The Interference of Reality on Modern Otaku Life
I present to you my greatest masterpiece ever, after the jump.
otaku lifestyle crisis
a pile of unplayed ero-games, weekend, spent on php, preorders, forgotten until time for release. otaku lifestyle crisis,
a dozen series, a long long way.
disk space, less than one tenth free,
wallet, emptied to pay for plastic things.
school holidays this time is supposed to be,
why is my calendar packed like cans of sardines?
weekdays, booked from dawn till dusk.
nus is a nice place to be,
but that project deadline will soon pass.
jlpt on december three,
maybe i should get started on that task…
figurines, all made in china, priced in yen.
maybe i shouldn’t have bought those haruhi dvds,
only when the orders ship, do you feel the pain.
curse amazon jp and its fiendish schemes,
product recommendations and nhk be my bane.
i need a money press and a time machine.
～ fin. ～
＿|￣|O
November 27th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
Try optimizing your spending – create estimates for Entertainment/Time curves for products that you intend to purchase, and see which ones are more optimal for the funds that you have. Avoid purchases made on the spur of the moment / for the sole purpose of fanboyism.
A good trick is never to buy on first look – by the time you get a second look, you may have regained enough sanity to not want a product as much any more. :P
Trackback from
DarkMirage’s Otaku Crisis - Aside at AnimeLifeNovember 27th, 2006 at 3:58 pm
[...] DarkMirage has a nice little poem on his Otaku Lifestyle Crisis. Nice poem, DarkMirage. And oh, yeah go get your daily moe from his newly-opened site. By the way, some of it’s NSFW and some is not (SFW). [...]
November 27th, 2006 at 3:59 pm
I like poem.
November 27th, 2006 at 4:00 pm
*golf claps*
True say, my friend, true say.
November 27th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
Awesome poem. Clearly describes your life now.
November 27th, 2006 at 4:50 pm
You’re an upgraded version of Satou! The poet version.
November 27th, 2006 at 4:51 pm
OMFG u got the money to get all of haruhi’s DVDS??
November 27th, 2006 at 5:07 pm
Actually, I’m missing vol.00… orz
November 27th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
This comment box doesn’t seem to support Chinese language. I shall attempt again.
一堆未碰AVG
整打系列路远兮
硬盘少于十分一
钱包清空购玩具
现应是学校假期
日历却似沙丁鱼
周末耗在PHP
余日忙从朝至夕
国大固是桃源地
但逢功课近过期
十二三JLPT
或许已该勤温习
预订皆售方忆起
陆制模型日元抵
悔买春日DVD
临货运时才惜金
操亚马逊这吊逼
物介NHK互袭
御宅生活大危机
我需印钱时光机
~完~
＿|￣|O
November 27th, 2006 at 8:20 pm
This chinese version is impressive. XD
DM, sit tight and have faith in the God-Empress. She will tide you over this crisis.
November 27th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
Need money ? Go pick up a part-time job :D
November 27th, 2006 at 8:50 pm
My friend, this is a sign of greatness.
Can I have your autograph while you are on your path to internet celebrity-ness?
November 27th, 2006 at 9:25 pm
That, DM, was genius. You have just hit all the problems that plague otakus worldwide on the dead.
November 27th, 2006 at 10:08 pm
It’s sad but the picture forced me to laugh…
I was thinking of commenting this with another poem but gave up as I, unlike you, lack creativity XD
November 27th, 2006 at 10:44 pm
I well-written poem, if I do say so myself. Hits the mark on the dread of the “Otaku Lifestyle”.
You need to check on yourself. You seems miserable. ^^
November 27th, 2006 at 10:45 pm
Both Poems are impressive… OO
Especially the Chinese one…pure awesomeness!!!
November 27th, 2006 at 11:28 pm
@Shawn If you don’t have the creativity to produce a poem you could always do it my way: Translate present stuff!
Maybe you could do a Korean version
@abao Thanks.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:55 am
I say: insufficient phail! (we all know phail is a good thing, right?)
I would so have added an exponent of angst for maximum zomg factor! :P
November 28th, 2006 at 8:18 am
IT’S A CONSPIRACY! :
November 28th, 2006 at 12:21 pm
ahhh the details of life just becomes so much more definitive when it becomes poetical. it seems that when in times of crisis, the wise only get wiser….though their pockets aren’t as fortunate. great poems, hope one day i, too, can master such art and skills as thou have presented.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:23 pm
By LianYL’s suggestion, here’re my crappy attempts in translating the poem into Korean and Italian. My Korean grammar shucks, though… It was tough to match the lines on the Korean version. I wonder why I did it XD… The Italian version looks bad because I couldn’t adjust the verse lengths.
시작않한 에로게 잔뜩 싸이고,
만화영화 시리즈 한참 남았고.
사용가능 용량은 일할 안남고,
플라스틱 사려고 지갑 비었고.
방학시간 현제라 다들 쉬는데,
어쩨선지 내달력 꽉꽉 차였나?
주말들은 php가 다잡아먹고,
평일들은 아침부터 쉴세도 없고.
NUS, 남아있기 좋은곳인데,
이제 금방 이시간 가버릴 거라네.
JLPT 시월 삼일, 그날이라네,
이제 슬슬 준비를 시작 해야갰네
물품예약, 발매까지 잊어버리네.
