Following my recent review of the so-wrong-yet-so-right tsuncest (yes I just made that up) PSP game OreImo, this article from Otome Sugoren seems timely. Of course, I do not personally read what appears to be the Japanese equivalent of Cosmopolitan and was merely linked to this particular article. Please don’t judge me.

So anyway, here are the top eight classic tsundere lines chosen by Otome Sugoren’s highly scientific surveys (lol) for your guilt-ridden perusal.

So tsundere that she is used as the textbook example

Number 1: “hima datta kara!”
The girl calls you up saying, “I had nothing else to do!”

Girls who call you for no particular reasons to grace you with their company because they are “free”. The way they stubbornly stick to their excuse is cute. Guys sense a hint of affection behind such statements and feel happy.

“I guess your present is okay…”

Number 2: “tekitou ni oitoite yo”
Presented with a gift, the girl says, “Just leave it somewhere” and receives the gift haphazardly, but her face looks very happy.

Although they try to act like they do not care about the gift, their grinning expressions make you feel at ease. Girls who try to maintain a facade contrary to their true feelings can melt a guy’s heart.

She doesn’t need your help

Number 3: “hontou wa jibun de dekirun dakedo”
The girl asks for your help but stresses, “I could’ve done it myself.”

For example, smart and confident girls who have problems with electronics may try to hide their shortcomings when asking for help. Girls who try to hide their weakness but fail can be seen as adorable by guys.

She’s just encouraging you

Number 4: “darashiganai otoko dane! “
The girl complains, “You are such a slob!” but still helps you out.

The senpai at your part-time job who scolds you for messing up but covers up your mistakes perfectly. No matter how much they complain, these girls still can’t help but lend you a hand in the end. Guys love the maternal instinct.

>:|

Number 5: “bakka jyanai no!”
“Are you stupid?” The girl curses at you but still accepts you for who you are.

You quit your job without consulting her and she asks if you are an idiot, but in the end consoles you and says, “If you really can’t find a job, I’ll support you.” No matter how angry they get, these girls stand by you in the end. Their affection gives guys peace of mind.

The forgotten dark history

Number 6: “anta, douse hima desho!”
The girl says, “You are free anyway, right?” and asks you out on a date.

The girl is trying to make an underhand remark about how you have no one else to go on dates with, but nevertheless it makes you smile. Guys enjoy the back-and-forth process in establishing an “unspoken understanding” with such girls.

It’s no big deal.

Number 7: “arigataku omoinasai yo!”
The girl hands you a present and says, “You had better be grateful” while avoiding your glance.

Girls who try to hide their embarrassment by doing this are unbearably cute. Their snide contradictory remarks accentuate the importance of their actions and make their love for you stand out even more prominently.

Has this line ever been truthful in the course of human history?

Number 8: “tsuide ni tsukutta dake dayo!”
The girl prepares a bento filled with love for you, but says, “I just happened to make some extra!”

Even though she claims it wasn’t meant for you, the bento is for some reason full of your favourite food. A homemade bento alone is already a powerful item for winning a guy’s heart, but its effects are made even more powerful by the fact that it is inexplicably sumptuous despite being made “incidentally”.

She is not blushing

Tellingly, most of the statements end with an exclamation mark. Ah… who doesn’t love a tsundere girl?

Now you know enough lines to write your own light novel! Just repeat each one 500 times and you are all set. If you need more inspirations, you can try this CD.

It is surprisingly difficult to find pictures of tsundere girls looking tsun.

According to Nico Nico Pedia, ξﾟ⊿ﾟ)ξ is the official emoticon for tsundere. It depicts a twin-tail girl making an unhappy face.

And to end on a wtf note.

Hint: this is as far as the door opens.

Answer lies after the break.

Basically, the postman has access to a back panel from which he can slot things into any of the mailboxes in the same section. The package happened to be just the right size to fit into one compartment but he didn’t take into consideration of the piece of metal sticking out from the back of the front access panel. And if you had ordered from Amazon before, you would know that the packaging they use is considerably rigid…

I did manage to take it out in the end. But it wasn’t pretty.

If you don’t get the joke, go study calculus. I should really be revising for my exams next week. I hate chemistry.

