Following my recent review of the so-wrong-yet-so-right tsuncest (yes I just made that up) PSP game OreImo, this article from Otome Sugoren seems timely. Of course, I do not personally read what appears to be the Japanese equivalent of Cosmopolitan and was merely linked to this particular article. Please don’t judge me.

So anyway, here are the top eight classic tsundere lines chosen by Otome Sugoren’s highly scientific surveys (lol) for your guilt-ridden perusal.

So tsundere that she is used as the textbook example

Number 1: “hima datta kara!”
The girl calls you up saying, “I had nothing else to do!”

Girls who call you for no particular reasons to grace you with their company because they are “free”. The way they stubbornly stick to their excuse is cute. Guys sense a hint of affection behind such statements and feel happy.

“I guess your present is okay…”

Number 2: “tekitou ni oitoite yo”
Presented with a gift, the girl says, “Just leave it somewhere” and receives the gift haphazardly, but her face looks very happy.

Although they try to act like they do not care about the gift, their grinning expressions make you feel at ease. Girls who try to maintain a facade contrary to their true feelings can melt a guy’s heart.

She doesn’t need your help

Number 3: “hontou wa jibun de dekirun dakedo”
The girl asks for your help but stresses, “I could’ve done it myself.”

For example, smart and confident girls who have problems with electronics may try to hide their shortcomings when asking for help. Girls who try to hide their weakness but fail can be seen as adorable by guys.

She’s just encouraging you

Number 4: “darashiganai otoko dane! “
The girl complains, “You are such a slob!” but still helps you out.

The senpai at your part-time job who scolds you for messing up but covers up your mistakes perfectly. No matter how much they complain, these girls still can’t help but lend you a hand in the end. Guys love the maternal instinct.

>:|

Number 5: “bakka jyanai no!”
“Are you stupid?” The girl curses at you but still accepts you for who you are.

You quit your job without consulting her and she asks if you are an idiot, but in the end consoles you and says, “If you really can’t find a job, I’ll support you.” No matter how angry they get, these girls stand by you in the end. Their affection gives guys peace of mind.

The forgotten dark history

Number 6: “anta, douse hima desho!”
The girl says, “You are free anyway, right?” and asks you out on a date.

The girl is trying to make an underhand remark about how you have no one else to go on dates with, but nevertheless it makes you smile. Guys enjoy the back-and-forth process in establishing an “unspoken understanding” with such girls.

It’s no big deal.

Number 7: “arigataku omoinasai yo!”
The girl hands you a present and says, “You had better be grateful” while avoiding your glance.

Girls who try to hide their embarrassment by doing this are unbearably cute. Their snide contradictory remarks accentuate the importance of their actions and make their love for you stand out even more prominently.

Has this line ever been truthful in the course of human history?

Number 8: “tsuide ni tsukutta dake dayo!”
The girl prepares a bento filled with love for you, but says, “I just happened to make some extra!”

Even though she claims it wasn’t meant for you, the bento is for some reason full of your favourite food. A homemade bento alone is already a powerful item for winning a guy’s heart, but its effects are made even more powerful by the fact that it is inexplicably sumptuous despite being made “incidentally”.

She is not blushing

Tellingly, most of the statements end with an exclamation mark. Ah… who doesn’t love a tsundere girl?

Now you know enough lines to write your own light novel! Just repeat each one 500 times and you are all set. If you need more inspirations, you can try this CD.

It is surprisingly difficult to find pictures of tsundere girls looking tsun.

According to Nico Nico Pedia, ξﾟ⊿ﾟ)ξ is the official emoticon for tsundere. It depicts a twin-tail girl making an unhappy face.

And to end on a wtf note.

I’ve been following Kadokawa Shoten CEO Shinichirou Inoue’s Twitter feed for a while mainly due to Bill 156. Today, he posted a tweet saying that a huge announcement for Suzumiya Haruhi will be published in the next issue of Kadokawa’s The Sneaker magazine (the bi-monthly that the original light novels are serialized in) coming out on Dec 27th.

Given the complete lack of information, I am just going to make a completely baseless guess and call it now: live action movie adaptation of the original Yuuutsu story arc! (No, not this one.) Remember you heard it here first.

Well, at the very least, I think we can be sure that it won’t be a new special rip-off remastered edition of the DVDs, since the Blu-ray box only just came out.

And so it begins, just as the prophecies predicted (somewhat ambiguously). The thundering cries of male ecstasy shake the ground as hordes of frenzied fanboys awake from their winter slumber and descend upon the unsuspecting intarweb. As onslaught and carnage devastate 4chan, no one notices any difference. The absolutist doctrine of the Great One sweeps across the land, engulfing it in a chaotic whirlwind of moé and unleashing upon its innocent a renewed crusade. Throughout history, it has been called many names — ragnarok, apocalypse, rapture — but they are all one and the same. The end of time is finally upon us. The Second Coming of Haruhi.

