From: "Axel Terizaki" AN AMNESIC ANGEL... Written by Axel Terizaki ICQ # 34301980 ASUKA's Notebook Okay, this is my second work in English. I know my English had gotten better by the last chapters of "Child Of Love," but nothing's perfect, and this fic, like any of my creations, doesn't escape this rule. So that rude and pushy Canadian Dave Watson got ahold of it and retooled it (like he did with "Child of Love") on 1999 6 13, 14 & 21 & 7 10. This is version 1.3. Now, let's begin the show! -=WARNING: ANY SIMILARITIES OR LIKENESSES WITH ANY OTHER FANFIC BY THE SAME=- -= AUTHOR ARE PURE COINCIDENCE AND TOTALLY UNEXPECTED. Well, sort of=- -=FIRST MEMORY=- CAPTION: THE FIRST MEMORY CAPTION 2: The Accident Shinji : "Asuka! Move back!" Too late. Shinji's shouting didn't make the Second Child react in time. She was hit by the Angel's energy beam. Asuka : "NNNNNNNNNNNGG............" --- Central Command. Misato : "Asuka!" Makoto : "Pilot readings unstable!" Shigeru : "A-10 System not responding!" Ritsuko : "What's going on!?" Maya : "Sempai, all the displays are beginning to race!" Misato : "Ritsuko!" Ritsuko : "Disable all the neural connections between EVA-02 and its pilot!" Maya : "We can't! The signal is being refused from inside the plug!" Misato : "Cut the umbilical cable." The umbilical cable of the EVA-02 bursts from the mount on its back. But that doesn't stop Unit 02 from rushing towards the Angel with its progressive knife... Ritsuko : "...berserk?!" Makoto : "Unit-02, one minute of power left!" --- Shinji, who had been standing beside her, is horrified by what he's seeing, while Rei is in her customary emotionless state in her Unit 00, looking at what's happening right in front of her eyes. Shinji : "What...what the...?" The Angel tries to attack Unit 02 before it can do the same to him, but it doesn't succeed. Unit 02 reaches the Angel at an incredible speed and cuts it in pieces with the Progressive Knife, disabling its AT Field almost instantly, and then proceeding to hit its Koa repeatedly. Everyone is amazed by Unit 02's behaviour. Finally, after one minute of pure fury, Asuka's Unit 02 shuts down and peace and silence returns to the control room. Misato : "Send a recovery team, now!" Shigeru : "Right away, ma'am." Maya : "Ejection signal accepted by the Plug. Ejecting now." The back of Unit 02's neck moves, revealing the Entry Plug. It slides out of the EVA seconds later. --- Later. Two young girl's eyes open slowly in an hospital room. Asuka (whispering) : "What...my head..." She looked to her right and sees Shinji sitting in a chair by her bedside. Shinji gasps when he sees Asuka's head turn towards him. He fears the worst from the usually-unpredictable Second Child. Shinji (standing up) : "Hm...err...sorry...I'm leaving now...I was just...just keeping an eye on you...err...Misato's orders...nothing else, okay? Sorry..." Asuka : "Hey, what are you apologizing for, kid?" That last word strikes Shinji's mind like a big hammer. Shinji : "...'kid'? Why are you calling me that, Asuka?" Asuka : "Asuka? Who's that? I don't see anybody else here." Shinji is in shock. Asuka : "Hey, answer me, Baka! That's your name, right? I know you... Baka is your name, right?" Shinji's feelings are mixed between wanting to laugh heartily and wanting to jump up and run away. However, neither of those feelings won the fight in his mind. Shinji : "Asuka...are you...are you...?" Asuka : "Are you *WHAT*? And who is this *Asuka* you're talking about?" Shinji (to himself) : "She must be making fun of me again...well, two can play that game!" (To Asuka:) "Okay, what's your name, little girl?" Asuka : "What? Do you think I'm stupid? My name...is....ach, mein Gott..." Shinji : "Then what's your name?" She sits up in her bed, curls up into a ball, and starts to cry. Shinji : "Sorry, Asuka...I didn't mean to make you cry, okay? I was just..." Asuka : "Damn! I can't remember a thing! Not even my name!!! That can't be! My head! It hurts so bad! Where am I?" Shinji is now really puzzled... Shinji : "You...you can't remember anything?!" Asuka (still crying) : "Just like I said, Baka. Now get out of my room!" Shinji : "You sure? I mean..." Asuka : "Get out!!" Shinji then proceeds to the door and opens it. Before he can shut the door, however... Asuka : "What's your name?" Shinji (ironically) : "You said it yourself, I'm Baka." Asuka : "No, that's not your name, I'm sure of that. Baka was just the first word that came into my mind when I saw you. What I want to know is your REAL name." Shinji : "Shinji. Ikari Shinji." Asuka : "Shinji...Baka Shinji...Damn! That hurts!!!" Shinji doesn't move from the hospital hallway. As he's about to shut the door, he hears a faint voice--almost a whisper--coming from the red- headed EVA Pilot. Asuka : "Please... tell...me. What's my name...?" Shinji approaches her hesitantly, leans over her, and says something softly into her left ear, in an almost reassuring and comforting voice. Shinji : "Your name is Asuka. Sohryu Asuka Langley, okay? Try not to forget it again." Asuka : "...thank you, Baka...err...I mean, Ikari-kun. Sorry." Shinji was used to being called 'Ikari-kun' by Rei, but definitely not by Asuka. It was almost disturbing to him. Shinji : "'Shinji' or 'Baka' will be alright, 'Sohryu-san.'" Asuka : "Then call me Asuka if you want me to call you Shinji. And since Asuka is my name, I guess I should get used to it right now..." Shinji : "Well, I'm coming back with Misato-san, okay?" Asuka : "Mi...Misato...that sounds familiar...but I can't place any face on that name! What's going on!? My head hurts!" Shinji : "I just hope we'll find out. Get some rest, okay? I'll come back soon." Asuka : "Shinji...I don't know who you are and I kinda wish I could find out by myself, but...thank you." Shinji smiles and disappears into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. --- Major Katsuragi's office. Misato : "She's *WHAT*?" Shinji : "Yes, Misato-san...she's not making fun of me like she usually does, so that's what I think." Misato : "Asuka? Amnesia? Our Asuka?" Shinji : "I'm serious here. She couldn't even recall my name when she saw me. First, she thought that my name was 'Baka'..." Misato has a wide smile on her face and she tries to keep herself from laughing at that, but she settles down when she sees that Shinji isn't smiling about it. Misato : "Hmm, it could be mental contamination with the Eva... I'll ask Ritsuko about this." Shinji : "Is that serious?" Misato : "If that's what it is, she may not be able to pilot Unit 02 again." Shinji looks away a little. Knowing Asuka, that WOULD be serious. Misato : "Okay, we'll go visit her. I'm gonna call Ritsuko." --- Back in the hospital room. Asuka was looking at herself in a mirror when Shinji and Misato entered. Asuka : "This is...me?" She puts a hand on her cheek. Asuka : "Yes. This is me..." Shinji : "...Asuka?" Asuka : "Y-yes?" She turns around to see Shinji and Misato. Asuka gasps when she sees her and tries to move back for some reason. Shinji (smiling) : "Don't be afraid. She's a friend." Asuka calms down after hearing these words. Misato : "Asuka...can you remember anything?" Asuka : "Who are you?" Misato : "Well, I guess the answer is 'no'..." Asuka : "I don't know you, Miss...?" Misato (smiling) : "I'm Katsuragi Misato, Major of Tactical Operations and your guardian." Asuka : "My...guardian? Where are my parents? Family? Does this mean I'm...I'm..." Shinji looks down. He couldn't answer that question now. Asuka (trembling) : "I'm...alone?" Misato (trying to find something proper to say) : "Asuka, you belong to a military organization. All your data has been erased. You have no parents, no past, nothing left. Only you, me, Shinji, and Rei." Asuka : "I see...I'm some sort of soldier. A secret agent, perhaps?" Misato (smiling at the question) : "No, not exactly. Can you stand up? I want to show you something." Asuka : "Well, I don't think I have any choice." Misato : "Good. Come on." --- A few moments later, Asuka follows Misato and Shinji down the hallways of Central Dogma. They're heading for the place Asuka should be most familiar with. --- EVA-02 Cage. Asuka (looking up at her Unit 02) : "Wh...what is *this*?!" Misato : "This is your Evangelion Unit 02, Asuka." Asuka : "My...E-vange-what?!" Misato : "In other words, you're the designated pilot of this robot." Asuka : "Me? Piloting this *thing*? You're crazy, Major Katsuragi!" Misato (smiling) : "Call me Misato, Pilot Sohryu." Asuka : "I can't pilot THIS thing! You must be joking!" Misato : "But there is the threat of Angels. You have to pilot, or we will all be killed by these invaders..." Asuka : "So, let me see if I've got this right: I'm a pilot, who has to pilot a giant robot, against giant things from space, with giant weapons, in a giant city, and WITH A GIANT HEADACHE!!!?" Misato (cheerfully) : "Brilliant analysis!" Asuka : "YOU *ARE* JOKING!!! I'm not gonna do it!" Misato (softly) : "Shinji is an Eva Pilot, too, you know." Asuka (turning her head towards Shinji) : "You...we do the same job?" Shinji : "Y-yes. My Unit-01 is here too." Asuka : "You can do it? Isn't it hard? Aren't there many things to learn?" On one hand, Shinji wants to tell her how painful and hard it is to pilot an Eva, from his point of view, of course. But, on the other hand, he has to help Misato encourage Asuka to get back into her own Eva. Shinji (smiling) : "Well, not really. You basically just have to think about what you want to do, and the Eva obeys. It's as simple as that!" Asuka : "Really?" Shinji : "Yes." Pause. Asuka : "You are sincere. I can believe you." She turned back towards Misato. Asuka (now determined) : "Okay. I'll do it. I'll pilot this robot!" Misato (smiling warmly) : "Welcome back to active duty, Asuka!" Ritsuko walks in through another doorway. Ritsuko : "So here's our amnesic pilot." Asuka (looking at Ritsuko) : "Wait, don't tell me anything! Let me guess! You're a doctor, right?" Ritsuko : "Right." Asuka : "And...what may I call you, ma'am?" Ritsuko : "Ritsuko. Ritsuko Akagi. So you're really amnesic...I guess you wouldn't lie to a scientist like me." Misato (to Shinji) : "You were right..." Shinji : "Well, I thought it was a joke at first." Misato : "But it's really worse than that." Shinji : "I understand." --- Misato's car. Misato is driving Shinji and Asuka, who are in the back seat, home. Asuka : "What is this city? Why are there buildings above us?" Shinji : "We're in the Geofront, and this is Tokyo-3." Asuka : "Why are we living underground? Is there something scary on the surface?" Shinji : "Well, Tokyo-3's a fortress city designed to intercept Angels." Asuka (puzzled) : "Angels? Major Katsuragi said something about them earlier but I can't remember well." Shinji : "We're fighting against them with the help of the Evangelions." Asuka : "Evangelions...those giant robots I just saw?" Shinji : "Yes. And *we*--you, Rei and I--are protecting this city, and mankind." Asuka : "Whoooaa! A real science fiction story! I'm someone special, if I understand correctly, right?" Shinji : "Yeah, sort of..." Asuka : "Tell me, Shinji..." Shinji : "Y-yes?" Asuka : "Are we safe in the Evangelion? How does it work? Tell me. I'm dying to know!" Shinji : "Well, as far as I can see, EVAs communicate with your mind and you feel what they feel. If...hmm...I mean, you imagine yourself walking, then the Eva walks. The scary part is, that when the Eva feels pain, you feel the same thing but your body isn't wounded." (softly, to her) "Once I thought my arm had been cut off, but it wasn't...I only thought it was because my Eva had lost its arm too. But my arm is still there. You see?" Asuka : "It's like a double-edged sword, then..." Shinji : "In other words, yes." Asuka : "Shinji..." Shinji : "Yes?" Asuka : "...never mind. I probably don't want to know yet. Maybe later." --- They arrive at Misato's apartment. Misato opens the door, and Asuka steps in. Asuka : "A familiar place. I can tell that I've been here before." Misato : "Actually, it's