease..." Both girls put on dark glares and leveled them at Shinji, if for no more reason than that he deserved it. The unfortunate recipient gulped, though his grin didn't seem to fade, which probably made things all the worse for him. "Hikari was right about at least one thing. There _is_no_way_ he could handle three." "Three?" Shinji asked, not comprehending. "Three what?" "What do you _think_?" Asuka asked, smirking. Shinji thought for a moment, then turned _red_. "I... that is... I wouldn't _do_that_!" "We should get him now, while we still have the opportunity," Rei stated. "Errr... right," Asuka agreed, blushing. "I think." "I just meant that it's nice to see the two of you getting along," Shinji said, hoping to somehow alleviate the situation. "Most probably because we seem to be striving for the same goal," Rei answered. 'The choice was already made...' Shinji thought, sighing inwardly. 'I'm sorry, Asuka...' "What's with the long breath, Shinji? Overt bliss gotcha down?" "Just thinking..." Shinji replied, turning red again. "You know," Asuka said, obviously trying to tongue-catch Shinji. "You don't kiss half bad... as long as your nose isn't pinched shut." 'It is a pleasurable experience,' Rei thought. "And who's better?" Shinji asked giggling slightly. "Hikari?" At that point he promptly began laughing, rolling on the bed as well. "Last I checked, yes," Asuka replied, completely straight-faced. At _that_ comment, Rei began laughing slightly, and Shinji simply regaled further, absolutely cracking up. "Rei?" Asuka asked, getting somewhat annoyed. "Yes?" "Help me hold him down." Rei took the words as good enough reason, slipping past Asuka and sitting on Shinji's stomach, hands on his chest. Shinji, suddenly laughing no longer, gulped audibly, bringing a small smile to Rei's face. Asuka followed, sliding on the bed until kneeling with her knees near the back of Shinji's head, looking down at him. "You know, you did win some points earlier to put you back ahead of Hikari again." "I... did?" Shinji asked, mentally swearing to God that he was going to pass out, HONESTLY!, and forget the whole day, if for nothing more than the principle of the thing. "Yep." "H... how?" Shinji asked, the question elegant in its simplicity. "Just for being you, I guess." Asuka shrugged. "Maybe I'm getting too soft. What do you think, Rei?" "Looking at today... I believe most anything is possible." "Well... thank you," Shinji said quietly. 'I hope.' Asuka smiled down at him, noting Rei's steady breathing as almost an afterthought. 'Shin-chan is nervous.' "Then, may I ask one question? Just _what_ am I doing being held down by Rei?" "To keep you from moving," Asuka replied, appraising Rei's position. "A method," Rei agreed, smiling warmly. "But now..." Asuka said, giving an evil grin to Shinji. "Now?" he gulped. Asuka leaned further, still grinning. Rei, still sitting where she had deposited herself, was regarding the situation with a small grin evident on her face. The unfortunate boy went stiff as a board, having absolutely _no_ clue as to what the hell _either_ of the two girls were planning. Asuka, still smiling, leaned forward further, enough to allow the ends of her hair to tickle Shinji's forehead, and subsequently causing him to think, 'I'm going to have gray hairs by the time I'm twenty...' "Asuka, what _are_ you doing?" "Wouldn't you like to know?" she said, inching closer. "Yesyesyes," Shinji replied, nodding vigorously, causing Asuka to stop moving about an inch from his lips. Rei, in the meantime, pressed harder against Shinji's chest. "Kensuke..." he said softly, "you know too much..." Asuka mulled the comment for a moment, then grinned, looking up at Rei. "How well do _you_ think he can handle two?" "An interesting line of inquiry," Rei admitted, coming about as close to a deviant grin as could be believed possible for _any_ Rei Ayanami. Upon receiving her answer, Asuka nodded and looked back down at Shinji, considering her options. 'Ritsuko must've slipped something in my tea... Yeah, that's _gotta_ be it...' he thought, then said, "Two? Line of inquiry?" Asuka ran a hand along one of his cheeks, albeit upside-down. "Think, Shinji-chan." "Undoubtedly the only thing he _can_ do," Rei added, still smiling. "I'm not finding an answer..." Shinji said. "Think harder, Shinji," Asuka replied, inching closer as Rei relieved some of the pressure she had on Shinji's rib cage. With the sudden realization came a jaw-drop of cartoon-esque proportions, or nearly enough. He noted, peripherally, Rei's level breathing, though the wickedly-conspiratorial grin on Asuka's face warranted more of his attention and concern in the moment. "It either works... or it doesn't," he stated simply. Asuka looked up at Rei, who stared back, the redhead's smile replaced by a look with actual guilt in it. "Something going on up there that I should know about?" Shinji asked. After a moment's eye contact, Asuka turned her gaze away, then back as Rei nodded slightly, and finally down at Shinji, who she affixed with her eyes, stroking his cheek gently, all the while managing to look quite saddened. "I've completely missed _something_ here, haven't I..." "No," Rei replied, watching both Shinji and Asuka carefully. Asuka shifted aside and brought her lips to his softly, in a way that may have looked to have been of passion, though Shinji could have sworn was more of a declaration, and a symbol. 'God in Heaven, they're serious... though that may not be so bad...' he thought as Rei stroked his chest gently, seemingly preoccupied. Shinji waited in silence, returning the kiss about as well as he could while being held down. After a few moments, Asuka sat back up, a distant look in her eyes. "What's wrong?" the other two asked, again synched perfectly. "I'm..." she began, shaking her head. "It's nothing." Asuka set her hand on Rei's back and nudged her forward. "Your turn." she spoke simply. 'Why is it? I'm fucked up. I can have what I want, and I won't even take it! What the hell's wrong with me?!' 'What the hell is this? Baseball? ... No, that's innings. Chess, maybe...' Shinji thought, still motionless on the bed. Smiling slightly, Rei leaned forward, inadvertently increasing the pressure on Shinji's chest as she kissed him softly. 'And I can't even tell who's the better player. Damn, this makes the World Chess Federation's FIDE rating system seem simple!' Asuka watched quietly, almost resignedly, as she lost every bit of control she had gained in the situation. It was all she could, in fact, do to keep from strangling the both of them as she noted Shinji take Rei gently by the shoulders and pull her into a second kiss. The impulse had to be fought all the more as she noted Rei's acceptance of the fact. 'This is why I...' she thought, clenching her fists as Shinji pulled Rei tight in his arms. Still she watched, as Shinji slowly looked up into the eyes of his blue-haired counterpart, his own eyes seeming to smile on their own, at which Rei finally made the break between them, smiling gently. "I don't see anything of much difficulty to handle here," Shinji commented. That comment brought Rei to a straight-backed sitting position, from which she drew Asuka to her, grinning conspiratorially. The unwitting Children simply quirked an eyebrow, offering no resistance. "Soryuu?" Rei asked, laying her hands against her quarry's waist. "Yes?" Asuka replied, somewhat coldly. "How is Shinji reacting?" she asked, using the moment it took Asuka to formulate a reply to slip her hands up under the German's shirt. Asuka, having missed the gesture, mock-sniffed before her reply. "Oh that... just like a stuck-up chauvinist piglet who thinks he knows more than he does." The satisfied smirk was quite in evidence. "What are you two whispering about up there?" Shinji queried. "Do you know what that means?" Rei pressed, arms encircled loosely around Asuka's stomach, such that her shirt was slightly raised. "I can field a few educated guesses," Asuka replied, chuckling. Shinji, meanwhile, was noting movement above him, but, being as effectively immobilized as he was, could do nothing more than attempt to look away from Asuka's stomach. "Then?" "We prove he knows nothing, of course... at least when it comes to this," she answered, grinning. "Then that's the decision," Rei agreed, smiling somewhat. "But he's... yours..." Rei held the unwitting Second Children somewhat more tightly, allowing her hands to move up of their own accord. "That means nothing. The lesson is necessary." "Fine, but you lead." Rei shrugged, the motion jerking her arms up such that her hands rested just beneath Asuka's breasts. "I have been." Asuka managed a small 'eep' of surprise, the rath of a full-blown shriek. "All right?" Rei asked softly. "You didn't listen to a word I said, did you..." "I did. 'Fine, but you lead.' Those _were_ your exact words." "This wasn't exactly what I meant..." Asuka replied, blushing to an extent. Down below, the pinned Ikari was getting somewhat nervous. 'Just what are they doing?' "You could at least tell me what the hell you're planning," Asuka stated softly. Slowly, Rei pressed in on the girl's body, bringing her close enough that Shinji would not hear anything, and would also be incredibly distracted _attempting_ not to look at the two. "Proving him wrong, as you put it." "This... wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I said that..." Asuka replied. "After all, details are everything... Rei." "I did not know that you were one for plans," Rei replied, closing her eyes. "Maybe not, but I'm also not one for surprises... well, those sprung on me, anyway." "There are a few methods available. Would you rather it include him or not?" "Why not involve him? It's him we're here for, after all." 'I think... sleeping... was much safer...' Shinji thought nervously. "Is it?" Rei asked, her mouth inches from Asuka's ear. "Yes," came the frustrated hiss from the Second. 'Just as planned. Convenient.' "Then how can he handle two together?" "Somehow... I think he already has," Asuka replied, looking down at Shinji almost questioningly. "How so?" Rei backed away slightly. "Look at us! He's got us tied by the heart, and he didn't even have to _try_. I'd try to prove him wrong just for that, but I think that, somehow, it's too late to prove him wrong." "It's not in proving that wrong. The statement isn't completely true, because the effort had to be there, even if it wasn't conscious. If he doesn't wish to associate with us, the ties become broken. It's the same situation with us; we appear to be tied, though it's the combined will of both sides that generate that tie. The moment one person is no longer trying to keep the relationship, it no longer exists. The reality is, it's something that is wanted." "Walk in the fire, and I'll be burnt. You're better at this..." Asuka admitted, almost glumly. "So, what's the grand plan?" "My suggestion is one that is less of a psychological one. One that could be enacted before Shinji-kun falls asleep of exhaustion... that hasn't been caused by us." "Well, let's hear it before we smother the poor guy," Asuka replied, staring at the smile on Rei's lips. "He believes that there is nothing difficult to handle... What would be difficult to him?" Asuka smirked suddenly. "Losing his SDAT." "Interesting method. That can be worked in quite easily. Or we could work on another level by directly proving him wrong." "Remember, smothering," Asuka said, chuckling softly. "That would be a more interesting solution," Rei agreed, bringing Asuka tightly to her. 'What did I say?' Asuka screamed mentally. "What?" "Smothering." "Quit being so damned cryptic, Ayanami." "If you don't follow this soon," Rei said, sounding almost as if she was getting impatient, "I'm going to kiss you, Soryuu. What were we doing before?" "Don't you mean, 'what were _you_ doing before?'?" "Then you know what I mean," Rei replied, pushing Asuka down onto the bed and proceeding to stretch out atop her, arms still clasped around Asuka's midsection. The simple fact of the matter was simply that Shinji was even more bewildered than Asuka, his entire face seemingly going haywire, bringing Rei's gaze to his momentarily. Shinji laughed nervously. "Ummm... heh... small question. Hell going is here the on what?" "Showing you something very important," Rei replied, completely straight-faced. After a few more moments, Shinji finally set his tongue to speak in the proper order of things. "I don't get it." "Neither did I, until about two seconds ago," Asuka said, darting a hand out and clamping it on his arm. Shinji's eyebrows rose noticeably. 'This is getting weirder by the moment!' At that point, Rei extracted herself from Asuka and knelt on the bed on the other side of Shinji, pinning his other arm down. Asuka followed suit, kneeling next to him, leaving Shinji no option but to either sit up or have his arms pulled forcibly from their sockets. Soryuu continued moving, placing her hands around his waist and inching forward until her lips were just in front of his. 'Th... I... thi...' Shinji's brain fumbled for coherent thought as Asuka impressed a kiss on him, laying her body out softly against his as Rei, on her own initiative, clasped herself to his back. And the eternal blush resumed. As did coherent thought. 'What have I gotten myself into now?' he asked himself, kissing Asuka rather deeply, the eternal blush notwithstanding. Both girls pressed in harder, Rei's hands resting on Shinji's chest, also brushing Asuka's breasts by sheer accident. The eternal blush still continuing for its own namesake, it seemed not the least bit out of place on Shinji Ikari, who by any and all accounts certainly _should_ be blushing impressively at having girls pushed into him on both sides. Asuka, meanwhile, also fell victim to a mild case of the E.B. at the touch of hands on her chest that she believed were Shinji's. 'Is... this allowed?' she thought, breaking the kiss and speaking _very_ quietly. "Shinji... why are you doing that?" "Doing what?" he asked just as softly. "Your hands." "My... hands?" Shinji asked, absolutely confused, since the pair of hands most certainly did not belong to _him_. "Shouldn't do that." "I'm not doing anything with my hands, Asuka..." Shinji said quickly, one eyebrow arched. Soryuu looked down slowly, then yelped slightly, slipping back about a foot with her arms wrapped around her body. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing, Rei?!" "Hugging Shin-chan." "Why there?!" "Because that is how tall I am." Asuka twitched visibly. "Asuka, you don't have to leave," Shinji said, watching her. Asuka twitched again. "Rei's been... touching me since I got here, and you're telling me not to leave?" "No, I'm telling you that you don't _have_ to leave. Whether or not you _do_ is your choice, but to be near me means to be near her." "I wasn't leaving," Asuka replied, huddling up. "Certainly looked like you were..." "Play nice, or you'll regret it," Asuka retorted. 'I already regret it,' he thought. "Well, are you going to come back over here, or do you intend to rock on your heels for the rest of the night?" Asuka relaxed somewhat at that, but kept her arms crossed about her, looking preoccupied. "Soryuu-san... I was... in error." Asuka's eyes widened as she thought. 'She's apologizing to... me?' That thought alone held her speechless for several moments. "I... it's alright," she said, looking at Rei and nodding slightly. "It's alright." Shinji, meanwhile, gaped openly at the exchange. 'It's so different.' Asuka thought. "Please... you comfort Shin-chan. Come back..." 'Why the hell is she being... nice to me? Why are they _like_that_, now of all times?!' Asuka thought, moving back up the bed and sitting next to Shinji, watching the two carefully. 'Comfort me?' Shinji thought, the concept forming slowly. '...But, what about her?' "Rei?" Asuka asked slowly. "Yes?" Rei replied softly, still hugging Shinji tightly. "What about you?" "If it pleases him, I am happy. Else, and it does not matter," Rei replied, managing to exclude Shinji from yet another conversation. "Why?" Asuka asked, her voice becoming sharper. "Why doesn't it matter? Don't you care about yourself, Rei?" "Yes, I do... though... I care about him more." "And if he weren't here right now? What would you think of me?" "He is here, and he is not leaving. I cannot answer the question without a means to know how." "I could leave the room for a few moments," Shinji said. 'And speak to Kaji... I need some advice. _Very_badly_.' "That is not what I meant. I mean, that you exist, and that will not cease," Rei replied. "That wasn't what _I_ meant. I meant more along the lines of what Shinji just said." "That doesn't change what is." "All I'm asking, Rei, is what you think of me." "You please Shinji. I can not explain it else." Rei shook her head, obviously at a true loss for a way to describe what she meant and felt. "As an individual person, Rei. What do you think of me? Not relating it to anyone else: What am I?" "You are yourself," Rei replied. "And it is comfort that you do require as much as you give." "What is it with you?" Asuka asked, sounding annoyed, and obviously very frustrated. "One moment, you ignore me, another you're scared of me, another you're nice to me... damn it, why?! Stop using other people as some kind of shield to your own person and answer me straight!" "I don't know that I can put words to it," Rei replied, "because the feeling always changes. It is not simple..." She sighed softly. "Forgive me..." "Forgive you?" Asuka asked, the palette of annoyance, confusion, and anger beginning to melt away. "You want me to forgive you, Rei... Gott... what do you want me to forgive? There's nothing to forgive if that's how you feel, because then there's nothing wrong!" "No, I would beg your forgiveness for hurting you." "Hurting me?" "Yes." "Damn it... Damn, I'm going to regret doing this..." Asuka said softly, though still audibly, as she tentatively reached forward and hugged Rei. "...You're not supposed to give me any... chances..." "No... you won't," Shinji put in. "Won't?" Asuka asked, confused. "You won't regret it." "Chances," Rei spoke against Asuka's silence. "You let me treat you like something worthless, without any concern for yourself... you don't say anything about what I did to you... and then you're being nice to me..." Asuka said very softly, obviously on the verge of emotional collapse. "I'm supposed to hate you... damn, I'm supposed to hate you! Why don't I?!" "Because I do not hate you." "Why not..." "I love _him_, and I will not lose that." "Loving him means nothing in relation to whether or not you dislike _me_. I know you care about him, but that doesn't affect this. Why don't you hate _me_?!" "I do not know." "You can't just _not_know_. I tried to _kill_ you today! You have every right, and still you don't!" "Do I?" Rei asked, breathing a heavier breath. "I don't have a desire to hate you. I had a desire to accept you once... just an acknowledgement, another person. I have experienced a mixture of emotions knowing you, though I may not always have understood them..." "You could... accept me?" "Yes. Yet, I would---" "Then... I would," Asuka replied, accidentally cutting her off. "What?" "Then I would accept... you." "That is the first time I have heard words in that manner," Rei answered. "The second to wish to know me." "Then... I'm the one who must be forgiven, Rei... not you. I could spend the night explaining _why_, but it's enough that it _is_," Asuka stated, letting out a hard breath. Rei slowly let go of Shinji and turned to face Asuka, taking the Second Children's hands in her own and looking at them. Asuka sat silently in the interim, awaiting Rei's response, which was soon to come. Rei took her hands and placed them on her own neck, seeming almost to tremble as she eyed Asuka quietly. "What...?" Asuka asked. After a few seconds, Rei slid the hands from her neck and held them in front of her, still staring at them, not noticing as tears welled in Asuka's eyes, nor as those same tears began to fall as she reached out, placing her own arms around Asuka, hugging her closely. "I don't hold anything against you..." 'How can she stand to do this?' Shinji asked himself from his position once more out of the loop. "I am..." Rei began, breathing softly as Asuka cried onto her shoulder quietly. "I am... sad, because you are. Why?" "Because you have a good heart... and you care," Shinji offered in place of Asuka, who couldn't battle a response through her tears. "I... wish to care about Soryuu? I..." Rei said, more thinking aloud than actual speech with intent to be heard. She dropped silent as she noticed Asuka sobbing softly, her tears soaking through the shoulder of Rei's shirt. "Yes." "Hmmm?" Rei asked, looking somewhat surprised. "You want to learn... to care. How better to understand _your_ emotions than to care for someone who hurt you?" Shinji asked, more than a little surprised that he had spoken. "I don't feel hurt," Rei asserted. "This isn't about feeling hurt anymore. It's about your heart, and mine, and hers." Rei's grip on Asuka strengthened momentarily, then snapped back to what it was before, tears dropping silently onto her shoulder. "Again, I see tears..." "Tears..." Shinji said gently, doing his best to enfold both girls in an embrace. "...And we are the ones who are crying." "Never intended, yet..." Rei said, voice growing softer, "...preferable. Needed. Wanted. All reasons for that which we have, yet are often in doubt of." "But... why cry over what is... right?" Asuka asked through sobs. "Because we are... trying to understand something difficult," Shinji answered simply. "It isn't... difficult. I am... in the way, and I do not want... to be," Asuka replied, not noting, as the others also had not, that Ryouji Kaji was standing in the doorway. "I do not find you in the way of anything," Rei offered, her tears having stopped. "You want to become one with... Shinji, as..." she sobbed, tears still falling from blue eyes. "Yes," Rei said. "As I do..." Asuka finished, almost painfully. "Soryuu?" Rei asked, awaiting a response. When none came, she calmly repeated herself, more loudly. "Yes?" "What is friendship?" "You can't explain _that_," Asuka replied. "It just _is_." "What is a friend?" "Someone whose company you enjoy, who enjoys yours... who would give of what they have... for you," Asuka replied. 'Hikari. I should listen to my own words...' "Are we able to become friends?" Rei asked quietly, almost as though pondering. "Why not?" "Fear... emotions... things not understood." "Didn't you hear me?" Asuka asked, her tears having stopped. "This doesn't _matter_ right now! I want Shinji, as Shinji, as _mine_, just as you do. _That_ can't be shared." She stared at Rei, her emotion only apparent in her voice. "It isn't fear, and it isn't emotion. It's just the God Damn Truth!" "It's of little importance at the moment," Rei replied. "No, it's of _all_ importance," Asuka said quickly, earning a nervous look from Shinji. "Shin-chan," Rei spoke softly. "Yes?" "What do we do... at this point?" Shinji continued bearing his nervous look, speaking softly. "What do we do? You are... asking me?" he asked, as much to himself as to the others. '... What _do_ we do?' "Well..." Asuka said, one arm still around Rei, the other around Shinji's neck. The simple look of sadness, mixed with an unmistakable anxiety, which spread across her face prompted Rei's following thoughts. 'I know his choice, yet there is difficulty... which I understand.' "I wish I could talk to Kaji..." Shinji said, apparently to himself. As Asuka looked between the two, a soft rapping came from the door, which, Shinji noticed, was already open to an extent. That certain extent revealed none other than Ryouji Kaji standing in the hallway. "Holy hell..." Shinji said, quite awe-struck, as Asuka squealed in surprise. "That is contradictory, Shin-chan," Rei commented, smiling, quite undisturbed in comparison to the other two. "Well..." Ryouji said, opening the door fully and eyeing the room seriously, though not imposingly. "This looks rather... interesting. How does it feel, Shinji?" That comment alone was enough to bring all three to a modest blush. 'If only we could've gotten Ritsuko back in college more often...' Ryouji reminisced. "Obviously quite nice, if _that's_ your reaction." "Well, this isn't _exactly_ the kind of thing that normally gets... walked in on..." Shinji replied. 'Nor is normal. At all.' "I believe you are getting a mistaken impression of the situation, Kaji-san," Rei stated, noting the growing smile above the stubble. "Then... why are you all still holding each other, in such an... intriguing position?" he asked, grinning. 'She's on one girl, he's on both girls, she's on one of each... It's been years...' Rei blushed as Ryouji continued. "I don't think you ever mentioned doing this before," he said to Asuka, that unique Ryouji grin on his face. "You... didn't ask..." Asuka replied, looking embarrassed, and blushing rather nicely. "And Shinji..." "...Yes?" "Don't think _you_ mentioned this to me before, either," Ryouji finished with a grin. "I can't very well mention something I didn't foresee..." "Though you seem to be quite happy right now." "Wouldn't you? I'm sure you and Misato conned Ritsuko-san into something like this, if half of the hints you drop mean anything," Shinji answered, smirking. "Ah, but you see, they're both quite interesting women. Opposite sides of the same coin, and a true pleasure to possess that coin," Ryouji said, regarding the three. "An interesting match." "I think the comment fits both groups," Shinji answered, chuckling lightly, and neatly tensing up for the slap he knew was coming from Asuka. Unfortunately for the back of his head, he was quite right. "We're not objects, you twit!" she all but screamed as his head pitched forward. "I know..." Shinji replied, shrinking back slightly against Rei. "I'm sorry." Asuka nodded confidently, petting his neck idly. "Oh, I remember what came after this..." Ryouji said, smiling widely, looking at the ceiling at nothing at all, thus not noticing Shinji begin to sweat and cast worried glances. "I do not understand," Rei said quietly. "Na=EFve..." Asuka muttered. "He means he's been in a situation like this before..." Shinji said, groaning softly. "That was a really interesting experience," Ryouji continued, chuckling. "Ritsu's not that cold..." 'Like Asuka's not that hot, right?' Shinji thought. "I don't follow," he said, trying to get Ryouji to spell it out and save himself another slap. "Are you dense?" Asuka asked. "What do you think?" "Very often," she answered. "But not always." "Then I suppose _you_ know what the hell he's talking about, eh?" "Of course I do!" she replied. 'Maybe...' "Well, out with it then! Don't hold us all in suspense here. Impress us with your wealth of collegian knowledge," Shinji said, smirking. "I would... like to know," Rei admitted. "Errr..." Asuka murmured, turning red. "You're high school students... you probably wouldn't understand. It's nothing all that important anyway..." "Then why are you turning redder with every word?" "I'm hot?" Asuka coughed. 'Damn it... batting zero...' Shinji took his hand from her body to her hand on his neck, lowering it to the bed, still in his. "Try again." "Errr..." Asuka said, blushing further. "He's probably saying that he and Ritsuko, and Misato..." "Oh yeah, that's it," Ryouji said, grinning. "What's 'it'?" all three Children asked simultaneously. 'Spoke too soon.' he thought. "Had a rather... interesting encounter, at a point in time." "You've already admitted _that_ much..." Shinji replied, using his 'I don't think _anybody'll_ buy that excuse' tone. "Yes, rather sharp, aren't we?" Ryouji said, slightly miffed. "Obviously, it was a rather intimate encounter, but I won't get into the details." "I should certainly hope not," Asuka said. "I won't have you putting strange ideas into these Children's heads." "What about you?" Shinji asked, looking at his hand, still clasped with hers, that had apparently moved toward her leg of its own volition. Asuka promptly blushed. "I understand now," Rei stated softly. "Would _you_ mind explaining, then?" Shinji asked. "Kaji-san, Katsuragi-san, and Akagi-san had a sexual encounter which Kaji-san thoroughly enjoyed." Shinji mirrored Asuka. '_Now_ she gives a straightforward answer...' Asuka thought weakly. "Now, tell me again, Asuka... which of you three has been to college?" Ryouji asked, chuckling. "I didn't _do_ things like that when I was in college!" "Well, we could always check that statement against the facts..." Ryouji said, deviant grin and all. Asuka promptly exploded forward, finding herself restrained from the back by Shinji as she started screaming and ranting. "You God-damned bloody pervert! I wouldn't lie about something like that! Have you no shame?!" "Well... now that you mention it... ummm... no," Ryouji answered, giving a rather satisfied nod. "We're not surprised." "I didn't expect you to be." All three sources of the initial statement blinked. "Well, in any event... it's time to be off. I hope you found those sheets you were after, Asuka." "Off?" "You and Hikari are going to her place, complimentary drive provided by yours truly, and everyone else is going to sleep... That is, if Shinji-kun and Rei-chan will be _getting_ any sleep." Asuka found herself once more restrained from behind by Shinji, and also this time by Rei in the front. "I'm going to make that drive a living hell for you! Do you hear me? You're gonna wish you stayed in college with those two!" "I expected nothing less from a college girl with a schoolgirl's crush on me," Ryouji said, smirking. "Let's go." "I guess you'd better go..." Shinji said as Asuka calmed down, wide eyes watching Ryouji leave. "Go..." she said, shrugging softly to break the grips of the two as she stood up. "I guess I should." "I'm sorry, Asuka..." Shinji said quietly. "For what?" "All this." He gestured vaguely at the room. "I'll see you in about three minutes, so hurry up," Ryouji said, popping his head back into the room. "Oh, and don't worry. The bosses won't be hearing anything... and you're all in luck tomorrow. Harmonics testing in the morning, and from what I hear, no plug suits." He grinned brightly as he ducked out once more, leaving Asuka gaping. "I believe he is correct on both counts," Rei stated. "You always keep current on that information, don't you?" Shinji asked. "It's my responsibility," Rei replied, eyeing the still-gaping Asuka. "Just in case Misato-san forgets to inform Asuka and I, correct?" "Those were Doctor Akagi's direct orders." "I'm not surprised," Shinji and Asuka replied, milliseconds apart. "Then I should go," Asuka continued alone. "Kaji-san said you still have a few minutes..." Shinji said, trailing off slowly. Asuka shook her head. "I need to change, and Hikari is waiting for me as well." "Okay. Good night, Asuka." "Yes... ummm... good night, Shinji. Rei." She slowly walked toward the door. "Good night... Asuka," Rei stated softly. Asuka turned at the door and nodded to the other two. "Ummm... we'll finish tomorrow," she said, grinning. "Let's see how well either of you'll be able to handle those tests with that on your mind." 'Oh my...' Shinji thought. "The Major will be on duty all day, according to the schedule," Rei pointed out. "Our schedule doesn't run the same as hers, and during testing the cameras are going to be shut _off_," Asuka replied. 'Now... is it Ibuki or Akagi who needs to be threatened? ...Both.' Shinji lay back on the bed slowly, his eyes drifting shut. "Dreaming about it already?" Asuka asked. "I don't blame you." With that, she offered a slight grin as she slipped out through the doorway. Rei laid down once more on the bed as the door gently slid closed behind Asuka. Quietly curling up next to him, the recognition of it was realized as Shinji placed an arm around her. Both Children remained silent for a minute of time, submerged in their own thoughts. "...Rei-chan?" Shinji questioned softly, breaking the silence. "Yes, Shinji-chan?" was the soft reply. "What just happened?" "Much, Shinji." "...That's what I thought," Shinji agreed, yawning softly. He gazed at the digital clock near his bed. "Only a couple of hours... do we sleep, or do we follow Kaji's insinuation?" he asked, chuckling softly. His humourous suggestion was soon interrupted as Rei leaned over him, gently bringing her lips to his cheek. "You are the male, as he is. What do you think?" Shinji blinked, then blushed softly. "I think that no one else will be disturbing us for the next two hours." "So now you insinuate, Shin-chan?" Rei asked, a small smile creeping upon her face. "Errr..." Shinji's blush was only intimidated. Rei rolled on top of him, resting face to face with him. "You are blushing, Shin-chan." "I know," he admitted, sounding somewhat embarrassed. "I can't help it." "And moonlight sets off a blush nicely," Rei continued, a soft grin visible upon her features. "Much like how it brings out your beauty, inside and out," Shinji stated in a comment which rivaled Ryouji's common flair. Rei blinked. Her cheeks slowly filled with a soft, reddish tinge. "...I am... beautiful?" she asked, sounding somewhat uncertain. Shinji regarded the expression on her face before speaking. "...Well... yes, Rei. As a person, you are... on the outside you are... mentally, and physically." He shook his head for a moment. "I can't get the right words to come out..." His eyes snapped to attention within moments of the ensuing silence. "I mean that you're beautiful, in mind, body, and soul. And the moonlight brings it out in you... as well as your blush." He smiled. 'Mind, body, and soul... Rei.' "I do not remember..." Rei started, pausing as she became lost in her thoughts. Shinji swallowed softly. "...ever being called that before," she finished. Both Children blinked in unison, blushing softly. After a moment of indecision, Rei kissed Shinji softly on the lips, still blushing faintly when she withdrew, despite a feeling of certainty within her. "I've never... said that before, either," Shinji admitted. "But, I mean it." "I know," Rei replied softly. Shinji smiled, letting out a small sigh as his body became less tense, more relaxed in his position. Rei gently wrapped her arms around Shinji's neck, greeted by his reflexive reaction of reaching around her, holding her softly at the small of her back. She kissed him again, goading him on, provided her actions could be considered goading. Shinji was none too reluctant to comply, melting into a state of blissful harmony as she softly ran her fingers across the back of his neck. It was perfection. Rei's hands moved slowly from his neck, gently extracting his shirts from where they were bound at his waist. Her hands traveled under the shirt and onto the skin of his back, circling her arms around him. Shinji's eyes widened slightly, a quick blink displaying his surprise. His hold on her tightened. "Shinji... We seem to have become more... constrained," Rei voiced, smiling softly. "...Compared to what?" His voice was few notches over a whisper. "To earlier." She kissed him once more. "So... what is it that you're..." Rei's small smile brought his silence. "You are not the only one who can insinuate, Shin-chan." Shinji blinked. "I..." He blushed as he found his gaze held by her red eyes, glowing dimly in the moonlit darkness. "Oh..." "Think, but don't think too long," she intoned quietly as she rubbed his back, a slight grin formed by her lips. Shinji caressed her cheek softly, lost in thought. He came to an unspoken decision as he kissed her gently. Rei's arms stretched upward to rest around Shinji's shoulders, pulling both of his shirts upward with them, smiling down at his form. With a forceful swallow, Shinji took hold of the green dress straps on her shoulders and gently pulled them off, letting them rest at mid-arm length. "It is not that difficult, Shin-chan," Rei intoned quietly. "I... haven't done this with you... before." "I should hope you have not done this with anyone before... and I suspect I am correct." A smile flashed briefly. Shinji swallowed again as Rei removed her arms from him, allowing him to slip the straps off her arms, effectively removing her school dress down to her waist. Her arms once more went around his shoulders as she lifted the shirts over his head, leaving them momentarily in a hockey-fight-esque fashion over his face. Blinded, Shinji fumbled with the button on the waist of her dress, not that he would have done any better were he actually able to see. "And the blind shall be given their sight," Rei said softly, a smile upon her lips as she lifted the shirts from him, gently dropping them off the side of the bed. Shinji, who was excelling at remaining conscious despite Rei's hapless, unintentional teasing, at last undid the button on the side of her dress. Rei kissed him softly on the forehead. Shinji breathed quietly for a short time, the air rising and falling from his lungs, until at last he made the decision to smile, giving Rei a small squeeze around the waist before moving to sit up. Rei complied with his wish, moving to sit behind him. She clasped her arms around his now bare chest, hands pressed gently against it as she rested her chin against his shoulder. "Rei..." Shinji breathed softly, hands by his sides. "Yes, Shin-chan?" He turned around on the bed, taking hold of her hands. "You wanted to say something?" she asked. "Yes." He smiled. "I'm glad to know you." A slight blush took form upon Rei's face. "That's... lovely, Shinji." Shinji's eyes widened slightly as they seemed to dawn with a flicker of recognition. Whatever the thought may have been, he let it pass as one hand traveled to her back, the other to her shoulder, in movement to lay her down on the bed. Rei's arms went quickly around Shinji's neck, pulling him down along with her, alongside her. They kissed as their heads became level, comfortable in one another's hold. Shinji slowly broke from her hold, climbing to his knees. He reached for her waist to slide off the dress, looking a bit uncertainly as his hands touched her. The soft nod was all the answer needed. With a nervous swallow, he tugged at the dress around her hips, pulling it carefully down the length of her legs until it slipped off her feet, and rested it near his shirts on the floor. Rei shivered slightly as his hands brushed across her legs. "Thank you, Shinji-chan." "For what, Rei-chan?" Shinji asked, gaze actually pointed in a direction that kept her from being in it. "For being the one I wish to unite my soul with." Shinji laid down next to her again, enfolding her in his arms as he kept himself focussed on her face rather than their states of half-dress. "Thank you... for being the same." "You know that Katsuragi-san would certainly not approve." The thought momentarily mulled within her mind. 