From: "Rakna" Visions (a TOILI side-story) by Alain Gravel http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Teahouse/2236/ This story is copyright Alain Gravel, 1999. Based on characters created by and copyright GAINAX. Started on July 6th 1999 Revised on July 7th 1999 ======================================================== It felt... odd. This was the only way she could describe it. She knew it was irrational, but she didn't really feel at ease, sitting inside Unit-01 entry plug. There was this nagging impression of deja-vu, associated with some anxiety. And there was this presence. No, not quite a presence. More like... a shadow, an echo of the previous pilot. "So, Rei, how does it feel piloting Unit-01 for the first time?" "It smells like Ikari." * * * The initial connections to the EVA went without problems, as she had expected. She had total faith in Commander Ikari. She knew that he wouldn't have let the events of Unit-00's activation happen again. Only when the A10 Nerve connection was established did she feel something strange. She gasped. Images, visions entering her mind. Memories. Those of Ikari Shinji. Vision of Rei, standing in the middle of the street of Tokyo-3. 'Is it me? I do not recall this...' Vision of Shinji, holding an injured Rei in the middle of the 3rd Angel attack. 'Did you pilot... for me?' Vision of Shinji, facing the Third Angel. 'This emotion. Is this fear?' Vision of Shinji, facing the Fourth Angel. 'These feelings... Pain and loneliness?' Vision of Rei, talking with Commander Ikari. 'What is this? Jealousy? Is this jealousy? Are you jealous of me?' Vision of Shinji, looking at her ID card. 'You find me... cute?' Vision of Shinji looking at her, as he stood over her naked body. 'Embarrassment. Yet, there is something else...' Vision of Rei, slapping Shinji. 'His words had... angered me. An odd feeling.' Vision of Rei's silhouette through a curtain, as she put her plugsuit on before the battle against the Fifth Angel. 'This feeling again... Is this... desire?' Vision of Shinji, looking at her, tears in his eyes, after he had rescued her from Unit-00's entry plug. 'Sadness. Yet, relief and happiness?' Vision of Asuka, on their first encounter. 'The Second Children.' Vision of Asuka, partly naked, as she put her plugsuit on. 'These emotions again. Embarrassment and desire.' Vision of Asuka breasts, as she laid just beside him. 'Desire again. Why?' Vision of Asuka, as Shinji tried to kiss her. 'He... he tried to kiss her...' Vision of Asuka leaning over him in her bathing suit. 'He finds her attractive.' Vision of Rei, in her bathing suit, drying herself. 'But he finds me attractive as well...' Vision of Unit-02, as Unit-01 saved it in-extremis from falling inside the volcano. 'This relief... He was glad that he could save her. The same feeling he felt as he took me out of Unit-00's entry plug, after the Fifth Angel battle.' Other visions of Asuka. Asuka teasing him. Asuka yelling at him. Asuka in her school uniform. Asuka in her yellow dress. Asuka only wearing a towel. Asuka, Asuka, Asuka... 'Why her? Why?! WHY?!' "Okay, test complete. Rei, your job is over." The voice of Dr. Akagi startled her, even if it didn't show on her face. "Hai." 'What were those feelings? Was I... jealous of her? Do I... have... feelings for Ikari-kun?' As she let her body relax, Ayanami Rei let out a sigh, making some bubbles into the LCL. "Ikari-kun," she whispered. * * * As she stood at the infirmary room entrance and looked at the sleeping form of the boy, for the first time of her life, Ayanami Rei didn't know what to do. What she had experienced today felt so confusing. Emotions that she had never felt, but yet recognized. And now that she looked at the boy, she could feel them inside her. Relief and happiness. She was happy that the boy was unharmed. Why? Why did she feel this way? She approached the bed and looked more closely at the boy. His face was an expression of peace and serenity. She felt a new impression. It almost hit her like a wave. Quickly, she compared the feeling to those she experienced inside Unit-01. "Do I find you attractive?" she whispered. As she pondered on this question, she could only come to a conclusion. She did. "What are you, Ikari Shinji? What are you to me?" The old, clinincal answer came to mind. A co-worker. The Commander's son. No, she realized. He was more. He had feelings for her. She had protected him and he had helped her in return. She thought back to that day where she protected Unit-01 from the blast of the Fifth Angel with her own EVA. Did she act only because those were her orders? No. There had been something else. Faint, in the back of her mind, but it had been there. "Do I... care for you?" A simple question, yet it was almost a revelation. Yes. Yes, she did. The boy stirred. He would wake soon. Not knowing what to do, the girl fled. Fear. Another emotion she wasn't accustomed to. The girl walked through the streets of Tokyo-3, lost and confused. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to feel that way. She was just a tool. Something that could be replaced. Yet... Should she talk to Commander Ikari? It would be the most advised course of action. But... he had let his son be hurt in Unit-00... Was the young Ikari right? Could the Commander be really trusted? She shook her head. Surely he could. However, she decided against talking to him. If she buried them deep, maybe she would forget those new feelings she now felt... After minutes that felt like hours, the young girl reached her apartment and let herself fall on her bed, exhausted of trying not to be engulfed by this maelstrom of newly awakened feelings. As she buried her face into her pillow, she realized that she just couldn't ignore what she experienced right now. Again and again, her mind replayed the last visions she saw while synchronized to Unit-01. Sohryu. The Second Child. No! She would not let her have him. She wouldn't. "Ikari-kun is mine..." ======================================================== Author's notes: While this story can be considered as a stand-alone one- shot, it's really a prelude to the Prologue of "The One I Love Is...". One of the weaknesses of TOILI is the way Rei is OOC. So I wondered... Where did the emotions come from? The answer came a bit later when I debated with one of my pre-readers on the subject of good one-shot Rei/Shinji stories. "Two hearts of one mind" came to mind and I quickly thought of basing something on it's premise: Rei realizing her feelings for Shinji because of the compatibility tests with Unit-01. Not quite original, but effective. Alain Gravel rakna@globetrotter.qc.ca July 6th 1999