I thought that maybe it’s because I am not a lolicon. Maybe it would be better if the girls were older. Nanoha StrikerS sounded like a pretty good idea. But apparently, I was wrong. It’s just as boring as ever. Let me summarize the first episode the way I saw it…

First we are introduced to Subaru, a generic hyperactive (as emphasized by her bandanna, her hand guards and her rollerskates) girl who was rescued by Nanoha from a fire and spent the following years of her life fantasizing about having hawt lesbian relationship with her saviour. I hate her.

“My right hand is swelling with justice!”

Next to her is Teana, a generic tsundere twin-tail redhead who obviously has the hawts for Subaru but refuses to admit it due to her over-inflated pride. She is secretly jealous of Nanoha’s position in Subaru’s heart but at the same time she refuses to be true to her feelings and desperately tries to convince herself that she is straight. In other words, she’s a textbook example of tsunderekko. She carries a revolver that can also act as a grappling hook, making it one of the most innovative weapons in the entire series. Not.

“This grappling hook revolver is a metaphor for my confused sexuality.”

The two of them are taking the qualifying exam to become serfs of the Space Time Administration. In order to pass the test to become agents for this paramilitary organization that seems to hire nearly nothing but girls, something that would’ve gotten it sued by ACLU if Japan were America, Subaru and Teana must destroy a bunch of targets within a set amount of time. Targets that move slower than the Earth’s tectonic plates and shoot tiny pulses of beams that look like they can’t even power a pocket calculator.

But somehow Teana manages to get owned anyway. The over-confident tsundere girl getting owned by a puny target drone? How unexpected. Clearly a new benchmark for future plot twists in the series.

“I love you but I gotta hit you to pretend that I don’t!”

And what is even more unexpected is that despite the leg injury suffered by Teana, the two of them managed to come up with a daring and vague plan to destroy the final boss which happens to be a large generical spherical object. Shocking. I was so touched by the friendship and love they displayed through their splendid teamwork that I weeped. Or maybe it’s just sand.

“Watch me skate uphill on a glowing path made of pure love!”

At this point I decided that maybe I should stop watching before the awesomeness of this show overwhelms my brain’s capacity and drives me insane with its sheer brilliance. But it was too late. My body refused to respond and I couldn’t lift my hands to reach for the left mouse button. I resigned to my fate (LOL FATE).

So anyway the two girls passed their test. Hurray! I didn’t see that one coming. Nanoha makes her grand entrance with a face that’s just as loli as ever. Apparently people in this show don’t grow older, they just grow bigger and taller. Either that or the character designer needs to work on his proportions.

“takamachi nanoha desu.“

Subaru immediately goes into wai wai fangirl mode and attempts to glomp Nanoha. Teana pretends to not care but curses Nanoha in her heart. And they live happily ever after. The end.

Actually, I admit that I’m not being fair to the episode with this summary… I made it sound more interesting than it really is. :/

The Victory Pose!

I scored 335/400 overall with the breakdown as follows:
Vocabulary: 69/100
Listening: 90/100
Reading & Grammar: 176/200

I was 8 points short of my goal of 343. For the record, I scored 381 for JLPT 3 in 2004 and 362 for JLPT 2 in 2005. I did quite badly for the vocabulary section. I guess this is what I get for being too lazy to memorize kanji.

So, how did everyone else do?

Basically they are…

– Get an early start. If possible, depart from the first station on the line. Considering the extra outlay to purchase a reserved seat ticket.

– Be especially careful if you commute on express trains with long intervals between stops.

– If you’re standing, grasp the strap with both hands, so they are visible to everyone in your proximity.

– Turn your back towards women standing close by.

– If you happen to bump against a woman, say “Pardon me” in a voice loud enough to be heard by other passengers and change your position.

– Under no circumstances should you stand beside girls of middle school age.

– Apologize promptly and profusely for any physical contacts with a woman, even arm contact.

– Chew gum or suck on bad breath mints — bad breath tends to annoy people.

– It’s dangerous to tap out messages on cell phones as some women may suspect a man is using the built-in camera to surreptitiously take her photo.