'And Doctor Akagi... would be driven back to that cabinet Katsuragi-san was discussing earlier.' "And, you should know, that Kaji-san can hold a lot against her if she were to say anything." He couldn't help but smile at the thought. Rei smiled back as she pressed her lips to his. "I know." Shinji nuzzled her shoulder gently, apparently comfortable with how things were; or rather, how they were. Had anyone chosen that moment to barge into the room, it would have been considered a cute scene, provided they had no problems with two teenagers lying half-naked together on a bed and huddled close. Unfortunately, that didn't apply to any other of the current residents of the apartment at that time. Nonetheless, the feelings of warmth and fuzziness emanated freely from the simple action. But change is a part of life. "You can take that off too, if you wish," Rei whispered softly as his nose pressed against the shoulder of her shirt. Shinji blinked quickly. His face went upward once more to look at her softly. "Rei-chan... what do you want?" "You, Shin-chan." She smiled lightly, blushing some as well. Also blushing, Shinji sat up next to Rei, smiling. "Is there a problem with that?" Rei questioned, still laying as she was on the bed. Shinji slowly shook his head. "I was just admiring you." He turned on the bed to face her, placing her hands near his neck as he worked on untying the red bow around her neck. "I believe that there is a disparity here..." Shinji stopped in fear of taking her words incorrectly. "What is it Rei-chan?" "Nothing to be worried about. You simply have more cloth right now." She smiled slightly. Shinji proceeded to turn red and sigh; probably the best choice for all involved. As the bow ends became loose in his hands, he pulled and slipped it out of her collar, reaching over the bed and placing it with the other clothing. "It _is_ truth..." Rei rebuked mock-defensively. "I'm sure you'll devise a way to change that, if it bothers you." He grinned nervously, taking a vote of confidence in himself as he reached for her again, starting to unbutton her shirt from the collar. He succeeded to fumble with the buttons nervously. "It bothers me, but I will endure... for a short time," she replied mock-seriously. "I'm in trouble..." he replied in mock-fear, smiling slightly. He continued to fumble with the buttons, slowly learning that keeping one's hands steady helps to unbutton a shirt. Fully aware of Shinji's complications, Rei brushed his right cheek lightly with the palm of her left hand. Seeming to relax under her touch, Shinji finished unbuttoning her shirt, leaving it closed on her torso once he had completed the task. "You're getting better at that, Shinji." Rei chuckled lightly. "Well... I've had practice with you today." He smiled. "You have, at that." Rei sat up, letting the shirt fall open freely, apparently unaware of Shinji's increasing blush as she shrugged it off, tossing it with the pile of clothes. Shinji's eyes reflexively wandered up from her bare legs to her bare stomach, trying hard not to look at what remained clothed. His problems were solved as she pulled him down beside her again. "We're fairly even now," Shinji said softly, keeping his eyes directed on hers. Losing himself in pools of red was more preferable than losing himself in other places. "One would tend to disagree," Rei replied. "Two pieces of clothing each. And... you have something rather... ummm... unique, to show." Shinji turned red at the thought of it. Thought became reality as Rei managed to singlehandedly disengage her bra, tossing it nonchalantly on the growing pile. "I believe, dear Shinji, that you may be in need of a good optometrist." Shinji's eyes widened quickly, inhaling a quick breath and exhaling an even quicker gasp. His gaze was instinctively locked on the shapes and curves of her now unveiled breasts. This was no comparison to the previous night when he was for the most part ignoring and consciously unaware of her state of undress for fear of sanity and other more personal threats. His eyes remained locked in place as he traced the mounded flesh without so much as a blink; the round formation of her breasts, the valley between them where they separated, the darkened aureola at their centers, the protrusion of a nipple at the very center of each. It was extremely inviting, explaining why his eyes refused to budge. "It is your advantage again, Shinji-chan." She smiled slightly, admiring the view of his face and its utter lack of apparent consciousness. Shinji was still gazing at her soft bosom. He was still in a state of semi-shock at what Rei had just done. Excluding the previous night and other brief work-related exposures from the past, Shinji was still mesmerized in his first real exposure to the uniqueness of a female body. "This is unfair, Shin-chan," Rei commented in mock-anger, winking so he'd catch on that she wasn't entirely serious. The words quickly registered with his muddled mind. His gaze shot up, face burning red. "Yes, well... hmmm..." He rather nervously slipped off his pants, removing his 'advantage' on the situation in the process, leaving the two of them in their undergarments and each other's company. Apparently satisfied, Rei pulled him down smoothly on top of her, pressing a hard kiss hard against his lips, intent on leaving them as they were. Shinji was back into shock as the nudity contacting every inch of his body registered with his nerves. Nonetheless, his eyes fell closed as he kissed her back with the same strong intensity. 'This feeling...so powerful,' Rei thought. Shinji's hands crept to her shoulders, clasping them. His breathing could be heard through their soft, muffled gasps. Rei's arms circled around Shinji's waist, beginning to caress the skin gently with her hands, palm to fingertip. Her lips continued to shift. Shinji blushed red as the thought of having a mostly-nude female pressing softly into him registered. 'Why is this so, relaxing?' He concentrated on the warmth emanating from the various parts of her body, and how their touch felt against him. His breathing quickened as his hands squeezed her. 'So good. I wonder how this feels to her?' "Shinji..." Rei whispered, breaking the kiss, but nothing else, "down half an inch, please." Shinji blinked, then resumed his blush. "A... all right..." He took a breath, trying to keep his hands steady as he brought them downward, slipping them over her breasts. Shinji seemed to freeze again. "That is... pleasant..." Rei whispered, clenching his waist as she shivered under the sudden touch. "Though not what I meant." Shinji turned Unit-Two-red. "Sorry!" he snapped quickly. His hands shot back to her shoulders, face remaining flushed. "Then what?" "First," Rei began in a take-charge manner, "the hands go back where they were. Then _you_ move down half an inch." "That was sudden." He grinned nervously, then slid down her body about half an inch, tentatively sliding her hands down, all the more nervously, completely encompassing her breasts. 'Is this really happening?' "Thank you, Shinji-chan... that was beginning to pain." She smiled slightly. 'This did not feel the same the other time. The sensation is... pleasant, now.' "What?" "Please, figure it out." Shinji blinked, then nearly passed out from the realization. "T-That's... embarrassing. I can't really... err..." "It's... normal. But it still hurt." She smiled reassuringly. Shinji nodded slightly, still looking somewhat embarrassed. He removed his hands from Rei's chest, apparently lost in thought. His gaze wandered to her smiling face. She absentmindedly traced a finger around the small of Shinji's back the while, eyes intent on his face. She noticed his gaze wandering down to her chest again. An odd look of intent interest and confusion slowly crossed his face. "Rei-chan?" Silence met him. "May... I..." "Yes," she replied softly, her finger never breaking speed in the path it was tracing. Shinji blinked, then swallowed softly as he nodded. He tentatively clasped his left hand over her right breast. Playing his notions by ear, he pressed down softly on the warm flesh. It molded itself in his hand, filling it fully, taking shape around his fingers. He blinked as Rei's contented sigh filled his ears, her hands clasping over his back. His hand remained in that position as he once more fell into an entranced state. He shook himself out of it, his eyes opening slightly more and lips curling upward as he stroked the flesh with his hand, from her mid-chest where it started, brushing over the pure skin, over an instinctively hardening nipple, over more pure skin, until it slid off the rounded edge. Rei's sigh and squeezing of his back quickly convinced him to repeat the action at a gentle yet continuous rate. "That time..." Shinji spoke, reminiscing on an old memory similar to the situation the two were in, "I hadn't meant for that to happen..." "Shinji, what is past is past. I do not hold that against you. It is unimportant." She leaned her head upward and kissed his forehead softly, laying it back down on the pillow once she had done so. "I know. I just wanted to say it to you..." Rei suddenly moaned softly and reflexively clutched Shinji against her, startling Shinji. Rei was content with not releasing her grip on him. Shinji's breath resumed as he came to enjoy the feeling of her holding him. His hand continued its stroking motion. "Do you like this Rei-chan?" Rei offered another soft moan in reply, closing her eyes as her lips parted open slightly, breathing softly. "Good... I... I want you to be happy." On a split-second decision, he gave her breast a squeeze, the flesh molding nicely into his hand. Rei gasped, opening her eyes. She squeezed back. "That's nice," he commented, quickly squeezing her again, nuzzling her shoulder. Rei's reaction was similar; she squeezed him once more. However, rather than nuzzle his shoulder, she proceeded to grip him tightly and drag him up half an inch, shivering and soundly kissing him on the mouth in quick session. Shinji continued to alternate between stroking and squeezing her breast, his hand becoming warmer as it caused friction against her skin. He kissed Rei in response, sighing quietly as they broke. Rei smiled again, speaking softly as she looked directly into Shinji's eyes. "You have become no softer." Shinji's complexion was continuously being flushed red. He never halted his actions. "Then... why?" "As... a reminder... And so I don't have to crane my neck every time I want to kiss you." Shinji smiled slightly through his blush. He momentarily debated a thought in his mind before bringing his right hand down from her shoulder, sliding it on top of her left breast, and started giving it the same treatment as her right. He quickly pressed her lips to hers once more, unexpectedly cutting off a sharp cry of pleasure from Rei which ended up reverberating inside his mouth. Shinji didn't stop, choosing to kiss her even more intensively after that cry as they became subdued in the passionate exchange. One of Rei's hands quickly moved to the back of his head, holding him into the kiss. Shinji trembled slightly as the hand contacted his head, giving him a sudden feeling of pure happiness. Rei periodically moaned softly, rubbing her free hand across Shinji's back. Shinji disengaged from her mouth as he moved down the side of her face, nuzzling her neck, kissing it softly. Rei's moans were becoming more audible, though an obviously concerted effort was being made on her part to mute them. Less and less influenced by fear and uncertainty, Shinji kissed her neck with a little more intensity, slowly moving to her shoulders to lay his lips upon. Rei's first conscious thought was to use the hand on his head to guide it gently down from her shoulder, drawing it slowly to her left breast. Shinji followed the guide of her hand, not completely aware of what was happening until he found himself sliding the hand on her breast down to her hip, leaving it clasped there, giving it a soft squeeze. Shinji blinked rapidly as he found himself eye to chest. He gazed quickly up at Rei, looking somewhat confused. "I would not have put it there for no purpose, Shinji-chan," Rei said straight-forwardly. Shinji smiled. "Everything has a purpose." His gaze fell on her chest again. For a few moments, he did nothing but stare, contemplating in his mind. A determined look crossed his face. He bent his head forward, giving the flattened skin of her chest, slowly working his way downward until his lips trailed into much softer territory, pressing against the skin of her left breast. He blushed immediately, yet did not falter, nor give any indication that he intended to, as his lips buried themselves in her breast. Rei sighed softly again, absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair once. Shinji began to slide his hand across her hip, his lips slowly progressing down her breast, blinking quickly as they came in contact with her aureola. Rei shivered slightly at the touch. "Don't... stop." Shinji raised his head for a moment. "Not if it gives you pleasure, Rei-chan." A split-second decision was made as his lips trailed downward a bit further, kissing her nipple firmly. His left hand freely fondled her right breast, as his right hand continued to caress her hip. Rei shuddered convulsively with each brush against her lips, be it by hand or by mouth. She expressed her pleasureful state by moaning it aloud. It was at that moment that Shinji suffered a momentary backbone and male hormone attack. His lips clamped onto her breast, drawing the skin into his mouth, sucking it in. The hand on her hip shifted onto her stomach, caressing it. In response, Rei shivered and slid her free hand from his back down to squeeze his posterior firmly. Shinji moaned softly, his lips never releasing from their position. The surprised look on his face quickly disappeared as his eyes focussed on her upper breast. He took less skin into his mouth, choosing to draw in her nipple, suckling it firmly as his tongue rolled over and around the hardened protrusion. His breathing quickened, the hot air from his nostrils blowing against her bosom. The hand which covered her other breast quickly took to rubbing its center, focussing on the hardened object, pressing it down softly with his fingers. Rei moaned sharply, utterly taken by surprise. Her hand slipped under his underpants and onto his behind, squeezing firmly once more. Her breathing was becoming more fast-paced and somewhat more heavy as she let out another moan. She squeezed again as Shinji's hands and Shinji's tongue worked their way upon her body. Shinji's moments of surprise were quickly overcome and accepted. His hand glided from her stomach, to her waist, to her side. "Right," Rei whispered simply. Shinji broke for but a quick moment to utter his agreeing "Yes." Rather than his lips, Shinji's tongue replaced itself on her breast, gently licking her nipple. Rei gasped and clenched him again, quickly arising the thought in Shinji's mind that this was a good idea and proceeded to do it once more before returning to his prior suckling. His hand freely made its way underneath her back, resting unmoving on her waistline. "If it is in the way... remove it," Rei commanded softly, smiling shyly as she subtly shifted her body against his, thoroughly catching him off guard as he nearly choked on her, his hips quickly jerking upward from the touch. Not that that made any difference, as Rei quickly pressed him down again, holding him in place as she shifted again, causing the boy to gasp softly at the sensitive spread of warmth around him, shivering pleasurably from the brushing skin. He gave her aureola a final lick as his head rose to look up at her, doing his best to maintain self-control. "I'm willing to wait on that... when we can be alone, with no one else... Just us..." "We still have better than a full hour. You _will_ continue, Shinji-chan." Her tone indicated that he most certainly would, otherwise finding himself most regretful if he were to choose not to comply. "I never said I would stop," he countered, starting to grin. "Just the last point, that will be saved... I want to make that promise to you Rei-chan." "That promise?" she asked softly. Shinji rolled onto his side, taking Rei with him in the process as the two landed on their sides, still holding each other. His voice softened, eyes seeming to grow somewhat distant. "Earlier, I said that one day we'd have just to ourselves, without any problems... any disturbances... just us. To live a life. I want to keep that for that day... for us." He blinked, blushing slightly. "...Will you let me make that promise?" "Your resolve is... admirable. Even should I disallow... I believe you would keep your promise anyway. That is... special about you, Shinji." "...Th... thank you, Rei-chan." He smiled quickly, growing less tense. "Like I said... I'm looking forward to it." "I will see that it comes soon," Rei condoned. 'Even if I must convince Aida-kun to rewrite the testing schedules for us.' An uncharacteristic deviant grin crossed her face. Shinji looked somewhat worried. "I'm sure that certain people would be happy to help." "Either they will accommodate, or I will see that Commander Ikari forces them to." Rei came as close as she could to a haughty smirk without actually smirking. "That would be... interesting," Shinji laughed. "Do you think me incapable of it?" Rei asked quickly. "No... I think you'd probably end up controlling the agency by frightening him." He chuckled softly. 'Did I offend her?' "I would not want... that. It would leave us no time for each other." "We're young... the expression is that we have all the time in the world, but who knows how much time the world has... so we make the time, one way or another." He smiled softly. 'I think.' "I believe that the world's time is very much in our hands right now." She smiled briefly before she kissed his lips softly, intentionally shifting her body against his again. "Do you not?" Shinji twitched quickly, a soft moan escaping him. "Y-Yes." He quickly covered himself with a smile. "And so's ours. We aren't finished, are we?" Rei's message was dead serious, though a small smile played upon her lips. "Hell no." Shinji sweatdropped immediately. He was suddenly filled with a strong notion of fear. Rei continued to softly shift her body, moaning slightly as she did so. She quickly leaned her forward, taking Shinji into a deep kiss. Shinji's moans mirrored Rei's as their bodies rubbed together, the two having produced enough heat by this point to melt what remained of Antarctica. He traced his hands across her waist line. The soft female sounds continued as did Rei's shifting, hands clasping his back. Shinji's hand regained sensation on her breast, returning to a soft stroking motion. Their deep embrace broke as Rei's lips traced along his cheek, moving slowly down his chin, kissing a slow, soft trail along his neck. Shinji's nose became buried in Rei's blue hair, softly taking in its scent. 'Why is this... so comfortable?' "Because it is right." Rei was smiling up at him. Shinji's tone was soft. "Either you're psychic... or we have the same questions, and the same answers." "Hmmm?" Rei murmured as she nuzzled his cheek. Shinji brought his hand up from her chest to the back of her head, stroking her hair softly between his fingers. Were it at all possible for a human to sound similar to a purring cat, it was happening there and then, courtesy of Rei Ayanami. "Ah... You're..." Shinji reddened quickly. "I'm... what?" she said, pulling her head back to look into him. "Very... interesting." "Oh, you..." She covered his lips with her own, smiling all the while. Shinji sighed contentedly, allowing the hand on her head to glide down the length of her back, coming to squeeze the small of her back gently. Rei, meanwhile, was content in kissing Shinji's lips, and in pressing her hands gently against his chest. Hands resting just north of her backside, Shinji's hands pressed gently into her back as she continued to kiss him. 'Why would Katsuragi-san be forced to scold him for his grades? He is a quick study...' Rei mentally reasoned, noting as Shinji slowly repeated his doings. She smiled in his view, voicing her thought to him. "Well, you've been taking enough initiative tonight..." "Well, if I didn't, it never would get done," Rei deduced slightly mockingly, quickly smiling in her stead. Shinji smiled nervously. "Well, there's only a few things that I can prove you wrong with." Without needing to think about it, he quickly moved in to kiss her lips, sliding his hand down and onto her backside, remaining on top of the cotton material covering it. Rei's eyes widened in mock-shock. "Tricky, Shinji-chan." Shinji's other hand soon followed, joining his first on the other half of her posterior. "I leave this up to you." Mentally reviewing the situation, he blushed lightly as he realized just what he had done, and how quickly it had come. "Up to me?" Rei questioned, obviously not intending to scold him. "You asked for removal." He grinned quickly. "Do you still want that?" "I am not so fickle as to change my mind that quickly, Shin-chan." She smirked, only to have it wiped off her face a moment later but a very hard kiss from Shinji. For the first time, Rei looked genuinely shocked. He disengaged slowly, smiling softly at her. Rei blinked in surprise, but soon followed in her former manner, voice gentle in tone. "Are you going to follow through, or do you intend to stare at me all night?" "I'm satisfied with just talking to you." He smiled, but sat up, kneeling on the bed next to her as she returned to laying on her back. "I am glad." She smiled softly. "I would not... feel right... giving myself to someone who did not enjoy talking with me." Shinji smiled calmly, though at looking down at her, was internally far more nervous. 'This is... something I never imagined doing. Kissing girls... wasn't a _large_ thought, much less this...' His face began to redden softly as he gaze at her, letting the thoughts roll through his mind. Inhaling a small breath, Shinji summoned his courage and placed his hands on her hips. Slipping a finger into each side of the waistband of her panties, he proceeded to tug them downward, gently slipping them down the length of her legs. Rei's complexion reddened visibly, despite the fact that it _was_ what she had asked for. Shinji slipped the white cloth off her feet and quickly dropped them off the bed with the pile of clothing. He didn't even glimpse at what he had uncovered as his gaze quickly snapped to another point of the room, looking away from her bare body and blushing face. "You are turning red, Shinji-chan." She smiled despite her own blush. Indeed, Shinji was slowly turning red. "You know why... because you're doing the same. It's more comfortable that way." He smiled, turning his head to direct his gaze at her face. "You do not cover the truth well, Shinji." She chuckled softly. Shinji took that the wrong way. His face flushed beet-red as he pulled his legs up to his chest in sheer embarrassment. Rei quirked an eyebrow, not completely understanding his reaction. Shinji spoke quietly, as looking down at the bed as he kept his legs clasped to himself. "Last time I was like this, you said not to show up to work looking like that. Misato would kill many times over now, since it's a lot different..." "...Oh." Shinji's legs slipped off the side of the bed. In his state of embarrassment, he refrained from turning to face her, eyes already shut. With a soft breath, Rei sat up and latched herself to him from behind, leaning her head against his neck, hot air blowing gently against it as she breathed. Shinji's eyes opened slightly, turning his head halfway toward her. "Is it physically possible to turn a deeper shade of red, Shinji?" Rei smiled comfortingly at him. His skin slowly toned down to a more standard skin colour. "I might go unconscious if I do." He slowly relaxed under Rei's hold, allowing his tensions and worries to dissipate within him. Rei whispered softly in his ear. "I will not hold this advantage against you, Shin-chan," she suggested. Shinji blinked, seeming somewhat surprised. "You... thank you." He smiled slightly, but soon frowned. "It's still uncomfortable." "Restraint never is comfortable... especially self-placed." "Yes, I understand... eventually I will have to overcome that though... considering..." He let the sentence trail; the continuation was fairly obvious. "Considering that I will see to that end personally." She smiled slightly, giving him a hug in her embrace. "Are you comfortable... otherwise?" Shinji took her hands and placed them behind them, hooking them around her hips, holding her to him. "Yes..." Shinji sighed softly. 'She's much stronger than I am.' Rei gave him a slight squeeze and a soft kiss on his neck. Shinji responded by smiling softly as he contemplated his situation. Rei slid her arms up to wrap around his chest, then shifted from her kneeling position to sit straight on the bed, kicking her legs upward to wrap around his waist; a motion which was successfully initiated and completed. Shinji inhaled sharply as his nerves finally relayed the information of Rei pressing fully into him from behind. "You've tensed up, Shin-chan," Rei observed softly. "H-Have I?" Shinji asked, voice pitched higher than normal. Rei nodded. "You have." "It's a very... new experience." He swallowed forcefully. "Not exactly uncomfortable... not at all uncomfortable really..." Rei chuckled softly. "Then I have no intention of moving." 'Asuka would have a fit... a _really_BIG_ fit,' Shinji thought. "No?" "No." "This isn't... really fair... on my part." His hands traveled slowly down to his own waist. "How do you come to that conclusion?" Rei questioned. "I'm at an advantage... or perhaps, a disadvantage." "How so?" "Clothing, Rei." Rei laughed softly, a sound that Shinji was unused to, yet apparently enjoyed. "Then quit talking about it and act instead... silly." Her soft laughter continued in the following moments. "...You're preventing me from acting." Shinji's hands slowly went to the calves of her legs wrapped around his midsection, rubbing them gently as he gained contact with them. In a steady movement, Rei's legs came away from his midsection, extending them until her knees brushed against his arms. Hooking her feet into the waistband of his underpants, she extended her legs forward, taking his garment down the legs, off his feet and to the floor, never missing a beat. Her legs rested open around his body, pressing against his. "Is that better?" Shinji blinked in surprise at his sudden state of nakedness, matching Rei's. The majority of the surprise came from the realization of what had just happened. Despite the urge to tense up, he found himself entering a new state of relaxation. "...Yes, actually." He couldn't hold a smile from his face as he placed a hand on the knee of each of her extended legs. Legs which were quickly wrapped around him once more as Rei kissed his neck softly. Shinji sighed contentedly, somewhat confused, but overall feeling pleasant. "Is this good for you?" Rei whispered softly. "Yes," Shinji replied through soft breath. "And for you?" "Always." "Good..." He murmured softly as Rei held herself to him, placing another soft kiss on his neck. His ocean of calmness was interrupted as he felt an odd sensation below the small of his back. He blinked, turning red for a few moments as he stroked Rei's legs, letting the sensation register with him. "...Ummm..." "Yes?" "You feel soft Rei-chan... and also... wet." "That is... a new feeling," Rei replied, still intent on remaining closely linked to him. "Is it... a nice feeling? Or... what?" Shinji's expression was a mixture of confusion and intrigue and downright nervousness, though none could be seen by the room's only other occupant. "A feeling of... longing," Rei replied as she shifted her legs unconsciously, a side-effect of her current state of experience. "It is... intriguing." "Longing?" His own concealed situation quickly allowed for Shinji to make the realization on his own. "I... see... Much the same..." "Much the same as?" "Me." He smiled softly, though she probably couldn't see. "I would ask you to turn so I could see your face, but I will not ask you to break your promise." Her lips curled up uniformly, though he most likely could not see as well. "My promise... won't keep me from looking at you Rei." Breathing softly, he pulled her legs away from his stomach, resting them outside his. He flipped around, turning onto his pelvis, supporting himself with his arms as he looked at her face. "Well considered, though I would prefer to hold you." Shinji obligingly crawled forward, taking hold of her shoulders as he locked them into a kiss. Weight leaning in her direction, they fell down to the bed's surface, rolling softly until she lay atop him. Rei's arms locked around him as they continued to kiss, Shinji's breath becoming more heavy as his hands pressed softly against her shoulder blades. "You _are_ getting better at this, Shinji." He squeezed her shoulder blades downward in response. 'I believe Kaji-san would faint,' Rei noted mentally. Shinji nuzzled her nose, sliding his hands down her back to rest just above its center, squeezing her gently once more. "I doubt it would do to allow the adults see this, Shinji-chan. I do not believe we have much time left." "We still have over two hours Rei-chan... we need sleep... but..." He smiled warmly. "I didn't become brave to stop this suddenly." "You... confuse, Shinji," Rei replied. He chuckled softly in response. "I'm not... for once." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "I'm just saying that I'm ready to continue a bit longer... if you would like that." "I just want... to make sure that you do not... lose track of time." Shinji blushed quickly. "Now who's insinuating?" "I made no promise not to." A faint smile traced her lips. "I'll carry this image until the day I die... which will be at a point so distant in time that I can't even think of it." "I intend to give you enough memories that you will wish you'd taken Kensuke up on that offer for his camera." She blushed softly, a whole-hearted grin becoming her features. Shinji's eyes widened very quickly. "...Oh my..." His cheeks reddened lightly. "That was beyond insinuation..." "You are correct. It was truth." She quickly followed up with a deep kiss which most likely could have suffocated a person were they not expecting. Without any other choice, not that it would have mattered, Shinji attempted the same suffocation method on the blue-haired female as his hands slid further down her back, wrapping around her hips as he pressed her down tightly to him. Rei's kisses began trailing down his neck again, applying a slight nibbling effect in the process. Shinji hummed softly to himself as he smiled. "I'll ask him for it another time." "Ask who for what?" Her lips soon returned to their work. "Kensuke. Memories." Squeeze. "Ah, yes." She rubbed his shoulders gently, smiling into his neck as she felt one of his hands encompass her backside. "This is... fun, Shin-chan." "Yes... it's interesting, to explore..." "Many might think you mean to break your promise, Shinji-kun." She grinned suddenly. "I am not one, however." "Well, there aren't many people here..." He grinned. "Aside from that, I mean to hold my words in check..." He slowly began stroking her posterior in response, acknowledged by the soft breath which began to flow across his neck. "No, I believe that your words will hold _you_ in check." Her grip on his shoulders momentarily tightened as she felt a sudden squeeze on her behind. "You agree, Shinji?" "I still have other means at my disposal." He smiled as his free hand joined his preoccupied one in the same action in the same location. "Not if I tie you up and leave you here under pretenses that you're sick." "Only one problem with that." "That being?" "I won't let you leave, because I know you don't want to." "Then when Ryouji-san returns, we will tell him that." She smiled softly. "I don't think I could keep up with what you have in mind." He blushed slightly. Apparently, forwardness was becoming more natural for the both of them. "Don't worry, Rei-chan. I'm saying I won't let you leave me if you don't want to leave... this room... well... I'd rather stay as well." He ended his confusion with a soft chuckle and a soft brush of his lips. "If you are there... that is where I will go. It is enough." His hands took a firmer grip of her behind, pushing her up his body about half an inch. She rested her head down on his shoulder, reveling in silence as he nuzzled the intersection of her neck and shoulder, caressing her gently. "You seem to be keeping up just fine," she whispered softly, kissing his neck gently. Shinji placed a single kiss on her, then continued to nuzzle her softly. His right hand glided slowly up and around her fragile skin, over each distinguishable curve as it encompassed her left breast. He stroked it gently, nose still buried just above her collarbone. Rei murmured softly, mind becoming focussed on the sensations flowing through her body with each caress of his hands, with each breath against her neck, the warmth of the body underneath her warming her own to the point of a trace glistening moisture of sweat forming between them. 'He insists on making me feel... loved... even if he does not realize it.' Her thoughts were quickly complemented by Shinji softly turning her resting head, once more taking in the scent of her hair as he kissed her neck. Rei moaned softly into the air, eyes opening slowly. "I am in your debt." Shinji pulled his head from her shoulder to rest it on the pillow, looking up into her eyes as he felt the blue wisps of her hair draw across his cheek. "Why?" "You make me feel loved... even if you do not admit it or understand it." She smiled, but it was neither small, nor hidden. It was a warm smile, one which stretched across her face. Her lips parted, displaying two rows of white teeth. Her cheeks shined faintly with natural blush. Her eyelids were closed only a fraction of the way, red eyes shining softly in the moonlit room, almost seeming to glow, perhaps sparkle with their owner's mood. Her blue strands hung loosely downward and by her cheeks. Shinji stared awe-struck at Rei. He had never seen such emotion in her features, such happiness in her words, such completeness in Rei Ayanami. A new experience, for the first time. His lips struggled to move, forcefully emitting a single word, a single question. "...Loved?" "Yes." Shinji breathed quietly for a few moments, then in one swift movement wrapped Rei up in his arms and held her to him with a perfect intensity, eyes closed. His eyes twitched slightly. Rei gasped softly, the same beautiful smile and brightness shining in her eyes never leaving her face. "...Not only do you cause me to feel that... but you excel at it." She kissed him softly, an extended embrace, unwilling to depart from the warmth until he slowly pulled away, a stunned look on his face. "Rei..." He fell back into the embrace, lips trembling slightly, stopping suddenly. "Before..." He remained silent, swallowing forcefully as his eyes slowly watered. "Before you said... 'I love _him_, and I will not lose that'..." Rei nodded. "I did." "Was that... truth?" "...It was." Rei immediately drowned him in a kiss. Shinji drowned. And that is how it was. Rei broke the kiss, staring into his eyes, waiting on an answer from the young man. Any words, any thoughts, were what she sought. "I... I've never heard those words... except when I was young..." His voice sounded as if it were on the verge of cracking, yet it never did. "Never heard them... before now... I..." "Emotions that I have felt, that I feel, now... Fear, hope, despair... and love." "I..." He felt a tear escape his watering eyes, yet kept his voice steady, speaking with resolve; pure confidence. "I'll make you feel loved... I will... because I... I love you." Rei's arms instinctively wrapped around Shinji tightly at the sound of his voice, at the sound of those words. Much like her counterpart, tears clouded her eyes. "I say... that I want..." Her breath grew ragged as she was attacked by the recognition of a powerful "...To become... one with you... body, mind... and soul... and I mean... I love... you." She buried her face in Shinji's shoulder. The two remained in an entity of streaming tears, and overpowering emotion. New words, and new realization remained with them; the knowledge of being loved was a new experience for them both. "Shinji..." Rei whispered. "Promise me... that whatever happens, you will not run away." "...Never... never will run from you. I won't... I promise that to you... with my all. As you would say... hell no." He lapsed into a smile as his tears rolled down his cheeks, dampening her hair. Rei laughed through her tears, her grasp on Shinji tightening. "Thank you, Shinji-chan." "You know... that I am grateful for what you give me. I would never turn that away... because I want to do the same for you." "You said once... that I was strong. I believe that you are... stronger." "And I believe that you are... So... together..." The two fell into a soft kiss, eyes opened, tears disappearing, arms still wrapped around each other's backs. Rei rubbed his softly, eyes alight, looking mischievous if it were at all possible. He gripped hers in response, gazing back quietly. With a sudden movement, Rei reached to the side, snagging Shinji's blanket and threw it over them. She smiled softly at him, eyes bursting with life. "Now we may lose track of time in private." "Of course, no one else has a say to begin with." He smiled in return as Rei took him into another kiss, hands slowly making their way down each others backs. "What was that, Shinji-kun?" a voice from the doorway asked. Shinji's hands froze on Rei's back. The boy was in total shock. A quick glance out of the side of his eye quickly formed his high-pitched response. "Good night Misato-san!" "That wasn't what _I_ heard," a second voice commented. Rei's hands, being not only under the blanket, but also under Shinji, had free reign in the darkness. She merely hugged herself to him, speaking in a quiet tone. "Good night Akagi-san. No one has a say in what we'll be doing in two hours, correct?" "Like hell we don't," came Misato and Ritsuko's flat reply. "I thought..." Shinji started. "That's right. We'll be going to Terminal Dogma in two hours. It appears that they have forgotten already." Rei shrugged, apparently a comfortable maneuver for the both of them in their embrace. "That is _not_ what I was referring to!" Ritsuko snapped. "I was," Rei replied firmly, yet softly. "Good night." "No one said we were leaving," Misato replied just as firmly. "Kaji-san said he had some past experiences he wished to discuss with you," Shinji commented rather off-hand, coughing slightly. "Let us sleep please, especially if you plan on dragging us out of bed at one in the morning! Good night!" He finished with finalizing firmness. "Oh, puh-leeze..." Misato scoffed. "Kaji can chat with Maya-chan for all I care. You two, however, have no intention of getting _any_ sleep... or didn't Kaji-_chan_ tell you the whole story?" "Would you be quiet and let us sleep please!" both Children exclaimed in very different tones. "I might believe you if you both weren't blushing so heavily I can see it with this little light." Misato finished her analysis with a smirk. Shinji blushed in the end. Rei had already closed her eyes and rested her head next to Shinji's. Ritsuko was the next to speak, voice quite soft, but sounding extremely amused. "Oh, and Shinji-kun? May I ask what a complete set of women's clothing, including undergarments, are doing piled on your floor?" She smirked as well, quickly adding, "A set for a male as well." "You forgot about last night already? Well, you were... well... drunk, so I understand. Good night." He turned his head slightly to the left in the direction of Rei's head, eyes also closed. "Too slow, Shinji-kun. I came in here to get those for the wash today, but they were already gone." Both Children were rather ignoring her by this point. "Okay, fine," Ritsuko chided. "It's your asses on the table when Commander Ikari sets for dinner, not mine." Her miniature spiel concluded with a dark chuckle. Shinji's voice suddenly filled with anger. "You're the one who's been giving him your a--" "Too dark, Shin-chan," Rei commented softly, cutting him off. Nonetheless, Shinji's comment succeeded in mentally igniting and detonating Ritsuko. "What was that, you little bastard!?!" she screeched. "Shinji's parents were married. He is not an illegitimate son," Rei concluded. "Calm down Ritsuko!" Misato eased. "It's a _figure_ of _speech_, Rei!" Ritsuko struck the side of the door, growling softly. "I have half a mind to come over there and knock some sense into that bloody A.E. mind of yours!" Rei blinked. Her grip on Shinji suddenly tightened. Shinji no longer gave one damn about what Ritsuko was saying anymore, in a pleasant manner at least. His limit had been reached as he protectively tightened his hold on Rei. "I don't know what that is... but back off." "My, aren't we brave... defending what we don't understand." Ritsuko's ensuing laughter was most unnerving, frightening in fact. Ritsuko's current state of sanity was highly questionable. "Have fun, Children. I doubt you'll get much more of it." She turned away from the scene in the bedroom, leaving Misato standing alone in the doorway. Misato stared in shock as Ritsuko disappeared. Letting her gaze trail for a few moments, she slid the door to the room fully open and stepped in. "Come to raise more hell here, Misato-_san_?" Shinji inquired darkly. His grip on Rei never weakened. "...She's being a bitch, and you know that," Misato stated firmly, gaze trailing to the doorway. "God damn... what happened to her?" "Probably some old regrets." He smirked, kissing Rei lightly for emphasis. "Why Shinji? Just the same that you regret I'm not in there with you right now?" "Get real, Misato," Shinji muttered, failing to refer to Misato with his usual honorific of 'san'. "That has _nothing_to_do_with_this_!" 