인형들은 중국산뿐, 엔으로 사네.
스즈미야 디비디들, 왜 사둔걸까,
주문품이 도착해야 고통스럽나.
아마존 jp 그리고 그것의 음모 즐,
제품추천, NHK, 나의 파멸이노라.
오타쿠 생활습관 절대절명 의기,
경제신문, 타임머신, 둘다 필요해.
~끝~
＿|￣|O
Una montagna di eroge non giocati,
Una dozzina di serie, una lunga lunga via.
Spazio sul disco, meno di un decimo,
Portafoglio, svuotato per comprare robe di plastica.
Vacanze questi giorni devono esser,
Perche` perche`, il mio calendario e` pieno zecco?
Fine settimana, spesi su php,
Altri giorni, occupato dall’alba fin sera.
NUS e` un bel posto in qui stare,
Ma quel progetto scadera` in men che non si dica.
JLPT, il tre Dicembre,
Forse devo cominciare quel lavoro…
Preordini, dimenticati fino all’ora del rilascio.
Figurine, tutte cinesi, valgono in Yen.
Forse non avrei dovuto comprare quei DVD di Haruhi,
Soltanto dopo che i beni son spediti senti il dolore.
Vaffanbagno ad amazon jp e i suoi schemi bestiali,
Raccomandazioni dei prodotti e NHK siano la mia rovina.
Stile di vita da otaku in crisi,
Ho bisogno di un Money Press e una macchina del tempo.
~FINE~
＿|￣|O
Sorry for using so much space XD
November 28th, 2006 at 1:39 pm
Nice poem. It’s meaningful. *thumbs up*
Well, disc space is always a problem. Don’t sweat.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Now for a Japanese version.
November 29th, 2006 at 10:58 am
Um… nice rhythm to it ^_^.
November 29th, 2006 at 8:29 pm
Holy Mother of… … … … …
Did I step into a bizarro universe where DM’s blog suddenly turned into a LiveJournal account?
I must be having a nightmare.
November 30th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
one word : gun
everythings possible with a gun (well almost).
December 1st, 2006 at 1:07 am
Attempts A-level lit examination of the poem:
December 1st, 2006 at 1:50 am
In this poem, the poet attempt to express his woes from the lifestyle he is living. This was put across to the reader through the use of pitiful tone, a distinct form of word arrangement, and images to express his diasatifcation with his own life. He is very sucessful in expressing his despair.
The first noticeable part of form is the upturned cone-shaped first stanza. The increasingly lengthening lines convey a sense of increasing trama and dispair. Each line conveys one of the poet’s woes. With each new line, the reader is given a deeper sense of problem, and gets surrounded more deeply with an increasing trepidation. This is because the poet effectively outline one problem in each line, deepenig the sense of problems building up. This is effective as the reading time of each line(based on the number of syllabels) also increases, making the feeling very apparent. The lines created by the cone shape of the first stanza also serves to create a sense of entrance, into the poem.
The next point I will discuss is the poet’s use of Rhyme in the poem. In the second stanza, the poet uses an alternating-line rhyme structure. words such as “P”, “be” and “three”, as well as “dusk”, “pass” and “task” serve to secure in the reader the sense of amounting problems already created in stanza one. The repeating rhymes create a feeling of repitition. It is this repitition that also gives the reader the feeling that the problems arising repeatedly, hence deepening the enclosure of despair. The repeating effect also drives in the message that the poet is feeling distressed. This is effective as the entire stanza is filled with rhyme. Hence, because of the continuity of the rhyme, the reader is not given any respite from the friving-in of the message. Along with the despair, a sense of weakening is also given.
The poet uses a sharp, ironic, and cynical choice of diction to end the poem. The curtness of the line “i need a money press and a time machine.” expresses the actual hopelessness of the poet’s situation. The hope for an impossibility of arbitrarily large amounts of money and time reveal the poet’s self-mocking edge. The wish for something impossible and the hopelessness of the event occuring puts across the poet’s own hopelessness. This is effective as the the impossibility is immediately apparent to the reader and as readers, by common sense, we immediately recognise the impossibility and hopelessness.
I would go one with this critical analysis, like with the avoidance of caps and other stuff but I am too tired right now…night
December 2nd, 2006 at 12:01 pm
hahahaha
I literally bursted out laughing when I saw that long comment coming in.. oh dear oh dear
be happy you actually have a version of your poem in the very own language of Dante
December 2nd, 2006 at 6:52 pm
:O I didn’t know those things. I learnt something new.
And the reason why there are no caps: it looks better. :P
December 12th, 2006 at 11:47 am
too many pretty merchandise, too little shelf space and cash. I feel your pain too. =(
Trackback from
Astrobunny’s little piece of reality » My Otaku poem.April 27th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
[...] This is a Japanese ripoff of DarkMirage’s old (yes I am quite late) Otaku Lifestyle Crisis poem. The original is here [...]
April 27th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
I’m pretty late :p but this is another version of the poem in Japanese XD… Japanese ain’t one of my strongest points but heh! Feel free to comment!
http://www.astrobunny.net/2007/04/27/my-otaku-poem/
November 10th, 2007 at 8:19 am
hmm…. i just curious, what will u do to every figures that u have made collection ….
just keep that thing huh.. sory just asking nothing matter