Some of my own suggestions:

• Carry two full grocery bags.
• Play with your PSP or DS lite.
• Learn to solve a Rubik’s Cube.
• Try juggling.
• Read a book. A huge one that requires two hands for support.
• Make out with your girlfriend. (Make sure she’s legal, though)
• Alternatively, read a porn magazine with one hand and use the other hand to uh…
• Wear a pair of sunglasses and carry a walking stick.
• Pretend to have Alzheimer.
• Be a J-Pop idol.
• Be female.
• Failing that, dress like a female.
• Cut off your fingers.
• Carry an ID card that says that you are an Ass Inspector for the Ministry of Health.
• Buy a car so that you don’t have to take the train.
• Rent a car if you can’t afford one.
• Steal a car.
• Grope the girl for real since you might as well.

I like the last one personally.

Channel U recently aired a TV special covering the new cosplay maid cafe that just opened in Singapore last month. I was there on New Year’s Eve when they took some of the footages and was caught by the camera pan in this frame!

You can watch the video yourself after the jump, which includes an interview (in Chinese) with LianYL. LOL! LOL! LOL! Video is in Mandarin Chinese (or as close as it gets in Singapore).

The video was ripped by daffodilistic from #SGAnimeBloggers @ irc.rizon.net. Please don’t sue me, kthx. BTW, check out my spanking new YouTube Director’s account!

妄想ボイスCD第二弾「おしかりCD」
Mousou Voice CD Vol.2 “Oshikari CD”

Do you love tsundere girls? Especially when they go tsuntsun? Well, here’s the perfect CD for you then!

This is the second instalment of Ciffon‘s 妄想 (mousou) series. Basically each CD has a specific theme and 12 seiyuu (mostly newbies) each read out a 101-line script based on that theme. The theme for this CD is “Oshikari” or “scolding”. Yeah, you read that right. This CD contains 1200+ lines of girls scolding you. :P

The best part of the CD is that it has Shizuka Itou (Tamaki Kousaka from ToHeart2) voicing the first track. That was all it took to convince me to buy this CD from Neowing with my remaining membership points. Here’s Shizuka-sama’s track:

Below are all 101 lines with my translation. All twelve tracks use the same 101 lines.