'And what the hell is A.E. anyway?' he added mentally. "Can't you just leave us in peace for once? Can't you?!" "I want to, but I want you to understand something," Misato responded softly, gaze focussing on the faces of both youths. "Both of you." "What's that?" Shinji chided. "That you're here to keep an eagle's eye on us to make sure we don't misbehave? Face it, Misato... we're not who we were anymore, and the world's gonna have to accept that." Misato turned from her position in the room, legs moving slowly toward the door. "No, it isn't." She shook her head. "It's that whatever happens, I'm always going to be on your side." Shinji was literally left gaping. "You think you're different because of something you do, but you're the same person. You are who you are; that is what makes a person. Look at me however you want, but understand... that I won't let anything happen to any of you. I care about you all too much to see something like that happen." Shinji's eyes slowly fell. There was an extended silence, no one moving for sometime. When Shinji finally spoke, his voice was much softer than before. "It sounds funny... but I keep hearing that phrase today. Sorry, for jumping the gun, Misato-san... but after half of what Kaji-san told us... I expected to have to fight tooth and nail to keep what I've gained." "Katsuragi-san..." Rei emitted quietly. "I am... grateful, to know that." "If Kaji ever tells you anything too detailed, I'll personally shoot him where it will make him no longer capable of doing what he describes to you." The sadistic grin which had formed on Misato's face quickly disappeared. "But, I said I'd protect you as best I can... that doesn't always mean I will be able to. Do you understand?" "I've lived long enough on my own to take care of myself... even if I don't like to admit it sometimes." A small smile at last formed on Shinji's face, eliminating the previous tension from the air. "Keeping an eye on one more shouldn't be too much of a challenge." "I have been protecting him... for a long time. I will not... fail... now." The determination in Rei's gaze was powerful, despite her soft look. Misato's smile was very soft, yet very true. "We'll continue this talk tomorrow. Just remember that you aren't alone... you have each other, you have friends, and you have me. Please get some sleep... we only have a couple of hours before we have to go." "I was about to mention just that. Good night, Misato-san... soon to be good morning." "Yes, Katsuragi-san," Rei continued. "Good... night." Misato smiled softly as she slipped out the door, sliding it closed in her wake. The unusually graceful figure could easily have been mistaken for a long-time friend of many years. The simple actions could even have been thought of as that of someone who cared deeply for their cause, as it was. Perhaps, a mother. "...They do not understand," Rei stated softly. Shinji remained silent, lost in thought. "I do believe we will be free from interruptions now." Misato's words resounded through Shinji's mind. 'Just remember that you aren't alone... you have each other, you have your friends, and you have me.' He shook his head softly from side to side, turning his gaze to Rei. "At least... she's trying." Rei nodded, resting in thought as he kissed her softly on the lips, choosing to hug her to him. 'I can not let him... run away.' "We have her, meaning she'll protect us... we know people, who'll be with us... we have each other... that means we protect each other. I... don't think you'd ever fail, Rei-chan." Rei's gaze bored fiercely into him, though her voice was as soft as cotton. "Where we are going... there are secrets... Secrets, so dark that even NERV buried them... But two they have unearthed." She rested her head against his shoulder. Shinji was successfully confused. "What secrets?" "Everything you don't already know... and some of what you think you do." Shinji turned his eyes away, voice nearing reproach. "Why... are things hidden?" "...Because... they are terror and sin so... so _pure_... that they contaminate everyone who contacts them." Shinji blinked quickly as he felt a tremor. "Rei... I can feel your hands... shaking..." "They shake... because I am..." "Rei..." Shinji started, interrupting her pause, "don't hurt yourself, if you don't want to." "...Because I am..." Rei sighed, ushering forth words which had never been in anyone's scenario to speak. "...A part... of those secrets." Shinji remained silent. As did Rei, trembling softly, eyes empty of any real presence as she gazed into the pillow, seemingly unaware. Shinji's eyes fell to the side, peripheral vision taking in the shape of Rei's hair. His hands fell to the bed, slowly enclosing hers. His own eyes fluttered closed for a moment, opening as he spoke softly, resiliently. "I won't leave you." Rei's body continued to shake softly, voice a whisper. "Don't make a promise... if you don't _know_ you can... or will... keep it." "If that situation comes up, then I won't." His gaze locked on her downcast eyes. "Oh, you..." An uncharacteristic and unexpected soft laughter befell Rei's voice. "I'm glad, you're not shaking. I promised I wouldn't leave you... I'll protect you... no matter what happens. You've done the same for me. It's... a..." "Bond. I know... who is stronger." Rei smiled slightly, slowly regaining her former relaxed stature. Shinji mirrored her look. "We'll argue forever about that... but we're strongest together." Rei nodded. "The statement still holds... 'United we stand...'" "Divided we fall... Together we fall differently." "But we always fall... that is constant." "But falling together is... well..." "It depends... on how the fall takes place." She turned his head slowly, brushing her lips across his cheek. 'Without question.' "And we cannot stand forever," Rei continued. "We've already fallen... one way. Tomorrow we stand again, and we fall... it's a cycle." Rei's voice fell soft once more. "Hopefully... tomorrow's fall will not try to break... my heart and soul." Instinctive knowledge acted upon Shinji at that moment. His hands fell away from hers, thrusting around her midsection to hold her tightly. "...Thank you, Shinji-chan." "I can't... won't..." "Can't or won't... what?" "You know... because you're the same..." Rei nodded softly. "I know... because we will be one." "We are... in some ways... and..." "...Will be in others," Rei finished. Shinji took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Peace retook the room once more. For a moment. "...I wonder if Aida-kun ever made his way back home," Rei instigated. "He ran out of here... a little while before you came," Shinji explained quietly. "He should be home right now..." His thoughts turned to the bespectacled boy, as his own words returned to haunt him. 'I have to talk to him... about what I said...' "About what you said?" Shinji was bug-eyed, voice completely unnerved, nearly a shriek. "How do you keep doing that?!" "I'm messing with your mind, Shinji-kun." She then subjected him to another brush of her lips. "You're... doing a good job at that." He coughed, trying to let that pass over him, eventually smiling as the humour of it settled in on him. "But, one thought being shared... it's a nice feeling." "But what were you needing to ask him? I can't pull thoughts out of your head at will, you know." "Just need to settle a misunderstanding. It's not serious... maybe, I wasn't making much sense at the time." "If you ever _do_ start making sense... I'll have to have you fixed." A secretive smile was the only revelation revealed. "So you don't believe anything I say makes any sense, eh? I'm hurt." He sniffed, closing his eyes, demeanor identical to that of Asuka in one of her more snobbish moods. "Then don't believe what I said to you before. It's still true." "Shinji Ikari, you never fight fair, do you?" Rei asked seriously. Shinji's eyes opened slowly, directing a smile at the albino girl. "That is... what I thought." Shinji's smile faded slowly. "I don't need to fight you. There's no reason... except to keep you. I guess, that's a draw though." "There is nothing for you to keep me against." Another of Rei's increasingly common beautiful, yet small smiles befell her lips. "I promise that." Shinji nodded slowly. "Know this, Shinji," Rei mentioned softly as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him softly. "You leave nothing wanting in me. "I'm happy I can do that for you... just like you do..." He squeezed her back gently. '...I...' "Then you know you will never have to fight to keep me," she whispered as she caressed his cheek. "Ever." Shinji smiled slowly, though he trembled for a moment. "Your... caution, is cute, Shinji." "I don't understand." "You tremble at my touch." A slight chuckle escaped her. "I tremble more at your words... because they're so comfortable. Because you are." "I am only that... what I am." "You're Rei Ayanami. So much describes who you are. Comfortable is one thing." "Yours... is another." "You give me yourself, I give you myself... we have each other." He chuckled softly. "I could gain nothing else from life... and be satisfied with that." She smiled, nose accidentally brushing against his. "One of the few things in life... which makes me want to live it." A mirror image of Rei's actions became Shinji. "A reason to live...?" "More... a reason to enjoy life. A reason why it's enjoyable." His voice suddenly lowered a few tones, sounding of regret, or perhaps embarrassment. "I didn't mean it... like this afternoon... when---" Rei cut him off, voice almost mocking. "If you don't take a care, Shin-chan, I will outlive you." He suddenly took a very tight, yet non-suffocating, grip on Rei at the sound of her words. "I'd rather hear that. Then again, we could just live forever like we are now." He smiled, thoughts dancing. 'That would be perfect.' "Between the moments," Rei whispered softly, "we will have all the time in the world." Shinji nodded slightly, smile still adorned freely on his face. "Though living forever... I think... I still fear that." "Then don't." "It is still not my choice to make." "When I know... why it's not... I'll help you make it yours." He held her protectively, though it truly made little difference. 'How come... she says she can't choose to die? Though... I don't want her to die... in pain...' "You will understand... soon enough." Shinji sighed softly, a quick blink crossing his face prior to focussing his pupils on her eyes. "...Rei?" "Yes?" was her soft response. Shinji's grip tightened as he lowered her and inch against his body, making her level with him once more. "What do you want right now?" "Let you take your own initiative for once tonight." She smiled, though a grin was fighting to take control as his hands roamed to the small of her back. "Going to pull something else out of that bag, huh? Very well." "It sounds like you're planning on taking some initiative of your own," he commented, nuzzling her cheek. "If you know what's good for you..." Rei started, faking a threat, "you'll just shut up and kiss me." "Quiet voice... speak softly... carry intimidating words." Shinji immediately shut up and kissed her softly on the mouth. 'Odd words.' Rei's eyes danced faintly, her hands gripping his shoulders. 'Only kissed once before...' Shinji thought to himself. 'Now it's becoming a habit that I don't want to break.' His thoughts slowly dissipated as his attention focussed on the situation at hand, or rather the situation of his hands gently stroking the small of her back. Apparently not a dissenter of initiative, Rei turned her legs down and under Shinji's, fairly immobilizing them. The slight opening of his eyes was the only visible response she encountered as she brushed a hand lightly through his hair, seeming to enjoy the upper hand for the moment. "I do not see how you can show much initiative at all down there, Shin-chan." Attempting to take initiative as per request, the immobilized boy took hold of her thighs and pulled. However, the lack of movement quickly confirmed that the state of immobilization was indeed effective, and as such, the attempt had failed. "Oops," Rei responded softly, slipping her legs out from under Shinji's. Shinji blinked, partially confused. "Oops?" "I asked you to do something which I had prevented... It was my mistake." He smiled nervously. "Mistakes happen." The brushing of lips resumed as his hands came to rest on her thighs for a second time, and a second time attempted an upward pulling motion, this time resulting in success. Success met by a soft female gasp as the female in question slipped a short distance up Shinji, her line of vision now met by the top of Shinji's head. It took all of two seconds for the shameful side of Shinji to realize that his former action had most likely been an error, as he now had an excellent view of her bosom. The poor boy tried his best to look up, but the action ended in futility; not because of a lack of effort on the part of the boy, but due to the fact that Rei was making no effort to hold herself up. Rei, all the more the opposite of the worrisome Shinji, was much less concerned with the situation. After the initial shock, her muscles went lax as they had been before. "What happened to initiative, Shin-chan?" she asked softly of the progressively reddening boy, a gentle laugh ending the inquiry as two hands came to rest on her thighs, sliding her up further enough for Shinji's lips to kiss just below her neck. "That is... nice." Shinji's hands roamed slowly, one taking position against her stomach, the other resting on the back of her left thigh. "Good. There's initiative." With that, he reiterated the kissing, on his own initiative. It was not to remain that way as Rei raised herself to her knees, placing one on either side of Shinji's stomach, leaning down once more to resume the temporarily interrupted kiss. Smiling softly, all the while. Privacy a relatively safe assumption, Shinji pulled the blanket which still covered them aside, exposing the two beings of skin and flesh to the moonlight and the room's still air. Kissing her back with a slight smile, his left hand ran smoothly from her stomach up to her right breast, softly enclosing the pale flesh in his hand with a squeeze. Moaning ever so slightly, Rei placed one hand on either side of Shinji's head, a maneuver dedicated to holding herself up. Shinji's right hand quickly followed suit to the idea of his other, claiming the territory of her left breast for its own as both resorted to traveling their respective 'countries', merely composing a continent when compared to the entire world of Rei Ayanami. The 'world' moved her hands to rest on Shinji's shoulders, massaging them softly as they continued their warm embrace. She tucked her legs up against his sides as her back arched for but a moment. Shinji remained lost in gentle fondling, hands continuing to move softly upon her, effectively invading Europe as it were. Through tireless yet subtle effort, Rei succeeded in tucking her legs under Shinji, essentially sitting on him with the exception of being raised enough off of his skin to merit a lack of contact. Shinji's hands came to rest on his sides as he withdrew from the kiss, slowly becoming aware of the new arrangement. His gaze traveled Rei's body, a body which was seated yet raised slightly off of his abdomen, bent over, and whose head was hovering a couple of inches overhead. "You already knew I intended to take some initiative of my own, Shin-chan," Rei said to him, chuckling softly. "I never said I was complaining..." His complexion reddened partially as his hands took hold of her hips. "Just... not quite expecting..." "It's good that you don't quite expect everything. It makes it more interesting." "Such as this?" he queried as he performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation despite the lack of water, pushing her hips downward so that she was sitting on him. Rei kissed him silently in return, her eyes showing no surprise, no realization of unexpected actions. She carefully sat up, half drawing Shinji with her as she brought his head closer to herself, directing his eyes level with her bosom, meriting the obligatory blushing from the young man in question. The young man's mind slowly began to grasp the situation, ultimately resulting in a decision to nuzzle the valley between her breasts, apparently to Rei's approval. "No longer complaining about getting wet, Shin-chan?" Rei asked quietly, though meant jokingly. Shinji forced a swallow, pulling his face away to look into Rei's red orbs. "You... are..." He paused, looking like someone who had hosed down the cat and had been fingered for the sudden destruction of all available linoleum furniture. "Quite..." "...Quite what?" Shinji pulled on her hips slightly. "You feel very... wet." He coughed quickly. "You sound like you disapprove, Shinji-chan," Rei commented, a gentle sound, known as a chuckle to the two minds present in the room and a heavy breath to anyone else, escaping her lips. "No... I'm just... tempted to do something else..." Both hands pulled gently on the flesh beneath them, the fingertips of one hand traveling downward from hip along the inner area of one of her thighs. "Tempted?" Rei questioned quietly. "To experience... to look at, or touch... and to give you pleasure." Shinji's cheeks burned brightly as crimson coals, though his voice remained as soft as the waves of a calm ocean. "This is so embarrassing... I'm sorry." "If it is your belief, then it is what you must act on. I will not force you to fight for me, nor will I force you to fight me if you do not wish something." "I don't want to hurt you... doing something like that..." He shook his head. "It seems I've done a lot with you tonight." "Shin-chan..." Rei watched him calmly as her lips formed the words which she desired to express. "The only way you could hurt me would be to leave. You know I would accept the pain to stay with you... have I not already proven that today?" Rei nodded, though his following words could have been perceived as contradictory. "I don't want to do anything, if you don't want me to." "If it is permission you seek..." Rei started softly, "you needn't ask, Shinji. What will be, will be, and what will not, simply will not." "Rei, I..." Shinji shook his head slightly. "This is something that I think you would enjoy, but... I wouldn't know... I'm ready to wait... because we already are for something else." "...for something else?" "That day... which you intend to come soon." For the first time in a long while, a smile appeared on Shinji's face alongside his nominal skin tone. "I will wait until then, if you wish. I will have to then, anyway." "Do not put everything off for another day. We may not live through committing treason anyway." "Treason?" "Unauthorized manipulation of company computer systems, unauthorized access to a restricted area... The list goes on from there." Shinji laughed softly, though one of sadness rather than humour. "...I really wanted... to get some rest... but thoughts of dying don't appeal to me." "If that is the case, then you can simply stay here in bed. No one will force you to go." Shinji blinked. "You sound... almost as if you don't want me to." "I don't," Rei replied softly, though her words carried the impact of a gigantic meteor striking Antarctica and melting the polar ice caps. "I don't want you to risk your life over this... I wish you wouldn't..." Shinji regarded her carefully for a moment, and what could only be identified as a look of concern in her downcast eyes. Taking a deep breath, Shinji laid down on the bed's surface, taking Rei with him. "Please... don't hide from me." "I don't want to hide from you..." Rei replied, eyes still downcast, "but I don't want your search for truth ending in your being shot, either." "I won't die... and neither will you... unless that's the death that you tell me you can't have." Shinji shook his head, dismay and confusion the instigators. "I don't want to go, I don't know what most of this is about... But, I know that it's important. And I guess... I trust Misato-san and Kaji." Rei's following words were soft, meant only for herself to hear. "Even if I could make them bring him back... he would not be the same..." "Rei." "What?" she asked softly without ever looking up to face him. "...I won't die," he stated firmly, determination resonating in his statement. "The power of thought isn't enough, Shinji. This is rule of law, and the law states that trespassers are guilty of treason and liable to be shot on sight, no questions asked. Do you understand?" "...Yes." "They could kill us all, and be in the right, regardless of who we are or who we are with. Dead is dead, Shinji... even for me." "I'm making you another promise Rei. If I can't keep that promise... then I don't deserve you, an---" "No." Shinji blinked. He found himself to be the sudden subject or two red eyes which froze him cold in his words, their intense and piercing gaze overwhelming further speech. He was literally stunned, left with no choice but to await her to speak again. "You will not say that again." "...I'm... sorry, Rei." He remained silent for a short time, debating his next words before speaking. "Then, if I can't keep that promise, then..." The sentence trailed, his debate having ended in a situation where there were no winners. "Then you can not. That is all." Shinji shook his head quickly. "No. If I can't keep that promise... that won't happen, because I will." "Very well... I will not argue with you. Do what you must, then." The words did not fit the tone of her voice, calm and pointed, unwavering tone of voice barren of true feeling. The frightfulness of the words remained in the anger and apprehension they nonetheless conveyed to the opposite participant in the conversation. Shinji's spoke nervously, uncertainty strong. "Please... don't talk like that. I..." "You refuse when I agree to allow you something, then you refuse to take my advice," Rei continued in the flat tone, a perfect enactment of the demeanor Shinji had been accustomed to for the majority of her association with her since their first meeting, the demeanor which she had used much less of with him over the past two days, yet it remained the demeanor which was the definition of her personality. "What reason do I have to talk any other way if you will not take notice if I do not?" "I... hurt you..." Shinji mentally cursed himself as his endeavours continued to succeed in their failure. "I do notice Rei... and disagreeing with you isn't something that I enjoy... at all." "Infirm of purpose!" Rei muttered, a touch of apprehension in her voice. "Were you not the one who offered the advice to 'take what you can get'?" The statement had the equivalent impact of being struck down by an Angel. Shinji gazed back blankly as it echoed over and over. A stare without focus was the only return received. Shinji's eyes broke from Rei's gaze in humiliation and disgust, but not for her having said those words to him. "I hate myself for becoming what I didn't want to. I made that choice... I can't change it even though I would want to... because I probably hurt more than helped." Rei regarded him with the same expressionless gaze, the pain clearly showing, to her, in his facial features. Her eyes softened imperceptibly as she called softly to him. "Shinji, look at me for a moment." Shinji remained silent for a time, lost in his confused misery before glancing up at the blue-haired maiden. "You _have_ to learn something," Rei started to explain, tone unchanged. "We are living the most dangerous lives on this planet right now, and I don't mean what we're about to do. We have been. We could be dead at any turn. The government could choose to turn on us... the Strategic Self Defense Force could take that upon themselves... not to mention the fact that we all but spit in death's eye every time we face an Angel. How many times have we already skirted death and come out the victor? And at what cost? Others want to live like there will be no tomorrow... we have to, because for us, that may well be the case..." She averted her eyes as her spiel came to a close, direct forceful logic not a part of her common repertoire. "What better way to cheat death then to toy with it at every turn?" Shinji sarcastically retorted, though no offensive intention in mind. "We're supposed to have our lives, yet we're thrown together against or by our will to cheat death by playing a game against God. I wouldn't be surprised... if our positions in life were determined before we were born." "Hardly appropriate for an omnipotent being to create that which would willingly destroy it if it could." "Perhaps, God isn't the enemy. The Angels... they must have some purpose... more than just creating havoc... because that never seems to be the intention." "What are you suggesting?" "I don't know..." Shinji said, voice trailing off as thoughts flew quickly through his mind. "Just that... I'm sure I don't know that much. I'd like to know some of the truth." Rei nodded. "An old story I heard once..." Shinji reminisced. "Man ate from the Tree of Wisdom and obtained untold knowledge, but was banished for the 'crime'. Maybe... this is atonement? Or by finding the truth we'll just be in over our heads? As if we weren't already..." "And maybe these are the deeds of Man returned to haunt us," Rei replied quietly. "But... I've only been told that they're Angels. Does that mean they really are? What says they are? How do we know?" "What says that they are not? Man could not create them by himself... man barely even understands what he uses, and that was created from something he did _not_ understand." "You mean, the Evas?" "Yes." The recent barrage of discussion assorted itself within Shinji's thoughts, composing and recomposing itself as it fueled the fire of Shinji's motives, aiding to rebuild his former confidence. "I... I do want to go. I want to know... truth." "Very well... Then we will go." Shinji nodded slightly in agreement. "I'm... not infirm of purpose... I'm understanding the purpose." "Good." A light smile took form on Rei's face, contrasting the illuminated visage and her former words. 'Going, because I wanted to, not because I was told to... That was...' Shinji's tone grew soft, though only in amplification. "This is why, I think you're so strong, Rei." "This is not strength. It's acceptance." "That wasn't what I meant..." "Say what you mean," Rei interjected quietly. Shinji smiled slightly. "It seems, that I'm becoming more like you." "How does this prove that I am strong to you?" "Just a part of it, helping me to understand something instead of rushing in blindly... just the impression you give in being able to assist others... not everyone is able to do something like that." "It is harder than you make it sound." "I don't doubt that. I just believe, that it's something that you can do. I've seen you once.. talking to Touji... I don't know what you were saying, but he seemed to be more at ease afterward." "He just needed to know the he was not alone, and an utter secret." "You still helped him." "That is true." "Just don't say you're not strong Rei, because you are... in a lot of ways." "I can not deny... what is true." Shinji chuckled softly at the subtle humour. "Shinji... I do not want to be mad at you... ever. But I will be when I must." Rei smiled softly. "I'm glad for that. It means then, that you really do care." He matched her smile in turn. "Have you been doubting that, Shinji-chan?" Rei inquired in a low tone. "Not at all... everything you've done says otherwise." "Good," she responded, kissing him gently. Shinji gave her a soft squeeze, letting out a small sigh before stopping short. "Is something the matter, Shin-chan?" A peculiar laugh was her response. "What is it?" "I've just realized... that if anyone were to see us right now, they'd think there's something wrong with us." "How do you reach that conclusion?" "Most people would think that if two teenagers, male and female, were in the bed in our current state, talking wouldn't be what they're doing. That's society for you." Shinji couldn't help but continue his chuckling, a definite aid in easing tensions. "They would be viewing the situation without all of the proper information. I will not break your promise, Shinji-kun." "They also wouldn't believe that anyone would make that kind of promise," Shinji countered, reddening readily. "Then let them think whatever the hell they want," Rei rebuked semi-spitefully. "They do not know us, nor will they if that is their thinking." Shinji blinked in astonishment. "Yes ma'am." "Oh, Shinji... you startle much too easily." She smiled, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. Shinji shrugged slightly, the motion seeming to respond 'Oh well' to Rei's action. "And no sleeping, either," Rei continued. "We'll never wake up in time if we do at this point." The small smile which followed served as the icing on the cake. "No... sleeping?" He sighed dejectedly. "Don't think I could've fallen asleep anyway... don't think I would've wanted to." "Much better." "Did you honestly think I would put up a fight?" Shinji quickly queried, not even bothering to give her an opportunity to respond as he he ducked in to brush her lips with his. Rei shrugged and resigned herself to enjoying the kiss, taking one of his hands to a gentle hold against her cheek. Shinji blushed softly, giving said hand a squeeze. "Why do you still blush, Shinji?" "Out of warmth, I guess." Rei pulled him back up into a sitting position, wrapping herself around him. "I guess I can make that excuse truth," she conceded with a grin. And thus, Shinji had another excuse to blush, which he did. "You're doing a good job, apparently," he admitted with a slight grin. Rei tightened her grip around him, pulling herself firmly against him as she kissed him soundly on the mouth. Shinji followed suit after a moment of recuperation, both hands now resting on her hips. Still locked in a passionate embrace, Rei tipped their bodies back onto the bed, Shinji resting underneath herself. The boy in question, thanks to the miracle of having an unblocked nasal passage, was able to remain conscious during the entire ordeal. In fact, he may have been given a few extra vertebra in the process as he made the decision to squeeze tightly on the folds of skin beneath his fingers, eliciting a pleasurable and apparently surprised gasp from the female atop him. "Now _that_ was initiative," he commented, grinning slightly as he gave her another tight squeeze. Rei all but dove into another kiss, softly rubbing her body against Shinji's, bringing about an increased breathing rate in said male along with a gasp of his own. "So was that," Rei replied, still rubbing softly against him as she smiled a small smile. "Best it if you can." A split-second decision enabled Shinji to slide one hand over her bare backside, continuing to her thigh and ending with a squeeze. "Nice," Rei murmured softly. "I know," Shinji agreed, using all his might to refrain from blushing as he repeated the action with his other hand. Again the two shared a brushing of lips. Shinji's hands traveled their territory as time passed, Rei pushing against him all the more firmly for it as her eyes slowly drooped closed. A sharp gasp came from the boy's mouth, hands attaching themselves to her legs, pulling them in the same direction as Rei's movement. A soft moan befell Rei as she clenched tightly at his back, both teenagers slowly entering a new stage of arousal. "Shinji..." Rei whispered softly during a parting of lips, "you're forgetting..." "What is it?" came the equally soft reply. "Your eyes... you looked like you were going to forget." "I won't forget," Shinji replied with a shake of his head. "I'm just doing, what can be done by now..." He smiled contentedly. "Which seems to be quite a bit. I'm just doing my best to keep myself from getting... too involved." "You've already passed..." Rei responded as she shifted subtly yet noticeably against him, quickly silencing herself as she kissed him deeply. Shinji nearly cried from the action; definitely not from pain, partially due to pleasure, but predominately due to sexual frustration which can only be controlled for so long in such a situation; frustration which had nearly taken its toll on the poor boy. He concentrated on the kiss he was involved in, gently stroking the albino girl's thighs as he managed to form a few words into a sentence, "Any lower... then I would be in trouble." "No, you wouldn't. I already told you I will not let you break that promise unless you want to." The finishing smile tacked on a somewhat cocky impression to her words. "It wasn't about breaking the promise..." Shinji contradicted, coughing lightly as his skin tone progressively reddened. "It's just then I would be getting more into this... I don't have the same... errr... resources, as you do to enjoy this in certain ways." "I didn't design human anatomy, Shin-chan," Rei replied with a soft laugh. "I just don't want you to stop." "Now you're the one that's not playing fair," Shinji rebuked as one of his hands found its way to her chest. "Next time you see Kaji-san... ask him if women ever fight fairly." She smiled before kissing him once more, a smile which slowly faded into a somewhat despondent look as Shinji gave care to her body. "...There is nothing I can do to convince you, is there," Rei stated softly. "...n...no," Shinji replied with overt reluctance, voice filled with obvious frustration for himself and the entire situation at hand. "B... but..." "But what?" "I can do something else for you..." he replied, reluctance ever effervescent. 'I'm not sure if you want me to... knowing you can't do the same...' "What can you do?" she queried quietly. "I can give you part... of the experience..." Shinji had successfully merited a confused look from Rei. "Rei..." Shinji began, sounding as confused as Rei looked, "what is it... specifically... you want?" "... Without breaking your promise... anything and everything you can give me which is you." Her lips turned upward as her reply came to a close. "I... understand," Shinji responded, not fully confident of his own words. "I can give you... part of the feeling you'd have in sex... but I'd only really be a spectator, in a sense." His mouth quickly snapped shut as his face reddened like a perfectly ripened tomato, mentally kicking, punching, and tossing himself off a cliff in the process. "I can't believe I'm talking about things that I have no experience in. Especially this." "There was a time when you had no experience in language, but through using it, you learned," Rei explained to him, separating his comment into a slew of logistics and philosophical explanation. "Years ago, numbers had no purpose except to quantify, and mathematics were meaningless, but through use you learned. You came into the world with _no_ experience. All of life is a building of experiences. Speaking of something unknown is always unnatural until you understand it, Shin-chan. However, I do not see how you could be a spectator, yet give me anything. The two are contradictory." "I mean... it might leave feelings of... emptiness, incompleteness... and I wouldn't want to do that. Knowing I can do something for you but not everything I want to... that you want to..." "If you are here, I can not be empty or incomplete. You do not need to worry." "I'm glad that you won't be," Shinji admitted, lips faintly forming a smile. "But I might be... though I don't want to keep you in frustration either..." "I have nothing to hold back... but I will not hurt you." Shinji remained silent. "If it brings you pain, I don't care what it brings me. Don't do it." Shinji kissed her softly, lost in thought. Rei's gaze remained vigilantly on the curves of Shinji's face where the jaw bone slowly melted away into a cheek bone, into the firmness of the nasal cavity, into the roundness of the eye cavity. "What is your decision, Shin-chan?" she asked after a few moments of silence. "I am amenable to whatever it is." "Why... did I make that promise to you, when I knew that you were ready to do that with me?" Shinji asked aloud, as much to himself as to Rei. "Was it because I was afraid? Wasn't ready? Wasn't sure? I... no... it wasn't. Was it because I wanted to do something... special?" "Special...?" "Did I make that promise, to make it special for you? Instead of just rushing in right away for the sake of it... wanting to spend time with you instead... does it give it more meaning? More... feeling. Even now... after you said you love me... why does that still hold value?" "I... do not know," Rei admitted softly. "But even if we are... never together like this again... I will not stop loving you. I will not allow myself to stop." "R... Have you ever known love before?" "Before you... never." Rei's former words raced through his mind as her current ones struck his heart. 