ecchi nano wa ikenai to omoimasu

No? Nuts. Well, here’s something from the other extreme. While surfing Nico Douga two days ago, I chanced upon all six episodes of Golden Boy, that were uploaded under extremely nonsensical titles, and rediscovered the pubescent joys of blatant innuendoes and sexual stereotyping.

Blast from the past

Golden Boy is a short OVA series from the age when veliciraptors roamed, or in other words, the 90s, back when Jurassic Park first came out. It’s the insanely risqué and politically incorrect story of Kintarou Oe, a Toudai student who left school before his graduation in order to travel around the country and “study”.

All Toudai students have Newtype sense

In each episode, his travels take him to new places where he meets beautiful girls and terrorizes them with his lewd behaviour and his hilarious forthrightness. But there’s more to him than he first appears (a pervert acting without thinking on impulse) and the real fun of the show lies in the duality of his personality, which is revealed in the first episode and leaves you coming back for more.

Oh my god! Look at that…ancient CRT monitor. O_O

In a way, he’s like the precursor to Eikichi Onizuka from GTO, except way more racy. Onizuka may love pantsu as much as the next pervert, but he’s got nothing on Kintarou.

There are a total of six episodes of Golden Boy and each one features a different main girl. The formula is roughly the same: Boy meets girl. Boy is perverted. Hilarity ensues. There is little continuity in the story, save for the self-referential final episode.

This is a normal scene for a Japanese software company

At this point, before you go ahead and torrent legitimately purchase this show, it has to be made clear that this series is meant for a mature audience, the fact that I first watched it in middle school notwithstanding.

No, there’s no sex, despite the plot setting that sounds suspiciously like a B-grade porn flick, and indeed not much fappable material at all. What it does have is some nudity and a truckload of adult humour (or low grade humour, it’s the same thing really). This is the kind of animé that they talk about in PTA meetings while brandishing pitchforks and torches.

(That said, the source material of the show, a manga series by the same title, does venture somewhat deeper…)

It’s over 9000!

It’s incredible hard for me to describe why this show is great without spoiling the punchlines, so I’ll just not try. But imagine GTO, except 200% more NSFW.

And while toilet humour (literally) and sexual innuendos are the soup of the day and the series’ raison d’être, some episode endings do provide additional sentimental à la carte, clichéd as some of it may be, for those of you who need to crywank (à la Key fanboys). Either way, it’s excellent guilty pleasure for those who seek it.

What unseen horrors has she just walked into?

Good lord, I believe I just hacked together my own abominable culinary metaphor while simultaneously using an obscene amount of français. I’m a bloody genius.

So. Uh. Yeah. This show is pretty good, but don’t tell anyone that I recommended it! I have a reputation to protect.

Getting it

Interestingly, ADV actually dubbed and released this series before, so you should buy the original. Their license expired some time ago, but apparently Media Blaster picked it up last year, so a re-release is probably not too long off.

That said, not everyone can afford animé when corn prices are so high. If you understand Moonspeak and have an account at Nico Douga: 1 2 3 4 5 6

If not, there’s always That Which Must Not Be Named.

More screencaps

I swear this isn’t porn

No, really…

Why won’t you believe me? :(

C-C-C-Combo breaker (was never funny)

See, there’s nothing suggestive about a woman in tight leather riding a bike

Kimono is nice and prude

Oh fiddlesticks. I give up!

Vrooooom

And so this blog lives to die another day.