1. さあ、はじめるよ。私の気持ち、しっかり受け止めてね
   » Alright, let’s begin. Please accept my feelings, okay?
2. ばか、ばか、ばか
   » Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
3. 分かんないわよ！
   » How should I know that?
4. いいかげんにしてください、もう知りません
   » That’s enough. I don’t know you anymore.
5. もう知らない、せっかく信用してたのに
   » I give up! And to think that I trusted you!
6. 絶対許さない、一生忘れないんだから
   » I’ll never forgive you! I won’t ever forget this!
7. あー、もうやだ
   » I’m sick of this.
8. いいかげんにしてよ！
   » Stop that nonsense!
9. あんたばかじゃないの！？
   » Are you stupid!?
10. わたしガキは嫌いなの
    » I hate brats.
11. 変なの、信じられない
    » What a weirdo, unbelievable.
12. 気持ち悪い・・・
    » Disgusting…
13. いや～
    » Yuck~
14. 一生地べたにé€ã„つくばっていなさいよ
    » Keep crawling on the ground for the rest of your life.
15. こんな人だとは思わなかった
    » I never knew you were such a person.
16. もーやだ、死んじゃえー
    » I’m sick of you, just die.
17. なんてことしてくれるのよ、もうありえない
    » Look at what you’ve done! I can’t believe this.
18. もうキライ
    » I hate you!
19. ばっかやろー
    » You idiot!
20. ちょっと頭おかしいんじゃないの
    » Is there something wrong with your head?
21. 口で言っても分からないなら体で覚えてもらいましょうか
    » If you can’t comprehend my words, how about I tell it to your body?
22. 叩くよ、ぼっこぼこにãã‚‹ã‚ˆ
    » Don’t make me hit you, I’ll make sure it hurts.
23. こらっ。いつまで寝てんの。早く起きないと踏みつけちゃうぞ！
    » Hey! How long do you plan to keep sleeping? I’m going to kick you if you don’t wake up now!
24. アホーーー
    » Moron.
25. こら、だめでしょ
    » Hey, don’t do that.
26. バカにつける薬はないわね
    » There’s no remedy for stupidity.
27. だから言ってんでしょ、もうついてこないで
    » I warned you before, don’t come close to me!
28. 顔もみたくない、二度と声かけないで
    » I don’t want to see your face. Don’t talk to me ever again.
29. わたしと話ããªã‚“て１００年早いのよ
    » You are 100 years too early to speak to me.
30. もー、怒っちゃうよ
    » Jeez, I’m getting angry now.
31. 好きと嫌いはç´ä¸€é‡ã€ç§ã®è¨€è‘‰ã‚’しっかりと受け止めてね
    » Love and hate are two sides of the same paper. Please remember my words, okay?
32. おやじくさーい
    » You are so square!
33. いいかげんにして、あやまりなさい
    » That’s enough, apologize now!
34. なんでそんなに卑屈なの
    » Why are you such a wimp?
35. ずっと信じた私がバカだったのね
    » I was a fool for believing in you all this time.
36. 何度でも言うからね、やっちゃだめ
    » I’ll say it as many times as it takes. Don’t do that!
37. いいえ、違いまãã€‚注意してるの、私は
    » No, I am merely giving you a warning.
38. 無礼者！なにをしておろう！
    » What insolence! How dare you do that!
39. うつけもの！私をだれと心得ておる！
    » Fool! Who do you take me for?
40. わたしばっかり頼らないで、自分でãã‚‹ã®
    » Stop depending on me and do it yourself.
41. 悪い子にはおしおきしちゃうわよ
    » Naughty boys require punishments.
42. 世間様に申し訳ないと思わないの？
    » Don’t you feel remorse for letting down humanity?
43. 大好きだったのに・・・
    » And to think that I loved you…
44. 大っきらい
    » I really hate you!
45. パン、パン、パーン
    » *punch* *punch* *punch*
46. どっちがいいのよ、はっきりしなさいよ
    » Which do you prefer? Hurry up and pick.
47. ふんっ。もう口聞いてあげないんだから
    » Pfft. I’m not going to listen to your anymore.
48. オタクっぽい
    » You look otaku.
49. そんな目でわたしを見ないで
    » Don’t look at me like that.
50. 今度やったら許さないよ
    » I won’t forgive you if you do it again.
51. どうしょうもないわね、あなたは
    » You are really hopeless.
52. そんなにデブデブ太って、知らないわよ
    » You just keep putting on weight. I don’t care anymore.
53. 別にあんたのために心配してるんじゃないんだからねっ
    » I am not worrying for you sake, got it?
54. もう取り返しのつかないことになってしまったね
    » This has reached the point of no return.
55. うるさい、だまれ
    » Quiet, shut up!
56. 二度と関わらないでください
    » Please don’t come near me ever again.
57. いい加減にしてください、お断りしまã
    » That’s enough, I am not interested.
58. まるでなってないわ、もう何をしてもだめなものはだめ
    » Why don’t you get it? It won’t work no matter how much you try.
59. 呆れてなにもいえない
    » I am too appalled to respond to that.
60. だーめっ、そんなことしちゃだめ
    » No! You can’t do that!
61. 近寄らないで、汚らわしい
    » Don’t come close to me, you’re filthy.
62. 君のせいで大変なことになったわ、責任とってよね