'Others want to live like there will be no tomorrow... we have to, because for us, that may well be the case...' He pondered the situation quietly, working it through as he spoke his mind. "It is 'if'... I know we will..." "What?" "We will be together again like this," Shinji affirmed. "And... I'd like to begin fulfilling a part of my promise to you." "Then... do." Shinji wrapped his arms around her back in response, sitting up with her as they entered into another kiss, one filled with more passion than before. Rei never released her hold on Shinji's frame, tightening it in retrospect. "Rei..." Shinji called softly. "The one I will become one with... the one I've started to become one with... the one I am... I want to go further... to become one physically." His facial expression remained unchanged as his facial colouring shifted. "A feeling of pleasure, I think I can give you." An intense kiss from the girl in question was the only response he received. Returning was his reply as his hands came to rest on her legs, pulling them softly away from himself. Rei allowed him ease her legs away from him, clinging more tightly to him with her arms. With a soft breath, he slowly slid one of his hands on top of her shoulder, carefully traveling it down the length of her body; her chest, her breast, her stomach, without so much as any resistance, no reaction but an increasingly gentler kiss. The kiss was returned quietly as his hand came to rest at the base of her leg where it met with her torso, as a pair of delicate hands slowly massaged his back. The hand continued its slow journey, steadily making its way to the area of skin just below her stomach, above her pelvis. Rei continued to make no move against him as the kiss she provided increased in its level of passion. Shinji's eyes opened and closed slowly, pressing his head forward a little as he embraced with more emotion, sliding his hand downward about an inch. Rei clutched his torso against her own, dragging him deeper into the kiss as he softly stroked the cushioned skin, nothing truly changing with the exception of the intent gaze she had placed on his eyes. Shinji broke the kiss for but a moment. "Rei... I'll do... what I can..." Taking the leap forward into the next stage of his scheduled scenario, his hand momentarily left the skin which it inhabited, replacing itself on her inner thigh, brushing partially against her labia. Rei was for the most part unaware of the change, having entered another deep kiss as soon as Shinji's short speech had ended. It was then that she involuntarily gasped, hands clenching on his back as he softly traced his hand around the edge of her labia, at last becoming aware of what Shinji was doing. "What... do you feel?" Shinji asked her softly. "Your touch, Shin-chan," Rei whispered. "A soft touch." Rei shivered at the touch of his hand brushing softly across the entirety of the sensitive folds of skin. "How does it feel?" he asked carefully, continuing the movement. "G... good," Rei slowly responded, again clenching her hands at the sensation. "Very pleasurable, Shin-chan." She kissed him softly, quickly becoming aware of his hand trembling in its path. "You're shaking again, Shin-chan." "It's alright," he responded, pushing softly against the skin beneath his fingertips. "If... you say so." He slid his hand slightly against the skin's surface, continuing to push softly against it, meriting a soft sigh from the blue-haired girl who remained attached to him. It was at that moment that Shinji chose to trace one finger along the crevice formed by the lips of her labia, and became acutely aware of a reasonable dampness along the surface of her skin. His fingers became moist from a wetness slowly spreading from between Rei's folds. "That feels... odd, Shinji-chan," Rei stated, shivering softly. "How... Rei-chan?" Shinji asked, having no experience in being a female. "Just... odd." A somewhat blank expression crossed her visage. "I do not believe I have anything to compare it to properly." Shinji nodded slowly as he watched her face. "Do you want me to stop Rei-chan?" "I... don't know," Rei stated slowly, shivering again as the unknown feeling came to life once more. "Perhaps... perhaps this is best... saved for another time." She looked down, a slight look of defeat mixing with her words. "I... do not understand." Shinji slid his hand away from her body in accordance, accidentally brushing his hand across the now erect organ at the top of her labia. "Rei... it's..." It was for Shinji's accidental movement that sent Rei into a very strong and sudden shiver. The girl became aware of a suddenly intense ache originating from between her legs, one of great comfort as she could feel the warmth of the mutual hold increasing in her body. "It's what?" she questioned, allowing the momentary equivalent of a pleasurable jolt of electricity fade from her being. "Like you said, all of life is building of experiences... so I don't fully understand it either..." "Don't let me force you somewhere you don't want to go, Shinji-chan." "It's not that I don't want to go... it's that I want to go with you." Rei nodded slowly. "It's not something really that can be done alone..." Shinji took it upon himself to quickly rethink his statement. "It's an experience... but it's also supposed to be an expression of... of love toward someone. I'm nervous... because I don't know much about this, just like you. I... I'm willing... to experience though. Tonight... we had experiences, that neither of us have had, or probably never thought of very much before." "It was... strange," Rei agreed. "To be so totally... changed... by that simple fact of love. It is almost... frightening." "But... not completely. There's a part of it that's very..." "...welcome," Rei finished for him. "Yet I do not know if I would want anyone but you to know I could be so... different, or in control like that," Rei said, mentally adding, 'Or perhaps I mean out of control.' She continued aloud, voicing the intended expression. "In a way, that is worrisome." Rei sighed softly. 'I will need to find someone who can explain...' "It's still a part of who you are." Shinji's tone quickly dropped a few decibels. "I never thought I'd get up the nerve to completely kiss a girl of my own will... it took someone to bug me to do it the first time. But to go this far with you in this short a time... it's not something I would regret. I know I enjoyed doing it... but I also enjoyed being able to do these things for someone else, and I don't think it's something either of us really want to leave." Shinji averted his eyes for a moment as an off-hand thought flashed through his mind. 'Kaji... could he... maybe...?' "I agree... but your idea of waiting does seem a valid point... if for no other reason than it would give us time to try to understand what happened here and why we felt how we did." Rei smiled one of her increasingly visible soft smiles. "And I would have been very sorry indeed if you had never gotten the nerve to kiss me of your own will." "Rei... is it okay to go back to... just kissing, and... ummm...." Shinji blushed quickly, sounding annoyed with his state of nervousness. "Damn it! What we were doing before Misato and Ritsuko cut in?" "Of course, Shinji-chan," Rei replied with a gently laugh. To this Shinji smiled, and held the young girl around her waist. "And Shinji..." "Yes?" "Don't let me mislead you." For this she kissed him softly. "We can go anywhere we want," Shinji said with a smile. "I'm part of this too you know. You just take the initiative more often than I do." It was that moment he chose to contradict himself by kissing her. "And who would believe that?" Rei jived with faint laughter. "Me. Most people probably didn't even think we were all that capable of just kissing... remember the classroom this afternoon?" Rei nodded. "It was... humourous." Shinji chuckled in agreement. "I think... I will enjoy misleading them," Rei admitted. The two pulled close to each other as the words slowly sank in. "Though... simply interacting will be more enjoyable," Rei decided, smiling softly. And so there was silence. And thoughts were mulled. And questions were pondered. And choices were made. "May I ask you something?" Shinji inquired. "Whatever you wish, Shin-chan," the questioned answered. "Before... why did you shiver?" "When?" "When I was taking my hand away." "Part of human anatomy, Shinji-chan." Shinji blinked. Shinji quickly pieced the various pieces of the puzzle into one large confection, proceeding to blush instantly. "Was it a nice feeling?" he asked uncertainly. "Very." Shinji's body temperature rose quickly as he stuttered his response. "Well... that's... good... r..." Rei chuckled lightly at his predicament. "You didn't know. It isn't your fault, so stop blushing so." She kissed him softly for emphasis. "Want me to do it again?" Shinji asked, coming as close to a sinister grin as he could, said half-jokingly and half-seriously. "I told you not to let me mislead you, Shinji-kun." "You're not. I meant that." "Then the choice is yours." "I'm not a mind reader," he replied as his head collapsed on her shoulder, chuckling lightly. "Yes or no question Rei." "One of the few straight answers anyone will get from me," she said, averting her eyes from their view to his head on her shoulder. "Yes." It was only then that Shinji understood the situation he had just entered, though he found no regret or shame in having asked such a question, with the exception of the instances of realization and embarrassment which continually plagued him. With only two options available to him, Shinji quietly chose the one the two teenagers had agreed on, slowly sitting up on the mattress next to the prone form of Rei. "This'll be the last time... since we agreed to wait..." he whispered quietly, explaining the universal motives to her as much as to himself. "Then do not be so quick to draw back," Rei replied with a slight smile. It was with a fair deal of reluctance that Shinji pulled his gaze away from Rei's face, slowly surveying the female in question. He unconsciously bit his lower lip as he placed one hand along the interior of one of her thighs, rubbing it gently as Rei's eyes slowly drew closed. "Thank you, Shinji," Rei called softly. "For what?" Shinji asked somewhat confusedly, continuing only with what had been started. "For being you." The words brought a smile to his lips and a brightness to his eyes. "Thank you for wanting me." "...I always will," Rei replied with a slight grin. =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: VARIATIONS ON A THEME Volume 3 "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding." - Proverbs 4:7 =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Hikari listened to the tune coming from the driver's seat and smiled. Ryouji Kaji, she noted with great satisfaction, was a much better, and safer, driver than Misato. Her stomach, which, for once, was not turning flips, certainly agreed. It pained her visibly to see Asuka seething in the seat opposite her, sitting with her fists clenched. 'She hasn't changed since we left...' "Kaji-san... could you spare one of your lives so I could so appreciatively throttle it?" Asuka asked in a deathly-quiet whisper. "Ah... you know that I have many lives to life... but I fear that I may be on one of my last... The honour belongs to someone else, I'm afraid." Asuka muttered something that sounded frustrated. Hikari managed an embarrassed smile with her eyes closed, a sweatdrop forming just behind her ear. "Though... I do believe that would be much more interesting if you would try it with Unit Two," Ryouji added, laughing. In her mind, Asuka envisioned a screaming Ryouji with a large, red foot descending on him rapidly. The image brought a terribly sadistic grin to her features. 'If this is hell...' Ryouji thought, laughing again, suddenly. 'I don't like that grin...' Hikari thought, moments later. "Oh, but I doubt it would be funny to anyone else, would it..." he said, then promptly shut up, still grinning to himself. "Hell hath no fury like that of a girl under severe stress..." Hikari intoned quietly, covering her head against the reaction she knew was upcoming from Asuka. "What was that, Horaki?!" she asked, voice rising. "Show him, not me please..." Asuka huffed and threw herself back into the seat, arms crossed. Ryouji noted the action in the rear-view mirror and began chuckling, most likely much more loudly than was good for him. "And what are you laughing at up there, smartass?" "At how the beautiful college girl I've watched over grow into a finicky teenager," Ryouji replied, grinning as he took another turn. "If that's what it takes..." Asuka said, just barely audible over the sound of the car, "I don't care." "Relax, Asuka," Ryouji said, chuckling. "You'll always be a few things: bossy, hearty, self-centered, conceited, rude, impolite, commanding, demanding, smart, and beautiful... but you won't always be young... Though... nothing says you can't be young at heart." "You'd know _all_about_that_, wouldn't you?" Asuka and Hikari intoned together. "Definitely," he replied, speaking quite before he thought. "But not always in the ways you're thinking. You're young once, and then you make what you want out of life. I enjoyed being young, so that's how I choose to live. Some people don't have that choice, Asuka." "You're talking to one of them now." "No, I'm not. No older lady would have a crush on me." He grinned. "That all depends on the woman." Ryouji took his hands off the wheel and turned around with one arm on his seat, facing Asuka with his grin, and most probably scaring Hikari. "I'm talking about you, of course, Asuka." Asuka laughed darkly. "Don't flatter yourself." "Mister Kaji?" Hikari interrupted. "You didn't say that when I was shopping for a bathing suit with you," he replied, looking somewhat thoughtful. "Still rather revealing, if you ask me..." "Wasn't worth the effort of convincing you to let me get it," she replied, looking quite dejected, thinking back several months. 'Such a boring little boy...' "I'm hurt," Ryouji replied, voice completely free of sarcasm. "M-m-mister Kaji!" Hikari said, slowly pointing. Asuka shrugged. "Then you are." "I guess you aren't the girl that I cared about." _That_ comment earned Ryouji a jab in the back of his driver's seat by Asuka, who hit it quite as hard as she could. Following, she proceeded to drop her chin to her chest and close her eyes. "Kaji-san!" Hikari screamed suddenly. "Huh?" Ryouji glanced up in the direction that the pale girl was pointing, and was met by the sight of an eighteen-wheeler in the same lane, heading straight for them. "Guess I'd better fix that," he said, giving the steering wheel a sharp tug, pulling the car out of the truck's path just as it should have hit them. Hikari, blinking, melted into her seat, a nervous wreck. "Don't take me for a liar," Ryouji said, turning back to Asuka, though keeping a hand on the wheel. Asuka, eyes still closed, didn't bother to respond. Ryouji turned his eyes back to the road before resuming his speech. "Asuka, do you remember when we first came to Tokyo-3? Do you remember what you told me about Misato before we left?" Asuka still refused to grace him with an answer. "You told me you didn't like her. I knew things were long over between she and I at that time, but it still bothered me. And I didn't say anything. You're entitled to being yourself. _That_, at least, I believe in firmly. Remember the trip?" "I remember smacking the hell out of that idiot, Suzuhara," Asuka replied darkly. "You what?!" "Yes, I saw part of that," Ryouji agreed, chuckling at the thought. "And I overheard the rest of the story from someone else afterward. A fair charge for a viewing fee, as you put it." "It would've been a _lot_ easier if _someone_ had remembered to do the wash the night before..." Asuka muttered grimly. Ryouji nodded, somewhat thoughtfully. "That's right, and you did forget to wash those clothes, but that's not my point right now. Do you remember what you talked to me about on that trip?" Asuka promptly shut right back down. "Obviously you do, if you're silent again so suddenly." "What's _that_ supposed to mean?" "You talked to me about... a few things. Tokyo-3, about the other branch of NERV, about how I knew all of these things. I even talked to you about Shinji... someone I didn't even know at the time, and someone who you had absolutely no use for at the time, since he was a boy, and your image of all boys was something akin to Suzuhara. And you should know that the conversations we had were relaxed and enjoyable, and that _you_ enjoyed them. I did, as well. Don't tell me I don't care about you when I could have jumped ship whenever I wanted to. Why do yo---" "And you did, too," Asuka said, cutting him off rather effectively. "Right before I fought that Angel." "Mmhmm," he agreed, nodding. "That's right. I did, didn't I. More specifically, _while_ you were fighting said Angel. Do you know why I left?" "Probably because you're a God-damned coward," Asuka said, sulking. Hikari sat next to her, looking surprised. 'I didn't know _any_ of this.' "I'm a lot of things, Asuka, but a coward isn't one of them. I had something with me that I was asked to transport to NERV of Japan personally during that time. Something rather top-secret, meant for Commander Ikari's eyes only. I could've flown straight to NERV from Germany and never taken a look over my shoulder, and you probably _still_ would've been attacked by that Angel. I stayed, Asuka, to keep you safe, until I knew that you could do it for yourself. You're one of the few people who can fight the Angels. I can fight everything up until that point, and that's what I did. That's all I _could_ do." "You make a point of breaking every rule known to man, don't you..." "It's part of my job... my lifestyle. But, it _is_ a part of me." "Just like being a snobbish, stuck-up, egotistical prick is part of mine," Asuka said softly, smirking as she finished. "I think I've got you beat, Kaji-san." "Really?" he asked suddenly. "Then, my-dear-Asuka-who-I-care-so- deeply-about, why are you suddenly opening up to me?" "Why not? I'd rather let that take me down than wait for that bastard to play the final notes for my dance," she replied, laughing sullenly. "Oh, you mean Ikari?" Ryouji chuckled. "Everyone seems to have the same basic thought about him. Misato think's he a bastard, Ritsuko thinks he's a bastard, you think he's a bastard, I think he's a bastard, his own _son_ thinks he's a bastard. I think we can pretty much assume, in relative safety, that he's a bastard." "What's right isn't always popular, and vice versa, Kaji-san. Though public opinion must count for _something_. The old political system in the United States subsisted off of it for over 200 years." "I think... that in this case, what's right and what's popular are pretty similar." He laughed suddenly. "I'll give you a point for the political reference." Asuka laughed despite herself. Even Hikari could be noted as laughing at the same time. "And you don't need to address me as 'san'. It sounds so _formal_." "It should. You're only twice my age, you know." "Tell you what. I'll make a deal with you. Just you. You up for it, Asuka?" "Depends on what it is." 'Cute,' he thought. "I'll do something that you want me to... within reason!... if you want me to, and you can stop calling me Kaji-san. Ryouji sounds so much better... Not many people call me by my first name." "Probably because everyone else disagrees with you." Ryouji promptly imitated Misato by swerving around several cars parked on the street, going up on the sidewalk in the process, and effectively scaring Hikari to hell. "You're not nearly as good at that... supposing Shinji-kun isn't exaggerating again," Asuka said stiffly. Hikari let out a small laugh and remained huddled quietly in her seat. "At any rate, you up for it?" Ryouji pressed. "I don't need anything _else_ to hate myself for later, thank you." "Ah, you'll regret this." "That's exactly why I'm not agreeing." Asuka frowned. "I think... he meant that you'd regret _not_ agreeing..." Hikari said timidly. "And just what the hell would _he_ know about it? I'm the only one who'll have to live with it, and I'm pretty damned sure that I can take living without accepting better than the alternative," Asuka replied quickly. "So, you want to be alone, then?" Ryouji asked seriously. "Better than looking for solace where none exists." "You always did with me before." Asuka cast her eyes at the floor. "I've learned better since then." "Reality isn't what it always seems to be, Asuka. We often find ourselves trapped within the boundaries we set on ourselves, and at times, the boundaries created by others. Life isn't a painless existence..." he said, pausing for a few moments before continuing, "but we can find something else which makes the pain an afterthought, nothing more. This doesn't mean covering it up, or hiding it, or forgetting about it. _That_ just makes things worse. Just remember that pain isn't permanent. It can be dealt with, even eliminated, but being by yourself and refusing to accept others into your life won't help you. I know what you're going to say: that you don't care, that it doesn't matter to you... that you'd rather hurt yourself than everybody else. But try to realize something before you say anything: People are willing to take some of that pain upon themselves. In fact, that's what we _want_ to do. The form of life, which is seen as wishing to destroy itself, is often underrated for some of its more powerful intentions..." Ryouji chuckled, trying to assimilate everything he had just told her, and told himself. "I'm not going to compromise myself for you, or anyone else," she snapped. 'You lie poorly, Soryuu...' "Is that your best argument, Asuka?" Ryouji asked as Hikari watched in slightly-stunned silence. "It's the only one I need." "Then... I'm sorry to tell you that it means absolutely nothing. You say you don't want to compromise yourself for others, but that's what you have been doing up until now. You're rejecting others as they come to you wishing to help you,and yet you reject, even though you want them. You fear to hurt them, so you shun them away. You are compromising yourself, Asuka: you want other people, and you push them away because you don't want to hurt _them_, not yourself." "So you think I'm deceiving myself, is that it?" "In a sense. You've said all the facts yourself, and they all tie together at one point. If that's what you really believe, then it isn't wrong. It's what you want it to be. But try looking at it from other perspectives before you shun them all away as well." "Then I'll just give over everything else... but not me. I'll just partition myself, sacrifice everything else, just to keep me as me." "Then don't. Only do what you want to. If you want to keep your pain to yourself, that's your choice. But understand something else: pain is _not_ the only thing that composes your life. Look around you, at your life, and tell me that you have nothing. That nobody wants you. If you don't want to give your pain away to anybody, then why not let the ones you trust most at least _understand_ it? Stop thinking that just because you know someone that you'll fill their lives with pain and sorrow." "Why bother? It would be worse than trying to understand someone, because it's something that makes up the person... I'm not going to sell myself off just because some guy I had an idiotic crush on once tells me to, nor anyone else, so save your breath, _Ryouji_." Ryouji slammed the brake pedal to the floor, flinging the helpless Hikari forward, and inevitably backward into her seat, then turned around to face Asuka. The usual and unmistakable calmness and coerciveness that was thought to forever mark the voice of Ryouji Kaji had disappeared, leaving in it's place a tone of voice that would perfectly match the look on his face: something that could be mistaken, by someone who did not know, as belonging to a Commander of NERV. "Now _listen_. I've had it with trying to describe everything to you, so I'm just going to say it _straight_. You don't even have a clear concept of _yourself_. You know less about _you_ than you _think_ you do, and because of that, you've honestly led yourself to believe that you're nothing but a shell, some fragment of a personality floating in a body. You haven't the slightest clue of what it's like to 'sell yourself off', as you so gracefully put it. You don't even know what that _is_. It's turning in on yourself, viewing yourself as a _worthless_existence_. Damn it, you would lose any and all respect that people have for you. Get it straight, Asuka: You aren't an emotion in yourself. You're not the pain, the sorrow, the self-loathing, and the hatred. You're Asuka Langley Soryuu, and _that_ composes itself of more than just pain. It composes everything that you make of your life, but you're just _too_damn_stubborn_ to even look for one moment of your own life, to open your eyes, and see that there is more to it than the only thing that your mind is willing to conceptualize. Because you _haven't_even_bothered_to_LOOK_!" He finished with that flurry of words, then turned back and set the car aright on the street, not even waiting for a response from Asuka. For her part, Asuka didn't even bother to look surprised in the least, not even directing a passing glance at the driver, nor missing a breath. Hikari, though, looked slowly from the unconcerned girl, to the ticked-off driver. "You're speaking from experience, aren't you." Asuka glared darkly at Hikari, with everything but a flashing neon sign displaying the words 'You're just _trying_ to make things worse, aren't you?' to speak for her. Ryouji refused the chance to reply, taking another turn gently. The redhead in the back kept her eyes trained on her knees, seeming quite content with the idea of remaining silent for the rest of the ride. "Why else would you be so concerned?" "I won't answer that to you, Horaki. Sorry." Hikari eased back in her seat, speaking quietly. "...I know that's it. You two should talk... without me." She turned slowly to face out the window. "I don't think... I would agree with that," Asuka said slowly. "What?" Ryouji asked, voice laced with mocking spite. "Afraid that there are other people who know you more than you want them to? Don't worry about it. Why bother? That's the attitude that you've been enforcing. Why don't I quit? That'll make you happy, after all. It's all _you_ do, now. I have no reason to even try. Why would I even want to?" He blew air out between his compressed lips. 'What makes you think that you're even worth it?' "Your offer: agreed. Now shut the hell up." "Isn't it fun to watch your mother die before you? I hated it when I saw mine die," Ryouji said, as darkly-depraved as hell itself. Hikari's eyes went wide, though she wisely kept quiet. "I don't find _that_ insulting from a man who can't even keep his own promises. She can go ahead and keep her damned doll, anyway." Asuka laughed harshly. 'It'd be a better daughter than I could ever be, anyway...' "Heh. At least _yours_ died happily. You haven't seen someone shot in front of your eyes." "And I doubt I need to, having seen the person who brought me into this God-forsaken world go insane and hang herself," Asuka replied sharply, smirking. "Like mother, like daughter." "All the better. 'One mustn't complain about what one likes... or dislikes...'" she quoted, shuddering. "The both of you stop. Now." "Quiet, girl. This isn't over until _I_say_," Asuka replied, laughing harshly. At that point, the car's brakes flared into action. "We're here," Ryouji announced. "Good night, Kaji-chan. We'll be seeing you... or not." Asuka quickly unlatched her seat-belt and opened the door, stepping quickly out of the car and slamming the door after her. "Hikari, stay here for a moment, please." Hikari nodded slowly, watching Asuka standing on the stairs up to the apartment. "I'll try to be brief. Right now, I can't make her listen. I can't even convince her to _try_ to listen. You're right about what you said, that I'm speaking from experience, but I'm not going to go into that with you. Just understand that Asuka has to at least be willing to _listen_ to me. Can you do that for me?" Hikari nodded again. "I'll try... but I think I could as soon make that guarantee as taking Sensei in..." "I know you were in her room before." "I didn't think you'd miss me." "You're one of the few people she actually seems to be listening to so far, as best I can tell. I know this sounds somewhat cliche, but you could be one of her last chances to break her out of this dark mind before she manages to hurt herself further. It's nothing you have to do. I leave it as your choice whether or not you'll try to help her." "If you've paid any attention to me tonight at all... you would at least know that you didn't have to try to put me up to it. I would've tried anyway," she answered, managing a weak smile. "I just don't know how much more I have to give." "Just give what you can," Ryouji said, assuming his 'gift-to-all-women' smile. "And what you want to, but don't kill yourself in the process. The things I said before aren't what Asuka is... they're what she'll become if she doesn't try to understand herself. I don't want to see _that_ happen. She deserves better." "Sometimes... I think I'm the only one in this city who even has a semblance of 'having it all together'. Tonight... I think I've met another of them. Now, as I recall... you have some big secret project to get back to work on, so just try not to lose your head." She opened the door a crack, unfastening her seat-belt. "I'm her friend... My heart and soul are hers, if that's what it takes. I'll fight it until I win. Doomed battles aren't my style." "Perhaps. 'Having it all together'... at least that's the image we manage to maintain. Ryouji Kaji. Nice to meet you, Hikari-chan." "Just take care. I don't think I want to end up fighting this battle alone." "Separate and alone... that's what we all are. Separate, but together, as well. We're better that way, in the end. I'm on one of my last lives, but I don't intend it to go out unless it's in a big bang. So don't worry, you're not going to be alone on this. You might end up hurting yourself too much if you're alone, anyway. I'm just used to how situations like this work." "Hurting myself... I think I have enough self control to realize when I should stop doing _that_. As for _your_ knowledge... you've only had an extra fifteen years and a world-wide apocalypse to use as a fine- toothed comb to refine that talent," Hikari replied, laughing softly. "Well, it would have also included a cruise if I hadn't lost those tickets..." he added, chuckling. "Laughter suits you. Don't let yourself become depressed of your own will." "Yes, well... if I stay here like this for much longer, my sisters are bound to start thinking... things that certainly are not correct," Hikari said, opening the door and adding a somewhat nervous laugh. "You're turning red." "I should certainly hope so. I'm _also_ about the only person in this city with any sense of decency and shame," she said, blushing all the more. "Up until tonight, I might have disagreed with you. Maybe I still can... I still don't know the whole truth," Ryouji said, shaking his head. "At any rate, I'll leave this situation to you for now, Hikari... though I do have one other piece of information for you." "That being?" "I knew that I'd seen you at the NERV med. facilities before, and given your earlier reaction, I think I know why. Suzuhara is due to be released... very soon." Hikari's face brightened, though the blush didn't leave. "Well, I won't ask if decency is involved when it comes to him... given that he flashed Asuka at one point in time.." Hikari's jaw dropped, the blush spreading the full length of her face. "Actually, _she_ had flashed him just before that. It was when they first met. The two got off to a _very_ bad start..." "I should say so..." Hikari agreed, shaking her head. "I'm just going to say that he's not going to look the same as he did when you saw him at the hospital." "Well, wonders _will_ never cease... Good night, Kaji-san," she said, climbing out of the car. "Good night," he replied. "You _can_ call me Ryouji, you know. Asuka kind of gave up, so it's up for grabs..." "I don't think I could get used to that... Now get going. I'm not responsible if you're late for that mysterious little date of yours," Hikari answered, closing the door. Ryouji flashed another of his smiles. "I'm hurt," he said, probably in more of an intimate voice than he intended. "Take care, Hikari. And... take care of Asuka." Hikari nodded and stepped away from the car. 'Why won't anyone call me Ryouji?' he thought, cracking the window open. "Good night." With that, he sped away. Horaki looked up at Asuka, who had taken the liberty of the rather lengthy conversation to sit on the top step, looking as hellishly dejected as ever. The unfortunate Class Representative took a deep breath and spoke softly. "God, if you're on our side... I really need your help..." ------------------------------------ The ragged breathing continued softly, dissipating into the air. Gently, Rei raised a hand to Shinji's face, her index and major finger joined together as they trailed a path along his left cheek. The kiss broke as Rei laughed ever so softly into the air. Shinji's rapid breathing continued to slowly subside. He was, for the most part, unaware of Rei's hand which had continued to his jawbone. Moments later, the sensation of Rei's fingers upon his face registered. His eyes fluttered open, meeting Rei's intense gaze and smile. An odd smile. It took a few moments for Shinji to feel the wetness on his cheek. His eyes slowly shifted to the side to gaze down at Rei's hand, opening widely as he realized it to be his semen coating her hand and trailed upon his cheek. It was a suddenly soft laugh which Rei proceeded to communicate from her lips. "Surprise, Shin-chan." "Sur... prise..." Shinji repeated, mildly shocked and sounding fairly breathless. Rei nodded. "Or did you expect something so... strange?" Shinji unclenched his hand from her breast and slid it to her other hand, the one which rested softly between them, and held it gently. "I... hadn't expected... completely..." He resorted to staring at her hand quietly. The joined hands glistened quietly with Rei's secretions, partially bonded together from the passage of time since her own relenting. Rei softly pulled the hand away from his cheek and drew a path with the same two fingers down her own, marking an identical trail with the white liquid. "There. You are no longer alone, though still unique." She chuckled softly, quietly. Shinji blinked, squeezing her hand. Despite the oddness and foreignness of it all, he smiled. Trembling lips came together in another warm embrace. "Now you know, Shin-chan." "Rei-chan..." He nodded slightly. "We can be separate, but we can be one... it's what makes this existence... ideal, isn't it." He smiled gently, whispering, "I know," to the other with him. "Good," was the soft reply. "Rei-chan..." "Yes?" "No matter... how you are..." He let the words boil within the cauldron of his mind before proceeding. "I'll be with you." Rei smiled, a warm smile, and spoke in a soft voice. "Thank you, Shin-chan." Shinji smiled warmly, eyelids partially closed in a presentation of affection, drawn once more into a soft kiss as he wrapped his free arm around her back. Rei's fingers still hadn't left her own face, though she hadn't forgotten they were still there. A reminder came soon enough through the intimacy. ------------------------------------ Misato glanced out the window softly, then turned, a firmer expression on her face, and marched through the living room and into the kitchen. Ritsuko had made that her own private encampment, in which she also happened to be at the table, smoking a cigarette. "Still at it?" Misato asked coolly. Ritsuko let out a sigh's worth of smoke. "Better habit than drinking, you know." "I suppose... though I think I should brew up some coffee..." "Suit yourself," Ritsuko agreed. "Lord knows how long this night's going to be, so to speak." "Probably longer than either of us will care for before it's over," Misato replied, heading to the counter and setting up the coffee, which was not really instant, in the way that coffee never is, but also not really slow-roast, either. Ritsuko snuffed the cigarette, which had burnt itself most of the way down without her help, and looked into the living room from her seat. "My lab coat's still in there." "Hmmm?" "Kaji never got it. Probably too busy reveling in his own moments of the past." "What's the matter?" Misato asked off-hand. "Don't keep a spare?" "Oh, of course," Ritsuko replied sarcastically. "I just don't bring them with me when I'm only intending to stay for a couple of hours." "Some couple of hours..." Misato said to herself, barely audible. Ritsuko laughed sharply. "You're telling me," she said with a shake of her head. "Forty-eight hours ago, this situation was the last thing I would have ever pondered..." "And now..." Misato said, finishing the sentence for her, "I don't have a choice but to." "Heh." Ritsuko looked quite tempted to go for another cigarette at that moment. "Just get pushed and pulled around by everything in life..." Misato said, chuckling. 'I'm no different than either of them...' "Though... I guess it'll get interesting when one pulls while another pushes." "Everything is already flying through the air. Or are you talking about what those two are doing right now?" Ritsuko asked with a _very_ disapproving look. "No... more about my own intentions. Why? Still worried?" "Which part?" "What do you mean, 'Which part?'