your home, Asuka. It's our home." Asuka : "'Our'? I live with you? Oh, that's right, you're my guardian. I understand..." She lowers her head, as if she's disappointed. Asuka : "And...what about you, Shinji?" Shinji : "What about me?" Asuka : "Where do you live?" (to herself:) "Not too far, I hope." Shinji : "Well, this is my home too, you know. We live together like a family." Asuka's face suddenly (and to Shinji and Misato's big surprise) lights up with joy when she hears this. Asuka : "Together? Really?" Pause. Asuka (happily) : "Well, Shinji, will you show me the way to my room?" Misato (can of beer in hand) : "Come on, Shinji! Show her around the premises!" Shinji (looking at Misato) : "Okay." Shinji shows Asuka the way to the bathroom, the kitchen, and finally they end up at the door of her own room, with the "Asuka's Room" plaque on it. Asuka : "So...this is *MY* room..." She puts a hand on the doorknob. But after she turns it a little, she decides not to open the door to her room. Shinji : "What's going on?" Asuka : "Damn...my head hurts. No...I can't enter this room. Not now..." Shinji : "Why not?" Asuka : "I sense...something. I just can't tell what it is. I have a bad feeling about this room. That's all." Shinji : "You want me to go in there with you?" Asuka : "Would you do that? I know I'm afraid but...well, I have to overcome it sometime! You're right, I'm no coward! And this headache is not too hard to live with, for now. Okay, I'm going in, now!" She finally opens the door, steps in and looks around. Asuka : "My room...my bed...my desk..." She opens her wardrobe. Asuka : "So these are my clothes...hmmm...I have good taste!" Shinji : "I should leave now. This is your private space, after all." Asuka : "No...please stay a little longer...I feel better when you're near me." Shinji (to himself) : "What?" She looks on the floor and sees that many of her belongings are lying there. Asuka : "Boy, what a mess..." Suddenly, Misato calls from the kitchen: Misato : "Asuka, Shinji! Dinner is ready!" Shinji : "Oh gosh...I forgot that it was Misato's turn to cook!" Asuka : "Why are you giving me that horrified look? Is there something wrong? Is Ma-, er, Misato's cooking really bad or something?" Shinji continues to stare at her with the same disgusted look. Asuka : "Oh. It's *that* bad? And I bet I haven't eaten anything for a few hours now..." --- Dinner (well, *Misato's* dinner). Asuka doesn't really eat anything. First, because Misato's cooking wasn't very appetizing, and second, because, all things considered, she isn't that hungry (note that the second may be mostly a consequence of the first). She then retreats to her room shortly after that. Shinji : "...this definitely isn't the Asuka we used to know..." Misato : "You mean, because she's nice to you?" Shinji : "Y-yes...in particular, because of that..." Misato : "You know, I think it's because she forgot what happened to her when she was small..." Shinji : "I won't ask. I bet it's another painful story." Misato : "You're guessing right..." Pause. Misato : "A few minutes ago she seemed happy to be with you in this apartment." Shinji : "I noticed that, too...and I made her change her mind about the Eva." Misato : "You're the first person she saw after she woke up...please try to understand her, Shinji-kun. She must feel like a stranger in a strange world, and she doesn't know anyone around here...it must be horrible for her." Shinji : "I think I see what you mean." Misato : "You have to be there for her, Shinji-kun..." Shinji gives her a puzzled look. Misato (fumbling) : "No, I didn't mean that, like, you have to love her! More like as a friend. We have to do anything we can to help her recover her memory, okay?" Shinji : "Okay..." Misato : "Tomorrow, you have harmonics tests scheduled. I'll talk with Ritsuko and she'll cancel them. Then you'll have plenty of time to show her around Tokyo-3, the school, the neighborhood. Try to show her photographs we took, too. That might help her..." Shinji : "I noticed that, every time she tried to remember something, she said that her head hurt." Misato : "Well, forget about the photographs, then..." Shinji : "But I can try." Misato : "Besides, we don't have much time to train pilots, you know... If she could recover her memory, it would be better for all of us." Shinji : "Okay." --- Later that night. Shinji isn't really sleeping well. In fact, he's lying awake thinking instead of sleeping...he had just sat up in his bed when he hears some strange footsteps. Shinji : "Who's there?" Asuka : "Hmm...damn, I knew this wasn't the right thing to do. Sorry. I'll go back to my room now...have a good night." Asuka is standing at Shinji's door, in a nightdress. He notices that her last words had a bit of a disappointed tone. Shinji : "No...you can stay...I wasn't really sleeping, you know. You want to talk?" Asuka : "Well...y-yes..." Shinji's not used to the mighty Asuka having problems with words. Shinji : "Well, come in and sit down, then." Asuka : "If you don't mind..." She then sits down, at his side, on the bed. Shinji : "So what do you want to talk about?" Asuka : "I don't know where to start..." Shinji (trying to put her at ease) : "Come on, I'm your friend, aren't I?" Asuka (smiling) : "Shinji...I...I want to ask you a favor." She's quite visibly nervous. Shinji : "Hey, you don't have to be so nervous, you know. What do you want from me, then?" Asuka (giving him her best kawaii look; you know, that one no male on Earth can resist?) : "Can I...can I sleep with you tonight?" Shinji : "WHAT?! Sl-sleep with m-me?!" Now he's the one who's nervous. Asuka : "Please...I want to be with someone...not alone. I-I just had a nightmare...please..." Shinji (to himself) : "Wow. This is like a child asking her parents to chase the bogeyman away. Strange." (to Asuka:) "A...nightmare? You want to tell me about it?" Asuka : "Well...I was little, and I was running and telling everybody around me that I was someone special. That I was chosen to pilot an Eva and...I opened a door...and saw someone hanging from the ceiling... God, it was horrible..." (sobbing:) "I don't know who it was, but I felt so sad, I wanted to cry and I..." Seeing that she's on the verge of crying, Shinji stops her. Shinji : "It's okay, you're awake now, I'm here, and you're all right... nothing like that happened, okay?" Asuka (with a tearful voice) : "Thank you, Shinji. You're so sweet to me. And I called you a baka a few hours ago. I feel so ashamed..." Shinji : "That's no problem. I'm used to be called that, you know..." Asuka : "Really? Who's calling you that!? I'm gonna hit him!" Shinji hesitates a second or two before answering. Shinji : "Actually...it was you who used to call me 'baka' before your, um, accident." Asuka (horrified) : "I did *that* to you? Was I mean to you? Why did I...I must have been crazy to treat you like...like shit! I'll never forgive myself!" Tears start coming back... Shinji : "It's all right, really. Now, calm down...and just relax here." He gestures to the space beside him on the bed. Asuka (happily) : "So, you'll let me sleep here? Oh, thank you, Shinji!" She then quickly climbs over to the place he showed her and pulls the sheets over herself. Although Shinji feels really uneasy with a girl in his bed, he tells himself that he's doing this for her own good, without any other motives...well, he tries to tell himself that. Asuka : "I know that it's not really right for a girl and a boy to sleep in the same bed, but...I just need to, sorry." Shinji : "There's nothing to apologize for. I understand how you feel." Shinji turns away from Asuka in order to not have to face her in bed. She wraps her arms around his waist and presses her body against his back. Asuka : "Like that...I feel so much better...you're warm." Shinji : "You, too." Asuka : "Tell me, Shinji. Have you...errr...well...I know it isn't really...well...do you have a girlfriend?" Shinji (stunned) : "A...girlfriend...?" Asuka : "I mean...it must be the Rei you were talking about a few hours ago, right? She must be a great girl, the way you talk about her. I'd like to meet her." Shinji : "Well, actually..." Asuka : "She must be your girlfriend...sorry for asking. I know I shouldn't have. How embarrassing..." Shinji : "...she isn't my girlfriend." Asuka (grinning) : "Someone else, then? A cute boy like you MUST have one! Or...is it me, by any chance?" Shinji : "I don't have a girlfriend at the moment." Asuka (happily) : "Really!? Then...will you let me be yours?" Shinji (stunned again) : "What!?" Asuka : "Shhh...I just want to. I can't help it. I feel safe when I'm with you. And...I know I can trust you, and only you...in this strange world." Shinji : "What gave you that idea?" Asuka : "You're so nice to me...and, you were there when I woke up. That's the proof that you care for me. I'm sorry if this is too much for you to handle. If you can't help me...I'll just leave, don't worry." Shinji : "No...that's not what I'm trying to say..." Pause. Shinji : "If you were to recover your memory, I really don't know how'd you react..." Asuka : "Why? Why are you saying this?" Shinji : "The Asuka I knew wasn't so lovely and desirable...when she was with me." Asuka (chuckling) : "Baka...oops, I said it again!" Shinji : "Don't worry about it." Asuka : "Anta baka? I like to call you that, but it's not very nice to you." Shinji : "As I said, if you were to get your memory back...you wouldn't want to be my girlfriend anymore..." Asuka : "Then I don't want to remember." Shinji : "What are you saying?" Asuka : "Too painful..." Shinji : "What?" Asuka (in a sad, faint voice) : "I feel like the way I used to be was too painful. And if remembering everything...were to mean that I couldn't be with you anymore, I don't want to remember, ever." Shinji : "Don't say that, Asuka. You will remember, sooner or later." Shinji can hear Asuka's soft breathing behind him. He now knows that she's fallen asleep. Shinji (to himself) : "At least, I now know what the real Asuka is...a cute and kind normal young girl...don't worry about anything, Asuka, I'll be there." --- TO BE CONTINUED. Don't miss the next episode: Familiarization. Author's notes: Well, I was asking myself what I could write after "The Child Of Love." Now, I know! :-) I hope you like this new fic! I don't know where it'll take me, but I know one thing: It will be shorter than "The Child Of Love"... Anyways, thanks to all my pre-readers: Alain Gravel (author of "The One I Love Is...", damn good!), Al-l-Bus (author of "Imagine Normality?"), Borderline Case (author of "Reflections In Red"), EBJ, Eva_Pilot00, Greg Thomas, Kaoru Nagisa (author of "EvaLeSs"), Jon Byram (author of "Holy Knights"), Readiosys Fisher (author of "Unfamilliar Fearings"), Shinji The 10 O'clock Assassin (author of "Many Fanfics" :-) ), Dave Watson ("Victory," "Child of Love" retooling), Sudhoya'da, Sushi Boy, and Sammy Sy. Thanks to you all, and thanks to all the people who read my fics! See ya soon, Axel Terizaki -- AxelT - ICQ# 34301980 ASUKA's Notebook ---Asuka : "Rien ne sera plus comme avant, Hikari! Je suis une mère maintenant! Tu ne peux pas comprendre CA! J'ai des responsabilités! J'ai quelqu'un à protèger, [...] Teri compte vraiment beaucoup pour moi, tu sais...Je l'aime tellement! Même si elle n'est pas encore là, j'aime ma fille!" D'aprés "The Child Of Love", fanfiction sur Evangelion Huitième Mois de la grossesse de Sohryu Asuka Langley. From: "Axel Terizaki" AN AMNESIC ANGEL... Written by Axel Terizaki ICQ # 34301980 ASUKA's Notebook Retooled by Dave Watson , 1999 6 14 & 7 10-11. -=SECOND MEMORY=- Background: What a surprise! After a raging battle against an Angel, Asuka's now amnesic; in other words, she can't remember anything about her past. When she awakened, she first saw Shinji and now seeks protection and comfort from him. Could you imagine yourself waking up in an hospital room, seeing unknown faces in an unknown place, with giant robots fighting against giant creatures? Asuka