{"id":728,"date":"2007-02-11T23:57:41","date_gmt":"2007-02-11T15:57:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/2007\/02\/11\/how-to-avoid-being-falsely-accused-of-groping\/"},"modified":"2007-02-12T00:06:28","modified_gmt":"2007-02-11T16:06:28","slug":"how-to-avoid-being-falsely-accused-of-groping","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/2007\/02\/11\/how-to-avoid-being-falsely-accused-of-groping\/","title":{"rendered":"How to avoid being falsely accused of groping"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp\/waiwai\/news\/20070210p2g00m0dm026000c.html\">Mainichi Daily News<\/a> has an article on some key points to avoiding being falsely accused of groping on crowded trains. (Via <a href=\"http:\/\/www.japanprobe.com\/?p=1129\">Japan Probe<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p>Basically they are&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8211; Get an early start. If possible, depart from the first station on the line. Considering the extra outlay to purchase a reserved seat ticket.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Be especially careful if you commute on express trains with long intervals between stops.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; If you&#8217;re standing, grasp the strap with both hands, so they are visible to everyone in your proximity.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Turn your back towards women standing close by.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; If you happen to bump against a woman, say &#8220;Pardon me&#8221; in a voice loud enough to be heard by other passengers and change your position.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Under no circumstances should you stand beside girls of middle school age.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Apologize promptly and profusely for any physical contacts with a woman, even arm contact.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Chew gum or suck on bad breath mints &#8212; bad breath tends to annoy people.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; It&#8217;s dangerous to tap out messages on cell phones as some women may suspect a man is using the built-in camera to surreptitiously take her photo.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Some of my own suggestions:<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Carry two full grocery bags.<\/li>\n<li>Play with your PSP or DS lite.<\/li>\n<li>Learn to solve a Rubik&#8217;s Cube.<\/li>\n<li>Try juggling.<\/li>\n<li>Read a book. A huge one that requires two hands for support.<\/li>\n<li>Make out with your girlfriend. (Make sure she&#8217;s legal, though)<\/li>\n<li>Alternatively, read a porn magazine with one hand and use the other hand to uh&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Wear a pair of sunglasses and carry a walking stick.<\/li>\n<li>Pretend to have Alzheimer.<\/li>\n<li>Be a J-Pop idol.<\/li>\n<li>Be female.<\/li>\n<li>Failing that, dress like a female.<\/li>\n<li>Cut off your fingers.<\/li>\n<li>Carry an ID card that says that you are an Ass Inspector for the Ministry of Health.<\/li>\n<li>Buy a car so that you don&#8217;t have to take the train.<\/li>\n<li>Rent a car if you can&#8217;t afford one.<\/li>\n<li>Steal a car.<\/li>\n<li>Grope the girl for real since you might as well.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I like the last one personally.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mainichi Daily News has an article on some key points to avoiding being falsely accused of groping on crowded trains. (Via Japan Probe) Basically they are&#8230; &#8211; Get an early start. If possible, depart from the first station on the &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/2007\/02\/11\/how-to-avoid-being-falsely-accused-of-groping\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[59,57,51,532,112,531,58],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/728"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=728"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/728\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=728"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=728"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.darkmirage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=728"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}