?" Misato asked slowly. "Your obviously carefully-thought-out intentions, or whatever it is you may be allowing and not acting upon." "Well, those two could be much worse off. As for my plans now... those don't really develop just yet. I guess... they can't, really." "Then, I guess it was a pleasure, for the most part, knowing you, Misa-chan, because by 3:00 tomorrow morning, we're all going to be dead," Ritsuko said, proceeding quietly out of the room and through the living room, heading for the gallery. "Don't be so damned fatalistic, Ritsuko!" Misato called after her, somewhat crossly. "_Statistically_ speaking, we're going to be dead," Ritsuko rephrased as she stepped onto the gallery. '_Her_ statistics decided Shinji was dead... a few months ago, so we could disrupt that Angel by dropping every N^2 mine in existence onto it... Yeah!, I really trust _those_ statistics.' "Just how long have I been making mistakes..." Ritsuko said from the gallery, looking out at the city. "What the hell happened to me... mother." From inside, Misato left the coffee on and walked slowly out to the gallery and Ritsuko. "Damn it... why'd I have to fall for someone... for him!" Ritsuko said, apparently thinking aloud. "Heh... all he's concerned about is 'her'..." "Because it's part of being human," Misato said from the doorway. Ritsuko glanced back passively, then looked back at the city. "Didn't even hear you. Another error on my part," she said, shaking her head. "Trade of the Akagi..." "Like I said..." Ritsuko, brooding, and rather quiet, declined to respond. "What is it? Trying to unravel the mysteries that the great thinkers of the world can't?" Misato asked softly. "Too easy." Ritsuko smirked. "Though I have a few key words running through my mind. Artificial Evolution, Instrumentality, Secrets, Lies, Pain, Betrayal... how all these things came to be is by our own ignorance." "Not as though we're in any position to change that." "It should never have been started. Everything just becomes more developed until the point that comes... when it can't develop any further, and then becomes the final stage: Self-Annihilation." "Then," Misato said grimly, though with an obvious trace of humour, "it's high-time we find some sabot." "I don't have many at home, but I have a few things that could easily do just as well," Ritsuko said, suppressing laughter. "You're insane, you don't think things through, you drink too much, and you're an overall space-case, Misato. You're also so damn lucky that you sometimes make sense." "Guilty on all counts... though to get through tomorrow, I'm going to have to mint some more..." Misato said. "Still... I think I'm going to have to remember to look over my shoulder more often." "The world isn't a trusting place. Around here, it's back stabbing and lies as far as the eye can see, but mostly just suppression of the truth. You really are going to be in for the surprises of your life... though they probably won't cause a repeat of your reaction _the_ _last_time_." "After _that_, I don't think any surprise compares." "We'll see about that, Major Katsuragi," Ritsuko said, smirking, which soon dropped into a slight smile. "And we'd see a lot faster if I'd have driven those two home instead of Kaji. I think we both know _why_." "So, you're letting Asuka have him, then? You're just letting everyone get paired up, aren't you." "No... though I can think of worse ways to go. I guess... at least _she'd_ be happy that way." "And you _almost_ had me in a good mood..." Ritsuko said, glaring at Misato. "You're only what you make of yourself. I was just answering a question... It's not my fault if you don't like the answer." "I never said it was. It's the truth, though I'm starting to hate it just about now," Ritsuko agreed, shaking her head resignedly. "No one ever said you had to like it." "Did I ever say I did?" she asked, sighing. "What a fool I am, to think he loved me." "And I haven't made a total fool of myself over a man more than once?" Misato asked, trying to put some perspective on her friend's situation. "At least twice. I heard you got drunk after I left that night." "If I remember properly... and I doubt I remember _anything_ about that night correctly... I was drunk _before_ you left, never mind _after_." "I won't disagree with you on that part," Ritsuko agreed with a slight grin. "Probably won't be the last for either part, and I know it wasn't the first," Misato added with a laugh. "You've been doing pretty well since yesterday... and I'll leave it at that," she said. "You broke that kid's camera when you threw the bottle..." "How the hell was I to know he was down there?" Misato asked, still laughing. "His screaming, 'My camera!'?" "And I thought you were the _smart_ one. I meant' _BEFORE_ I threw." "His screaming, 'Look out! My camera!'?" Ritsuko asked, grinning. "He _never_ said that..." Ritsuko shrugged. "Oh well, maybe you didn't hear it." "Or maybe you're just getting senile in your old age," Misato ribbed. "Just like you, right?" "Yes, just like me." Both women promptly laughed. "Heh. We're not old... just wise to the world." "Not just yet," Misato countered. "Try telling me that before I fall asleep tomorrow night." "Oh, then you'll be dead to the world. That can have more than one meaning, though. I hope it's the more positive one." "I can accomplish _that_ with an empty bottle of sake, and some bad reruns," Misato stated, grinning. "No doubt," Ritsuko replied, her voice turning serious, though still calm. "Listen, Misato. There's something important that you should be prepared for. I can't promise that everyone here will remain sane..." Misato laughed loudly. "That assumes that someone here still _is_." "This isn't a joke," Ritsuko stated seriously. "And don't say 'neither is this'." "Fine... so what else do you have locked away in that big black box under NERV?" "Just watch out for them," Ritsuko said, waving her hand towards the house. "Recent developments... may effect both of their reactions to the situation." "Mmm hmm..." "Once... my conscience had me considering bringing him down there, after looking at the situations he's been in. Everything, but a few points in particular, may do more than just explain at this point. Even the one who already knows about some of this..." She stopped suddenly, considering the wisdom of even speaking this aloud. 'Probably knows more than it seems...' she thought before continuing. "_That_ one may have an agenda of its own. Who knows. Everything's so screwed up at this point..." "Exactly why now's the best time. While the water's muddy, slip in the cut wires. Then, when the timing's right... turn on the power." "Liquid... form... perhaps I'll get rid of it all," Ritsuko murmured. "Huh?" Ritsuko blinked suddenly. "Nothing, Misato. Just some random thoughts." She felt like biting her tongue. 'It'd help me, her, him, and it would send Commander Ikari to hell... why don't I..?' "If it's nothing... then why are your eyes trying to focus on the next solar system?" "There's only one, Misato. And it's still not your concern." "Oh, don't get so damned technical... not to mention evasive," Misato shot back, rather annoyed. "I'm just telling you the truth," Akagi commented, then blinked. "Yes, I actually _am_ telling you the truth... That just doesn't sound right..." Misato laughed heartily. "Someone should've learned by now that the truth is _very_ subjective in the business of saving humanity, shouldn't one have?" "It's amazing that it actually still exists. Then again, this _is_ supposed to be a world without original sin..." "My ass it is..." Misato said, barely audible. "Don't think I didn't hear that. Though, I'm not disagreeing with you at all," the doctor said, turning around and resting her arms on the rail of the balcony. "Well, aside from the great acts of treason we're about to commit, we have an interesting day ahead of us tomorrow. Synch tests in the morning... and Harmonics. We just _had_ to schedule the second batch of direct-harmonics testing for tomorrow, didn't we... What a _great_time_ to go and rebuild the data files..." "Three kinds of lies, remember?" Misato laughed. "All of the above, but in different areas," Ritsuko agreed. "Hmmm..." "So, whose great coverup is that?" "Which one?" Ritsuko asked. "About what?" "No original sin. Sounds like some grandiose fairy tale." "Just a figure of speech. Another way of referring to... well, you already know. I won't get into it." "Another way of referring to... what?" Misato asked, thoroughly confused, and not for the first time. "Second Impact. Mankind paid for his sin through purification." She stopped at that, thinking to herself. 'And the cause of the original sin dealt the judgement. How... ironic.' Both stayed silent for a moment; Ritsuko because she had nothing more to say on the matter, Misato because she wanted to find a way to destroy the argument utterly. As they both stood there, they stared out across the brightly-lit city, the fortress intended to protect mankind from the Angels, and from itself. "First," Misato said, bringing closure to the silence, "if you even want to believe that stuff, you've got something else coming to you. Next, assuming that it _is_ true, wouldn't it be more _logical_ to assume that something metaphysical can't be dealt with through a purely physical motive?" "Like I said, I'm not tendentious to disagree with you." "Well, isn't _that_ a first..." Misato chuckled to herself. "It must be more aftereffects from the alcohol," Ritsuko replied, finally bringing a full grin to her face. "I doubt it. Liquor's never hit you _that_ hard before." "Didn't taste that great, either... How long have you been keeping that stuff? I could swear it predates the Second Impact!" "I wasn't old enough to _buy_ any then, remember?" Misato stated. "I didn't meet you until college, though you certainly did _talk_ a lot back then." "So, you're saying that I've mellowed in my old age, is that it?" Both women promptly broke into laughter which echoed down onto the streets below. Misato leaned back against the railing and stared up at the night sky, sharing her laughter with the stars. "No," Ritsuko said after regaining her control. "Maybe you're becoming less childish, is all." She shrugged lightly. "But quite frankly, you haven't changed that much in the way of personality. So you don't need to worry yet." "I guess... it's times like these that I wonder what I really was like before..." Misato said slowly. "Hell isn't something that you just escape, after all." Ritsuko eyed her carefully. "A piece of advice," she said, "for someone I can still call 'friend'. You're about to have your mind blown out through your ears and splattered on the ground, metaphorically, that is. You should _try_, for the moment, to talk about something else. You'll have more than enough time to do _this_ later." "That all depends on who's watching." "Doesn't always mean that someone's watching. That could have a completely different meaning," Ritsuko countered, shrugging. "At any rate, there are other things to talk about... like _after_ the excursion..." "_That_ is when this is all going to come down." Akagi shook her head slowly. "Well, provided that Ikari doesn't find out... or at least decides not to kill us just yet when he does; it could all be part of that bloody scenario of his for all I know, damn it...; we still have a regular day ahead of us... with a reduced amount of sleep. And as for the Children... all of them... _they_ have school after the testing tomorrow." "Ummm... Ritsuko? You _do_ know what happened to the school, don't you...?" Ritsuko blinked twice. "Apparently not..." Major Katsuragi promptly sweatdropped. Ritsuko immediately blinked again, then once more after Misato told her that the JSSDF had totaled the building, though she doubted that any of the damage would be visible. "It happened around five this evening..." Ritsuko licked her lips. "Okay, here's the schedule for tomorrow. We do the planned testing, then we do some extra testing of my own concoction, since we obviously have the time. After that, you and the rabbits on the bridge are going to sit down with me and explain _everything_ in _detail_ that I missed today." "Can't say I'm against it," Misato agreed quickly. "I take one day off, and _everything_ falls to pieces. NERV couldn't survive without me." "Oh, I think it survived. I doubt you could've stopped the JSSDF anyway. From what we can tell, they weren't even human..." Misato's voice trailed off slowly. "Tomorrow." Ritsuko shook her head. "I don't need to hear any more of that right now." She rolled her eyes skyward. 'It couldn't have been _that_.' "Well, I will say _this_ much," Misato stated coolly. "Makoto-chan's aim needs work." Ritsuko blinked again. "Tomorrow, Misato." Her eyes stayed on the heavens. 'What'd he blow up?' "Look at it this way. At least you'll have _some_ idea of what the hell happened today before we turn the world over again." "Heh. Next, you're going to tell me that Maya made a pass at Hyuuga, aren't you?" the doctor asked, quite sarcastic. "Well, maybe _she_ didn't," Misato said, voice waning into silence as she realized that she had spoken aloud. "Oh no," Ritsuko moaned, blinking. "Well, that is, err---" "_Tomorrow_." Ritsuko stated quickly. "Misato, do you have a copy of the field report I gave you concerning the battle against the Sixth Angel?" "You mean the one that Unit Two fought underwater?" Misato asked. "I think I've got that around here somewhere." She paused, glancing side-long at Ritsuko. "Why's that so important now? That Angel's long dead." "Oh, I want to take a look at the data from Unit Two concerning the synchronization of its Pilots from the start-up through to the shut down, including the separate analyses of both Pilots." Misato quickly headed into her living room, rummaging around in the stack of paperwork that sat on what would otherwise count as a coffee table. Somehow, through the pure disorganization of the stacks, she managed to come up with the proper manilla folder and brought it back to the patio, presenting the rumpled and crushed information to Ritsuko, adding a rather sloppy grin to the mix as well. Ritsuko took the folder from her slowly. "That was quick..." she said, thinking, 'I'll have to pull my files when I get home.' With that, she began rifling through the assembled reports. "Of course it was quick. I can find anything, remember? Well, that being as long as _I_ put it away." Doctor Akagi stopped flipping pages, nodding an acknowledgement to Misato almost absentmindedly, then began scanning the general area of pages she had stopped at. "What's so important in those old files?" "Pure hypothetical theory, or rather, the proof of the theory that I need," Ritsuko replied, tapping her finger on a few lines of text. "And just what has your interest piqued this time?" "Those two broke their synch records for a seven-second period, and the difference in their ratios were off by a few points at most. The Eva shouldn't have been able to have opened its mouth under high-pressure conditions in the B-Type equipment, except in the case of an almost insane synch ratio between the Pilots and the Eva," Ritsuko said, almost seeming to ignore Misato completely. 'And even then...' "Isn't that just a bit of old news?" Misato asked. "I mean, wouldn't learning how to, well, control something like what happened against the last Angel be more... interesting?" She shuddered heavily. "All depends on your point of interest. That's something that _can't_ be controlled right now. Not fully, at any rate," she replied coolly. "Misato, the reports from the first Cross-Synchronization Test for Unit Zero Kai and One. Could you get those for me, please?" "Why them? As I recall, both Pilots' synchronization scores were lower than with their own respective units." "Just trust me." "Okay, okay," Misato agreed, heading back into the living room. She rustled through papers, knocking a stack over in the process. Undisturbed, she continued through the stack she was intent on, and soon returned to Ritsuko with a far less-damaged folder. Ritsuko grabbed the new folder, her growing interest lighting her eyes. She split the stack between the information on Zero and One, and began flipping through both at identical speeds, causing Misato's eyes to widen in shock. "She _is_ the master..." she murmured, watching closely. Both stacks stopped moving at the same time. "This is when Shinji started experiencing the mental contamination," Ritsuko asserted. Misato stared at the graph, then spoke. "Okay... I don't get it at all." "Both tests were run in the same pattern, identical stages, so only those points were recorded here. Now, take a look at the point on Rei's test, and cross-reference it with the time when Shinji was experiencing mental contamination from Unit Zero. "This is your forte, Ritsu. You're just going to have to dumb it down for me." The doctor sighed softly. "Simply put, the pattern, the fluctuations, the timing. All the same. Rei's graph shows the exact same disparity as Shinji's did, at the same time point when Shinji began experiencing mental instability." "Almost like trying to make the Eva... comply, right?" "Basically, that's it," Ritsuko agreed. "But there's something else. Look at the graphs here." She pointed at the starting point of the graph fluctuations. "And watch the trails for fifteen seconds." Her fingers slid simultaneously along the two graphs, tracing the route for Misato. "So, they hit that point... and couldn't go on?" "Almost. Look. During Rei's experiment, everything came through as being okay, stable. Even the Pilot herself said so. But these readings don't lie... Rei was experiencing the same conditions as Shinji, and at the exact same stage, time-wise, of the experiment. The only difference being that Unit One accepted Rei... in a sense." "Then what you're saying is that Zero is just being temperamental," Misato replied with a shrug. "I still don't see that this means anything other than that the Evas seem keyed to certain Pilots." "There's that, perhaps, but that's not what I'm showing you," Ritsuko said, taking a deep breath. "The co-synchronization attempt by Shinji and Asuka was something completely unexpected, and yet when the Pilots began thinking along the same wavelength, they, in a sense, had one mind. In other words, it was the same as them both having the same will, which was the will to open the mouth of that Angel. Despite the B-Type equipment not being designed for underwater use, they managed to use the Eva, and also synch with it to a much higher potential than either were capable of at the time." Ritsuko stopped for a moment to catch her breath, as well as to allow Misato to try and comprehend _some_ of what she had just said before continuing, which she soon did. "Then, when you look at the cross-synchronization graphs, there's a high indication that---" "What about those experiment graphs? Ritsuko, I haven't the foggiest how to really read them, but run to the time on the synch-test graphs that both Pilots began to have their little mental battles with the Evas, then plot that point on the Unit Two battle with the Sixth Angel, please. I _think_ I see what you're getting at, if I'm right." Ritsuko pulled overhead sheets from the Unit Zero/One files and placed them on top of each other, then on top of the Unit Two battle data. "Close, Misato. _Very_ close." "Well, we know we can synchronize Pilots in separate Evas, if it does take a little work and a _lot_ of pointed bitching... But if this works out like it _looks_ like it _should_, why wasn't it followed up sooner?" "Too risky, and unstable. These records came at the point of extreme mental duress. They're all virtual miracles. Even looking at the Unit Zero and One graphs, the synch ratios momentarily spiked, though not noticeably in a regular readout. The MAGI would simply filter it out. Remember what Shinji was shouting from the cockpit when the contamination started spreading?" "Something about Rei, I think. It's not as though it was the only thing I had to think about at the time." 'It was for me,' Ritsuko thought. "Well, we already confirmed that something of an impression of Rei opened up to Shinji at that time, even though he has no memory of it. His own words confirmed that. And since that point is identical on Rei's graph, along with the fifteen-second spread afterward..." "Then?" Misato asked, still battling to comprehend. "Then it's a safe conclusion that the same occurrence happened within Unit One, though most likely with an impression of its Pilot." "But if that's the case, why didn't the Sixth Angel battle show those same similarities? Because it already had its 'designated' Pilot? Or because there's something wrong with Units Zero and One?" Misato asked curiously. "The Production Model is different from the two Test Types, or I suppose you could still call Unit Zero the Prototype. A half-breed, if you want. The data for the construction of Unit Two was based off of the data collected from the previous two Units. There was a reason for Asuka not to try piloting another Eva, after all. In that event, the Pilot was already bonded with Unit Two anyway, and she didn't want to _try_ synching with another Eva. Probably a good, thing, though it doesn't mean that there is anything _wrong_ with Zero and One. It just means that they're different... in that respect." "So, the Production Models are more, well, I guess the best word would be 'flexible', right?" Misato asked. "If you want to take into account the 'Sol' factor, then yes. Even Unit Three, in its very short... life, according to diagnostics we ran before it was taken over, could be assumed to be somewhat less selective." "And, of course, we have nothing to work with as far as Unit Four, which we _still_ know nothing about, beyond the fact that it took the US Second Branch and an 89-kilometer radius away with it," Misato replied. "And so, that begs the question: what _really_makes_ the difference?" "Units Three and Four will be able to provide us with more data than you think, but we'll save that for later. The difference is made by the Pilot, and the nature of the Eva, so to speak. The Unit Two occurrence would seem to be more of a stand-alone occurrence, given the results. More based upon the nature of the Pilots at that time, as well as the Unit's history. As for this other occurrence..." She tapped her fingers on the cross-synch data. "The only reason it's a stand-alone piece of data is that it's only been _tried_once_, and completely unsupervised. After the last battle... I think it's obvious that Unit One isn't going to take anyone but Shinji. Can we accept that as a given?" Ritsuko stood slowly, turning to face Misato with a grin slowly spreading across her face. "No." "But it rejected Rei, and the Dummy. And from what you've been telling me, there's no way in hell I'm letting you put Asuka in that thing. So why isn't it a given?" "The Dummy Plug virtually _is_ Rei. Meanwhile---" Misato cut her off quickly. "What the _hell_ did you just say?!" "What?" Ritsuko asked, blinking. "Don't you know this?" Misato gave her a dark look. "For once, Misato, it wasn't mine. You should've been informed about this," Ritsuko said, preparing to launch into a minute-long explanation of the Dummy System. "The Dummy System is the thought patterns of a person, digitized and stored within a host. Our Dummy Plug was created by using Rei's mind data. Basically, it generates a copy of the original, though the copy is lacking something. Something _else_ you wouldn't have been told about." "So, what you're telling me is that by turning that thing on, we're releasing a soulless horror with no remorse, essentially, the _perfect_ killing machine, onto the field of combat and just hoping like hell it decides that its enemy and ours happen to be the same thing?!" Misato asked once she had recovered from her bout with slack-jaw. Ritsuko's eyes widened slightly. 'Amazing. She figured it out for herself, though she probably doesn't understand.' She turned her gaze back to the papers. "That's the basics of it. Mind you, it _is_ controllable in the sense that we have access to shut it down. It would've been perfect... to replace the Pilots. They wouldn't have to go through hell, and the Angels would be reduced to a mere annoyance." "We _think_ we have access to shut it down. How many times have we seen these monsters we've created move against our will? Let's see, Unit One, without power, pulled out of---" "That wasn't the Dummy Plug, Misato," Ritsuko stated, cutting her off harshly. "If you'll just _wait_, I think this'll make sense," Misato replied, thinking, 'I hope.' "Anyway, unmanned and powerless, it broke the restraints, apparently willfully, and _protected_ Shinji. Then, in the battle later that night, the Unit suffered neural damage, but even after apparently losing the link with the Pilot, it _still_ managed to destroy the Angel. Now, we have both of the Unit Zero experiments where the shutdown of the Unit failed, and it switched over to the backups even when it wasn't supposed to. I won't even start on what happened with that 'shadow' Angel. Then we come to the very same battle the Dummy saw action in. We completely cut the power on Unit Three in _that_ experiment, but to no avail. Apparently, if something in the Eva has a strong enough force of will, it doesn't even _need_ an external power source! Just look at the last battle! The backup batteries were all Shinji had, and after it blacked out, it reactivated! How can you just say that we can control it by shutting it off, when just 'shutting it off' has failed time and again?" "The power source in Unit One is an S2 Organ, the same thing as in the original Unit Four, though I didn't know much about its existence in Unit One; none, actually. Do you know why these 'occurrences' happened, Misato?" "Well, even if that would excuse Unit One, what about the Zero, which seems to have a will of its own, switching power sources? But, please, explain, because the more I seem to know here, the less I _know_ that I know," Misato shot back, somewhat angrily. 'Or so it seems...' "I'm going to give you the _brief_ explanation, then I'm going back to what I was talking about before. An Eva. You know that it was copied from Adam, right?" Ritsuko asked. "Well, they look damned similar enough, so it would stand to reason." "Look at the difference between when Evangelion Unit One was running off of the Dummy Plug, and when a Pilot fights in an Eva. What do you notice about their actions?" "Humans have reservations. Even Rei showed that, and paid for it with Unit Zero's arm. The Dummy," she said, pausing as a shiver coursed through her body, "the Dummy doesn't hesitate." "Although it doesn't really apply here, you'll also notice what caught the Fourteenth Angel's attention." "Not much. Ignored Asuka almost completely. Just damaged her enough to knock the Eva out of the battle, then moved right on by without even a second look. Same thing with Rei. Paid just enough attention to neutralize the threat. Then Shinji..." "Fought just like the Dummy. No hesitation. No remorse. Simply one intention, though a different intention, though both lead to the same end. The death of the Angel." "And the Angel fought back in kind. Attempted to kill Unit One like we try to kill _them_. Total annihilation." Ritsuko nodded thoughtfully. "Back to the Dummy, there's a reason Rei would hesitate, but it wouldn't. She has a soul." She looked at Misato, hoping that she was catching on. "Even though the Dummy is a copy of Rei, it isn't _her_. We've established that it doesn't have a soul. That's what makes us more emotional, considerate, even in our darkest moments. Just because there's a part of us that actually cares, no matter how small it is." "So we can't digitize a soul. Hardly surprising, I suppose. But how can you run an Eva off of pure data? It's supposed to have to think that it has something to synchronize with, the first Unit One incident not withstanding." Ritsuko stared at her calmly. "How can we indeed..." "So, the Dummy doesn't have a soul, but if it's part of the system, there has to be _something_ there," Misato said, more mulling things over aloud than trying to include Ritsuko, which she suddenly did. "Ritsuko, did Unit One exhibit an AT Field after it switched to the Dummy System like it normally would?" "No." "Not even passively?" "I was unconscious at the time, Misato. Just like you were. The records show no AT Field, with perhaps a slight reading. Suppression." "Okay, time for something based on a pure guess. Can we assume that the Eva has a soul of its own?" Ritsuko began clapping very slowly. "But, to activate an AT Field, if it has its own soul... It has something to do with the Pilot, right?" Misato asked suspiciously. 'How the hell does all this fit in, and where do I go off venturing guesses in _her_ field of expertise?' "It depends. An Eva has a soul. Have you ever _thought_ about synch ratios, Misato? If it didn't have a soul in it, what do you think the synch ratio would be? The Eva would have no input, because there would be no soul to make it consider what it was doing. It would simply take the Pilot's thought, and act. Synch ratio: 100%. And then, a pure killing machine: something that would make the Dummy look like the babysitter a good mother would want for her child. Mix a soulless Eva with the Dummy Plug System... and you have the ultimate form of destruction. Not even humans would be capable of it, because they _have_a_soul_. That is why the Eva contains a soul: so that it can be restrained from its innate potential. But with a soul, it becomes even more _powerful_, because it contains the will of that soul. That's why Unit One saved Shinji... more than once, and why it acted without Pilot input, also why Unit Zero rejected Shinji, _and_ why it twice destroyed the testing facility that it was housed in." "Okay," Misato said after a moment's consideration. "Here's a mind-bender for you. Why on earth would the Eva care who piloted it, if it simply _contained_ the soul?" "Your answer is in your question. The Eva couldn't care less. It's the soul that cares who the Pilot is. How would you feel, handing yourself over to someone, allowing them to do as they wanted with you?" Misato shuddered. "So, what makes the soul different from the Eva?" "The Eva is just the vessel for the soul, Misato. They aren't the same thing! Eva is something that was created by man from the first Angel, or, some would say, the first man. Adam. The soul in the Eva... is man." Misato's jaw dropped, a lone sweatdrop tucking itself in neatly behind her ear. "My God... you mean..." "Virtually, a God bound by earth. There is a life in there, Misato. It's just bound by the Eva. Unit One broke those bonds, choosing to live for Shinji instead." "Okay, let me get this straight," Misato said shakily. "Eva doesn't have a soul of its own, right?" "Correct." "So, we have to take one from somewhere else, right?" "Also correct." "So, where the hell do you find _souls_ for these things? It's not like you can just go down to the corner drugstore, slip the counter guy some cash, and walk off with a black-market soul, after all." "Accidents happen, Misato. And this organization has taken advantage of every situation it could. We only discovered this by accident..." "God in Heaven!" Misato exclaimed. "You told me, when we were trying to get Shinji back, that the majority of the data you were using was from a similar happenstance ten years ago. That was..." "That was the accident that let E Project develop into what it is," Ritsuko finished coolly. "So, basically, they _have_ to have a soul in them, right?" "No. Only for the purpose of humanity. Strip it of the soul, and then there is no problems with synchronization... but then, Eva is nothing more than a biological machine, piloted by a human, who can do whatever he or she wants, limited only by their own soul. A soulless Eva with the Dummy Plug is the source of true 'Absolute Terror'. With a soul, an Eva is restrained... thus, with a Pilot, the restraints of Pilot and Eva give it... humanity. With a Dummy Plug, the Dummy Plug must still fall to the whims of the soul of the Eva, to some extent anyway." "It sounds more to me like a situation where 'nature abhors a vacuum'. Think about it. The fact that we _want_ a soul in the Unit is totally irrelevant for the moment. Every time we've tried to synch the Pilot with a different Eva, things have gone wrong, or in the case of Rei and Unit One, gone right by a stroke of pure luck. But what about synching an Eva that _has_no_soul_? To achieve its purpose, it would need to be like its 'father', so it would have to have its own soul, wouldn't it? So it would..." Her voice fell to a whisper, though the brown eyes screamed for all to hear. "Take what it needs." "They didn't know that at the time, Misato. That's why the only combination left is a soulless Eva and a soulless Pilot. That's why the Evas contain a soul. It would only be bringing our own doom otherwise." Ritsuko nodded. "This much, at least, you have right." "Time to clear everything up, then. We know that Unit One wants Shinji. It has _also_ protected him more than once, and he synchronizes best with it. We also know that they _all_ contain a soul, because otherwise, the first Pilot to attempt synchronization with it would _lose_theirs_. So, just who the hell was unlucky enough to provide Unit One with a soul?" Ritsuko looked away from her momentarily, then her eyes snapped back up, snaring Misato's own in crystal resolution. "The first Pilot of Unit One. Disappeared on the same day that Gendou Ikari changed forever. Eva Unit One's test Pilot, and head researcher for GEHIRN. Yui Ikari. The bastard's wife, and Shinji's own mother." Misato, in imitation of anyone who could never find words to describe their feelings at a given point in time, peformed ellipsis ad infinitum. In the silence, Ritsuko leaned over and picked the folders from the ground. "That's why Unit One is so selective about its Pilot. Shinji saw the accident happen, right before his eyes, though he doesn't remember." "I don't need to wonder why," Misato asserted, regaining her tongue. "I don't think anyone else could understand why quite as well." "I'm also pretty sure that's why Rei could synch with Unit One at one point in time, but not any longer. The Dummy was a copy of Rei, everything but her soul, and Yui knows what the Dummy did to Shinji psychologically. Thus, she doesn't want to let it hurt him anymore. It's the most logical explanation, and the most realistic. That, and it being Rei herself who was the source of the Dummy System. Even though Rei is human, and with her soul couldn't have done anything so gruesome." "Wait! _Everything_ but her soul?! That's what you said, isn't it?" Ritsuko regarded her quietly. "That... It wasn't a mistake, was it." "When I make mistakes, Misato, you'll know. Ikari. _That_ was a mistake. What I said about the Dummy, that _wasn't_." "After everything you've said about the Evas, I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. After all, doing _that_ with something bigger would be _harder_. But... Shinji doesn't know, does he?" "I regret taking over the E Project, _and_ the AE Project." "That's the third time today you've mentioned that abbreviation. 'AE'. But it still doesn't make any sense. What the hell does it mean? Or does it just mean itself?" "Tomorrow morning, then you'll know what AE is, Misato. You'll find out all you want to know about Rei. Something of that scale. That would be easier to show you than to try to explain without assistance." "You two never did figure out that I didn't like big surprises..." "Yes, he never failed to bring a smile to your lips when he did. I don't think I can do the same," Ritsuko replied, one fist clenched. "I think you're right. This isn't exactly a smiling matter." Ritsuko looked at the floorboards. "Akagi... a name for fools. Naoko, Ritsuko... both disgusting." "Why? Because you'll work with what you're given?" "Nothing to work _with_. All because of falling for some man, one who's more interested in his dead wife than his own _living_son_! I joined GEHIRN originally because I wanted to become a marvel in the fields of science, just like my mother. Then I learned about my mother's own secrets in life. She loved him, even though he knew she was being used... that _he_ was using her. And then, when he's done, he'll throw me away, just like he did her." "Guess you just can't appreciate something fully until you lose it." "I never had him. She never had him. No matter what it ever seemed to be," Ritsuko said, watching a couple of tears roll down her exposed arm. "Sounds like time to stop beating yourself up over it and move along." "But... but why? Why did I love him?" "Who knows? I think I could sooner explain that Dirac Sea theory of yours than give you a correct answer to that question," Misato replied, adding a weak smile. Ritsuko broke into quiet sobs. "Used me, didn't care about me at all. Just something... worthless. I hate... all of this dirt." "Then why linger over it?" "Why did you get back together with Kaji after so long? Because you realized that there was still something there?" the doctor asked, still crying. "I'm a fool for still wanting to believe that." "Why not just find someone else?" Misato asked. "I mean, sorry to shatter dreams, but why, of all men on earth, _him_?" Ritsuko looked up at her, tears streaking her cheeks. "Because he's a caring man, even if he's mixed up to the point that he can't show it anymore..." "How can you possibly get _that_ out of _this_? We _are_ talking about the same man who has all of our death warrants signed and stamped, and is just waiting for the points to tick off of his little plan before we go, right?" "He wants his life back." "Hold on. I thought he was still alive, just heartless." "Fuyutsuki, Sub-Commander. He could tell you best. He's known Ikari the longest. Before Second Impact. Also, from what I know, he was Yui Ikari's teacher during her years in University." "Damn it! Men are good for two things: manual labour, and fuddling womens' wits." She shook her head violently. "Now you've got _me_ confused!" Ritsuko laughed softly at the complaints of her friend. "Oh, geez... Okay, can we go back to something that _doesn't_ confuse me completely, please?" The sobs stopped, replaced by outright laughter. "We got off on these impressively large tangents thanks to these papers here," Misato said, tapping the folders Ritsuko had scooped up. "What did you mean when you said that you didn't think Unit One would continue to accept only Shinji? Especially when all the evidence indicates otherwise?" Ritsuko took a moment to calm herself down and recompose herself, then answered quietly. "Do you know _why_ I asked for the file from the Sixth Angel? To act as a model. The similarities are just a convenience. Unit One wants Shinji. However, what if Shinji wanted someone with him?" "Then, since it'll comply with Shinji under normal conditions, I guess... Hell, it's worth a shot, I suppose, though I don't know what good it'll do." Ritsuko threw the Sixth Angel report at her. "Okay, I wasn't thinking," Misato said after she caught the folder. "Get the Pilots thinking together, thus bringing the synch ratio higher, and thus kill the Angel more efficiently. Right?" "One highly-synched Eva might stand a better chance than two averagely synched ones. It's all theoretical, of course, but worth looking into the possibility. That, and given two other things. First, the current relationship developing between Rei and Shinji, how protective they are of each other. And second, the proof of what a more highly-synched Eva can do: the half-eaten corpse of the Fourteenth Angel." "At any other time, I swear I'd be beating the hell out of you for even suggesting that. But now, I think, I just hope it works. Though, how much difference can seven points make?" "It may be higher than seven points," Ritsuko replied, throwing her the Zero/One reports. "These are the basis for actually attempting this. I say we use Unit One, if only because it seems to be less 'temperamental', as you put it, than Unit Zero is. Cross-synchronization may be worth a second look, though right now, I doubt it's even possible. But dual-synchronization deserves a chance. It can't hurt, at least not like a cross-synch can. I will give _them_ the choice as to whether or not to attempt it." Misato nodded. "Though, what happens if in actual combat, they try to go opposite directions?" "Then you have two halves of an Eva running around?" Ritsuko offered, quite jokingly. "Honestly, I don't know. It's all pure theory right now. My theory is that those two are thinking so much alike at the moment, so... well." She shook her head slowly. "I'd like to run those tests tomorrow, for the time being. If they object, then I'll just scrap the idea. We'll see." "Somehow, I think they'll agree much more quickly if you let me do the asking. From earlier, they probably think you still have it in for them. No offense, of course..." "That might be for the best, though if I catch them having sex in an entry plug, I'll personally grab them both and drop them in Bakelite." Ritsuko gave a dark stare back at the apartment. "You'll have help," Misato offered, voice steady. Ritsuko grinned slowly. "I regret having to keep those cameras off tomorrow." "And you have _no_ idea how long Asuka complained about that _last_ time." "And if I can ask _you_ something?" Ritsuko asked, shaking her head. "What, in your infinite wisdom, kept you from throttling those two?" Laughter ensued from Major Katsuragi. "A premonition? No, more like being safe in the knowledge that I'd trust them further in that situation than I would myself. _And_ the fact that I know how much I'd hate it if someone else went around making decisions like that for _me_ without _my_ consent." "And if they were doing anything of _that_ nature?" "They won't. Shinji, at least, still has his shame," Misato answered slowly. 