doesn't want to remember anything, feeling that her old life was nothing but pain...and afraid that she'd lose the closeness she now feels with Shinji if she did. Will she succeed in finally forgetting her hard past? Will she fully recover her memory instead? Will Shinji help her? Does anyone know where that damn Evangelion MP3 CD is that I've been trying to find in my messy room for one week now? --- CAPTION: THE SECOND MEMORY CAPTION 2: Familiarization --- Misato's apartment. Misato : "Come on, Shinji, get up now! It's time! And there's NO breakfast! I'm hungry! Get up now and cook something, please??" Misato is standing in the hallway, knocking on Shinji's door. Misato : "I'm coming in!" She opens the door, and almost immediately, her jaw drops at the sight in front of her. Asuka is in Shinji's bed, holding him gently from behind. She's smiling broadly as if she's in the safest place in the world. Shinji quietly wakes up and sees Misato in front of him. Misato is speechless for s few minutes. Shinji : "Mi...Misato-san! I can explain! It's not what you..." Misato (shouting) : "*WHAT* ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THE SAME BED!!?" Shinji : "Ssshhhh...you'll wake her up!" Misato : "But...!" Too late. Asuka has awoken, thanks to Misato's outburst. Asuka (opening her eyes and sitting up) : "Ma...M...I'm sorry..." Misato : "Now tell me, what are you two doing in the same bed!?" Shinji : "Really, it's nothing..." Asuka lowers her head, stands up, then slowly walks out of the room. This silences Misato. Asuka is now behind her. Asuka (not even looking at her) : "I'm sorry, Major Katsuragi. I was just...I was just...I was...oh..." And with that, she runs to her room and shuts the door behind her. Pause. Shinji : "Misato-san." Misato : "I know..." Shinji : "How could you? She's already afraid of this world and you scared her like that!" Misato : "Well, I guess that I thought with my Major side...and a pregnant pilot was the worst-case scenario that came to my mind when I saw you two." Shinji : "Nothing like that happened, Misato-san. Don't worry about that." Misato (sighing) : "What a relief..." Shinji leaves his room without saying anything else and heads towards Asuka's. Misato (to herself, lowering her head) : "Well done, Misato. You really are a complete idiot." --- Asuka's room. Shinji enters silently and sees Asuka curled in a fetal position on her bed, just like she was when she was in the hospital yesterday. Asuka : "She doesn't like me, does she?" Shinji (sitting beside her) : "She loves both of us, Asuka. But, you know, Misato-san's a Major. She's responsible for our well-being. She has to assure her seniors that nothing will happen to us. Like, well... if we...err...did something wrong, and...I had gotten you pregnant, I don't know how my father would have reacted..." [Author's note: Heh heh...*I* know how he would have reacted... :-) ] Asuka : "Your father...? You have parents? But you are like me, a pilot. So why do you have your parents and not me?" Shinji : "My father...is the commander of NERV, the organization we belong to." Asuka : "Oh. I see. And your mother?" Shinji (lowering his head) : "She...disappeared when I was young." Asuka (sadly) : "I'm sorry...I think I understand how you feel, but I don't see why. I'm sorry for asking you this..." Shinji : "Well, that's not important. I didn't have the time to tell you something I should have a few minutes ago." Asuka : "What is it?" He takes his time to place himself in front of her face, look right into her eyes and smile. Shinji (softly) : "Good morning, Asuka." Asuka (smiling warmly, a little surprised) : "Guten morgen, Shinji." And then she immediately gives him a confused look. Shinji : "What's wrong?" Asuka : "Why did I just talk to you in German? I'm Japanese, right?" Shinji : "Well, as far as I know, you come from Germany." Asuka : "Deutschland? I...I remember..." A flash of light strikes Asuka's mind as she sees a glimpse of a door opening. Her vision then returns to normal. She looks at the floor. Shinji : "Asuka! Are you okay?" Asuka : "Yes...I think..." Shinji : "You scared me! Your eyes got so...empty all of a sudden." Asuka : "I feel better now, thanks." Shinji : "You should go to the bathroom and take a bath now. You'll feel a lot better. And besides, today I'm going to show you around the city a bit. And this afternoon, we'll go to school, okay?" Asuka (startled) : "School?" She gives him a puzzled look. Asuka : "SCHOOL!?" Shinji : "Y-yes, school..." Asuka : "Wait a sec. We have to protect mankind--well, that's what I understand--and on top of all that we HAVE to go to SCHOOL!?? I can't believe this!" Shinji (shrugging) : "We are normal teens, after all." Asuka (reluctantly) : "Oh, god...I think I hate school..." --- Asuka then gets up and heads for the bathroom to take a nice hot bath. However, Misato is in the way. Shinji was just behind Asuka when they left her room. Misato : "Hmmm, well...Asuka, I'm sorry for scolding you this morning. I was just hungry and...well, when I'm hungry, I get really cranky. Sorry, Asuka...and sorry, Shinji-kun. I just lost my temper. I'm leaving now. Have a good day, okay?" Asuka : "It's my turn to apologize, Major. I just wanted to--" Misato (smiling and interrupting her) : "Hey, Asuka...how many times do I have to tell you? Call me 'Misato.' It's my name, after all." Asuka : "Sorry about that, too, Mi...Misato. I hope I'll get it right soon." Misato (smiling warmly) : "Don't worry too much about it, Asuka. I have to go now, or Ritsuko will kill me if I'm too late." Shinji : "You sure you don't want something to eat? I thought you were hungry." She's about to pass through the doorway. Misato : "I'll grab something on the way to HQ, don't worry. I can't stop to eat now, or I'll be VERY late..." Shinji : "..." Misato (winking and grinning at him) : "Don't take advantage of her, Shinji-kun..." Shinji is blushing heavily. This greatly amuses Asuka, and she giggles. Misato then shuts the front door behind her, laughing. --- A few minutes later. Shinji is preparing breakfast for Asuka in the kitchen. Asuka (calling out from the bathroom) : "Shinjiiii!!!" Shinji (walking to the door) : "Yes? What is it, Asuka? Do you need something?" The reply took some time to come. Asuka (in a kawaii voice) : "Can you come in and wash my back, please?" Shinji (stunned anew) : "W-WHAT!? I...I..." Asuka (seductively) : "Yeah...I want you to come in and help me with this wet, slippery soap..." Shinji : "B-but...but...you..." Asuka bursts out laughing. Shinji can't believe his ears. Asuka : "Okay, sorry, Shinji! I was making fun of you. I'm sorry. I just wish I could have seen your face at that moment. It must have been great!" Shinji (grinning and pretending he hadn't heard Asuka) : "Okay, I'll be right in!" Shinji then hears a little splash coming from inside the bathroom. Asuka (frightened) : "W-what? You mean...you're gonna do it!? You pervert! Don't enter this bathroom!" Shinji (laughing) : "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!" Asuka (giggling) : "Okay, I'm gonna kill you later! Brace yourself!" --- Of course, Shinji goes right back to the kitchen after that exchange. Inside the bathroom, Asuka is laying back in the bath, looking at the ceiling. Asuka : "This Ikari Shinji..." She smiles. Asuka : "He's kind and sweet...I think I like him." --- After a while, she leaves the bathroom and goes back to her room to get dressed. Afterwards, she walks up to Shinji's room, opens the door, and finds him listening to his SDAT. Asuka : "Shinji!" Shinji, hearing Asuka's voice, takes out his earbuds. Shinji : "Yes?" Asuka : "May I come in?" Shinji : "Of course." She walks in, wearing her school uniform. Asuka : "How do I look in this?" Shinji : "I'd say I find you as cute as usual." Asuka (smiling) : "Thank you." Pause. Asuka : "Then, where are we going this morning?" Shinji : "Well, I think I'm gonna show you the city and how to get to NERV HQ in case of emergency. And, after that, we'll go to school." Asuka : "That's okay with me. Well, I think." Pause. Asuka : "I'm sorry, when I was taking my bath...I made fun of you..." Shinji : "Well, it did remind me very much of your old self." Asuka : "But I must admit that making fun of you is amusing!" Shinji : "The old Asuka thought the same thing, you know..." Asuka : "I may be starting to recover my memories. Who knows?" Shinji : "Yeah, maybe..." --- The two teens leave the apartment. Shinji shows Asuka the principal places he thinks she might have gone to before her accident, like the mall, and the gateways to the Geofront. Then, the time to go to school finally came. They're walking side by side. Asuka : "So, what's the schedule for this afternoon in class?" Shinji : "Usually, we have history, PE and then more history..." Asuka (releasing a slightly frustrated sigh) : "Oh...a boring after- noon, then?" Shinji : "You'll see for yourself." Asuka : "And, do I have friends? I mean, at school?" Shinji : "Oh, yes! I'm so stupid that I didn't think about mentioning our friends..." Asuka : "*Our* friends?" Shinji : "Well, yeah. First there's the Class Representative, Hikari Horaki. She's your best friend. At least, I think she is, since you're always hanging out with her." Asuka : "Damn, I'm her best friend and I can't remember it. That's so embarrassing..." Shinji : "And then, there are Toji and Kensuke, my two friends. You're not as close to them as I am, so try to ignore them. It would be better for everyone." Asuka : "Why should I ignore them? They may be nice. If they're your friends, they're mine, too." Shinji : "Actually, you really disliked them." Asuka : "What kind of bitch was I!?" Shinji (chuckling) : "You were a real one, all the way!!" Asuka (chuckling, too) : "Baka!" Asuka takes Shinji's hand in hers. This surprises him. Asuka : "How do you feel?" Shinji : "How do *I* feel? What do you mean?" Asuka : "I mean, with my hand in yours..." Shinji : "It's not very...usual coming from you. I don't think you've ever really touched me before." Asuka : "Ah? It's strange that I didn't do this before...it feels nice." Shinji : "Well, I think I feel the same way." He then sees that they're in front of their school. --- In class, five minutes before the end of lunch time. Shinji and Asuka are about to enter the classroom. Shinji : "Asuka..." Asuka : "What?" Shinji : "Could you...?" We can see that she's still holding his hand tightly. Asuka : "Could I what?" Shinji : "...please let go of my hand?" Asuka : "Why? Is there a problem with us holding hands while walking into our classroom?" Shinji : "Not at all, from my point of view, but the others are gonna think weird things." Asuka : "And? I don't care at all about that! Why are you so con- cerned about what other people may think of you? Are you ashamed of me? Is that it?" Shinji thinks a little bit about it. His expression then hardens a little. Shinji (determined) : "No, I'm not. Not at all. You're right, Asuka. I'm going in there with you, hand in hand! Please forgive me for thinking like that just now." Asuka (giggling) : "Ah, I'm relieved! You're forgiven, don't worry!" Pause. Asuka : "And don't worry, Shinji. If anyone has a problem with me holding your hand, I'll beat the living schiest out of them!!" Shinji (a bit frightened, to himself) : "The living *what*?" --- They walk in, hand in hand. Toji turns around to see Shinji. His face lights up and he starts talking. Toji : "Hi, Shinji! How was the last bat...AAAAAARRRRRR!!?" He lets out a stiffled cry. Asuka : "What's going on...?" Shinji (whispering to her) : "Remember what I told you, about the hand...?" Asuka stomps up to Toji with an angry look on her face, still drag- ging Shinji with her, in front of an entire speechless class. Asuka : "And what's the PROBLEM with ME holding SHINJI's hand!?" Toji handles this question with his usual level of sensitivity. Toji : "It's just so unusual coming from the Red-headed Bitch." Asuka (fuming) : "The Red-headed WHAT!!? Watch your