One day in the distant future, after humanity recovers from a global cataclysm and historians attempt to piece together the past from fragmented chunks of centuries-old hard disk drives, the above paragraph will be so epic. But until then, let’s talk about this new Haruhi thingamogie.

Let’s see… The brand new episode aired on the 22nd. It is now the night of the 24th. We can therefore safely assume that every single person on Earth with a pair of working eyeballs has already watched the episode thrice and written two blog entries on it, except me. As a result, there is little point for me to talk about the episode itself, which by the way is awesome.

How about we talk about relativity instead. Now, as the theory of relativity as put forth by Einstein — and no doubt originally conceptualized by Haruhi before she assumed her present human form — predicts, nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. The phrasing of this statement is however somewhat misleading, as the equation doesn’t necessarily prove that nothing travels faster than the speed of light. It merely shows that it takes an infinite amount of energy to accelerate any mass to a speed infinitesimally close to the speed of light, which logically means that we cannot accelerate a mass to light speed and beyond due to the lack of sufficient energy in the universe. Also, a mass travelling at light speed gives a divide by zero error which crashes the universe’s operating system, Mac OS Ω.

However, something travelling faster than the speed of light is within the realms of theoretical imagination; the entity merely has to do so without having had to accelerate pass the light barrier. This means that either it has always been in the state of faster-than-light speed travel, or it had its kinetic reference frame instantly changed via some kind of apparent violation of the laws of energy conservation (e.g. when you jump through the portal in that awesome game with the psychopathic feminine robotic jailer). The exact state of any “entity” doing so and its subsequent interaction with the flow of time as perceived by ordinary matter such as us will forever remain a mystery except to the subconscious of the Haruhi overmind. It also probably can’t have any “mass” (as we know the term) unless it wants to deal with imaginary numbers.

This brings us to Haruhi’s wish for the Earth to reverse its direction of rotation. Though theoratically her message is being sent out at the speed of light in the form of the light reflecting off her handwritten note, the message itself does not need to be bounded by its medium. A wish is but information, and although electromagnetic radiation is the fastest information carrier known to mere mortals, there is a high likelihood that a more fundamental medium, which Haruhi’s true form operates in, exists. Also, it is safe to say that due to attenuation the electromagnetic information radiating from her tanabata paper will never reach Altair and Vega in any readable form, even by higher beings wielding godly powers.

Therefore, since we do know that the information representing her wish will in fact reach Altair and Vega (due to the fact that she is the supreme creator) but at the same time this information cannot be conveyed by light, we can conclusively say that some kind of unknown cosmic force is at work in transmitting this information and this force is probably not bounded by the limited equations as put forth by the divinely-inspired Einstein. Also, isn’t Mikuru cute? She’s never been my favourite character, but oh isn’t she so cute?

So cute

Anyway, back to the mortal world. It appears that Kyo-ani has outdone itself again this time. I’m not talking about the show itself, but rather the fact that these geniuses have managed to conceive a cunning plan to force people to essentially rewatch the first season, effectively doubling the number of episodes in the second run without incurring any additional cost. Kyo-ani has rejected the boring old concept of “second season” and replaced it with the new-age hipness that is a remixed hodgepodge of new episodes and old episodes sorted by chronological order.

Since some of the new episodes actually take place before some of the old ones, this brilliant tactical move has completely screwed up our concept of the space-time continuum grouping episodes by seasons and numbers. It’s kind of like relativity: depending on the reference frame of the observer, this is either episode 1 or episode 8. I’m going with the former because I reject Kyo-ani’s fancy smancy liberal elitist broadcasting order.

Of course this also means that we can’t tell when the next new episode will be out. It’s kind of like Schrödinger’s Cat: until the next episode airs and gets fansubbed by ten dozen groups, thus collapsing the quantum wave equation, we won’t know for sure whether it will be a new or old episode. How exciting. Although, I suppose one could just collapse the wave equation before that by reading Newtype episode summaries or something, but where’s the fun in that?

On a final closing note, here’s a shocking confession: unlike everyone else, I took the initiative NOT to read the original novels beyond the third book. My experiences with the “first season” (damn you Kyo-ani!) led me to believe that this will result in a much more enjoyable viewing experience. Nagaru Tanigawa may be a genius for coming up with Haruhi (or rather, being influenced by Haruhi’s subconscious to write a book about her), but the story only truly comes to life as animated by Kyo-ani. Reading the novels just feels too much like cheating.