'I think.' "You're not good at avoiding what you don't want to talk about, Misato Katsuragi." Ritsuko grinned slightly. "That's your way, not mine." "Then answer my question." "I haven't decided what I'll do yet, but I know they won't like it." "Hmmm... perhaps." "Maybe I'll make them spit-shine Unit Two with toothbrushes, D-Type equipment and all." Ritsuko turned on her quickly. "Then I suggest buying a few buckets worth of toothbrushes and cut the old war movies from your diet. I don't think that'd stop them." The glare melted into a slight grin. "Think about it. Would it have stopped you? The one who skipped school for a week straight to have intensive, non-stop-24-hours-a-day-s---" "What is it with you and worst-case? No matter how they've changed, they're not like I was. If they were, that's what we'd have walked in on." "What makes it worst case? It's their choice, after all. Though, perhaps you make sense. Who knows? Perhaps no one should say anything at all. We have our own lives, and they have theirs." The doctor seemed almost to shrug as she finished speaking. "I think they'd agree with that. Still, it's an adult's privilege to patronize and annoy." "But not to interfere to the fullest, especially when that adult has been in an identical situation," Ritsuko replied, still grinning somewhat. "You're certainly not holier than thou, though I won't deny the truth of it," Katsuragi replied, chuckling. "At any rate, the only problem I see there is emotional trauma and probable... errr, possible pregnancy." She watched as Misato sweatdropped. 'Perhaps.' "In addition to effects on Eva synchronization, I imagine that both of their previous records are going straight to hell tomorrow. Hopefully, that means they're going up." "If it comes to that," Misato shot back, stuck on the pregnancy comment, "I intend to find a way to safely cross that bridge in record time and then _BURN_IT_." "Concerning synching, by all means. Concerning emotional trauma, be my guest. They'll both need it. Concerning the alternative... don't even think about it. It's out of your hands at that point." "Like hell it is." The Major shook her head. "Fired is the _least_ I'll be if it comes to that. Or do you have something else in that little black box that you haven't told me about?" "Aside from Commander Ikari taking notice and promptly throttling his own son, no matter how much he might possibly care about him, and also promptly chucking Rei's lifeless corpse out a window... well, you have to respect life, Misato. I know, I'm one to talk..." "You've more right than I do, if it comes to that. But we'll follow our own paths. I don't break my promises." "You mean the one about always being on their side, no matter what happens?" she asked, smiling slightly. "Sound travels well in a quiet apartment at night, Misato." Katsuragi shrugged. "If not in words, it would've come out in actions eventually." "Don't worry, I'll restrain you. I've never been a mother, but I have the proper words in mind for such a situation." "What, and I have? I sure hope there's nothing wrapped up in my past like _that_ which I've missed." Misato promptly sweatdropped. "All part of the brainwashing, didn't you know?" she asked, grinning. "You're actually the mother of... well, I can't tell you." The grin became all the sharper. "At any rate, there are other pressing matters to deal with in addition to the rest, and applicable to several of the above. The Second Children." "Oh, I'm sure we can work _something_ out there." "She seems to have a strong emotional outlet, which is gradually growing. But you already know her past, or most of it, anyway." "And I think I can piece together the rest of it now," Misato answered. "And your well-thought-out five-second hypothesis is?" "Don't be so quick to judge. Don't you think enough of it should've clicked in after your talk about the organization taking advantage of every 'accident', and the souls in the Evangelions, that it shouldn't make sense?" Misato smirked. "Then here's the brain-twister. Unit Zero Kai." "One with no past, so there wouldn't be anything to work with, but after that performance with Unit One in that cross-synch test, it would seem to stand to reason that it wouldn't need to be a close match. That'd also explain the tantrums Unit Zero throws on occasion." "Would it? Care to elaborate?" Ritsuko asked carefully. "The souls are obviously reactive to the Pilots. We don't need to go over _that_ again. If the soul in Eva Zero doesn't particularly care for its Pilot, that would explain the near-powerless rages, wouldn't it?" "Perhaps, or perhaps it's not the Pilot that it's after." "Sure looked that way in the cross-synch." "Yet, it also reacted the same during Rei's activation test some weeks before Shinji arrived in Tokyo-3. Who do you think was standing in front of the glass then?" "A normal test crew, I should assume," Misato answered. "You, Lieutenant Ibuki, and various others." "Ikari, primarily." "What the hell would _he_ be doing at an activation test?" "It was Rei's. He was there just as he was on the day of the Fifth Angel." "Okay, here's what gets me. Unit One had a soul _before_ Unit Zero? Wouldn't it make more sense to go the opposite way?" "Unnecessary. Unit Zero was a Prototype... the design. It was the first successful copy of Adam. So, from a successful copy came a copy they could actually work with, Unit One. Though work on the Prototype _was_ being done at the same time anyway..." "That means that the soul for Unit Zero came _after_ the accident that claimed Ikari's wife." "Naturally. Like I said, they had no idea what was going to happen at the time." Ritsuko raised her arms into the air, stretching quietly. "Anyway Misato... we should go in... to check on sound amplification from the bedroom... and your coffee maker which has probably exploded by now." "Damn, I don't need that..." "Sorry, but I'm actually in the mood for your coffee. Take advantage of this golden moment." Ritsuko aimed a slight grin at her host as she headed into the living room through the balcony door. Misato followed at a distance, muttering something about rationing. ------------------------------------ Command and Control was nearly silent. The hour was late; no human in their right mind was still at work. The systems were, for the most part, in a self-monitoring stage, yet the area remained brightly lit for whatever personnel remaining, voluntarily or against their will. Makoto's head dropped to the console, whether over-tired or physically dead a difficult mystery to any onlookers. The following snore solved the mystery, his breath gently blowing across the paperwork scattered about him. On the Commander's balcony, both Commander and Sub-Commander watched the nearly empty Centre in near silence. Kouzou's eyes fell to the now-slain Makoto. "Ikari, there is nothing more to be gained by remaining here tonight. No one can subsist on coffee alone, even Doctor Akagi." "Hmmm..." "And... I doubt even _they_ are foolish enough to try coming back," Kouzou concluded, stretching his folded hands behind his back. "It appears that BABEL hasn't been completely distended," Gendou stated, adjusting his glasses with finesse, apparently unconcerned with ending his day of work. "It never was," Kouzou agreed seriously, though at somewhat of a loss over having his suggestion of departure ignored. 'Serious situations call for serious discussion, I suppose.' "The documentation still exists in the archives," Gendou continued. "A reworking of the first stage." "God cast Man down for that ideal last time." "And God cast Man down once more 15 years ago. This predates even that." "Mankind has a history of stupidity," Kouzou commented with a smirk as he walked to the balcony, gazing over the gigantic room. "We insist on repeating our mistakes, even after we know what they are." "This would have been the exception. Even SEELE realized the futility of this project, which is why it never reached beyond the first stage. Hence came E Project. Odd that this would again be under consideration..." A soft grumble left his lips as he toyed with the thought. "Not by my hand..." Kouzou uttered. "A fool's idealism." "And suppose we succeed," Kouzou offered. "Which project takes precedence?" "Humour within truth. BABEL Project could serve a better purpose, once modified to the extremities. Currently, it's another obstacle. Best it be taken care of as it is played upon..." He paused for a few moments. "It appears the Angels may multiply, though we're left with few means to distinguish." "And regardless, it is _still_ no reason to lose sleep," Kouzou replied. "...There is no going back now." "We're being pushed ahead. Our trick of the clock has been used against us. SEELE would have declared its intentions by now if it were the source. There's more to this than what is apparent." "Very well, you ponder the night away," Kouzou responded sounding somewhat annoyed as he turned around and walked toward the lift on the platform. "Myself, in my old age, requires _rest_." "Fuyutsuki-sensei?" Gendou questioned from his seated position, hands still folded in front of his face. "Yes?" Gendou stood up, brushing off his sleeves with gloved hands as he walked toward Kouzou. "I never said I disagreed. I remain more open to comprehension prior to loss of consciousness." 'I am _not_ the master of persuasion,' Kouzou concluded to himself. "Perhaps you should... it might teach you a lesson in humility." He laughed softly. "If I knew humility, I wouldn't be dealing in these Projects," Gendou remarked, a slight grin having crept upon his face in the process. 'No, I most certainly am not,' Kouzou confirmed. "Good night, Ikari... before I fall asleep on my feet." The lift was activated before a reply could be given, the Sub-Commander disappearing along with it. Gendou's steps led him back to the edge of the balcony overlooking Command and Control. His eyes traced the contours of the room, until they came to rest upon the only other NERV associate on active duty. The soft snoring of Makoto Hyuuga filled the Commander's ears. He watched the sleeping man carefully, then at last drew a small silver coin from his jacket pocket. He gracefully flung the coin high into the air. It rested for but a moment at the peak of its arc, until gravity took control and sent the coin spirling downward, landing hard on Makoto's head. Makoto mumbled loudly. "The sky is falling... Run, run... the sky is falling... ZzzZzzZzz..." His disturbed slumber was immediately resumed. Gendou blinked. He almost looked stunned as the soft snoring resumed. A soft groan left his throat as he drew his hand gun from his pocket, slowly raising his aim from the floor, to a monitor, to Makoto, continuing until his arm was extended straight above him, the gun angled at a degree away from straight above his head. He squeezed the trigger, the gunshot resounding loudly within the nearly empty Centre as the bullet flew to parts unknown. Makoto's sidearm was out of a desk and in his hand, loaded and ready to fire within a blink of the eye. He quickly peered around for anything amiss, eyes searching for any danger. Finding nothing, he quietly spoke to himself, continuing to gaze around despite the lack of result. "What the hell was that?" "Go home Mister Hyuuga," Gendou ordered from above, reconcealing his firearm. "Else you'll find the night shift rather quiet. The system can maintain itself at this hour." "Y... yessir!" Makoto quickly slipped the gun away into his desk again, trying unsuccessfully to gather up everything he needed to carry in one motion, succeeding in nothing more than knocking half of it onto the floor. Gendou turned away and walked toward the lift. "This is why you have aides, Captain Hyuuga," he called, his deep voice echoing through the room. Makoto was still too far asleep to really comprehend the Commander's dialect, despite the clarity of his voice. "G... good night... Commander..." he replied, stifling a yawn. "Good night." The sound of the lift activating followed, signifying the departure of the Supreme Commander. Makoto resumed gathering up his fallen papers. 'How on earth did I manage to fall asleep on my shift?' His hands traced the floors surface in search of various documents. To his surprise, the solid surface of the floor wasn't the only thing his hands managed to find that was solid. He slowly picked up a small metal coin from among the scattered deskwork. He gazed at it quietly, looking somewhat confused. 'What is this? Overtime pay?' ------------------------------------ Rei sat still, quietly gazing at Shinji, asleep in her arms against his own volition. 'We depart one hour from now. Commander Ikari will not be pleased with that, yet I find I would go against him on this. Because of him,' she thought, looking down at Shinji. 'Are we better off? What is hidden, aside from me? Why do I... fear this?' Her eyes trailed down to him again. 'My life has less value, should my fears come true.' "Please," she finished, aloud. In his sleep, Shinji's head turned slightly to one side, then whipped quickly to the other, his body apparently shaking slightly. Her eyes softened as she pulled Shinji more tightly against her. "You won't die," she said softly. "I won't let you. Please, don't run..." Heedless of the words, he continued to shiver, encompassed in some elemental terror of his own vision. "Cold, Shin-chan," Rei said, pulling his blanket over him, still embracing him thoroughly as she rested her head next to his, twin tears falling onto his shoulder. "Don't be..." Shinji, in the near-shutdown of N-REM sleep, heard little, and comprehended less, things such as whispers and tears completely escaping his notice. "Colder..." Still shifting restlessly, Shinji continued moving, caught in a dream which he would never remember. As he did, Rei gently let go of him, allowing him unrestricted motion, which he promptly used in an attempt to roll off of the bed. Seeing this, Rei quickly changed her mind and enfolded him in her arms by his waist, still allowing him a range of motion. In his sleep state, Shinji's hands clenched and unclenched quickly as he _tried_ to roll instead of succeeding. "I have dreamed..." Rei said to herself. "This is... familiar." He mumbled incoherence, momentarily lying still. Rei, her eyes closed, did not relax her grip, and soon, though still asleep, Shinji appeared to be sobbing. She slowly turned him to his other side, one arm around his back, the other reaching forward tentatively to brush away tears which found their way onto her hand, and came under the scrutiny of her placid expression. He turned again, lying on his back for the moment, his hands held before his face. --- MST Insert =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Lady Macbeth: What? Will these hands ne'er be clean? --- Rei moved her arms to hold him again, attempting to support him. "Shin-chan, what is it?" Shinji shook his head, as if in response, and dropped his hands back to the bed. "Nothing I can do..." she said quietly. "It's uncomfortable. ...Don't hurt, Shin-chan." Rolling once more, Shinji pinned his left arm under his body. Silence reigned momentarily, soon discovering one of the quickest ways known to man to awaken someone from N-REM sleep: try to break something. The following scream, quite loud, was accompanied by Shinji shooting up to a sitting position. Rei quickly pulled him against her, one hand around his stomach to hold him upright, the other immediately going to the shoulder of the arm he had almost removed from its proper socket, rubbing the joint softly. "Shin-chan." Any thought of a reply was cut off as Misato all but flew into the room at the sound of Shinji screaming bloody murder. "Herehellwhatha---" she cut herself off with a muttered curse, then set her tongue back in its proper place. "What the hell happened?" Rei, feeling Shinji breathing heavily, replied in an almost inaudible voice. "Shin-chan was turning in his sleep... and nearly broke his arm." Misato shook her head, somewhat relieved, somewhat irked. "I thought someone had you two at gunpoint or something... Don't scare me like that!" Shinji nodded as best he could, despite the lingering pain in the arm he had nearly managed to dislocate. "Told you so," Misato muttered to Ritsuko. Rei looked down at Shinji for a moment, concern touching her face for a moment before she looked up at Misato. "Is that all, Major?" she asked, her tone of voice that of 'is this mission briefing at an end?'. "Yes, of course, Rei. Just try not to... let this happen again." "I tried," Rei replied, slightly confused. "...Of course," Misato agreed. "Okay, strange question: Just _how_ did that happen? He's never done that before..." Rei looked down somewhat. "I don't know. It just happened." Still in pain, Shinji Ikari couldn't really tell what they were talking about, and in all honesty, couldn't have cared less. "Shinji-kun, you might want to put some ice on that... Judging from the sound of it, that'll swell badly if you don't." Shinji nodded in seeming awareness to Misato's suggestion. "Just don't show up looking like that." Quite happy that the blanket was covering him past the waist, he found that it was embarrassing nonetheless. Misato replied with a laugh. "Well, it's your choice. Not as though I hav---" She shut back up more quickly than she started. "Realize something, Misato?" Ritsuko asked, smirking. "Errr..." Misato replied, blushing. "Nothing." "What got into her?" Shinji asked, shaking his head. "Nothing, Shin-chan," Rei replied. "I doubt that... Misato-san doesn't blush for just anything, you know..." he said. 'Or maybe you don't.' "I think she's just remembering that she doesn't have as much shame as she'd like to think," Ritsuko replied, smirking as she capitalized on the silence of the others. "I still don't know." Shinji moaned slightly. "It's... Oh, forget it," Misato replied. "It's not important to you anyway." Shinji emitted something between a yawn and a moan as he nodded, relaxing somewhat as Rei began rubbing the strained muscle, eyeing the shoulder almost suspiciously. Ritsuko sweatdropped. Finding _some_ relief in that, Shinji took a breath, then let out a small, strained sigh. "Would you prefer if I were to just _get_ the ice for you?" Misato asked after another silence. "I was just waiting for you to leave so I could go get it. It's all right, really," Shinji said, a bit strained. "I think I'll do that. Back soon," she promised, smiling as she wormed past Ritsuko and out the door. Rei offered Ritsuko a blank look, then turned to Shinji. "All right, Shin-chan?" she asked, continuing to rub the strained muscle softly. "I think so..." "...Warm." "Hmmm?" Shinji murmured. Rei tightened her hold on him with her free hand, speaking softly as she did so. "You were cold, but are not so now. It's relieving." "How the hell could anyone be cold in a situation like _that_?" Ritsuko asked herself aloud, shaking her head. Rei's eyes came up to Ritsuko, fixing the doctor in vision for a few moments before letting out a deep breath. At that moment, Ritsuko did something very un-Ritsuko-esque as she realized that she had spoken aloud: she spoke the first thought that popped into her mind. "Oh shit..." There was no response. "That was, I..." Ritsuko stammered, not even noticing that Rei declined to pay attention to her and had chosen to resume looking at Shinji instead. "Should I stop?" Rei asked softly. "I shouldn't think so," Shinji answered. "It's better than leaving it alone." "Fortunate that I wish to help you, isn't it Shin-chan?" Rei continued, smiling slightly. "Of course," he agreed, turning his head so that he could keep at least one eye on her. This also constituted the fact that she was softly breathing on that cheek because of said turn. He followed this by twisting around somewhat and kissing her on the cheek. The immediate reaction spun him back around as that put pressure on the strained shoulder. "A show of appreciation, Shin-chan?" Rei chuckled softly, smiling. "Allow me." With that, she leaned around and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, then moved away a few moments later, still massaging the pulled muscle. Across the room, Ritsuko was in indecision as to whether she should simply leave the room, march over to the bed and forcibly separate the two Children, or simply faint dead away and save herself the time and trouble. On the bed, Rei inadvertently added to that indecision by sitting up straight and pulling Shinji back to lean softly against her, still continuing her massage efforts. Ritsuko, looking as if she had been punched in the stomach, caught hold of the door frame in an effort to keep from falling. Shinji tensed for a moment, then melted against Rei, relaxing in spite of the position, moaning slightly from the shock of pain in his shoulder. "S... Ikari, you're --- on pur..." Ritsuko opened the door, walked out _very_ loudly, and all but slammed it behind her. 'She is hurt by her own inhibitions. What is that?' Rei thought, glancing at the doorway passively before turning her eyes once again to Shinji. "I'll do what I can," she said, smiling. "Of course," he agreed as she continued massaging his shoulder softly, her eyes closed. "What got into Ritsuko, anyway? She's not usually so... uncollected." "Rising inhibitions," Rei answered simply. "What?" Shinji was thoroughly confused. "Repressed emotions which control behaviour... perhaps I know that... She does not believe us capable of being close to each other like this. Perhaps her own experience, perhaps a regret. Even a reflection of what she has never had." Rei paused, shaking her head. "Assumptions. I don't know the truth." Shinji nodded. "Probably... a regret. ...And I don't think she'll be the last one to know it." Rei let out a soft breath as he added, "I'm sorry. I must sound so God-awfully depressing right now..." "Don't worry, my Shin-chan," she replied, bending down for a moment to rest her nose in his hair, then returning to a sitting position, drawing him down to rest against her chest while placing her free arm over his chest, resting it on the uninjured shoulder. He laughed softly. "Are you trying to put me back to sleep?" Shinji asked with a smile. "And what's with the possessive all of a sudden? I don't think that's in any doubt." "No, I'm not trying to make you sleep. I'm trying to give you comfort," she answered, pulling him more tightly against her. "And no, it is not," mentally adding, 'Is it?' "Am I helping?" she continued as she began to stroke the upper part of his arm softly, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "Mmm hmm..." Shinji sighed. At that time, Misato finally returned from getting the bag of ice she had promised. She entered already talking, and paying no attention to her surroundings. "Sorry, Shinji. It took me a while to find a towe---" She jerked to a halt, nearly pitching forward, then scrambling to keep the bag of ice wrapped in the towel she had procured, as well as keeping both towel and ice off of the floor. Shinji, breathing softly, took no notice of the event through his closed eyes, though the pain in his shoulder was still evident. Rei looked up at her as she took a firm mental grip of herself and hauled her thoughts into line. "Anyway, I _did_ find one," Misato finally continued, walking slowly toward the bed in a manner similar to the way a person would approach a frightened cat. "Thank you," Shinji mumbled quietly. Rei followed Misato with her eyes for a few moments, then looked down at Shinji softly, still carefully stroking his shoulder. "That _was_ a long time ago," Misato commented to herself. Rei glanced at Misato as she took a seat on the corner of the bed and was promptly handed the ice pack. She raised Shinji, with his assistance, and placed the ice on the area she believed the muscle had been strained the most. "Oooh, that's _cold_!" "It's a minor injury. Cold is better than having to have it... replaced," Rei replied. Shinji shivered. "Don't worry." Misato, meanwhile, had apparently been all but forgotten. "Of course," Shinji agreed softly. Rei breathed softly, looking up at Misato, who was staring off vacantly, apparently seeming to think that she _had_ been forgotten. "Major," Rei whispered. "Oh, hmm?" Misato asked. "Is something troubling you?" "Well..." Rei held the ice to Shinji's arm with one hand, the other one still resting on his opposite shoulder. She gently ran the fingers of that hand along his neck, then rested it again on his shoulder. "Well, nothing I should concern you two with, anyway. I'm supposed to be the responsible one..." Rei, looking down at Shinji, pulled on him more strongly. "I do not understand." "It's probably best if you don't," Misato replied, earning a cool stare from Rei which she decided not to give a response to. "I see," Rei said, returning her attention to Shinji as Misato entered 'Oblivion Mode' once again, slipping off of the bed and setting herself on the floor, staring at the door. Shinji took his free hand from the bed and placed it on the ice pack over Rei's. "It's all right, Rei-chan." 'They will not end tomorrow. I swear it," Misato thought. Shinji moaned slightly, then spoke quietly. "Thank you for the ice, Misato-san." "Welcome, Shinji-chan," Misato answered, nodding. 'Concern again,' Rei thought, noticing Misato's actions as well as her words. "Aida brings the strangest..." Misato thought aloud, then added in a bad Russian accent, "Guess who's coming to dinner..." 'What?' Shinji thought, not really catching what she said. "Too bad I broke his camera..." she continued, catching the interest of both Children. "Guess I'll have to replace that. I'm too old to keep up with all these Children..." she concluded, laying her head back on the bed and staring at the ceiling, laughing. Shinji blinked and looked down at her. "Are you all right, Misato-san?" "Of course, Shin-chan, of course. I just have... a lot on my mind right now." Rei, noticing that she had stopped stroking his neck as she observed Misato, resumed the action, though her eyes stayed trained on the Major. "I wish I could be that young again... Or maybe I don't. Being mute again isn't a thought I'd relish." Misato laughed darkly. "But you _are_ young," Shinji stated, confused. "Not by enough, I'm afraid, but thanks, Shinji," she said, smiling though he could not possibly see it. Shinji nodded slightly to her as Rei softly placed her head atop his, still looking down at Misato. "I doubt you'd understand, but you can try," she said. "I wish Ryouji would hurry up. I want this over with." 'She does not look forward to it, even though it is also her desire to know,' Rei thought silently. "After the Seventh... I'll trust it _after_ it's dead and gone." Shinji watched quietly, looking slightly concerned, then winced as he readjusted the ice pack. "Is there anything you wish to tell us, Major, or is that all?" Rei asked, noting a prior shake of the head. "Just... We can't turn back now. You two can still back out... but it won't change the end result. I just want you to know that... before we all charge head-long into this." "We discussed the 'trip' earlier," Rei said quietly, looking away slightly. "I don't want him to die, Major." "I doubt that would be a problem. They won't lose the effectiveness of Unit One for anything. I would sooner worry about you, Rei." "I have only one thing to lose." "What?" Misato asked carefully. Gendou, his old glasses, and Shinji passed through her mind. She didn't answer. "I'm not questioning your decision. Just make sure you have the resolution to follow it up. Tomorrow... isn't going to make the world a better place. Well, not immediately, anyway." A momentary lull in the conversation allowed for an audible hiss, the sound of the front door opening, the announcement of the return of one Ryouji Kaji. "What's that?" Shinji asked, turning his head slightly toward the noise. "Either Ritsuko leaving, or Kaji getting back. The former wouldn't surprise me, but he's been gone long enough that I'd bet on the second." "We depart in sixty minutes," Rei stated simply. "We do," Misato agreed, smiling. "You two... should get ready." "Understood. We will shortly." "That includes a shower for the both of you," Misato added, laughing. "Otherwise... I think Ritsuko will truly have a fit." Apparently, the events of Shinji's and Rei's evening, no matter how residual or oblique at this point, had not escaped the trained eye of Major Misato Katsuragi. "We are to take a shower together, then?" Rei questioned. "As long as it gets done, the 'how' isn't important. I'm sure you two can work that out, can't you? I don't have to make _all_ the decisions, I hope," Misato replied, laughing. "Erm..." Shinji stammered, blushing. "Of course," Rei agreed, smiling. "Well, I'll leave it up to you two, then. I still need to talk to Ryouji about just how he intends to get us in tonight." "Understood." "Very good. Just don't lose track of time. Something about this half-witted plan makes me think timing will be important." Misato stood. 'Misato's never won much, except at Paper-Scissors-Stone...' Shinji thought. "Then, hope that it's based on three choices every time there's a problem," he said, managing a slight grin. "No, he arranged this, so he'll make the decisions. We're the burden he has to bear unto the entrance. After that, we will follow the 'good doctor'... Supposing she doesn't lead us into some trap or anything as such." "I trust Kaji-san," Shinji said quietly. "It's not him I'm worried about," Misato replied, crossing her arms. "I shouldn't keep you." "Trust," Rei stated simply as Misato headed for the door. "Remember, one hour," Misato said, opening the door. "No later." 'Similar to... a regret,' Rei thought as Misato closed the door. "That... could've been worse," Shinji commented. "What was wrong?" Rei questioned. "Just thinking... that our little talk with Misato could've gone more poorly than it did," Shinji answered. "What was wrong?" she asked again. "Oh, just that everyone was talking over my head." Shinji smiled. Rei grinned slightly, tightening her grip on him. "Though you did not complain, and you still are not." "Something told me... that it would be better to just listen." "Perhaps. Then you come to understand," Rei noted. "Yes, of course. I suppose we should take Misato's advice..." "How does it feel?" Rei indicated the shoulder with the ice pack. "Trust me, it's been better. ...But I'll survive." "You would be well-advised to remove it now." Shinji released the ice pack, simply letting it drop. "Ooohhh! That was _cold_!" Rei uncrossed one arm, placing her hand on the spot where the ice pack had been, applying slight pressure. Shinji flinched. "Ow!" Rei began massaging it like she had earlier, and Shinji flinched away from her hand. "Sorry, Shin-chan... Before, it was of help." "Probably because the ice stiffened it up. It isn't your fault." "Odd dream..." "I wouldn't know. I don't remember anything about it." "How are you aware, then, that you dreamed?" "You always do... it's fact. Truth. Just, most of the time, you can't remember," Shinji explained. "I've dreamed... once." "Well, if you want, you can explain, but it'll be while _I_ get a shower. I certainly don't want to invoke the wrath of any of the members of tonight's party..." "That isn't possible," Rei asserted. "On any day before, I wouldn't argue. But now, I'm getting that shower." Shinji stood, favouring his injured shoulder. Rei stood behind him, speaking softly. "We have to work that out first." Shinji chuckled. "Executive decision. I'm going." "I outrank you, Third. I'm going with you," Rei replied, taking his hand. "There, that wasn't hard," Shinji said, heading for the door. Rei let go and stopped walking. "Something wrong?" "No. Next time, Shinji. We will relax then," she said, walking towards the bed. "You are more concerned about modesty than I. You should wear a robe." "Only robe's _in_ the bathroom. Besides, it's my house... kind of." "Run. Prior to three others noticing you," Rei said with a slight smile, sitting down on the bed. "Yes, well... I just hope those three are otherwise occupied." "You are delaying me." "That's your prerogative, supposing that you really _do_ outrank me, that is," Shinji replied, grinning. "After all, I seem to do most of the damage." 