From: Jonathan Gaters ************************************************************************ Author: Jonathan K. Gaters (a.k.a. Nathaniel Landry-Gaters, a.k.a. Kifa Mundu [only if you're in the PSDF]) E-mail: KatarnX2B@NetZero.net Genre: Humor Title: Preach Gendo! PREACH! Time: 12:21am Cause: I'm insane. And I was talking to Strike Fiss. Speacial Thanks To: Bumfuck Idaho, too funny not to mention. And Ice, Texas, how stupid can you get?!?! Public Service Message #1: Ban country music. Stop inbreeding. Public Service Message #2: Help keep the genepool clean. Kill an idiot. Public Service Message #3: Ask me about killing cats for fun and profit! ************************************************************************ SCENE: Inside one of NERV's ridiculusly large auditoriums. Gendo is seated immediate behind a podium setup at the front-center of the stage. He is surrounded by the rest of the command staff, who are seated as well. Gendo: (Suddenly picking up the bold manerisms of a Southern Baptist preacher) Now! I come here to talk to you today about somethin'! Somethin' very important to this world! I've come to talk to you today about _EEEVIL_!! Gendo: Now, now, I know what you're thinking; "Isn't evil bad?" I'm here to tell you _NOOO_!! _EEVIL_ _IS_ _GOOOD_!! Gendo: (Taking out a small cloth and dabbing at the seat on his forehead.) Let me break this down for you. Now good and evil are just like light and dark. You can't have one without the other! What would a sunny day be if every day was sunny?! Crowd: (Mumurs of agreement) Gendo: Now if you need something to have good, then what you need must be good as well. Ya hear me?! Guy In Crowd #1: hear ya! Gendo: I said, "CAN YA HEEAR ME!?!?!" Crowd: WE HEEAR YA!! Gendo: CAN I GET AN _AMEN_!! Crowd: _AMEN_!!! Gendo: I said, "CAN I GET AN _AMEN_!!" Crowd: _AMEN_!!! Ritsuko: (Quietly to Misato) What was that you put in his coffee?! Misato: (Looking as astonished as anyone) Nothing! Just laxative!! God, I'm twisted...