mouth, dickhead!" Shinji (trying to calm her) : "Asuka...it's Toji..." Asuka (voice full of disdain) : "Ha! Now I understand why I don't like THIS damn fool!" Kensuke : "Huh?" Asuka : "And you, four-eyes!? Do YOU have something against me holding Shinji's hand?" Kensuke (trying desperately to calm her down) : "No, nothing at all..." Asuka : "Good!" She then turns back to face Shinji. Asuka (now calm) : "Shinji? Where's my seat?" Shinji (showing her her seat, near the wall) : "There." Asuka : "Thanks." Kensuke and Toji are speechless, like everyone else in the class who saw the scene. While Asuka settles herself at her desk, Shinji goes up to his two friends and talks with them. Toji : "What happened to her!?" Kensuke : "And how was your last battle?" Shinji : "Well...listen carefully, and try to understand, please. She's got amnesia." Toji : "She's *WHAT*?!" Kensuke : "A-amnesia?!" Shinji : "Ssssshhhhhh...I have orders from Misato to help her to recover her memories, so, if you could *help* me a little, it would be great. Think like she never saw you two before, okay?" Toji : "Can't be..." Kensuke (reacting as he usually does to *that* name) : "Hey, if it's Misato-san's orders, we'll help you two, don't worry!" Shinji : "Anyways, where's the class rep? I want Asuka to meet her." Toji : "She'll be absent today. She said she was sick when I phoned her place." Kensuke : "You did *what*? You phoned the class rep's home? Trying to date her, Toji?" Toji (blushing a little) : "Awwww, stop that, you idiot!" Shinji looks back and sees a pensive Asuka at her desk. He figures that she's probably thinking about what she was doing here among all these people she doesn't even know. Shinji (to himself) : "How horrible it must be to be amnesic...I pity her." He then looks at Rei, who is present yet absent, seemingly oblivious to this world. She didn't even acknowledge that Asuka had arrived... Asuka then sees that Shinji's looking at Rei. She gets up and walks towards him. Asuka : "Is this Rei?" Shinji (surprised) : "Ah? Uh, well...yeah. She's Ayanami Rei, First Child, EVA pilot." Asuka : "Hey, I can remember what you told me yesterday, at least..." Pause. Asuka : "I think I'll talk to her now." Shinji : "W-what?!" Asuka : "She doesn't seem to be a bad person, although she does look kind of cold..." She approaches Rei. Asuka : "Ayanami Rei? You know me, right?" Rei doesn't look up at her. Rei (in her usual flat voice) : "I've been informed of your current state by Major Katsuragi, pilot Sohryu." Asuka (a bit troubled by Rei's behaviour) : "Well. I don't know how close we were to each other, but just remember that I'm your friend, and that, if anything happens, you can count on me. I'll try to do my best. I'm your fellow pilot, aren't I?" She holds her hand out to Rei. Asuka : "Shake on it?" Rei seems a bit troubled by these last words coming from Asuka's mouth. She then offers Asuka her hand and, not knowing what to do, lets Asuka shake it. Asuka (smiling) : "Good, Rei. We're friends now!" A few moments later, the old Sensei arrives. Before going to class, Shinji had gone to the teachers' lounge and given him the official, signed, stamped papers from NERV attesting that Asuka isn't running at 100% of her capabilities (well, that's what was written on the NERV papers; I don't make up things like that... :-) ). He then explained that she was here today, but suggested that, given the situation, he should be careful about talking to her, since she was quite nervous. The substitute class representative, upon seeing him enter, alerts the class to stand up, bow and sit down. The Sensei then starts to take attendance. Sensei : "Sohryu Asuka Langley." Asuka : "..." Sensei : "Sohryu Asuka Langley?" Asuka (suddenly realizing) : "Oh, here!" Sensei : "Well, please sit up and raise your hand so I can see you." She does so. Asuka : "I'm sorry, Sensei." Sensei : "Thank you." Toji and Kensuke are mesmerized as they think of what the normal Asuka would have said at this time and place. Probably a low 'Yeah, I'm here,' followed by a disdainful 'hmph.' The class went almost like any other day class, except for a few students gossiping about Asuka and spreading various rumours about her state. --- PE class. Shinji is playing basketball, while Asuka is doing gymnastics with the girls in her class. She feels, for the most part, completely lost...without him there. But fate had decided that Shinji should play basketball on the sports ground next to Asuka's. Shinji is standing on the sidelines, while Asuka is just behind him, the chain-link fence separating them. However, he didn't know that Asuka was standing so close by. He was completely focused on the game, waiting to receive the ball. Asuka : "Hey, Shinji!" Shinji (turning around and seeing her) : "Huh? Asuka?" Toji : "Hey, SHINJI!!! Watch out!!!" Shinji turns back too late, just in time to see the ball hit him hard right in the face. He falls to the ground. Asuka : "Oh, Shinji!" Asuka rips the gate between the two sports grounds open, runs up to Shinji, kneels beside him and rests his head in her lap. Asuka : "Shinji, are you okay?" Shinji slowly opens his eyes. Toji, Kensuke and some other curious students are there, too. Everyone is wondering why Asuka is so worried about Shinji now, since she usually doesn't give a damn about him. In fact, they were surprised that she hadn't started laughing and making fun of him. Toji : "I'm sorry, Shinji. If I knew this was gonna happen, I wouldn't have threw the ball so hard." Shinji : "Well, it hurts..." And with that he closes his eyes... Asuka : "I'll take you to the nurse's office." She then picks him up piggyback-style... Asuka (to herself) : "God, he's so heavy..." ...and runs towards the school. Toji : "How can she run like that while carrying him?" Kensuke : "Don't know..." --- In the school corridor. Asuka had stopped in the locker room briefly to pick up her school uniform for some reason, and was now carrying it in a gym bag, along with Shinji on her back again. Asuka : "What a fool I am...Shinji's unconscious and I don't even know where the damn nurse's office is!" Then, at a corner, she sees a sign with the words "Nurse's Office" on it, along with an arrow pointing the way. Asuka : "Ha!" She carries him in, noticing that there's no one here. She then sees the bed and sets Shinji down on it. After moving his arms and legs into what looked like a comfortable position, she put the gym bag with her school uniform in it on a chair. Since she was still in her gym outfit, she had to change, so she starts to. Shinji woke up, eyes opening a bit, seeing the wall of the office. He listened a bit and tensed up when he heard the sounds of someone changing clothes right next to him. He decides to be a gentleman: He doesn't move, doesn't say anything, shuts his eyes tight and keeps them that way. When he didn't hear any more noise, Shinji slowly opened his eyes again, only to see Asuka's face. He tries to get up, but Asuka keeps him from doing so by pressing her hand against his chest. Asuka : "Sshhh...it's my fault if you're hurt. I'm gonna keep an eye on you." Shinji : "It's not that bad, you know. A ball just hit me in the face, that's all. It didn't break my leg or anything like that." Asuka : "Well, if I hadn't called you from the other side of the fence, you would have caught that ball. With your hands, that is." Shinji : "But I--" She shuts him up by tenderly placing a little kiss on his forehead, where the ball had hit him. Shinji could feel her warm lips making contact with his skin. It was...it was...a wonderful feeling. Asuka : "Sorry...I just...felt like I had to do that." Shinji : "It's okay." Asuka : "Really?" Shinji : "But something's wrong about all this..." Asuka (puzzled) : "What?" Shinji : "You...you timed that, didn't you?" Asuka : "I..." Shinji : "I mean, you called me right at that time on purpose, right?" Asuka (looking away) : "You're smarter than I thought..." Shinji : "I'm not mad at you, don't worry." Asuka : "Shinji..." Shinji can hear that her voice is cracking a little. Asuka : "Shinji...I feel so lost when I'm alone...I'm so scared!" Shinji : "Asuka, I think I know how you feel..." He sits up and takes her hand in his. She squeezes it tightly in return, but doesn't turn to face him. Pause. Shinji : "What's wrong?" Asuka faces him now. He can see that she has tears running down her cheeks. Shinji : "Wait, don't cry..." Asuka (voice cracking) : "But...but...I'm so afraid to be away from you! You can't imagine! I was so *lost* in the classroom, not feel- ing you close to me! I was so *lost* on the sports ground, with no one I knew around! There were so many faces I didn't know! God, Shinji... I'm so...I'm so scared...oohh..." Shinji (to himself) : "Okay, Shinji...take the situation in hand here!" (to Asuka:) "Hey, I'm here now. Isn't it what you wanted?" Asuka (slowly recovering) : "Y-yes..." Shinji (smiling) : "Then, why not sit down here, next to me?" Asuka (looking up at him and sniffling a little) : "Can I?" Shinji nods. Asuka gets out of the chair and sits beside him on the bed. Shinji then quickly but gently wraps his arm around her shoulders and draws her close. This surprises her, but not for long. She then quickly puts her hands around Shinji's waist and begins to squeeze as tightly as she can while resting her head on his shoulder. Now he's the one who's surprised. He wasn't expecting Asuka to hug him back with such strength. Shinji caresses her soft auburn hair in return. Shinji : "Do you feel better now?" Asuka : "Much better. Thank you for being there for me." Shinji : "Come on, you have to go back to class now. I'll join you soon, don't worry." Asuka : "But..." Shinji : "Be strong, Asuka. Be strong for me, and for yourself, okay?" Asuka : "...I'll try. You're right, Shinji. I can't live forever on your back!" Shinji : "That's better. Will you go to class now?" Asuka : "Yeah..." Toji : "We're gonna take her there, Shinji. Don't worry." The two are very surprised to see Toji and Kensuke in the doorway. Shinji : "Okay...I'm gonna wait for the nurse, then. I don't think I'll be able to leave without her approval." Toji : "Yeah, I think I understand how you feel, Asuka. And I'm sorry for calling you a bitch a few hours ago." (to Shinji:) "We'll take care of her. Don't worry, Shinji." Asuka : "Y-you're forgiven...and thank you...but I'll go alone, if you don't mind..." She then takes her gym clothes, put them in her bag, and walks towards the door. Asuka : "Later, Shinji." She then leaves the office. Toji : "Anyways, I wanted to talk with you a bit, Shinji...and now is the right time..." --- The classroom. Asuka walks in. The teacher isn't here yet, so she calmly puts her bag on her desk. A bunch of male classmates walk up to her. Tall boy : "Hey, Sohryu." Asuka took a bit of time to get used to being called by that name, but now it seemed okay for her. Asuka : "Yeah? What do you want?" Tall boy : "Wanna go out with me somewhere after school?" Asuka (crossing her arms) : "W-what? I don't see why I should! And it's a bit rude to ask me this in front of your friends." Ugly boy with glasses : "...so the rumors are true." Asuka begins to feel afraid. Fat boy : "You're don't have amnesia! You just used that excuse to skip classes. Like any other bitch." Asuka (trembling) : "I...I'm not a bitch. I am not. That's nonsense." Tall boy : "Yes, you are. You humiliated me in front of everyone four days ago! Only a bitch could do that!" Asuka (covering her ears with her hands) : "NO, NO, NO! I'm NOT a BITCH!! Why are you saying this!?" Ugly boy with glasses : "Ha! And who could believe that? You flashed your panties at us and now you push us away? Only a bitchy tease could do that. You use everyone anyways." Tall boy : "Yeah, like a bitch." Asuka (lowering her head) : "Nooo....no, I'm not...I don't...use..." Fat boy : "Where's that toughness of yours now, Sohryu? Or are you just afraid? You always act so big and show off, but you're really nothing but a powerless little bitch!" Asuka (voice cracking badly) : "...not a bitch..." The boys can hear sniffles and sobs from the redheaded pilot. Tall boy : "Lost your pride, Sohryu? You're just a tease, a coward. That'll teach you!" Ugly boy with glasses : "Hmmm...Tenchi..." Tall boy (Tenchi) : "What?" The ugly boy with glasses shows Toji, Shinji and Kensuke at the other end of the class, near the classroom door. Toji is cracking his knuckles, with a rather angry look on his face, while Kensuke records everything on his omnipresent disc camcorder. As for Shinji, he's doing his usual hand tic (you know, where he clenches and unclenches his fist...) and has the same angry look as Toji on his face. Fat boy : "Uh oh...it's Suzuhara and Ikari..." Asuka doesn't look up to see Shinji. She runs out the door, almost running into Kensuke, incidentally making him lose his balance and fall on his butt. Toji : "Shinji, go and catch up to her. I'll take care of these fools." Shinji : "Okay." He then runs out of the classroom, after her. Toji walks up to the group who had been bothering Asuka, punching the palm of his other hand. Toji : "Now, any of you guys got a problem?" --- Outside, in the schoolyard. Asuka is curled up on a school bench, head buried in her knees. Shinji walks towards her. Asuka (softly) : "Shinji..." Shinji continues his advance. Asuka (softly) : "...go away." Shinji : "Asuka...don't worry about what those guys said. They're just a bunch of pathetic little boys." Asuka (head still buried in her knees) : "Shinji. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry in front of anyone, except you...I have to be strong. I can't always depend on you. That wouldn't be fair to you. I have to face my problems alone." Shinji stays in front of her. Shinji : "I'm glad that you consider me a friend. And that's what I want the most, for the moment. And you don't bother me, Asuka..." Asuka : "You think of me just as a friend?? It's more than that, don't you see!? Can't you SEE!? Can't you see that I...I..." Shinji : "Well, more than a friend, but I understand how you feel. You're just searching for shelter. And I'm ready to give it to you--" Asuka (interrupting and looking up at him) : "But I'm taking advantage of you! I'm using you! They're right! I'm a bitch! Even with you! And...I don't want to be a bitch to you! I must have said and done so many horrible things to you! But I don't want to be a bitch to you! I don't want to! I want to be...to be..." Her voice softens and she buries her head in her knees again. Asuka : "...nice...I want to...I want to be kind to you...but I can't stand you watching me being hurt! I don't want you to pity me! I don't need your pity!" Obviously, there isn't very much coherence in her words. Probably due to her current emotional state, thought Shinji. He also thought of the verb "use," often associated with "his father" and "himself" in his mind...but it was not the same with Asuka. He was ready to be used by her. He didn't mind at all, as long as she was happy. She stood up and looked at him, tears covering her face. Shinji : "Asuka, there's no harm in being pitied. It's just to accept other...well, other people's affection and care." She slaps him hard across the face. The sound echoes through the schoolyard. Asuka : "You're lying! You must be lying! I can remember that I did and said horrible things to you! You HAVE to hate me! That can't be possible, you just have to! I know I've hurt you..." She then looks at her hand. Another flash of light strikes her mind. She sees images of herself slapping Shinji, calling him baka and scorning him... Asuka (trembling) : "No...no...nononononononononooooo....I...what have I done...? Oh, noooooo!" She then falls to her knees, and lowers her head. Asuka : "I...I hurt you...I really did...oh, no...oh, Shinji...no..." This said, the sobs get louder. Shinji kneels down in front of her, his face still bearing a red mark. Shinji (softly) : "Asuka...I didn't feel anything. Don't worry." (to himself:) "Well, that's not really true, but..." Asuka unconsciously reaches out, wraps her arms around him and buries her head in his chest. This startles him, but he's beginning to get used to Asuka's new behaviour. Asuka (sobbing) : "What have I done, Shinji!? I...I hurt you...oh, Shinji, Shinji, Shinji...forgive me...please..." Shinji : "I'm used to your slaps, you know." Poor Shinji. That was NOT the right thing to say now. Asuka : "YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT I DID *THAT* BEFORE!? How many times!? How did I!? How could I do that to you? Why haven't you pushed me away yet, Shinji? Why!? I treat you so bad, and you...you don't care!" Shinji : "Listen, Asuka, I will always endure everything you do to me. Because...because..." Asuka (between sobs) : "Because what, Shinji?" Shinji (smiling) : "Well...because I still care about a bitch like you." (to himself:) "I can't believe I finally told her. The normal Asuka would have destroyed me completely in a few seconds..." But Asuka remains silent instead and calms down. Shinji : "Asuka? Are you okay?" Asuka (softly) : "...Shinji..." Shinji : "Hm?" Asuka (almost whispering) : "...baka." She sniffles a little. Shinji smiles to himself, helps Asuka up off the ground and gently leads her to the bench where she was earlier. She holds on tightly to him again, and he puts his arm around her shoulder. Asuka : "You don't believe I am amnesic, do you? You're just like those boys..." Shinji : "Don't say that..." Asuka : "I just act like my old self. I can feel that." Shinji : "You trust me, right? Then I trust you, too. I believe you, Asuka. I can believe you. You are really amnesic. Because the old Asuka would never allow me to hold her like this." Asuka : "And what if I was faking amnesia?" Shinji (giggling) : "Oh, the old you wouldn't stand one minute of being kind to me like this, you know. So I don't think you're faking at all." Asuka looks down. Shinji : "And you? How do you feel?" Asuka is surprised that he's asking her the same question she'd asked him earlier. But then again, the situation was different then. Asuka : "Shinji...I...I don't know if it's love or something else, but here's how I feel: I think that I can put all my trust into you and that you will never hurt me. But, I know that I'm asking too much from you...you're always stuck with me and you don't seem to care what I do to you. Thank you, Shinji...for caring. It's all that I need for now. You're like an older brother to me..." (now grinning:) "...but, maybe you're more..." Shinji : "That's good to hear...but how will you make up for all those slaps, now?" Asuka : "Hm, then, let me give you something you probably won't receive again if I were to recover completely..." She looks up at him, brings her face closer to his...and they were soon sharing a soft kiss, on a schoolyard bench, holding each other tightly. Shinji is terrorized. It's his first kiss, after all, and maybe Asuka's too, but soon, he remembered what he saw in movies, and began to return the kiss with all his strength. After a while, Asuka ends the kiss and then brings her mouth over to Shinji's left ear. Shinji does the same with her. They hold each other even tighter than they had before, without hurting each other. Asuka (softly, almost a whisper) : "Shinji...if I forget this moment when my memory comes back, please...please remind me of it, okay? That was really nice." Shinji : "If you remember everything, I don't see how I'd be able to remind you. I'd probably die from your slaps before I finished talking..." She giggles. Asuka : "Was I *that* terrible?" Shinji : "Oh, you couldn't imagine. You just possibly couldn't..." --- Misato's apartment. The front door opens, revealing Asuka and Shinji in their respective school uniforms, carrying their bags. Shinji : "Tadaima!" A man's voice replies from the kitchen. Kaji : "Ohayo, Shinji-kun!" Asuka : "I know that voice..." The two teens enter the kitchen. Asuka's face lights up with joy when she sees Kaji. Kaji : "Oh, Asuka. You're here too." Asuka : "W-who are you? I...I know your face, but..." Kaji : "Ah, how ironic. I'd forgotten that you'd lost your memory." Asuka (walking up to him) : "Yeah, but I'm sure that I know you! I'm sure of that! You're someone close to me! I can tell that I like you very much." Kaji : "Thank you. I'm flattered that you at least remember me that way." Asuka : "Oh, please, tell me your name!" Kaji (smiling at her) : "Kaji. Ryoji Kaji." Pause. Asuka appears to think about this for a while. Asuka (suddenly) : "Kaji-san!" Kaji : "Ah, it seems that you remember me after all." Asuka : "Unfortunately, I can't remember anything else...I'm sorry." Kaji : "Don't worry. When I was younger I had a friend who was the same way. I can understand how you feel." Asuka : "You're kind. You're just like Shinji." Kaji grins inwardly. Shinji chooses this moment to speak. Shinji : "By the way, Kaji-san, where's Misato-san?" Kaji : "She had some work to do at her office. She gave me the key- card to the apartment so I could be there to greet you. And to let you know that tomorrow you have harmonics tests to do." Asuka (giving Shinji a puzzled look) : "What's a 'harmonics test'?" Shinji (chuckling) : "I'll explain it to you later, Asuka." --- Nightfall. Shinji is laying in his bed under the covers, listening to his SDAT, and thinking about the events of the day. Asuka : "May I...?" Shinji can hear her voice even through his earbuds. She's standing in his doorway, wearing only her nightdress. Shinji (smiling at her) : "Yeah, you can come in." Asuka then rushes up and joins Shinji under the blankets. This time they're face to face. The two of them seem to be very uneasy for some reason. Asuka : "Sorry...I'm just disturbing you--" Shinji (quickly) : "No, of course not! You aren't!" Asuka (blushing a bit) : "You're not mad at me for today?" Shinji : "I can't be mad at you, Asuka. I don't know why I should be." Asuka (softly, almost a whisper) : "Thank you." She closes her eyes. Shinji then decides to turn and lay on his back, and then go to sleep. He couldn't face her in his sleep. Not now, anyways. Asuka : "Kaji-san told me that I'll have to get into that giant robot tomorrow..." Shinji : "How do you feel about that?" Asuka : "I must admit...that I'm afraid." Shinji : "..." Asuka : "That thing made me lose all of my memories. What will it do to me tomorrow, Shinji?" Shinji : "You know, Asuka, Evas aren't always good. Many times, I've told myself that I would never get into one again. But, every time, I did wind up climbing back into my Unit 01. Just because..." Asuka : "Because of what, Shinji?" Shinji : "Because I was forced to, because of the Angel attacks. But, from now on, I won't run away anymore, because I've found a reason to do it..." Asuka : "..." Shinji : "I have to protect you, Asuka. I have to protect the girl who trusts me the most. And I can't abuse that trust you put in me." Asuka : "...me too, Shinji. I'll do the same for you. Thank you. I feel much better about tomorrow now." Pause. Shinji : "Good night, Asuka." Asuka doesn't say anything. Instead, Shinji feels a soft pair of lips against his cheek. Asuka (softly, in Shinji's ear) : "That was a good-night kiss. Sweet dreams, Shinji." Asuka then soon fell asleep, as the little snores and purrs Shinji hears coming from her attest. Shinji gets ready to go to dreamland as well. He takes his time, however. He first thinks about Asuka and what happened today. This day was so surreal for him that he first thought it was an illusion, or a dream, or something like the day before the end of the world, just because Asuka was not her usual self. And tomorrow she'll have a synchro test with her Eva Unit 02. Nothing else to do but to wait and see what happens... --- Shinji suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night to some kind of sound. Asuka : "AAAHHHHH!" Shinji quickly turns to face Asuka, and sees that she has her head bent down. Shinji : "Asuka...? What's going on?" She then