'And certainly not all of it good...' "What?" he added, when she stood, walked to him, and stared into his eyes. Rei pushed him softly against the door, kissing him on the lips. That seemed to work fine, until Shinji twitched, jamming his shoulder, thankfully the good one, against the doorjamb. "Be careful," Rei said, pulling the door open and pushing Shinji into the hall, then closing it quickly. "A cold shower might help." In the hall, Shinji made a beeline for the shower, flying past the entrance to the kitchen and pulling the door closed as he moved with it, causing it to slam, though he decided that was better than being seen. He was, thus, into the shower faster than a fireman could possibly dress. ------------------------------------ "Well, if it isn't the Return of NERV's least secret 'secret agent man'." Misato grinned deeply. "I trust you've had worse car rides." Ryouji grumbled slightly and pushed past her and into the kitchen with a somewhat cold, "No... I haven't." "What's the matter, Kaji?" Ritsuko asked sarcastically. "Can't even handle two teenage girls?" He degenerated into a slur of quiet German curses. The two women blinked before replying in perfect synchronization. "Oh, so that's the problem." Ryouji clapped rather slowly, applauding stupidity at its finest. "Maybe... we should postpone the trip?" Misato asked, turning to look at Ritsuko. "It was your recommendation not to bring her, Misato. What would _that_ solve?" "I believe that our guide... is not in the best of shape to guide us." "I'll be fine. I just have other things on my mind right now," Ryouji cut in seriously. "Exactly why you're not in good shape to lead this little expedition. Or do you think this is going to be _easy_?" Ryouji smirked. "Don't underestimate me, Misa-chan. Remember where _that_ gets you?" "Oh, shut up!" Ritsuko grinned passively as Misato's yell echoed through the room. "It isn't my problem. We'll just 'set it aside'. You have to be able to do that in my industry." "And, specifically, just what _is_ your industry?" Misato asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Only the most fitting, the most real," he replied, grinning. "Staying the bloody hell alive." "You know how you wouldn't have to do that, don't you?" Misato asked. "Aside from dying, that is," Ritsuko added smoothly. "Oh, but life is a measure of risks. It isn't life if you just avoid them." "Then become a philosophy teacher," the two women inputted together. "I don't think so," Ryouji answered, smiling. "I'm not cut out for deskwork, thank you." Misato sat at the table, joining the other two with a soft "Hmm..." "What were you doing in there" Ritsuko began, pointing in the general direction of Shinji's room, "for so long?" "What were you doing in there for so short?" Misato shot back, chuckling softly. "Nothing important, I know that much." "Never were one to talk much about yourself, were you, Ritsu?" Ryouji put in, his standard half-smile, half-smirk gracing his features. "There's nothing much to say." "In that case," he said, turning to Misato, "what's your response?" "_I_ was just making sure they knew what they were doing." "Hmmm... Everyone has their own affairs to deal with, it seems. I dislike growing old, so I enjoy my youth." "What youth?" the two women asked, together again. Ryouji thusly grinned as if to split his very face apart. "Old hags!" Ritsuko shot him a dark look, while Misato explained in no uncertain terms that he certainly hadn't been saying anything like _that_ a week ago during a very, _very_ different set of circumstances. "Well, none of us has been having an easy time as of late. The past _does_ hurt." Misato shook her head slowly. "Okay, I've got just _one_ question for you, Kaji." "Yes?" "Just _how_ are we going to slip past security tonight?" The debate ensued almost immediately. Ryouji, outlining the first option, which included rope, and trunk-full's worth of weapons, nearly got his head ripped from his shoulders for even bringing up the possibility of a frontal assault. Misato told him, again with no uncertainty, that there was going to be, in her own words, 'Zero body count', and the idea of the frontal assault was promptly dismissed. At least it should have been, but Ryouji was still quite intent, bringing into play the fact that he also had tranquilizer darts, though for 'extreme situations only'. Misato, by that time becoming more outright annoyed, asked just how he intended to avoid said 'extreme situations'. "A short time ago, I modified an access code to the entrance of the Third Main L.C.L. Plant. I've already used it, and rechecked it. According to my records, MAGI hasn't been tracking it. Entrance shouldn't be a problem. As for disabling other security protocol... I suggest that aside from tripping traps or trying to avoid them, that the good doctor should be the one to disable them for us. Re-writing the records in MAGI to say that they were operational at all times would be the most advisable course of action. Running into actual people down there... no chance of that happening. If we did, it'd be the brass, and that would be _the_ extreme situation." Ryouji finished his spiel quickly, and was instantaneously queried by Ritsuko as to whether or not he realized that all entries to Central Dogma were scanned and recorded by the MAGI, and that she didn't have access to _that_. His reply, perfect, and in the form of a question, probed the fact that he had been able to enter the Third Main L.C.L. Plant unmolested. "Records are not kept for _down_there_. The pure level of security access required to get down there is all the protocol needed. Though, apparently, that system needed revision." "If that's the case, simply disabling the security measures below should suffice," Ryouji observed. _That_ snide comment earned him another tongue-lashing about paying no attention, this time about the fact that entrance to Central Dogma was logged, and that it could most certainly not be side-stepped, since the only way through the doors was to swipe their clearance cards, and that doing so would generate a report about anomalies in entry, and that a report on the matter would be on the Commander's desk by six in the morning of the same day. Foolishly, Ryouji followed _that_ up with the idea that he was keeping an N^2 mine in his trunk. "The idea is to keep from putting the entire base on full-scale alert!" Misato screamed, about ready to smack him. Ryouji went on to confide that he didn't have access to that kind of firepower... unless he really wanted it, though there was a flaw in the Central Dogma system that would most probably suffice to get them all in without the possibility of bringing guards who would shoot on sight running for the entrance. Ritsuko told him, quite stiffly, that there was no possible way that a flaw existed in the detection net, to which Ryouji simply grinned at her. "The doors open, and when an object passes through, they close. However, there's a slight timing problem... provided a door had been propped open slightly, the system may have recorded it as having been closed, in which case we could pry the door open. Unfortunately, we aren't set up for that at this point, and even then, its not 100%." He passed another look at Ritsuko. "It's something that NERV's great scientist should have noticed by now." "Perhaps... but I think I have a better way. Misato, your duty record is always set, and entry would be recorded. Same with yours, Ryouji. As for the Children... short of an Angel attack, any entry after about 10:00 PM would generate an Abnormal Entry report. I, on the other hand, _have_ no set duty schedule." She offered the situation at large a rather evil grin. "How many people do you think we could squeeze through that door at one time, Kaji?" "I think, jammed together, you could probably get ten people through there. Fifteen, if they're smaller," Ryouji admitted. Therefore, Ritsuko became the fail-safe. Since, as she said, she could not generate an A.E. report, the whole group of five could get through on her card, though they should be quite thankful that NERV had never decided to install pressure sensors on the floor to record weight at time of entry. That, as she kindly pointed out, would scrap the entire plan, or generate an Abnormal Entry report which would end up in the Commander's hands as soon as he came to work in the morning. "Top-notch security at that point, but still passable," Ryouji remarked, smirking. 'Abnormal Entry? A.E.? What the hell?!' Misato thought, thoroughly confused through the use of the abbreviation A.E. "Well, you didn't actually think that I'd just sit here and let you think of everything, did you?" "Perhaps I did," Ryouji answered. "You just happened to make it a hell of a lot easier." "Because you had no idea, right?" At knee-level something small, black, white, and red disturbed the adults with a loud "Squawk!" Misato snapped away from her thoughts and looked down, speaking the penguin's name in surprise and wonder. She was met in turn by another loud "Squawww..." from the dejected bird. At that moment, Misato caught sight of the empty dish next to Pen-Pen. "No one fed you!" she said, earning a sad squawk from the pet. "Rit-su-ko! I thought you did this too!" she exclaimed, taking the dish from Pen-Pen as she stood. "Oh, sorry. I forgot about _that_, as it never complained." "He's not an 'it'," Misato replied, removing some frozen fish from the freezer. "Very well," Ritsuko answered, sighing. In an attempt to bring the issue around on the doctor, Ryouji quickly asked how _she_ would feel if someone made some variety of 'it' comment about one of her cats, then turned and laughed as Pen-Pen happily ran circles around Misato's legs. "Of course not!" Ritsuko exclaimed. "With cats, you can _tell_!" "I don't know, he's pretty emotional," Ryouji followed up, turning his face to Ritsuko. "How _are_ your cats, anyway? It's been a few years since I've seen them." "Oh, they're being independent, as usual," Ritsuko lied. "They rather have to be." "Can't find the time to care of them?" "My grandmother is taking care of them. She needs the company, and I needed one less thing to worry about. I do miss them, I guess..." "Why not talk to your grandmother, then?" Ryouji asked. "It must get rather lonely at times." "At least everyone," she began, mentally adding the word 'else', "has someone to look after them like that. One day, I'll have to make it a point to go visit." Then she added more thought. 'But I don't need that memory again.' Ryouji told her quite sternly that she should do so soon, as "There is no sense putting off until tomorrow what you can do today, right?" He laughed at the joke of his own creation, then added that it was "Rather fitting." "Yes, of course," the doctor agreed, her voice mirroring her demeanor; sad. He watched her facial reactions, eyes softening even as his face became more firm. The following mistake was made by Misato, made in asking whether Asuka was any better when Ryouji had left her. Ritsuko resisted the urge to mash her palm to her forehead even as Ryouji let out a slew of German curses, then turned his voice calm, and deadly serious. "If anything, her demeanor deteriorated all the way there, hitting rock-bottom by the end of it." "What did you do?" "Heh. What _didn't_ I do is what _I_ want to know." "You did not consider what you did not know," Rei asserted from the doorway. Ryouji blinked, then swiveled to look at the new entrant to the conversation. "What was that?" "You did not consider why she changed for the worse as she did. It was your error, Kaji-san." He blinked again, somewhat surprised at the rather sudden appearance of what could be called an attitude, but continued speaking to her in the same tone. "Really?" he asked coolly. "Could you say that you know her well, Rei?" "I can say that I know what I see." "And sometimes, Rei, what you see, and what is, are two different things." "I... will not deny it. Though, I am the one whom she wishes to lash out at." At that comment, Misato nearly dropped the can of beer she was carrying for Pen-Pen. Ritsuko looked serious in expression, though she was laughing inside at the thought of the penguin, on the floor, knocked unconscious by a dropped beer can. As Ryouji was the only one paying any true attention, only he instantly caught the motion of Rei, who quietly raised a hand to her neck, rubbing it softly, almost unconsciously, then dropped the hand to her side once more. "You are vain, Rei. She's not limiting herself to just one person. She's lashing out at anyone who would show her concern, as well as at anyone whom she would dislike for other reasons. She dislikes those who show her concern, in a sense." "No, I simply instigated," Rei replied, eyes downcast. "Though, you are not the one." "You're making no sense. Just speak what you want to." "I find that I was correct, though... it was not fair." Ryouji sighed deeply. "Rei, do you know who I am?" "No one can know who you are." "Do you know who I was?" "No one can know who you _were_, only what you seemed to be," Rei affirmed. He smiled sadly. "What does that tell you?" "That is life, Kaji-san. It does not tell you anything. What you draw from it is your own." "And that is what it tells you. You've just contradicted yourself." "I am _not_ here to debate logic with you," Rei stated, rather too sharply. "Until you have stared into the eyes of _that_ death, do _not_ think to tell me that _I_ do not _know_." He blinked only momentarily, rather used to outbursts from teenage females by that point in the evening. "Until you've _been_ that death, don't tell me that I've never considered her situation." "That is not what I said. I said that you did not consider what you did not know. That is not simply 'not considering'. You are not _that_ cold, Kaji-san." "No," he agreed, "I'm not. But who's to say that I haven't been at one point in time or another? I'm simply saying that I kn--- That I can relate to her situation." "As you say, then. Your past is to me like mine is... to others. Now I must make sure Shin-chan still has a concept of time," she said, disappearing from the doorway before any response could be attempted. Both women were apparently struck mute by the exchange, and Ryouji took that time to move from the table and remove his gun from Misato's jacket, concealing it upon his person. "Wh-wh-what the _hell_was_that_?!" both women asked simultaneously. "Conflicting ideals," Ryouji said, standing behind the chair he had occupied moments earlier. Both Misato and Ritsuko continued speaking together, thinking aloud. "That's not right. It _can't_ be right." "Oh, go pilot an Eva," Ryouji said crossly, resuming his seat. "What _are_ you talking about?" "That was," Misato began. "Rei," Ritsuko added. "Acting like Asuka." Both women sweatdropped. "So, I lose them both," Ryouji said, checking the clip of his gun, and finding it empty, fished some bullets out of his pocket. "I'm not winning much today." "How the hell am I going to deal with this?" Misato asked aloud, as Ritsuko followed on a different line of thought, her voice overlapping the Major's. "Ikari will not be pleased. At all." "_Ikari_ is toast if I see him tonight, plain and simple," Ryouji answered, slamming the clip back into the gun and clicking the safety off. "I don't have time for him. As for you, Misato, I expect it should pass for the time being, provided that the subject is not raised again." "I doubt if it's that simple. But if those sights so much as touch one of my charges, I promise your finger'll never close on that trigger." Ryouji laughed loudly. "You think I'd hurt them? Who do you take me for?" he asked, clicking the safety on and concealing the gun. "You should know better than that." "With the way this day has gone, I almost wouldn't put it past myself," she admitted. "Don't worry. My job's to keep us all _alive_, thank you." "All the more reason to worry," Misato grumbled, earning a nod from Ritsuko. At that point, the conversation between Rei and Ryouji finally started clicking into place for her. "What the hell was she talking about?" she asked, thinking aloud. "About what?" Ritsuko asked. "_That_ death? I've missed something." "She was talking about Asuka, without a doubt. Though, staring into the eyes..." "Blue," Ritsuko said coldly. "Eyes like ice." Ryouji sat at the table, thinking quietly, and looking somewhat thoughtful. "Someone needs to teach that girl to _say_ what she _means_..." Misato grumbled. "The eyes of 'that death'." Ryouji breathed a sigh. "She's speaking out of fear, Misato." "But, why would she fear Asuka?" "Whatever it was, it is not only her fear, but it also caused her disappearance earlier. Did Hikari-chan tell you anything?" "No, nothing," Misato replied. "Misa-chan... I would advise that some time, in the near future, you watch the actions of those you speak to, and listen, not to what they say, but to what they're communicating," Ryouji said, looking away. "I'm getting slow, it seems." Things became slightly clearer to her as she recalled Rei's raising her hand to her neck and rubbing it softly, almost as if expecting to find something besides smooth, pale skin. "She didn't..." "After seeing Asuka earlier, I wouldn't doubt it." "Seeing what?" Shinji asked from the doorway. "Ah, shit," Ryouji said, groaning slightly. Shinji simply turned a dark glare on him from the doorway. "Don't even think of losing your temper with me," Ryouji stated matter-of-factly. "It has already happened with three women. I'm _not_ going into males as well." "I don't have a temper to lose right now. I don't know what happened while I was cleaning myself up, but I don't think you would've wanted me there just then." "Actually, Shinji, I'm sure you would know better than any of us. Sit down." Shinji all but stalked over the table, failing miserably at not making a big show of sitting down. His face told the entire story: Any single person who crossed him was going to live, and they were going to regret it. Badly. "Okay, out with it. This day _can't_ get any worse." Ryouji pulled his gun out for the umpteenth time during the course of the evening, watching as Shinji knuckled his hands together and rested his chin on them in a pseudo-Gendou-Position stance. He laid the gun down on the table in front of the scowling boy. "You know what this is used for, don't you?" Shinji shrugged. "Depends on the person using it." "No games. What's it for, mostly." "Self defense, or attack. A means to an end." Ryouji lifted it by the barrel and held it out to him. "Could you ever bring yourself to use one?" "Even if I could, I wouldn't. No one should _need_ that power. There shouldn't even be a _reason_ for it to _exist_." "There should not, I agree," Ryouji said, putting the gun back, also for the N-th time during the course of the evening. "But often, in this day, it _is_." He shook his head slightly. "Shinji, you dislike hurting others, and watching others get hurt, don't you?" "We've been over something similar before, Kaji-san. I lost a month of my life in the Eva, not my entire memory," Shinji replied, the pseudo-scowl deepening. "Then, please tell me what it was you saw this afternoon which has frightened that girl." "No." "So... even _you_ won't let me help Asuka." "I will mend what I broke by myself. It is _not_yours_." "You kids... are just that. Kids. Selfish." With that, he walked from the room, followed by a dark, haunting farewell from Shinji. "As you will, then, Ryouji-san. You cannot have it both ways." The added smirk, even though Ryouji's back was turned, completed the effect. Ritsuko twitched, obviously of a mind to smack someone. "You're not making this any easier, Shinji-kun, and you won't be able to fix _anything_ if you drive off anyone and everyone who wants to help," Misato stated. "Where have I heard _that_ before?" he asked, the smirk disappearing. Misato simply stared at him for a moment, contemplating whether or not she should give him something that would hurt even worse than the smack which Ritsuko was contemplating. After a few seconds' worth of deliberation, she decided. "Shinji Ikari," she said coldly. "You sound like your father." Shinji blinked, his reaction most like that of a nervous twitch. He spun to face Misato, slightly stunned, but still speaking darkly. "I'm not him." "Don't tell me that," Misato shot back angrily. "Just take a look at yourself, and _then_ try to deny it. Your speech, your visible reactions, even your posture. You. Are. Him." His eyes promptly fell aside, looking down at his hands, which he quickly pulled down to his sides in fists. "I'm protecting those I care about. What's wrong with that?" "Is it even worth it to save them if you sacrifice the very person they would want to be saved for by becoming something you hate and loathe so much?" Ritsuko asked him softly. "But, I-I wouldn't, I'm not..." he stammered, losing his verbal control, increasingly unsure of himself. "No more lies, Shinji. No more omissions. What happened?" Instead of answering, he simply offered a blink, then slumped over on the table. "Does that mean... he cares about me?" he asked quietly. "Who?" Misato asked. "Father..." "I doubt he ever stopped. In that respect, he is just like you." "He..." Shinji attempted, looking up at Ritsuko. "Maybe even worse off," she admitted. Shinji looked down at the table, a few tears streaking down his cheek, though he was neither smiling nor frowning, instead looking genuinely confused. "Ritsuko, could that be genetic?" Misato asked, both serious and not. The doctor shrugged slightly. "Seems to run in the Ikari DNA." "Then why the hell is _he_ always in control? I can't catch this world if I try..." "Something like that, I can't explain to you in one night. Misato, start again." "Start again?" "Questions." Misato blinked. "Oh." She turned quietly to the confused boy. "Shinji-kun, what happened?" "I saw her, Rei, dying." "Dying?!" Misato exclaimed. Shinji shook slightly. "Asuka destroyed that apartment room, and Rei, she tried to... I had to..." Tears began falling from his eyes once more. "She tried to..." he attempted, also trying to drag himself back together. "Asuka tried to kill her," he finally spat, still crying. "Why?" Misato asked, gaining no answer, as Shinji was lost to his tears. "Misato, you're not going to get anything like this," Ritsuko said, shaking her head as she watched the crying boy. "Shinji, crying over it isn't going to change the past, but you _can_ help correct the mistake now. Why did Asuka do that?" Shinji still did not answer, though his crying had ceased. 'If just _considering_ it does this to him...' Misato thought. When he finally did speak, his voice was soft, almost non-existent, and was mostly under control. "She... she said... kept calling Rei a doll, couldn't feel anything..." he said, simply laying out the facts as he remembered them, lacking any kind of grammatical cohesion. "A doll?" Misato asked in surprise. "I still remember what she said," he said, pausing again, regaining his voice before resuming. "Destroying the doll's house so I can destroy the doll. I hate dolls, and I hate her! All she does is what you want her to... That was... all... She did all of this because... it's my fault, because I... I told her she was wrong." "You can't control her," Ryouji said, reappearing. Shinji held his tongue again, then spoke as he remembered. "It's always Shinji and the doll, Shinji and the doll. You and your damned doll! Do whatever you want with her, if... if I think she really cares about me. If I thought a doll could even have feelings..." "Doesn't she?" "She--- she," he began, taking a long gulp of air, then speaking very softly. "She loves me. _Loves_ me..." "What?!" It hit Shinji's ears as pure noise at first, three separate voices speaking the same thought at the same time. Then, against all odds, he smiled, still looking at the table, and spoke in the accustomed soft voice. "I won't leave her. I love her. I love... only knew one person who I _loved_ before..." Both Misato and Ritsuko stared at him, their eyes looking as though they were about to fall from the sockets, though out of shock, or simple disbelief, that would be difficult to relate. Ryouji nodded thoughtfully, still trying to place all of the pieces together as well. Shinji's smile faded just as quickly as it had appeared. "I-I told Asuka she did. We were both angry, for different... reasons. Then, she saw Rei... cry..." "Cry?" Misato raised an eyebrow at Ryouji. "Only. She saw a beaker, hers, smash. She cried... soul... Asuka, she rushed her... pinned her to the wall. By her neck, squeezing..." He shivered as though the room was below freezing. "And what of this makes it _your_ fault?" Ryouji asked simply. Shinji looked up at him, nearly in tears once more. "Asuka said... said it was because of me, because _she_cared_ about _me_... that I was," his voice broke momentarily. "The same as her." He wrapped his face in his arms, leaning the backs of his hands against the table. "I hate this. Asuka... so terrifying... hated _everything_." "Her beliefs don't make _your_ mistake," Ryouji stated coolly. "What if I didn't?" Shinji asked, still doubled over. "Rei wouldn't have been hurt then..." "If you didn't what?" Misato asked calmly. "If I didn't care for Rei, she wouldn't have been hurt..." he said, shaking his head. "No, then I wouldn't have cared. I-I care about her. More than that." "Not caring is not in your nature, Shinji." "I, I struggled with Asuka. Saw fear in Rei. Had to keep Asuka off of her. No choice... had to. Would have... if I couldn't stop h---" Ryouji nodded again. "Okay, lets try a different tact, shall we? What on earth changed so much between then and a couple of hours ago?" Shinji sat up slowly, bringing his hands away from his face as Ryouji watched silently. "I have no idea," Shinji replied, shaking his head. "Rei disappeared, then Hikari went, got Misato. Talked to Asuka, actually comforted her, even though I was... angry." His fists clenched reflexively. "'Take what you can get'... damn it!" "Well, she certainly did that, didn't she?" Ryouji said, musing. "I just wanted to help her... I never thought that Rei would... would..." Shinji shook his head slowly, spilling his hair more out of order than normal. "That wasn't my idea." "What wasn't your idea?" Misato asked, looking confused. "They were all talking in Shinji's room before. I won't destroy his privacy by elaborating on the details, of course, but they were all getting along, apparently, though they seemed lost on something or other." Shinji blinked, staring at the table. 'What?' "Kaji, if you were _anyone_ else, I _might_ be persuaded that it was that simple... but you never are." He shrugged, grinning slightly. "That's who I am," he said, reverting to his more serious expression. "However, that is what's important. I'm just curious as to why they were getting along all of a sudden, and how that was even _managed_." He stared thoughtfully at Shinji. 'I couldn't do it.' "You're asking the wrong person. I just agreed," Shinji answered. Ryouji nodded, though he wasn't really the one who got Shinji to talk. "Agreed to what?" Misato asked slowly. "To say what I knew..." Shinji replied, covering his ass. "And to give Asuka a chance." "I doubt many people would've done that," Ritsuko mused. "I do care about her, but not," Shinji began, choosing his words carefully. "Not the same as Rei, I know that for sure. Even though I don't want Asuka hurt either." "What was it you called after me earlier?" Ryouji asked. "You can't have it both ways, I believe." "Eep... You heard that. Yes," Shinji said, _very_ softly. "Sorry." "Well, it does apply now, doesn't it?" Ryouji continued. Shinji laid his head down on the table, mumbling, "Yes." "And you understand it? What that saying means?" He thought to himself for a few moments, more trying to solve the problem for himself than anything else. "I can't... love them both. Because I don't. It's only... Rei." "And _that's_ what Asuka can't accept," Misato rumbled quietly, causing Ikari to blink, confused. "She can't, or won't, accept that, because to her, it's like being beaten again." "That's what I said to Rei last night, when we were talking," Shinji agreed, shaking his head. "It hurts." "Of course it does," Ryouji agreed. Shinji, emotionally drained, laid his head on the table slowly. "So, what are you going to do?" Ryouji asked. "If you intend to fix this by yourself, I assume you have a plan." "I... ummm... we're getting along. Isn't that 'the right way'?" he blinked quickly. "Or will that eventually... worsen it?" "Well, that all depends on how you play it out," Ryouji answered. "I..." Shinji began, covering his head. "Now that _will_ worsen it." "Plan..." Shinji said, looking up. "Need to talk to Rei." One and the same was standing quietly outside the kitchen, dressed in her school uniform and listening quietly. "That's better. A start, at least," Ryouji confirmed. "We'll do something... I won't hurt them as best I can, but... I won't leave her." Rei blinked, eyes cast slightly at the floor as Shinji spoke. "No one said you had to," Ryouji agreed, nodding. "Even if someone did, I..." Shinji began, slowly falling silent. "You wouldn't, would you." Shinji swallowed audibly, shaking his head. "Well, that answers that. At least that's _one_ problem solved. Now you just have to figure out what you're going to do about the 'other one'." "I want to stop... for now," Shinji decided. "That's your choice, Shinji," Ryouji responded. Rei's eyes hardened momentarily, then went soft as she nodded and walked calmly into the kitchen. "Well, this is good. Everyone _appears_ to be ready," Misato commented, smiling. Rei looked to her momentarily, then over at Ryouji, followed by Shinji. She offered a slight nod in Misato's direction, even as her eyes remained on Shinji. "Feeling better now?" Shinji asked. "Yes," she replied simply. 'This is the same girl from ten minutes ago. Right.' Ryouji laughed softly. 'A catalyst,' Ritsuko thought, watching general reactions. "Anything to share, Ritsu?" Ryouji asked. "You've been rather quiet, though I can't say it's not like you." "Just observing the past exchanges, and analyzing information," she replied coolly. 'Another unexpected development...' "Like what?" Shinji asked. "The fact that this entire situation is absolutely insane?" "Better insane than totally destructive," Ryouji pointed out. "It's nearly that as well..." Shinji replied softly. "So we don't let it go that far. The first steps have already been taken; every little bit helps, no matter how painful or insignificant it may be," he answered. "Anyone who works on E Project would _have_ to be insane, Shinji." Ryouji began chuckling softly. "That certainly _isn't_ funny, Ryouji-chan," Misato and Ritsuko chided coldly. "Yes, yes, sorry" he agreed, looking at Rei, who was still looking quietly at Shinji. "Something you want to say, Rei?" Ryouji waited in silence as she walked softly up to Shinji and looked down at him, speaking softly. "Not infirm." "No, we're not," he agreed. "We... as one, Shin-chan," she said quietly, placing her head on his shoulder and her arms around his chest from behind. Misato took a quick glance at Ritsuko; who was making a concerted effort to refrain from grumbling, growling, moaning in agony, or simply starting on a session of pointed bitching; then to Ryouji, who happened to be glancing back and earned a smile and a nod. As Shinji brought his arms up, placing his hands on her arms contentedly, Ryouji began laughing softly, and everyone promptly stared at him. "Private joke... Sorry," he said, still laughing. "What a time for jokes," Misato stated pointedly. "Better than a few alternatives I can think of," he answered, promptly shutting Ritsuko up, and bringing an interesting marriage of a blush and a slightly lost look to Misato's features. For the part of the Children, they made one thought of the situation with Asuka and wisely remained silent. "What's the matter, Katsuragi? Do I have a neon sign over my head saying, 'Wish you were here'?" Shinji blushed as Ritsuko laughed for the first time since leaving the balcony. Rei blinked once, eyes resting on Shinji, which was most probably far wiser and safer than watching Ryouji Kaji. Ryouji himself looked up and, finding that he really couldn't see above his head very well in that manner, started thinking about where the nearest mirror was. "What do you want me to do? Rush into your arms and pin you to the wall?" Misato asked. Ryouji grinned, and she spoke again. "Keep it up, and I'll have to make a replay of your entrance." _That_ wiped the grin clean off of Ryouji's face, much to the amusement of Ritsuko. Misato walked by him, speaking quietly on her way out of the room. "I think _they_ have enough ideas, thank you. Try again later, Kaji-chan." With a quick grin, she disappeared. "I'm innocent, I swear it!" he cried, shaking his head. Ritsuko jerked forward as she burst out laughing. "I missed something..." Shinji remarked slowly. "Yes," Rei agreed. "Kaji-san, apparently." Shinji shook his head similarly to Ryouji's own action. "Oh, geez... Rei, weren't they supposed to be the _mature_ ones?" "It is a frightening thought at times..." she answered. "Yes, that is what it is." "You're not including _me_ in that, let me set _that_ straight right now," Ritsuko stated harshly. "No, Ritsuko-san," Shinji replied quickly. "Fearful, Shin-chan?" Rei asked in a whisper. "No, just polite." 'To hell with permission. He's doing it anyway,' Ritsuko thought, grinning mentally. 'Too bad he doesn't work on everyone like he does on Rei. Just put him in the same room with some world leaders...' was Ryouji's thought. --- MST Insert =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Touji: And they'll hang all over him? Ryouji: Baka! Haven't you been paying _any_ attention? She was just screaming at me a quarter of an hour ago, and now she's _fine_! Touji: ...So... Shinji should sleep with them? Shinji: Touji... ...End of conversation. He's an idiot! Ryouji: Certainly is. Sure you don't want to change your mind? --- "It is... close," Rei said, adding a small smile, and receiving a nod from Shinji. "Yes, you are," Ryouji said, laughing. Shinji glanced about, not understanding. Rei, however, offered a glance at Ryouji, then spoke. "Yes, that too." With that, she pushed Shinji's cheek such that he was facing her, and kissed him unexpectedly. Ritsuko buried her face in her hands, moaning. "Where did he go wrong? Just _where_?" "Very close," Ryouji agreed, turning his head slightly. "Hmmm... Rei?" "Yes?" "You should speak to Katsuragi." "Why?" Rei asked, looking confused. "You'd be better off asking me that..." he began, pointing at Ritsuko, "without her watching. Or listening." "Akagi-san... would you excuse us for a moment?" Rei asked, taking her arms from Shinji and walking toward the now-cluttered balcony. Shinji watched Rei leave, followed by Ryouji, who offered a mock-bow, then turned around slowly, realizing who _he_ was left with. "Problem, Ikari-kun?" Ritsuko asked. Shinji promptly shook his head. "A word of advice, Shinji. Run while you can." "From what?" The doctor nodded solemnly to the balcony. "Her." Shinji remained silent for a moment, looking at his hands. "Just consider it... fair warning." Shinji clenched his hands into fists slowly, then looked up. "I won't run from her, not for anything. I already told her that," he stated, bringing himself to his feet. "As you will, then," Akagi replied, shaking her head. "Just don't make promises you can't bring yourself to keep, Shinji." He blinked quickly. "That's what she said." "She has good reason to." Shinji looked away for a moment, then turned and walked out of the room, towards the balcony, speaking softly to himself. "I won't break any of the promises that I've made... Rei." From the table, Ritsuko called after him. "Just don't let any fool hopes cloud your better judgement, Shinji... I know too well the consequences, the returns, when you do _that_." The boy paused as she spoke, then silently walked to the balcony door, leaving her at the table. Even before he opened the door, he heard the sound of Misato chewing Ryouji out. As he stepped onto the balcony itself, he noticed Rei standing quietly behind Ryouji. "What on earth happened out here?" he asked. In response, Rei walked over to stand beside him, saying nothing. "What's wrong with that?" Ryouji asked. Shinji tapped his foot slowly, already annoyed at being ignored. "What's wrong with it? What's _wrong_ with it?! Ryouji, they're KIDS! Have you absolutely lost your _mind_?" Misato shook her head. "There's no way in hell I'll speak a word about that. No chance at all!" "No, I haven't lost my mind. Besides, from what I was told, you were talking about putting the moves on him when he first moved in with you. Besides, they don't look like kids to me." "I just said that to get Ritsu's goat! I still have standards, you know... unlike someone else on this little patio I can name. Now, if you want to argue that last point, get in line. All I have to say is that there's no way that _she_," Misato jabbed a thumb in Rei's direction, "is going to learn about anything like that from _me_, so as far as I'm concerned, you can _forget_it_. Why not ask Ritsuko? I'm sure she would be more forthcoming." Misato smirked as she finished, a final exclamation. Shinji coughed loudly, both to clear his throat and to get the attention of the bickering adults. "Excuse me!" Ryouji blatantly ignored him, continuing instead. "Well, all right. So she _doesn't_ hear it from you. What happens then, hmmm? Leave it be, or find someone you don't trust. Take your pick." "You already know what I've said, and nothing has changed since." "I think..." Shinji began, speaking his mind aloud. "I have better ways to spend my time than listening to two of my 'superiors' yelling at each other. Come on, Rei. If they can't even be civil, they'll be no help to either of us." He smiled to himself mentally, then took one of Rei's hands softly in one of his, turning as if to leave. "Just one moment... please," Rei replied, halting him. Ryouji blinked, then spoke in a low voice that neither of the Children could hear. "I'd just as soon they didn't," Misato stated. "Are you afraid you'd... do something wrong?" Ryouji asked. "I've already done that. I simply have no intention of compounding my mistake, thank you." "What makes you think it's a mistake?" he asked, turning to Rei. "Rei?" "Yes?" "We'll try this again some time soon. You can go now." Misato shook her head in disbelief. "Ryouji Kaji... you have no shame at all..." "I understand," Rei agreed, walking from the balcony, and taking Shinji with her, whether he really wished to go or not. Misato waited until the door closed behind the two, then put everything she could muster into a smack across Ryouji's face. Said face maintained a slight grin despite the hit. "Damn..." Misato whispered. Ryouji straightened, looking at her seriously. "You make it impossible... _impossible_... to keep even the simplest of promises! Do you have any idea what that half-cocked idea of yours just did?" "It would probably do more good than you realize, Misato." "I'm getting _really_tired_ of this question today, but what happened, Kaji? What have I missed now?" "Why should I say anything when you refuse to?" he asked, prepared for any kind of attack, including weaponry. "Because your answer will decide for me whether or not I should even consider that hare-brained idea of yours." Ryouji let out a small sigh, then walked to the edge of the gallery, staring out at the city. "Do you remember our college days?" "I don't forget anything anymore... except the details I don't need. Makes up for being all but comatose after the Thirteenth. Why?" "Then you remember that incident with Ritsuko." "Which one...?" she asked. "Relate it to what I'm talking about," Ryouji answered simply. "What about it? From how _you_ told it, she was totally clueless." "Just substitute us for the two inside, then Asuka for Ritsuko. That should be enough to kick-start your memories." Misato sweatdropped indecently as Ryouji continued looking at the skyline. "I still don't see why I should be worried... too much. Shinji has a better head on his shoulders than that," Misato finally answered, mentally changing 'that' to 'than you do.' Ryouji turned slowly and held her to himself gently. "What the hell's the big idea, Kaji?" "Misa-chan... please don't take everything I say and suggest at its face value." "Oh, another of _these_ talks, huh?" she asked, shaking her head. "Listen to me, Misato," he said, quite seriously. "Do you want them to make the same mistakes we did, and go through the same problems? Do you think that would be _good_ for them?" "That depends on what you mean by 'them'." "Fine, consider this: We don't do anything... Watch Asuka take Ritsuko's place, Shinji enter mine, and Rei take yours. That's what'll happen... and that would be destruction walking." "It was, even before it came to this, and you know it." "No, it's not. You're afraid of facing a positive truth, because you know that you can't control it." Ryouji sighed. "Misato, I'm not asking you to talk to her in huge detail. What I'm asking you to do is to speak to her about... morality. That's all." "I think they probably have a better grasp of -that- concept than _we_ did." "No doubt. But assistance wouldn't hurt." "Well, if you can convince her to come back out here... I'll try." Ryouji smiled somewhat. "Don't worry. It doesn't have to be right away. We don't have much time before departure. Wait until _this_ mess is over. We have to come back alive for it to have any use." He laughed softly. "I'm sure that I'm not the only one who's thinking on this level. I imagine Shinji to be confused... beyond anything." "He must be... He doesn't blow up like he did earlier. In all honesty, it's _more_ than obvious that the whole thing's getting to them." "I'll speak to Shinji when the chance arises. And don't worry: No comments." "Good," Misato commented, not even trying to get away. "When the chance arises, then." "Thank you, Misato," he replied. 