    » You are the cause of all this. It’s your responsibility.
63. お前、いいかんげんにしろよ
    » You, enough with the nonsense.
64. いつまでも一緒に居られると思ったら大間違いよ
    » If you think I’ll always be with you, you are mistaken.
65. 大丈夫って言ってくれたのに、この腰抜け～
    » You said you could handle it! Coward.
66. いいって言うまでこっち向くな
    » Don’t turn around until I say it’s okay.
67. 何回言ったら分かるの？猿だってできるわよ、これくらい
    » How many times do I have to show you? Even a monkey could’ve done it by now.
68. 何日徹夜ãã‚Œã°æ°—が済むの？身体こわしちゃうよ
    » How many days are you planning to work overnight? Your body is going to collapse.
69. 疲れたの？だめ、まだまだ許してあげない
    » Tired already? I won’t let you off yet.
70. あんたなんか大嫌い、もう顔も見たくない
    » I hate you! Don’t let me see your face again!
71. そんなこと言ってるからいつまでも子供って言われるのよ
    » It’s because you always say such things that people treat you like a kid.
72. あなたが知り合いって思われたくない
    » I don’t want to be associated with you.
73. このやろー、うちの畑荒らããªãƒ¼
    » You bastard! Don’t destroy our fields!
74. いつまでも私が笑って許ãã¨æ€ã£ãŸã‚‰å¤§é–“違いよ
    » You are mistaken if you think I’ll always forgive you with a smile.
75. あの人の仇ーーー
    » This is revenge for that person!
76. 必殺、お叱りパンチ、えい、えい、えいーーー
    » Special move, Oshikari Punch! Take this!
77. キック、パンチ、チョップ！これでもか
    » Kick! Punch! Chop! Still want more?
78. ヘラヘラãã‚‹ã®ã‚„めて
    » Stop being so frivolous.
79. イヤ、ぜったいイヤ
    » No! Not in a million years!
80. あー、疲れた、もうだめ
    » I’m tired of this. I give up.
81. あなたといると退屈しないわ、色んな意味で
    » I don’t get bored when I’m with you. Not in a good way.
82. 正直にいいなさい、叱られるのが嬉しいんでしょ
    » Just say it, you love being scolded don’t you?
83. お叱りモード全開！
    » It’s scolding time!
84. 言うこと聞いてくれないと嫌いになっちゃうよ
    » If you don’t listen to what I tell you, I won’t like you any more.
85. これくらいじゃ私を喜ばããªã‚“て無理よ
    » This is far from being enough to make me happy.
86. い～い？もう一度言うからよく聞くのよ
    » Ready? I’ll only say it one more time.
87. いつか天誅をくらうわよ、この悪党
    » Someday you will incur divine wrath, you scoundrel!
88. こんなことも出来ないの？私がいないと何もできないのね
    » You can’t even do this yourself? You are really helpless without me.
89. 悪いのはお前だーー
    » You are the one at fault!
90. この気持ちが分からないの？
    » Don’t you understand my feelings?
91. 言いつけてやる、絶対言いつけてやるんだから
    » I’ll tell on you! I’ll tell on you no matter what!
92. このままだったら一生恋人はできないわよ
    » At this rate you’ll never find a girlfriend for the rest of your life.
93. こんなこと信じちゃってばかじゃないのー
    » You believe in such things? Are you an idiot?
94. 結局戻ってきたのね、でも許さない
    » So, you came back after all. But I’m not going to forgive you.
95. これでもか、これでもか、これでもか
    » You want more? You want more? You want more?
96. 泣いたって何もでないわよ。わたしだって泣きたいわよ
    » I can’t do anything even if you cry. It’s not like I don’t feel like crying.
97. 投げ出しちゃだめ
    » Don’t throw it out!
98. べ、べつに好きなわけじゃないんだからね
    » I-It’s not like I like you or anything.
99. わたしはあなたのことを思っていってるのよ
    » I say this because I care for you.
100. 最後までよく耐えたわね、こんな私のこと嫌いになった？
     » Looks like you managed to hold on till the end. Do you hate me now?
101. しょうがないわねえ、今回だけよ、許してあげるの、じゃあね
     » You really are hopeless. I’ll forgive you, but just this time got it?

Tama-nee never fails to bring out my inner M. <3

The first Mousou CD was Oniichan and, as you can probably imagine, features all the trademark little sister lines. Perfect gift for your siscon/lolicon friends.

You can order Oshikari CD and Oniichan CD from Amazon Japan.

OSHIKARI PUNCH!

Taken from Akiba-blog

Yay!! The first anime adaptation of Kanon!… right?
– Asobit City

R.I.P Toei. You are not dead but you have been forgotten.

So anyway, the first Kanon DVD is out! Well, it’s not supposed to be out till 1 Jan but who cares about the official release date, right?

That said, Kyo-Ani’s Kanon is great. And it’s not because of Yuuichi. Mai has got to be the best Yukarin role ever next to Ichigo from the Onegai series.