begins to sob quietly and lays her head against his chest. Shinji (to himself) : "I won't be afraid, Asuka... not now!" (to Asuka:) "Asuka...tell me, what's wrong?" Asuka just continues to sob and grabs Shinji's nightshirt, as if she's trying to keep from being swept away from him. He puts his arms gently around her, and turns his head so that his face is against her forehead. Shinji : "Asuka, I'm here...I'm with you...there's nothing to fear. Now, tell me, were you having a nightmare?" Asuka's reply startles and disturbs Shinji. Asuka (sobbing) : "...Mama..." --- TO BE CONTINUED Don't miss the next episode : "The Source of One's Mind" Author's notes: I know, I know...Asuka makes the OOC-o-meter (tm) explode in this fic, but it's for the plot, don't worry. I know that OOC characters aren't always appreciated, because people don't feel that this IS the character you know and love from the original series, and thus the fic loses its charm. Yeah, the wait for this was terribly long, but I had to work on the final Child Of Love chapter, and I had decided to take a little break after that. But I have some good news. Some fics (by other authors) are in preparation at the moment, and guess what? They feature Teri-chan! You can't imagine how happy I am! I feel like a proud father or something! I hope you'll see them soon (Teri-chan's a star now! :-) )! Again, special thanks to all of my pre-readers! (the list is just getting bigger and bigger!): Al-l-Bus ("Imagine Normality?" (go read the new version; it's even better than before!), "Love After Impact", "A New World For Shinji & Asuka") Alain Gravel ("The One I Love Is..." a must-to read, "Lost Love") Borderline Case ("Reflections In Red") Dave Watson ("Victory" songfic, and thanks for the retoolings!) EBJ (Thank you too! I just don't know what I could do without you! ^_^) Eva_Pilot00 Greg Thomas (Webmaster of "Everything's Anime" ) DJ Lesser ("Ayanami's Lesson", a side story to the Ninth Month of "The Child of Love") Kaoru Nagisa ("EvaLeSs") Jon Byram ("Sins Of The Past") Pheaton Readiosys Fisher ("Unfamiliar Fearings" and webmaster of RomEmul ) Sammy Sy Shinji the 10 o'clock Assassin (Sorry, the list's too long...) Sudhoda'ya Sushi Boy Thanks to you all, and to everybody around the world who reads my fics!!!!!! See ya soon! Axel Terizaki -- AxelT - ICQ# 34301980 ASUKA's Notebook ---Asuka : "Rien ne sera plus comme avant, Hikari! Je suis une mère maintenant! Tu ne peux pas comprendre CA! J'ai des responsabilités! J'ai quelqu'un à protèger, [...] Teri compte vraiment beaucoup pour moi, tu sais...Je l'aime tellement! Même si elle n'est pas encore là, j'aime ma fille!" D'aprés "The Child Of Love", fanfiction sur Evangelion Huitième Mois de la grossesse de Sohryu Asuka Langley. From: "Axel Terizaki" AN AMNESIC ANGEL... Written by Axel Terizaki ICQ # 34301980 Asuka's Notebook Retooled by Dave Watson (aj153@freenet.carleton.ca), 1999 6 27 & 7 08 & 11. Version 1.2. -=THIRD MEMORY=- Asuka seems to be showing some sort of attachment to and affection for Shinji. Having no memories of her past, she seeks support from some- one, and she chooses to trust Shinji, as unbelievable as it seems. In addition of that, her first afternoon at school, just after her accident, has been a big, traumatic mistake... What will happen at her first harmonics test since her accident? Will she synchronize well with Eva-02? Why did I end the previous chapter on a cliffhanger? Why do I HAVE to study bloody Spanish at school!!!? --- CAPTION: THIRD MEMORY CAPTION 2: The Source Of One's Mind --- Last night had been very long for Shinji. Listening to Asuka cry about her mother all night was a very exhausting experience. He held her tight, but gently, as she slept. After almost one hour of sobbing, she finally fell asleep again, probably tired from crying. Shinji then thought that he could finally fall asleep himself. However, he was woken up again in the early morning, as Asuka had the same nightmare once more... Misato, who had returned from HQ in the middle of the night, was a little worried to hear Asuka's sobbings coming from Shinji's room in the early morning... Misato (to herself) : "I'm not gonna blow up like I did yesterday..." She silently enters the room, and sees a still-sobbing Asuka in Shinji's arms. Her face is pressed up against his chest. Misato (softly) : "Shinji-kun...what's going on here?" Shinji : "I think she was having really bad nightmares. As you can see, we're not enjoying this." Misato looks down at Asuka. She looks like a fragile and hurt animal, trembling like a leaf. She's holding onto Shinji's nightshirt as if her life depends on it. Apparently, she wasn't aware that Shinji and Misato were talking. Misato : "Yeah, I see..." Shinji : "The only thing she's said so far is 'mama'..." Misato immediately shudders at that word. Misato : "'Mama'?" Pause. Misato : "Oh...that's not good..." Shinji : "What's the deal about her mother, Misato-san?" Misato : "Shinji-kun. I once promised Asuka that I wouldn't tell anyone..." Shinji (after a short pause) : "Then I'll respect her choice. Sorry for asking." Misato : "So, I don't think that...she'll be able to do harmonics tests today...will she?" Shinji : "No, I don't think she'll be able to perform them. And me, neither. I can't leave her by herself like this." Misato (rolling her eyes) : "Perfect. Absolutely perfect. It's wonderful. I'm dead." In her mind, she sees a furious Ritsuko waiting for her with a double- barrelled shotgun at the entrance door of an elevator... Shinji (sadly) : "I'm sorry, Misato-san..." Misato : "Don't say that, it's not your fault. I'll just whip myself up something quick to eat and then go back to sleep. I'm really, really tired now...(yawn). You want anything, while I'm in the kitchen?" Shinji : "No, I'm fine, thank you." Misato (while leaving the room) : "Good luck, Shinji-kun." The door to his room is now closed again. A few seconds later, Shinji remembered that Asuka is crying, face pressed into his chest. He looks down at the girl in his arms. Shinji : "Asuka..." (to himself:) "Why does seeing you like this make me feel so much pain and sorrow?" Now, inexplicably, he feels the urge to cry a little, too... Shinji (eyes now shedding tears, slowly but surely) : "Why?" Shinji doesn't want to free himself from her grip yet. He continues to hold her gently, comforting her. He caresses her hair and her back. It seems to have the desired effect after some time: It calms her down, and she finally, for the third time in ten hours, falls asleep. Shinji feels the reward for his efforts, as she releases her grip on him, little by little, and she whispers his name in her sleep...Shinji falls asleep, too, relieved by the peaceful look on Asuka's face. He has to make up for the sleep he had lost, too... --- Asuka's dreams. Asuka is in her red plugsuit, standing in front of a woman with a blurred face. Asuka : "Stop that! That's insane! I won't allow you to do anything more!" Voice/Blurry-faced woman : "You're hurting both of us by trying to take back control over your mind and body. Don't you see that you're happy, now?" Asuka (angry) : "No, I'm not! Have you seen how I've been acting with baka Shinji!? I won't be able to face him anymore!" Voice : "I just tricked them by faking amnesia, so I wouldn't make them suspicious about anything." Asuka : "That's REALLY insane!" Voice : "So? As long as you're happy..." Asuka : "I'm not! I'm not happy!" Voice : "Not since that 'accident' with me--" Asuka (interrupting) : "I'M NOT HAPPY, DAMMIT! All the things I want to keep from the others, and especially from him...you're letting them all out! You're ruining all my efforts..." Voice : "Look at yourself, Asuka-chan." Asuka : "Yeah, I looked at myself! I'm SLEEPING in that baka's arms! That can't be! I'm gonna go insane!" Voice : "Don't you understand yet that this Shinji boy really cares for you?" Asuka : "No one cares for me! That's crazy! Who does the invincible Shinji care for, except for himself!? He doesn't give a damn about me! He never took me in his arms! He never tried to protect me! I HATE HIM!!" Voice : "He didn't care about you because you didn't give him a chance to." Asuka : "Of course I did! Many times!" Voice : "Tssk...it's bad to lie to me, Asuka-chan. That's no way to behave." Asuka: "After what you've done to me, I don't see WHY I should behave better around you!" Voice (with a trace of a laugh) : "This Shinji has a nice butt, you know. You should show more interest in him." Asuka : "Oh, stop that! Of course he's the ONLY good boy I know here, but he's only a boy! A pathetic and wimpy little boy! Kaji-san's a man. He's better, isn't he?" Voice : "But, Asuka-chan...aren't you still only a girl, too?" This startles Asuka. Asuka : "No I'm not! I'm not! I'm not a girl anymore! I'm a woman now! I can take care of myself! I did it, I'm doing it and I'll keep doing it!" Voice : "Are you sure? It doesn't seem that way to me. It seems more like you're a little girl trying to act like a woman." Asuka (sighing) : "I'm tired of this. Let me see through my own eyes, now!" Voice : "If you're thinking like that, I won't let you go. And besides, I need to show you something important." Asuka : "I don't care. I want to destroy him now after what he told me!" Voice : "Stop lying to yourself, Asuka-chan...you should accept his love, and give it back to him...and besides, he really knows how to kiss, you know..." (giggling:) "Quite impressive for a boy..." Asuka (trembling) : "You...NO!!! You made me kiss him!? You made me kiss that jerk!? I can't believe it!!! YOU WASTED MY FIRST KISS ON *HIM*!!? I'm dead! That's it, I must be dead! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I *HATE* *YOU*!!" Voice : "Since you're not that convinced, I'll let you be a spectator this time, okay? Now I have to go and reassure him. He must be very worried by now..." (giggling again) "He'll comfort us both with his warmth...he knows how to love, Asuka-chan. You should be more like him." Asuka : "I'm not baka Shinji! He doesn't care about me! HE DOESN'T CARE!" A flash of light cracks through her mind once more. We can see some events from the week when they had to synchronize perfectly with each other. [When he tried to kiss her in the night but pulled back when he saw that she was crying...a wimpy little boy would not have pulled back. A wimpy little boy would have taken advantage of her with no respect for her pain, would have kissed her despite her tears. And Shinji did not kiss her. He didn't want to hurt her. He doesn't want to hurt her. And he never would.] Asuka (softer) : "He doesn't..." [And after all the things she did and said to him, he could have returned the insults and maybe even hit her back. But he didn't.] Asuka (hysterical) : "That's because he's a wimp!! A WIMP!" [Still, he saved her from falling into the volcano. Would a wimp do that?] Asuka : "He followed Misato's order to come and rescue me! He wouldn't have done it otherwise!" [No, he did that without orders from Misato, and possibly against them. By his own free will.] Asuka : "NO HE DIDN'T! He did that because..." [Because he cares for her.] Asuka : "No, he doesn't care...how could that baka love me?! After..." [Still, he saved her from sinking into the volcano. Without thinking about it. Without thinking about himself or anyone else but HER.] Asuka (softly) : "...Why?" [Because he loves her.] Asuka (almost a whisper) : "...He can't..." [Because he loves her.] Asuka (shouting desperately) : "DAMN YOU, MAMA! GIVE ME BACK MY MIND, NOW!!!" A flash of light, and Asuka's dream world disappears. --- Later, in the real world. When Shinji finally wakes up, he sees that Asuka is sitting on his bed next to him. She's leaning forward, head down in her knees, not making any sound but her breathing. Shinji (softly) : "Asuka, are you okay?" No answer. Shinji : "Asuka...?" Again, no answer from the redheaded pilot. Shinji : "I'm sure that you want something to eat. It's already 9:45..." He slowly gets up from