It is therefore in this open spirit of ignorance that I shall blog the rest of the “season” (damn you Kyo-ani!), so please keep that in mind when you post any comments. If you want to discuss unaired plot development from the novel, this is not the place to do it. Instead, you can talk about how adorable Mikuru is in this episode and how the theory of relativity is awesome.

P.S. If I were Kyon, I’d screw up the past just for the lulz.

Apparently some time during the past few months, I found it within me the sudden urge to preorder both the PS2 and PSP Haruhi game releases, despite the fact that I didn’t actually own a PSP at that point of time. (I do now.) Wow, this is sort of like receiving a belated birthday present from an unknown stranger who broke into my bank account to pay for it.

More pictures after the break.

Suzumiya Haruhi no Tomadoi

Box front

Box back

Box side

DVD case front

DVD case back (crappy photography alert)

The figurine that comes with Suzumiya Haruhi no Tomadoi (PS2) is pretty damn crappy. I’ve seen better gachapon then this sad pathetic excuse for a collectible. Okay, so it’s not that bad, and I’m keeping it in its packaging anyway so it makes no difference. Feh.

Special preorder disc front

Special preorder disc back

The preorder-only disc that comes with the PS2 game is pretty cool. It’s basically the Hare Hare Yukai dance done in full three dee. It’s not long now before cel-shading filters supersede 2D completely. I had of course already seen the dance video on YouTube beforehand, but whatever.

Suzumiya Haruhi no Yakusoku

Box front

Box back

Suzumiya Haruhi no Yakusoku (PSP) comes in a packaging that totally looks like there’s a PSP inside, but there isn’t. It’s just a bunch of useless trinkets made by underpaid labour that will break within five seconds if you ever attempt to ever use them. I just keep mine in their bubble wraps.

UMD case and useless junk

UMD case back

Gundam 00 Singles

Surprsingly, it seems that I actually bought the new Gundam 00 first press singles even though, according to some, I hate the show and shouldn’t be blogging about it. This must be some kind of terrible mistake!

Ash Like Snow – CD case front

Ash Like Snow – CD case back

Friends – CD case front

Friends – CD case back

Ash Like Snow first press comes with Allelujah’s ID card and Friends first press comes with Tieria’s ID card. Unfortunately (or perhaps thankfully) you won’t get to see how they look like here, because I have a policy of not opening my CDs. Japanese labels could sell me nicely-packaged blank CD-Rs and I wouldn’t ever find out. Then again, not pressing the CD probably doesn’t save Sony that much money, so I’ll trust them on this.

Friends also comes with a B2 poster that uses the same illustration of Setsuna as the back of the jewel case.

I guess I’ll just go set the CDs on fire now since apparently I hate G00 very much.

After entering K, N, S, A, K and clicking the button, you will be presented with a console terminal running Yuki’s escape program.

これをあなたが読んでいるæ‚、わたしはわたしではないだろう。
By the time you are reading this, I am probably no longer myself.

このメッセージが表示されたということは、そこにはあなた、わたし、涼宮ハルヒ、朝比奈みくる、古泉一樹が存在しているはずである。
Since this message is being displayed, it means that you, me, Haruhi Suzumiya, Mikuru Asahina and Itsuki Koizumi exist in that world.

それが鍵。あなたは解答を見つけ出した。
That is the key. You have found the answer.

これは緊急脱出プログラムである。起動させる場合はエンターキーを、そうでない場合はそれ以外のキーを選択せよ。起動させた場合、あなたはæ‚空修正の機会を得る。ただし成功は保障できない。また帰還の保障もできない。
This is an emergency escape program. Press the Enter key to activate it, or press any other key to abort. If activated, you will receive a chance to repair the space-time continuum. However, I cannot guarantee that it will succeed. Neither can I guarantee your return.

このプログラムが起動ãã‚‹ã®ã¯ä¸€åº¦ãã‚Šã§ã‚る。実行ののち、消去される。非実行が選択された場合は起動せずに消去される。Ready?
This program can only be activated once. It will be deleted immediately upon execution. If you choose to abort, the program will be deleted without being executed. Ready?

After hitting the Enter key, you are brought to this page displaying a single JPG picture. The picture says that Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu season 2 has been cancelled but a new Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu anime series has been confirmed. I’m guessing they are planning to change the title of the new series to Suzumiya Haruhi no Shoushitsu (The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya).

The new director will be Yasuhiro Takemoto, who also directed Full Metal Panic! The Second Raid and Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu. And of course, it’s still Kyoto Animation.