'You're doing more good than you think you are.' She nodded. "Say, Kaji. Why are you still holding onto me?" "Because, my beautiful flower, this is the best way to quickly get your attention. Sometimes, it seems to be the _only_ way I can get it," he replied, chuckling. "But now, it's simply because you're here, and I haven't been able to for some time. ...And I never know how long I have to enjoy life." "Not much longer, if you keep squeezing me..." Misato grumbled. Ryouji ducked in for a quick kiss while the advantage was his, then pulled away with a slight smile to avoid being killed by a close-combat retaliation, no longer holding her. "I never was even your equal, was I..." Misato said, laughing. "Depends. Could be subordinate, could be master. In this case... it was my friend," he replied, smiling. "You do realize that if Ritsuko saw that, we may well never leave this apartment alive again." "If I'm going to die, it won't be in an instance of passion with you..." he answered with a sad grin. "Don't forget to open your present, Misato." "Of course not, but..." she began, slowing as he watched her semi- expectantly. "I'll do that in good time. The Children aren't the only ones this is getting to..." "You may be more compelled to after tonight. Want to go in?" She nodded softly, and Ryouji extended his hand toward her with a slight bow and a smile. Taking his hand softly in hers, she replied, "Let's go." ------------------------------------ Kensuke was back on the street in front of the building he had begun calling the "Pilots' Complex", as the majority of the Eva Pilots were, in fact, housed there. He could, over the course of time, bring himself to apply that term in several other ways, but he didn't so much as try as he paced the sidewalk next to three separate cars. 'If any of those three made one God-damned bit of sense, this would certainly not be such a pain...' he thought, trying once again to reason things out. 'Shinji's in trouble, I know _that_ much already. And he makes the most sense out of any of them. Asuka's just weird... she didn't yell at me or _anything_! There's something very wrong with that picture. I don't trust an Asuka who doesn't pitch a fit because someone accidentally ran into her. Hell, she's been punting kids for less! Seeing as I was in a direct line between her and Shinji...' Kensuke sweatdropped. Another lap back and forth, and he was no closer to any answer, at least not any that he wanted. 'Then there's Ayanami. Just _mention_ of her makes this a problem, if not more. She makes little enough sense as it is. At least when she said nothing... you just had to wonder what she was thinking. Now... you have to wonder if she'll _stay_ quiet, and even if she doesn't, whether or not she's double-speaking. The fact that she wasn't even here for most of the evening...' The thought trailed momentarily into another where he wondered when it had come about that he started referring to himself in the second person perspective. After tentatively deciding that it was only because he would find need to explain this to someone eventually, he re-tracked himself. 'Who knows what Shinji's going to run into there. Damn, I'm no good at this!' On that note, he brought his fist down on the trunk of the car which had the misfortune both of being hit, and of being the one parked furthest from the entrance to the apartment building. To his momentary surprise, and thereafter, singular pleasure, the lock clicked into place, and the trunk came up. 'Talk about faulty equipment. Where did the construction team designing this piece of trash work? The USA?' He laughed aloud momentarily. 'Nah, probably not. Nothing this new would even _touch_ trash like that. It's probably just an inferior part.' "Guess I should put it back down..." he stated to himself, moving to do just that. "Hey, what's..." Kensuke trailed off as he actually looked into the open trunk. 'Damn! I could arm the entire class with this stuff... though I'd rather just keep it all. Too bad I can't do either... I'll just have to settle for the memory.' He looked up at the apartment building. '...Still, they're plotting in there, or were when I came in.' Refraining from setting anything and everything in the trunk off, he let himself inside, curled up with a laptop in the far reaches of the trunk, and pulled it closed after him. ------------------------------------ Silent darkness crept within the grim room, banished only by the pale moonlight; the sole obstructor of death and destruction, the sole warrior for peace and solitude, the sole hope for lighting the eternal jewel. The moonlight served as all of these in what seemed like a rather bleak room, keeping company to its sole occupant, and the occupant's soul. The young man sat in a chair, staring out the room's only window; large, lonely in its position on the wall. His expression was curious as he pressed a hand against the glass portal, peering out at the soft lighting of Tokyo-3. '...It's almost time. Things will never be the same again, will they?' He barely noticed as tears fell, the portals to his soul illumined in red; a mixture of moonlight and artificial light reacting with the iris of the eye. 'I'm committed. I know what I have to do. I know it's my path...' He smiled slightly. 'I know that it was my choice.' His skin was pale in the lighting. He gazed at his leg with mild interest. 'I resemble Ayanami, don't I?' He grinned slightly. 'I look forward to meeting her again.' He shook his head. 'This'll be gone by tomorrow. But... a little time like this is worth the trade, isn't it?' He sighed deeply, sitting up straight in his chair. A firm expression slowly crossed his face as he gazed onward, eyes narrowing slowly. 'So, Ikari, looks like we'll be meeting as well, if I can find you. You're not going to enjoy it, I guarantee it.' He flexed his hand softly into a fist, then released it. 'Keep your eyes open, Shinji.' His eyes flew to the wall at the slightest creaking sound, returning them to the room's glass portal as it was confirmed to be the bed creaking ever so slightly. He shook his head softly. 'Of course, you won't understand right away. But you will, soon enough.' The boy slowly rolled the wheelchair backward, making his way to the bed. He rotated the chair 180 degrees, giving himself a push off the chair, and immediately toppled over onto the bed. Halfway from falling off, he dragged himself under the bed sheets and onto the cushioned surface. With a firm expression he forced the deadweight of his lower appendages onto the bed, slowly arranging himself as comfortably as he could. He pulled the covers over himself, and stared silently up at the ceiling, breath becoming soft. "Tomorrow, it all changes again." He slowly closed his eyes, forcing himself to drift into a state of semi-awareness, a precursor to true rest. ------------------------------------ Hikari sat idly on her bed, watching Asuka quietly from a distance. Asuka smashed her fist into the side of the wall, withdrawing it slowly as it quivered from the impact, only to be replaced by the other fist but a moment later. "You were fine before you got in the car..." Hikari mentioned quietly. Smash. "Please don't keep hitting my walls, Asuka... or anything else. You're a guest here... I'd like everything intact when you leave tomorrow." Hikari's tone was half-joking, but half-serious as well. "Then I'll be leaving," Asuka growled, and with those words walked purposefully for the door. Hikari quickly displayed her physical prowess by dashing past Asuka and blocking the door with her body, giving her a stern 'I'm the Class Representative, don't you _dare_ screw around with me...' look. "Outta my way, Class Rep. You may be joking, but I'm _not_." There was no sign of humour in Hikari's eyes. Asuka stepped right up to the pig-tailed girl, eyes hardened, giving the impression that she could move Hikari with the simplest thought. Hikari's voice was quiet, yet held more strength and firmness than any shout could have. "Go ahead and try it." "Don't push your luck, Hikari." "You've pushed yours as far as I'm willing to accept." "No one said you had to accept anything," Asuka remarked softly, eyes still hardened in anger. "Just live with it." "I do both," Hikari replied curtly, pointing to the bed. "Sit." "Fuck me," Asuka spat, attempting to shove Hikari out of the way. Hikari's hand went to her own shoulder as Asuka successfully moved her from her guarding position, wincing slightly in pain. "Fine. I'll do it your way." Before Asuka had a chance to react, both her shoulders were encompassed by Hikari's hands. She was immediately spun around and flung against the wall, pinned by Hikari's grip. "Damn it, Horaki..." Asuka grunted. "More self-pitying?" Hikari commented, her tone betraying the fact she wasn't going to take any bullshit from anyone. "What's wrong now?" Asuka shoved her backward as best she could given her position. "That hurt, that's what." Hikari once more held her shoulder as she stared Asuka down. "And that didn't before?" Asuka shrugged. Hikari's lips twitched, taking on what could almost be considered a sneer. "You want to protect yourself, so you hurt others. I've got a new lesson for you. You know what'll happen if you hurt others Asuka?" "I couldn't care." Hikari did sneer, a facial expression never before seen from the brunette. "Yes you could, and you will." She cleared the distance between herself and Asuka within a second, arm extended behind her, soon extended before her as she flung it forth, slapping Asuka with tremendous force. "And now, you do. It'll hurt you. It's all going to come back to you. Just what you didn't want." Asuka once more shrugged, not even bothering to put a hand to her face, which now had a Hikari-sized palm-print on it which fiercely stung her skin. "That's life. I don't get what I want, and that's the end of it." "And now you're accepting it. Make up your damn mind!" Hikari demanded angrily, yet none the louder. "Why? Just because that's what's accepted? I don't think so." "You don't even _know_ what you want anymore," Hikari mused, eyes narrowing. "No, I don't," came Asuka's calm reply. "Though... that doesn't give you any right to force me to." She silently shook her head. Hikari started to calm down, but continued to speak firmly as she spoke the psychological equivalent of firing six rounds. "Why not? You don't know what you want, so why do you care? What difference does it make if you're just going to let whatever happen to you happen? No concerns, no cares." She walked away from her stopping a few feet from her former position, back to the fiery redhead. "You're nothing more than a doll, Asuka." "Maybe that'll work," Asuka replied quietly. "There isn't another viable option anymore." "You're relying on it, enough. A doll has no life, wouldn't know how to look at the options that are in a life. It's shut out from the world, becoming only what those around it choose to make it. An easy existence, everyone deciding for you what you are. All you have to do is act out what's set to you." "If that's what it takes... then it's better to live life as a doll," Asuka conceded. "Really. But... you have no life." Hikari spun around her heel, taking slow steps toward the girl standing near the wall. "Meaningless existence... serving others, catering to their every whim, all for them." "Who the hell are you? Henrik Ibsen?" Asuka chided, the essence of the words lost in the emotionless tone. "Nothing for you... though it doesn't matter. You've made it clear that you hate dolls, so obviously, you must... hate yourself," Hikari explained to her. "I can't deny it." "So, why not just end it? Why go on suffering? Why not... kill yourself?" Her tone did not hold the least bit of friendliness, nor the least trace of detestation. It remained quiet, a spoken suggestion. "Because... as much as I hate myself... I hate _her_ worse," Asuka replied, eyes cast on the floor. "Who? Rei? Afraid of letting her 'win'?" Hikari nearly chided. "No," Asuka stated firmly, looking Hikari straight in the eyes. "She's already done that. There's someone more permanent..." Hikari's personal insight began to set in as she remembered the conversation in the car before they had arrived at her home. ******************** "Isn't it fun to watch your mother die before you? I hated it when I saw mine die," Ryouji said, as darkly-depraved as hell itself. Hikari's eyes went wide, though she wisely kept quiet. "I don't find _that_ insulting from a man who can't even keep his own promises. She can go ahead and keep her damned doll, anyway." Asuka laughed harshly. "Heh. At least _yours_ died happily. You haven't seen someone shot in front of your eyes." "And I doubt I need not, having seen the person who brought me into this God-forsaken world go insane and hang herself," Asuka replied sharply, smirking. "Like mother, like daughter." "All the better. 'One mustn't complain about what one likes... or dislikes...'" she quoted, shuddering. ******************** "For what?" Hikari resumed as the mental images raced through her mind, voce having softened somewhat in its firmness. "Choosing a doll over you?" "No... just for abandoning me. I..." Asuka suddenly stopped talking as she shrugged softly. "Oh, hell..." Hikari's voice was quiet and even. "You're my doll, Asuka. I'm telling you... to talk to me." "Even if I say no, I'm agreeing, aren't I..." She laughed spitefully. Hikari couldn't care less about Asuka's actions. Her natural instincts of kindness and concerns were perfectly masked; or perhaps, simply did not exist. Asuka shrugged once more. "I've already lost... so just let me do so peacefully. Go to sleep, Hikari. Your doll promises not to run away while you do." "No. I'd rather make you suffer," she replied softly, gazing down at the girl. "At least then you'd get something you want." "That depends on how you would try," Asuka responded, momentarily regaining her definitive smirk. Hikari placed a hand on her shoulder, an odd glint in her eye oppressive as she gazed at her. "Whatever will hurt you most..." "Just try, then." Hikari brought her hand to Asuka's cheek, and caressed it once. "This hurts you more than anything else..." Asuka promptly slapped her hand away. "No." "Then what does?" "If causing me all possible pain is what you want... you've already done it... so leave me in peace with myself." Hikari sighed softly. "You're an idiot. You know what I want." "Maybe I am... and maybe I do..." Asuka returned. "What do you think, Asuka?" "Rule as you have chosen," was the soft response. "Then, I'm choosing for you to think independently. What do you want?" "A doll can't make that choice." "But also... a doll can't make any choices. And... you've chosen to explain your perspective of being a doll." Hikari's voice fell to a quiet tone once more, eyes firm as she watched her counterpart. "You failed... again... Asuka." "I seem to do that often... these past two days." Her shoulders rose and fell softly in another shrug. Hikari's eyes closed and opened as she made another explanation. "Not a doll... but rather a fragile soul. You make and break yourself so easily, depending on your surroundings. This is why earlier I've been able to help you. You made that choice to accept it, though you could have refused." She turned around, shoulders shifting softly. "Another choice... by the human." "So... what do you want to take?" Asuka questioned. "Only what you want to give, though sharing is much better. Rather, I'm here to offer myself, if you want me. You did just a couple of hours ago." "Maybe I will again..." Asuka replied as the evening at the Katsuragi household briefly darted through her mind. "...But not now. Just... let me try and sort _something_ out first... before I keep my promise." "Your choice." Her expression remained unchanged as she walked to her bed, sitting softly upon it, keeping her eyes focussed on Asuka. Asuka nodded slowly, as her back came to rest against the wall. She breathed softly, eyes falling to the ground. A slow stream of tears began to fall from her eyes. Slowly her body slid down against the wall, until she landed on the ground. Soft sobs began to escape the girl as she lost herself in her utter depression, unfit for carrying on a conversation. She clutched her sides with her arms crossed in front of her, unable to do anything more. Hikari's expression remained unchanged. 'I'm... supposed to help her...' ------------------------------------ Rei watched Misato. Shinji watched Ryouji. "What?" the inferred adults asked. They were still holding hands as they stood in the middle of the living room. Rei's gaze fell to the joining that Misato and Ryouji were experiencing. She softly extended her hand to Shinji's and gave him a small tug in her general direction. Shinji leaned his head in closer, assuming whispering was in order. He was correct. "Our time is almost over..." Rei whispered softly. "Hmmm?" "Let's have what we still can." Shinji nodded as Rei tugged him closer. "You lead," he offered softly. "Please." "In need, Shin-chan?" Rei smile slightly as she took his other hand and began leading him to the balcony, around Misato and Ryouji who were still joined at the appendages "I guess..." he admitted. "But if I'm not... I know you'll find a way to correct the problem." He laughed softly, eliciting a dark glare from Ritsuko who continued to remain seated in the kitchen. Rei smiled softly. "Of course." The amplification of her voice fell. "Even that which I'm understanding... I find pleasure in it." She led him onto the balcony and slid the door closed behind them, leaving behind a mildly stunned and dumbfounded Misato and Ryouji. Ritsuko jumped to her feet as the door slid shut, red in the face, small groans leaving her tightly sealed mouth as she used all of her willpower to refrain from screaming. Unknowing of any of the adults' reactions, Rei led Shinji gently to the edge of the balcony. He questioned softly as the destination became closer, "So... how do we live out the remnants of the day?" Rei's stare held him in place as they stood next to the balcony's railing. She locked him in her look, staring into him as in search of the answer to some unspoken question, her red orbs shining softly in the darkness. "W... what?" Shinji asked a bit nervously, a bit softly. He blinked, held in place by her gaze as he had often been before. Rei's stare continued in undisturbed silence, until at last a small, soft smile appeared on her face. "You do not fear me, Shin-chan." "Nor do I intend to start." His gaze forcefully broke away from Rei, choosing to gaze out across the skyline at the city of Tokyo-3. "Ever." Rei's gaze remained on the boy before her. "You hold yourself to it even though you do not know the truth. Even though I am aware of how the mind can change..." She paused briefly, searching for the proper words. "I believe, that you won't leave me." "It's truth... That is, we are. To me... that's enough," he explained. Though his words sounded as if he was debating the subject, each one held the true meaning of what it stated. "Look at me," Rei said quietly. Shinji returned his gaze back to Rei, eyes locked intently on hers. "Don't doubt me, Rei... It hurts." "Does it sound like I'm doubting you?" "A little..." "Then... you must still get to know me... Or perhaps, I must know myself." Her voice softened, becoming more difficult to hear. "A change I hadn't expected is all that has fallen upon me... one which I have a desire to experience where once none existed." Shinji nodded. "I'm... glad I could help... ease that change." "It remains... confusing, but necessary. You as well have lived with a change." "With many more to come, I'm sure. Confused, yes... but it makes sense in a strange kind of way," he assured. 'I hope. Otherwise, I'm completely at a loss... and that would only hurt her.' "I understand. That would be... a way to describe it. Otherwise, I may find myself at a complete loss." "...That makes two." Rei's hand slowly went forward, sliding into Shinji's, grasping it softly. He nodded in acquiescence as she tugged him forward, a smile slowly appearing, complementing his slightly widened eyes as she nestled her body against his. He held her head to his shoulder, eyes growing distant as he became lost in thought. Rei smiled slightly, placing one arm around his lower back, gently squeezing the hand she held. "Do not fear what comes, Shin-chan," she affirmed softly. "I'll only fear it... if I can't correct it first..." Rei's head rose from his shoulder as it shook softly. "No." "What?" "You will not fear it, if that is what you have chosen. Correcting... comes afterward." "It's just... something I cannot choose or control before the fact. It's that feeling of an absolute _lack_ of power that really grates..." "You are safer to lack power, than to have an abundance of it." "A certain measure of power is always in order... no one should be powerless." Shinji subconsciously squeezed her shoulder as he continued to speak. "I don't desire an abundance of an ability to destroy." "The power to heal those you care about you already have. It is a part of your person. So, you are ready, for when the time is appropriate." The tone of her voice suddenly changed, becoming more quiet in its ferocity. "I won't let you be alone when that time comes. So wait... and you shall receive what you seek." A small smile crossed her lips as she continued to gaze in the complete opposite direction of Shinji. He nodded slowly, unsure if he comprehended. Rei released his hand and brought it to his cheek, turning his head gently toward her until it faced hers. "No lack exists where you think there is... It is merely the timing that prevents you from using it. I will talk to you when we have proper time. At this point... it would not help anyone, though it may hinder yourself." Shinji nodded again, then smiled. "What is it with you and 'the proper time'?" He laughed softly. Rei's visage made her seem to be somewhat lost in thought. "When the time comes, the events which are linked to it are enacted. It's simply... life in motion." She shook her head slightly. "Of course. I'll trust that to you, then." "Because... you know it." A full closed-lip smile became her as she tilted his head toward hers, soon met by him kissing her soft lips. Softly she pressed against his head as she straightened her back, standing more of her own accord rather than leaning on Shinji. Had Shinji's lips not been occupied, he would have smiled as she continued to nestle against him. She softly pushed him against the balcony, squeezing his back softly, rewarded by a soft murmur from Shinji. The hand still resting on the back of Shinji's neck fell downward, coming to grasp his neck softly. He gently gripped her back, mumbling somewhat incoherently as she took the action of having her back squeezed to move in closer, tightening the seal formed by their locked lips. Shinji's hands never left their position. Rei broke the bond formed between then, just enough so that she could move her lips to speak. Otherwise, she hadn't moved. Softly she questioned him, "What do you want to say?" "Doesn't matter." He was soon kissing her once more. Rei pushed against him softly, coming to a sudden stop as Shinji's body hit the railing, bent slightly over the edge. He quickly turned her, pressing her to the railing as his breathing quickened. She moaned slightly, a sharp gasp escaping as he pressed into her more firmly, pinning her more tightly against the railing. She gave his back a push toward her, her breathing increasing quickly. Shinji let up slightly, unsure of whether or not he was hurting her. He was answered as the hand on his neck tightened its grip for but a moment, then slowly made its way down his back, resting alongside her other. The kiss broke as Shinji drew two fingers gently from her temple to her chin. Rei's breath was soft as the path was traced on her skin. She watched him as he spoke softly, a smile upon his lips. "Told you you would." Rei's hand extended to his face, gently tracing the same path on his face that she had earlier; temple to chin. Shinji promptly kissed her again, arching her slightly against the top of the railing. She softly clasped her arms around his back, then without so much as a sound crushed him to her, breathing softly. Shinji rested in her hold, coming to stand on the tip of his feet to prevent from falling over with her and generating one of the worst disasters in the history of mankind. Rei leaned forward from where she was pinned to the railing, catching Shinji by surprise who rocked back on his heels, fell out of her grasp and landed on his back. Rei looked down at Shinji, who was rubbing his head softly from the shock, looking a little disoriented. She kneeled down beside him, her eyes locked intently on his. "Safer... perhaps." She smiled as she leaned over and kissed him once more, before he could have the opportunity to rationalize anything. Still floored on the ground, Shinji tipped Rei over from her kneeling position. She slowly maneuvered on top of him, laying flat as she gently traced one hand along his cheek. He quickly wrapped his arms around her at the motion, preventing her from falling off. And nothing more happened. Inside the house, Ritsuko's appearance complemented the fact that she was prepared to pop all of the major blood vessels leading to her face. Ryouji chanced some words. "Ritsuko... you shou---" "I should _what_?!" she yelled at him, cutting him off, frightening the grown man out of his wits. "Tell me, Kaji-_chan_... _what_ should I do?! Please, enlighten me!" Her hands alternated between open palmed and fisted. "Ummm..." Ryouji swallowed and waited for her hands to ball up into fists before proceeding. He quickly enveloped her fists with his hands and led her toward the kitchen. "Go this way." He gave Misato a fearful look, well expecting to be decked across the head by his captive. Ritsuko pulled out of his grip, turned and marched off in destination of Shinji's room to retrieve her lab coat. Ryouji sighed and hung his head as she disappeared. Misato complemented his sigh with her own. "We were worse." "So far, yes." She shook her head. "Much." "Doesn't give us much credit then, does it." Ryouji stated as Ritsuko marched back in. "At l---" "GoddamnitI'mgonnakillthemboth!" Ritsuko was seething a storm. Misato quickly began pushing Ritsuko in the direction of her room. "Now now Ritsu, you should change into uniform..." Ritsuko didn't budge an inch. "No chance in hell! I'll have to spend a month's worth of salary washing them first!" She threw her lab coat on the ground, then picked it back up again. "Better yet, I'll smother them in it. A fitting end for young lovers, wouldn't you say?" She headed for the kitchen with a maniacal glint in her eye. Misato glanced nervously at her remaining compatriot. "She's over-reacting, and she knows it." "That's what _you_ think!" Ritsuko shouted back from the kitchen, cutting Ryouji off for the third time in two minutes. "Is there something wrong with one of your five senses, Misato?" "Before I heard you being _nice_ with him, so quit the act now!" Misato snapped. "You washed your uniform earlier with the rest of the laundry, now put it on!" "Fine... fine... dress first... then I'll smother them to death in the smell of their own sin." She practically strutted to Misato's room with the parts of her NERV uniform which were actually _clean_ and wearable. Misato grinned nervously, a bead of sweat trailing down her forehead. "You wouldn't happen to have any sedatives in your car, would you Kaji?" "Nothing that won't knock her out for a couple of hours... and we don't have that kind of time. Sorry." He sounded authentically apologetic. "We'll have to make do, I guess. Time?" Ryouji looked up at the clock on the living room. "We've got to leave in about five minutes." Misato nodded. "We should start clearing out now. You go on ahead, I'll meet you downstairs with the others." "You worry about those two," he said, indicating Shinji and Rei on the patio. "I think someone had better be able to keep both eyes on Ritsuko right now, and those two will be more than enough for _one_ of us." "All right... I guess," Misato admitted somewhat dejectedly. "I'd rather we all leave alive. Kaji, can I trust you for a few minutes?" She turned around and headed for the bedroom before he could answer. 'I'll regret it.' "I'll be fine." He turned his head to regard the two Children on the balcony patio, both of whom were simply laying side-by-side, gazing up at the sky. 'Oh, I don't doubt that...' Misato thought as she walked down the hallway and slipped into her bedroom. Ritsuko was throwing clothes about rather than really getting ready, her back to the door as she did so. Misato blinked at Ritsuko's state of half-dress, a little unnerved by the frantic Ritsuko who was clothed only in her undergarments. "Changing clothes involves putting on the new ones after you take off the old ones.." Ritsuko muttered something under her breath as she slammed the borrowed sweater into the 'dirty' basket, which for Misato consisted of the majority of the room, thanks mostly to Shinji's absence in relation to taking care of the laundry. 'At least she knows where everything goes,' Misato rationalized. Amid the muttering, particular words and phrases managed to sound comprehendible. "How... completely wrong... couldn't... he'll... how dare... suffocate... throttle..." "Why does seeing the two of them together bother you so much anyway?" Misato inquired. 'Now he's got _me_ saying it...' Ritsuko continued her incoherent rant. "Annoying fake, imperfect... Must rectify that problem..." She glared up at Misato, at last choosing to speak with coherency. "Oh, nothing, Misato. Just that they did what you said they wouldn't." She smirked condescendingly. "So much for gut instinct" "They were just kissing. We saw that last night," Misato reasoned. Ritsuko whipped her lab coat at her. "This'll bring back some old memories, Misato." She followed up with dark laughter. "Yes, we saw that too..." Misato mused, sweating at the thought of the previous night. "But that's not what I'm asking you about. What is it so specifically about these two that bothers you so much? Is it their age? What?" "Oh, please..." Ritsuko began, completely disgusted. "It's completely improper, and you know it. Not to mention that it's quite liable to render Unit Two completely _useless_." "I mean, why so suddenly are you showing interest? Why do you care? There's got to be more to it then just tests and such." "Because! I won't compromise the survival of the human race because of those two _fools_!" Misato's eyes narrowed slightly, tone flattening somewhat. "What else are you hiding from me Ritsuko?" "Don't bother asking now, Misato," Ritsuko nearly spat as she drudged her blue blouse over her shoulders and zipped it sharply. "I'll answer questions again _during_, and preferably _after_ our little excursion, but _not_now_." Misato sighed softly. "All right, but stop complaining about this." She jerked her thumb in the direction of the bedroom door for emphasis. "The way you keep going on about it, you'd think you were jealous, which I know you're not." 'Maybe I am...' Ritsuko thought. 'Just on a completely different level.' She resumed her more reproachful negotiations. "Okay, just shut up and let me get dressed. And get out. It may be your room, but I won't be watched as I dress, thank you." "Nothing I haven't seen before." "That's beside the God damn point. Out." Misato chuckled slightly, but stepped out, closing the door behind her and waited outside for the green-eyed whirlwind. Ritsuko followed thirty seconds later, her uniform dress arranged upon her frame, with the exception of her lab coat which had been thrown into another corner of Misato's bedroom. Her skirt pocket bulged nearly unnoticeably with unknown contents. "That was fast," Misato commented. "Won't be cold?" "I decline the question. Let's go." Ritsuko followed Misato silently to the living room, met by one of Ryouji's infamous grins. "Well, I didn't expect anything quite that fast. Ever heard of taking your time? It's not like I drive _that_ slow, is it?" "You said five minutes," Misato deduced. "I want to get going in accordance with the clock." "Problem, Ryouji? Bored already?" Ritsuko chided. "Oh no, not at all. Just somewhat depressed... Misa-chan wouldn't let me come watch too." He smirked smugly. One of Ritsuko's high heels quickly smashed into his forehead. One of Misato's hands quickly smacked his right cheek. "Something between you two that I missed?" He chuckled, despite the slight stinging in his face. "Well, let's round up _those_two_." "We have to stop speaking about them as if their names are going to bring the end of the world... They do have names after all." She walked to the glass patio door, gazing out silently at the two Children whose hands were clasped between them, staring off into the sky. A slight smile crept upon her own face. Ryouji followed after her, taking the initiative to call out to 'those two'. "Shinji... Rei... It's time to go," mentally adding 'finally' to his bid. Both Children glanced up at Ryouji and Misato. They slowly made their way to their feet, and walked wordlessly into the apartment. Ryouji slid the door closed behind them and locked the latch. Ritsuko had once more adopted her calmer appearance, substituting her visage of general annoyance with a mask of scientific interest. Misato motioned toward the apartment's dual entrance and exit with her hand. "Come on. It's time to answer a few questions..." Shinji nodded in agreement. "Right." His hand quickly took hold of Rei's once more, squeezing it softly before he began making the lead toward the door. "Yes, Major." Contrary to Misato, Rei's demeanor was somewhat less enthusiastic, if this could even be considered a possibility considering she betrayed absolutely no emotion. She nonetheless followed alongside Shinji, the two disappearing together into the midnight darkness. Ryouji chuckled softly to himself. "I was right about at least one thing. They do make a cute pair." "Provided they aren't at each other, I'll give you that much," Ritsuko grumbled. "I would say that even if they were, but... oh, forget it. I'm not in the mood to get clunked again." He quickly herded the two women out and closed the door after him, receiving a smirk from Ritsuko as Misato clunked him for good measure. The clock struck midnight. ------------------------------------ TO BE CONTINUED... __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ APPENDIX I: JAPANESE SUFFIXES -sama: Your Worship - Extremely honorable term. -san: Mister, Miss - Honorable term. -kun: Similar to "young man"; fonder than -san, but not on the level of -chan - Reserved for males. -chan: Similar to "person we are fond of"; Cute / Young & Cute - Used often by close friends, children, or couples. __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ APPENDIX II: GERMAN TRANSLATIONS Mein: My Gott: God __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ APPENDIX III: REFERENCES Field of Dreams Lines 213-15: [Ryouji laughed once more. "Ritsuko, you can pull your hand out of your pants pocket now. Everyone's seen Field of Dreams before," he chided, grinning darkly.] Explanation: American Film -> 1989 - Reference by Kaji is made to a scene in which the main character (Kevin Costner) attempts to abduct a hermit-esque intellectual (James Earl Jones) and escort him to a baseball game by sticking one of his hands into a pocket and pretending he has a gun. J.E.J., of course, doesn't believe a word of it, but goes regardless. FIDE Ranking System Lines 1213-14: ['And I can't even tell who's the better player. Damn, this makes the World Chess Federation's FIDE rating system seem simple!'] Explanation: Simplified Description (Geoff Upchurch) - Each player is assigned a ranking based on the difficulty of the opponents they win or lose to. Beating a person of a sufficiently higher rating number will translate into a (relatively) large jump in one's own rating, while losing to that player may cost the loser two or three points on their rating. The reverse is also true, as beating a player of significantly lower skill would only warrant an addition of two or three points to the winner's rating. Original Sin Lines 5368-69: ['And the cause of the original sin dealt the judgement. How... ironic.'] Explanation: Holy Bible -> Old Testament -> Genesis -> Chapter 3 - In Brief: The serpent deceived the woman, Eve, to eat the fruit of the Tree of Wisdom. Eve then convinced the man, Adam, to eat the fruit. It is then that Man learned of good and evil. God had forbidden Man to eat of this tree, and for this disobedience, Man was expelled from Eden. The trials of Man were the consequence of this, the Original Sin. - Relevance: Ritsuko is referring to Adam (Man) who ate of the Tree of Wisdom and thus initiated the Original Sin, and of Adam (Angel) who was the source of the Second Impact and the 'cleanser' of the Original Sin. Henrik Ibsen Lines 8426-27: ["Who the hell are you? Henrik Ibsen?" Asuka chided, the essence of the words lost in the emotionless tone.] Explanation: b.March.20.1828 - d.May.23.1906 ; Norwegian dramatist & poet - Relevance: Hikari is describing Asuka with the characteristics of a doll - Asuka is making refernce to Ibsen's "A Doll's House" (Et dukkehjem), circa 1879, a play which brought Ibsen recognition around the world. This play, summarized, is about a woman who refuses to submit to her husband. __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ -> Scheduled Scenario Productions <- -------------------------------------- "Midnight Limited" & "Solbination Limited" Subsidiaries Design / Planning ------------------- James Grabowski - Sephirius Endymion, Rei Ikari - sephirius@iname.com Geoff Upchurch - Mien Diem, Shinji Ayanami - miendiem@netscape.net Authoring / Writing / Editing / Revising ------------------------------------------ James Grabowski - Sephirius Endymion, Rei Ikari - sephirius@iname.com Geoff Upchurch - Mien Diem, Shinji Ayanami - miendiem@netscape.net Script Editor --------------- James Grabowski - Sephirius Endymion, Rei Ikari - sephirius@iname.com Pre-Distribution Readers -------------------------- Mark Eymer - saotome@micron.net Shi Lin - silver_phoenix@usa.net Zhou Tai An - kain@pacific.net.sg Mark Aragona - aramark@philonline.com Addison Godel - agodel@ummagurau.com Emanuele Barone - e.barone@flashnet.it William Wells - pcwells@attcanada.net __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ Scheduled Scenario Productions [UNDERGOING CONSTRUCTION] - http://www.sephirius.tsx.org + "Scheduled Scenario Productions" Link (http://www.crosswinds.net/~sephirius/SSP) James Grabowski's Site [Endymion's Portal (Home of S.S.P.)] - http://www.sephirius.tsx.org (http://www.crosswinds.net/~sephirius) Geoff Upchurch's Site [Mien Diem's Anime Warehouse] - http://members.tripod.com/~Mien_Diem __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ Copyright 1998-1999 - James Grabowski & Geoff Upchurch Scheduled Scenario Productions __________________________________________________________________________