his bed and heads to the kitchen. He comes back with two sandwiches a few minutes later. Shinji : "Come on, have something to eat..." She slowly lifts up her head and picks up one of the sandwiches. She then bites into it, with a sad look on her face. Shinji : "Do you like it?" Asuka (softly) : "Hmmmm..." She slowly chews and swallows the bite of food in her mouth. Shinji : "Are you feeling okay?" Asuka : "...not really." Shinji (a little stunned) : "C-can you tell me why...?" Asuka : "I can't, Shinji. I'm sorry, but I can't." After that, she buries her head in her knees again. Shinji : "You trust me, don't you?" Asuka (hesitantly) : "Yes..." Shinji : "Then, tell me more. I'm your friend, you can tell me..." She thinks about it for a little while. Asuka : "Shinji, I really don't want to share that." Shinji (seriously) : "Do you know what I think? I think that you have a past that hurts you. Even now. Like I do. But we have to get over it, Asuka. We mustn't dwell on the past." Asuka (sadly) : "Oh, that's easy for you to say..." Shinji : "No, I think it's the same for both of us." Asuka : "Anyways, I don't want to share this with anyone. Sorry." Shinji : "Tell you what: I'll tell you my story. My past. And then you can tell me yours, okay? We'll be at the same point then." She thinks about this for a while. Asuka : "I know you're curious about my past, but I don't feel the same way about you. I'm sorry..." Shinji thinks that she's right this time. He *is* only listening to his own curiosity. He looks down at his feet, feeling kind of embarrassed. Shinji : "I read once that telling someone you trust about something that's painful for you is a good way to feel less alone, Asuka." Long pause. Asuka : "Oh well, if you insist. After all, you *are* a trustworthy friend, Shinji..." (a little more animated now:) "You're right. I don't see why I should hide things from you!" He smiles at Asuka, and then begins to relate his past to her. --- Central Dogma, in the lab used for harmonics tests. Ritsuko : "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!" Misato : "I'm sorry, Ritsuko..." Ritsuko : "Misato, really...you don't understand, do you?" Misato : "Of course I know they HAVE to take these tests, but Shinji told me that Asuka just remembered about her mother, and she's not in the best condition to take them." Ritsuko : "You're not a doctor, Misato. You don't have the authority to decide that. And why does Shinji has to skip those tests, TOO?" Misato : "Well, you know...Asuka feels totally lost. And I don't know why, but she feels that Shinji is the only person she can trust." Ritsuko : "Oh, so our duty here means nothing, is that it? I want them both here, right now! I delayed the tests for them yesterday, but I can't do that anymore! Otherwise, the commander will be furious!" Misato (reluctantly, while preparing to leave) : "Okay, okay...I'll go get them." --- Back at the apartment. Asuka : "Shinji, it hurts too much inside. I can't..." They are still sitting on his bed, and he has an arm around her shoulder, while she looks down at her feet. Shinji : "Don't say any more, Asuka. I understand how you feel now... well, I think I do." Asuka : "...thank you, Shinji..." Shinji : "I'm sorry I asked you to tell me." She closes her eyes, and rests her head on his shoulder. Asuka (whispering) : "As long as it's for you..." Shinji : "You seem tired. You want to sleep some more?" Asuka : "Yes...but, it would be nice, if we could sleep together..." Shinji : "Hey, it's already been two nights that we *have* been sleeping together..." However, his mind doesn't register the fact that the term 'sleeping together' is perhaps a little too intimate for the two of them. Asuka : "I mean...take me in your arms...it feels good..." Shinji (surprised) : "Huh?" Asuka (smiling) : "Come on! I'm waiting!" He then does as he is told. He slowly takes her in his arms and gently lays her down on the mattress before joining her under the covers... Asuka (eyes still closed) : "Hey, don't stop..." Shinji holds her closely in his arms. She rolls over a bit, ending up almost laying on top of him. She rests her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Asuka (softly) : "Oh...it feels so nice, Shinji...I feel so comfortable here..." Shinji : "Same here, Asuka..." (to himself:) "This is so unreal..." As if to make things even more unreal, a part of Shinji that he tried hard to keep under control stirs. Asuka giggles when she notices what she feels against her hip. Shinji is embarrassed and a little disturbed by what's happening now. Shinji : "Sorry about this..." Asuka (giggling again) : "I don't mind. It's good to feel loved..." Shinji takes her hand in his. He has a very determined look in his face. Shinji (softly) : "Asuka...I've decided something. You know that I've always been a spineless little boy, but now I'm gonna make a man's decision..." Asuka raises her head and looks at him, visibly confused. Shinji : "Oh, sorry. You don't remember that..." Asuka (putting her head back down on his chest) : "You're not a spine- less little boy, Shinji. I can see you're not because of the way you've been behaving with me so far. You took my defense, and you're kind to me. A 'spineless little boy' can't do these things." Shinji feels relieved to hear that coming from her. Suddenly, the door of the apartment opens and Misato steps in, heading immediately to Shinji's room. She seems exhausted. Misato : "Oh, am I interrupting something? Sorry..." Shinji (blushing a bit) : "Well, we were resting a little..." Misato : "I'm sorry to bother you two right now, but...Shinji, Asuka... we have to go to headquarters. I couldn't cancel those tests." Shihji (frowning) : "Misato-san! Asuka's not ready for that yet. I don't think that it'd be wise to make her take these tests now!" Misato : "I told you, Shinji, it's not me. Ritsuko must run these tests, otherwise the commander will be furious." Shinji thinks about his father and frowns even harder. To his surprise, Asuka gets up and walks towards her room. Asuka (behind Misato) : "I'll be ready in a minute, Misato." Misato (still facing Shinji) : "Good, Asuka. I'm sorry to impose on you." Asuka : "Don't worry. I'll try to do my best." Shinji feels relieved to hear that. She has confidence now. She can do it after all. Deep down inside, though, he feels that something will go wrong... --- Central Dogma, in the lab used for Evangelion Unit activation. Ritsuko : "Okay, Shinji, Asuka...Rei already took this test yesterday, so she isn't here now. Are there any problems with that?" Shinji (through the comm display) : "No, none at all. But I thought that we had to do harmonics tests." Ritsuko : "We'll do them another time. I want to see Asuka in Eva-02 first." Shinji : "So why do I have to be in Unit 01 as well?" Ritsuko (under her breath) : "...just in case..." And then she shuts off the comm display. Maya : "Are you afraid of something, sempai?" Ritsuko : "No...it's nothing. Well, I hope it's nothing. We'll find out soon, anyways." Shinji is in Eva-01 in the cage next to her, while Asuka is in her Eva-02 right in front of Ritsuko. Misato is also here to see what will happen. She's incredibly worried about Asuka, judging by all the precautions Ritsuko seems to be taking for this activation test, as if she was fearing the worst. Shinji opens a comm channel to the lab. Shinji : "I would like to open a private comm channel to Eva-02." Ritsuko (surprised) : "A private channel?" Shinji : "Well, I know that all of our communications are accessible to you and that you record them all on disk. For once, I'd like to talk to Asuka. Privately." Ritsuko : "Oh well...if you insist." Shinji : "Thanks...and no cheating, please." With that, he closes the channel to the lab and opens up a new one to EVA-02. Misato ses that Ritsuko is monitoring their conversation, against Shinji's wishes. She decides to do something about it, and keys something on the terminal next to her. A few seconds after, the monitoring of the 'private' channel was shut off. Ritsuko (angry) : "Misato!? Why did you cut the camera!?" Misato : "Have you no shame? They want some privacy here." Ritsuko (frowning) : "It's for the test, Misato..." Misato (serious) : "I don't care. I did that for the children, not for science. They are not Guinea pigs. They are human beings." Ritsuko : "Are you aware that I could get you banned from this lab for interfering with the tests Commander Ikari ordered?" Misato : "So, these are NOT the usual harmonics tests after all..." Ritsuko : "We just want to verify something..." --- Inside the two Evas. Shinji : "Asuka, are you all right?" Asuka (slowly nodding) : "Uh-huh...this thing smells like blood. It's horrible." Shinji : "Yeah, I know that, but you'll get used to it. Do you feel comfortable?" Asuka : "Except for the fact that my head really hurts..." Shinji (lowering his head) : "I'm sorry that you have to go through this..." Asuka : "No, it's all right...it's my duty as a pilot, right?" Shinji : "Yes, but..." Asuka: "But what?" Shinji : "Sometimes, Asuka...I wish that weren't Eva pilots, with all the responsibilities we have right now, and...I'd like...I'd like to walk home from school with you, by my side, holding hands, and...and we could come home, eat something together, and finally watch something on TV together, on the couch...but I realize...that if you were to recover your memories, you would never be like that to me. The way you've been acting those last few days shows me that Sohryu Asuka Langley is actually a really nice girl." Asuka waits for the end of his speech and giggles a little. Asuka (still giggling) : "Heh heh, thanks. Okay, I'll try to remember this too if I ever recover, don't worry..." Ritsuko appears on a comm channel. Ritsuko : "Are you finished yet?" Shinji : "Ritsuko-san!! You were listening, weren't you?" Ritsuko : "Don't worry about that, Shinji-kun. A crazy woman made sure I didn't listen to your conversation..." Shinji (to himself) : "Misato-san..." Ritsuko : "Okay, Maya. Begin activation of Unit-01 first." Maya : "Why Unit-01? I thought that we were testing Asuka..." Ritsuko : "As I said, 'just in case'..." Misato (to herself) : "Something's suspicious here..." Ritsuko : "Okay. Establish the first connection." Maya : "First connection established." Ritsuko : "Connect the main power source." Maya : "Functional voltage has reached the critical limit." Ritsuko : "Good. Prepare for Phase 2 Configuration." Maya : "Pilot in symbiosis with Unit 01. Circuits opened. Pulses and harmonics normal. Synchronization okay." Ritsuko (looking at a monitor) : "All the nerves have been linked. No problem with the nervous system." Maya : "Calculations and reverifications okay. Check-list acheived at 2-5-5-0, list 6. Borderline in 1.8, 1.7, 1.2, 1.0, 0.8, 0.4, 0.2, 0.1...borderline reached and passed successfully." Ritsuko : "Eva-01 activated." Misato : "Good..." Maya : "Unit-01 activated and functional. Synch rate at 72.4%." Ritsuko (to Shinji) : "Good job, Shinji-kun. You have a good synch rate with EVA-01." Shinji (blushing slightly) : "T-thanks..." Ritsuko : "Maya, proceed with Unit-02." Maya : "Hai." Ritsuko : "Connect the main power source." Maya : "Main power source connected. Activation system operational. Voltage operational. Critical point in 0.5...0.3...stage passed." Ritsuko: "Proceed to the second activation phase." Maya : "The pilot is entering into symbiosis with Unit 02. System start, phase 2. Synapses inserted." Ritsuko : "Start the connection." Maya : "Pulses transmitted." Ritsuko (looking at a monitor) : "All circuits are okay." Maya : "Nerve links okay." Ritsuko : "Transmit the power to the brachial muscles." Maya : "Nerve links okay. Check-list acheived at 2-5-5-0, list 6." Ritsuko: "Prepare the third connection." Maya : "Borderline in...0.7, 0.5, 0.3, 0.2..." A machine suddenly starts beeping. Maya : "Asuka's pulses are fluctuating backwards!" Ritsuko : "What?!" --- Inside Unit-02. Asuka : "What the..." The unit tries to activate