On another note, this website now has a Haruhi and Yuki banner in addition to the Miku one.

Picture stolen from Hobby Blog (possible stolen from elsewhere)

I can see the appeal of covering your real car with decals of your favourite anime goddess, and I can see the appeal of building plastic models. But good things aren’t always better when mixed together, like ice-cream and curry. Also, that thing is covered with way too many decals. I think just having one decal on the front hood would’ve been in better taste. More pictures here.

[ Source: Hobby Blog via Kotaku ]

It seems that some business executives are trying too hard to bring in otaku money. Just two days ago, reports surfaced that there’s a (unconfirmed) plan to start off this year’s Kouhaku Uta Gassen with an akiba-kei performance by AKB48, Shouko Nakagawa (famous girl gamer cum cosplay idol often seen promoting new games) and Leah Dizon.

I’m still trying to figure out why Leah Dizon is in there. For Haruhi’s sake, NHK! At least find some decent singers if you’re aiming for the otaku-friendly image. Like KOTOKO or Yui Horie. Jeez.

I haven’t received my Haruhi Vol.4 DVD yet, so I don’t know if there’s anything else in there. But long story short, Lucky Star is licensed. Video embedded after the break.

Actually, I wonder how well Lucky Star will fare… It’s definitely not Haruhi’s kind of awe-inspiring existential sci-fi high school moé adventure, and the otaku jokes get quite hardcore on some occasions. How many anime fans in America have actually heard of Animate‘s tenchou?

And slightly off-topic, I really hate what Bandai did to the limited edition R1 releases for Haruhi. The DVDs come with way too much useless crap and the thin cardboard box feels cheap. I would gladly do without the Haruhi hair ribbon and other miscellaneous trinkets in exchange for cooler-looking and more durable DVD packagings. I still bought them anyway but that’s only because I’m an idiot. Oh well.

Apparently it’s a sample of some content that Bandai is planning for Suzumiya Haruhi no Yakusoku‘s (the PSP game) homepage. It’s hard to do nice-looking cel-shaded 3D models and I think this one is pretty damn good. It uses MotionPortrait technology from a company by the same name. (I guess they don’t do much else.)

Woohoo! My 1000-piece Haruhi jigsaw puzzle has finally arrived! Or rather it arrived ages ago but I missed the delivery and only now found time to move my lazy ass to the post office to collect it! Yay!

This puzzle set was released by EPOCH, a company that specializes in making lame things like dart boards and those fake toy computers made for children. Apparently, that includes puzzles.

I bought it off Amazon JP. Being the anal bastards that they are, Amazon absolutely refuses to ship anything classified as a toy internationally and I had to pay through my nose for the shipping via a service offered by the local post office. I don’t know why exactly does Amazon have such a stupid policy, but I’m guessing it’s because toys are dangerous weapons of mass amusement that can destroy entire childhoods if they ever fall into the hands of terrorists. Haruhi bless Amazon.

Surprise! Bet you didn’t expect to find puzzle pieces in this box!

The puzzle measures 75.0cm x 50.0cm (for you silly non-metric people, that’s about the size of a fully-grown African elephant) when—and if ever—completed. The title printed on the box says “Super Live”. EPOCH also released another 1000-piece set called “Muteki no Kosupure” and a 500-piece set called “Saikyou no Kosupure“. Not the most creative names but what the hell since when did people care about naming their puzzle sets? All the source pictures are taken from illustrations that were made for past magazine centrefolds, which is kind of cheapskate too but what the hell since when did anime studios ever bother to draw more than five different pictures per series for merchandising purposes.

Wooo… Puzzle pieces.

Actually I’m being too harsh on it. It’s a puzzle set. Nothing more, nothing less. The quality is what you would expect from a jigsaw puzzle. The relevant features all are there (i.e. printed cardboard pieces with protrusions and holes). It comes with a pack of glue too. Although I really don’t see how glue can be made to be “designed for jigsaw puzzles”, but the packaging says so, so it must be true!

So, yeah. I wonder how long it will take for me to put it together.

You know, I would gladly kill a dozen people for there to be an official poster or puzzle set that uses the cover art of “Suzumiya Haruhi no Gekisou” Live DVD. Sigh, a guy can dream…

Singapore’s entry came from the recently-held Cosfest VI at Downtown East. I like Mexico’s dance moves. There are even some folks from “Itary”! Also, I can’t really tell through all the compression artefacts introduced by MPEG’s discrete cosine transform, but I think that Spanish girl looks pretty hawt. The Danish one too. And Australia is pretty sad… :(

One day, everyone will dance Hare Hare Yukai and world peace will finally be achieved.