itself, but... Asuka (screaming) : "UURRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!" --- Activation lab. Maya : "Disturbance in the third phase! Rejection from the nervous system! Misato : "You were afraid of *WHAT*?!" Ritsuko : "Some kind of rejection by Unit 02 of its pilot..." Maya : "Unit 02 entering berserker mode!" Ritsuko (horrified) : "Again!? Break all contacts, open up to the sixth fuse." Maya : "Impossible! The signal is being rejected!" --- In the lab, in the test cage, Unit-02 struggles against its restraints, finally breaking free of them. It clutches its head, emitting a deep inhuman roar. Finally it stomps over to the far wall of the cage and starts smashing its head against it, leaving large dents in its fortified panels. --- In the lab. Maya : "Unit 02 out of control!" Ritsuko : "Stop everything. Cut the umbilical cable!" Maya : "Sempai! Unit 01 also..." Shinji feels the building shake from Unit-02's hammering, and realizes that something is going terribly wrong with Asuka. Without a second thought, he opens up a comm channel to the lab. He looks frightened, angry, and concerned. Shinji : "Ritsuko-san! What's happening to Asuka?" Ritsuko : "Unit-02's gone into berserker mode! It won't let us dis- connect, either." Shinji : "Let me into the cage. I want to help her." Ritsuko : "We can't! There's no telling what will happen if there's another EVA unit in the cage while Unit-02's like this. It could be dangerous for you." Shinji : "I don't care! I have to help Asuka! She could die if nobody stops this!" Ritsuko : "Think about yourself here! You could get killed, too, you understand." Shinji : "Yeah, but I'll take that risk. The way Asuka is right now, the only one she trusts is me. Maybe if she sees me there, Unit-02 might calm down." Ritsuko : "We can't take that risk, Shinji!" Shinji : "She knows me. She cares for me. I care for her, too. I'm not going to just sit here while she destroys herself. Please let me into the cage. Or do I have to break into it myself?" Misato : "Shinji's right, Ritsuko. I know they normally fight a lot, but now it's different. I know. Trust him, okay?" Ritsuko : "You realize that this would mean you'd have to take full responsibility for this, Major." Misato : "Fine." (to Shinji:) "Shinji, can you hear me?" Shinji : "Yes, Misato-san." Misato : "We'll let you in, but you'll have to disconnect your umbilical cable first. You'll have five minutes to disconnect Unit- 02's own cable and get it under control." Shinji : "Yes." Misato : "If you can't, we can't guarantee your safety. We can pour bakelite in after that, but that takes time to harden, and it might be too late. Be careful." Shinji : "I will." Misato : "Let's go!" Shinji ejects the umbilical cable from Unit-01, Ritsuko opens the gate to the cage and Shinji rushes in, running up to Unit-02, which is still beating its head against the wall. He wraps one of his Eva's arms around the berserker's neck to restrain it, tears the cable assembly out of its back and then tries to tilt its head forward to get at the entry plug. Maya : "We can't eject the entry plug! Unit 02 is using its auxiliary circuits! 35 seconds before de-activation!" Shinji, however, isn't listening to this. He's trying his best to remove the armor at the base of Unit-02's neck with only one hand. After a few seconds of struggling, he finally succeeds, and Unit-02's entry plug is now visible. Maya : "Auto-ejection triggered!" Shinji reflexively readies Unit-01's free hand, and a few seconds later the plug shoots out at a very high speed. He catches it just at the right moment and wrestles Unit-02 down to the floor so he can set the plug down. Maya : "Unit shutdown in ten seconds! 9! 8! 7! 6..." Shinji carefully puts Asuka's entry plug on the cage floor and puts both arms around Unit-02 to keep it from getting up and doing more damage. It struggles with Unit-01, and Shinji uses all of his will to hold it down. --- Inside the lab. Maya : "3! 2! 1! 0!! Unit-02 is silent." The light in Unit-02's eyes shuts down, and its body goes limp. Shinji holds on tight to it, just in case. Ritsuko : "It's all right, Shinji. It's shut down now. Good job." Shinji faces the camera inside his plug with the elation of those who fight hard and win on his face, and slowly releases his grip on Unit- 02. Misato : "Why did it reject her?!" Ritsuko : "I really don't know myself, Misato..." --- Back in the cage. After docking Unit-01, Shinji scrambles out of his plug and races down the stairs to the floor of the cage, not stopping until he is standing in front of Asuka's entry plug. With the kind of strength these moments give people, he grabs the emergency handles of the hatch door and starts twisting them. NERV medics run up behind him, ready to take care of any problems Asuka may have. Shinji : "Nnnggggggggggg.......!" The hatch of the plug finally opens, which spills warm LCL all over the floor and himself. But he doesn't pay any attention to that. He sticks his head in and finds Asuka grasping tightly onto the controls, sitting in a pool of residual LCL. Shinji : "Asuka! Are you okay!?" She slowly opens her eyes and looks up at him. Her vision is still a little blurred, but she can make out his face. Asuka (weakly) : "Sh...Shinji...?" Shinji (smiling) : "Come on, we'll take you to the infirmary." Asuka is a bit surprised at first, but then she comes back to her senses. Asuka (smiling warmly) : "It isn't that bad, you know..." The two teens giggle. --- Later. A NERV Hospital Room. Misato, Ritsuko and Shinji are at Asuka's bedside. Misato : "So..." Ritsuko : "It's an interesting theory, I must say. Two 'personali- ties' in the same body. Hers, and her mother's. The shock of the two of them interacting 'blocked' her memories. What a science- fiction story..." Asuka : "But I still can't remember anything yet..." Shinji : "It's still so unbelievable. And I really thought she was amnesic all this time." Ritsuko : "She was and still is. That was a consequence of the encounter of two 'souls,' even if they aren't really 'souls.'" Kaji chooses this moment to come into the hospital room. Kaji : "Hi. May I join you?" Misato : "Yeah, yeah, you can..." He takes a chair and sits down in front of Asuka. Ritsuko : "So, I don't think we'll get the old Asuka back, will we?" Asuka : "I'm sorry, Akagi-san. I really can't remember anything..." Shinji : "I'm sure there's a way..." Kaji (grinning) : "Tell me, Shinji, do you really want to get the old Asuka back?" Shinji looks down and blushes a little. Misato : "Thinking about it, Shinji-kun, I don't think it would be wise...the one we have know is quieter than the old one..." Asuka is listening with a little smile, almost a grin, on her face. Shinji : "Yes, but..." Asuka : "Hey, Shinji. I want to go out sometime when I leave this hospital. Will you take me somewhere where we could have some fun together?" Shinji turns redder than he was a little while ago. Misato (teasing) : "Hey hey hey! Way to go, Shinji-kun!" Kaji chuckles, while Ritsuko stays her usual serious self. Shinji (to Asuka) : "Y-yeah...I think I'd like to." Ritsuko (now smiling a bit) : "Well, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I don't think you'll be having any fun for now. I have to run some other tests on Asuka. Your 'date' will have to wait one or two days." Shinji : "Don't do any harm to Asuka, please." Ritsuko : "Well, I'll try not to. She'll be able to go home tonight, don't worry. But tomorrow, she'll have to come back here. Okay?" --- That night, at Misato's apartment. Shinji is looking at the sky from the balcony of his room. Asuka : "May I join you?" Shinji (without looking at her) : "Yeah, yeah..." She walks up to him and props herself against the balcony, next to him. Asuka : "I really hate my room. I feel better in yours. I feel more... calm...more...more at peace." Shinji : "..." She then looks up at the sky, too. Asuka : "I like to look at the stars, too, you know...we can see many beautiful things, sometimes." Shinji (nodding) : "Hmmm..." Pause. Shinji suddenly looks down at the street below. Shinji : "I'm sorry, Asuka." Asuka : "Why do you feel sorry? There's nothing to apologize for." Shinji : "If I could have, I would have convinced Misato to not let you take that test..." Asuka : "Hey, it would have happened sooner or later! Don't say that!" Shinji : "...you're right..." Asuka takes advantage of the little pause in their conversation to rest her head on his shoulder. Shinji notices this, and gets a little nervous. Shinji (to himself) : "Why am I trembling like this? I don't have...to hide my feelings from her...not from *this* Asuka..." (to Asuka:) "Asuka. I...I...don't know exactly how to say this, b-but...I think I..." Asuka : "Yeah? Come on, tell me what's on your mind." Shinji : "...I love you, Asuka." Asuka is a bit shocked to hear this, even though, deep inside, she's smiling to herself... Shinji : "I want to be with you, forever. Please...don't tell me you don't feel the same way..." Asuka : "Hey, didn't I tell you a few days ago that I trust you? And where am I resting *now*, baka Shinji...?" She looks him right in the eyes, and he looks back into hers. The emotional feedback between the two of them is so overpowering that Shinji doesn't even notice that Asuka just called him 'baka Shinji'... Shinji (blushing a bit) : "I remember...the first time I saw you leaving the bathroom...you looked so cute in that towel...it was the last night of our synchronization week." Asuka hears a little voice in her head. Voice : "Come on, Asuka-chan, tell him now..." She thinks about it for a few moments before looking at Shinji, who is now looking at the stars in the Tokyo-3 sky again. Asuka (softly, but still with a little grin on her face) : "You know, part of me hoped that you would have kissed me that night." Shinji's brain only registers what Asuka just said a few moments later. He turns his head to look at her. But, before he realizes it, she has her arms loosely but firmly around his neck. He wants to say something, but his lips are now too busy to talk as Asuka plants a passionate kiss on them... Asuka (while kissing Shinji, to herself) : "Thank you, mama..." --- END --- Author's notes: I know some of you are gonna be disappointed by the fic ending there, but it had to be done this way. Anyways, I hope you liked it! One of my pre-readers told me that it was somehow like a trilogy: Introduction, development and conclusion. And when I look back at the two other parts, I think he's right! Mega-thanks to Alain Gravel, for all the support he gave me in this part. I asked him many times if some things would fit into the story and he suggested part of the ending scene to me. Now, all of my pre-readers: Al-I-Bus, Alain Gravel, Borderline Case, Cedric Ranson, Dave Watson, EBJ, Eva_Pilot00, Godsend777, Greg Thomas, Jayson Deare, DJ Lesser, Kaoru Nagisa, Jon Byram, Pheaton, Readiosys Fisher, Sammy Sy, Shinji the 10 O'clock Assassin, Sudhoya'da, Sushi Boy, and Yousef Al-Samshi! Whoa! What a crew! I'm wondering if I have the biggest number of pre- readers in the fanfic world! :-) This fic is archived on the following sites: ASUKA's Notebook (http://asukanotebook.tsx.org) RAAC Archive (ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works/Evangelion) Everything's Anime--Fanfiction (http://members.xoom.com/cybergig1) In Other Words--A Fanfiction Archive (http://members.xoom.com/otherwords) SDAT--An Evangelion Fanfiction Database (http://w3.to/superdat) And I think that's all (for now!) Thanks for reading. See you soon! Axel Terizaki -- AxelT - ICQ# 34301980 ASUKA's Notebook ---Asuka : "Rien ne sera plus comme avant, Hikari! Je suis une mère maintenant! Tu ne peux pas comprendre CA! J'ai des responsabilités! J'ai quelqu'un à protèger, [...] Teri compte vraiment beaucoup pour moi, tu sais...Je l'aime tellement! Même si elle n'est pas encore là, j'aime ma fille!" D'aprés "The Child Of Love", fanfiction sur Evangelion Huitième Mois de la grossesse de Sohryu Asuka Langley.